If you were an alien invader, how would you attack earth?

The obvious answer would be send a meteor into the earth at ftl speed, but it would be more fun to just punt the earth a little out of alignment so we all freeze or cook by a few degrees. Either that or fire some heat ray into the surface of Yellowstone in the hopes of triggering an eruption

>>35029059
That information is classified.

t. Lizard person

>>35029059
I'd hijack and slowly replace political parties of the most powerful nation on earth. It'd be a slow but effective process.

>>35029059
>If you were an alien invader, how would you attack earth?
Who are we first of all? How am I supposed to answer that question without any facts?
What's our culture like?
What's our technology like?
Is it an absolute emergency that we have to take every last resource and kill the populations? Or does it make more sense to show superiority and leave the planet/life mostly intact and take a "tribute" of supplies.

>>35029059
From space.

>>35029059
depend on the goals.
if I had the need for humans, I would infiltrate and use a fuck load of gold to secretly take control of its midia and economy and eventually of their so called governments. they would not even know they were conquered.
if I had no need for humans, i would rain asteroids on the oceans for weeks, months or even years, till everyone was dead.

Something biochemical that is extremely effective at killing humans. It would have to degrade and become benign in a matter of months at most though. We need the other humans as slaves and to perform experiments on, after all.

Then just mop up the rest with conventional methods

>>35029059
Use my alien magic to put niggers in every seat of power, give some of the niggeriest-nogs the best weaponry known to our alien kind.

Go on vacation for 2 weeks

Come back and sift through the desolate ruins that was once a civilized earth.

>inb4 >>>/pol/

>>35029059
Either glass the planet or add mass to the Sun until it goes supernova.
Who'd need a planet with stupid hairless monkeys wearing shoes on it anyway?

Have the people of the most powerful country elect a complete imbecile who knows nothing and watch war slowly envelope the earth.

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Mutilate cattle and probe anuses

>>35029163
Isn't Obama proof that that wouldn't work?

>>35029163
Fuck you. And I don't even like Trump that much really.

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>>35029059
Depends on the goal.

>Do I want to exterminate them for lulz?
>>35029099
Like this guy, send a massive asteroid on a collision course and kill all life.

>Do I want to keep the planet for its resources?
Biological weapons/virus to kill off humanity.

>Do I want to enslave the planet?
Years of recon and then strike all the military facilities simultaneously. Also hit the power facilities, utilities, etc. Wipe out notable national capitals to just sew more chaos to prevent any real organized response. An EMP attack to knock out all the technology and destroy the satellites in orbit. Proceed to take advantage of the populous which now resides in the stone ages.

>>35029376
>way to enslave humanity
I agree, then I would land my motherbase(s) under the see and engage a world blockade. Not a single plane or ship allowed to cross the oceans.

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Teleport to the surface, naked, and fart on people.
Just hope it doesn't rain since that water shit kills me.

>>35029329
No one does. It was him or Hillary tho.

Infiltrate their social media and use memes to put the younger generations into a sense of depression and self-hatred and general apathy, then direct that hatred at each other, then watch them tear themselves apart.

Once that's done, show up as the benevolent beings from beyond and lift them from their self-inflicted squalor. Slavery works best when your servants accept it willingly.

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>>35029059
nice try alyums im not telling you
get you own erff

>>35029521
Good thing I didn't vote. But yeah, I still think even fucking Trump is better than that bitch.

If aliums could reach earth they probably would have enough resources and technology that they'd have no real use for enslaving us. If I was the leader of the aliums in this case I'd send a single fuckhuge mech that I could control remotely to walk around and fuck shit up as I pleased. It wouldn't even need to be particularly powerful or effective as long as it was strong enough to survive several nukes and even if they did manage to destroy it I could just meme them with asteroids.

>>35029645
It was between a idiot, a criminal and a communist, there were no winning choices only lesser of evils

>>35029672
yuropean here, and i must say, Bernie was the best choice

>>35029376
You're thinking too hard. Just wipe out all electronics and offer infinite Wi-Fi in exchange for eternal servitude.

>>35029733
Maybe if he didn't turn against gun rights to get more libtard voters.

>>35029059
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GImJdrCSOFA

>>35029059
Lots of threads about alien invasions recently
What are you planning Mr. Ayy Man?

>>35029059
Nuke population centers.
Degeneracy is not permitted by my type 2 civilization.

>>35029733
I would've vote for the Colonel if it weren't because his bleeding heart liberal shit included even more bullshit against gun owners.

I mean, I can get behind in a couple of things in the liberal agenda(abortion, for example), and Bernie truly sounded like a cool guy from time to time. But trying to mess with my guns? Kill yourself you fucking hippie. No wonder even that horrible, horrible woman stepped on you, you fucking pushover.

>>35029059

I'd create a race of physically strong, mentally dull, and naturally violent creatures that strongly resembled humans. I'd release them and as they breed/spread, the humans would accept them as their own. These beasts would slowly but surely ravage the lands, bringing down all forms of civilization, ruining everything they touch, and even breeding with humans until all that remains are half breeds.

>>35029850
I like black chicks. Only fucked twice yet though.

>>35029521
45% of the country trusts him with few conditions.

>>35029106
t. Schlomo

>>35029733
>yuropean here
opinion discarded

>>35029776
>>35029837
isn't gun ownership a state issue either way?

>>35029106
So, America?

>>35029059

>Instigate degeneracy so half of the population are transcisgenderfluid somewhatsnowflakes that wont fight and drag resources of the other people because their medication, operations , welfare and quotas.

>economy stagnates as democracy of 50%-50% division always is on the brink of collapse.

>Big social division.

>Appear one of a sudden, 50% of the population or more is unable and unwilling to fight, the ones that can fight will willingly side with you.

BTW, we are more ore less across halfway our plan.

>>35029517
zim dont you have school tomorrow

Send them a weaponized FRB transmission.

>>35029059
Put something in the water that makes humans become infertile with a long incubation period, come back in a few decades to a less populated planet where the remaining natives are old and dying out.
Then either conquer them easily, or offer to fix their mysterious infertility problem and in doing so gain an ally that will always be in your debt, who are savage enough to wage brutal war over the smallest of things.

>>35030867
>suddenly an unknown and unexplainable substance appears in the water that makes human infertile (and only humans, no animals).
>a few decades later, an alien appears who just happens to have the cure for this mysterious sickness
What a lucky coincidence :DDDDDDD

>>35029059
Drop canisters of nerve agent around the globe whilst simultaneously striking hard military targets and shelters (swiss bunkers, cheyyanne mt., missile silos, naval bases, etc.) with kinetic kill vehicles to wipe out any resistance from the sapient species inhabiting the surface before sending in small military forces to clean up any survivors somehow missed in the initial bombardment, then insert a gengineered virus that destroys all life not coded with a base genetic pattern corresponding with that of my species whilst demolition techs, terraforming engineers, and other related personnel converted the planet to a primal, wild state in preparation for colonisation sometime in the next few millenia.

>>35029059
i would think really carefully if i want to deal with all this crap. it would probably violate two million treaties and regulations galaxy wide. what do these backwards lame ass monkeys have that i need?

>>35029059
virus that kills all human life and then send a clean up crew

>>35031038
Like people that think that won't be dismissed as conspiracy theorists

>>35029059

If it where enslavement, lob a couple of asteroids at Earth, wait a couple of years/decades and introduce myself to humanity as their savior with technological marvels that can mitigate the asteroid's damage. If it where extermination just lob even more asteroids until nothing is left alive.