Innawoods Thread

>solo camping last spring
>near base of tall mesa/cliff
>wake up panicked around 2 or 3am, moon bright enough to cast well defined shadows, can read by it.
>dehydrated, experiencing proto-hangover
>some bird or something at the upper edge of the cliff is making a startling, loud, unfamiliar sound (grew up ~2000 miles away)
>on edge for 30ish minutes, while this animal makes the only audible sound around
>go back to bed, still clutching mosin

(((Skinwalkers))) and other high desert inhabitants are no joke folks.

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>inna decommission refinery
>avoiding guards
>needa shit
>dig hole
>kayakers on coast see me
>mfw

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>>35113859
you will never fight monsters at night with your mosin
>why live?

>>35113859
>>35113859
OP bump, have seen some shit in the mojave, can confirm
Wierder then that but had an AR of sorts

>>35113729
>work on oil rig, inland, night shift
>middle o desert
>literally nobody but us for 50ish miles
>have had guys show up all fucked up and off one day
>okay, drunk, whatever
>trouble operating equipment and shit
>talk with guy later
>find out he was out of town or straight up sick and never showed up
>his truck was never even there
>have seen weird shadows around edges of the location, shambling and shit
>usually some air horn blasts make them fuck off
>always chocked up to ""coyotes"" but we all know its not
>company policy no firearms
>all of this has happened multiple times
>still work out there
the desert don't fuck around. hope I don't die.
>pay makes it almost worth the skinwalkers though
apologies for shit tier writing, little bit inebriated over here

>>35114157
My dog started barking when I read your post. I think I'm not going to check it out tonight... Unless she starts doing her danger bark,then I got to.

>Halloween night, innawoods a couple miles from suburbia
>on a trail through the woods, along with a tour
>I was pretty young, and as it was Halloween night, I was scared shitless
>begin crying because am scared
>tour guide sees I'm dressed like superman
>"Superman, don't be scared, there's nothing out here that can hurt you! You've got super strength!"
>he keeps telling me superman facts
>I feel better

I still remember you, cool tour guide.

Fucking bump. Love these threads

>>35114288
Aw shucks, that's absolutely adorable. People like that keep the world turning, I tell you.

>>35114288
Yo bro. No tear jerkers here. Jesus.
I'm not crying. Just got something in my eye.
What a legend.

>wear fursuit hiking in woods
>bout 4 miles in
>high as giraffe pussy on 58mL of liquid melatonin and a few klonopin tabs
>hear howling around me
>hyperventilate for like 2 hours
>sprint home
>sprint back with IO AK
>wait for howling
>nothing
>find dead baby deer with missing belly
>fuck deer
>shoot its head with dick still in baby deer puss
>it clenches with the shots
>bust a fat fuckin nut
>walk home
>realize I forgot to pay hooker
>start walking back
>sobering up a bit by then
>realize I thought deer was a hooker
>walk home
>wake up covered in blood and ticks

>innawoods
>first time bow hunting
>nostand.jpg
>sitting in a shitty little blind, trying not to freeze to death
>hear noise on other side of blind
>take a peek
>hogs
>lots and lots of hogs
>about 15-20 big fuckers, all rooting around
>no sidearm, just shitty bow and 10 arrows
>don't make a damn sound, hogs eventually disappear deeper into the woods
>pack up
>go home
>haven't gone bow hunting since
I was a stupid bastard back in the day

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Requesting this greentext (kinda):

>be anon with AK innawoods
>big group of rednecks camping near Anon and fucking his camp up
>they left a 'FUCK OFF!'-note
>ITS FUCKING ON
>Anon spends the next days with sneaking up, shooting some rounds in the air, running away giggeling
>Anon keeps rednecks alerted and enyoys some sleep and food between
>Anon finds Pick-Ups, letting the air out of tires and 'FUCK OFF!'-note behind whiper.

Its one of my fav's, but i did not save it. Bumping with another good read.

>>35116010
I know that one, don't have it though. Have a bump

>>35114288
That tour guide snapped and murdered his entire tour group the following Halloween.

>>35115882

good call, my friends dad has a buddy who was paralyzed by a boar pack and he had a fucking mini 14

>>35116953
Story?

>>35116010
>iambecomethewhitedeath
this, real or not, is the best green text i have ever read.

>>35116950
I don't doubt it. But if I survived, I wonder what that means...

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>>35116010
first and only selfbump with unrelated but funny greentext

>>35114157
sounds cool, you guys hiring?

Scariest thing I ever seen in the woods:
>camping with two friends in Schwarzwald in Germany
>noguns because lol germany
>It's dusk friends are preparing dinner (plastic wrapped ribs and porkchops we bought at Lidl because we're rugged outdoorsmen)
>We don't have enough firewood, so I go to fetch some while it's still light out. We forgot to bring a flashlight because we're fucking idiots
>I remembered some deadfall about 100 meters out near a creek so I go there
>Walking through the shade in the dark woods, hear forest noises. Pretty creeped out bc pink skinned white boy never been camping
>Arrive at deadfall, little leafy sticks everywhere, no good. See a bigish dried out log stick around a corner, decide to haul that back to camp and chop it up (we did bring an axe because at least were not in England)
>go around the bend, hear some faint grunting
>See a 120kg man, pants around his ankles with his back to me shitting out a massive turd
>I shriek in suprise, bearded man jumps to his feet, makes a sound like 'NGGGEHEHehEHEH'
>see the turd break-off halfway and slide back into his ass
>I turn and run like a bitch, sans firewood. Beardman screams after me something like SCHEISSFOTZE
>Friends ask me wtf, heard screaming
>Tell them I saw a wolf

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>>35116010
>>35116010
>>35116010
>>35116010
>>35116010
>>35116010
>>35116010

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what do you guys want

>>35118507
this one's cool

>>35118858
reginald the cannible
Rhodesian foreign legion
k cryptid
ice cryptid
cluster bomb
bullet head ozark monterfuccker

>>35118749
Heh

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>>35118917
All coming right up

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>>35118917

>>35118858
just dump them all anon senpai

>>35118749
meant to say dawn sorry

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>>35118917
>>35118974
Only if you stay

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>>35118917
someone already posted ice cryptid

>>35118998
shut in euro here, I love these stories
keep posting

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>>35119039
What do you want? I posted what I have

>>35119060
all of it, idk

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>>35119082

>>35119088
that russian says "where war goes, we follow"
kinda lame story t bh

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>>35119120
just posting what I have freind

>>35119120
Get out of here stalker

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buuump

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>>35119255

>>35119255
I'm Bulgarian

>>35118749
You probably bumped into another /k/ommando having his own MRE anal apocalypse

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Don't die thread please

Whats better for skinwalkers, 12 ga with magnum slugs or a battle rifle

>>35119397
thermobaric nuke

>>35119397
1911 duh

>>35119397
High powered rifle?

>tfw you have piss poor health and shoddy genetics and would fucking die if you tired the S.T.A.L.K.E.R challenge
>tfw you will never go innawoods and hunt a Skinwalker.

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>>35119806

>>35119060
Fuck that's cringey.

>>35113729
R'ing the guy who gets revenge on coyotes for killing his wife's cat, but then gets shut down for kinky sex with wife wearing pelt as head dress.

>>35118858
Post Rhodesian one

>>35115821
>IO AK
That part made me cringe.

Bumpity bump bump

Bump

Lookin for the story of the Aussie living out in the bush and saw a goat-man creature emerge from the woods holding a lantern and pointed at him. Saw it posted here a year or so ago, haven't seen it since

>>35115821
>IO AK
That's the scary part.

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>>35117536
I'm gonna come over to america to see if this story is bullshit or at least get eaten by big fucking badgers.

>>35121622
There are apparently 2 other stories that are in very close proximity to where this one took place. They both revolve around similar creatures near caves. There is another innawoods thread right now pretty much dedicated to these stories if you wanna check it out

>>35121670
Link me bro

>>35121791
>>35118647

>>35119397
I'd definitely say battle rifle (cuz y'know... 20 shits in a row), but the 12ga is probably a close second.

>>35118858
Bump cause I haven't read most of these before. Can you post 'Cat like cryptid(Manticore)'?

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>>35118838
Oh boy! Thanks!

>>35115821
Knew it was bullshit right at melatonin and klonopin. Would tranquilize you so quick

>>35119397
Depends on the skinwalker. some legelnds say silver or ash wood will kill them, in which case you'd want the shotgun. Some legends say only a bullet rubbed with the ashes of a newborn infant will do it, in which case you'd want the rifle. Still others say that only by speaking the skinwlker's name or tricking it into speaking while in an animal form can make it revert to mortal/human form and then it can be killed as normal.

>>35123970
Or light its ass up till only chunks of meat are left.

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A Glock 19 1st gen.
Or a
Quality pump action shotgun

>>35124347
>1st gen?
Why?

>>35123970
/K/ needs to eliminate the skinwalker. Need to gather actionable Intel on skinwalker territory, range, possible nesting sites, and preferred prey

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>>35124420
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1sONfxPCTU0

>>35117005

he didn't give much detail, but basically

>be guy
>hunting boar
>he's out there since they've had problems with attacks lately
>he spots a biggin
>it sees him before he had even raised his gun
>charging at him
>he manages to hit it once, but it slams into his knees
>drags him to the ground
>tears him up real good
>I'm not sure what happened after

>>35124420
>>35124435
We are a paranoid group of weirdos with more guns then sense.
And godamnt I bet that's more than enough to eliminate a native American mythical cryptid.

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>>35114157
Companie's "no firearms" policies fill me with rage when they are unable or unwilling to provide adequate security to replace the gun you'd be carrying. They're putting a higher value on their legal defense against someone going postal than their employee's lives.
The company I work for has a no firearms policy, and they reserve the right to check any bags/briefcases that are brought onto the property (But they cannot check your person or vehicle, and no metal detectors, because public image).
>Mfw lcp in a pocket holster, 2 spare mags,and a tacticooled sks out in the truck.
It would be my job if I got caught, but since I'm not an idiot,telling coworkers about it, that will hopefully never happen.

>>35124607
It all comes down to Insurance
Add a firearm to the actuarys formula and things get pricey

>>35122088
>20 shits in a row
Fucking Taco Bell, man

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>>35119120
Fuck off lthran!

>>35118973
That's just fucked up.

>>35124540
Hey now! The fact that we have guns shows we have more sense than most people

But I agree. If we all put our intellects together, I am certain we could take down a skinwalker. They obviously have to have a weakness

>>35124420
>>35124540
It's not a crytptid. It's a person who has done something to give himself incredible power a the cost of his humanity.

Well, unless you're talking about the Nadlooshee/N'gloshi (which are sometimes lumped in with skinwalkers), in which case it's one of a race of shapeshifters that predate the Native American gods. Good luck killing THAT with your .30-06, not even Coyote could manage to kill the N'gloshi.

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>tfw you have land to go innawoods
>tfw family is comprised of fudds
>tfw they dont want you shooting on the land because it will scare the durr away
>TFW HUNTING SEASON IS MONTHS AWAY

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>>35118858
ALL
NOW
BIGLY

>>35119060
Yea, never post this again. These are all fake but at least some of them are realistic.

>>35117536
Aside from being posted on /k/, or by Zed, I find that adding unnecessary detail like "72 Dodge W200" is a good flag for whether or not a story is bullshit.

>>35124496
There is a reason why people used to go out in full plate to hunt these fucks.

>>35118858
Ft Tennessee biology

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>>35118998
Artist recreation of creature.

>>35119060
>riots in Ukraine
>checks news
>lots of fighting between militants and obviously-not-Russian organized army forces
>lots of fighting innawoods
hmm

>>35118749
Welcher Umkreis? Wildcampen ist doch hier illegal.

Keep this thread alive

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Bump
So what would you do if you came across a dogman?
I'd empty my mag and run for my life

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>>35125829

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>>35125829
>>35130501
>>35125511

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>>35125829
>>35125511
>>35130501
Planning anything around 29thumbs? Reach out to the Marines first, some of them be up for a round two.

>>35118507
V. Spoopy

>>35118471
That was a damn good one.

>>35118973
its so hard to believe these stories but still entertaining regardless. If they were true, at least 1 person would have gotten a picture

>>35118953
Holy shit this needs to be a movie.

>>35119806
That's a pretty damn good story.

>>35118858
Post the coyote one

>>35130562
I don't fuck with the N'gloshi. Shit that the gods cannot kill is 2sppoy5me.

Legit skinwalkers though? I'm down for that. Generally speaking, silver, salt and raw iron will put the kibosh any any mage's powers. After that...well, I know a guy I can talk to about newborn ashes.

Also, I've made very effective wooden shotgun shells before. Oak, Teak, Maple and Rowan all make pretty decent saboted slugs.

>>35119763
It was la llorona

>>35114095
Go on...

>>35118858
Post them all

>>35118749
>SCHEISSFOTZE
Sheissekopf - shithead

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>>35121856

>>35118973
3spooky5me

>>35133127
anyone got the second and third story to this?

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Man i used to be big into trying to figure out what would kill a dogman, bigfoot and anything that goes bump in the night.
All the reports i found say that
>9mm did nothing.
>357 mag did nothing
>nothing on 45/10mm or 44mag
>5.56 did semi good.
>7.62x39 dropped a bigfoot after a mag dump at close range (pretty sure this is bullshit)
>308 fucked one up good after two shots but didn't kill it.
>338 LM easy but still did not kill
>nothing on large game guns "375h&h, 416 rig, etc"
>nothing with 50cal yet

So i decided to looking into african game stopping power
Nothing under 6000 J of energy, 13000 J if we count in elephants.
Then into bear hunting, "sidearm" 44 mag and up, 10mm/45 if you're a glockfag/1911fag.
"Rifle" 4000 j of energy at the muzzle.
It feels that shot placement doesn't matter here because no cunt is gonne have time to set up shots, unless at really long ranges.
It'll all be spray and pray think.

This is just acounts and info i found. Haven't done any test outside.

Shit i forgot about shutguns
If it kills a bear it'll do the job i guess.
But what about wendigos, these cunts can only be killed by fire from reports.
So make dragonfire shells.
Fuck it, go all abbo and burn down the whole fucking Forest.

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>>35134075
I'm curious about this too, a story from /tg/ got me thinking about the supposed cat like thing living in the mines and how it might be smoked out by a crew in hazmat gear burning poison ivy at the entrance. Of course everyone else in miles of the cave should also be in full hazmats but it could be an interesting experiment.

>>35134170
Could work or just piss them off more.

>>35134191
True but the usual problem with hunting them seems to be that they're either too quick to get a clean shot at or they're not really affected by bullets/too armored to care. Chemical warfare could bypass both of these strengths and if everyone in the team is in hazmats and ready mode already, it would be hard for something that apparently assumes the naked shape of it's prey to successfully infiltrate the team.

Not fool proof, but seems safer than just bringing more people and guns.

>>35133832
This thread died a few hours ago I think. Might even still be up. Nothing has come of it yet, that I know of. At the very least it was yesterday.

>>35134263
Yeah got a point.
set the mines on fire as another idea too?

>>35134273
Sure, anything to avoid exposing yourself to its strengths. Maybe booby trapping the entrances could work too but I would be cautious with something like this against a foe of such unknown faculties.

>>35134075
Would a 40 work?

>>35134319
Yup. But most of /k/ommandos would want to see these fucks up close, so there's that. Unless they don't mind killing them and seeing what's left.
>>35134324
I don't know of any stories but fmj or soft points 40 is better than nothing.
The 5.56 reports had polymer tips and didn't do as good.
Need that penetration with large game.

>>35134346
Apologies, slightly exhausted at the moment. I meant 40mm, not .40.

>>35134364
I don't think any night stalker would survive a 40mm. Kek
I was just thinking homemade pipebomb would be a good idea for these fuckers.
If you could get it to fire from a m203 and detonate on impact, no bigfeet would fuck with you.

>>35134383
>I was just thinking homemade pipebomb would be a good idea for these fuckers.
>If you could get it to fire from a m203 and detonate on impact, no bigfeet would fuck with you.
Not a M203. Crew-served L/60.

>>35134409
Light them the fuck up

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>>35114095
Your telling me patroling the mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter

don't let this thread die

>>35134324
40mm? Yes

someone post the story where military contractors go into a bio-complex with m4's and full hazmat.

please

>>35135680
Someone post it. I haven't heard this one.

>>35135680
>>35135680
I remember this. One of the best spooky greentexts I have read. Could easily be made into a movie. I'll try to describe it without spoiling it. If any of you have this one, please post it. This is going by my (shitty) memory, forgive me.

>Be military contractor (aka someone paid to shoot/escort shit)
>get woken up in the middle of the night, and taken to a very remote complex (in the desert?) along with a few other contractors. Some of them I know, some I don't.
>we arrive in humvees, with almost no information as to what is going on. Nobody says much.
>the building is completely surrounded with military personnel. There are servicemen patrolling (with no visible insignia or name), as well as the distant whine of helicopters circling.
>I also see machineguns being set up facing the building
>we're given full hazmat gear, which I am somewhat untrained with. I don the suit, they check fitment/seals. I am given the OK.
>we're told to walk up to a berm, and zero our rifles on a paper target for close range (<25m)
>scared_shitless.jpg.
>We're told to walk up to one of the main doors to the complex. There are high walls and watchtowers. It's like fort knox.
>One of the anonymous soldiers swipes a badge and the door opens into darkness.

That's as far as I'll go. Someone post it.

>>35117347

It is a good one.

>>35135992
Yeah that's the one. It happened in Iraq IIRC

>>35118538

I have that one saved. Spoops me the fug out.

>>35118858

Anon fucks a doe?
Wtf?
Don't think I've seen that one.

>>35135992
>>we're told to walk up to a berm, and zero our rifles on a paper target for close range (<25m)

well that breaks it for me. US mil always zeros 5.56 rifles at 25 yards because its the same trajectory at 300 yard

>>35136494
I might've gotten that value wrong. From memory and I read it like a year ago.

It was some arbitrary close-quarters value. It might've been 15 yards

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>>35135680

Oh shit. I gotchu senpai

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>>35136914
>>35135680

Goddammit wrong pic.

>>35136924
holy shit thank you. Based anon.

worth the read!

>>35136924
damn dude...

>>35136494
>US mil always uses 25 yards

No, the Marines do it at 36. You are correct about the Army.