>be me >be 20, cis male, bisexual but only interested in

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>be me
>be 20, cis male, bisexual but only interested in dating girls
>I guess I can just call that heteroromantic
>polyamorous
>moderate-severe hard of hearing, autistic
>plenty of other fun mental and physical handicaps
>asthma, anxiety, depression, etc
>had an abusive dad and a hard life overall
>but nobody wants to listen to my shit, "nobody cares anon, you're a loser"
>also poor
>was huge loser in school because sperg, couldn't handle college
>on top of that, total beta male and unattractive
>but still white and cis male
>liberal from New England, moved to the south because broke
>republican hicks everywhere, can't understand a word they're saying
>when I can understand them, they all say dumb shit anyways
>just spouting on and on about Trump or making racist comments
>too awkward and unable to communicate to make new friends in person
>friends that wouldn't pity me, friends that I'd actually enjoy hanging out with
>there's nowhere to meet people there irl anyways
>people with a fucking brain, I mean
>also not marginalized or interesting enough to make friends online and hold their interest
>the friends I have irl live 800 miles from me now, they're hardly online
>they're also hardly available when I visit irl
>can't be honest with them about myself because they're mostly /b/tard types
>the friends I have online I think only talk to me because they're friends with my gf
>they probably also pity the shit out of me
>just want to be happy
>not marginalized or disabled enough to get help or meet internet friends
>but marginalized and disabled enough, and in the right, invisible ways, that I have a very hard time
>I hate my life, I hate myself, I just want to be happy