Things your gun said when you bought it.

"Glock Perfection"

"I've been bukkaked by cosmoline, clean me."

"You cant kill with a .22"

>>34780535
"Why did you buy clips for me anon? You do know that surplus ammo for me already comes in clips, right? Did I fight through 2 world wars just to be bought by an idiot?"

Fuck you Steyr, I was just trying to get the fat fuck to shut up.

>>34780535

"You'll complete me."

>buying a stripped receiver

>>34780743
Glocks cant talk, they have no soul.

feed me commies

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>>34780535
"Oh god, it's so bright."
"Who's there?"
"Anon, huh? Funny name. Where's Joe? I haven't seen him for so long. Last time we were together was back Chosin, everything after that was a blur. I hope he's okay..."
"The wars over, right, we won the war and beat the commies, right? r-right? Anon? Why are you crying?"

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>>34781287
Goddamn those feels

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"Good goy."

>>34781287
Anon, please...

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>>34781287
My heart...

"Just because I'm a competition grade pistol doesn't mean you'll become a good shooter"

>>34780535
Don't stick my bolt handle in your butt.

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>>34780535
I know I'm not as pretty as the other girls, but I'll treat you better than any of them, hands down.

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>>34780535
>The Ministry of Internal Affairs chipped my stock.
>They threw me.
>They never cleaned me and used my buttstock as an ashtray.
>I'm not that pretty anymore.
>These guys at this, "Cabelas" are nice though.
>The man named Jim even cleaned me a little.
>Jim says nice things about me.
>Jim says another man is supposed to pick me up today.
>He's supposed to be nice too.

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You'll hate me and call me a piece of shit beater.
I'll get scratches maybe a gouge or two.
You'll change my eyes when they break, giving me metal framed glasses.
When you take me out we'll do things from sun up til sundown.
You'll feed me garbage at first then the finer things later.
I'll never leave you side and you'll never let me go.

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>oi vey, why did you sell me to a goyim?!

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"REEEEEEEEEEEEEE DONT TOUCH ME ILL BURN YOUR HAND"

>>34780535
"Chk-chk. Click. Click. Clack. Click. Zzzzzzzzzzipp'

>>34780535
" Just one more person who won't take care of me, yeah yeah I've heard that before kid. Just put me away after you're done fondling me , we both know you're never gonna need me."

"affix bayonet"

>"wowie super! i've been bought!"
>"boy do i look forward to losing my spot on the comfy display case and spending the next month in a dingy room while the paperwork gets pushed"

such is life in non-freedom land

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>>34781287

>MSR: "Oh boy! Someone picked me!"
>MSR: "Oh, wow! The paperwork only took 20 minutes? We can go home today!"
>MSR: "The range first? BEST DAY EVER!"
>MSR: "AWW YISS, feels good to be appreciated!"
>MSR: -yawn- "That was fun, but now I'm tired. Can you show me my new room?"
>MSR: "Huh? A roommate?"
>AK: "'Cyka blyat!"

"You can't handle me. We both know it."

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>"Alright boyo, first thing you wanna do when you get me out of this God forsaken display case is tear my lock out. I don't like it, it don't feel right. Do this for me, and I'll protect you till world's end."
"K."
>"Atta boy."

Unhand me gook.

Too bad I love telling white raifus what to do. Welcome to my rice field forever white piggy.

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I'm a little Overgassed. I had Taco Bell!!

a fucken gook....

>>34781287
Faggot.

>>34787703
no u

>>34780535
>Grey Vp9 on shelf for years.
Sempai finally noticed me

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>>34787614

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>for the love of god just don't leave me in the truck

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>>34780535
>Ar-at-are those handloads just for me anon?

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>he's... actually buying me?
>but I'm not pretty anymore
>my last owner covered me in deck paint, the end of my barrel has surface rust, and I haven't even been cleaned in years
>why would he want me
>he's... actually spending $300 on me?
>he even bought clips and an ammo pouch for me
>he said he's getting my wood fixed
>he... he even said he'd have it stained properly
>I'll be a real Russian red
>he doesn't even lock me away at home
>he actually lets me breathe
>he thinks I look good even with my shit paint job
>but he just wants me to look even better
>he didn't even hide me when those anti-gun girls he dates come over
>he cares for me
>i feel loved
>i'm happy

:)

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>Hm? What's up little guy?
>Parents split up?
>Your old man thinks you need a present to convince you it wasn't on you?
>Okay, if you think you can handle me.
>You're a little young, but we'll get stronger together.

"Hey can I handle this CZ 85?"
> click click click
"Huh. Nice trigger pull. Alright, let's get the paperwork started."

Wait, did you mean like, actual words?
Guns can't talk, dipshit.

>>34784211
>booo, i've got poltergeists inside me

>>34787703
#REKT

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>>34781287
The virgin post
>>34787703
The Chad response

>>34780535
"Please replace all my woodscrews with something nicer. Thanks for buying a CZ."

dhÿūng güâp ME ÖH

~ 7.7 Japanese Arisaka

>>34780535
>oh great another fat fuck who just wants to finger fuck me
>ok ok, you dry fired me 10 times. Now give me back to the clerk so I can sleep
>wait, you are buying me! Fuck me, I was hoping for a competent pistol shooter!

>>34787599
Found the Canadian.

>>34780535
I'm going to wind up inside your ass. aren't i?

>>34780535
"no, bubba no"

>>34793208
This one made me happy.

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>>34780535

Don, is that you? How long has it been?

Wait who are you?

No dumbass you just have to clean me I'm not broken

Fuck, back in the dresser for another 20 years

>Wait can I have it if I get it working
Maybe I'm not going back in the box afterall
>huh? Sure son but that gun hasn't shot since your grandfather was in the navy
Just clean me, and stop trying to load hollowpoints I wasn't made for that

>>34780535
blyat go cykaing shooting with me already.
>just got my first gun

>>34793537
>Guns can't talk, dipshit.
"An alternative to "anthropomorphism" is the word personification. It is almost identical in meaning to anthropomorphism, although perhaps a bit less technical. According to Literary Devices, personification is: Personification is a figure of speech in which a thing, an idea or an animal is given human attributes."
https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/262521/is-there-a-term-for-ascribing-acts-of-the-human-mind-to-non-human-objects-and-w

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>>34797450
>stop trying to load hollowpoints
You don't carry FMJ if/when you carry it, do you?

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>>34780535
>Stupid one-in-one-out rule, well at least this rack is high enough to get a view of the store.
>I think that guy with glasses is looking at me.
>Shit, he's buying me. Cool.
>Okay dude, the scope and mags that come with me are bros but that barrel mounted bipod is a cunt and screws up my harmonics.
>Also my locking interface is just a little off and you'll need to cant my front sight to get it zeroed. Of course I can't tell you that because I'm a gun and can't talk.
Later...
>Man I can really see much better with these aftermarket peep sights. Remember to can't my front sight.
Later still...
>Why are you taking me back and who's that guy with a drill? Ahhh!
>Oh, yeah I guess you can put sling swivels there. Just don't pull too tightly on the sling or my barrel might shift ever so slightly. Yeah it blows, but I am a takedown.

>>34801157

It absolutely refuses to feed hollowpoints. I don't carry it.

>>34780535
What's up you meme loving fuck?
This was my kriss vector (in 10mm).

GP100
>buying a blued revolver instead of stainless

LCR
>buying a lightweight snub revolver when your only revolver experience is a 4" steel frame

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>>34780535
"huehuehuehuehue"

I dont deserve this

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>>34780535
>This fat Syrian guy is a prick
>Why does he even sell guns?
>This younger guy looks nice
>He doesn't want me the way I am?
>AK bullets? If you say so...
>Hey, this doesn't fit too badly
>He's so excited to see me that he brought a friend, how cute
>Thank God all the Commiefornia shit is off
>Now I can breathe
>A drill? Anon be careful!
>OW OW OW OW
>Was that worth taking off the bullet button, Anon?
>Quit taking pictures and buy me a better gas block and sights

Bought a Vortex red dot, still haven't changed the gas block. Sorry girl.