/acegen/ - "Late Bloomer" edition

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I've personally been called "confused" and a "late bloomer" when I hint at my sexuality to my family members.

What happened to the last thread?

>>6439420
idk, I think it 404'd?

Posted this right before the last thread 404'd. Thought some of you might like to read a summary of my asexual upbringing. Also a bit curious of what others think.

>be me in 8th grade
>Notice I don't have the same interest in girls that my friends do
>But I still like girls
>Right?
>I couldn't be gay, could I

>Early high school thought I was closeted gay
>Middle high school realize I like guys and girls the same; maybe I'm bi
>Towards end of high school think I'm closeted bi
>Feeling okay with it. Not great but not bad

>College time!
>Meet qt3.14 ace girl who opens my world
>After some experimenting and god knows how many intellectual conversations with her we come to the conclusion I may be ace
>Abro to be exact (asexual biromantic)
>Feel bad
>Kinda liked bi because that means more options
>Fourth year move to Cali (from Oregon)
>Miss her but start doing some soul searching on my own
>Come to terms with it
>Not that bad
>Realize I define the label not the other way around

>A year after graduating and starting to work again.
>Come out to my two best friends (friends since we were kids; they are basically my only family)
>Super understanding
>One comes out to me later and says he's been hiding that he's bi
>We're super accepting of each other
>He's been happy with his girlfriend for like 3 years and I want to just stay friends
>One night stay at his house and we sleep together (he just had 1 bed)
>Better than all the experimenting I've done before and
>All we did was cuddle :)

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>>6439844
>five hours with one reply
>right before

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Next gen should be Sociopath Edition. Or Religious Edition.

>>6439956
If you can think of some good questions, I'll do it. Couldn't think of anything for religion.

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>Age 13-16: hypersexual constantly masturbating (ie normal puberty)
>Age 17-21: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, no attraction whatsoever.

I´ve always been reluctant to label myself as asexual even though it accurately describes my day to day attraction because of the period 13-16 when i was "normal". Is it worth clinging onto those years or should i give it up and try to come to terms with asex?

>>6440075
Sexuality can be fluid so you're probably just asexual. Plus masturbating doesn't mean "not asexual". That just means you have a libido. Lots of asexual people masturbate. It's not like we're priests or have ED or something.

>>6440131
I have to admit, I´ve always had trouble understanding the libido =/= sexual attraction thing. When people masturbate they think of having sex or at least something related to a person no? (unless you´re into skyscrapers or something) which implies sexual attraction, no? or am i missing something here?

>>6440187
For me personally, I mostly masturbated to the idea of something or emotions that are involved around sex. I never actually imagine myself doing something with someone. It just feels so uncomfortable in my brain.

Also, a lot of aces (I'm going to write ace for "asexual" for now because fuck typing) don't really think about having sex.

>>6440187
>When people masturbate they think of having sex or at least something related to a person no?
Nope. When I masturbate, it's purely focused on the sensation.

I wank out of force of habit.

I have problems sleeping and I read somewhere that a good wank can help you sleep. I usually need to have something to look at/read because I can't maintain a fantasy without the sexual part fading out.

How did I know I was Ace? Well, after one relationship that went on for a year and a men's mentoring camp where I slept near a guy that I was mates with, I thought long and hard about things and realized that I had all these justifications in place as to why I didn't crave sex the way norms seem to. I didn't want to get married until gays could get married, I wasn't willing to push the boundaries of my relationship with my ex because I didn't want to jepordize the relationship and I didn't want to have kids that were genetically my own because I have ASD and I didn't want to go through the same hell I put my parents through.

>>6440224
>>6440455

oh I see. well now im something more confused, because when i did used to masturbate, it was definitely about having sex with a person, which makes me think that I´m not ace.

>>6440925
let me say it again: SEXUALITY CAN BE FLUID, YOU FUCK.

>>6440931

>>YOU FUCK

We kinda don't. Some of us might, but generally, we don't go for the bump-and-grind gymnastics

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>>6440950
"fuck" was an insult in noun form, not the verb.

>>6440931
haha, yeah i know. its the sort of thing i keep on trying to tell myself but it never seems to get through my thick skull.
thanks for listening :)

>>6439956
> Sociopath Edition.

This

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>try to think of lewd things
>immediately get intrusive thoughts of mundane stuff like tax returns or where to hang a picture or whether that movie finished torrenting
A+

>>6439420
Said pruned or deleted before i came here

i've been met with "that's actually very surprising".

the guy was probably upset i had sex with his girlfriend before they were dating, the day they first met.

>>6439844
>>All we did was cuddle :)

gosh this is sweet anon

>>6440925

i masturbate a lot. it's physical stimulation that your body encourages you to do.

sexual attraction to me means "how much a person would like to sleep with another specific person". and i never want to sleep with anyone in particular. for a long time before i realized i was ace, i was legitimately impressed in people who had one night stands, not because they were getting laid but because it seemed to me that one had to be very sure of themselves and what they want in order to determine one specific person who is worth spending the night with.

>>6441090
>Get intrusive thoughts of... whether that movie finished torrenting
I know that feel

>>6441688
Story time?

>>6441705
I don't think it's so much wanting to sleep with someone as it is wanting to have sex with them. I like to sleep with people strictly for cuddles and the intimacy of being close. I don't want nor do I think about actually having sex with them.

>>6441895

ah yeah, i meant sleep with as a euphemism for sex, sorry for the confusion.
also there's no story really :S

>>6441901
All good. I really want the next general to be story time edition. My favorite part of this board is reading stories in the different generals. Sadly this one is usually lacking there tho.

>>6441904

maybe asexuality just doesn't make for good stories? :(
idk i've had some encounters with the normie world as an asexual, but they are usually pretty boring. or maybe i'm just resistent to drama.

>>6441914
Maybe. I know my parents would react very bad if I told them I was anything but straight. They are the kind of people that think gays have a choice. My father took me to a strip bar for my 21st and that was quite the experience. I might green text later. Drinks were alright and food was shit.

>>6441951

please do, that sounds real horrible.
did your father do the "look" people do after showing a youtube video, to confirm that you're laughing? except he did it to confirm your arousal?

also is it common to take offspring to strip clubs?

>>6441963
He did a look of sorts. He would comment on the dancers and expected me to as well. It was a lot like when my friends thought I was straight and we would go to the mall they would make comments about girls and if you don't they single you out and suspect. I don't think it's common but he's an asshole sooo..

>>6442036

man, what country do you live in?
in sweden we don't have to do any of that to fit in, so i'm able to fly under the radar (apart from gay people thinking i'm straight and straight people thinking i'm gay).

>>6441914
I mostly just get drama.

I had a couple guys who were personally offended when I came out them. I'd try to tell them that I wasn't really interested in dating anyone because I was asexual and they'd flip

"You're only saying that because you don't want to date me!" Yeah, you and everyone else. Stop being so dramatic.

>>6442769
Interesting, that's the opposite of how most people are. Most people are desperate to find a reason why they aren't personally responsible for their failings. "Oh, I never had a chance, you were taken/the wrong orientation/my cousin/whatever."

>>6443232
No, they would never say that they never had a chance.

They would say
>you were ugly anyway
>a prude
>just lying
>stupid

What OP said falls perfectly into the usual butthurt talk.

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For whatever reason, I'm worried about how my exes would react if they figured out I'm asexual. I've had sexual experiences with them back when I identified as bi, and they all sucked (at least on my end.)

I would expect either "oh, so you did think I was ugly" or "you're just compensating for how terrible you are in bed." Only reason I'm worried is that at least one of them is petty as hell and might start rumors.

>>6443781
you're not asexual

>>6443826
I'm not sexually attracted to anyone, and the only reason I've had sexual encounters with my exes was because of some obligation I gave to myself to please them. Even then, I was only able to force a boner once.

What the hell is that?

>>6443826
>if you have had sex before figuring out your sexuality, you're not asexual
>if you have had sex with the opposite sex before figuring out your sexuality, you're not gay
okay

>>6443781
>I would expect "oh, so you did think I was ugly"

oh jesus christ this.
fuck people and their need to make sex about them when they don't even know care or think about sex that much.

>>6444827
I think it's because they would believe that they somehow turned them ace.

>taking new antidepressants
>now struggling to obtain orgasms
>masturbation has now dwindled to little to none
At least people can't say I'm not ace because I masturbate now.

>>6446387
>i never have had a libido
>I never have had an orgasm
How do I know that I don't just have a hormonal problem or something? Bleh. I wish that I would have had a libido for at least some period of time so I could know 100% I'm not attracted to either gender.

>>6446891
If you're worried, just get them checked. I was like this even before the medication.

>>6443232
>my cousin

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>>6439309
how do I date an asexual?

>>6448835
Communication is key

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>>6448856
Yeah but she called me a full on stalker after a couple of months

>>6448860
Then you didn't communicate. You're fucked.

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>>6448931
i know...
I shouldnt have asked those questions

>>6449042
What happened anon? Let's talk about it.

>>6449196
Let me guess before OP does
>OP sees grill
>OP wants to develop relationship
>grill becomes uncomfortable
>OP continues
>grill denies him
>OP continues
>grill calls him a stalker

>>6449217
Not really...
>>6449196
>be me
>be interested in gril
>start chatting
>asking basic info like birthday, nationality, what hospital she was born in
>she never answered throughly
>asked her orientation
>she said asexual
>fuckme.jpeg
>made a joke that she was a plant
Honestly I thought that would be the cause of why she said that but I never really understood why

>>6449668
>what hospital she was born in
Anon, why do you need THAT info?

>>6449668
I think I know why anon...

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>>6449668
>ask for information that a stranger shouldn't be asking for
>do the typical "hurr durr ur a plant" joke

>>6450772
except I recognize asexuality as a real orientation and I apologized for it quickly, but she found it funny so +1?
also I knew her for a couple of years so I thought she would be cool to open up.

>>6450868
No one sane breaks the ice with questions like that. When did she call you a stalker?

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>>6449668
>asking basic info like birthday, nationality, what hospital she was born in

>>6451031
about last year and didn't answer my messages afterwards
>>6451054
i know...

>>6451625
So why did you ask her questions like that anyway?

>>6451631
I will admit I was sorta drunk throughout so some of the questions were serious and others were...well not

>>6451644
Give us the details pls

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>>6451655
okay so one of them if I recalled was
>where were you born?
>united states
>I didn't mean the country lol, where were you born? like state wise or city or hospital?
>DWAI
>Are you hiding something from me?
then this later happened
>what's your orientation?
>romantically or sexually?
>either is fine
>asexual
>so like the plant?
>yes i'm a potato
>you caught me
>I was joking! sorry if it offended you
>I know it's funny and all but you get tired of the same joke the first 100 times ya know?
>well mine would be sexual
>delusional
>huh?
>nothing
that's like 1/28 of what happened

>>6451685
>Are you hiding something from me?

>I know it's funny and all but you get tired of the same joke the first 100 times ya know?

>delusional
>huh?
'>nothing

wow, how did you not miss her lack of interest?

>>6451715
I didn't understand what DWAI means
I chugged 2 bottles of cheap beer half past noon, i'd miss a lot...
the second one was this
>are you arabic?
>no why?
>you look like it
>well you look mexican but does it make you mexican? anyways i'm 3/4 white and two arabs are white but i'm not arabic
>you don't really look white
>sadly
>you're sure you're not a terrorist?
>you're sure you've lost your virginity by now?
>terrorist
>chingar(never got what that ment)
>this is fun
>you'd know what else is fun anon?
>what?
>jumping the border
later
>are you religious anon?
>nope atheist
>thought all mexicans were catholic

>>6451750
Maybe you try being gay

>>6448835
Food and books.

>>6453502
Don't read what the fuck that anon had been explaining
I'm SO done

>>6451750
chingar is fucker iirc

>>6453660
No chingar is fuck, a verb not an adjective, chingon would be closer to fucker but its actually a compliment, and the word has like a million different meanings depending on conjugation and context, there is even a book listing them called el chingonario

Que chingon es 4chan, pero está de la chingada que siempre estén chingando los trolls que chinguen a su madre

Each chingar related word in that sentence has a different meaning and it makes perfect sense for a mexican

>>6453682
So she basically used a Spanish insult because she thinks i'm Mexican?
>>6453500
Plan B
Here's another
>Hey anon what are you doing this Valentine's day? Are you going to be at the party?
>nah I don't like parties
>oh
On Valentine's day
>did anyone get you anything?
>no nor do I care
>so you got nothing in the mail?
>nope

>>6453841
She hitted on you and you couldn't tell
Or unless it was you then holy shite you have no chance with this girl

>>6454099
How the fuck is that hitting on someone?

>>6454202
Basically asking someone if they got a gift in the mail on Valentine's day is a high alert

>>6454210
I thought he was asking her if they got anything in the mail

>>6454216
Honestly I don't know who's perspective which is which but it sounded like one of the two gave another a gift on Valentine's yet no one got it

>>6454227
It sounds like basic conservation starters to me. I would ask the same thing to my friends and coworkers.

>>6454234
True however mentioning if someone will also be at a Valentine's day party? Why would he(if it is him) ask her that? It's different from "hey you're coming over to the party?" you know friendly then "ARE YOU GOING TO BE THERE?" considering anons nature by now...

>>6454253
I would ask someone that if it was a deal breaker or I was just being blunter than usual. Plus if you know someone personally, it's good to see what someone else thinks of a party. If they're going, maybe it's worth it.

>>6454270
This is the same guy that asked that girl what hospital was she born in
I would be very concerned with what he ment by that at all

>>6454287
Probably just a dealbreaker to see if he was going to go or not. He probably just wanted to talk to her in person again because he thought he still had a chance.

>>6454292
Unless OP explained who is who by at least something instead of
>response
>response
And no clear indication on who is who we're are at a moot point by now

>>6454304
When he comes back, we can just ask him.

>>6454316
>>6454304
I was here the entire time, some of those words hurt....
Alright I guess I should've start by clearing it up...
She was the one who asked me about the party and the mail thing, and no I wouldn't harm her at all. I should've mention I did found something the day after with a note with a heart and that's all. Besides being it raining so it wasn't in the nicest conditioning since my mailbox is mostly full. However after day that she was grouchy as hell.
Also I know it's creepy waiting for 2 hours for a response but I have a free day so I had nothing better I guess...

>>6454390
4chan's equivalent of Daoko
Oh dear God...
Tell us, how many messages did you send her per day?

>>6454432
5 a day on a good day maybe more if she responds

>>6454432
Denko, anon.

>>6454531
I still know it started with a D so give me a point for that
>>6454477
On a "bad" day?

tell me if i'm wrong but anon anon got called a stalker for legitiment reasons and yet try to act like he's the good guy?

>>6454588
obviously it's 600

>>6454746
No, I think he's just trying to make it better than it sounds.

>>6454588
Well I call her
>>6454432
>>6454531
Her name is neither daoko nor denko! It's emily!
Come to think of it, should I call her again today to check on her?

>>6455072
Are you on the autism spectrum? I think I'm starting to see a pattern here.

>>6455083
No, what do you mean by pattern?

>>6455072
http://vgperson.tumblr.com/post/21533650696/help-the-girl-i-like-wont-respond-to-my-emails

>>6455146
But my situation isn't really like that

>>6455145
You're completely shit at reading cues both in and outside the thread.

take this test
https://www.questionwritertracker.com/quiz/61/Z4MK3TKB.html

>>6455177
I will when I get to my computer
Also she picked up today is almost 2 years, I'm so happy!

>>6455240
Seriously, I think you should stop trying trying to have a romantic relationship with her. This is frightening.

>>6455177
ayyy 30/36. suck my non autistic balls

>>6455247
It's passed romantic now
I want MORE then her love

>>6455357
No wonder she doesn't want you. This is going into poe's law.

If you aren't trolling, I want you to think of it this way:

She doesn't like you.

Nothing will change her mind.

This is reality and you cannot change it.

If you continue, you are making the person you love suffer for your own selfish reasons.

>>6455357
W8 did u just say you called her phone for almost 2 years? And daily? You've passed minami and denko...

>>6455157
Yes it is, you fuck. You're ruining her life just like that dude did to Denko

>>6455375
>>6455399
>>6455412
She responded with i'm gonna do it and she hung up
.....
I have nothing

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>>6455472
What you have is your answer that you've known forever, you dumb ass.

It will never happen.

>>6455472
>i'm gonna do it
rip emily
Also HI R/4chan!!

>>6455472
So what are you going to do now anon?

>>6455472
Anon, here's a hypothetical:

You have a brother. And this brother gets the attention of a girl. Unfortunately, he does not like her. For many months, you see him struggling to avoid her and panic at the mention of her name.

There are even times where he has broken down and cried from the stress this girl has caused her.

What would you do?

>>6455472
Anon, what do you think this thread thinks of you?

>>6455472
Something exciting fucking happened in these generals?!?!? What did I miss? Because i'm not reading all of that

>>6455532
some guy made a girl kill herself by stalking her 24/7 for 2 years
sounds fake because why the fuck didnt she change her phone number?

>>6455636
Look back at denko for a sec anon, what if he paid someone for info?

>>6451685
This sounds extremely fucking familiar

>>6455517
Regardless I know it's negative
Guess i'll finish what i've started

>>6455768
anon confirmed for doing the right thing and killing himself

I'm fucking serious this sounds EXTREMELY familiar

>>6455808
then shut up until you've figured it out

>>6455819
I remembered
These were the messages my friend used to send to me until January, last year, they were screenshots of a text conversation between her and a guy until she overdosed on her anti-depressants

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>>6455874
10/10
we've been played for fools
good job anons

>>6455874
If that's the case then why does the other guy know what they say? That just raises more questions IAO

>>6455472
Why are Asexuals so dramatic?
Fucking tumblr leave

>>6455905
It's because both that anon and the "stalker" guy are the same person and they were playing us for shits and giggles.

I think he wanted a 2spooky4me ending or something

>>6455934
If that's really the case and the actual girl committed suicide IRL that's really fucked up to make fun of her especially on 4chan.

>>6455962
there is no actual girl. It's all a dumb prank. You've been on the nice side of the internet for too long.

>>6456292
Hopefully
It's still creepy though....

how did your midsummer go, anons?

>>6458836
Mine is wonderful, thanks for asking anon!

>>6450868
>>6451685
She didn't find it funny.

>>6459072
Don't read the rest of that shit posted

Has anyone seen one of those cake memeing ace people in the flesh? I want to see one in the wild someday.

>>6459581
>Yes at my school; here's the story:
This is me by the way:
>>6439844

This story happened after I met the qt3.14 ace chick but before I moved. At this point we were basically dating to put it in simpler terms.

>Be me
>Be ace
>Be 3rd year at uni in public speaking class
>Really nice grill sitting next to me for weeks but we don't talk cus I'm super quiet
>After first two speeches realize we have a bunch in common like gaming, reading, same hobbies
>Find out she's ace which is even better
>I need to expand my ace bubble which currently only consists of me, my qtπ gf (still super close at this point), and a guy I'm friends with on steam and play with constantly.
>Going to ask her if she wants to hang out after class
>Today we do speeches on a public awareness topic
>I do computer security (none of us are safe)
>She does asexuality
>Wow she's really going to do an lgbt topic in the US south
>Says along the lines of "while a sexual person would think wow I want some sex right now, an asexual person would just think hmm I want cake right about now"
>No fucking joke I'm on the verge of dying from internal hemorrhaging of kek buildup.
>She mentions that some asexuals don't like sex but others like her do 'get around'
>I can't even make this shit up she says this in front of like 25 people. Like 8 of them are 30+ and the teacher
>She fucking quotes Tumblr as like half her sources
>Ahh I get what this is.
>At and of a speech the teacher makes comments about it
>At the end of hers be literally just says "okay"
>Don't want to be mean but definitely stay acquaintances

1/2

>>6460600
>Next semester I worked in the library with my girlfriend
>Saw speech grill sitting on a guy's lap making out
>Literally dry humping him and open mouth making out
>So classy/10
>Point out to girlfriend
>We're both disgusted by them
>She has more balls than me and goes over and talks to them
>They look real mad and walk out
>She comes back to me laughing
>What?
>I kicked them out for bit having their student IDs
One of my best memories in school

2/2

>>6460605
>>Saw speech grill sitting on a guy's lap making out
>>Literally dry humping him and open mouth making out
Disgusting. I wonder what makes her think she's ace.

>>6460977
>>6460605
>>6460600
She's a tumblr ace

>>6461381
She probably discovered she was actually a ~*demisexual panromantic gender fluid*~

>She fucking quotes Tumblr as like half her sources
oh no
>Literally dry humping him and open mouth making out
OH NO

How is dry humping someone in public ace at all? Like, shouldn't an ace person realize that it's a dumb place to be because they're not running on "need to fuck" hormones?

>>6441914
It can sometimes. for myself its more the amusing things that crop up given my asexuality and at the same time being completely nonplussed by anything sex related.

Drama is a huge pain the ass though so I never bring it up and just go along with the flow.

>>6462746
Its not. Assuming an ace has a libido its equivalent to a dog chasing its own tail because aces don't feel the necessary attraction to make it actually have a target. So the libido ends up running in circles.

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>>6461515
>demisexuals

What do you think about the fact that I am physically incapable of orgasm, physically incapable of finding anyone attractive, zero sex drive whatsoever, and I still don't consider myself asexual and view it as a non-identity but rather just not having a functional sex drive i.e. not being a functional and normal human?

>>6463236
that's cool with you. I don't really care about anyone else's identity until it starts getting into "tumblrina" territory of dog gender, demisexuality,abriosexuality, etc

>>6463247
D-demisexuality?!?

>>6463824
A sexuality where you're attracted to people you have a strong bond with aka "you're completely normal"

I've never seen an attractive person that said they were asexual. That's all you need to know.

>dating an asexual
>they always initiate making out with me
>they always initiate getting on top of me and grinding on me until I cum
>they left a huge hickey on my neck just before a weekend get-together with friends

A couple days into the relationship they admitted they were asexual and I said it was fine despite they know I've been in several sexual relationships before and enjoy sex in general. For this reason, I don't really make moves on them. They insist when we're rubbing our bodies together, they don't get turned on (or cum) but I have my doubts.

>>6464112
That's the kind of thing us rational folks like to call a "red flag"

>>6464134
Should I call them out on it or just play it cool? I feel like mentioning it might make them self-conscious and pull away but talking them through what exactly they are asexual about might resolve their use of the term. On the other hand, I'm ok with how things are. All our sexual activity has occurred with some form of clothing on and such only happens 2-3 times a month, so maybe it's more of a shyness?

>>6464110

i'm asexual

>>6464773

i would be very cautious with listening to acegen advice when it comes to judging other asexuals.

acegen is cool but it does tend to get pretty "REAL ASEXUALS CAN'T EVER HAVE BONERS REEEEEEE"

>>6464909

You find those sort of people in every internet group, the ones who say that "people who do/like [blah] are not real members of the group."

The Ace community has enough problems being accepted without this sort of factionalism bullshit. Stop it.

>>6465418

it really wasn't my intention to try to divide acegen, i just wanted to advice caution to the anon i replied to. being sure of your sexuality is hard as it is without the person you're dating questioning it.

but yeah i can see how i worded it in a bad way.

>>6464909
>acegen is cool but it does tend to get pretty "REAL ASEXUALS CAN'T EVER HAVE BONERS REEEEEEE"

Where is that happening? I usually try to shut that down because fuck those "twue aces"

>>6465503

well maybe i'm misunderstanding the term "red flag", but to me this is an example of it:
>>6464134
these two i believe are going too harshly on what might be someone masturbating by using another person:
>>6462746
>>6463039
this one is obvious but:
>>6443826

>>6465513
"masturbating by using another person"? That sounds so impersonal... Like the person is just a sex toy.

Plus, I am >>6462746 and it wasn't the fact they were dry humping. It was the fact that they were dry humping IN PUBLIC. Usually, I tend to see aces being a sexual relationship out of a compromise and it just seems completely illogical for me to think an ace person thought "okay, let me just fulfill the compromise in public"

>>6465526
>Usually, I tend to see aces being a sexual relationship out of a compromise and it just seems completely illogical for me to think an ace person thought "okay, let me just fulfill the compromise in public"

going by the dry-humping, i'd guess she was enjoying it, so their intimacy is probably mutually beneficial.
i don't see why it would be less asexual if she was dry-humping in her own private space. to me the implication was that the dry-humping made her a bad asexual.
furthermore if the intimate part of their relationship was a compromise, then maybe he wanted her to do that? maybe they have some special true love and she doesn't mind being tacky as hell?
it's bad form to dry hump people in public spaces, especially a library, but i don't think that's grounds to question someone's asexuality.

>>6465526
>"masturbating by using another person"? That sounds so impersonal... Like the person is just a sex toy.

To some people, sex is just a complex form of masturbation.

>>6465540
In my head, I tend to think that aces aren't thinking with their boners and thus aren't doing stuff that is just rude and unpleasant for people around them.
And even if she doesn't mind it, it's still as rude as ever.

>>6465546
That sounds really sad to me.

>>6465549

definitely agree with it being rude as heck.

>>6465549

It is sad, as those people have pretty much lost hope in relationships and decide to fuck the pain away

>>6465563
>implying that most sexuals need anything other than a way to get off

We're the ones who fuck people just so that we can have a relationship. For the rest of humanity it's the other way around.

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>>6464773
>>6464134
>>6464112
Maybe they're faking or confused about whether they really have a sex drive, or maybe it's something else. Maybe they're overcompensating because in their mind they're playing a role for your sake. I've done that. I've initiated sex because people start to get offended if you never do. People will get mad if you fail to do things they never asked you to do. Romance is a tangle of unwritten laws and conflicting expectations that even normal people have trouble navigating.

It's like that episode of TNG where Data started dating a chick. He was playing a part. He initiated things because he knew he was supposed to. He engineered all the normal steps of a romantic relationship, even staging a lover's quarrel. He meant well, but he messed up and got blamed for not being genuine even though that lady should have known what she was getting into. Data might be the best portrayal of an ace anywhere in media.

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>>6465540
>>6465526
I posted the story and just wanted to point out that >>6461381 got it right. When I saw them in the library I no longer thought she was ace (although after that Tumblr speech I didn't really think it to begin with). Also afterwords I had seen them around campus and in the library again. She was the loud slutty type. I'm not against those that dress slutty but her actions and what she said aloud spoke miles. There were a few occasions where I could hear her talking to her friends about topics that shouldn't be said in public (yet alone so loudly in public).
She was not ace.

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>>6465659
>an emotionless android is the best portrayal of asexual people

>>6439309
I used to be ace. Then I found out I had very low testosterone.

Test cleared the ace nonsense right up.

>>6464904
Case in point

What are your opinions on queerplatonic relationships?

>>6466813
I'm too lazy to find the definition on this. Someone spoonfeed me.

>>6465913
Funny, I turned out to have too much testosterone. Now that I'm on testosterone suppressants I have a sex drive again.... goddamn, it is annoying.

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>>6466850
I'll spoon-feed you but do note I didn't read what it is because lately I don't care enough to. Hopefully I helped tho.

>>6466999
wait why is it called queerplatonic when platonic would also work in that situation
why the need to add queer

>>6441090
fuck

>>6467016
Idk never heard the word before. Just googled it for ya

>>6467016
Tumblr as per usual with that sorta thing.

At least Aven is only obsessed with cake and a superiority complex.

>>6446387
>antidepressants
Am I really ace if it's a side effect of medication?

Inb4 "not your real self"

I take drugs to be what I feel is my best self, and don't really care if it it's my "real self" or not. One of the side effects is that I have very little libido or sexual attraction of any kind, and I don't get crushes anymore.

(I used to get workplace crushes every year or so. I've been in a committed relationship for years, so I acknowledged crushes for what they were, kept them to myself, enjoyed the fantasy, let them run their course and fade away over weeks or months.)

My partner identifies as ace, and since I've been on these drugs, our relationship has been kinda like what people talk about on here: Romantic but not sexual. Much better than before, when it was one ace and one hypersexual.

>>6466585
so youre saying if you'd seen me you'd have seen an attractive ace?

i agree (◕‿◕)

>>6468298
Well, it's kind of like asking is a dog really mute because there's a muzzle on it.

I think you already know the answer.

>>6468447
Not the best analogy, because most dogs want to bark, like to bark, do a lot of their communication by barking, and are very frustrated when they can't bark.

As with dogs and barking, so with sexuals and sex.

If there were a muzzle that didn't hinder the dog's mouth or miss functioning, but took away everything bark-related from its memory, psychology and physiology, then yes, it would be truly mute.

>>6468517
And that's why they're not really asexual. The medication is simply "muzzling" their libido.

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Is it even worth coming out as ace? I still keep thinking in the back of my mind that I might just be a late bloomer, but I don't know. Any advice?

>>6468638
I personally think that if you think you will benefit from coming out (ex:self acceptance, telling love ones for explanation of actions) then you should.

But if you're worried, you don't have to come out. You can take your time and wait.

>>6468531
So is HRT a muzzle for an MtF's masculinity?

>>6468638
If your family keeps bugging you about getting a partner, then maybe. Otherwise I see no reason to.

>>6468750
>>6468938
My family is pretty chill when it comes to relationships, they'll ask every once in a while, but no pressure. Thanks.

>>6468638
Unless you love drama its not worth it. For some reason it brings on an insane amount of drama that sticks.

So i personally learned keep quiet about it. Now straight people think I'm gay and gay people think I'm straight. If it starts to annoy me I just pop a comment off about the opposite sex and fixed. Still either way I find that keeping quiet about it is much easier and more peaceful.

>>6468638
I only told one person who is dating an ace girlfriend and it's cool because we come to each other for advice.

What kills me is my best friend and I are super close and when we talk about other drama we mention that we don't like to each other. Being ace is the only thing that I've lied about and it eats me up inside.

cant get over thinking im fucked up, dont get romantic feelings for people, sex is boring and makes me sleepy, I idealized a relaionship for a long time and when I was finally in one i felt bad because i couldnt force myself to feel anything for them

>>6470298
If you would like to change, just head over to a therapist or something.

>>6470327
Naw too much drama accepting yourself is where its at bruv

>>6470337
Hey, I'm just giving OP an option because they're acting all sad. They don't need to choose it if they don't want to.

>>6468298

hey dude i think that's all up to you.

if you feel your medicines make you your true you, then find a label that is comfortable for the medicated you.

>>6469442
>Unless you love drama its not worth it. For some reason it brings on an insane amount of drama that sticks.

I WANT TO HAVE ACE DRAMA TOO.

>Now straight people think I'm gay and gay people think I'm straight.

this happens to me too. i didn't believe in gaydars until i broke them.

>>6470298

you're not fucked up, romantic feelings are pretty rare, sex is boring until you find something fun about it (if ever, super smash bros is always more fun than sex). keep your boat afloat anon!

>>6465650
Poetic.

>>6465688
I'm open to being proved wrong. Is there any other example in media of an ace trying to make a relationship work? Grey Worm and Missandei, I guess, sort of? Don't say Big Bang Theory because I'm not watching that shit.

>>6470664
>super smash bros
Is this the new cake?

>>6451750
>>6451685
This is good trolling.

Hey guys, just checking in to say that I was here when /acegen/ was just getting started in its more organized form (as opposed to random generals popping up from time to time), and I'm very, very happy to see that it's doing well. A few months ago I started coming here less and less and at some points when I came back I barely kept it alive with a random bump and I feared that it would die completely but it hasn't. Nice job, guys. Keep it up!

>>6472407

i wouldn't mind it, cake is really overrated.

>>6472407
It better not be.

>>6473143
I'm actually the only person that has made the generals since the no topic ones. We're pretty lazy.

how do I know if im asexual or if im just not taking enough estrogen

>>6476105
you go to a doctor

>>6476105
Get your hormones checked.

Can anyone recommend some media with romance that doesn't feel forced? All examples I can think of are Pacific Rim and the newest Star Wars.

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>tfw you turn someone down but they're still trying so you gotta get creative

Who are you voting for in the 2016 presidential election acegen?

http://www.strawpoll.me/10626073

I never really experience sexual attraction towards people and I don't have much interest in sex. Although I have high testosterone levels so a high sex drive, I masturbate quite frequently, and I do so to porn. I also got aroused when I made out with someone, although I didn't really enjoy kissing. The sexual arousal confuses me and I wish it didn't happen.
I've assumed I was asexual for years now, but then forced myself to get a boyfriend (who is now my ex) to see. Could I be?

>>6476062
Yeah I may or may not have been the one that kinda started the no topic ones... Sorry about that.

>>6482478
>I never really experience sexual attraction towards people
That means you're ace. The rest of your story is completely irrelevant.

I don't know why people have such a hard time with this. It's really very simple. I guess it's just one more manifestation of "my behavior 100% matches the definition of sexuality X, but I don't want to identify as that." You know, the denial that exists all over /lgbt/

>>6482342
I'm voting for "shotgun sandwich"

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/acegen/, I have a problem with a fetish
>be me
>not sexually attracted to anyone
>am disgusted by the idea of me having sex
>okay with watching people of my opposite gender have sex
>have bdsm fetish
>watching a video of someone dominating another person
>am suddenly interested in the idea of giving the dominant oral sex while they dominant the submissive
I've had these feelings before but I usually just shake it off after I really thought about it. It's like I want to be involved with the scene but not /involved/ with the sex part? Like just being second in command and a dominant ordering me to hold the sub down while they get fucked.

I think I was only thinking of giving them oral sex because my brain can only think of that way to show my adoration or something. Idk, I think I've watched too much porn or something.

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>Meet friend's sister years ago
>Kind of a kooky girl, taxidermist, smart, witty, pretty
>Minor crush forms, though I never pursue it

>Years later, I'm moving into their family home (which I'm renting from their mother, as they've moved elsewhere)
>Keep finding bits of her old discarded decorations (read: animal bones) in the back garden
>Mention this as a small warning to guests
>Every single male immediately and honestly responds with "Is she single?"
>Mention this as an anecdote to her when I'm visiting one day
>She laughs about how she'd disappoint them, considering the fact that she's asexual.

Good thing I didn't act on that little crush. Could've made her quite uncomfortable, and don't want to do that.

...[spoiler]I do wonder if she's also aromantic, though.[/spoiler]

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>tfw butterface
>tfw even if you find your 10/10, you will never be worthy of them because of your 0/10 face

is this gen alive?

>>6486897

i really don't see the problem with this.
just find a bdsm community near you and see if anyone is up to include you.

>>6488694
But now I'm sure if I'm asexual or not.

>>6488697

sexual attraction is still not there, is it?
more importantly, if you still feel as an asexual then use the asexual label. to me it doesn't sound weird at all that you want to engage in powerplays because powerplays are fun as heck. fucking or sexual attraction isn't necessarily the focus of bdsm; control, intimacy and trust is what's exercised.

>>6464112
Lithosexual maybe?

>>6488743
>lithosexual
nigga wut

>>6488709
>sexual attraction is still not there, is it?
I'm not sure. I just really wanted to give them my adoration in a sensual way or something. I wanted them to feel what I was feeling.

>>6488767

sexual attraction is still supposed to directed at a specific person, not a specific role or situation.

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>>6488767

>>6488781
Not sure why there's an out-of-place diamond there. Probably hamsteaks

>>6461515
tfw i am all of those things

>>6488835
>demisexual
I'm not trying to be rude but please explain why you chose that instead of just pansexual? In my brain, it's like saying "floodsexual" where a person only feels sexual attraction during heavy rain.

>>6488843
Kidding on the demi part, but i have no problem with demisexual being a thing. It's not really a gender-based orientation, but gender as a concept is breaking down in tumblr circles. I'm actually ace, panromantic, and agender.

>>6488876
there should just be words that are
>I have sexual attraction towards people with the same genitals as me
>I have sexual attraction towards people with different genitals
>I have sexual attraction towards people. I don't care about genitals.
>I don't have sexual attraction

>>6488901
Sexual attraction is more complex than that. As people explore this, I'm sure hundreds of new words will pop up to fill holes in the language.

>>6488915
But I feel like a lot of those words are just preferences or a smaller subset of a larger group. For example, I would be called an "Autochorissexual" but I simply call myself "asexual". It's kind of like how a lot of kinks and fetishes fall underneath the bdsm umbrella.

>>6488932
Exactly. You fall under the asexual umbrella, but Autochorissexual is a more precise term. But discrete classification doesn't work well when sexuality is a spectrum. Demi is considered at a weird point between the ace and pan.

>>6488948
not really because some people will say "demihet/bi/homo/etc"

>>6439309
90% of the time they're asking me directly if I have seen a doctor already. 50% of that is followed by "maybe you've got hormone problems".

>>6488932
I think the best general umbrellas are probably
>Attracted to feminine forms
>Attracted to masculine forms
>Attracted to both
>Attracted to neither

Most people who are male and heterosexual are attracted to not the vagina of their partner, but the feminine form they possess, as they are without being informed more attracted to a trans woman without bottom surgery than a trans man

Why do you tumblrinas even go on 4chan anyway? Doesn't it trigger you?

>>6489869
har har

>>6489869
ayy

>>6488777
But it's like
>Am aroused by X
>this person has elements of X
>I am aroused by this person

Isn't that specific enough? It's like being attracted to someone due to them having long hair or having a cute laugh or something... I think. Ugh, why are sexual things so hard to understand?

>>6492155
the way i've had other people explain how they experience sexual attraction it's more of a immediate thing.
to me it still sounds asexual, it's much too rational compared to how sexual attraction has been described to me before. but you're the boss in the end anon, if the shoe fits wear it.

>>6492203
How have people described sexual attraction?

As far as I can tell, it seems to be like a hunger for food or something. Like you can smell a favorite dish and you just want a taste or something like that?

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>yfw someone makes the "hurr durr like a plant" joke

http://bust.com/sex/14324-no-sex-please-i-m-asexual.html

this article is okay

Why are your tumblr blogs not enough? Why shit up 4chan? Doesn't this place trigger you anyway?

>>6441090
Intrusive thoughts are a symptom of mental illness and not part of a healthy asexual person.

Oh look, it's the straight people who can't get laid so they think they're LGBT.

GTFO.

>>6501678
Distressing instrusive thoughts are a sign of trouble. Like imagining crashing your car into a tree or your boss firing you or something like that.
Sounds like anon just can't really focus on lewd things because they don't care about it. Other things distract them.

>>6501749
>le u just can't get laid maymay
>stop invading muh safe space
Why are you assuming we are straight anyway? Is it so hard to understand that some people have zero interest in any form of relationship?

>>6439309
they called me every name in the book and then some
bonus points for >like a plant?

i wish people would at least aknowlegde its existance

>>6501678
Actually, intrusive thoughts are very common in healthy people. The problem is only when those thoughts begin to disrupt your daily life and you cannot function properly. For example, OCD.

>>6501749
>implying all asexuals are straight
okay

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we should do this next thread

>>6504550
This is pretty great.

>>6504605
you think there should be a "sexless relationship" square or is that too easy

>>6504611
Maybe replace one of the more redundant squares with that.

asexuality is not lgbt unless you're in romantic relationships with the same gender. as long as you guys realize that i don't care what you do

>>6504842
>bi people aren't lgbt unless they're in a same gender relationship
that's what you sound like

>>6504799
like the le budding joke or something?

>>6504914
the funny thing is bi people still have same-gender attraction. people who do are murdered. asexuals who aren't same-gender attracted are seen as straight. go away lmao

>>6504939
you're moving goal posts
In your previous post you said:
>asexuality is not lgbt unless you're in romantic relationships with the same gender.
>unless you're in romantic relationships with the same gender.
>unless you're in romantic relationships
>romantic relationships
>relationships

That's why I called your shit out.

Make a platform you can stand on, use your writing classes to make a topic sentence and stick to it instead of going "n-no shut up tho, I'm actually just talking about attraction"

>>6504550
I like this

>>6504974
whoops, my bad.

asexuality is not lgbt unless you're same-gender attracted.

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>>6505264

>>6505283
>straight low test beta boy uses a 9gag reaction image

>>6505288
Are you just throwing darts at a wall of buzzwords and making sentences out of what you hit?

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Can i get some opinions?

I dont really need a label but ive been wondering if im truly asexual.

I am ftm, im a virgin. Ive given oral twice which i was fine with but wasnt horny at all. Im a virgin because everytime ive been kissed or touched sexually, or even imagine someone doing sexual things with me, it literally grosses me out.

But i masturbate frequently. I get turned on pretty easily. So i do have a good sex drive.

When people say "just have sex, you'll like it", its like telling me to eats worms because ill like them.

I get lonely but at the same tine i cant imagine a romantic relationship working without sex. I feel like if i had a dick i would be 100% ok with sex but thats not reality.

tldr: am i considered asexual, or just sexually and emotionally doomed because of dysphoria?

>>6507436
Sounds like asexuality to me. Maybe you'll change your sexuality when you transition if you're worried about relationships.

I can't tell if I'm asexual or if I just fear intimacy.

>>6507590
intimacy =/= sex

>>6507620
Thanks

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>>6508298

>>6439309
I just want to say it's great that there is an ace thread. I'm a bisexual man but I think ace people are just a superior breed of human. Asexuals don't contribute to the population, don't spread diseases, and are not sexually promiscuous. I just want to say I appreciate all you acefags. Please keep existing.

>>6464110
I've never meet an ace person to whom I wasn't attracted. That said, I've only met like 3.

>>6511203
Thanks senpai but you are slightly misled.
Sociopathic Asexual Aryans are the master race.
We are perfect beings.

> I think ace people are just a superior breed of human
Please don't spread that kind of thinking around. I already get enough of that from the asexuals that think that.

>>6512640
Are we wrong? Show how.

A sex drive was necessary for humans in the Stone Age, but it's not well suited to modern civilization.

>>6513594
A sex drive still is a good thing to have for modern civilization if you are looking to keep our population stable.

Also, many asexual people:
>still have a sex drive (masturbation or use of a partner)
>can contribute to the population (many want kids)
>do spread diseases (herpes, STIs, STDs, etc if they have a partner that wants to have sex)
>can be sexually promiscuous

What they all lack is sexual attraction. Perhaps you're looking for someone that lacks a libido?

And the only reason I say that you are wrong is because I do not want asexuals to be the next euphoric, fedora-wearing atheist meme.

When people start going "we're duh mustard race" shit hits the fan.

>>6513622
Our population isn't stable; it's exploding out of control. Most people don't yet control their own reproduction, even though the tools to do so are now available to the developed world.

And how the fuck is someone who has a sex drive and satisfies it through "use of a partner" considered ace? People stretch the definition of aces to include whomever they want, and that claim truly stretches it past its breaking point.

>>6517346
I said
>if you're looking to keep our population stable
Where in that did I say that it was stable?

And yes, apparently there are people who are asexual and use a partner to satisfy their needs. I personally see it as using a person as a sex toy and find it tasteless.

>>6517837
That's a contradiction in terms. Wanting to use another person to satisfy your sex drive is completely exclusive with asexuality. Asexuality is by definition not doing that.

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>>6518179
Hey, I don't completely understand it myself either. As far as it's been explained to me, using another person as a sex toy is okay because you're not actually sexually attracted to them.

>>6518476
That's absurd. It's one of the most blatant cases of special pleading I've ever heard of. "Yes, I desire sex with a person, but it's not sexual attraction, because I say it isn't."

"Using people as sex toys" is the default version of sexuality. There's an instinct that most people have to do this special behavior with another person who meets whatever specifications they have. It's not a special exception; it's the rule, and we are the exception.

>>6518553
As far as I can tell, they don't desire sex. They just use them because they're there. It's like having food in front of you and you're just eating it because you're bored.

>"Using people as sex toys" is the default version of sexuality
>There's an instinct that most people have to do this special behavior with another person who meets whatever specifications they have.

Yeah, see, I don't think they have any sexual specifications. Also "using people as sex toys" isn't the default version of sexuality. Sexuality is based on the desire and/or interest of engaging in sex.

But I don't really know why I'm defending this when I don't particularly understand this type of asexual.

We should wait until someone like this comes by and ask them questions.

>>6518607
When aces have sex, it's as a means to an end. It's to please a person they want to keep in their life, or because of the power it gives them over people, or so people will finally believe them when they say they don't like sex. If you're having sex with another person as an end in itself, you've crossed the line into sexuality, even if you don't care that much about it and are doing it out of boredom.

>joke around with family and say I'm basically asexual
>die inside because they would never accept it as the truth if I told them

>>6522275
This is a problem that the rest of /lgbt/ has in a more severe form. They don't realize the true nature of coming out. They think that their goal is to be accepted by their families, but no, the goal is to make sure that anyone who rejects you loses. It's a battle. And when you can choose where and when a battle takes place, you choose the ground that most favors yourself.

You don't give your family the home-field advantage by coming out at home; you do it someplace where they're uncomfortable. You get every friend who's already on your side and have them there to back you up. Have them surround any family members whose loyalty is in doubt. Stage it like an intervention. Have them record the blessed moment on their phones. This should shame your family into compliance, or at least give you the tools to crush any resistance.

>>6523298
Holy fuck that's borderline psychotic. It's so mad it would probably work. You evil genius. I love you fampai. Marry me?

>>6524314
Okay, but no touching.

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>>6524393
What about hand holding and hugging? Def no to kissing or anything that touchy but I like embracing people. I'm a hugger

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>>6524550

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>>6523298

>>6524550
I'LL HUG YOU, ONII-CHAN

>>6529416
>wanting a someone to touch you

>>6533180
I like it unabashedly. I am a touchy feely person. Most of my friends and family I hug for greetings and goodbyes, I'll wrap my arms around people's shoulders, touch their hands from across the table, scratch people's heads- LET ME TOUCH YOU

When I was younger I had quite a few friends who were my cuddle buddies. It was wonderful. I was so happy.
But then I got older and realized that people get turned on in those situations. It can be kind of sexual. It made me question all my opposite-gendered cuddle sessions, and I haven't really felt comfortable cuddling with people since.
I miss it so much.

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>be me
>not sure if so jaded by sex due to depression or if it's just asexuality

>>6535252
You're just a teenager with a tumblr. It'll pass.

>>6535273
mark that bingo sheet, people

>>6535273
>something that has been noticed in science for decades
>just a tumblr thing
okay

>>6535252
Super off topic and should probably be on another board but you know how charmander dies if the flame on his tail goes out? Couldn't you just keep pouring gas on it and it'd live forever?

>>6535841
The flame just seems to be a good indicator of its health. Even if you attached something to its tail, it would probably still die. Or it would just die of cancer.

>there have probably been "canary in a mineshaft" situations where they stick a charmander down in the mines
>multiple charmander have probably died from lack of oxygen

>>6448835
asexuals don't date, you're talking about an attention seeker

>>6535940
Is that sarcasm or...?

>>6535965
No, why would it be? Asexuals do not seek out relationships by nature. Anyone doing so is probably an attention seeking meme-sexual.

>>6535987
Anon, what is your definition of "asexual"

>>6536109
Search Results
asexual
eJˈsɛksjʊəl,-ʃʊəl/
adjective
adjective: asexual

1.
without sexual feelings or associations.

>>6536150
According to that definition, an asexual person can still date with the goal of being in a close relationship with someone.

>>6536150
You can be in a relationship without wanting sex, anon. Sex isn't the only thing people do together, you can be romantic but not sexual if you want.

>>6536183
This is why I always ask for someone's definition because they always have some interesting thinking that needs to be nudged a tad or dusted because of it.

>>6535877
Anon, why...

>>6536296
Didn't you know that asexual people are all sociopaths? :^)

What edition should the next threaad be?

>>6537089
Back to Tumblr Edition

>>6537089
Let's Play Bingo edition

>>6536183
Uh.. no.

What you are thinking of is called a friendship.

A relationship is inherently sexual nature, that's what seperates it from a close frienship.

>>6537360
Welp I'd better let my parents know that because of their sexless marriage, they're really just good buddies. Someone should tell them that they should stop holding hands and saying they love each other. It's totally inappropriate for two platonic heterosexual friends.

They should probably split their bank accounts, separate their insurance, and stop living together. And if one falls into a coma or dies, how can we ask the other to have a say in what happens? They're just good friends, and it's only for someone who is in a relationship to decide what to do.

They shouldn't be so clingy that they constantly have to know where each other are. Do you ask your friends to have 24/7 open communication with you? They have their own lives! It's not like they've committed to you or anything. It's entirely inappropriate.

>>6537827
Not that anon and I don't mean this in a harmful way at all, but with parents like that were you adopted?

>>6537360
Your definitions are out of wack with your thought process once again.

A relationship is essentially the bond and interactions between two groups.

Two friends have a relationship. An employee has a relationship with their coworkers. A tribe has a relationship with other neighboring tribes.

I'm starting to think you are person that is trying to keep the thread alive with drama and not an actual discussion. That explains the spouting of tumblr and such.

If you are, try to find material such as questions or articles instead of the usual drama. It drives people away.