>"pls don't shoot me anon ;_;"

>>34770365
No, I want to eat you and wrap myself in your skin.

>>34770365
Better me than some dick with his car. You taste too good, big fella.

>>34770365
I don't even hunt and this smug bastard's asking me to shoot him. Low effort.

>>34770365
life is a burden. i am doing you a favor

>>34770365
>>unzips dick

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>>34770365

>>34770392
does it matter? that jew was a jew...

>>34770407
SMASHING

>>34770383
Ever seen a deer get jacked by wolves? Deer almost never die peacefully of old age. They get chased down til they are exhausted and torn apart and eaten alive. If I was a deer I'd rather just be eating grass when BAM and the lights go out.

>>34770417
God, life as a deer sucks

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>>34770417
>>34770424
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzwbOZKfrUQ

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>>34770697

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>>34770697
did he died?

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>>34770697
Do you shoot the deer to put it out of its misery and let nature take its course or do you save the deer by shooting the bear?

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>>34770801
Yes.

>>34770697
I could have a deer skin, a bear fur rug, and about 600 pounds of meat. Nah, fuck it. I'd rather have the youtube views.

>>34770792
You see, son, when a boy bear and a girl deer love each other very much...

>>34770697
That's why you gotta tell bears who's the boss.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ni0rqdUwqGs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VXyyZyOutw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtC14cpwwXg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gP3dhhJOBvQ

>>34770833
>girl deer

>>34770833
If a bear and a deer fugg what do you get? A Dear? Or a Beer?

>>34770859
Who's that cute doe (deer)?
Does she have antlers?

>>34770365
>BANG

Someone post the deer wife pic and the eggtimer story

>>34770857
IN SOVIET RUSSIA, YOU CHASE BEAR!

WHAT A COUNTRY!

>>34770947
You see Ivan, when you chase bear, you become it's master. It is like of Pokemon.

>>34770365
Alright, but I'm gonna need some pussy, boy or otherwise.

>>34770424
life as a human sucks

>>34770857
Fucking bears violating the NAP

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=40Fck4ux6sE

>>34770857
>that last one
>hunting black bears
you faggots leave them alone they are pussies and don't want to fuck with humans if they don't have to

>>34770365
>BRRRRRRRRRRT

>>34770365
I can't... I don't have a license.

I mean, poaching turkey and rabbit is fine, but what the fuck, how do I have to go through hunter's safety courses when I already have a CCW license and a decade of being a firearm enthusiast?

>venison is great tho

>>34770801
At that point its just 2 fur 1 amigo.

Get a nice bed spread AND some jerky.

But ffs just go for the neck bear, at least be like a jungle cat when its pinned and go for a neck-break.

>>34771194
I think I'm the only person who doesn't think venison is all that great of a meat. It's not terrible or anything, but people are always going on about how it's so delicious. In b4 "you haven't had it cooked right". People say that and I try theirs, and have to awkwardly smile and nod and say it's good to not be an asshole.

>>34771251
It's a lean meat, to echo their opinions, you have to prepare it right. You can't go into the experience thinking of a raised-from-birth fattened livestock animal. Also, a lot of hunters aren't good cooks.

>>34771308
For me, it's usually been 'hunter adjacent' women who cook it. Their dad or brother or cousin hunts and then gave them some meat. But how would you say it's prepared best? I've had it as marinated steak, ground up or chunked in a stroganoff, and sausage (was okay, probably had pork in it too though)

>>34771251
>>34771308
Venison is best in stews and sauces.

>>34770697
at this point you shoot the deer and if that bear gets any funny ideas you shoot it too

>>34770365

/AN/ won't save you now ... /Out/ won't save you either ... I'm fine shut up deer I don't have a problem I'm OK all alone , drinking ... I have memories they keep warm ... so will you. ..

>>34771369
Fuck, trying to find my .txt of a spit-roasted haunch. It's basically the whole leg, but cut on a spiral and stuffed with herbs and aeromatics, then put on a spit while basted with fat.

But anyway, it's a whole animal. I wouldn't do a pure venison ground meat, because it requires some fat. So you could either do it with something like pork fat, or do as us Wisconsinites where you get the lean ground beef and make a butter burger.

Backstrap is tenderloin. Salt and let it sit for a bit, it's more about texture but also delicious.

Then you can smoke a lot of it, or fry, or whatever. Honesty, hunting is one thing, but cooking is another. Rabbit isn't the finest meat, but I can damn sure make a good rabbit haunch in shallot-mustard-cream sauce to go on tagliatelle that would sell in a high-end restaurant.

>>34771406
it's nature, babe. Just let it happen.

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>>34770381
>wrap myself in your skin.
Buffalo Bill did have impeccable taste in firearms. Say what you will about him, he had a Colt Python.

>>34771165
Fuck you, black bears shit up the place. If they think you're food, they'll try to eat you.

>>34770417

Hunting just doesn't seem particularly sporting, you just see the animal and just blow it away, deer never stands a chance

Now if you ran one down and beat it to death with a stick, at least the deer had a chance to get away.

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>>34770365
i wouldn't
i would rather hug you~

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>>34770697
jesus christ

>>34770820
this

>>34771516
I can see it now, you on an ATV yelling at the driver to drive you closer so you can hit with your stick.

>>34771516
Compare it to trapping, then get back to us.

>>34771194
Because hunting involves more than shooting dumbass.

>>34771544

Well, the ATV would be cheating

>>34771560

If you made the trap yourself I don't see a problem

>>34770365
Humans must eat.

>>34770381
This.

>>34770383
Also better than dying a slow, painful death... which is the most likely outcome when dying in the wild. At least with a solid shot from a rifle to the heart/lungs area, death is brought on within seconds rather than hours or days.

>>34770417
Yup.

>>34770697
That's pretty much the alternative to a nice, humane, highly accurate shot to the heart/lungs which is lethal in seconds to minutes.

>>34771179
>Deer BRRRRRRRRRT back
https://youtu.be/c9GU4P-1AWI?t=8s

>>34771516
Would you rather be shot to death by a competent marksman or be beaten to death by someone who has no idea wtf they are doing? I swear you retards dont even try to think.

>>34771530
That webm of the deer sleeping on a bed is adorable, to be fair. Also, this is cute.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_DQyOCtIZw

Ultimately though, if you tried to hug it, it'd likely try to run away. If you cornered it and tried to hug it, it'd probably rear up and try to bash your skull in with its front hooves. The wild is uncivilized, it is brutal, and before we developed modern civility hunger would drive us to TRY and corner such a beast to try and take it down with clubs, axes, or whatever other weapon or tool we might have handy. It is only thanks to our agriculture and our industrialization of the huge amount of livestock, plus our ability to so effectively preserve foods in such a variety of ways, which provides a surplus, that allows leftists to whine and complain that hunters kill animals to provide for themselves and for their own family instead of buying meat at a grocery store which ultimately still came from an animal that was killed.

That aside, yeah, it'd be nice to have a pet deer and hug it.

>>34771660
>The wild is uncivilized, it is brutal, and before we developed modern civility hunger would drive us to TRY and corner such a beast to try and take it down with clubs, axes, or whatever other weapon or tool we might have handy.

you are saying as it was some cave bear

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>>34770365

>>34770697
Waste 'em both.

>>34770697
Shoot the deer, the bear, then the wife.

>>34771632

Given the choice of dealing with a guy with a gun, or a guy using a stick, which one would you rather deal with assuming you're a deer?

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>>34770801
Shoot the deer. By the way the bear has it it is already fucked and it will keep the bear from relying on humans feeding it and will hopefully make it less invasive in surrounding neighborhoods.

By no means would it be an easy decision but it's just how shit goes. It would be the humane thing for both of them.

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>>34771598
>there's faggots on here right now wishing they were behind that doe smelling and getting off to every whiff

>>34771943
... suddenly it's not so funny anymore... because you're right. If not in this thread specifically then either on /k/ or on SOME of the boards on 4Chan. More than one for sure.

>>34771943
I'm not a fart fetishist, but I would 100% fuck a doe otherwise.

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Y u kell fertile deer wife?

>>34773183
>Antlers
She's a doe (buck), isn't she...

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Is it true that women exhibit the same behavior as the average prey animal?

>>34771406
What you should do is wait for the bear to kill the deer, and then shoot the bear when it's done so that you can eat both of them with minimal effort.

>>34773569
>eating predatory animals
They taste like shit

Reminder: smaller bears are pussies and if you're afraid of them your wife is justified in cheating on you.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=alD6LpZ-a2w

>>34771516
>lets substitute ethical killing with animal abuse

>>34771516
Then become a bow hunter. Stalk the cunt for 3 hours then a branch falls and the buck fucks off.

>/k/ shooting a deer
From the stories I've read here /k/ is more likely to fuck the deer.

>>34771902
Humans hunted many animals into extinction long before firearms were on the scene. Dont be fucking stupid.

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>>34773666
Fuck and kill, one and the same

>>34771902
Without firearms it probably would not be a single guy going after any animal that isn't small game. This is true for thousands of years in almost every culture. So generally if a band of humans got their eye on a deer its going down. Your notion of 'sporting' is out moded.

>>34770407
> deer hunting with VATS.

>>34770365

believe it or not, deer are actually considered to be pests because there are so many of them and if private citizen hunters did not cull their numbers down then the gubbmit would have to do it

they eat food crops spread disease

of course the anti-human approach is there are too many people.....

>>34771902
ok you're a deer
would you rather your death be slow and arduous spread across months of starvation, finally succumbing after a bear mauls you and eats you alive, or you get a .308 round through your heart, killing you in seconds if not instantly?

>>34771194
Shooting and firearms saftey is about 5% of hunting. It's like saying why do I have to be a certified electrician I know how to use a screwdriver.

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>>34770401

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>>34770365
No.

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>>34770365
>but they look so delicious. (V)(;,,,:)(V)

>>34770365
Sorry Bambi, had to kick the dust some time...

>>34771157
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3qhEIZBlX8

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Kay, stabbing it is then.

Shouldn't have crossed me on the interstate
BANG

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>>34770365
Too late, antler dog

>>34770697
>"call somebody"

What a fucking faggot.

>>34773531
>giving a shit when you could use those antlers as handlebars while pounding the doe(buck)'s pussy

>>34771165
Black bear is delicious, fuck off.

>>34770697
those death screams mein got

>>34771516
fucking normies would complain about that too ((( muh cruelty)))

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJGd7G2wYuU

>>34778390
>dat buckpussi

>>34771369
>>34771251
Meat that lean isn't for everyone, and unless you live in a northern state where the yearlings are big enough, venison is almost always going to be older and tougher than beef. I like it butterflied and pan fried, I like it in stew, and I like it in sausage, though you need to add fat. Venison liver is also great, as is the heart, but you need to slow cook it.

Venison jerky is what you do when you shoot an old deer that's too tough to eat properly.

It always surprises me when someone doesn't want venison, but I'm always careful to tell them that they should feel free to not take it if they don't want it, more for me.

>>34778555
the grunting is both me and the pigs.

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Look at this broker antler mofo

>>34778656
Apparently, I was hunting in Australia

>>34773571
Bear mostly live on fruits and greens unless they are coastal browns, which live mostly on grass and fish.

They take meat when they can get it, but so long as they aren't garbage eaters, they taste fine. They are kinda fatty and stronger flavored than any domestic meat, of course, but if you don't mind strong flavor, they are good to eat, especially in sausage or slow cooked with fruit and sage or juniper.

>>34770365
>inb4 some deranged animal activist figures out a way to arm deer and bears with robot thumbs and trains them to shoot back.

>>34778627
quiet

>>34771516
>confirmed for never hunting
Unless you do it with 6 million gadgets. The sportsmanship comes from the hunt not the kill.

>>34775488
man that's a fat durr. How much did he weigh?

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More deer. Will probably be Australian

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Nuther dur

>>34770801
>Shoot them both
>Get them into the house as quickly as possible
>Tell the neighbors your air compressor ruptured
>A-anon I didn't hear it running...
>Yeah, I think the pressure gauge broke last time I was using it. I went and checked it out and the valve had ruptured.
>Oh... okay then
>Drag dead animals through house, ignoring your wife's bitching and your children's horror
>Butcher them in the garage
>Make a rug out of the bear, leather out of the deer
>Have meat for weeks
>Have a great story to tell in a couple of years when you're sure your neighbors won't rat your ass out.

>>34770863
Underrated post.

>>34770365
nigger i'm hungry tho

>>34770407
Is this how fudds imagine the effects of an AR-15?

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>>34770407

>>34770365
Don't worry I'm a vegetarian.

>>34770697
>how it feels to chew 5 gum

>>34779086
It's how antigunners imagine every round, 22lr to .50bmg

>>34778185
>>34778656
>>34778770
>>34778790
>hunting over feeders

Goddamn I hate Texans sometimes.

>>34770407
How it feels to chew five-gum.

>>34779193
Only sometimes?

>>34779005
almost highly rated trips

>>34770365
I told you to stay away from our white women!
*pulls trigger*

>>34778667
Laughed waay to hard at that, thanks anon.

>>34779268
You need to be over 18 to use the site.

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>>34778588
Wew lad

>>34778937
This is a good. Is it legal? There is probably a season for the things but if it is killing a deer on your property can you kill it and not have to report to wildlife?

Also, I think I knew this stuff wasn't pretty. I was kinda shocked by the screaming. I thought it just kinda happened quietly.

>>34770697
Jesus Christ bear hurry up.
Fucking 3 minutes of death wails because apparently killing a dear with teeth and claws takes a millennium.

>>34770801
Both. The deer is most likely mortaly wounded and the bear for whatever reason feels that it's acceptable to hunt in human territory (a recipe for disaster)

>>34778555
Fuuuck that's legit. Wonder if any of the spooky types in Vietnam would drown enemy sentries in rice paddies like that.

Checked.

>>34778656
are you splintercell?

>>34771369
Deer bologna is great. Get the cracker sized pieces. That's some good shit.

>>34770424
That goes for all animals, really. Most humans had torturous, violent deaths until relatively recently.

>>34771374
Try some venison chili sometimes. Jesus that stuff is good.

>>34770801
Deer, the bear would have killed it anyway and it was just lookin to grab a venison burger.

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>>34779710
>never seen something raped to death before
anon...

>>34770697
>when you see three minutes of painful death screaming knowing that if you were in this situation it would all be over in 30 seconds
>and you'd have a bitchin bear skin

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>>34776913
I'm fucking crying imagining this. My sides hurt so bad

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>>34776865
Oh god my sides

>>34779396
Lolwhat
It's the little things in life anon.

>>34770365
you got two options
surrender a hole or i'll give you a new one
make up your mind

>>34770365
I wasn't, but since you're being such a faggot, I'm going to now.

>>34770365
>Chill in the woods all day being majestic, spread seeds and be a part of the circle of life
>Some jerk comes along and kills you from a half mile away while hiding in a tree so he can feel like a man, even though that's a cowardly way to kill something and you're not even a predator species

I don't get it, never will.

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>>34780964
because you are a faggot who would rather see them overpopulate and die of famine, or disease, or a slow death from a shattered spine on the side of the road

>>34770365

*stomps doggo*

>>34780964

It's the mentality of beta fag LEOs/bullied kids/bootcamp dropouts.

>>34780964
>dies violent death after being torn apart by wolves
>it's okay because it's natural

>>34774626

If I'm dying of starvation then I fucked up. If I get caught by a bear and get eaten, then I fucked up letting a bear catch me.

Getting blasted by some human with a magical death stick isn't some case of needing to git gud, I never stood a chance.

>>34771165
.t cucked black bear

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>>34770697

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>>34782322
>I saved the wrong picture

>>34778555
"Drown motherfucker"
also checked

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>>34779208

>>34782322
Huh. Picture was better than the thread.

>>34770365
Sure thing buddy, just don't run out in front of my car. I paid a lot for it.

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>>34770697
>fuck!
>that's nature babe let it happen

>>34778709
>inb4 some brilliant sport figures out a way to make hunting interesting
Fixed.

>>34782795

dat wife though

Would happily go in the mediterranian watch refugees drown with her at my side whispering 'that's nature babe let it happen"

>>34782795
That's how their firstborn was conceived.

>>34770383
>Some dick with his car
Yeah, let me tell you, as a resident northern Michigander the guy in his car is most definitely, 110% of the time, not the dick.

These fuckers ask for it 9/10, and that extra 1 time they're just too stupid for their own good.

These things are pests, cost property damage and even health damage on par with some of the worst pests in the world, and should be eradicated as such.

>B-but anon, they were here first!

Then they should have built an armed society first, but they didn't.

I don't even like venison, I would throw all of their fresh corpses in a hole and douse it with gasoline

t. lost 2 cars to deer, both were completely out of my control, and caught the deer basically mid-leap across the road.

>>34770365
No, I got rid of your natural predator mister wolf and need to make up for it by keeping you in check, otherwise you eat all the green and spread all the lyme and the environment and your own kind suffer
I'm doing this to better the survivors of your species, deer-o

>>34778555

Rice eating bastards

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>>34770697

Is he ok?

>>34770697

That is literally just like me and my gf trying anal for the first time in my last birthday.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gt2W1YGpQJg&t=389s

>>34770365
*BANG*

>>34770697
Does the deer win an Oscar for that performance?

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>>34780964
>predators killing and eating lower order species is unnatural

>>34770365
Imma deck you in the schnoz!

>>34783746
Hunting in the future is going to be amazing.

>Alright guys I'll see you later, I'm gonna go hunt some Laser Deer in the Cyber-woods
>BEEEOWW! BEEOW!
>FWEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
>KA-BOOOM!
>mmmm, this one is gonna make a lovely stew.

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>>34780964
is this bait?

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>>34770365
HOLY FUCK A TALKING DEER

>>34789325
... planning to take it out with a fucking .22lr and a ridiculously oversized scope considering the limitations of the cartridge? Seriously, it would make more sense to put a scope like that on a 9mm carbine, and that would also be very ridiculous. Some would argue that even putting a scope like that on a firearm chambered in 7.62x39 would be ridiculous.

Sorry, I don't know why that triggers me so damn much...

>>34789325
Took long enough

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>>34770365

>>34789412
P E A K A E S T H E T I C S

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>>34776865

>002 seconds in

>THANK YOU FOR LEAVING MY KIYAK ALONE

>that fauxe gratitude and passive aggressive tone

>IM GONNA PEPPER SPRAY YOU IN THE FACE

>bear ignores

>GO AWAY

>bear approaches kiyak

>COME BACK

>>34789358

its so he can target specific cells of his targets body and ricochet the bullet into their DNA causing them to melt into a primordial ooze

>>34779710
Bears don't kill their prey first like, let's say, a Mountain Lion. Lion's grab the throat and kill their prey by cutting off the air or ripping the jugular. Bears just catch the prey, stomp up and down on it to incapacitate, then just start eating. Half the time they either bury the body, for carrion, or drag it up a tree to eat later.

>>34791738
She sounds like that drunk bitch that always gets kicked out of the bar and argues with the bouncer to be let back in.

>>34789358
>>34791787
>Faggots who don't know .22lr is the cartrige of choice for durr poachers.

>>34791840

you just sound upset your not killing horned mongrels on a cellular level,pleb

>>34791836

now that you say it,yeah she really does right down to not being able to make verbal sense

im wondering if she was on something or drunk

>>34774223

>when the bloody mess perk kicks in

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>>34771533
Die Schwarze Pille.

"Spread that ass"

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>>34770365

>>34770365
Don't worry bro, I've got plenty of animals to eat that live short, dark, brutal lives. You go frolic in the forest and get some deer pussy or whatever.

>Nobody posted 10/10 furry deer sluts

I'm disappointed, /k

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>>34775470
Gee, I guess that's why "hunter's safety," class is the requirement for a license. Guess we shouldn't even give aspiring electricians the certifications to get their apprenticeships at that rate!

You've gave one of the stupidest analogies I've ever read, without even mentioning that putting a bullet through an animal requires no technical skill other than trigger pull, or safety concern other than knowing what's behind it.

>>34791738
Women can be so fucking retarded. When are we going to come up with artificial overies n' shit so that we don't have to bother with them?

>>34785077
>t. lost 2 cars to deer, both were completely out of my control, and caught the deer basically mid-leap across the road.

I'd laugh at you for being a shitty driver but I've seen this happen.

Fucking deer will creep up on the road, look at the oncoming car, carefully judge its speed and distance, you can see them running through all kinds of math and geometry.

Then they'll sprint across the road with perfect timing ensuring both the oncoming car and the deer themselves get wrecked. I've seen this shit happen to two others myself.

Fucking city beautification projects really work against you when it comes to deer. They casually waltz all over the [admittedly empty] two-lane downtown roads in Ann Arbor around midnight. You can see them grazing in the grass fields by the hospital and around the VA.

>>34779086
It's the actual effect of .243 which probably isn't too different from a 5.56 soft point.

>>34771369
Lots of fat and/or butter.

I made a great tenderloin with red wine sauce, you cook in the oven until rare then finish in a searing cast iron skillet. Sauce is just deglaze pan with wine, chicken stock, cloves, garlic, and like 5-6 other spices.

Also for burger you have to mix your grind with 25% bacon fat/75% venison, and make sure to remove all the venison fat before grinding. That's where all the gamey taste comes from, not the muscle fiber.

>>34770941
are you sure you don't mean egg vibrator?

>>34770365
Don't jump in front of my car, asshole.

>>34776913
Carl Carwindows strikes again

>>34785639
Did she hurt you much anon?

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>>34778555
>barefoot

>>34789412
THICC vs. STICC

>>34778555
>hehehe oink oink oink
while he stabs the corpse

this guy is on /k/ right now