Language thread

>>35104797
bbc and bac is the most important

I speak English and German, both with native fluency. Advice on a third language to learn if I want to:
>go into finance

>go into intelligence

I'm thinking Chinese or Russian? Chinese is almost like a meme to learn though.

>Japanese because I want to fuck Jap bitties

>>35104797
>february

>>35104797
Grab a broomstick and hang on!!

>>35104998
DO NOT LEARN CHINESE YOU WILL REGRET IT

It will mean you'll have to work with Chinese people. Somebody please, I don't have access to my reaction folder, post the fuck china series. I'm dead serious I don't speak the language but the memes are 100% true.

>>35105398
>It will mean you'll have to work with Chinese people

He will never get anywhere near Chinese people aside from his teachers at Monterey. There, at DLI, he will sit in a classroom and be lectured for 5 hours a day. He will then engage in 2 hours of practice, followed by a mandatory hour of 'study hall' because the Asian Hall classes are horribly mismanaged. He will slowly learn to write symbols that the teachers will INSIST are intuitive and he is an idiot for not understanding (Chinese teachers at DLI have a lot of leeway to insult students because 'culture' and the military doesn't give a shit), and even more slowly learn to pronounce a tonal language for which English does not have the appropriate sounds. Again, this will bring the ridicule of the teachers.

After fifteen months of this, five days a week plus language club on Saturdays (all of course assuming he doesn't get rocked to another class or failed entirely, which happens to a little over 45 percent of students), he will be sent to Hawaii, where he will absolutely never see a Chinese person face to face again. Instead, he will attend secondary follow-on training (called APCLP forthe Navy) for another two-three months, taught by an NCO that kind of knows how the language works, but DEFINITELY knows how to approximate statements and use context to translate shit. This will be the most valuable training in his shitty career.

After the follow-on training, our friendly asshole will be given a desk in a TS/SCI facility hidden (no shit) under a fucking tropical mountain. I hope he doesn't smoke, since it takes about twenty minutes to get from a desk to outside, which he'll only be allowed to do at the discretion of a civilian supervisor who will allow him 30 minutes per shift at best. At his desk, he will be responsible for translating routine radio chatter until the shop is convinced he isn't retarded. Then, MAYBE he'll be allowed to do actual linguistic work.

>>35105432
>"kraut military"
>all this shit about not Germany
Do you want to know how I know you're an idiot and/or not paying attention?

He'll get out and then apply to a job somewhere, guess what goes on his resume. Then out of the fucking blue "HAHA YOU SPEAK CHINESE RIGHT???" and he has to go fix a problem because the Chinese are absolute fucking scum. Having never, ever considered the grave consequences of his actions years ago he naively says yes and thus begins the slow spiral down into madness.

Also word of advice kids, don't buy shit off of Alibaba unless you can absolutely afford to lose 100% of that money. It is seriously a hit or miss.

>>35105432

CONT

This work will almost exclusively consist of describing in stupid levels of detail what low-level Chinese officers do in their off time, because (probably not surprisingly) Chinese officers usually don't discuss military plans over unsecured phones. In the rare event they do slip up and say something important, it won't matter because Digital Network Infiltration analysts will have already documented those plans in detail. At best he will get a 'corroborated by' notation in the report.

After a little over your 18 month mark in the office, or about two years after first landing in Hawaii, he will be assigned your first deployment. For the Navy, which is all I can REALLY speak to, he will be assigned to a) a shop in Japan, or b) a ship stationed in Japan. You will do exactly the same job, but be more bored, more cold, and more horny. This will last from six months to a year and a half depending on service and requirements for the mission. After he returns stateside, he will become hot shit for about a month until everyone gets tired of hearing about how cool Japan is.

Usually, it's during the second tour at Hawaii (which is the only CHILING base in the US, so that's where he'll be) that the island fever kicks in. He will hate his life. He will hate green plants. He will hate the sea. He will hate the fat fucking Hawaiian natives who treat him like fucking shit for not being one of them. He will contemplate suicide. At least one of his friends will actually commit it, if he doesn't have the balls himself. At the end of the second tour (which is always required because training takes so long, thus mandatory two year extentions for linguists), he will drink enough sea water to think being a Chief is a good idea and stick around long enough that he can forget he's supposed to be a linguist in the first place and just sit around bullshitting with other NCOs and drinking coffee while 'guiding' new young sailors through the same ordeal.

>>35105457

Germans in Hawaii, too. The whole UN contingent of Chinese linguists is based at Pearl Harbor, then deployed to Misawa, fuckwit.

More importantly, every country is America, so all American information is correct.

>>35105464
On what planet would a paratrooper be doing in a completely different occupation specialty?

You are truly an idiot.

>>35105478
doing work*

My bad. That was on me.

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>>35104797
i know english and afrikaans, by extension i guess i could talk to dutch people but i'd prefer not to because most have been prudish and condescending

i want to pick up french because they speak it in congo and other african countries, portuguese too because i might try and immigrate to brazil

idk, french and portuguese are both hard for a petty farm lad like me

>>35104797
Je parle francais en peu. J'etudiee pour quatres ans dans les equvilante a "college" et "lycee" en les etats unie, mais je oublier beaucoup les vocabulaire et mon grammaire est horrible.

As a neet its absolutely worthless and I'm not that good. I had a dream where a personne francais told me I spoke like a dog, pretty typical of the bitchy fuckers.

Is Farsi actually significantly easier to learn than Arabic due to the whole being Indo-European thing?
I'm native level at English and Spanish and pretty good at Korean and Japanese which I've been working on for some years, I'll continue studying those and add Farsi IF it's really not as heavy to learn as Arabic (got the alphabet down but the grammar and pronunciations are totally something else.)

>>35105580
Holy shit I butchered this
>un
>equivalent
>beaucoup de* les

70% sur mon dictee

>chinese
Do not do this

>Japanese for the sole purpose of reading obscure masturbatory material and because I already did chinese
Do not do this

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>>35104797
Hallo OP
willkommen in Deutschland!

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>>35105661
+ if you need help to find a range just ask my here.
I will call your local rangemasters if you want to practice something special

>>35105432
I'm not in the military

>>35104797
>Incoming MRE!!!

Damn, I heard that MRE's are awful but I had no idea they were that bad

>>35104797
come to germany
>shoot guns
>bring your guns
>fuck german grils
>never combat

>>35104797
If you don't plan to become an CO or NCO you don't need to worry about languages. If you intend to reach a higher rank English and Dutch or French are the only languages that can be useful to some extend

>>35105580
Je suis un petite verre de lait.

>>35105464
>fuckwit

Neckbeard detected, also how do you expect your average person to know that? You make it sound like it's common knowledge. enough showing off on 4chan for you.

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>>35105398

>>35104998
Arabic or Russian.

>>35105580

it's easier for a frog to learn english than the opposite. As a chil I had to learn 6 different tenses, accents all over the place and stupid grammatical exceptions.
Your are doing quite well, and as bro-tip, if you go to France and speak this way, you're gonna fuck a hell lot of bitches.

just a thing though, you don't give a plural to numbers, it's quatre and not quatres. Other than that, it's breddy gud.

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>>35104797
>>35104998
Do Arabic it's actually super easy and if you pick a dialect to learn learn the Syrian dialect it's super fun and easy

>>35104998
>>35105398
But Chinese is fucking easy, you just have to have good memory.

>>35109031
Chinese is hard because Chinese people are the worst Asians to deal with, they are as arrogant as Canadians and as greedy as Jews

>>35107603
Thank you.

>>35109031
>>35109044
Dubs confirm and I concur, I learned this lesson before it was shared on here. Getting fucked over is the last thing people want and frankly I hate the dishonest regardless if it's "cultural misunderstandings" or not. (if your culture makes it okay to lie, cheat, and steal then your culture is garbage)

>>35109904
>>35104998
Seriously! I mean if you wanna be a weeb and learn an Asian language there are better ones with nicer people. Korean is not hard to learn and it's of importance now, so that's a good one and if you are doing it for some Mclovins pick a south East Asian language you'll have a higher chance not getting a butter face

>>35110080
Only problem is those types of gooks are kinda like white trash but asian unless you get a communist but communists are trash