Is anyone else mentally damaged from being trans and all?

>>6584265
yes

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Its weird.

Im ftm and been out and on T for a year. I mostly hate how i look. I feel awkward and ugly a lot though i pass. I think i looked really pretty as a girl when i look back on it.

Yet even as a weird feminine manlet with acne im much more comfortable living as a man. I looked better and was "normal" as a girl. But im much more comfortable now. And my only regret is not being able to transition sooner.

>>6584265
I think I may suffer lifelong trust and control issues as a consequence of having to maintain this secret for so long.

I find myself being so sparing and measured with personal information, even in relationships where I should be confident it's unnecessary.

>>6584317
Hey, it's pre-transition me!

Seriously though, that sucks. I hope at least some of that can be improved.

>>6584317
>I stay in bed all day when I can
same senpai but i'm a lazy piece of shit who loves to sleep

>>6584265
ya, intimacy is super scary to me
i also feel like that my life has no value

>>6584265
>super high insecurity thanks to dysphoria and society
>residual BDD symptoms after 5 years of HRT because of the insane levels of scrutiny placed on my body
>trust issues with cis people because the majority of them are shit to trans people
>rarely speak to my dad because he's always calling me sir and talks to me like a man
>resent my family because they all still treat me like a man despite them knowing I'm trans for the last 6 years
>avoid sex because my dick makes me hate myself
>orgasms are unsatisfying and leave me depressed instead of relieved
>loneliness
>don't have a job and just stay inside all day
>depressed but don't wanna see a shrink because they're all condescending fucks who lie to you
>act normal and happy around my family and friends because i don't want to be a burden to them
>misanthropic

It's pretty lame desu. Still not gonna kill myself tho cause fuck being a statistic.

I've got OCD to boot, and my intrusive thoughts entered a relationship with my dysphoria around 15 or more years back. As with all intrusive thoughts, though, you get used to them and learn to differentiate them from your "own, actual" thoughts.

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>>6584951
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem :)) Think of all your loved ones who will miss you :))) Suicide is an irrational, selfish act :) What you really want is to get better, not to die :D

>>6584951
There are good shrinks but you have to be willing to shop around, which is tough when you're depressed.

>>6585098
Fuck.

>>6585098

i'm not even depressed but this made me want to kill myself

>>6585098
delete this

Kys you creepy faggot

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>>6586303
who???

>>6585098
Well yeah, obviously. Wouldn't say that to someone who's suicidal tho. It'll only upset them and make them want to actually go through with it more.

>>6584336
iktf so much you don't even realize my man

except in my case it's
>Im mtf and been out and on E for a year. I mostly hate how i look. I feel awkward and ugly a lot though i pass ... sometimes. I think i looked really handsome as a boy when i look back on it.

>Yet even as a weird masculine lanklet with conetits im much more comfortable living as a .""""woman."""" I looked better and was "normal" as a boy. But im much more comfortable now. And my only regret is not being able to transition sooner.

this
>And my only regret is not being able to transition sooner.
>And my only regret is not being able to transition sooner.