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How do you decide your sexuality when you are clinically autistic enough that human contact of any kind seems like a bother?
I'm obsessively controlling, but I also want relief from that responsibility. And then I want it all back again.
Being in a room with a normalfag with their own sloppy agenda reduces that control without any submissive benefits for me. So being alone provides relief from that desire to stay in control.
I want more than masturbation, but I'm stuck in a feedback loop of control freakery.
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Find other autistic individuals, buy shrooms, take low dosage, have autist orgy.
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If you're self-aware of your tendencies then you can take measures to keep them in check. If you actually want a relationship you have to be willing to not be in complete control. A partner reduces your control, yes, but that's something you have to cede if you want one that will stay. There's not really any other way around it unless you can content yourself with hookups.
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>>6383753
>shrooms
MDMA (pharmaceutical-grade Ecstasy) might suit your purposes better. I think there's actually some ongoing research into its therapeutic applications for autism-spectrum disorders, but I can't be arsed to dig for it right now.
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