/mtfg/ - Trans Girl General

>>5899892
I don't have a hope folder
...Typing it like that sounds sad.

>>5899899
I have a folder titled "Reasons to be depressed and hope to die" filled with pretty girls.

typing that any way sounds sad.

>>5899889
>Had a fair bit of dabs yet? Different high and pot in general is great for ptsd.
I haven't had dabs yet.
>Howve you been otherwise, like update wise. Its been a minute.
Being evicted and have to find a new place in the next 2-3 weeks or I'll be forced to move back down to arizona with my mom

I have a friend that recently went trans - started hormones, growing out her hair, wearing female clothes, etc. I don't care that she's trans - she's still my friend.

Anyway, I'm no fashion expert but her clothing choices really aren't flattering. I mean they're pretty bad and just make her look like a guy wearing girly clothes. I think she could better pull it off with different clothes. Should I even say something about it? I don't know how I would without sounding like a dick.

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I miss old mtfg.

>>5899906
>Should I even say something about it?
If it were me, I'd definitely want you to say it

>I don't know how I would without sounding like a dick.
Maybe ask her if she wants you to tag along for clothes shopping and suggest some things that might suit her better?

>>5899909
>Thinking that's old MTFG

>>5899911

>shopping with women

I don't know if I'm that good of a friend. I'm a guy; I know exactly what I want before I leave home and I'm in and out like a spec ops team.

>tfw 26
>tfw 44 inch chest
>before hrt
>no muscles
>not really fat

I'm never going to experience happiness ever again, am I?

>>5899909
>posting the shit picture

>>5899917

There are big guys that like big (size wise not fat wise) women. Like go find body builders or a place where construction workers hang out

>>5899892
>square face
>hope

Is a weak chin a feminine feature?

>>5899916
Maybe tell a female friend the predicament? Or when talking to her say you saw a picture recently that featured a top that might suit her well?

Or just be blunt with it, it would get the message across, and while she mightn't like it, she'd at least appreciate that you said it.

>>5899925
all of those women are cis though
maybe I can look like a cis woman too

>>5899892
>having hope

I kinda wanna type out some related-to-trans memories, excuse me.

>5 years old
>have "girlfriend"
>go over to her house
>her room is pink
>so pink
>I can still remember the layout of that room today

>7 years old, doing ballet because I insisted for a whole year that I wanted to
>teacher calls the class 'her girls', me included
>mentions that it's just easier that way
>nbd

>Ages 9-12 parents always referred to my brothers as 'the boys', 'you boys' and similar, but there was always the quick addendum of 'not you, anon' (the vivid memory is in a car)

>12 years old
>decide to tell mum I wish I had been born a girl
>ask her to let me start over and indulge in what I didn't realise at the time was a Little fetish
>BIG FUCKING REGRET (ywn be as autistic as me)
>she starts crying
>I can't handle mum crying
>"It was just a prank bro" "just a phrase I promise, I'll get over it"
>relationship destroyed
>I come to believe that she would be destroyed if I come out as trans

>early high school
>there is an openly gay guy
>friend tells me in a disgusted tone that 'he was wearing makeup'
>smile and chuckle awkwardly
>obsess over the detail for a couple of days

and now the coming out
>19 years old
>1AM
>come home from drinking with dad completely shitfaced
>was there to pick up ID so I could go clubbing in Town instead of at the local
>walk into my room "quietly"
>mum walks in to my room, notices I'm shitfaced
>I try to mumble something
>drunkbreakdown.exe
>I assume she sent dad back to his place because he didn't come in afaik
>cry into my pillow about how I've been suicidal for years
>want to be grill
>want to see psychologist
>general support, acceptance etc.
1 year later I started 'mones and then that's about it until now.

What's your life story, /mtfg/?

>>5899936
But some don't look it.
Jennifer aniston looks like a hon

Good morning

>>5899946
>Boy that looked like a girl
>was a prissy little faggy crybaby bitch
>whyamidifferenttogirls.jpg
>Puberty depression kicks in
>be faggy makeup emo kid
>Shave hair decide to be a man
>man job, working out, try to maximise that T
>become the nest man/son I could be
>Break down at 25
>Placed in suicide therapy
>Alcoholic
>Start mones
>Get more depressed.
>dysphoria gets worse
>nohopeforkingkong.jpg

All that's left is to pick a day to kill myself.

>>5899949
she's also insanely successful, popular and rich
that's kinda the point of the hope folder

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>>5899892
My "hope folder" was lots and lots of images of transwomen I saved pre-HRT because I thought they were pretty and I wanted to convince myself there was hope for that.

I'm done. Bye
Mirin#scaredstraight

>>5899954
Some people like ugly looking women who can't act

>>5899963
hey

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>>5899892
I don't have a folder like this because I simply don't need one. I have been on HRT for longer than you have realized you are trans. I started at literal age of 15 from the help of /cd/ and then tinychat and now I'm 19. I feel like I don't need to pick out at flaws of cis women in order to be happy.

But of course, to each to their own. I only feel sorry for people like you who are plagued by poor genetics and even blacker minds, that's all.

Learn to be happy and your attitude and looks will become congruent to positivity. Do the opposite, to your own detriment.

Regards,
Febrezee

>>5899972
You've got a little bitch in you

>>5899963
??

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Guess i'm failing this term of uni.

>>5899961
This. I spent the longest time thinking HRT could never work for me, so seeing tgirls who it had succeeded for was a huge source of hope.

So I came out to HR
it was so awkward like she had no idea what I was talking about (And I only mentioned legal gender change).

And I thought I pass. I feel so dirty right now...

>>5899974
I feel like I only spoke of my honest opinion here. Sometimes an opinion is the truth people would rather not be confronted with.

>>5899963
bye maddie chaser

>>5899986
Hey
Do you have skype ?
I already asked you 3 times but you're always away before you read it

>>5899972
wtf
I just save pics of cis women with similar bone structure etc. to me to see what hairstyles, clothes, etc. they go for and to give me hope my genetics aren't so bad I'll never blend in
there's no malice involved, wtf is your problem?

>>5899977
oh jeez :(

>>5899976
It's her trip I assume? Just more drama queen bullshit. Attention whore will be back

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>>5899972
>Learn to be happy

>>5899992
Give yours and I'll add you.

>>5899998
oh, so close, Bateman.
-Paul Allen.

>>5899972

Where was this /cd/ board people keep mentioning? I say was because it sounds like it's gone now.

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jormy if you are around, are you still getting an orchy?
if so do you have any info I could use like costs/referral etc

>>5899711
>sheen is a 30+ year old aussie
yes
>chaser
But I'm like 90% straight and I doubt I could do more than cuddle and kiss with any girl and like... I had a crush on kira because of her arid humour and intellect also she is cute and it kind of caught me by surprise, also have a small crush on Faye but everyone does
>that is unfortunately overweight
I'm working on not being so, but I am unfortunately ugly and mannish and poor
>and not too bright
no argument here, I offer nothing to nobody or society and I hate it

>>5899999
Oh shit I wasted it.

>>5899999
Marina.m1993

>>5899972
>tfw you didn't start at 15
I should commit sudoku

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nyyyyyyyyyyyyamaste

>>5899993
Fuck you. People like you need to compare yourselves only to have a warped view of the world. Instead of picking out what masculine traits women have and thinking you are okay to have it, how about you work on things that actually matter instead of saving away pictures to a folder like that's going to do anything for your sanity? If anything you are bringing down your own standards by doing so.

>>5900005
Uh, for curiosity's sake, where abouts in Australia?

>>5899892
>hope
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MaN4sboc7E8

>>5900010
she is in qld

>>5899996
If being happy is a meme to you then your life will always be a meme.

>>5900003
420chan

>>5900007
Nobody should commit suicide. Now don't be silly. Genetics play a bigger part in it.

>>5900009
Chill your T rage. There is no reason to be angry about it.

>>5900013
!!! Someone on here is actually nearby to me? !!!

>>5899986
Because you look like a teenage boy. You dun goofed. Now live with that shame.

>>5900016
You are confusing my sheer honesty for T rage. Who said I was even angry?

People like you are the worst because you claim to be so sensitive.

Maybe a pussy like you should develop a shield to deal with other people's opinions in a free society because inevitably confronted with things you don't like.

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What is a hope folder and why do I need one?

>>5899963
Ugly hon trip test #1;
Blah blah suicide alcoholic dicks pity me

>>5900022
You don't need one, you're probably in someone's hope folder.

i want to blow raspberries on maddie's pudge muffin top

>>5900015
>genetics
That's even worse

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good morning. this is much too early to be alive

>>5899892
just this picture of successful ffs. my current nose looks like the before pic

>>5900021
These are the words of a bitter hon

>>5900030
I am sure you are down playing yourself because you think it's funny, but it's not.

>>5900015
>genetics
>tfw I already had a huge man jaw at 11 years old
there was never any hope for me, urgh, at least I don't have to regret not starting earlier

>>5900033
Yup I'm a bitter hon because I get frustrated at those who are too busy feeling sorry for themselves and let their trans identity be the entire definition of who they are.

>>5900034
Most of us arent.
Most of us know about our awful genetics and aren't delusional

>>5900031
Omg you are so pretty!!

>>5900034
Body wise i'm not tooo bad if i'd lose all my weight and put it back on (which i try to do in the near future)
But facewise i'm fucked without ffs
Especially my chin and chaw are bad and i can't even hide it

>>5900036
The trans identity makes up a huge portion of who we are. For those that don't pass/blend well into society will
Often have a more difficult life.

That is a very hard pill to swallow.

>>5899946
I remember being scared my parents were going to find out I was a girl in a boy's body.
I realized after awhile how dumb that was, clearly I was a boy, I had the penis and everything.
I never did anything particularly girly, I was afraid I would be punished for it.
They over-disciplined my older brother, maybe. I had a fear of getting in trouble and wanted to remain the good child.
When my little sister was born when I was about 11 I was jealous because they had a "real girl" and there was no way I could be the girl of the family anymore.
I dreaded puberty and I think my body was putting it off as long as possible.

Everything I noticed from puberty made me sink further away from caring about my body. I no longer really saw it as me. It was just a tool and I hated looking at myself in the mirror.

I didn't believe I could have an adam's apple. I thought I pill capsule was stuck in my throat.

At about 16 I found out about trans people. I felt it was hopeless already.

Mom caught on to my depression at 17, kept me home and asked me what was wrong. Told her I was gay, then told her I wasn't exactly gay, I "wanted to be a girl". Was sent to see a psychologist a month later.

In that month I was looking for answers, found an online Christian cult and hoped religion could fix me. They even had an end of the world date when God's kingdom would come to earth after the "end of days". I stayed in that for five years. Made it through one push back for the end of the world date. It decided where I went to college so I would be closer to a gathering. I dropped out of school because muh depression.

At 23, after the second failure for Christ to return I lost my faith completely. I was in a dead end job starving and I became a very bitter person.

>>5900037
I don't understand how you're saying that when I've seen plenty of pretty girls who post on here.

>>5900039
Can I see your face? Unsee it.

>>5899998
>>5899999
:d

>>5900044
>pretty
Most of us just know how to take flattering angles

>>5900048
How is this different from cis girls?

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>>5900038
lol no no no thats not me, its from the "hope folder". I hope to have ffs as successfully as she did, cause my nose a big

>>5900040
Being trans is a hard and bitter pill to swallow but it seems like a lot of trans girls forget that we are human beings and we need to start acting like one if you want the respect we deserve. Being bogged down by it isn't going to do anything for you. It seems like there's a great deal of deliberation with little action here. What the fuck is picking out masculine flaws in cis women going to do for you? You are poisoning your mind with false hope.

>>5900048
Faye said I look better irl than in pics. The hugboxing never stops

>>5900048
I believe there are genuinely attractive girls here. Maybe I'm wrong, but I've met girls from /cd/ who were gorgeous.

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>>5900048
For every good picture I take there are dozens failures. Pic related.

>>5900044
I'm on my phone atm
I posted in the passing thread, i think it's the third pic or something
I have other shit going on too like a giant jew nose but the chin is the worst
Already booked my ffs though

>>5900062
I always thought you were pretty Rawr.

>>5900062
You still look like a girl?

>>5900035

Post a pic from around that time. I don't believe that, senpai. I looked a lot less manly than I thought I did when I looked through my photo album, so I wouldn't be surprised if your exaggerated insecurities of the time warped your memory of yourself.

>>5900064
I am not r... You know what? Whatever...

>>5900062
If that's you at your worst, you've got it good

>>5900062
Please get rhinoplasty ASAP. Chin too omg.

>>5900064

I believe rawr was balding, if the general wasn't messing with me a while ago.

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>tfw noone on this general seems to have a clue what they actually look like to other people

>>5900043
I still have a lot of self-hatred from those years in "the church".

I'm 25 now. Some days I feel 45. I'm still a huge loser. Most of my friends are seriously dating or getting married. I broke down a few months before I turned 25. I wanted to "take care" of myself since I was getting old. Lost some weight, started shaving agian, washed my face more often, just tried to care again about this thing in the mirror. After a while I realized it was never going to be enough. I just hated what I saw. I didn't like the masculinity in the mirror. No amount of maintainance was going to make me like myself. I remembered all the repressed thoughts and memories I had.

I still have kind of a baby face. A lot of strangers comment on my eyes. I broke down and posted a really bad photo here last week and you guys kind of talked me down and said I wasn't "too bad".

I've been seeing a therapist for a few months now. Seeing an endo this Tuesday after crying like a bitch to a physician. That physician was the first doctor visit since I was 19 (I've been poor for a while).

I can only kind of hope since puberty started late and I'm not too masculine I have a bit of hope left. I hear HRT makes you look a bit younger as well. The biggest problem will be my nose, but I've kind of gotten over it.

I don't even want to socially transition. I don't care about pronouns or my name. It'd be nice if strangers gendered me female and the people that already know me saw me as more feminine. If things get too weird at work I'll change jobs after 6 months or something.

>>5900063
I tried to look for a pass thread but there doesn't seem to be one. I would like to see what you look like.

>>5900077
ffs-anon have shit hair too.

>>5900080
Just passgen
It has the pic of a bearded guy in a dress as OP
If it's not still up it's very high in the archive

>>5900043
>>5900079
Thanks for taking the time to type it out :) I'm glad you're finally taking steps to move forward, anon

>>5900061
Like who?

So what are these "male privileges" I'm giving up?
People love to talk about them but I can't recall any specifics ever mentioned.

The only example I can remember given is that if you seem female you're generally considered not knowledgeable about the subject at hand.

>>5900031
>this picture of successful ffs
there wasn't even anything wrong in the before pic
>>5900051
>no hump
get on my level :^)

>>5900089
Yeah I'm looking at it now. You look like a cis girl to me, unless that's not an accurate representation of what you look like? What do you want to get out of your FFS results?

>>5900096
I'm not naming names in case I forget anyone to make them feel like shit, but there's enough for me to forget at least a few at the moment.

Febreeze is just another creepy chaser

>>5900100
straight on probably had more tells than her profile.

>>5900104
>caring about people's feelings
Please leave then

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>>5900098
I gave up the ability to buy video games in brick and mortar stores without the staff treating me like an idiot.

>>5900094
Yeah, I'm working on the details of going back to school as well.

Oh! I forgot to mention, I came out to my dad last week. Apparently Mom never mentioned it to him. What the hell, Mom.

After I laid it out to him, told him how I've felt for a while and showed him some trans timelines of people in their 20's he kind of accepts how weird it is and just wants me to be able to get on with my life. I didn't use the word "trans"' or "transition" or anything though. I didn't want him google imaging that shit. The only term I gave him was gender dysphoria and said that's the term the therapist gave.

>>5900106
I don't chase mtf girls, sorry. If being somewhat objective and trying to be nice when I can is considered chasing then maybe you should go chase your sanity.

>>5900110
Nah.

>>5900098
Always hated the "you're a guy so you have to know that"

>>5900101
It's kinda accurate in front view but my profile is 100% man
Also without make up
I want a more pointy chin, less broad jaw and a smaller non jew nose also some small stuff like hairline and liplift
I mean even my sister wants a nosejob that's not even trans related just shit genetics

>>5899977
I FUCKING KNEW IT HAHAHAHAHA

>>5900113
Well, I mean, that's not -too bad-. So from what I ever hear then basically male privilege is people think you know what you're doing.

Jokes on them. I've been faking it for over a decade now.

>it's a "my ribcage feels huge today" episode

>>5900119
Knew what?

>>5900104

>was extremely abrasive from their first post and told people they need to face the truth
>Suddenly doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings

Whaaat...?!

>>5900121
Eyyy kusuchinguri. Your name sounds like a Chinpokomon from South Park.

>>5900118
I can't comment further until I have seen your profile. You look pretty to me, but it's either your views are distorted from being damaged inside or you just know your face better than what I can see.

>>5900115
I'm glad that went well. Dads can be surprisingly okay with it.

Coming out to my dad was pretty much the same deal. I took him out to lunch and told him pretty bluntly, just said "I'm transgender", mentioned the pills he'd seen me taking (but never questioned) and said what was happening going forward.

Then I teared up like a loser and asked him if I could keep his last name, which I'd gone by my whole life, because he isn't my biological father. He was all supportive and junk, he said of course I could keep his name, and we're actually closer now that I'm out than beforehand.

I think he didn't know what to do with me as a boy, since I didn't like football or cars or alcohol - literally entirely what he is about.

>>5900124
That Mirin was a hon. But this is hilarious.

>>5900120
That's probably the main form of male privilege that a pretransition mtf would likely experience. There are probably other forms, but generally I would assume one would have to act unquestionably masculine and be comfortable with that to experience them. Chances are good that noone here really ever experienced much privilege.

Being assumed unknowledgeable is pretty bad if you work in a technical field, but it is still possible to earn people's respect, and generally I've found once I've proved myself in a group setting that there's little difference in how I'm treated compared to pretransition.

>>5900125
I only tap into my inner bitch for tough love when you need it.

>>5900121
>feels
but my ribcage IS huge
;_;

>>5900130
Ok hon

>>5900136
Post pic so we can all have a laugh.

>>5900140
>hons berating hons

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>tfw ywn be petite

>>5900139
trip on mirin

>>5900139
What? It's funny as fuck

>>5900126
god i wish my chin was my problem lol

>>5900132
Even if i did all the stuff right and were the best in theory people were always like "yeah, you can't do shit'
Seems like i never had male privilege

>>5900146
trip on mirin
>>5899963

>>5900130
That's not her

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>>5900144
>hons greentexting

>>5900145
Some things were just not meant to be anon.

>>5900129
The only thing of those three I like is alcohol. And I didn't until I financially bankrupted myself with my summer abroad. Lots of cheap beer and sake. Growing up I also hated the taste.

Very worth it though. No one "knew" who I was so I was free to act like a weird, skinny faggot. The guys saw me naked all the time because onsens and knew I shaved everything. They caught me looking a few times too. The host family thought I was literally the cutest ("ichiban kawaii"). I guess it helped they expected the stereotypical blue-eyed blonde 180cm American with the big nose. Maybe it was my mannerisms. Bleh, I'm rambling.

>>5900156
Wow Japs sound gay.

>>5900145
This look like it was photoshopped. Yet so real. Why I'm 5'11? why!? Couldn't one of the /r9k/ guy get it?

>>5900145
>>5900161
H-hey, Taylor Swift is our height so there's hope.
Just gotta get skeleton thin so we don't look thick...

>tfw literally the tallest even in trans support groups

>>5900130
Not mirin, at all

She's much prettier

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>>5900151
Frankly most people thought I was dumb for other reasons, mostly because I was young. I transitioned before I was of an age that I could be taken seriously, so I guess I didn't experience much privilege either.

I'm about to try gel eyeliner for the first time. I hope you didn't lead me astray Edie >.>;;

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>>5900161
;_;

>>5900031
before looks like a cis girl with a bigger nose
after looks like a sweaty genderqueer emocore singer

>>5900171
>tfw didn't transition young
>sadfrogpic
Shit, i should just go fulltime right away

>>5900156
Ahh that must have been great. I was too self-conscious about being a baka gaijin to do anything that might make me stand out like that...

>>5899892
Hilarious hearing femgen cry 'this isn't right I'm a boy!' When it comes to tits they grew cause of their choice to take hormones.

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>>5900169
>tfw mtf

>>5900170
>>5900154
>>5900144
>hons defending hons
We've come full circle

Lmao my wings are gonna be super droopy and uneven
>>5900193
I'm rly mad that u called me a hon u little b1tch

>>5900181
>>5900156
That said, I did my first underage drinking in Japan lol, got... really drunk :s

>>5900198
Ain't I a stinker

>>5900193
You don't even know what I look like

And mirin has never posted her face under her trip..


>logic

>>5900198
you're not a hon maddie, you just need to lose some weight to get rid of those bulldog bulge droops

>>5900199
Me too! I was 19 at the time but no one cards gaijin.

A Japanese salaryman bought me my first beer. I was riding a bullet train in the evening on my first day there, hauling fucking roller suitcases around. After he offered me a seat he bought two beers from the girl making her rounds selling food and drinks and gave me one. At first I refused but then accepted.

We made small talk with my limited knowledge. He asked me my age and I admited I was 19. He laughed and told me not to tell anyone that.

It was only one beer but I was joyfully buzzed by the time my stop came.

>>5900178
>>5900100
ok ok, i only saved it cause i was feeling bad about my nose that day

aight now im off to that stupid audition. peace

>>5900051
looks like this girl i went to college with

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heyo kids, its been aaaages

>tfw 6'4

>>5900100
>>5900107
>tfw don't mind my nose straight on
>tfw nose bump
>tfw younger sister and mom have identical noses and I have my dad's
fff

>>5900217
your eyes are really pretty

>>5900135

I think it's just that you mellowed out over the course of an hour of talking to these people personally. ;P

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>tfw you have a cute face and decent tits, but no ass

Sigh... could be worse things, I suppose.

>>5900221
looks like sheen's eyes

>>5900209
All the poz bbcs i suck like big fluffy bears like me anon

>>5900210
That's hella cute desu

I was surprised alcohol was so cheap and accessible desu. I bought a litre of tequila for like, $10 from a supermarket, but I didn't have any grasp of moonspeak at the time so I couldn't have any cute encounters with salarymen like you.

>>5900224
that's not a very nice thing to say considering sheen passed away last night

>>5899977
what the hell that's my 40 year old tech support uncle in a wig... i knew he was eerily good about my pronouns at Christmas after I hadn't seen him in a year... i never even came out to him

>>5899972
you, i like you

i just spent 15 minutes waiting in a post office queue to buy some stamps and post a letter before my boss comes in to bank last night's takings, he hands me a stamp and jeez what a load of time wasted

>>5900222
Not really. You can go fuck yourself.

>>5900230
>this happened

I wish I had another trans person to talk to. I've never even met a trans person irl. I have so many questions, and /lgbt/ often ignores me :(

Oh well I'll just continue shit posting here for a while.

>>5900230
WHAT????~

>>5900234
Google for a local support group. You'll find one.
You won't like what you find when you show up, but they'll be there. Wiser than you from age.
Or younger than you and all AFAB NB with unnatural hair colors and incredibly spheroid.

>>5900240
spheroid afab enbys are all my city has, tfw no qt trans grills to bully

>>5900209
>has a huge body
>not a hon

>>5900225
maddiexkorra when

>>5900234
Same, but I'm Australian so I'm used to feeling like an outsider in online communities ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ meeting people in person won't work because I'm socially retarded lol.

>>5900232

I don't know why that offends you, anon. (°-°)

>>5900246
I think the old hons and afab nb's scare them away. I've been to 3 meetings so far. A young, passing mtf showed up once. Her voice wasn't perfect but it wasn't particularly low and it fit her personality.

One more meeting until I can admit to my therapist I tried and don't want to make it a regular thing.

>>5900253
i am also a socially retarded australian!!! but its wayy too late and i am exhausted from a good modest mouse concert so ni ni~

>>5900253
Tbh I wouldn't mind having an online trans friend just to text or something. I just want advice at times

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Digging the gel eyeliner desu. Super glad I got a makeup lesson from Edie <3

>>5900261
But not queenslander ;-;, everyone is in Melbourne or Sydney ;-;

>>5900258
It didn't. I was just showing I can still hard post.

>>5900267
How big is your chest/underbust

>>5900266
Are you in the discord? There's friends lists on discord now, so it might be worth looking at. I'm in there, if you'd like to add me, although I don't ever post because I dun wanna disturb the trips

>>5900276
My measurements are really shitty, 36-32-40

>>5900266
>tfw therapist wanted you to get to know an older mtf who was also one of her patients
>tfw you didn't realize you met her before so you didn't think it was her at the meeting
>tfw you realize you were probably supposed to introduce yourself
>tfw she seemed distraught last time she showed up (3 weeks prior) and probably just needed a friend
>tfw you consider if it would have been worthwhile to have an older mtf friend who could have helped you with make up and hair and things
>tfw you didn't go get pancakes with her after your therapist suggested in the text

I feel bad for not trying. She's probably a very lonely person.

If she's there next time I'll introduce myself to her properly.

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>4mo ago
>lose shit because....ya know
>travel around, to nola, to memphis etc etc
>back to old life
>stop aabusing benadryl & alc
>start abusing cough syrup
>steal bottles, extract, stash
>on the equivalent of 2.5 5floz bottles of delsym per day for 2 months straight
>holyfuckshitismovingsofastwhereiseverywhatHOLYFUCK.webm

basically in those 2 months i wrote an album, rekindled really important friendships, played LOTS of music, wrote a lot. was the most social i have ever been.

after i stopped taking dxm i felt really good and started tackling the dysphoria issue or whatever...

i dunno.

i'm getting the first blood panel this week and then the next i have a follow up appt.

But now i've gone and shit on every. single. friend. i had because i have been shut in my room cause i just got really fucking sad, and i just kept on doing this to make my situation shittier.


now i'm here and i realize that i always fuck it all up, it's like i'm addicted to feeling like ruined shit.

anyone else got these feels?

ugh i dunno how to explain it.
i really would like to sink to the bottom of a deep lake and never come up...

>>5900267
Did you find the lines on your forehead decreased after hrt? Or at least became finer? I have some subtle ones as well.

>>5900280
I'm not really sure what discord is.... Is this some other lgbt chat?

I have kik though.

>>5900281
Thought your underbust was like 40

>>5900288
No I wear a 36b
>>5900286
Idrk honestly. They don't really bug me

>>5900283
Self-destruction seems to be a pretty common issue with the peeps in /mtfg/, at least. It's where most of their drama comes from, if you keep up with that. Maybe it's the trans thing to do, idk

>>5900272

Oh, you got me good then.

>>5900290
>They don't really bug me
And they shouldn't. With your darker hair and eyes I think they "fit" your face.

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>Sleep for 14 hours
>Dream vividly
>I'm arguing with people in my dreams
>On my way to work
Worst part is it started out with me fondling my sisters friend and then it turned into shit, some daycare nannies took up the whole road with their babycarriages and began arguing with me, and then some faggots see the argument and scold me and a goddamn bee kept entering my mouth whenever I tried defending myself.

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measurements are 38 hips - 27 waist - 30 underbust - 35 bust

now if i wasn't 5'10 and didn't have 16 inch width between my linebacker shoulders then maybe i'd have a chance of my body passing.

>>5900154
>her
KEK

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>>5900302
Iktf

>>5900302
How does one measure shoulders? Like this?

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>>5900310
shit

>>5900296
Shut up.

>>5900310
you can measure all the way around your shoulders and get measurements of around 38 inches or so (what it is for me) or you can do interbrachial which is literally tape measure across your back, one shoulder to the other. i get 16.

>>5900287
There are soo many different social apps lol. There's a link to the Discord in the OP of mtfg. Kik works too, although I just installed it lol

I'm CuddleLuster I think?

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Goodmorning everyone! How are you today?
What's the best way to stop being sore in every part of your body btw?

>>5900320
Take a bath in lidocaine

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Showers are the best thing evar

>>5900311
you are generally wider at the front, considering collar bones, and adjusting for curvature, so across the front i'm 18 inches wide, across be back, between 15 and 16 (closer to 16). providing your posture isn't shit, across your back gives you a straighter more accurate measurement. tailors do it when measuring for suits

>>5900319
Cool sent a message, otherwise will try discord

>>5900324
>tfw elanna will never gaze longingly at u with her big anime eyes

>>5900324
what about baths w/ bath balls or epsom salt?

>>5900327
Alright, I gotchu, but it's like, 2am in Aus, so I'm gonna go ahead and bed myself, since nobody else will ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So obvious that you're all guys. It's the skeleton structure and the man faces that give it away.

Honestly you're better off just being a feminine boy. At least you aren't lying to yourself that way.

>>5900320
Mornin! I feel pretty okay tho my tracking number for my HRT re-up doesn't work and I'm almost out of E. It probably just wasn't scanned but I'm still in panic mode. How are you?

Could try OTC painkillers like ibuprofen or hot patches but if you really need to kill pain there is always alcohol/drugs.

>>5900324
post after bath soles

>>5900332
Oh alright, goodnight :P

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>>5900325
I didn't realize this. This is good to know.

Looks like I'm about 17" across the back. I'll fucking take that for now.

>>5900324
Absolutely Feminine

>>5900333
trips of truth?

why do you feel the need to shit on an already marginalized group of people?

>>5900328
*gives u tha look*

>>5900331
Baths are OK for relaxing but I never really bother because they take up too much time, much prefer showers for getting clean.

>>5900337
N-no ;~;

>>5900340
:^)

>>5900341
Just being honest

>>5900324
i usually step out of the shower looking like i've been crying
[spoiler]because of crying[/spoiler]

>tfw no poz bf to inject u with his high viral love load

>>5900341
Because you stir shit up and cause drama unlike cute feminine boys. Who do you think's leading the charge of the SJW movement? It's crazy women and trannies.

Each tranny looks like a grotesque twist on something beautiful, and on less cute guy to meet.

So what if you're feminine, you're still a guy

>>5900347
i know this feel

>>5900350
>>>/pol/

>>5900333
hello repression me we've been over this already we are NOT better off as a feminine boy that route.
>>5900321
I dont think i have enough of that lol
>>5900334
Oh shoot, good luck! Hoping it arrives in time~. I'm pretty sore from my airsoft adventure yesterday and dealing with dsyphoria and related stuff but otherwise I'm alright. I'm on spring break, I automatically feel good!

>>5900350
why are you acting as if i do those things? its like saying all gay people are flamers. i never understood why you think that gives you types a free pass to be poisonous to other people. its 4chan so it doesnt matter in the end but not all trans people are like that. the behaviour you point out is disgraceful but so is the type of shit youre doing now.

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>>5900350
B for bate. go back to /pol/ memes

>>5900339
skinny girls generally have around 14, like 16 is female average but think of all those fat women out there, 16 shoulders is a uk women's size 14 (average size too but also getting towards plus size?). it can make clothes shopping awkward, my butt and legs are a 14, my body is a 12, my shoulders are 14, so its a coinflip between wearing something tight where the arms end up shorter or wearing something that fits my shoulders and arms but swamps my body and hides my curves. oh and each store and brand has different measurements for sizing so shopping is way awkward and everything has to be tried on. i mean because my body was kinda weird shaped before transition guy clothes were all 'boyfriend' fit but i kinda care about fits and cuts and showing my bod off now.

but srsly 17 inches isn't the worst. i'm p sure jenner has had fat injections, implants and wears padded clothes, but clearly has 18 inch plus shoulders. fucking beast

>>5900350
>Crazy women
All women are crazy desu

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>alarm goes off, look over at the other side of the bed happily without thinking
>tfw i forgot it was empty

>>5900358
>bait

>>5900354
Thanks! Glad you had fun. I miss spring break. I need a break. Though my last break was only a week and it really hurt my wallet.

>>5900350
Get rejected by a tranny?

>>5900361
Did you move?
How does it feel to make Faye cheat on her gf?

>>5900361
aww. Don't worry faye will be back there soon enough.
(⊃≧ω≦(´ω｀*⊂)

>>5900350
its funny because theres a lot of half truths here so people are responding. good post for bait desu

>>5900007
>>5900015
>Now don't be silly. Genetics play a bigger part in it
>tfw started at 22 and pass easily
>tfw could've started at 15 and looked literally like an irl anime girl but had to push it back/was lazy

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>>5900361
>tfw it is always empty
wait...
>tfw don't even have an other side of bed

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>>5900362
I'll get you next time gadget

NEXTTT TIMMMEEEEEEEEE

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>tfw looked more masculine at 17 hitting those T shots hard like some kind of dress down Oscar Wilde
>tfw at 20 looked like a drag king
>tfw at 25 looked like a french homo
>tfw at 26 look like a heaving hormonal teenage pile of ambiguous gender small titty faggot clowns

>>5900366
Meh her gf was a bitch. Maybe Faye can wear a dress to her an Edie's wedding

>>5900370
>buy a bigger bed
>Find a man/woman/otherkinpolyphonic
Why do you people bitch so much? this shit is easy.

>>5900359
Yeah, thankfully not all seems as hopeless as I once thought years ago.

Everything is kind of marginally "close enough". Maybe after a year or two on HRT I can lose some width. I'm sure there's muscle in there to lose somewhere.

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>view fb
>friend rants about laura Jane grace's new book titled tranny
>friend goes ape shit and plans taking a video of her burning her vinyl copy of LJG's transgender dysphoria Blues

Why are some many trannies crazy?

>>5900382
it can happen fast, i've lost almost an inch in 7 months since starting mones

whats up sadness general?

>>5900386
its a shit album so i don't blame her

>>5900389
Sweet. Can wait to be smaller and slightly squishier.

Any experience losing any height yet? Seems to be a lot of first-hand accounts of losing an inch or two.

>>5900386
we're all crazy. Not just transgender people. Consider this: currently I'm in bed being cold instead of getting a shower and being productive. I also have a power cord that needs replacing and have the money to do it but I don't do it and I constantly complain about it.

>>5900390
Not so sad today beeps, I'm going to play some crusader kings 2 today and buy some stuff hopefully.

>>5900390
i'm sad, you?

>>5900392
Yeah but still isn't that a bit on the extreme side?
That's like me burning all my games that make jokes about trans people

>>5900397
do not be sad anon

I must give you the hugs
─=≡Σʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ

>>5900390
hey beepy mcbeepface, im not sad, i went into town and i feel great, seriously so positive ^______^ i'm way weird looking androgynous, i don't exactly pass as female but i really don't pass as male, i feel so sexy and smiling i feel like i rule the world like some sorta hermaphrodite amazon queen everything is great

>>5900312

You can stop the act, anon. I get it.

>>5900390
I hated myself 8 hours ago because I thought how dumb it was to transition at 25.

Then I realized I can just do whatever I want with it and life isn't over at 30.

So I was feeling about 7/10 yesterday.
Rocking about a 5.5 today.
Just about ready to rob some trannies of their spiro though.

>>5900399
Well I mean its their shit to do what they want to. I've seen people throw PS3s and PCs out of windows.

Jesus christ captia quit making me look at food. I'm in bed and you're making me hungry

>>5900395
nah i gained an inch in height by unfucking my posture. the height loss is due to minor osteoporosis and my bones are iron fampai

>>5900414
>height loss is from minor osteoporosis
I heard there might me some truth to muscle loss leading to a slight drop. Also something about hip rotation/posture changes.

Oh well either way, as long as I don't get a growth spurt I won't cry about it.

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>>5900363
My wallet hates me lately, I need a job. And a permanent break from college ugh.

>>5900396
hey thats great! keep that sad away!
>>5900397
im sorry anon. im sure it will pass. *hugsu*
>>5900401
right?? andro life is best. you dont have to BE anything except cute. and with the right outfit anyone can be.
>>5900407
hey thats right! just enjoy yourself. glad youre doing okay. i increased my spiro dose finally so pls dont come steal it.

>>5900434
well I'm not sad usually beeps. Its just a comon thing in the room. I personally want to give a hug to whoever is sad though.

>>5900434
idk i feel intimidating looking enough that even tho i live in a conservative ass-backwards area i literally get no hassle, as a guy i had people fucking with me, and people catcalling me from cars and harassing me for looking like a faggot or a weakling. passing properly would be nice but idk being cute and andro is kind of nice too. i'm so dead down the middle that no-one gives me shit or hits on me, i get looks of interest from women and i just feel like a model most of the time, everything feels like a catwalk and all i get to do is walk, strut, and feel amazing

>>5899961
Holy shit is that a mtf?

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>>5900386
I didn't like the album at first but now I like it. Also I have used the word tranny at my clinic and around other irl trans people and they all get in my face about it. Try to go to Susans chat and use the word tranny and see how they react, its silly.

>>5900427
I'm trying to will myself to do another round of applications for a 2nd job atm. Being trans like srsly needs to become less expensive.

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>>5900444
I need to send out some today, too. And call up a place I sent an application to a while ago. I should have just went back to working full time instead of going back to college, I wasn't ready for it. :/

>>5900404
No you're starting to annoy me now.

>>5900443
>advice from a budding young hon

>>5900448
I don't give a fuck anymore. Mtfg is the only place filled with people who are mean to me. I see now I would rather get hugboxed than to be told to kill myself or that I am worthless like everyone here does.

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>>5900441
Yep

>>5900446
I went from college to fulltime work. I was poor as fuk in college. Then I had lotsa money but worked 24/7. Now I'm poor but transitioning. I need to be better about calling places back, no one ever calls me.

>>5900443
Be nice to others as much as possible. The world is hard and cold and everyone is struggling. We can't see the problems of others.

It's not our job to play judge and jury, to determine who is worthy of our kindness and who is not. We just need to be kind, unconditionally and without ulterior motive, even or rather, especially when we'd prefer not to be.

>>5900452
Time to off myself

>>5900455
What does that have to do with the word tranny?

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>>5900452
My phone is with samsung still so I dont even know if they TRIED to call me. And yeah I did this.
>get job
>go to college
>work job more than I have time to study
>drop half my classes and finish the semester
>keep attending next semester but depression and dysphoria hit me again so I drop out of college
>work full time (over time a lot too) until like October/November when I decide to stop repressing and can't work anymore because my emotions are so crazy
I miss having money and not worrying about grades. It would be really nice if all I had to do was just drag myself through a shitty shift and then pas out when I get home instead of having the stress of impending failure in college looming over me.
>Yep
I'm with >>5900456 let's do it

>>5900456
Don't think that way. I learned passers are pretty much the most evil people alive so don't envy them because karma will fuck them soon.

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>>5900455

Marry me.

>>5900463
>person that is least nice to others wants nice person to be their partner

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>hope

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What?
WHAT!?
Fucking people

>>5900466
Stop, you pass, are full time, and have a job. I would sell my soul to have a quarter of what you have so stop complaining.

>>5900465
Was I ever mean to you? I'm probably sorry about it. I never feel good about being cruel to others, even if I do it sometimes.

>>5900457

Well you probably were using it for kicks to get a rise out of someone right? I mean you can call people names or stuff they don't like or stuff they feel uncomfortable with

Its getting a laugh at somebody else's expense right? I think that that's just a minor form of bullying that is about making yourself feel better about your situation while putting the other person down.

Regardless I'm not trans myself so I can't really say but... I've always thought it is a good idea to err on the side of caution when saying stuff that could potentially offend someone.

Why the fuck is dysphoria getting worse after hrt? I thought this shit was supposed to get better or am I just fucking broken?

>>5900455
i end up doing that, people upset me and hurt me, and in turn i want to upset and hurt them. the worst i end up doing is usually continuing being the same while secretly enjoying their misery without taking a part in it. people who treat others badly usually have bad lives themselves. i soon go back to being stupidly kind, understanding and trying to help people. it's just my nature. i've had people tell me bullshit like 'don't let adversity change you' 'don't let other people's cruelty make you cruel' and 'don't become cold and hard' and desu its impossible for me to, even if i think it's bullshit and i want to be mean and spiteful right back. your character and your nature is just your nature, so i agree with you totally, but bad people often have bad lives. while they are as deserving as kindness as everyone else, kindness doesn't do anything for them, the whole 'love thy neighbor' attitude when thy neighbor fucking hates you for existing, kindness can confuse and rile them up even more, that's sorta fun i guess but its more about you feeling better personally being kind than them receiving kindness, but maybe that's the point ^^

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>>5900458
I miss only worrying about whether I'd be able to afford new games. The stress of not having anything saved for SRS plus wait times is killin' me.

>>5900456
Girls these kinds of pics are supposed to inspire hope! Backfired big time but I still think its better than looking at uggo transwomen.

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>>5900463
I'm probably not your type. However I appreciate the idea.

Have a reward gif for making me feel good!

>>5900482
Too bad most of us are uggo

>>5900475
I was calling myself a tranny.

>>5900482
With uggo trans people it's at least the
>i look like shit but at least i don't look THAT bad
With pretty girls you're just like
>why haven't i started earlier

>go on dating site
>filter to only women
>first listing is a man talking about his big dick

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>>5900474
HURT ME CADDY

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>>5900113
>buying video games in brick and mortar stores
This isn't the 90's anymore, we have Amazon and Steam and such, there's literally no reason to step inside a physical store to buy video games these days. (But it really was a magical experience back when I was a kid; up there with looking through the video game rental aisles at Blockbuster with friends, going to one of their houses for a sleepover and then playing whatever crappy game and / or watching whatever crappy movie we decided to beg the parent that had taken us to rent for us. I feel sorry for modern kids that have never experienced these things.)

>>5900479
You're probably not really trans

>>5900472
is it me or is that one girl being really really weird/catty?

>>5900474
post bulge

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>>5900497
>no reason
Used games

>>5900500
Every passing fulltimer is a catty fuckhead. Every damn one. Maddie last night basically told me to kill myself because she gets to party and I don't.

>>5900490
Even so, just be aware of other people's feelings and thoughts.

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>>5900494
Put 'em up

>>5900501
You first.

>>5900487
Someday anon...

>>5900492
Yeah admittedly that does get kinda old especially if they started at like 15 and are lamenting not starting at 12 or something.

>>5900502
Those are usually much cheaper online.

>>5900505
I don't get it? I can call myself a tranny, its not a bad word and its not a big deal.

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>>5900503
Lmao

>>5900500
Well the thread was about how your monday is so I'm decided to put in a joke.

The one girl is mad because I don't take offense to the word "Tranny"

>>5900499
Hold up, what are they dsyphoric about? If it was transforming into a girl then this is probably the case.
>>5900479
It gets better and worse. Overall I feel better but I hate myself being a boy so much more now! ^-^
I was just looking in the mirror and thought I was pretty cute and then the nice voice chimed in
>for a boy
I'm never gonna make it girls
Also how long have you been on HRT? Maybe you're just in the super emotional phase still like I am

>>5900511
>not posting the comment you made to trigger my reaction, just posting the one trying to make me look bad
>posting all your cool fancy phone widgets up top to dig into me even more that I don't have a good enough phone
you are garbage

>>5900510
I'm just saying don't try to offend anyone. It does offend people correct?

>>5900509
After shipping and currency conversions, it's cheaper and more convenient to just go to the store in Canada. Besides, I like bin digging, it's more satisfying when you find something.

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bluhhhh I'm going home today. my layover is like... an hour? which isn't bad at all. I'm gonna say bye to my Portland friends before I leave and I hope I don't get cry or something lol.

how are you doing Mtfg? I've been so wrapped up in this shit that I haven't checked in and seen how ppl are doing in the way that I should and I'm sorry even tho I know it doesn't matter much if I know about ur life or ask you about it.

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>>5900494
Eyyy Chubskie.

>>5900506
Eyyy Kandi.

>>5900511
Eyyy Mads.

>>5900516
I won't stop using the word tranny on myself. I never used it to refer to someone else in person.

>>5900521
Hey bb how are you!?
>>5900518
I'm flying home tonight too ;_; you better come visit me before you move!!

>>5900522
It's offensive for you to appropriate language for transwomen and use it on yourself.

>>5900499
Plz be true

>>5900513
two weeks. It's hit at fucking light speed though. My skin/smell/hair have changed dramatically. started to be gendered female now and again in guy mode.

It's this whole transition it's shit. I fucking hate being trans. I hate being this big manly fucking monster. I spent all day crying yesterday because it's just too hard. I can't take it. And can't take myself

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>tfw i moved back home

>tfw not used to no privacy

;~;

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>>5900121
>it's a beach episode
>can't wear female swimsuit because not out and would look absurd given masculine features anyways
>can't wear male swimsuit because all my friends will see my boobs and ask embarrassing questions I'm not ready to answer
>can't just wear normal shirt because it'll cling to my boobs once it gets wet; even worse if it's a white shirt with thin fabric
>can't even wear wetsuit because they're so shape-fitting that both boobs and bulge will be obvious
It's okay, I'll just stay on the beach building sand castles and looking for sharks' teeth I guess, that's fun too...

>>5900518
Til I'm pretty chill

>>5900503
>>5900511
Kayla you refuse to even TRY working hard. You could be in great places now if you did. Go for a swim in your pool "poor kid".

>>5900517
Oooh I wouldn't know Canadian pricing. And bin diving can indeed be fun. I usually do Amazon and free shipping if I'm patient. Sometimes craigslist has good deals too if I don't wanna wait.

>>5900522
Just use it where you feel it can do the least harm then.

If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them

Thats what I'm trying to get across.

>>5900531
Hi joan.

Thanks for being nice to me last night.

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>>5900525
rekt

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>>5900528
Sorry anon but you sound trans. Don't let the difficulty of transition get you down, just take it one thing at a time. Small stuff you can work on and eventually all the pieces will be together in one big pretty picture that is you.

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>>5900538
Joan is one of the nicest people here

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>>5900473
1/3 senpai. I have a job, and that's about it. I'm like perma boy mode desu.

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>>5900503
I'm far from catty

>>5900536
I don't know how the word tranny is bad.

>>5900535
I do work hard. Not my fault hrt didn't work for me, not my fault I don't have money for stylish clothes and all the makeup in the world, not my fault my hair is red so I can't do laser.

>>5900525
I am trans and I am not going to be forced to defend myself here of all places.

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>>5900524
I am sick as a dog mads. Otherwise I wouldn't be here.
And please don't call me "bb" it's kinda weird.

>>5900549
You forgot to mention your jaw.

>>5900320
I know it's a cliche, but "take two aspirin".

>>5900549
How are you perma boy mode if you wear makeup outside? I don't wear makeup ever really and yet you always have it on so how are you not fulltime?

>>5900551
no angie, you could be possible one of the most catty trannies there is.