Cis LesGen

File: 30806-1414785511-6.gif (822KB, 500x281px) Image search: [Google]

822KB, 500x281px

Lewd question, but do you guys ever watch yourself masturbate? Not like in a mirror, but just looking down.
Started out something I liked to do when I was high, but now? I don't even need a fantasy going on half the time.

Om nom nom

>tfw no qt rich Amanda Tapping gf to pay for srs
why even live

>>6594263
you know what helps? cyanide

>>6594258
Most of the time I can't keep my eyes open.

>>6594240
Why did you make a new thread? I was in the middle of a discussion. Well whatever, I'm kinda tired anyway.

>>6594274
Stay in the dead thread and finish your autistic ranting you pathetic /pol/shit. I swear, if women don't scream at them to leave, they assume they're welcome or liked by women or some retarded shit like that.

>>6594264
You know what would really help? If you answered my question here >>6594258
I just want to know how you ladies masturbate, don't be afraid to be graphic.

>>6594291
Oooo using the big words. I'm literally laughing if anything.

>>6594270
I mean, at the end, yeah

>>6594240
>or answer a survey via vocaroo:
>Sub or Dom or Switch?

icwudt

>>6594233

>heterosexual female smell the best

Well fug how is that supposed to help us?

I bet people tend to rate smells like their own highest. I fucking love my own skin smell.

>>6594351
>I bet people tend to rate smells like their own highest

Nope. All four groups liked the HF smell the most. The only thing that changed was the order of the remaining 3. Well to be fair this is tenuous evidence, and in some ways it even does show some empirical support for HFs actually existing. But I still find it interesting nonetheless.

File: the-supergirl-trailer-is-here-and-it-s-amazing-cbs-404526.jpg (141KB, 2880x1618px) Image search: [Google]

141KB, 2880x1618px

>tfw comfy new sofa
>tfw awesome gf
Life's bretti gud rn tbqh

>>6594340
The entire time, love. I can't get off watching porn and I like to do it sitting down with my back and head against a wall, eyes closed shut. Even if I look down there isn't much to see because angles

>>6594382
Hmmm, interesting.

>>6594376
You two met irl yet?
Because if you have, it's a lesbian crime not to post pics.

File: Supergirl-Ep-16-2.jpg (362KB, 533x800px) Image search: [Google]

362KB, 533x800px

>>6594440
Nah, we ain't gonna post pics. I ain't into being identifiable on a Zimbabwean hair-stroking board.

>>6594458
We posted pics

:^)

>>6594458
Post tummies.

File: tumblr_o2zoaodGNz1v4bogyo1_500.gif (2MB, 500x227px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 500x227px

>>6594464
Who tho?

>>6594468
Nah.

>>6594458

I'm gonna need a summary of all your irl dates and the level of deviant hand-holding that occurred.

>>6594468
Tummies aren't identifiable

>>6594475
Me

File: Screenshot from 2016-04-26 16:59:23.png (837KB, 1366x768px) Image search: [Google]

837KB, 1366x768px

>>6594485
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmaybe.

>>6594487
That doesn't give me any new information, silly.

File: 1469000123580.jpg (838KB, 1106x1293px) Image search: [Google]

838KB, 1106x1293px

>>6594509

Here's a tribute, now spill.

>>6594509
You said I was cute last thread

:^(

>>6594525
Hi, tummie anon, are you ready to get put in a tight dress and femmed up yet?

>>6594561
Waitin' on you to come make me

>>6594584
You're such a slut, you know you want to put on a tight dress and post on here to show how good you look for me.

File: Discovery_of_the_Mississippi.jpg (648KB, 1920x1247px) Image search: [Google]

648KB, 1920x1247px

>Sub or Dom or Switch?
Mostly a dom, but I can be a switch. :^)
>Describe your ideal gf.
Authentic and kind. Not into melodrama, and also not an agoraphobic introvert. Not high maintenance. Loves to hike, can get out of their comfort zone, and wants to try out new things. Not a NEET.

>Something that you haven't done that you would like to do (D I R T Y or not idc)
Forced exercise.

>>6594615
I only have a skirt.

>>6594570
Girls don't poop silly, only filthy transbians.

>tfw over a year on hrt and still pooping, thus not being tru trans (tm)

>>6594628

Is it short and tight? If so, that'll work.

File: image.jpg (257KB, 1280x960px) Image search: [Google]

257KB, 1280x960px

>>6594684
I, uh, don't think this is the look for me

>>6594731

Well I'm going to have to teach you how to match shit, but you have a qt figure.

Would do your makeup and femme you up more/10

Also, if you're in the Bay area, we have someone in the discord that wants your contact info.

>>6594731
it looks nice but not with that top

>>6594747
Jersey

>>6594755
True, but it's the only girly top I have

File: ctf.jpg (27KB, 500x233px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 500x233px

>>6594747

I will shiv the bitch who is trying to steal my butch-to-femme convert qt3.14 blonde gf.

File: 1458500107755.jpg (55KB, 878x814px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 878x814px

Being poor is suffering.

>>6594526
>>6594535
I don't get the joke.

File: 1468171887415.jpg (865KB, 608x1070px) Image search: [Google]

865KB, 608x1070px

>>6595078
>tfw you wouldn't be able to afford human euthanasia even if it was legal

>>6595109
>tfw all the richfags will get cybernetic bodies in a few years and you'll be stuck with your shitty flesh body

>>6592096
My first time was amazing

>>6593953
It's saix

>>6594258

Back to the original question... The only things I may look at are my nipples. I'll look down and play with them, watch them tighten up, sometimes put a little lube on them and watch how my fingers glide over them. A couple of minutes doing that and I'm ready for the main attraction (usually with my eyes closed).

File: 1449603796940.jpg (282KB, 1920x1200px) Image search: [Google]

282KB, 1920x1200px

>>6594731
>5'2"

>>6595163
I'd guess eventually.

The girl you like, lesgen. I want to hear about her. What are her attractive qualities? How does she make you feel? Any weaknesses you can forgive her for? Is she yours, and if not, why?

>sub, dom, switch
Seriously submissive.

>ideal gf
Pluse? I don't know. I like pretty girls.

>something to do
Boldly going where no man has ever gone before

If I'm feeling brave, I'll do a vocaroo version of this.

Who here /cheats/?

My main problem is that my family is rich, like super duper rich.

I've never had a job before in my life and I just sit at home by myself and stay thoroughly bored and horny.

My gf's mom is sick and she is out of town visiting her and I did well for two nights but last night I reeled in one of my OkCupid qts and it was awesome.

Wish my parents would buy me a wife with literally nothing better to do than hang out with me all day.

File: autist alert.jpg (17KB, 385x387px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 385x387px

>>6596416
I'll do my best to describe
>soft butch
>short blonde hair
>cute dimples/smile
>wants to be in the RAF
>genuinely nice, funny, etc.

Two of my best friends know her really well, but don't really help set us up at all. Also, she knows I like her, but doesn't seem too interested. However, one of my friends told me she is really happy that somebody actually likes her, so idk what to believe.

I'm hopeless at talking to her via text too. I had like two text conversations with her, but I was just so nervous I could barely do it. The last time I spoke to her was almost 2 weeks ago. I am so bad at talking to people in that way, it feels wrong, or like I am doing it incorrectly. I need motivation, lesgen.

>>6595163
Nope.

>>6596639
Juun?

>>6596639
Suki/ex gf chan

>>6596461
>I'll do a vocaroo version of this.

Please be brave.

>>6596509

>I've never had a job before in my life and I just sit at home by myself and stay thoroughly bored and horny.

I relate to this but as a poor NEET so reeeee.

>>6596548

>ask her if she thinks Kate McKinnon is hot
>she inevitably says yes
>ask her to go to ghostbusters with you
>commence attempt at theater handholding

>tfw no rich amanda tapping waifu to help pay for my transition

>>6596784
Nope.

>>6596813
:D

File: sg1_402_733_A.jpg (21KB, 600x442px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 600x442px

>>6596416

>want to post
>cant because she reads lesgen
SHES ALWAYS WATCHING
ALWAYS LISTENING

IVE PROBABLY ALREADY SAID TOO MUCH.

>>6597000
Oi hands off.

>>6596548
No excuse.
Ask how she feels about it, let her know it's going to happen if the concept of 'permission' isn't your thing.
After that, she can decide to continue or not.

Being dishonest about anything like that is being a dick, perish.

>>6597053
Pussy.

I really want to flirt with girls, even if it's online and just for the hell of it. Is interpals a good place?

>>6597047
Thought so. You're femme. But without the long hair I wouldn't call you super femme.

>>6597251
You in the discord? Plenty of girls to hit on.

>>6597263
Nope. I never hit on someone before, can't imagine myself actually speaking with people with that intent, for now I hope. Think I'll stick with texting for now.

>>6596227
Do you wanna fucking fight, girl?

>>6597303
I would fight you, but I'd feel really bad about hurting somebody who's barely taller than a child

>>6596509
How many hours a week do you spend masturbating?

>>6597303
Y u gt 2 fite 4?

File: tumblr_inline_mv1mj3dKdI1qmqivu.gif (1012KB, 488x275px) Image search: [Google]

1012KB, 488x275px

>>6597187

As if we're not awkward enough without me writing out a list of all the great things about her for her to see. Come on now senpai.

>>6597327
An now i want to know.
Story Time!

>>6597314
>you
>beating me
I'm stronger than your average short girl, senpai.

>>6597318
Napoleon Complex

>>6597327
Tell us about DA BUTT

Why would any cis lesbian want a trans gf when they don't have a vagina that you can touch and lick?

>>6597341
Show us your biceps again.

>>6597341
Silly...

>>6596416
>silky, wavy blond hair
>almond-shaped green eyes
>cute cheeks
>sleek, long legs
>cute feminine penis

>>6597355
My true strength comes from my legs, I ride bikes.
If I manage to bring you down to the ground, you're not going nowhere.

>>6597351
I do like vaginas.
Like... A lot.
But i imagine the closeness would be what they are looking for. Never known of any trans couples. So i might be a bad person to base this on. But i do study the T in our lgbt quite a bit.

>>6597370
Anon, do you have thicc muscular thighs?

>>6597337
Story? No no no.
2embarassing.

>>6597345
Imagine the most perfect butt ever.
Then imagine it being better than that.

>>6597358
Really?

Why....

File: amanda-tapping_photo.jpg (121KB, 284x400px) Image search: [Google]

121KB, 284x400px

>tfw Amanda Tapping will never sneak into your bedroom at night in her discount rack Wal Mart nightie and give you good girl kissies on your forehead
>her wrinkly old sun damaged bosom poking out from the top of her nightgown as she fiddles your girItinkIer
Some day. At some sci fi convention, I will make Amanda Tapping love me.

>>6597378
Godammit I just wanted to see it ONCE before things became official.

>>6597378
Who is she that she's in here all the time?

>>6597370
>If I manage to bring you down to the ground
yes, please do.

Your arms looked good too, you don't lift?

File: image.jpg (295KB, 1280x960px) Image search: [Google]

295KB, 1280x960px

>>6597376
Nothing extreme

>>6597397
Used to years ago, but eveyr summer I'm gonna get the deal again, something happens where I don't have money for it, and I refuse to go to a shitty chain 'gym'

File: image.jpg (289KB, 1280x960px) Image search: [Google]

289KB, 1280x960px

>>6597410
My calves don't match my thighs and that kinda pisses me off.

>>6597370
You can't build muscle without increasing resistance; bikes don't provide a very wide range of resistances.

>>6597431
It's all I can do save body weight exercises for the time being.
I miss squats for than I miss having a girl friend.

>>6597399
>>6597427
You're a ftm?
Why the hell are you in here?
You forfeited your girl rights when you said you don't want to be a girl anymore.

File: 1447368168870.jpg (17KB, 216x251px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 216x251px

>>6597445
>doesn't squat
>half a foot shorter
>thinks she'd have any chance at beating me in a fight

>>6597452
What are you talking about?

>>6597390
A loser with nothing better to do

>>6597386
I will send the butt, but I might need a hand on it for scale or something.

>>6597187
Pls no goad. Maybe you should share first.

File: tumblr_nkwk3dcLmU1rjkjhfo1_500.gif (2MB, 496x279px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 496x279px

>>6597386
Im sorry, I truly am.


>>6597390
She's not in here *all* the time, but she pops in often enough that if I go into detail about all the things about her that bouy me up inside, she'll see it and then get embarassed. That and also probably tease me about it.

>>6597458
Are you a dude?

>>6597452
I'm not FTM, dipshit

>>6597458
I have a lower center of gravity. Good luck knocking down a weeble wobble like me.

>>6597476
No.

>>6597483
>Good luck knocking down a weeble wobble like me
I'd have fun trying at the very least

>>6597483
Oh. You just like being hairy.

>>6597484

Can I kiss your thighs?

>>6597510
You say that like being hairy isn't the default state for a human

Fuck off

>>6597510
Yeah, dude. I'm gay, that means I get to style myself however I want.

>>6597399
Dude legs/10
Pls to shave. Girls should be smooth, soft, smooth and soft. I mean you look cute and all so I'm not just being a dick but

Smooth girls only

>>6597525
>>>/pol/

>>6597525

Go date a femboy if that's all you care about.

>>6597525
Why so close minded, babe?
I'm not brain damaged, so I don't need to artificially create more signifiers that I'm with a chick and not a dude. The two are pretty different as it is.

I mean, I'm all for smooth chick legs too, but that's only one flavor.

>>6597399
>stubby muscular legs
Adorable.
>>6597410
>>6597445
>and I refuse to go to a shitty chain 'gym'
I got you. I'm in a shitty city for working out and I'll be moving to an even worst one and it hurts my soul how every single day I can feel my muscles slowly turning into dust.
Also
>I miss squats more than I miss having a girl friend
this so much
>>6597452
>Why the hell are you in here?
shoo shoo, don't push my crush away

>>6597519
Oh your a tree hugger that doesn't believe in labels then.
The "queer" we have in here.
Or are you mtf? Idk. Why dont you just tell us so you can stop being bitter over your own discrepancies.

>>6597556
>not shitting on my legs
>the bitter one

;^)

>>6597556

Stop talking please, thanks. Leave hairy girls alone you weirdo, this is the lesbian thread.

>>6597553
You're crush is a dude?

>>6597556
Yeah, whatever dude. Some people are more attracted to women who don't feel the need to subscribe to antiquated beauty standards

>>6597567
Is this your sneaky way of tricking me into sending you nudes?

>>6597564
But i think im the only real lesbian in here...

You know what, this is flooded with men right now. You're right, im out.

File: 1464242590426.gif (56KB, 500x267px) Image search: [Google]

56KB, 500x267px

>>6597578

>""""""real"""""" lesbian
>ew hairy girls are icky

>>6597578
Friend, if anything, I'm the most stereotypical lesbian out there.
Hairy lesbians have been the stereotype since time began.
It's ok, you'll get into it soon enough.

>>6597578
>thinks not shaving your legs makes you a man
>calls others a tranny

Go and stay go

>>6597571
Yeah.or you could just be a dude.

>>6597561
Ok but you have man legs.

>>6597577
Please don't

>>6597600
What are female legs, then, in your opinion.
Don't really think they're that 'mannish' save for the hair.

File: 1467258690868.gif (3MB, 291x300px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 291x300px

>>6597600

>>6597596
Must be closer inland. I dare you to walk around like that in cali.

>>6597616

My girlfriend has legs like that and we live on the beach.

>>6597253
My hair's gonna get long you just wait and seee

It's already to my collarbones.

>>6597399
Fugging hell, I'm going to have to shave your legs too? This is getting to be too much work...

>>6597427
>she can't get thicc calves because she's a girl and she's destined to always have a girly figure no matter what

I love it.

>>6597626
Like i said in cali.
What ever dude just managed to get you guys to back him up. By all means. Go nuts. But you can show those legs to anyone and first thought will be those are man legs.

File: image.jpg (871KB, 3264x2448px) Image search: [Google]

871KB, 3264x2448px

>>6597616
I live in the East Coast.
I get shit for it a lot. What's your point?

>>6597630
Rest is taken care of

>>6597616
What do you think would happen? If you came up and started talking to shit to my girlfriend, or even a friend, because she had a bit of hair on her legs I would put you down

>>6597641

Yeah, on the beach in California... Lemme guess, San Diego? Because SD is hella conservative and they say Cali there.

Leg beards are groce

>>6597661
Less girls for you

>>6597644
LEL YOU WISH!!!! Ha ha ha ha hHahahaha!
Only way you could put me down would be with a gun.

>>6597643

I still think I could use my height to overpower you.
You're gonna get handcuffed and shaved and then I might even gloat on here about it with before and after pics.
And I'm gonna do your makeup.

>>6597667
Why do you think that's out of the question?

>>6597666
Quality over quantity m8

>>6597667

You have issues...

>>6597668

>tfw hairy legs because sensitive skin and get contact dermatitis when I shave
>tfw subby and into tall girls

I'm more into this idea than I should be.

>>6597677
Every girl I've met who doesn't give a shit about shaving has been pretty rad with a killer taste in music.

>>6597668
Hop a plane, I fucking dare you.
I defy you to find any sort of make up that'll actually work.

>>6597675
Its not. Just putting it out there. And what makes you think i wouldn't subdue you, possibly break your trigger finger and force you to fight me hand to hand. Like i don't get a kick out of doing that to people.

>>6597534
>>6597538
So defensive. Jus' cuz y'all too lazy to shave. I guess you probably don't get girls touching you very much so you don't need to care.

>>6597550
I guess it just signifies 2butch4me. I like my women with a small degree of femininity, and shaving really is the bare minimum. But for some unknown reason loads of lesbians don't seem to care. Different strokes I guess, or limited options.

But desu now I wanna join in with the forced feminisation party. You still have an attractive body and face.

File: Untitled2.png (1MB, 841x718px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 841x718px

>this triggers ""real lesbians""
top kek

>>6597688

I'm a fucking master, I already know what I'd do.
First thing would be my Marc Jacobs eyeliner and you'd look HELLA. PRETTY.

>>6597681

Are you butch enough for me to force-feminize you?

>>6597681
Still look like man legs.

>>6597696

Me and my girlfriend both rock leg hair.

>>6597702
That doesn't look like a woman's leg

>>6597705
>Are you butch enough for me to force-feminize you?

No I'm like andro femme ._.

File: 1432985221688.jpg (64KB, 529x470px) Image search: [Google]

64KB, 529x470px

OH GOD, S, I HAVENT SHAVED MY LEGS IN A COUPLE OF DAYS, A-AM I TURNING INTO A MAN!?

>>6597707
Hands can't have leg hair, anon

>>6597696
You're silly. I don't not shave because I'm lazy, I don't shave because it feels better physically, especially the pits, and just seems more 'me'. (And as an added bonus, triggering retards like you is pretty funny, and it makes me obviously gay to other girls)
Some lesbians don't mind because they're the cool ones who know 'feminity' is more than hair removal.

>>6597702
For real

>>6597717

Post body pics like the other anon is and we'll see.

>>6597721
No. I haven't shaved either. An i also have muscular legs. But they dont look like that.

>>6597721
You are now a cuntboi. Deal with it

Not in this debate but it's funny seeing people who are purportedly anti-SJW and anti-feminist get all feminist about body hair.

Embrace your inherent feminism and stop trying to be a hipster rebel, 4chan dykes.

(Btw I used to get sensitive legs until I started using EOS shaving cream. Its like $3 and smells nice.)

>>6597688
>Every girl I've met who doesn't give a shit about shaving has been pretty rad with a killer taste in music.
I can say the same about girls I know who shave their legs. The only difference is girls that shave their legs are attractive.

>>6597767
Only one poster here has ever claimed to be anti-feminist

>>6597702
How is that in any way sexy. It looks like a male leg.

>>6597779
That one is a male leg

>>6597767
I'm not on board with the SJW hissyfitting on 4chan. There are crazies out there, but I like reading about queer theory and shit.

>>6597770
More punk girls for me, then

Idk. Being raised female it was always considered a form of hygiene for me.

>>6597734
Funny, you all get so defensive about it so it really seems like it's you who's triggered. Honestly I couldn't care less what people do with their body hair. I'm just saying it isn't to my personal taste.

>Stop not liking things that I like

Also nearly all the girls I've met who don't shave have been unattractive in other ways too (overweight, poor style, poor hygiene etc) but maybe that's an unfortunate coincidence.

File: a742bd83f60d7a53ecff1d53aa826daf2634b3a3b9943e5a027b692ffb0592c3.jpg (63KB, 480x415px) Image search: [Google]

63KB, 480x415px

>>6597399
>>6597427
>>6597702
Further proof that lesgen is just cis men roleplaying as lesbians. Neither of these legs belong to genetic females.

>>6597789
>to be a punk girl you have to be a hairy shebeast
Collecting their menstrual blood too? That sounds alternative kek

>>6597808
what the fuck is this post trying to say

>>6597800
>not realizing that actual, real 100% homosexuals are a weird biological hybrid combination of male and female traits, mentally and physically.

>>6597817
This is possible to, i guess.

>>6597833

Hey S, you're bisexual.

>>6597794
I mean, you're calling me lazy.
The general not liking I'm more baffled at than triggered.

>>6597800
Mine do, proven as much as I can on a blue board

>>6597808
I technically do, I guess. I use a menstral cup.

>>6597842
Who are you voting for, Jerseynon?

>>6597858
Tough choice. Either I vote Dem and I don't want to, or I vote neither Dem or Reb and I'm basically throwing my vote away.

>>6597858
>voting in a country that hasn't had a presidential candidate who represents the average person since FDR

>>6597840
Lol! If you say so. You can call me what ever you want. Still not touching a dick though.

>>6597869
and FDR didn't even represent the people until he had no other choice

If you're the owner of the legs then I wasn't calling you lazy, just the other 2 because they clearly wanted to fight. That's why I quoted you separately.

>>6597869

Chris Christie represents the weight of average Americans, that's as close as you'll ever get.

Also
>wanting a President who is like the average American

The fuck

>>6597890
For
>>6597842

>>6597887

Only if you get trips.

Oh no, you were so close.

>>6597891
Heh! No average American has the money to run for president

>>6597891
>buying into the liberal meme of shitting on the average person for being uneducated while conservatives and liberals both work to make them stay that way

>>6597922
Preach!

>>6597907
We're talking about THE LEADER OF OUR COUNTRY AND DECISION MAKER OF LOTS OF IMPORTANT DECISIONS

The fuck would you want your next door neighbor in that position. The fuck would anyone want that. I want someone who was at least smart enough to get into a pretentious ivy league cuckfrat.

>>6597937
Why make it one person?

File: passaporte.png (464KB, 835x393px) Image search: [Google]

464KB, 835x393px

>>6597779
It's not supposed to be sexy, it's supposed to not fuck my shitty sensitive skin up. I also don't find hairy legs atractive, but females have body hair so I'm not a cunt about it.

>>6597922

>obama gonna give people free college
>libs and cons are the same gaize look at how unbiased i am

>blaming money for people being uneducated when open internet exists

>>6597947

EOS fucking shaving cream, try it.
And make sure you get a good razor like Dorco.

Urrrh, I have a phobia of body hair on both genders.

>>6597949
I'm not unbiased at all. I'm an actual leftist, liberals and conservatives are far to the right of me.

>thinking people have the time or energy to educate themselves in the majority of cases

spotted the NEET

>>6597937
Yeah. No.
I want someone who knows what its like to be the 99% not the ass holes who have no idea that human life is just that. A human life. And won't bullshit over how wars are run. There are a million and one ways to subdue people, death doesn't have to be one of them.

File: norman-.jpg (225KB, 1179x769px) Image search: [Google]

225KB, 1179x769px

>>6597947
>F on passport
>implying you can't change gender markers on passport
Congratulations, you changed your gender markers, my man. Pic related you

>>6597965
>liberals and conservatives are far to the right of me
yeah "okay". I'm so left I live on a commune, you fascist scum.

>>6597965

Well if it's a matter of not having time, then the flawed human concept of time and the slow mercy of inevitable death is to blame here (Lewcy).

Le passage of time is not a political issue.
Yet.
>tfw no Trump Time Machine 2016

>>6597999
Goddamnit fine.

Post more nicomaki.

>>6597947
Dude. No one cares. Stop worrying about impressing people you don't know. They look like man legs. Im just one person.

>>6597947

You posted videos of your face but you can't show us your qt passport photo? :(

File: 1467409808987.png (11KB, 566x330px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 566x330px

>>6598016

>>6598006
>tfw no lesbian commune that will welcome femmes that actually shave and wear makeup

>tfw will never get gangbanged by granola butches and made into the commune slut

>tfw will never take the prettiest one and force-feminize her and make her into my jr. slut

>>6597991
I don't think you can do that in my country. Oh well, what else can I do over here without getting banned? I can show you more of my cute thin legs.
>>6598031
>>6598035
Sorry, I'm not the nazi biker.
>>6597961
I've tried EOS before. Shit sucks, gave me bad rashes. Any other recommendation?

>>6598212
Enjoy your ban

>>6598212
glad that's over desu. It's not a porn thread.

>>6594291
Why are all lesbians always so salty? Poor girls just don't understand they just need a good dicking.

>>6597597
You're a piece of shit no matter your gender

>>6598266
>gender

File: kinda sad now.jpg (13KB, 432x289px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 432x289px

>>6598234

>>6598189
>what else can I do over here without getting banned?

Everything minus actual nips and pussy.
Please do, btw.

>>6598417
Yeah you won't get banned for a bikini.

File: nadzi gold.jpg (153KB, 636x637px) Image search: [Google]

153KB, 636x637px

>>6594240
Coincidence? I think not.

>>6598658

>L Anon

wow you're super homosexual for knowing about that

>Datalounge

that place is a cattier shithole(kek) than 4chan

>cgl

Isn't that like a lolita straightgirl fashion forum?

File: 1469122194500.jpg (94KB, 775x719px) Image search: [Google]

94KB, 775x719px

>>>***TRIGGER WARNING: FACTS***<<<

https://mainweb-v.musc.edu/vawprevention/lesbianrx/factsheet.shtml

Facts don't care about your feelings.

>>6594240
>Sub or Dom or Switch?
I am sub as hell but balance is important so I don't mind being more dominant sometimes. I guess that sort of makes me a switch. But I really do prefer getting roughed up and pushed around.
>Describe your ideal gf.
Super dominant, outgoing, and funny! I want someone who will force me out of my shy little shell. Also I like girls with shorter, colorful hair!
>Something that you haven't done that you would like to do
I'd like to try having toys used on me! I've never done that before!

>>6598688
>reposting the same study with laughable methodology

>>6598719
>ad hominem: the post

>>6598688

>thinking anyone is gonna click on your virus-ridden link

>>6598735
>Medical University of South Carolina
>Virus-ridden
Sure :^)

>>6598817
>study older than any poster in this thread

She's a dyke if her bottom teeth go out instead of in

File: 3b38eda301b3da7b7ad035205ea611c3.jpg (119KB, 1037x1500px) Image search: [Google]

119KB, 1037x1500px

>>6598688
tl;dr but straight men commit almost all violent crimes and gay men were vastly molested as children and std-ridden and don't get me started on trannies and bis. Don't know why people on /lgbt/ try to act like dykes are the only ones with shitty statistics. Everyone has their own flaws.

File: Go Fish-Guen and VS.jpg (89KB, 525x346px) Image search: [Google]

89KB, 525x346px

Have you guys seen Go Fish?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uH62jI2_vLE

I wanna find something like it, it's like the most 'lesbians for lesbians by lesbians' movie I've seen, but it's really kinda out there on its own, it's just a snapshot of the time they shot it in.

>>6598189
>Sorry, I'm not the nazi biker.
Nazi Biker, I like it.

>>6598977
Please post yuri of girls beating other girls.

>bitter men shitposting in lesbian threads
So what else is new

>>6599011
yeah cartoons don't cut it for me dear.

>>6597872
But you have a dick yourself so technically you've touched plenty.

Someones gonna fuck tomorrow ~ Ar

File: WalkingOutStripClub.png (728KB, 1024x768px) Image search: [Google]

728KB, 1024x768px

What retarded shit did you turn to to see lewd girls at a young age, lesgen?
This strip club from Tony Hawk's Underground just flashed back into my head after so many years.
Look at dem pixelated boobies dance. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dmq4TiIzYeI

Got my through the dark days before the L Word was syndicated on TV.

File: IMG_20160721_203611.jpg (1MB, 2592x1944px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 2592x1944px

hey lesgen , tomorrow I will have my hot gf in this hotel room to share an amazing weekend... can somebody give me advices about how to be a good sub ?

>>6599118
Tranny

>>6599074
what ever lets you sleep at night bro.

>>6596416
These days I only really fall for girls that I see on a regular basis. I used to have obsessive crushes that would last years even if I wasn't seeing the person that often, but yea guess I'm over that now.

Right now the only girl l somewhat have a crush on is my manager at work, and what I like most about her are her eyes which are a really light blue color that are kind of scary to look into at times. She's about 13 years older than me too. Mostly I just want her to hug me or something, it's not that intense of a crush yet as I've only known her for like a week.

File: big-boo.jpg (37KB, 650x352px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 650x352px

>>6599199
You could help me sleep at night, if ya know whadda mean...

>>6599321
Depends.
Do you have a vagina?

>>6599328
Mmmmhmmm.
Got a mouth?

>>6599090

Olivia Wilde and Mischa Barton on The OC.
Slutty chicks making out on 90's dating shows.
Also fanfiction. Lots and lots of fanfiction.

File: IMG_20160721_214109501.jpg (1MB, 1944x2592px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1944x2592px

well it's me again, and I haven't get an only one advice to be a good sub , so all of you poor little tf when no gf .. I'll fuck there tomorrow my gf ...

>>6599336
oh then its cool I'm down. I'm a butch dyke to though. you cool with that? and ill fly to you dear. I'm to old to waste time doddleling
I guess I do have to repeat myself, I love WOMEN, I think women are beautiful and I LIKE GOING DOWN ON THEM, as in I LIKE VAGINA. like ... A LOT

>>6599339
Post a tummie or something interesting and maybe you'll be deserving of advice.

>>6599339
Uuuuhh. good for you ?

>>6599339
Pretty hands. Also be receptive but don't sit there like a fucking log. It's not exactly a complicated science.

File: 4743-1409675260-19.jpg (44KB, 625x512px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 625x512px

>>6599356
You're a butch dyke but you wouldn't wanna fuck me because I don't shave

File: tumblr_ny1cp8ZbHP1ul80vfo1_1280.png (171KB, 1280x1280px) Image search: [Google]

171KB, 1280x1280px

>>6599376
haha rekt

>>6599376
Ew.
you're right.

But at the same time I really like meeting new people for what ever reason.

>>6599459
Post a pic, I gotta see how you do 'butch' with your ideology, dear.

>>6599494
nope sorry, never been noticed here, not about to fuck it up either. The name is so people who already know who I am can talk to me anonymously.

Today my mom and I were getting gas and my hs softball coach was at a pump beside us and we talked to him for like 15 minutes.

After we left though my mom was like "this is kind of weird to talk to you about but I always thought he was so sexy" and I was like uhhh but tried not to make it weird, like my mom isn't married there is nothing wrong with her wanting to bang him so I was like "well you should have said something because he definitely boned Amanda's mom and Tiffany's aunt" and she laughed a bit.

Then she was like "I'm glad we can talk about stuff like this" and looked over at me kind of expectantly so I was like yeahh and tried to think of someone I wanted to have sex with so I was like "I had a massive crush on Auntie (she is not my actual aunt or anything just what mom called her) Gretchen when I was like 13" and she fucking lost her shit.

She slammed on the breaks in the middle of the road and was like almost crying and like did she do anything to you and I'm no mom just I thought she was hot and she was like I'm going to call her and I'm like why?

It was nuts, I pretty much regret the whole conversation.

>>6599548
Babe, you fucked up. I have family friends in my life that got the aunt/uncle label, I know that life. You know that means your parents consider them family, doesn't matter that you're not blood related.
C'mon.

>>6599516
Ooooh, a shy one

>>6599548

Don't know if stupid mom or if the reason she brought up the topic was to fish info out of you and confirm her fears.

Eh.

It'll probably pass in a week or a month, but for now, enjoy gay hell.

>>6598088
I volunteer as gangbanging granola butch to your high femme.

>>6599548
sympathies. that sucks the big one. :/

>>6598587
[conspiracy intensifies]

>>6599548
>and she was like I'm going to call her
I'm laughing pretty hard rn

>tfw nobody in the discord group has clocked my voice yet

>>6599749
I cant even get in there

>>6599602
Do you want to be force-feminized?
Or just make me into your commune slut?

>>6599803
Gonna make you love dirty, hairy, hippy sex.
Gonna smoke a joint while you eat me out.

>>6599366
I'm sorry I don't think that I have a nice tummy to show I haven't been able to do exercise in the last months.
>>6599373
thanks, I love my hands, I want her to enjoy and to make her to feel too without lose the sub position ... but I think that maybe there's something I can do meanwhile she does her magic to turn her crazy.
>>6599369
Good for her too, I will post tomorrow more pics of the set up of the room, I want to surprise her and she lurks here too.

>>6599865
Equal opportunity tummy-viewer here.

>>6599835

.............Go on.

Though I'm still gonna wanna tie you up and shave you.

>>6599865
A tummy is a tummy. And that's a really nice hand, dear.

>>6599872
>>6599865

Yeah we don't mind puffy tummy.
Or you can post legs.

I can't get on the discord

>>6599899
Good luck getting any weed wacking done when you're having the orgasms after orgasms that come with being HAF.

>>6599941
I've never been high. Does it make sex better?

>>6599982
Are you kidding me? It's like a whole other thing.
For one, I can't get enough penetration, like you can't go fucking deep enough.
Every little thing makes you cum. The first time I got high was with a girl, we ended up fucking for more than an hour. Her breathing near my ear was enough to make me cum.
When I smoke, I just get wet. My clits one of the first places I feel it when it starts to hit me.
Making out and touching another person is unreal.

Not to be one of those 'dude weeeed XD!' people, but it's certainly something you should try if you haven't before.
Highly recommend.

I came in front of my friends once.
I was the only one smoking, sitting indian style on the ground with them. They got talking about some shit, I got thinking about shit, and nature took her course. Someone asked me why I was breathing weird, but that's it.
It's, uh, effective, to say the least.

File: ooh.jpg (255KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

255KB, 1280x720px

>>6599982
Keep your mind and body pure. Stay away from the ugliness that is drugginess.

>>6599914
Well describe the problem.

File: gettin gay married.jpg (520KB, 1194x900px) Image search: [Google]

520KB, 1194x900px

>>6600063
Are you even gold star?
>came in front of my friends once
That sounds terrible. What retard wants that.

>>6600065
I wish it were more unacceptable.
Everyone likes to drink, but drink a little too much and it's hard to get wet or finish the job sometimes.
Weed does the literal opposite.

If you don't like it, cool, but save the purity bullshit for /pol/

>>6600076
>Are you even gold star?
Yes

>That sounds terrible. What retard wants that.
I don't, but it points to how much the intensity's turned up.
I wasn't watching something, or touching myself, just wandered around in my mind until it happened.

It's another kind of fun to masturbate on it on purpose, though. Kinda of breaks the typical pattern.
There was a couple times I masturbated to time. Just thinking along the lines of 'holy shit, pyramids and dinosaurs and greeks and romans, they were all fucking real like I'm fucking real'. Just kind of wowed by the immensity of time enough to cum.

>>6600063
>I can't get enough penetration, like you can't go fucking deep enough.

Heh, and you think you're gonna be the one to dom me?
I'll get high with you, but you'll be butter in my arms, weed having loosened you into a pathetic subbie, needing my fingers so badly you'll let me shave you to get them.

File: I hope you get hit by a truck while high so you can feel every little blood vessel pop.jpg (110KB, 422x750px) Image search: [Google]

110KB, 422x750px

>>6600082
>>6600107

I got three words for you: Kill. Yourself. Scum.

File: 9088.jpg (56KB, 454x640px) Image search: [Google]

56KB, 454x640px

>>6600111

P.S I got tripdoubledubs which means this post is factual.

>>6600114
Killing myself with pleasure, sure. Feeling her body heat burn so hot against my skin, it's like we're literally melting together. Having a kiss so immeasurably soft, yet at the same time, the most urgent and pressing thing you could imagine.
Sorry you don't like fun.

>>6600111
Hun, if it's your first time, you're gonna be looking to me for guidance.

>>6600138
>Feeling her body heat burn so hot against my skin, it's like we're literally melting together. Having a kiss so immeasurably soft, yet at the same time, the most urgent and pressing thing you could imagine.

>only being able to achieve this with drugs

What are you some kind of lesbian noob.

>Hun, if it's your first time, you're gonna be looking to me for guidance.

Tripdoubledubs says otherwise. Look forward to wearing lots of tight dresses that I'm gonna make you feel sexy in.

>>6600184
>What are you some kind of lesbian noob.
Woah, didn't say that at all.
But, to follow that logic, are you about to argue with me that weed does not have an effect on how you perceive things? Do you think we just spend money and pretend for the lulz?

I fucking LOVE listening to music high, it's something else. There's a specific kind of thing I've nailed down that sounds better high. (And some stuff I like to stay away from.) I still listen to 99% of my music sober.

>Tripdoubledubs says otherwise. Look forward to wearing lots of tight dresses that I'm gonna make you feel sexy in.
If we're getting high together, I'm not wearing anything at all.

>>6600202
>If we're getting high together, I'm not wearing anything at all.

...O-okay.

I bet if I smoked weed I'd just get paranoid or something and start crying in your bathroom because I thought a slice of pizza was glaring at me.

>>6600223
Nah, I doubt it. People overblow the paranoid thing.
Worst that would happen, it kinda freaks you out, that new feeling for the first time. I'm confident I could keep you centered.
Just hold you by your hips and let your stare into my eyes until you calm down.

None of my friends want to hang out with me anymore because my girlfriend is a police officer.

>>6600321
Have you considered that your girlfriend is an anti-social bitch as well as a police officer?

>>6600249

So...no force feminization then?

>tfw you're just going to have to deal with body hair

Ugh, fine. I'll compromise by softly sneaking some eyeliner on you after you fall asleep.

File: kate.jpg (153KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

153KB, 1920x1080px

>>6600321
YOU GET TO FUCK A COP??????
TELL ME SHE'S CUFFED YOU!

Testing

>>6600332
She is a delight and they didn't mind her until we were talking about work stuff and she mentioned it.

>>6600338
Sometimes.

File: smokeforg.jpg (16KB, 225x225px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 225x225px

>>6600333
See, you're coming around to me already.
All part of my plan.

>>6600346
Maybe they're doing something illegal and don't want to deal with.
Maybe they have a serious moral issue with the police.

I mean, I wouldn't act that way, but I certainly understand.
But, go on about those cuffs...

>>6600350

But...but the eyeliner though...

You haven't won yet, hairy lesbian foe. You may have won the battle but...there will be more battles. And stuff.

>>6599749
We all know you're trans, lewcy, we're just being nice about it.

>>6600359
I know that a couple of them smoke pot and like, I dunno what else but I guess that is a thing.

I don't like choosing between the gf and friends so I much rather just force her on them.

We have bits of kinks mostly sub dom stuff. It's a lot of fun, the actual cuffs though are sorta just fetishy. I'm glad she doesn't mind the cop fetish stuff because I know that might be weird since it's a job and something she is rather proud of.

I cuff her sometimes too, she is a lot better shape than me and taller and I cuff her down so I can do things without her just like overpowering me and taking over the situation. It's sorta hot.

>>6600424
A girl I went to high school with, and have had a thing for forever, became a cop in town recently and I fucking PRAY she stops me for something some day.
I wanna fuck a cop so bad. That uniform, that authority....

>>6600435
>get turned on by female cops no matter what they look like

Does it qualify as a fetish at this level famalam?

Also would any lesgenbians here who work at a high level (heh as if) actually ever fuck their subordinates in any situation?

>>6600510
Sure I would, so long as it was clear to her that wasn't forcing her into it.

File: absolutely super disgusting.jpg (77KB, 463x637px) Image search: [Google]

77KB, 463x637px

>>6600510
>fucking subordinates
>fucking superiors
>fucking anybody you work with ever

>>6600544
I about to start ducking my coworker. Take that back SuperBORINGGirl.

>>6600544
>being a moralfag homosexual
>she will never have a hot office romance
>she will never be fucked on her bosses desk
>she will never fuck her qt secretary on her desk on her lunch break

You will lead a disappointing life.

File: 106907_d1184b1.jpg (121KB, 620x420px) Image search: [Google]

121KB, 620x420px

>>6600568
>>6600590
Nah senpai. I've done it before. It's a fucking disaster zone.

It's not a moralfag thing, it's a wow-this-will-actually-fuck-your-life-up thing.

>>6600599

You gonna shoot dat storytime at me, homegirl?

>>6600599
Doesn't have to be anything more than fuckin

File: melissa-benoist-blake-jenner-supergirl-promo-nyc-29.jpg (280KB, 979x1222px) Image search: [Google]

280KB, 979x1222px

supergirl

Lesbians and straight guys always seem to have a different taste in girls and I don't just mean dykes.

I dont exactly know what it is.

File: supergirl-1x03-ghosts-of-superman-s-past-beware-of-hank-henshaw-712422.gif (1MB, 500x210px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 500x210px

>>6600608
I dated a coworker and it was a complete fucking disaster zone. It's not a titillating story, really.

A huge part of it was that she sucked, but literally any relationship problem is massively amplified when you work together. You can't get space, you can't get your mind off it, you're stuck in this shitty claustrophobic work space.

Even non-relationship FWB situations have drama, and everything is worse when you work together, PLUS it ruins your work environment too. Don't do it famalam.

File: 1469026781616.jpg (139KB, 1023x682px) Image search: [Google]

139KB, 1023x682px

>tfw no one to sit across the lap of and curl against
I'm in one of those too-cuddly moods, and stuck between telling myself I'm better off alone and hugging a pillow while imagining tall qts to snuggle with. Help, lesgen.

>>6600825
where you at

i'll cuddle

File: 1451442328023.jpg (71KB, 604x531px) Image search: [Google]

71KB, 604x531px

>>6600862
I don't trust random anons on 4chan, but unfortunately Florida. No L O N D O N for me.

File: aMQKxgx_700b_v1.jpg (51KB, 248x219px) Image search: [Google]

51KB, 248x219px

>>6600872
you're never gonna get laid with that attitude, sugar

File: 1462324285349.png (681KB, 604x451px) Image search: [Google]

681KB, 604x451px

>>6600896
I just want cuddles senpai, I'm too afraid of people to do much more than that.

>>6600922
Hook up with someone else who is also afraid of people [likeme]

>>6600825
>>6600872
I love that cat

File: 1462779340093.jpg (13KB, 480x360px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 480x360px

Does anyone else feel uncomfortable in locker rooms or similar situations? I couldn't care less about being naked myself, but I'm just not comfortable being around naked women who assume that I'm straight. I swear I'm not leering or creeping at anyone else, but I can't help but feel guilty anyway. It's totally irrational. Very inconvenient at the gym.

I work out 3-4 times a week at my gym. Never felt self-conscious. I've caught some women staring at me (although it may be because of my tats) but I don't care. I'm there to work out and so are they.

>>6600435
I dated a cop for about a year. Great woman. She had a son who was only 7 years younger than me. She looked great in her uniform and those handcuffs came in handy.

>>6600510

Years ago I started dating (very briefly) my boss's niece, who was working for me for the summer. He already knew I was a lesbian. He had me and her to his house for dinner.

She went back to her boyfriend and her uncle talked to me about her probably just experimenting.

File: tumblr_ley4htc8aN1qg7r99o1_400.jpg (55KB, 400x537px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 400x537px

Hey it's >>6599865 again .. I'm going to pick my girl at the airport in some hours , what would you like to receive as gift after 3 hours flight??

This occasion is special since we are in a sad LDR...

>>6599872
>>6599902
>>6599909
I am pretty shy and .. hey look a nice fit tummy!

>>6600728
Yeah, but I work a shitty minimum wage job. I think it'll be fine.

What do you rugmunchers think about straight girls? I know a couple of lesbian girls and most of them are kind of butch. We get along just fine, but if we're out they can act kind of aggressively if they're shot down by a girl who says she's straight.

>>6602091
They sound retarded

>>6601509
I've been watching a pretty mediocre show on syfy because it has a homo cop and I think I'm becoming obsessed with the thought of the cop doming me. Help.

>>6602091
They sound like assholes who can't take rejection.

>>6598910
is seem that the most criminal sexual orientation are bisexuals.

both bisexual men and women seems are more delinquent, in non violent and violent crimes, lesbian have more non violent crimes compared to the rest.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27056045

>>6602146
I think they were referring to the actual numbers, not the rates

My friends don't like me very much and I'm really feeling it right now. I mean usually I just subject them to myself in small doses and ignore the slight hatred and not so subtle jabs about wanting me to leave and stuff.

>>6602163
Those don't sound like friends

Tfw sitting in the sun catching Pokemon in the park and the next day someone is stabbed to death about 7 metres from where you were sat.

Ohh local area, what are you like! What's the crime rate like around you guys?

>>6602199

Just when you're feeling like the coutnryside is too boring...

>>6602185
Well that is the best I've got, my guild kicked me out a few weeks ago and my work friend changed shifts.

I'm very close with my pets though.

>>6602279
Why'd you get kicked?

>>6602299
I was cooking all the food and they like suddenly realized after like 6 months that I could withdraw anything from the the G bank and I was just like yeah I have been for a while and they kicked me saying that I somehow changed my permissions without them knowing how.

File: 1467663178334.gif (524KB, 315x353px) Image search: [Google]

524KB, 315x353px

>>6602310

>>6602318
I don't know what that rabbit is implying.

I'm about to take my first ever pregnancy test- probably the least gay thing I've ever done in my life. I'm currently sitting in Starbucks chugging 500 venti drinks so that I can pee in a cup to receive my new medication. How's everyone's Friday going?

>>6602373

Why are you checking pregnancy anon?
Sounds like storytime.

>>6600321
Sorry. Cops suck

File: kaibalol.jpg (95KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

95KB, 640x480px

>tfw girlfriend (???) done with summer classes and back in town for the weekend
>tfw you'll be seeing her in a few hours
>tfw you're nervous and excited as fuck

I really hope I'm not as bad at sex as I think I am

>>6602426
Not an interesting story. I want to start taking Accutane for my skin and it can cause serious birth defects so I have to show a negative test before they'll let me take it.

On a totally different note, I've been walking up to strangers I see playing Pokemon Go in parks (less creepy than it sounds- I only started doing it because so many people were walking up to me in the same way and it's actually been a blast hunting and battling with all of them) and yesterday the girl I met was a super cool lesbian! We talked and caught Pokemon in the park together for an hour and a half until her battery ran out, it was a lot of fun. :D

>>6602485
you best have got them digits.

>>6602485

>accutane
Oh jeez, my ex was on that for a while. Didnt do an awful lot, but it helped her a bit.

And yeah, you better have got her number to play pokemon with her again famalam.

>>6602429
you probably are

File: thisdog.gif (233KB, 300x170px) Image search: [Google]

233KB, 300x170px

>>6602608
help me, lesgen. You're my only hope.

>>6602637
darling you are gonna die

File: dead.jpg (98KB, 960x720px) Image search: [Google]

98KB, 960x720px

>>6602693
Well, I mean we all are. Doesn't really fix my current problem, though.

It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten how to not suck at it.

>>6602511
>>6602555
I thought about it and I could tell she was considering it too but I ultimately didn't ask because there's a seven year age difference between us (21 and 28). I don't have my BA yet and she's about to finish grad school so it's a little much.

>>6602884

That kind of age difference past 20 isnt relaly that big a deal, but eh, if youre uncomfy youre uncomfy.

Still, she sounds like a cool friend to have, so you shouldve at least kept that door open.

>>6602897
I think in a few more years it won't much make as much difference but right now seven years is enough to put us in different stages in our lives. And I knoooow, I really regret not friending her on Facebook! For some reason I forgot that I could do something other than ask for her number. -_-

If the anon who encouraged me to go the Cubbyhole alone is hanging around then I just wanna thank you, I'm gonna go in the next few days and I wouldn't have done so without your suggestion.

>>6603119
Well if she was out and about catching pokemon at a certain time, chances are she might be at it again same time next week.
Could always go look.

Best result, you get a cool new friend
Worst, you catch some new pokes.

File: end my life.jpg (56KB, 640x514px) Image search: [Google]

56KB, 640x514px

>>6602743 again
>carefully plan qt outfit to wear
>decide how I'm going to do my makeup
>shower
>use special scrub to make skin extra smooth
>go to shave
>don't have glasses on and rushing so much I forgot my contacts
>grab wrong can of shaving cream
>it has some kind of weird aftershave or something in it
>it burns oh god it burns
>immediately have worst case of razor burn on my pubic bone
>ice it
>no avail
>she's going to think I have the herp
>I'm never going to get laid

suicide when