[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | Free Show | Home]

Have guns ever gotten you laid? Green text your stories.

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 145
Thread images: 35

File: Fish Gun.jpg (72KB, 1066x1500px) Image search: [Google]
Fish Gun.jpg
72KB, 1066x1500px
Have guns ever gotten you laid? Green text your stories.
>>
>>34766065
Bitches get wet when they see my nugget collection.
>>
>take girl to range
>stick my op rod in her action later
>>
File: 1475041585347.jpg (108KB, 960x941px) Image search: [Google]
1475041585347.jpg
108KB, 960x941px
>>34766065
>>
>>34766065
>sweden
>at party
>leftist girl talking about how we need to ban hunting rifles
>she's pretty good looking
>rather than just keeping my mouth shut like I usually do, I agree with her
>have long discussion about it
>make out later

Literally the opposite. But I supposed in a way they helped.
>>
>>34766153
OP here, faux hatred of guns getting you laid counts.
>>
>>34766138
I hope her action wasn't filled with contagious rust, anon. Gotta wrap your op rod.
>>
File: N U T.jpg (24KB, 600x436px) Image search: [Google]
N U T.jpg
24KB, 600x436px
>>34766065
If you take an inexperienced shooter to the range, you can use the opportunity of correcting their grip/stance to grind their ass. Tell her to wear yoga pants "because the brass can burn your legs without proper coverage."
>>
Where can I find a cute petite girl that's into guns?
>>
>>34766364
North Korea
>>
>>34766153
>>34766214

Way to fucking enable them and their cancerous beliefs.
>>
>>34766383
Well then tell us, anon. How would you have sealed the deal with her? Let's hear your strategy.
>>
File: behead all thots inshallah.jpg (153KB, 948x669px) Image search: [Google]
behead all thots inshallah.jpg
153KB, 948x669px
>>34766411
Not him, but dealt with this back in college. Just wait for the debate to reach the point when they say you like guns cause you have a small dick. Go about it how you want, but offer them to see or feel your junk. Ended up fucking the whole night at her dorm, but it probably only worked because we were both drunk.
>>
>>34766411
literally: "#notallguns girl! Remember allies needed guns to kill evil fascist nazis! If the glorious 3rd Stand in france wouldn't have used guns, we wouldn't have french revolution and therefore no glorious democracy allwing you to talk such fascist crap! Now if you want i can take you to the shooting range, provided you have protection *wink, wink*"
>>
File: zzzzzatruth!.png (129KB, 1863x668px) Image search: [Google]
zzzzzatruth!.png
129KB, 1863x668px
>>34766411
>>34766522
>>34766530
>>
File: 1353575355126.png (5KB, 645x773px) Image search: [Google]
1353575355126.png
5KB, 645x773px
>implying I get laid
>>
Nobody on /k/ gets laid
>>
>>34766065
Why yes actually. Qt 40 something i work with. Now we're dating and all. I'm only 20 something by the way.

>she's into guns
>flirt a little over text
>wanna hang out, go shooting maybe?
>sure anon
>get home after using old laptops as target practice (i work in companies IT department)
>she's super flirty
>things get hot and heavy
>now she's my girl and were dating
>>
>>34766725
Does she remind you of your mother?
>>
File: 1498680031657.png (2MB, 817x1024px) Image search: [Google]
1498680031657.png
2MB, 817x1024px
>be me
>kinda into this 10/10 qt3.14
>see each other all the time
>nervous about asking her out
>always feel a little more confident when I carry
>"Today's the day, I'm finally going to make this happen"
>see her in the park with her friend
Shit, wasn't thinking she was going to be with anyone
>see her start to head over towards the restroom
>nervousnowsmychance.jpg
>wait for her to get out
>stick the barrel in her back, tell her to come quietly or I blow her fucking head off
>rape.her
...a few minutes later, her fri3nd comes to check on her
>rape her too

Yeah, man! My gun got me laid twice in one day!
>>
>>34766895
This got a little bit dark, anon.
>>
>>34766065
>tell me lies on the internet
For what purpose?
>>
>>34766522
but what if i do have a small dick?
>>
>>34766292
In college used to take the Yuro foreign exchange girls to the range to shoot .22s and a shotgun if they were brave. Used to "correct their stances", they always had a blast. Used to have all kinds of fun.
>>
File: LaughingMuslims-424x330.jpg (36KB, 424x330px) Image search: [Google]
LaughingMuslims-424x330.jpg
36KB, 424x330px
>>34766895
Tough guy needs a gun to rape a tiny little woman
>>
fucken women...
>be student
>as expected, university is extreme left wing encampment
>be Kraut, so its even worse
>doing maths homework with a couple girls
>surprisingly not dumb, they do most of the work
>ok.jpg
>get done
>relaxed conversation ensues
>one of the girls ("H.") is a loooong time friend
>"N." is muslima
>"S." is waaay too vanilla, also no sense of humor
>no interest in none of them, so spaghetti is well under control
>conversation goes into politics
>and then into guns
>was shortly after the 2016 brusseles attacks iirc
>whatever, they're women so their opinion is mostly emotion anyway
>suddenly S. be like
> >wait, anon, do you own guns?
> >yea I do
> >isnt that illegal?
> >nope
> >but anon, why?
>at that point I realize S. won't "get" it, no matter how much I explain
>so I reply, and these are my exact words (modulo translation)
> >because I have a small penis and I need to compensate for it
>H. cracks up, literally can't breathe
>N. shocked at my harsh language, deer in headlights stare
>S. don't know what to say
>drops the topic like only a woman can
>>
>work shifts at strange hours
>10am on wednesday no work till 11pm
>Go to range, early on a weekday so it's empty except for one guy
>we get talking, make up stupid range games, become range buddies
>become good friends, start hanging out outside range too
>one evening we're drinking at his place
>he starts flirting, realize he's gay
>we end up fucking right there on his couch
And that's how I found my current boyfriend, I just wish he wouldn't make so many jokes about slamfiring my butt.
>>
>>34768121
well the OP didn't specify "women"... can't say I am surprised though
>>
>>34766065
guns no, guitars yes
>>
>>34768121
hey, it's a degenerate on the internet. what a surprise.
>>
>>34767757
H. sounds pretty chill desu
>>
My guns, in fact have done the direct opposite.

>Get off work, start talking to cute girl that works on one of the floors
>Decide to go get lunch
>Tell her I need to run to my jeep and chance my shirt, don't like people asking me if I'm working there, or coming to me with problems ( I work security )
>Change my shirt and grab my carry and a jacket
>Meet with girl for lunch
>Start talking an BSing, she's pretty cool
>She has a beer with lunch, fuck it, she's an adult, gets real chatty afterwards
>Talk about random stuff, till she busts out with " I can't wait for Hillary to win so we can get rid of guns "
>I respond with a very flat " okay "
>She looks at me, " You don't have a gn, Anon, do you? "
>Get up, pay for my half of the check and leave
>Come to work next day and find out she quit
>She told her boss that she " no longer felt safe in the building ".
>>
>>34768325
Acoustic guitar I assume?
>>
>>34766065
>take girlfriend shooting as a first date
>been together over a year now
>>
>>34768385
nope. Those faggots that can't play are the ones that play acoustic out in the park.

i played Smooth - Santana at a small club and ended up with a girl for it. Also during school played at school and somehow i ended the day with a girlfriend. She said she found how i could play really hot. Ended up with her for 6 years.

pretty good for an awkward fuck.
>>
File: 1461756425599s.jpg (7KB, 231x218px) Image search: [Google]
1461756425599s.jpg
7KB, 231x218px
>>34766895
>>
>>34766522
This actually works. Maybe not that specific scenario, but the general concept. I'm actually friends with a girl who is VERY anti gun, and we used to fuck constantly. Honestly, I think she kind of secretly liked that I was into guns, because the ensuing arguments would always lead to angry sex.
>>
>>34766895
I was waiting for this.
>>
>>34767638
Jelqing
>>
>>34767638
Start fapping while they laugh at your small dick
>>
>>34768399
Good I thought you will be one of those 3 chord acoustic fags
>>
>>34768481
Hell no, they piss me off.

It's always a greasy loser with a cheap goodwill acoustic, 3 chords and upper lip fuzz. Goddamn i hated them through college.
>>
Oh yes.
>Car is in the shop
>Fuck if that's gonna keep me from Shooting Saturday
>Tuck rifle in scabbard
>Tie scabbard to bicycle and pedal away
>Do my usual thing and wave hello to everyone I see stumbling home from last day's afterparties
>Have a blast at the range and go home
>While cleaning my gun, get a call from the copper, asking if I mind coming to the station on Monday
>Think nothing of it
>Get there on Monday
>"Anon there is someone who wants to report you for threatening them with a gun last Saturday, what happen"
>Tell him I kept it in my scabbard and rode straight to the range and straight back home
>He suggests getting me and the offended party together to talk it out before the offended party eventually takes it to court
>Of course, don't want to go to court
>Day comes for the meeting
>Would you fuckin know it, it's the village mattress, whom I'll call Merida, because everyone's ridden a Merida once in their lives
>She has her brother with her, strapping young lad two years younger than me, let's call him Cuntbert for reasons I'll get back to later
>Merida lays it on thick
>"MISTER POPO HE SAID HE'D PAINT MY GUTS ALL OVER THE PAVEMENT IF I DIDN'T GET OUT HIS WAY HE'S MENTALLY UNSTABLE AND OUGHTN'T OWN GUNS YOU OUGHTTA TAKE'EM FROM HIM HE'S DANGEROUS"
>I tell my part, interrupted by frequent "DASS A LIE"s and "THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN" and "YEAH YOU DID MURDER TRAINING WITH FUCKWALD AT THAT SHOOTING RANGE YOU VIOLENCE-FETISHISING NIGGERHATING MEGAHITLER YOU'RE JUST TRAINING TO SHOOT UP THE NEXT FESTIVAL AINTCHA".
>Just as Mr. Popo is about to give up and say that he can't help us and that it'll need to be taken to court of law, Cuntbert breaks in
>"Actually, I saw it, and it happened as Mr. Anon y Mous said it did"
>Merida flips her shit and starts screeching while stomping out, trying to slam the door on her way out
>She can't because of the door pump
>Mr. Popo wraps up the case and thanks us for being calm and reasonable
>>
>>34768611
>On our way out, I thank Cuntbert for watching my back like that
>"I was just bullshitting, I was at home playing videogames, but my sister is a right cunt, you know"
>"Yeah"
>Realise I just called his sister a cunt, and begin to apologise as he starts laughing and assures me that it's OK
>Out of nowhere, offer to take him with me on a hunting trip next week
>He accepts
>That next week, we meet up
>He gets to shoot his first fox
>I teach him to dress his kills
>Turns out he's a cooking prodigy and makes a feast of whatever we shoot
>I have a pack full of good liquor
>We get to talking on the evenings over many bottles of good drink
>I still remember how I broke down after the sixth day when we had gone through the third bottle of Zacapa XO
>With my voice quivering, I told him how I felt lonely because I had no close friends because I had just moved to the town for a job offer and just swam in money I had no use for and how I missed having someone to trust and confide in and hold in the night and
>He stops me mid-sentence with a real tight hug
>My first reaction is to headbutt him and call him a fuckin faggot, shoot him and use him as fox bait
>Decide not to
>He tells me that I'm the nicest person he's ever met and that I don't deserve to be sad or alone
>I have no idea what made me pick up the courage to do it, but so God help me
>I returned the hug
>Broke it
>And kissed him
>Right on the lips
>He tasted of salty sweat, campfire smoke and that distinct vanilla and caramel taste of Zacapa XO
>His light blonde peach fuzz I had teased him for earlier slid under my lower lip as I playfully bit his lower lip after breaking the kiss
>He gasps lightly and in a very atypical low husky voice says "don't stop, Anon"
>We get up and start stumbling while heading towards my tent
>Getting our clothes off turns out to be a pretty difficult affair because none of us really wanted to break the kiss or the embrace, but we get there eventually
>>
>>34768615
>His body is tanned a smooth light brown colour (learned later that he was a swimmer) and what little body he has is fine and blonde, in contrast with the wild strawberry blonde curly hair mop on his head
>At this point I'm already naked and eagerly pulling off his pants
>From a bush of fine blonde curls, sure enough, he's sporting a... rather unimpressive, but no less eager erection
>I lay him down on the floor and spread his legs out and up and rub my dick against his
>He shudders and whimpers "I want you, Anon"
>Something flips me and I plunge into his ass
>He squeals and shudders as I thrust, and absurdly enough, I remember thinking "Might he be a homosexual, to take such pleasure from this?"
>After a few minutes I feel it coming on, and just as I'm about to pull out, he comes over his lower stomach
>I pull out and it feels like I'm cumming non stop as I shoot my load on what remained uncovered of his stomach and chest
>I fall over next to him and we fall asleep like that
>Next morning, I wake up at 5
>The tent smells of sex, sweat and seven days unwashed men x2
>Wildly disoriented at first, trying to figure out what happened before coming to terms with it
>Of an orderly mind as I am, I begin cleaning up while Cuntbert sleeps
>Find my clothes and put them on
>Find Cuntbert's clothes and begin folding them neatly
>Something falls out of his pants
>It's a
>Taurus
>PT
>92
>From the content and happy state of mind I was in, a blind rage overcomes me
>The kind of seething murderous rage that makes your forehead burn like a hangover
>A small voice in my head is telling me there's a reason for this, so I shake Cuntbert awake
>He wakes easy enough, his large green eyes wide open like a deer in headlights before he takes in the situation
>"Good morning Anon, wha-
>"DON'T YOU FUCKING GOOD MORNING ME YOU FUCKING FAGGOT WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT" I scream at him while waving the gun in his face
>"Holy muzzle discipline, Batman, Anon! It's my CCW, of course!"
>>
>>34768627
>"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOUR CCW YOU DIRTY FUCKIN THIEVING MONKEY"
>"Why are you so upset?"
>"DON'T YOU KNOW SIX MILLION AMERICANS IN THE GUN INDUSTRY ARE UNEMPLOYED BECAUSE OF THIEVING LITTLE SHITS LIKE YOU BUYING FOREIGN JUNK AND TRUSTING YOUR LIVES TO POTMETAL MUCK CHURNED OUT BY DRUNKEN BIG-ASSED JUNGLENIGGERS, TO SAY NOTHING OF HOW IT'S A FUCKIN ANEMIC CALIBER"
>He's drawn his breath and begins screeching, not unlike his sister
>"THERE IS LITERALLY NOTHING WRONG WITH NINE MILLIMETER AND TAURUS IS A PERFECTLY FINE MANUFACTURER RATHER THAN THOSE RETARDS IN THIS COUNTRY WHO ARE PRICING THEMSELF OUT OF THE MARKET"
>Now that he's become uncouth, I thrust my hand forwards and grab a handful of the skin on his chest, twist it and drag him to his feet by it
>"Fucking little faggot with your bullshit jungleguns and tiny faggot caliber GET ON YOUR FEET I'll fuckin show you what for you disgusting little shit"
>Drag him out of camp to a clearing in the woods
>Bash his head against a tree and throw him to the ground
>As he lay there on a bed of red, yellow and brown of fallen leaves, bleeding from scrapes on his feet and his head, he stares at me with eyes alight with hatred and impotent rage
>I try to remain calm, but my hands, shaking with anger, betray me as I draw my all-American 6'' Colt Python and level my sights with his face, so quickly distorted by his unfounded rage
>"I ask you, Cuntbert, for the love I bear you, will you cease with your faggotry and see the light and lay aside your foolish thieving ways and get a real gun that can stop something?"
>"YOU IGNORANT SON OF A WHORE ANON, THE ADVANTAGES OF NINE MILLIMETER CANNOT BE DENIED LIKE ITS EQUIVALENCE TO .45 ACP IN STOPPING POWER AND HIGH CAPAC-
>Not standing to listen to more of his screeching, I put him out of his suffering with a shot to the head and bury him in a shallow grave
>As I stand over the grave, I mutter a brief "no homo" before returning to camp to burn his gear and go back home
>>
>>34768633
Now that's podracing.
>>
If it were not for >>34768661, I would be at a total loss of words. Sputtering unitelligeble tidbits while my mind fails to comprehend what happened in that story.

I have now fully understood the phrase "I can't even".
>>
File: 1404716849507.jpg (35KB, 478x598px) Image search: [Google]
1404716849507.jpg
35KB, 478x598px
yeah regularly, I only hook up with gun owners.

Of course, I'm homo so that makes it different from hooking up with hasguns women, which as far as I can tell, do not exist. you poor straightfags.
>>
File: ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.jpg (68KB, 680x671px) Image search: [Google]
ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.jpg
68KB, 680x671px
>>34768633
MY goodness
>>
>>34766065
>not having carnal knowledge of your firearms
go back to redd.it, faggot.
>>
>>34768633
someone has to start the slow clap
>>
File: Screenshot_2014-04-17-10-46-57.png (219KB, 720x1280px) Image search: [Google]
Screenshot_2014-04-17-10-46-57.png
219KB, 720x1280px
>>34766065
Yep. Here's the story.
>>
>>34766065
>at a 2a rally in Austin, protests for and against guns going on
>some little blonde liberal femboy comes up to me and says the typical "guns are compensating for something" line
>I figure I'll break out my standard counterargument
>get close to him and grab my crotch, telling him "if you really wanted to see it, all you had to do was ask"
>he seems a bit shocked, then bites his lip and says yes
>before I realize it we're back at my place and he's taking my cum down his throat
>wants me to return the favor
>tell him thanks for the succ, but I'm not gay
>he doesn't care and fucks my mouth, then we cuddle afterwards while kissing and groping each others' bodies

and that's how I met my bf and turned into a libertarian instead of a republican. He's a real qt.
>>
>>34768921
Too hot.
>>
>>34766065
Nope, my sword has though.
>Girl drops by
>Chill and talk for a bit
>She sees my swords
>Let her finger fuck them
>Get's this crazy smile on her face
>Next thing I know mein Schwert is in her mouth and she is giving it a mirror polish
>We then fuck for the next 4 hours straight
>>
>>34766065
One time I stuck a mosin boolet up my ass
>>
>>34769101
>then we rest for fifteen minutes and go for another four hours
>Thanks, Geritol.
>>
>>34769302
>>then we rest for fifteen minutes and go for another four hours
Eh, was more like an hour. Had to get some breakfast to refuel.

>Captcha: Italian Guard
HA! The sword is Italian style.
>>
>>34766859
Not really, my mother was fatty and super abusive
>>
File: 1436023701796.jpg (2MB, 3112x2338px) Image search: [Google]
1436023701796.jpg
2MB, 3112x2338px
>>34766065
>take tiny liberal mexican chick to the range
>shoot shotgun in front of her, crank off rounds fast as I can
>she's looking at me hot and bothered
>go home
>fug

another time I had this girl I flirted with online from San francisco tell me she wanted me to fuck her from behind with a gun to her head.... I kick myself still for not buying a plane ticket.

and on the opposite end of the spectrum
>Argentine girl goes with me to the beach
>sit down with her, talking about life and hobbies and stuff
>mention guns to her
>she gets visibly scared and the whole mood of the date changes
>I apologize before she heads home and thought we left amicably
>calls me the next day telling me she never wants to see or hear from me again and that she felt threatened by me.
>lol.k

tl;dr sometimes it helps, other times nope. Much more often the former though.
>>
>>34766146
3 percenters suck dick
>>
>>34766725
>not wanting a family with someone your own age

I hope you are a minority
>>
>>34768385
Nope, just an autistic guitar.
>>
>>34766146
doth thou at minimal operate brethren?
>>
File: 1454507936371.jpg (11KB, 236x330px) Image search: [Google]
1454507936371.jpg
11KB, 236x330px
>>34768121
you're living the American Dream, anon.
>>
>>34769276
>bullet
>not the bolt which is perfectly shaped for prostate massaging
>>
Yeah they all get submissive as soon as there's a gun pointed at their heads.
>>
File: im dying right now.jpg (23KB, 258x245px) Image search: [Google]
im dying right now.jpg
23KB, 258x245px
>>34768633
>>34768627
>>34768615
>>34768611
gold
>>
File: 1490547841700.png (161KB, 328x376px) Image search: [Google]
1490547841700.png
161KB, 328x376px
>>34766895
>>
>>34766065

Funland university reservist club member here. Yes, that's an actual thing with us snow elves.
>regular shooting practice every wednesday
>female friend and some of her friends ask me to come pre-partying next wednesday
>explain the circumstances and how regular practice is more important than pre-party drinking
>convince her to try it out after her friends leave since she didn't really get it
>do it next week, since I am not trying to get into my good friend's pants I am super chill
>girl has a blast, was a decent shot even
>chat about it when her friends suddenly arrive
>am a bit concious about revealing my power level, but universities are not leftist commie-holes around here so continue talking about shooting
>a few are completely uninterested but some show genuine interest
>female friend throws in a good word about me ("Anon's an officer and a gentleman and a really fucking good shot, even got me to hit the target every time.")
>her words, not mine
>the most confident (and attractive) girl of the group asks if I could take her shooting as well
>tell her to show up next week well before the time the range is open for us for safety briefing
>also tell to come with some cash for the ammo and in non-revealing clothes
>wednesday comes, she arrives eagerly a bit early and we go over the protocols
>during range time break physical barries with stance correcting, fixing her eye- and earpro etc.
>is not a very good shot but I can see she's getting a bit worked up and excited from all the activity
>casually explain lead hygiene when leaving
>shower together at my place
>hit it like a .577/450 (soft but heavy with breaks for realoading)
>she rates me 5/5 for her friends
>take them one by one to the range as well
>score with most of them
>everyone pays their ammo, too
>become a small legend with the club members for all the poon they knew I was getting
>university life here is ok, I guess
>>
>>34766065
>go on very first date with a grill
>take her to shooting range
>I have a blast and she is more of a quiet reserved girl
>Find out from her parents later that she is deathly terrified of guns
>I am touched that she went through that for me but ultimately break up with her through text because of other reasons
>>
>>34773788
What do you look like
>>
>>34773874

I'm just a regular guy. It's not about the looks.
Girls flock to confident charisma (talk like you mean what you say, do not spill your spaghetti) and civilized manliness (act like an independent man who knows his grooming standards). Let the girls be the cute ones.
>>
File: 1497476969094.gif (2MB, 230x230px) Image search: [Google]
1497476969094.gif
2MB, 230x230px
>>34768633
Put me in the screencap
>>
>>34767757

Remember to remind S. about the whole thing naggingly every now and then like only a woman can, too.
Always beat them in their own game if it is possible without being petty.
>>
>>34771546
Well fuck you too faggit, she can still bare children
>>
>>34776822
That's the argument I use for 12 year olds.

Have you seen how fucking hot they can be?
>>
File: A Marines Favorite Sport.jpg (88KB, 304x475px) Image search: [Google]
A Marines Favorite Sport.jpg
88KB, 304x475px
>>34767651
I need to do this
>>
>>34766372
>Tfw no glorious Nork conscript gf
>>
File: 1432246899502.jpg (50KB, 364x531px) Image search: [Google]
1432246899502.jpg
50KB, 364x531px
>>34768633
>>
File: 1474816763772.gif (822KB, 600x366px) Image search: [Google]
1474816763772.gif
822KB, 600x366px
>>34766895
>>
>>34766895
Only reason I clicked on this thread
>>
>>34766895
Surprised it took that many posts. I didn't want to have to go looking on google for an image of a smug African with an AK to do it myself.
>>
File: Cuntbert and the Taurus.png (515KB, 1860x2279px) Image search: [Google]
Cuntbert and the Taurus.png
515KB, 1860x2279px
>>34768633
>>
>>34777110
le funny reaction image memememememe
>>
File: Pouty Amphibian.png (326KB, 500x375px) Image search: [Google]
Pouty Amphibian.png
326KB, 500x375px
>>34777120
>>
guns have never gotten me lad. am I missing something? should I take my next date out to a firing rang on BLM land were no one can heard you scream?
>>
>>34768611
>>34768615
>>34768627
>>34768633
This is why I come to /k/. I love you all.
>>
File: fQZOTXW.png (89KB, 632x492px) Image search: [Google]
fQZOTXW.png
89KB, 632x492px
>>34769022
>Austin,

Story checks out.
>>
Got one for you, almost got laid because of guns.

>Be at work, nice black chick gets hired on, about my age ( 34 at the time )
>She cool, laid back, awesome set of tits, we talk on and off during slow points in the day.
>Things go well, after a few weeks we start hanging out after work, lived down the road from the store
>One day, walk her home, as were walking up to her apartment, a wild negro appears.
>Starts walking toward us
>She tells me that's her ex-boyfriend, Tyrone
>MFW his name is actually Tyrone
>Yo, fuck off whitie, I need to talk to my girl
>Gave blank stare
>Tell him , the way I heard it, she not yours and wishes not to speak with you
>Tyrone pulls out a box cutter
>I draw
>Tyrone drops the box cutter
>Yo dawg, don't gotta be like dat
>Dead stare
>Tell him to fuck off and stay gone, I see him again, he's dead
>Keep gun trained on him till he's gone
>She is shaken from the incident, we go inside
>Wait for her to calm down and we start talking
>Never knew you had a gun, Anon
>Tell her, yeah, world is a dangerous place
>She starts to cuddle up
>Listen Anon, you've been so awesome to me since i started, and dealing with Tyrone, well, I like you
>She blushes a little
>Feel like it's kinda like a bad high school romance novel, but, tell her I like her too
>She coddles up more, pressing her tits into my side
>She reaches for my belt, say nothing
>She sucks me off on her couch and swallows
>Not sure what to say afterwards
>She takes off her shirt, massive titties falling out.
>Says she's on her period but I can have fun with those
>Play with her tits, some how mange to rub her off through her pants
>Cuddle up on the couch
>Next day at work ,when things slow down, she starts asking me about guns, how they work and such
>Seems really interested
>Next day she asks me if I can get her one
>Tell her i know of a great LGS I go to
>She asks again if " I can get her one "
>Ask her if she can legally own one
>Says she's on probation for public intox
To be continued
>>
>>34778221
>Thankfully we get a rush, stay busy till the end of the day
>Go home, but her name in the " who's in jail "
>holyshit.jpeg
> Poss. Crack/cocaine, prostitution
>Not the one time she's been charged
>For shits and giggles, I put in Tyrone's name, got it from here at work, wanted to look him up
>Strong arm robbery, concealed weapon with out a permit, Sales of crack/cocaine and solicitation of prostitution
>Tyrone is a pimp and she was one of his girls that broke away
>Call off from work to go get a STD screen, at least got a three day week end
>Come back monday, she's not there
>Told she got arrest on the store floor, hadn't been checking in with her parole officer
>She gets shit canned
>Shit myself while waiting for the results
>Results come back clean
>Finally able to relax
>>
>>34778341
Lol wut
>>
>>34778221
>>34778341
>Niggers
>>
>>34778817
This.
Not even fucking once.
>asks "can I get her one"
Cunt tried to make you into a fucking felon.
>>
File: images (2).jpg (6KB, 212x160px) Image search: [Google]
images (2).jpg
6KB, 212x160px
>>34766065
That harpoon be a little small for whale huntin. Ye won't catch the great white dependa with that anon.
>>
>>34779262
Burn the coal, pay the toll.
>>
File: 1495064340290.jpg (69KB, 498x456px) Image search: [Google]
1495064340290.jpg
69KB, 498x456px
>>34768633
>>
I met a girl through her dad, he works at my local range. I guess that counts. He's not exactly happy with me now, though. I ND'd into her and we ended up with a subcompact and there's an age difference.
>>
>>34781682
Is she 13?
>>
>>34781826
She's 19 now, but this was a couple years back. She was 16 then. Just old enough to not get put in prison for hitting it.
>>
>>34768398
this but 2 years
>go to BLM land
>bring literally every gun i have
>she really likes the nugget and .22 pistol
>takes pictures with the AR
>gets scope eyed with the 1903a3 (kek)
>on the drive back, pull over at a scenic overlook
>we go off behind a rock and commence the jigglin'
>POWERFUL_NUT.exe
>go get sandwiches
>everyone gives me a strange room because i'm with a female that has a black eye
she's still anti, but less so
>>
>>34766372
ITS Democratic People's Republic of Korea you american son of bitch !!! fuck you pig!!
>>
On the real though why does shooting make bitches so horny? I'm not vain enough to catalogue my sexcapades for /k/ but honestly it's kind of uncanny.
>>
>>34782374
Most women are attracted to power and competence. Guns, fast cars, loud music etc are all powerful things that, if handled well, exhibit mastery. It causes girlboners, but only with insecure chicks who hate their dads.
>>
Not even using a gun could get me laid. Heavy sigh, sad face
>>
File: 1501944100252.png (126KB, 235x257px) Image search: [Google]
1501944100252.png
126KB, 235x257px
>>34768373
Yeah, sure anon, that happened.
>>
>>34773925
>it's not about the looks bro
>chicks dig confidence
>>
>>34768398
>>34770147
>>34773788
>>34773872
>taking a girl to the range for easy pussy
For fuck's sakes, you dumb young cunts. I'm probably the same age as you but I'm not nearly as irresponsible.
Before you even allow them to fire a gun, teach them how they work. An hour long lecture, at most. They're basically children and won't understand the weight of holding a gun. And by that I don't mean that shooting a gun or holding one is that big of a deal, especially in a range, but you still need to paint them a picture of what to expect.
>>
>>34783192

For fuck's sake, you dumb young cunt - did you even read the greentexts? The khan mentions reserving plenty of time before going actually shooting and the other, shorter texts leave it in the air, giving nothing but implications.
Get off your high horse before getting ranseur'd down by comments from more observant people than you.

>you might actually need to get laid, god damn chill dude
>>
File: 1496435541750.jpg (23KB, 500x386px) Image search: [Google]
1496435541750.jpg
23KB, 500x386px
>be me
>5 years ago
>dating gf who is now my wife
>her only gun expert was on the farm, shooting a shotgun without earpro which knocked her over and scared the fuck out of her
>she hates guns ever since
>bring my 10/22, Glock 30S and Mauser
>Double her up on earpro with muffs and plugs
>she shoots the .22
>"That's....it?"
>Train her on basics
>move up to the Glock
>she FUCKING loves it
>Realize it's a sound thing for her
>Move her to the Mauser
>"omg lol this gun is like you. It's German and it throws me around, hahaha"
>she likes it but can only handle about 20 shots before she gets sore
>Drive home (this was on my family's ranch)
>talk about it
>get to our house and while walking in, I grab her
>start kissing and feeling her up
>she's super wet, wtf
>Go tuck
>she's extra extra submissive
>we finish after a while
>holding her in that post sex marinade feeling
>"You're such a man, anon"


Didn't get me laid, but it definitely enhances sex for me. My wife always tells me I feel super pent up and I'm always extra horny on the days I go shooting and eat beef jerky, lol
>>
>>34783765

Ignore the auto correct bullshit

Experience**

Go fuck***
>>
>>34766146
>Implying George Washington would use fagpul BUIS and keymod

You have 24 hours to get out of my country.
>>
>>34767757
I've read this exact story before fag
>>
File: 59a.jpg (61KB, 620x388px) Image search: [Google]
59a.jpg
61KB, 620x388px
>>34783765
I'll take "Things that didn't happen" for 500 Alex!
>>
>>34783789

Hahaha, I don't give a shit what you think, I was just sharing a story of how my dick got wet due to guns.

Go tap to the gay story in this thread
>>
File: 1498537019821.jpg (32KB, 700x700px) Image search: [Google]
1498537019821.jpg
32KB, 700x700px
>>34768633
Hi mom I made it into a screencap will you talk to me again?
>>
>>34766292
>>34767651

Dont do this, had this happen to me as a guy can confirm its a bad experience
>>
>>34766065
>no
>>
>>34783532
Only one person stated that they waited until next week, to prove he's a gentleman not seeking the entrance into the lasses' pants.
Noone of them did what I suggested they do, you autistic sperglord.
>>
>>34783774
Or what, you whooperup?
>>
>talking to qt co-worker
>eventually ask her if she want to go to shooting
>"but there are no ranges here anon"
>"we can go to BLM land"
>she seem weirdly uncomfortable with this idea
>ask her why
>"They seem violent, we probably shouldn't go there with guns"
>oh_i_get_this.png
>"yeah you right, I'll have to think of some alternatives"
>report her to HR same day
>get her ass fired
dodged bullet right there lads
>>
File: IMG_4765.gif (917KB, 360x225px) Image search: [Google]
IMG_4765.gif
917KB, 360x225px
>>34766383
>you thought you were fucking a nofunz but it was I /k/!!
Tell her after you nut in her
>>
File: 1349771658148.jpg (277KB, 1024x768px) Image search: [Google]
1349771658148.jpg
277KB, 1024x768px
>>34783932
>the 'girls don't want to have sex' meme
either way, this is how you take noguns to the range
>tell them the 4 rules and explain why they're important
>earpro + eyepro
>start them with a .22 and point out any parts that will reciprocate
>only load one round in magazine
>let them shoot it. if they don't muzzle sweep you after shooting "haha that was fun anon" show them how to load more
>gradually move on to heavier recoilers and pistols
>if they fuck up a rule, gently but firmly correct it
>look out for scope eye and slide thumb
i've taken lots of noguns shooting and most follow the rules after the first 5 minutes. fun targets are balloons and soda cans you shake up beforehand. bring a garbage bag to clean up afterwards and score extra points with hippies. make sure to allow them to pose for pics with the guns, and above all
>DON'T GET TOO POLITICAL
nothing ruins someone's first shooting trip more than "that gol-dang barack HUSSEIN obummer gon' take my guns. alex jones for president MAGA lolololol"
>>
>>34783789
You dont believe that a guy had sex with his wife?
>>
>>34766065
>let them shoot it. if they don't muzzle sweep you after shooting "haha that was fun anon" show them how to load more
This.
I went trap shooting with a girl. Using my O/U, she finally got a clay with the first barrel, and once she realised it she did a celebratory dance that muzzle sweeped everyone in a 360° field around her, twice. I and the oldfags present either ran towards her to stop her, some hit the deck, but everyone screamed in surprise.
>>
>>34784455
>the 'girls don't want to have sex' meme
What
also
>make sure to allow them to pose for pics with guns
Don't fucking do this.
>>
File: 1500489444165s.jpg (2KB, 125x111px) Image search: [Google]
1500489444165s.jpg
2KB, 125x111px
>>34784535
>I and the oldfags present either ran towards her to stop her, some hit the deck, but everyone screamed in surprise.
This has to be a fucking joke
>>
>point gun at a girl and tell her i will shoot unless we fuck
>get laid
>>
>>34784589
No. It's a small open air range with only one manually operated launcher, so everyone were waiting their turn a bit behind the shooter and the launcher operator. Everyone's eyes were on the shooter, so of course people react to getting a loaded gun barrel pointed in their face.
"Hit the deck" is admittedly hyperbole, but people hunched down or tried to get behind some kind of cover.
>>
>>34784535
you should be close enough to prevent it
>>
>>34784586
why shouldn't you let them pose for pics? It costs you nothing, and they get to show all their other noguns friends and tell them what a great time they had. One of the most bleeding heart lib people i ever took shooting took pics with the AR. She showed her other lib friends, who then wanted to try shooting. Some of them changed their mind about guns afterward.
>>
>>34783990
not memeing, thats legally considered rape in some places. bullshit, i know.
>>
>>34784634
Jesus fucking christ that is ridiculous
I am the kind of guy who says shit like "there's nothing cooler than safety" but come the fuck on
>>
>>34766065
>meet army chick on tinder
>total tomboy, short hair and all
>I dig that shit
>be gunsmithing all that week so the various smells of steel, oil, and carbon never leave my skin
>meet for date
>get arm around her
>"damn anon, you smell like guns"
>lol yeah sorry its muh hobby
>"theres nothing sexier than a man who smells like gun oil" or something like this
>hump like rabbits
>>
>>34766364
it's easier to find a cute petite girl and then train her to be into guns. If you've got the kind of income where you can afford the shooting hobby, girls will do A LOT to keep you, and that means taking up your hobbies. Besides, a girl that has the capacity to kill (and doesn't have mental issues - gotta watch out for those) is confident as hell, and that's sexy af
>>
>>34781894
How old are you?
>>
>>34784790
40
>>
>>34784796
Fuckin silverback preying on the weak
>>
>>34768450
Only if you want ED
>>
>>34766065
>Have guns ever gotten you laid?
What are you? Fucking gay?
>>
>>34767638
Tape a salami to your thigh.
>>
>>34769022
Fucking hot
>>
>>34784748
>short haired tomboy

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg want
>>
>>34784783
>"if you spend lots of money on 5them, girls will pretend to like you!"
> somehow twists this to make it seem like a positive

Just how cucked ARE you?
Thread posts: 145
Thread images: 35


[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]

I'm aware that Imgur.com will stop allowing adult images since 15th of May. I'm taking actions to backup as much data as possible.
Read more on this topic here - https://archived.moe/talk/thread/1694/


If you need a post removed click on it's [Report] button and follow the instruction.
DMCA Content Takedown via dmca.com
All images are hosted on imgur.com.
If you like this website please support us by donating with Bitcoins at 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties.
Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site.
This means that RandomArchive shows their content, archived.
If you need information for a Poster - contact them.