What to do if I can't pass?

>>6615222
no

>>6615222
Play video games and do things you like, until you don't think it's worth living anymore.

>>6615222
Get a wife and children

>>6615222
>So, I know I will never pass.
Every trans woman who doesn't go into transition straight from social crossdressing "knows" this.

>I don't want to be a hon or kill myself.
Yeah, it would suck to be an older transitioner who acts like a 50s stereotype of womanhood or die. You've got a lot of other options, thankfully.

>What the fuck do I do?
See a shrink since you're confused.

>If I take testosterone will it fix my brain and help me repress?
No (and dysphoria may worsen) and yes, respectively. You're stuck with your brain for now, but testosterone (bad idea) and lifting can give you feelings of accomplishment and efficacy that help you repress - for a time.

Repression isn't a solution, though. It's a coping mechanism, and one that's necessarily temporary. It lets you put off to later what you can't deal with now. If you're not seeing a "later" where it will be better to deal with your desire to transition, you may as well not wait.