Joke about straight people

Straight guys are hot I wanna suck their dicks

>>6141236
\thread

>>6141236
If we follow a straight Logic that make them totally gay. Instantly.

>>6141230

MtF here, not sure if these are funny, but I came up with them now.

1. What does a gay couple call a discharge 3 days late? Constipation.
What does a straight couple call a discharge 3 days late? Pregnancy.

2. A straight man, a straight woman, and a gay man simultaneously rub a genie's lamp. The genie decides to give each of them one wish.

The straight man wishes for the perfect woman. The genie creates the perfect woman, exactly.

The straight woman wishes for the perfect man. The genie creates the perfect woman, exactly.

The gay man, seeing this, simply wishes the other four would turn gay and proceeds to fuck the two men.

3. What is a gender struggle to trannies? A mental battle going on for months, even years, against ingrained expectations, life experiences, fears, and self-hatred in order to come to a resolution on an often long-ignored problem mostly spent in stalemate.

What is a gender struggle to straight people? Deciding on whether to watch Deadpool or How to be single with your partner.

>>6141236
>Straight guys are hot I wanna suck their dicks
>tfw when straight
>tfw if I let a gay guy suck my dick, he would just call me biscum and be hurtful to me
>why live? ;__;

>>6141236
Im straight and would let a hot guy suck my dick

File: image.gif (3MB, 294x238px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 294x238px

>>6141425
I'm laughing, but only at how terrible these jokes are. That last one is Assigned Male tier

t. mtf

>>6141475
You're only biscum if you identify as biscum. Until then, you're "str8" and worthy of our unconditional respect and lust.

>>6141475
Just give us the dick straighty!

>>6141475
You're biscum only if you let gay guy to think you want something more. If you're honest about wanting just sex or bj, we will please you. Just don't lie you want a relationship when in reality you'll just ditch him the moment you find a better woman.

>How many breeders does it take to make a single alimony payment?
>More than currently exist.

>Have you heard of the latest biopic about the breeder whose pregnant wife left him?
>18 Years a Slave.

>What did the breeder say when he found his wife in bed with another man?
>"I'm fine with it, please don't leave me, I'm begging you. Please don't take my kids away...they're all I've got in this world. Please..."

>Wanna hear a joke?
>Heterosexuality.

>>6141629
This post needs to be stickied immediately.

People make fun of breeders constantly but it's most visible on Tumblr where it's always tinged with a bit of forced edge and thus unfunny.

>>6141668
>18 Years a Slave.
I worked with a guy who was a Vietnam Vet. His wife got pregnant when he was a soldier. Because of his deployment and how long it was and when she got pregnant, it was obvious it was not his child. When he got back to the states after his deployment he immediately started divorce proceedings but the judge made him support the child for 18 yrs b/c his name was on the birth certificate as father.

>when older married breeder worships you and fucks you like a beast because he hasn't gotten any for ages

>>6141496

>That last one is Assigned Male tier

Rude.

>>6141951
how is that like a joke?

>>6141230
A red head and a man are about to have sex. The red head says "actually I don't wanna fuck I'm religious".

Rim shot.

File: 1405639129190.jpg (93KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

93KB, 1280x720px

>>6142303

Whatto happen desu?

>>6141715
I consider "breeder" to be a massively disrespectful term and I only ever use it to refer to bisexuals, never heterosexuals.