Who wins in a fight? You with a baseball bat or you with a machete?

me with a gun

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>>34965616
Everybody wins

>>34965616
whoever gets the first crippling blow in

I win

machete. baseball bat is good, but if i get hit to the thigh with a baseball bat i can probably still stand. if i'm hit to the thigh with a machete, my leg is cut, possibly to the bone.
baseball bats are overrated in combat, they're probably only featured so heavily because they're common in burgerlan

>>34965616
Why is everybody's instinct on this to kill the clone? I'd team up with mine and do criminal stuff.

>>34965829
>I'd team up with mine and do criminal stuff.
I would fuck mine and be fucked.

>>34965828
This. It's the machete. Machetes can cause irreversible damage and bleed you out in a short time. There's a video of some guy getting hit in the neck with a machete and a fountain of blood is gushing from him before he even hits the floor.

I mean, if a baseball bat hits you in the head, you're out of the fight - but if a machete hits you anywhere, you're out of the fight.

One hit with a bat and you're out cold

>>34965855
see, this guy understands what clones are for

The only problem is the fact that the Bat could very well destroy the Machete if you hit it had enough. Then the fight becomes You with a Bat vs You with a twisted piece of garbage. Still gonna give it to the 'Chete though.

>>34965855
Is that considered incest or masturbation?

Bat has superior reach, one solid blow from either to any portion is GOING to down 95% of the skinnyfat or fatfat fucks on this board. Guy with the bat crushes an arm, or a leg, or a head, because he has more range and his weapon is made to be wielded with two hands- more force

>>34965616
A bat very top heavy, and who would have known its actually meant to hit balls not as a weapon. If you put too much into your swing and miss you're machete twins got your balls.

>>34965616
me with machete probably. machete me would try and rip the bat from other me's hands

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>>34965898
If you get stabbed in the stomach with a switchblade, you can still fight. If you get hit in the chin with a good punch, you will be knocked out and your opponent can do with you as they please, including taking your knife off you and inserting it into your spine.

>>34965616
You beats you unconscious.

>>34965616
Me with a bat. Machetes are heavy and unbalanced, but don't have a long enough grip to hold two handed to compensate, which means I'd have to really commit to a blow, that other me holding a baseball bat could easily parry.

I played ball through highschool and college, my swing is very fast and precise. Plus bats are generally longer, giving batMe an even bigger advantage.

The only feasible way for macheteMe to win would be to close the distance and use the edge to cut BatMe up, hopefully causing enough pain to give MacheteMe an edge (no pun intended) in the ensuing grapple, assuming BatMe doesn't disengage and regain distance. It's not out of the realm of possibility though that macheteMe grabs the bat and caves BatMes head in with the blade though.

Tough call, but I'd say BatMe 7/10 times.

I'd totally suck his dick first though, I've always really liked my penis.

And remember it's not gay, it's masturbation.

>>34965898
i can think of at least 9 other places where i hit you with the bat and you're out of the fight and if i hit you a second time you're done like a bun
im callin you out motherfucker
you go get your walmart machete and i'll use my bat. i actually have a 15# sledgehammer which is even better, but you chose the bat so i'll go easy on you.

>>34967383

gay

>>34965616
>>34965616
machete since it doesnt take any significant force for a lethal hit

>dodge bat attack, barely push machete forward for lethal stab

>>34967383
>Machetes are heavy and unbalanced
>baseball bats aren't
nigga wut

>>34967466
That aren't. Haven't you ever held a good old wooden bat, nigger?

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>>34966357
Does it matter? I'd gladly fuck a clone of myself.

>>34967852
Why would you do that? That's so fucking gay. I'm really glad my clone would have my memories, because we would definitely not want to fuck. Hopeful he wouldn't want to kill me either, but I'm not sure I know myself well enough to know that I wouldn't kill my real self if I found out I was a clone of my real self.

>>34967428
Nah man, totally just me on me action.
>>34967450
>I've never stuck a knife into anything in my life
This is the dumbest thing in this dumb thread, machetes dont even have good points on them, they're made for chopping. Are you retarded or just 12?
>>34967466
Scratch that THIS is the dumbest thing in this thread.
>>34967852
My man
>>34967910
>I'm such a suppressed homosexual that I think I wouldn't let myself pound my boipucci in .3 seconds flat
Bullshit dude, you'd be slobbin your knob in no time.

>>34967960
If it's a clone of yourself, you will both be submissive buttsluts and only one of you will get the position you want.

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OC machete would. Before and after

>>34966357
Regardless, it's fuckin' gay.

>>34965616

I would never fight my own clone. We would team up.

>>34966186
Machetes are made out of spring steel so I doubt that's true.

>>34965616
You can use a machete one handed and try to grab the bat. But a blow to the head from a club and you're done instantly while it takes a lot of time to bleed out from cuts.

I wish I could clone myself but only clone the X chromosomes so that it turns out female and that way I have me but also a girl me
not only for fugg but also for curiosity

>>34967977
But I'm a switch anon :^)

>>34968253
A woman with 2 identical X chromosomes would probably be retarded. Every woman has one X chromosome from each of her parents.

>>34968253
Just fug your sister thatll be as close as you can get.

>>34968627
Actually, that wouldn't even be close. Fucking your sis has inbreeding coefficient of 1/4, which is the same as fucking your daughter, incidently. First cousin fucking has an inbreeding coefficient of 1/16, for comparisons sake.

A direct combination of two duplicated X chromosomes has inbreeding coefficient of 1. It's guaranteed potato.

>>34965616
probably machete-me, depends mostly on weapon length I guess.

mechete all day