Regrets

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Cont.
> one day even run into a girl he hang out with a lot who blurted out and asked me if i would date him
>I immediately turned red in the face and walked away
>anyways to cut it short we hung out alone a few times after that all the way up until the end if the year (my last year of hs)
>But being the massively awkward idiot I am I didn't say anything or ask him out at all

I was completely fine with being alone the rest of my life until I met him, and not I just can't talk to him because of how much of a pussy I am, he still likes all my social media and it hasn't been that long since the end of the year but I'm still to nervous to do it and probably never will. He is perfect in every way and I didn't respond to his moves. How much of a hopeless idiot am I

What about you guys?

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>>6572436
coming to /lgbt/, realizing that i really, REALLY like transgirls, and then proceeding to fuck up everything for the ones i meet in real life. so i'm sorry.

When I was 14 I got into a dirt bike accident. I broke my right clavicle and radius and my left ulna and humerus. I couldn't use ever of my arms. My dad had to do everything for me. Get me dressed, feed me, pull my pants down, wipe my butt. He was bathing me and I was hard as a mother fucking rock. Super embarrassing but he said it was okay. I went from jerking off 1 or 2 times a day to nothing. Well, being hard as a rock, my dad took pity on me and asked if I wanted him to take care of it. I agreed and he jerked me off. he continued to do this until I got out of my casts. I asked him if he would still do it but he told me it would be better if I started doing it myself.

Anyway, during that time I starting thinking about men and I stopped having crushes on the girls at school. Slowly I went for thinking I might be bi to knowing I am gay.

I regret letting my dad jerk me off because although I believe that you are born gay in the back of my mind I still wonder, if he didn't do that would I be straight?

>bump

Because no sleep

My only regret is not transitioning sooner.

>>6572436
Coming out to myself as trans and acknowledging I want to transition. I was a totally fake person before and not at all true to myself, but at least I was functional and not-suicidal.

Not wrapping the umbilical cord around my little throat and just ending it right then and there.

>>6573036
>tfw tried that
>tfw stopped breathing for like 5-6 minutes
>tfw still survived but now brain damaged as well as an uggo tranny

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>>6572436
last year I came out to my friends and I regret it.
I became more and more anxious and we're now distant.

being born a tranny/agp faggot


why couldn't i have died in the womb

I regret living with fucking autism of all things.
I wish I could carve that part out of my brain and at least function somewhat like a human being.

>>6573036
That happened with me. Almost worked but they cut me out.

not realizing I like dick until 20

not realizing I'm trans until 21 almost 22

I used to think I was self aware :(

I regret repressing being trans for 6 years after I figured it out. I don't think about it too often though, too busy focusing on making the future better with my transition.

>>6572440

It may sound like weird advice, but stop being nervous. Being nervous is stupid, it's not like your life is on the line. It sounds like you may have a bit of social anxiety, but regardless, talk to him like a friend and get comfortable. Once you're close enough again he may make some more moves on you, and you should respond accordingly.

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everything i've done since i was 12

>>6574114
After typing that out I decided that I'm going to message him once I get back from vacation, I just hope I can follow thru

>>6573036
I tried killing myself and my mom at the same time by being too big to come out. They had to cut me out instead.

I regret not coming out as trans a decade ago. Now I'm doomed to be a hon.

The first penis I touched and sucked was my cousin's, when we were young teenagers. I don't really regret it but not doing it would've been nice too. We barely see each other and never talk about it, but the awkwardness is sure there.

>>6574406

Why not now?

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>>6574406
>waiting
This is how you stay alone forever.

>>6582587
>>6582746
How should I even start the convo?

Not being honest with myself about liking guys until I was 53. Never acted on my curiosity when I was younger (although since it was the start of AIDS I'd probably be dead by now).

>>6577187
This is my story to a T, as told by my cousin. I always wondered if he regretted it, but since the two of us aren't close its never really been something to come up. Then again, how would you even bring that up? "Hey cus, remember that time we sucked each other on the tent? How did you feel over it?"

Yeah, just going to leave it be and enjoy my bisexuality. Besides, he's married so no idea if he even thinks on it.

As for me, I regret focusing on men more then women growing up. I justified it by saying that men were easier (they were), but now my girlfriend is a little intimidated by the fact that I've slept with more guys then she has.

i regret having open privacy settings on my social media accounts while at university, because although it meant it was easier to find and talk to people i'd met while drunk, it allowed shitty, no life, snooping distant relatives to spy on my stuff just by googling my name, see i was a dress wearing girly faggot who liked to kiss butch dykes, and out me as trans to various members of my family

i regret coming out to my 96 year old grandmother last of all my family considering her response was 'dearie, you always seemed like a little girl instead of a little boy.' and that was that, instead of the ruthless grilling i got from other people. seriously, shes the best.

i regret putting my transition off for two years because i was worried it would push my mother over the edge, she was clinically depressed at the time. wasn't aware that her worrying about my obvious self hatred was a contributing factor to her depression.

i regret calling my endo a faggot when he said i looked nice as a knee jerk reaction when guys hit on me

i regret taking T shots for years because my old doctor said it would make me normal and help fix my hypogonadism caused by being hormonally broken. i didn't know estrogen or transitioning was a thing because i was a dumb idiot teen

i regret everything sexual i did pretransition because it felt like i was being raped. i regret not telling people i was raped in my teens because the guy which did it ended up in jail 10 years later for domestic violence and spousal rape and maybe i could have prevented that

i regret making friends with rural country cis gay men who think i'm some sort of ultimate drag queen

i regret making friends with fat women who watch RuPaul

i regret making friends with queers, genderqueers and non-binaries because their politics are as dangerous to trans healthcare issues and policies as TERFs are, and ignorance would have been sweeter

>>6584565
>i regret making friends with queers, genderqueers and non-binaries because their politics are as dangerous to trans healthcare issues and policies as TERFs are, and ignorance would have been sweeter
can you explain further?

>>6584577
demedicalising trans issues, decrying passing, etc causes many people to think 'why should health insurance companies cover something that is clearly just a social issue'- it's the idea if we just dismantle gender roles and deconstruct gender, that way there will be no need for passing, for surgery, for hormones, and everyone will feel ok. you can see it becoming more common with people saying 'everyone can be trans/you don't need to transition to be trans/you don't need dysphoria to be trans'. its the attacking the term 'transsexual', people using the terms 'trans medicalists' or 'truscum' that is becoming more aggressive. it is more overt among rad-queers, but certain news sources and papers seem to have this as an undercurrent. it chimes in with the body positivity movement that every body is perfect, and swing around to join in with TERFs that trans women are objectifying cis women's bodies, and entrenching gender roles.

its ugly and scary honestly

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>>6584438

>>6584603
>its ugly and scary honestly
why?

legit question.

>>6585797
Why it's ugly and scary that real transpeople gets invalidated, might lose legal rights, and might lose financial aid from insurance companies? Snow flakes are batshit and makes us all look batshit.

Not realising I was more gay than bi and now I'm 24 and my twink are pretty much over. Also getting my haircut fuck

>>6572436
>>6572440
Almost that exact situation happened to me, right down to the brown hair. Except I didn't realize I was homo at the time and it wasn't until years later that I realized he was probably flirting with me a lot.

The "fine with being alone the rest of my life until I met him" also happened to me, but in a separate situation. It was some random online guy that caused it for me as pathetic as that sounds. Now I feel like shit because I've still never had a bf.

>>6572440
If not for yourself, do it for him.

>>6583593
"Hey yo how you been"

>>6572436

Let's see here, pretty sure I've got a long list of them:
-Not being aborted
-Being born
-Taking my mother seriously when she said my brothers and I weren't allowed to care for our appearances much because we are boys
-Not getting hit by that car when I crossed the street unsupervised for the first time
-Coming up with some bullshit story about wanting to play football on the spot so my parents wouldn't think there was something wrong with me when they asked my brothers and I what sports we wanted to play
-Wandering away from my parents when my family went shopping and getting in trouble for it every time
-Feeling so bad the last time that happened
-Not asking my mother to let me try her nail polish
-Not doing something that would have gotten me caught in a good way
-Giving in when my parents would take me to cut my hair
-Avoiding having friends
-Being pessimistic
-Being misanthropic
-Being self-defeating
-Hurting my brother when we played with pipes
-Not dying from the respiratory issue I was hospitalized for
-Not telling my mother I wanted to be a girl instead of keeping it to myself in case she would get mad
-Not remembering the name she would have given me if she thought I was a girl
-Trying to make money as a minor through some ill-conceived online business venture
-Letting that scare me out of using the internet for years
-Being so afraid of being accused of plagiarism or copyright infringement I stayed away from computers even longer
-Having a stick up my ass and judging everyone else for not doing everything the right way
-Stopping my brother from watching a documentary on a trans woman
-Being around when my dad caught my brother watching it later and he reacted with no chill
-Taking him so seriously I tried to deny being transgender to myself and thought of them as mentally ill

>>6572436
>>6596167

-Reading articles about trans people and changing the pronoun in my head to the person's birth sex (e.g. for Jazz Jennings, I would change she to he)
-Not reading stuff that would help me out sooner
-Not having the insight to analyze the stuff I did read about trans people to understand what it means for me
-Not going on 4chan despite my antivirus telling me it was unsafe
-Not taking better care of myself and my appearance
-Not asking for help when I needed it
-Letting my little cousin fall on her head so many times
-Hurting my other little brother
-Lending that kid $2
-Letting dumb shit like PE fuck with my GPA
-Never once dressing as a girl before puberty fucked me
-Trying to ignore things that made me uncomfortable, like the things I would feel around guys
-Not telling my father to go fuck himself all those many times
-Caring what was proper
-Developing some kind of martyr complex
-Making some unrealistic college choices (all of them were out-of-state since I wanted to get away from my parents, meanwhile I had no relevant skills that would let me live on my own)
-Not telling the girls that liked me straight out I wasn't interested

Even this isn't an exhaustive list. But it's a good starting point for me.

>>6572491

Why didn't your mother do it?

>>6573036

I was a breech birth (bottom towards the vagina, instead of the head) and was born via c-section because of that. The risk of a breech birth is brain damage from compression of the umbilical cord once the lower body is out but the head is still inside. The funny thing is I was in the correct position the week before.

>>6574041

I used to think I was smart and lucky. Fully accepting being trans at 20 has disabused me of either notion.

>>6574864

Did your mother have diabetes at the time she was pregnant with you?

>>6596175
>Letting my little cousin fall on her head so many times
On purpose? How bad?
How bad did you hurt your brothers?

>>6572440
Why don't you litterly at this second just send him a message to hang out... like, right fucking now. Come on dude

>>6572440
DON'T YOU FUCKING DO WHAT I DID

FUCKING DO IT AND LIVE WHAT I MISSED

>>6597694

>On purpose? How bad?

No, I loved playing with her. The problem is her mother's bed (my aunt lived with us) was much higher off the ground than a normal queen sized bed (she stacked two or three mattresses on top of each other). There weren't even any extra pillows to put on the edge of the bed. She would just roll her upper body over the edge of the bed so many times, and I have shit reaction times. The floor was ceramic tile with a concrete foundation, so it was pretty hard. Even though it wasn't wholly my fault, I still feel bad about it. I'm not sure how bad it was, since she's never had to go to the hospital for it. I've wondered if it's left her with some cognitive impairment for years, but as far as I know, she's a normal 11 year old girl.

>How bad did you hurt your brothers?

I chipped a front tooth for both of them. The first one I took off a larger bit, I'm not even sure when or how I did it. Only that the pipe was somehow involved. I feel guilty about that because he must have felt self-conscious about it for a long time. He got it fixed when he got his braces, but I'm not sure if he still worries about it. Even now, I'm crying thinking about that.

>>6572436
>What do you regret most /lgbt/?

being born

>>6597694
>>6598149

The chip with the second brother was fortunately very small, and not that noticeable. That occurred several years after the first. I was trying to pull him out from between a bed and a mattress he was stuck between (the mattress was on the floor, squeezing him up against the frame). So he told me to let go of his arm because it hurt, and I'm not quite sure whether his wrist just slipped out of my hand or I let go because of how quick it happened, but since he was resisting me, his head flew forward, towards the same ceramic and concrete floor I mentioned before, and chipped his tooth. I couldn't believe I had done the same damn thing again. I still feel bad when I see it. I used to be more violent when I was much younger (<9). The second brother I talked about, when I would get really angry with him, I would either strangle him (for 5-10 seconds or so, never until he passed out) or hit his head repeatedly. I knew I might be affecting his brain badly at the time, unfortunately, the rage would really get to me and I wouldn't think about it until after I had calmed down. He has migraines now, but the onset time between when I stopped hurting him like that and when he got his first migraine was somewhere from 7 to 11 years, so I'm not sure if I am the cause. It also lined up with adolescence, and I'm told it's normal for some people to start having migraines when they start adolescence. His overall IQ's 105-107 I think it was, with some 11X in some sections of the IQ test and 9X in other portions. The reason he was assessed was because his high school wondered if he might have special needs. I think I did the same with the first brother, but I don't remember much about it, so maybe he started fighting back or he avoided getting in my way. I think the latter is more likely.

>>6598164
you a bully anon?

>>6572436
Caring about what my friends thought of me.
Then abandoning me was the best thing possible as if gave me to boost to get my shit together and find people who actually care

>>6598211

I was bullied in kindergarten or first grade and again in 9th grade. I never bullied anyone at school or sexually abused anyone (I wasn't sexually abused either). I remember reading people who are bullied and bully others end up less successful than either pure bullies or pure victims, which would seem to fit my experience. Are you basing the bully thing off just me hitting and strangling my younger brother? The rest was all accidents.

The strange thing is I was empathetic to things like inanimate objects, and I did always feel bad after I hurt my younger brother.

>>6598362
Yes after your very first posts I was super angry because I thought you did it on purpose, but you seem like a really nice person. Don't kill yourself. It's good you're alive.

>empathetic to things like inanimate objects
kek me too. I always got angry when someone hit a tree or something. Still can't kill flies and spiders.

This is OP, I made the mistake of texting him a while ago and then when he asked who it was and I told him he stopped answering

>>6599298
Did he not have your number? How did you have his?

>>6599334
It was on instagram, its the only social media he has, he likes all my stuff not long after I post it, and he's following me

>>6599354
>normie shit
I suddenly lost all interest in you two getting together.

>>6584565
>>6584603

You have a beautiful mind.

>>6599381
It's the only thing he you cunt, he still hasn't responded and now I'm pissed

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>>6599354

Tell him how he made you feel just to get it off your chest.

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>>6600410
Still hasn't answered, but as sad and mad as I am about the whole thing, I guess knowing is a lot healthier than forever wondering what would of happened

>>6584603
thanks for the post so i can have legitimate reason to hate + ;^)

I'll keep it short, these are my top few regrets..

> Not being out to my family at age 28, at this point it is more difficult than it has ever been.

> Spending 3 years of my early 20s in love with someone who used me, turned my friends against me and kept stringing me along with the allure of a relationship while he was sleeping with multiple guys behind my back.

> There are two guys who I love unconditionally that I had a chance with but screwed it up or didn't act fast enough, one will probably never speak to me again and the other has a boyfriend but is also my best friend.

> Lastly, I regret not taking advantage of how twinky and cute I was in highschool and hooking up more, I could have had a lot more sex back then and I should have taken advantage of it (with protection).

>>6601015
Not having degenerate casual sex should not be a regret. It should be something you're proud of. At the very least, it makes you a far better person than those who do have casual sex.