It's been approximately 96 hours since I was given a command

this is the life of a POG

holy fuck
what did he do tho?

>>35153935
>lt
>forklift driver

What the fuck.

>>35153935
>LT
>Driving a forklift

Smells like bs

>>35153935
Was it a 14 year old boy that now has a broken bone?

post pics

>>35153993

We have a staff shortage and I don't trust any of the boots I have with our ONLY forklift. If that forklift breaks, we can't do anything besides gather in the cafeteria and stare at each other for twelve hours a day until replacement parts are moved in. Which is how I got my position, because the last commander was a jackass who let a boot do stupid shit with the forklift.

Aside from the people who go to nuke school and those like them, the military generally gets people with either bottom-of-the-barrel IQ, no ambitions, no other options, or some combination of the three.

A lot of them were going to be criminals anyway, now they just get to do it under your watch.

>>35154006
>>35153993
there's also the two guys with DUIs

>>35154009

twelve and he got three ribs broken

>>35154035
thats what you get you overpaid faggot

t. e3

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Your misery is amusing.

Good luck anon

>>35154006
Could be one of the DUI's

>>35154043
>>35154064

you can still drive forklifts for the military with DUIs, the question is whether or not your superior will allow you to/order you to do so

whether or not this is a smart idea is another question entirely

>>35153935
don't you miss your fort lee days, what in the ever loveing fuck kind of 2nd LT do you have

>>35154095

the type of LT that somehow gets his semen inside an unconscious boy's mouth

>>35153935
I am a pro driver I been driving forklifts for 10+ years let me work

>>35154128

no solicitors

>>35154130
Ha

>>35154114
the few, the proud

>>35153935
>officer complaining about having to do their job
nothing new here, NCO's do most of the legwork and the majority of officers are there literally to sign off on shit.If theyre bored and need some OER bullet points they come up with bullshit policies that we have to enforce that makes the joes life hell and who do they bitch about it to? Of course junior NCO's.desu officers arent really needed at anything below a battalion level

>>35154281

I'd agree but the last time we trusted a boot with technology he ran it off a curb into a parked car, rendering our only forklift inoperable while doing $15k of property damage. As a result of this, nobody else could do their job so we spent the next week sitting and staring at each other until the parts arrived in the mail. We barely trust them driving trucks, because most of them are put together enough where they won't ruin their ability to drive a car.

>>35153935
>TP storage facility
Where might a civilian get his hands on some of that tactical toilet paper?

>>35154355

https://www.gamut.com/p/georgia-pacific-toilet-paper-std-2-ply-5-1-2-in-roll-dia-4-in-roll-wd-MjU5NjY

>>35154375
>The Amazon CloudFront distribution is configured to block access from your country.
this is some real top secret shit mate, where'd you find it?

so youre gonna post the pics right op

>>35153935
>a rape of a minor.
Statutory involving a slut, or like picked up in a van and brutalized and left on the street rape?

>>35154422
>>35154114

>>35154383

it's georgia pacific toilet paper, you know the shit toilet paper you used in school

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>>35153935
>depot/TP
Who did you piss off to get put in charge of the toilet paper distro?

>>35154457

I didn't piss anyone off, I was promoted into this position because the lass commander was demoted for making stupid decisions.

>>35154450
nah mate i refuse to believe that, "TP" is a secret codeword for a spy plane or something, isn't it?

you're a tier one operator, aren't you? do they call you a one-ply?

>>35154114
where did he find this child

asking for a friend

>>35154525

where does anyone find children? In an elementary school parking lot. It doesn't help that he knew him "personally", to an extent that is presently being investigated and I cannot comment on. Nobody asked questions because they'd speak to each other in spanish.

>>35154557
Christ on a bike. You tell that fucking beaner that his cheese tamale is getting stuffed with jalapeños in prison!
t. beaner

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>>35154577

He might not even go to jail depending on how the DACA shit plays out. I mean if this really does go to trial in three months and Trump deports the victim mid-trial proceedings just end and he returns to work no penalty. Which fucks my shit up because I legitimately don't know if I should spend the resources replacing him or not (again, there's a personnel shortage where I am so training other people on base to the required specification requires a lot of time).

>>35154114
marines, the most honorable branch

>>35154557
My mental image of him just switched to some 5'7" spiclet from cali or southern Arizona with a buzz and perpetual glare like that one kid who got beat literally inches from death for the same shit.

>>35154114
god bless America ;-;7

>>35154594
don't you have to be a permanent resident to be in the military? i thought DACA was only for illegals.

>>35154594
I'm not a lawyer obviously, fixed radios, but you would think an ongoing cp case would override the daca thing even if only temporary. Either way, sucks to be you anon, godspeed you poor bastard.

>>35154630
Reading comp. The victim would be kicked out, not the Lt.

>>35154630
>don't you have to be a permanent resident to be in the military?
apparently not

>>35153935
This is copy pasta. I'll give you a little credit, you did modify it.

3/10.

>>35154630
I think he means the kid was an illegal, so if it goes to trial and then Trump deports all illegals while the trial is going on, then the case would be dropped.

>>35154647
ohh, sorry.

would this be a military police matter or a normal police matter? i'm not familiar with how these things work.

>>35154630

I'm talking about the victim. I don't know if he is a dreamer or not, but let me put it this way: when our legal counsel had to get his info it was already inside some gov't database even though he does not have a visa or SSN.

>>35154050
>e3
Git good faggit, promote to e4.

It's really not hard, I was waivered up to e4 a month after getting arrested in full view of platoon daddy, and fist sausage had to pick me up from jail.

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>>35154654

Sadly, it is not pasta. I wish it was pasta. You have no idea how much I wish I hadn't renewed my contract.

>>35154659

city police/local sheriff. Otherwise the kid would have been immediately arrested in the hospital and would already be on a bus back "home"

>>35154719
>Otherwise the kid would have been immediately arrested in the hospital and would already be on a bus back "home"
C-can we start using military rapists to start shipping illegals back if the MP are alerted to it before the local police?

>>35154732

MPs don't have jurisdiction outside of military matters. So either the rape has to occur on Federal property or Trump has to declare an emergency for the local area.

>>35154745
>bring back illegals to base
>rape
>???
>profit

>>35154748

that'd actually work

>>35154765
Looks like we got a plan to start deporting then
>it's just like my doujins

>>35154577
>his cheese tamale is getting stuffed with jalapeños in prison!

You just obliterated my sides.

>>35154114
thank him for his service

>>35154355
government uses skilcraft TP

>made with pride, by Americans who are blind

>>35154481
Keep telling yourself that...

>>35154666
Ok Satan.

>>35154594
And this is where you took the bait too far.

>>35154050
>tfw ETV2
>top of the class at nav "A", mando e4 when reporting to boat
>got CAP'd to e5
>NAMs fall from the sky, everyone has 50

lel. faster advancement than nukes. could go 4 or 5 year first class if i speed up my quals, looking at 8 year A nav chief

>mfw the rest of the military gets slow as fuck advancements

>>35154490
>do they call you a one-ply?
hehe

>>35153935
What you got DUIs and you raped a minor?

The fuck did you do?

>>35154557
This is why spics should be banned from the military.

>>35154666
>dreamer

They're called illegal immigrants you bleeding heart pog trash.

>>35154594
Fuck the personnel shortage, get rid of the idiot and deal with being down a man for a month at a time. Shit what's the worst you could get out of a new guy anyway, someone who pulls the exact same shit no as the others now?

>>35158342
Funny enough the white guy that moved into the adjacent room in the barracks was arrested for possession of cp while I was on a luxury ftx or as my unit called it a "deployment." Ended up getting a visit from CID with the plt sgt and 1 sgt two days later after I'd gotten back. They wanted to go through my hdds because the guy was essentially my roommate. I told them that was fucked up and gave them my two external drives I'd gotten while I was gone and told them my desktop was still in storage. A week later they dropped by again and said not to worry about it. Got the hdds back with none of my shit missing.
t. spic

>>35158970
Could you get in trouble for having loli hentai?

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>>35154114

>>35158342
its usually white bois doing perrvy and creepy shit m80

t. spic

>>35154015

>>35159373
No idea anon. The guy was arrested for actual cp, not drawn images. I doubt the army would think highly of soldiers in possession of loli, but a friend of mine was a huge weeb and had scrolls and posters of somewhat questionable nature, but aside from some glances from the plt sgt and some choices words by the 1 sgt during room inspections, nothing ever came of it. Who knows, maybe the 1 sgt was a weeb himself?

>>35154457
The Lt. will be fine, anon. Look, he has his PT belt on.

>>35159373
State to state it varies, federally it's a grey area.

>>35160722
Nah mate, he lost it in the third frame, how do you think he lost in the first place?

>this entire thread
Oh lawdy... OP I'm laughing, but I feel for you too. Non milfags will never know the feeling of horror when you get recalled because E-2 Bag-o'-Doughnuts made a goof in public

How retarded does the air force get in comparison?

>>35154030
Or, you know, rent a forklift like thousands of other customers do.

>>35161019
A finance guy got busted with ceepee at my base a while ago. Fucker couldn't fix my LES but he had all the time in the world to beat his dick to Thad levels of pizza...
There was also the time when a girl told people she had cancer and got everyone to shave their heads in solidarity, only for them to find out she was faking it all to get out of duty
I've got some other fun stories, but they're more dumb than criminal

>>35161019
dude got drunk after curfew in japan broke into some random house and punched a 13yr old kid in the face and jumped out a 3rd story window

>>35153935
This is the state of the Army
>laughingwhores.jpg

>>35161103
That's not fair, you could fill an entire book with all the drunk PACAF fuckery
>tfw went to the bowling alley to get drunk after curfew on my 21st birthday and ended up getting slammed and called a bunch of chiefs fucking pussy ass buzzkills when they told me to go home

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>>35161190
>you could fill an entire book with all the drunk PACAF fuckery


honestly it would be Volumes not just books

>tfw go drunk at karaoke with a jap girl fucked her and pissed on the air con unit
> i miss PACAF

>>35161212
It would be volumes of slight derivations on the same ten stories

>>35161400
only if you heard the ten same basic bitch stories

>>35161212
I miss the fuckin packed e-clubs.
Im back CONUS now and it amazes me that everything on base is dead, even on the weekends.

>>35161507
thats what i first noticed its too quiet in the states

>>35160702
How questionable are we talking here? i know a guy who had some reasonably lewd loli figurines in his room and he didn't get much shit for it but the again we were weebforce

>>35161212
you could spend a lot of time self publishing on amazon or you could green text some of that shit for us right now and ill trade you a story of how the Zealand air force almost lost a huey on a S&R

>>35154577
You mistake MAre Island and Portsmith for some civilian country club like San Quentin or Attica. Those guards out at Mare don't fuck around. That guy would be doing himself a favor if he hung himself in his cell immediately after being convicted. Prisoners have been known to have fallen down several flights of stairs at high velocty in the showers there.

>>35154630
Military service is one way to earn citizenship. Philipinos do it all the time and more than a few Germans and latinos have done it too.

>>35162064
>be kiwi shitbag
>Father was one of the OG venison recovery pilots,
>literally chase a deer down with a helicopter then a mad cunt jumps out and tackles the deer to the ground, then you tie the wildly struggling deer to the chopper and cart it back to a holding pen.
>in a fucking H300 or similar
>in alpine New Zealand some of the shittiest, most remote parts of the country
>kinda off topic but highlights the insanity of this particular family.
>shitbag has been flying choppers since he was 15, doing recovery for daddy, venison recovery suddenly goes to shit, no money in it and shtbag needs a real job.
>joins the RNZAF (LOL) and naturally ends up as a pilot. manages to kinda hide his insanity.
>fat fuck British trampers get lost in the mountains again, S&R callout. and i get dropped as part of the sweep in the next valley over.
>ed up on last load out because I ended up chasing a shiny thing that ended up being part of a weather balloon stuck on a bluff 1/2 way up a fucking mountain (could have been a survival blanket under a shrub)
>enter fuckwit, the other guy on the last lift is an old recovery mate of his.
>a deer would be great for the end of search BBQ, "Hold my beer"
>spot deer and start chasing it along mountainside in a fucking huey
>I don't feel like jumping he don't feel like jumping.
>fuckwit still wants a deer. "well ill do it the easy way", maybe he has a gun in here somewhere. "tips huey"
>shower of blood, meat, chopped shrub, snow grass and I think some dirt.
Arrive back in Milford with a headless deer sticking partway out of the chopper.
>I exit stage left to get some fresh pants

>>35161080
>I've got some other fun stories, but they're more dumb than criminal
You can't just say that and not post them.

>>35161019
My friend got discharged for taking 10 hits of acid at once and telling his CO when his trip started getting "bad".

>>35162318
Oh fuck, my sides

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>>35162339
Worst part was he was/is a hardcore weeb like me and he was discharged from Japan
>Tfw he inspired me to enlist but I don't know if I can hack it at 25

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Forgive me father for I have sinned.

I stole a bunch of NVG's and traded them for firearms.

I built and set off a homemade copper shape charged IED and killed hajis that were shooting at our perimeter even after we were ordered not to engage them then said they got blown up by their own device they were trying to plant.

I laughed right in the face of the VIP transport team after they refused to go low key with a bongo or the orange taxi and instead insisted on using their blacked out SUV's and got blown the fuck up and had a ramp ceremony for 2 of them and 2 more got sent home with horrific injuries. Stupid fucking assholes just got in and didn't want to listen so fuckem.

I beat a haji with my belt so bad that he cried because he was shitting in the middle of the black badge CIAs new drone runway the turkmen were constructing.

I puked into a bag of body parts when I had to commandeer the medical waste vehicle that was transporting haji remains from the odor in 110 degree heat.

I am a sinner. Please dear god cleanse and absolve me of my deeds!

>>35154481
>lass commander
silly wimminz commanders

>>35153935
Jesus. This sounds like the army in the 70's and 80s. You know, when they ended up with a fuckton of druggies and a couple of serial killers.

>>35162188

Mare Island and Portsmouth Naval Prison closed years ago.

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>>35162208
I refuse to believe this happened

>Father nearly part of the US Navy back in the 70's
>100% would've been promoted, knowing him
I seriously think he would've strangled people to death for this kind of bullshit.

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>>35153935
sounds like sonic weapons forced him to expose some classified documents

would you really suspect it was? how important are the documents?

>>35155775
>Trump deports the victim
Well, that's one tryharding liberal bleeding heart.

>>35162208
Fuck thatd be awhile ago, the arse dropped out of deer in the late 80s/ early 90s. Mid 80s was the peak of live capture wasnt it? Grandad was setting up heaps of deer traps in the north island to farm them for velvet around then.

Uncle worked for the forestry service in the early 80s/ late 70s deer culling, but north island though. Much less chopper, much more walking haha.

Id believe your story, guys like Tim Wallis were maveric mad bastard legends, and one of that lot slicing a deer with a huey doesnt suprise me in the least haha

>>35154318
>he ran it off a curb into a parked car, rendering our only forklift inoperable while doing $15k of property damage.

Sorry wtf? How does that even happen, did he just panic and slam the accelerator?

>>35153935

Join the military they said...

>>35162425

>I stole a bunch of NVG's and traded them for firearms.

Greedy, but no physical harm done.

>I built and set off a homemade copper shape charged IED and killed hajis that were shooting at our perimeter even after we were ordered not to engage them then said they got blown up by their own device they were trying to plant.

Self defense, justified.

>I laughed right in the face of the VIP transport team after they refused to go low key with a bongo or the orange taxi and instead insisted on using their blacked out SUV's and got blown the fuck up and had a ramp ceremony for 2 of them and 2 more got sent home with horrific injuries. Stupid fucking assholes just got in and didn't want to listen so fuckem.

Their own fault.

>I beat a haji with my belt so bad that he cried because he was shitting in the middle of the black badge CIAs new drone runway the turkmen were constructing.

Well... not irrational at least.

>I puked into a bag of body parts when I had to commandeer the medical waste vehicle that was transporting haji remains from the odor in 110 degree heat.

Human nature.

>I am a sinner. Please dear god cleanse and absolve me of my deeds!

You're not. You haven't done anything really wrong, like harm someone without any reason. You've apparently just been in shit situations with shit people.

>>35158422

I don't think you understand the problem. He's the only forklift driver.

>>35163314

Forklifts are not designed to be dropped off 6" curbs. If you do that, you will break the shocks if not the axles too. This is enough damage to render the vehicle disabled.

>>35162208
>>35162064
> be chairforce
> be inna japan
> get drunk as shit in one of the local establishments
>so girl i vaguely know is having a birthday party
> proceed to join said party
>order to many drinks
> pee in bath room sinks
>pass out wake up on top of one her friends in the bar
> pass out wake up in alley way with pants down
>pass out wake up around 9am in the middle of the street with most of the persons birthday cake with marines trying to steal shit out of my pockets

FIN

>>35162425

Nah, It's alright.

>>35153935
Holy shit and I thought it was just a meme.

>>35162439
wouldn't a lass commander be a commander of lasses, but not necessarily a female herself?

If so, that would explain all the problems they've been having with the boots being shitty drivers?

>>35162773
Different anaon.
Levanworth really isn't any better.

>>35153935
Yeah, bunch of fuck ups. Too bad there is so much discrimination against people trying to join. Now look where you fags are at. No wonder we are about to be nuked. Sort yourselves out.

>>35164299
If you say "male commander" would the commander be female or male?

Does biweekly mean twice a week or every two weeks?

>>35163866
>innaJapan
>Marines
Just be happy they were only trying to rob you, if you looked like a local they might've dragged your defenseless body into an alleyway to have their way with you.

>>35164299
pretty sure he mistyped 'last' m8

>>35164350
Biweekly can mean both. English is frustrating.

>>35164350
The use of "male" as an adjective generally denotes that the following noun is of the male sex. thus a "Female" commander would be a commander who is female. "Lass" however is a noun that cannot beised as an adjective, and thus it denotes what the following noun commands.

A "Tank Commander" is not a commander who is also a tank.

Also, biweekly means every two weeks.

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>>35154481
>lass commander
Anon are you pimping out the enlisted?

>>35154719
Bullshit. No crime victim is going to be deported if discovered as a victim.
If he is picked up later, maybe but doubtful.

>>35163845
Forklifts are easy to drive. Easy to teach. Easy to figure out on your own.
If you are down to 0, drive it yourself.

>>35159587
>mexicants not being the ones to father children on 9 year old stepdaughters, cousins and little seesteers.
>t. juan paco depablo lopez

>>35153935
That's some next level shit

But, why the fuck would normal boots want cp?

>>35165525
Whites are the ones who go to thailand and the philippines to fuck 9 year olds

>>35162678
>and a couple of serial killers.
sheeeeeeeit there were more than that operating out of bragg and myrtle beach AFB

>>35165558
because mexicants know the jungle asians wont suffer their tomfoolery and latino hijinx

>>35165581
And whites are the ones who kidnap children and rape them to make cp for Hillary on darkweb

>>35165546
>Normal boots
Why would normal 4chan users want CP?

>>35165610
Jews aren't white

>>35165558
>Whites are the ones who go to thailand and the philippines to fuck 9 year olds
Whites are usually the only ones who can afford to. Doesn;t mean the others wouldn;t if they could afford it. Also, 90% of the "sex tourists" in Thailand are Nips.

>>35154719
>>35154732
>>35154745
>>35154748
>>35154765
What the fuck kinda country do we live in that this is even a possibility

>>35165610
>slavs and jews
>white
pick one

>>35164512
If yiu want every 2 weeks you say bi monthly

>>35165628
>>35165646
not an argument

>>35165637
>pedophilia is ok when whites do it

>>35162425
Laughing and beating are the only bad things here.

>>35165650
Nope. But to claim that ONLY whites do it is bost racist and incorrect. It's a cheerypicked argument used by leftists to puch an agenda. Pedos of every ethnicity should be shot in the back of the head with a .357 HP, while kneeling in the public square and their bodies hung up in a gibbit as a warning to the others.

>>35165650
no one said its ok, besides your inferring it. if anything its grossly under reported in minority communities.

>>35154114
WEW LAD

>>35159587
This is true due to overpopulation/supression, however third world sex crimes are much worse.

I think some italian girl tried to prove muslims where good people by hitchhiking acriss the middle east. She was murdered and raped by the first person she rode with.

>>35165639
The best one

>>35162285
>be me, inna Germany, chilling in my dorm room on a sunday night
>suddenly hear a knock on my door
>its the new first sergeant, who recently arrived and didn't really know about life overseas
>"A1C Anon, you speak German right?"
>uhh... ja.
>"Great. Grab your shit and come with me, we're going to K-town. I'll explain in the car"
>driving down, he explains how Amn. Dumbshit got picked up by the Polizei for making offensive pro nazi comments in public, and I need to terp and help bail him out
>I explain that literlly everyone in Germany speaks English, and he can do this without me
>"I don't know anon, this is a fragile cultural situation. I'd rather have someone who can speak the language with me
>okay.jpg
>we get to the police station and the shirt nudges me to the front desk
>before I can say anything, the officer asks in fluent english if we're here for Amn dumbshit
>...Ja.
>my shirt and the officer start talking and I get told to take dumbshit out to the car. I take this opportunity to ask him what happened
>despite being very drunk, he tells me how he was at a bar trying to impress the locals by singing the German national anthem
>the Nazi German national anthem
>dude wtf. You didn't think something was wrong when the song opened with 'Germany over everyone in the world?'
>the police ended up releasing him with a warning, and I got to watch the first sergeant smoke the shit out of him when we got back

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>>35154676
>First sausage
I've got no idea why I find that so funny.

>>35165884
Deutschland Uber Alles is not a Nazi song. It comes from before that, and it was an honest mistake on the A1C's part.

>>35154666
People who are in DACA do have SSN, they still pay taxes and need them for identification purposes.

>>35158357
Nope, daca is a visa program. Hebce why even Trump tweets they can renew before 6 months for another 2 years.
Youre as bad as muh salt rifles

>>35165647
This is so retarded I don't know where to start. How many weeks are in a month? Trick question. It's not an integer so shutup.

>>35165989
It's Deutschlandlied, the (notso) current lyrics "Deutschland Deutschland über allies, at cetera" predates fuckin ww1, shit used to be "Gott erhalte Franz den Kaiser"
I hate how quick modern Germans are to brand anything remotely related to Nazis as pro Nazi shit.
I mean I hate Nazis as much as anyone but for fucks sake chill Germany

>>35165647
Bi monthly is every other month

>>35166958
It must be something in the water, lol.

>>35162425
Where's the sin?

On a serious note, how often does shit disappear from armories and whatnot?

I know optics, body armor, and gun parts get stolen somewhat regularly, but is sketchy shit like grenades or law rockets gets stolen too?

I know at least 2 incidents where us army guys jacked law rockets (the covenant sword arm militia guys in their compound prior to their standoff with feds and the ring of us army soldiers busted hiding a law rocket in someones apartment after said bitch girlfriend ratted him out).

>>35167572
It's reasonably easy for a LAW to disappear, they buy so many of them that they're technically cheaper than an M79 grenade.

>>35166958
>(((you)))

>>35165581
lots of spics are married to jungle asians m80

>>35165558
this

australians i heard are the worst for pedophilia

>>35165509

>what is red tape

>All these newfag morons falling for a shitposting faker nerverserved.

>>35169456

at least three people from my former unit are in jail now