Bi General: Dating Edition

Haven't dated anyone in my life, but I have flirted with a couple of lesbians before, and they were immediately turned off when I said I was bisexual.
>mfw

I'm a gay guy who met a really nice and friendly looking, cute guy at university. I liked him from the start. He drew hearts on my notebooks and things and later on he told me he was bi. I don't know when I told him I was gay, but he'd just laugh off the flirting with me.

It was a waste of my whole undergrad as he changed girlfriends and later on got serious for about 4-5 years with a girl only to return to his high-school girlfriend, the one he was initially long-distance dating when we first started university.

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Straight people don't really care I find.

I wanna say bis don't care either but I've seen a surprising amount of OKC profiles that say sleeping with someone who's bi is a deal breaker.

Gays don't take it seriously. Based on my own experience they're the crowd who always assumes we're just a bunch of homos stuck in the closet.

>>5465441

Maybe he didn't want to ruin your friendship together? Maybe he was too shy to make the first move?

>>5465441
Just because somebody is attracted to your gender doesn't mean they're attracted to you.

Gay guys don't seem to get this. Just because I'm fucking some girl instead of you doesn't mean I don't want to sleep with men, it means I don't want to sleep with you.

>>5465486
Nah, I asked him out a few times, but he said he wasn't interested. Even though I've had a partner for years and years I still think about him sometimes. I'm an idiot.

>>5465500
>Fucking this
Most underrated post of 2k15

>>5465500
Well, at the time I was pretty attractive, but I guess you could be right, as the only indirect compliment from him was when his mother said I was hot.

>>5465502

It might have just been a platonic friendship to him then, you know the way some girls write little messages on each other's notebooks in high school.

I learned a long time ago to never assume flirty behaviour = attraction. Some people are just teases to everyone and it sucks.

>>5465523

My girlfriend does this and legitimately does not understand why everyone likes her. I think she's ASD or something.

>>5465500
Pretty much this. A lot of guys in general seem to fall under this category, actually. It's decidedly annoying.

>>5465509
Just because you are or were attractive doesn't mean he wants to sleep with you either. You might not be his type or he just wants to be friends.

Another aside, not necessarily about you. What is it with gay guys and ego? I mean, be confident but pull your own dick out of your ass or mine isn't going in.

>>5465541
Right? Gay guys in general seem to have the biggest egos of any guys that I've seen. And that's saying something, given that I've been in the Army going on six years now.

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>>5465531

That would piss me off low key.

>>5465541
>flirts with me
>am attractive

>What is it with gay guys and ego?

Yeah, sorry to assume he might be interested in me.

>>5465544

She doesn't even like that it happens either is the thing that really gets me. I've tried to explain to her that she's kind of a flirt and I just get a blank stare back, and then she'll complain about it to me next time it happens.

>>5465410
>hangout with friends every tuesday
>meet a friend of a friend
>he's there often
>notice every single time I'm there his foot touches mine or my leg
>one time he asked me to sit on his lap, but definitely jokingly

>he's there with a girl one tuesday
>it's a costume party (Nightmare before Christmas themed!)
>I'm Watto from Episode I (lol), the girl is a genie
>Mention off-hand that Watto is a slave owner
>She says "Isn't that funny, I'm a slave" all sexy like
>dick is diamonds
>they sit together the rest of the night
>they're dating now

what do I with all this information

I am not sure how to feel about this

>>5465550
this

>>5465523
this is true but also silly. flirting would imply attraction.

>>5465565

Maybe give her a taste of her own medicine? Maybe she needs to see by example how she really acts.

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>>5465574

Not always. There's genuine flirting and people who flirt to be friendly because they don't know how to make connections any other way.

I'm refering to the later

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>>5465585
I'm not saying those people don't exist, just that flirting does imply attraction, even if it isn't genuine.

>>5465630

> just that flirting does imply attraction, even if it isn't genuine.

Okay. This part confuses me. How can attraction be anything but genuine?

Currently dating super hot female, she was surprised and shocked at first but later found out she has a pegging fetish
Works for me :)
Strapless flesh coloured strapons mang, the best

>>5465641
He meant the flirting not being genuine.

How do i get over the nervous hurdle and just start meeting other guys?

I tremble horribly if i have sex with someone and i dont really know them well, its really embarrasing :< but theres a couple of people ive been talking with who are really up for stuff, but i just cant seem to be brave enough.

Any advice?

>>5465745
Get to know them better?
One night stands aren't for errybody

>tfw you'd love a one night stand with a guy but all the guys on grindr are way out of your age bracket and theres no gay bar anywhere near

Guess i'm just going to have to stick with women for now.

>>5465849
Tinder might be a good option. Tbh, Grindr is just bad decisions 101.

>>5465567
it sounds like a bunch of random loosely connected stuff that happened in the past and there's nothing in particular to "do" with it nor any corresponding right way to "feel" about it

your friend is straight and you had a short conversation with his girlfriend shortly before they became a couple

that is literally it

>>5465410
Gay guy here. I've only had a serious-ish thing with a bi guy once.

He was pretty nice for the most part, just like any other guy you'd date. We were together four months. Not a lot of time, but I guess we were boyfriends.

He did mention a couple of times that he pictured himself married to a woman in the future, which kept me from getting fully invested into the relationship.

It was a good decision in the end, since shortly after we broke up I found out he was already sleeping with the girl that later became his gf.

ngl I was a little butthurt at first about it, but then I guess I understood the predicament he was in, and let's be honest, straight dating is easier than gay dating. Plus I was sort of expecting that to happen so it wasn't that bad.

>>5465889
Never considered tinder, though that was only for "straight" dating. I'll have to check it out!

>>5465931
Naw, lots of gay guys.

>>5465928
>Plus I was sort of expecting that to happen so it wasn't that bad.
literally cucked!

>tfw no bisexual bf to smash qtgrill guts with.

In Sweden, everyone is bisexual.

Why can't bi people date other bi people?
Bi virgin here

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>>5466455
Cause they've already all slept together.

>>5465500
Omg

Fucking this

>>5466464
>bisexual masterrace
>reading comprehension 0/10

It's almost like you become those women you date.

>highschool, realize I'm bi
>fucking 10/10 brazilian exchange student
>wears tiny fem nurse outfit on halloween
>certain he's gay, I must have
>also im dating grill
>start talking to him, draws me cute growlithe with my name and a heart
>omg he totally crushing on me too
>go over to his house and end up making out, blowjobs etc for the rest of his stay in America
>doesn't care about my gf, tells me I'm gay and boys are better
>goes back to Brazil and is now on TV there
>return to failing relationship with gf

Eventually broke up with her, brazilian is right. Boys are better. Hooked up with a few girls in the years after high school being single. Never really that into it. Met a qt gay online that lives within a reasonable driving distance, also furry trash like me. Been going steady for a year, doesnt care that I'm bi, feel like every time I suck his cock I'm becoming more gay, and can see myself staying with him for the rest of my life. If we do break up, I could probably date girls again but who knows. Might even be down for a 3 way with one if he was up for it.

>>5466507

For me I find my attraction to either gender comes in waves. A few years I'll be into girls, then for another few years I'll be into guys.

I'm in a pseudo-relationship with a dude right now but I'm starting to lean towards girls again. :/

>>5466507
Sexuality is a spectrum brah.

I'm more attracted to women but men are just better. Straight women are the worst. Super insecure and yet think they're God's gift to humanity. I like telling girls I'm gay when they get all bitchy so they shut the fuck up.

>>5466861
>gay by choice
Mah nigga

Im bi but as I have said before life aint like hometown buffet you have to choose between hotdogs or tacos at some point.

>>5466920
It's why bisexuality is the best thing in the world. I literally get to choose.

>>5466974
Man, I'm putting my hotdog in a taco shell and smothering that shit with sauerkraut and guac. Come at me.

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i'm just here to post is.

>tfw bi but Virgin with both and a wizard
Killing myself on New years

>>5467930
You know there are other things to live for right? Love is painful and pointless. You can pay people for sex and or masturbate in new and exciting ways that get you off better than any other person could.

Get a hobby, focus on your career and stop being a fucking sap.

>>5468229
>Love is painful and pointless
>focus on your career
No bully, but you sound like you focused on your job at Hot Topic. This is some edgy emo shit. I hope you have qt hair to make up for it. Fer real, smile pls. You are beautiful and smell nice.

>>5468262
Why must you always try to uplift these faggits? Are you trying to rescue them because you're running from your issues? Just post dick and let The Slutening begin you soft biscum

>>5466459
tbqh this is true.

>>5466455
Well if we could we would. It's so hard finding other bisexuals though.

>>5466507
That's qt man. Also same with the whole attarcation thing. One minute I'll want a girl because we'd be bond more romantically I think, but then the next minute I'll want a guy because...sex.

>>5467736
Actually weak
>kek

>>5466974
Bruh. You literally can't choose at any point when you're bi. That's the point. Just because you like a guy doesn't mean the attraction to girls will just fade away, and just because you likes guys doesn't mean the attraction to girls will fade away. Dating/marriage doesn't automatically erase your attraction senpai.

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Bi girl with a straight bf of a year. It came up naturally early in the friendship, pretty calm. Initially he seemed weirded out because I sounded like a guy (talking about how I was behind a hot girl in booty shorts for stretches through HS gym). He'll occasionally bring it up when relevant. But none of the threesomes/slut etc accusations. It's p chill

>>5465928
so he tells you he doesn't see a future in you because of your gender, then cheats on you? that's not excusable because he's bi, he's a shithead. also, raise your damn self esteem instead of waiting around for someone like that to cheat.

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>>5469457

If only everyone understood that.

>tfw bicurious but not enough to risk someone being my sexuality guinea pig
>tfw fantasize constantly but know it will never be
>tfw only gay feelings I've ever had crushed badly, have 0 same sex friendships since then, not sure if repressed homo or just anxiety
>tfw keep bisexuality to myself out of fear of rejection or disgust

>>5469756
That's awesome. Guys are wired to think about sex, just nature. Accept that he's going to be thinking about you and girls or you and him and girls. Probably your close friends.

If he's a good guy he won't do anything or will at least tell you about it and move on. Y'know, if it's not a shared fantasy.

>>5465500
YES, its like just because you like dudes you fucking owe them something. fuck em.

>>5469773
Well, it wasn't so much that I was waiting for him to cheat. It's just that when it happened I had to admit I wasn't surprised by it, and again I found out about it when we had already broken up, so there wasn't much I could do about it.

Him not being able to see a future with another guy was one of he big reasons why we broke up.

>>5465410
In high school I started dating my (now) spouse, My spouse thought I was a gay man, as well as their family, "Is he gay? Are you covering for him so his parents don't find out? We don't mind, you don't have to be pretending to date here." So when I was asked, I was like, "Wat? No, I'm bisexual." Fun times lemme tell ya.

Anyways, I went to college and Ky was a senior in high school. Ky thought that because I was bi, I would leave if I didn't have another partner who had a dick and kept pushing me to, "go experiment and get a boyfriend" and all that :| I almost did (basically only got as far as getting in bed no-pants-edition). I was super uncomfortable with it though, but it made our relationship pretty rocky for a few months.


We are married though, and Ky //still// worries that I'm someday going to want a "real man." Like for real, yes, I like men and women, and yes I still find them attractive, but I have like zero desire to be with anybody else.


Ky has the type of body that, while short, is the ideal proportions for a very attractive female model, and no dick. So Ky feels like no women are even close to competition, but males have a dick which Ky doesn't.

>>5471593
>they pronouns
>tumblr name
>no attempt to bind or relieve dysphoria, because it's not there

lol enjoy ur histrionic special snowflake girlfriend

The gays didnt openly care, but a couple clearly thought i was just bullshitting myself. The best one just forgot about it constantly and got weirded out for a second whenever i mentioned a girl was cute in a movie. I thought it was really adorable

Havent seen any girls since i came out desu, but by and large It's been much easier to make friends with them once they know.

>>5472321
>they pronouns
I do that normally with the queer community unless I am specifically corrected.
>tumblr name
:P That's actually Ky's born name.
>no attempt to bind or relieve dysphoria, because it's not there
There is *some* attempt :P And having known Ky in childhood, I'm pretty confident Ky is trans but doesn't want to deal with the crap. The things that will probably happen are a hysterectomy after we have a kid (or if science gets far enough or me to have one) and top surgery, but no hormones. And if science gets far enough to make homegrown, transplantable penises, that's also up for consideration. I'm basically the same way. I want an orchi after we have kids or I can afford to get it banked, or if science gets far enough to where I don't need my swimmers to have them lab made. And I don't want vaginoplasty, but if they can make home-grown parts, heck-freaking-yes.

>>5465500

I want to be sympathetic to gay guys here though, because even though I know there are super-queer bisexual guys who really know what it feels like to be oppressed, I'm totally a "bisexual privilege" type who is a double-asshole from both being able to pass as/think of themselves as straight but also doesn't need women so I've been able to get through life without my misogyny being reformed in any way.

>>5477024
That has absolutely nothing to do with what was being said.

Seems like whatever I'm interested in, I get the opposite coming to me.
When I'm looking for women, gay men are all over me, and when I'm actually looking for guys then suddenly they're nowhere to be found and women start chatting me up
also why does it seem so hard to find femine.girly boys who are into large masculine men?

I dated a guy and he knew from the beginning I was bi. We broke up and the main reason was because he was a desperate, creepy guy that wouldn't even try to get our relationship past the honeymoon phase. Instead of accepting that he was waaayy too pushy and growing from that, he decided the real reason I broke up with him was because I was craving pussy and not his dick. Kek

>tfw terrorfied to come out because have a parent who thinks gays and bis are the same thing as kiddy molesters

>>5467930

either start online dating account, or casually hang out at clubs and bars and see if anyone takes notice

maybe both.

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>never had a crush on a girl but strong sexual attraction
>crushes on guys but not sure if natural
>no sexual attraction to men
Maybe I just never met the right girl? I've had small ones but I've never been in love/obbsessive

>>5478426
So just don't. Leave home and never involve your family in that side of your life.

>>5467930
You must be ugly as fuck if you can't get laid as a bisexual. I'm assuming you're a man. Just go on Grindr for an hour and you'll have someone to fuck you in the ass.

>>5465922
Why do you think he's straight? Straight guys don't deliberately touch other dude's legs, in fact they'll recoil if your body touches theirs for too long.
They also don't joke about "sit on my lap", they'll joke about "why don't you suck my dick?" or other such aggressive jokes meant to assert dominance.

>>5465567
Get drunk with the two of them sometime and ask if they want to have a devil's threesome.
Either they say yes or they say no or they say maybe.

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>>5465410
Gay men tend to be really shitty about it. I think everyone knows that. It sucks because I've known a full men I could truly connect with but for whom me being bi was a deal breaker in terms of dating. Bi women are easier about it than gay men and tend to be who I've ended up with most often. Straight women are either super enthused about it because muh boy on boy fetish or they view me as damaged goods for having taken dick before.

I had my first gay experience tonight. I've identified as straight most of my life but in the last few years started thinking I may be bi (I'm 26 now). I met this gay guy on Tinder and I felt really awkward/unsure at first so we just became friends, but tonight we played with each others' dicks. I've heard that a lot of gay guys don't believe men can really be bi, but this one is really open minded and understanding and has dated bi men before.

>>5480813
What about bi men.

>>5480729

There are lots of socially awkward bi or gay guys but I see what you're getting at

>tfw over abundance of autistic, socially awkward or maladjusted gay and bi guys
>tfw attracted to naivete, awkwardness, or social maladaptation, think it's really cute
>tfw in guys it's usually combined with an ugly, homely, or unsexy appearance, insta turnoff

I dated straight girls but never men let alone bi.If I walked down the street with a guy holding hands would probably get stoned to death.

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First time posting not sure if i am doing this right not in relation to thread either sorry..... Bi guy here had several experiences with guys that only wanted me to penetrate them. Now in steady relationship with female significant other of 2 years she asked my history i explained now she is curious and asks me if i would like to be topped for my first time. whats best approach and how should we aproach this exploration with comfort and dignity. and just a bit of graceWith out awkward stares or misunderstood feelings after? All times I have had relations never talked to them again after 4-5 times with me being Dominant?

>>5481362
she wants to top you (pegging)?
or
she wants you to find a 3rd party and watch you get fucked in the ass?

Either way, I would be very cautious in how you proceed esp if she is straight and used to straight / hetero normative relationships.

>crushing on a girl who might be crushing on me
>there's a possible /cuteboy/ near me
>know/like the girl, but the idea of having sex with a dude is more erotic to me

I know the safer choice is the first one but damn the temptation is killing me.

>>5471593
Tell that bitch that dudes ain't got puss is and she can buy a strap on if she's so fuckin anxious.

>>5465642
>Strapless strap on
Wut

>>5482345
>there's a possible /cuteboy/ near me
There's a possible 4+4chan tab open near you

>tfw have to flirt with members of each sex in drastically different ways
>tfw wondering if it's worth it not to just only show interest in one sex because the other makes you jump through more confusing hoops when you want to sex or date

ok

>try finding someone who'd stand me on Tinder
>actually find a nice girl
>she tell me she's poly and in a relationship with another dude
>google poly
>whatever who cares sounds reasonable
>she's bi like me and kinda chaotic, he's more strict and controlling
>get into a relationship with her
>some months later, the other guy's a emotional wreck, their relationship is falling apart, I'm not allowed to speak to her but it seems like she'll move in with me if they don't patch everything up
>they both are really nice and tell me nothing is my fault
What a fucking roller coaster, god damn bi sluts