What was the first war like?

>>34607620
boring

>me ooga
>team booga

>>34607630
>Aliens
>boring

>>34607620

Bunch of cavemen throwing rocks and sticks at other cavemen over a qt p2t cavegirl

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>>34607641

>>34607620
Go to www.worldstarhiphop.com and look at the fight videos involving more than one individual.

>>34607787
damn

/videos/video.php?v=wshhQatfm4gNMFGlZRsX

>>34607787
Yup spear chuckers gone chuck

>>34607650
>over a qt p2t cavegirl
over a qt body of a deer to eat

also
>p2t
pay to t[ap]?

>>34607620
Up close and personal, but very low-intensity I'd imagine.

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>>34607620

>>34607883
I think that's "patootie" which is slightly less revolting than qt3.14

>>34607620
Like this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BzqwOBneC4

Looks pretty fun desu. Of course, it probably got much more violent if 2 rival hunting parties ran into each other.

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>>34607942
>qt body of a deer
>to eat
This is /k/ son we dont lie about our intentions with our cervidae bretheren

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>>34607641

>>34607650
Actually cave girls would have been getting breed by a bunch of cave boys at once hence the shape of the penis head to allow cave boy to push his semen forward while scraping back other cave boy semen.

>>34607620
The first war happened when Marius fought Sulla.
Marius created the soldier
Before him, there was nothing but farmers with pointy sticks poking at other farmers.

You need soldiers fighting soldiers to have a war

>>34607620
Good question OP. Probably a bunch of primitive men fighting other primitive men for territory, food, females, whatever else they desired.
>>34607893
>up close and personal
>low intensity
Pick one anon, you don't think a bunch of cave men beating eachother to death with whatever they could find would be intense?

>>34610345
really

leaving aside such wars like the siege of troy or ancient egyptian wars etc

what about, say, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_Peloponnesian_War

it was the birth of the actual war history, also of political realism (see melian dialogue) and it was more than 300 years before that roman crap

>>34610397
Organized amateurs are still amateurs.

It's the difference between a musician and a guy who plays his guitar for a hobby. You need to be able to support yourself on it.

>>34607620
Well, Cain killed Abel

>>34610481
that wasn't a war though.
Nearest I can figure might be skirmishes between early Homo Sapiens and other hominids.

>>34610660
Probably this. Sapien genocide of Neanderthalensis

>>34611387
most likely didn't look much like a war

btw those species could crossbreed and we still have some neandertalean genes from some qt3.14 neandertalian ladies married by abduction by our ancestors

also note that those humans who remained in africa lack neanderthalean dna so it's our european sign of superiority

>>34610481
>posts fairytales
tips fedora

>>34607836
no lie I do imagine that's what it probaby looked like. A bunch of africans clumsily beating the shit out of each other.

>>34611479
(you)

>>34607917
underrated post LOL

>>34611387
What >>34611425 said. Besides maybe a few ambushes and killings, it's more likely that we just out-fucked neanderthals into extinction. That's both more sapiens being bred from sapiens, and stealing a buncha neanderthal girls and taking them out of their gene pool and into ours.

>>34611425
>>34612009
Of course it was outbreeding, but I'm sure there were some well fought battles in there somewhere.

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>>34607620

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtbOmpTnyOc

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>>34607620
Pic related only with early humans instead of chimpanzees.

>>34612270
chimps enlist females?

>>34607620
Probably two large clans fighting over hunting grounds, just imagine two large families of inbreds brawling over a camping spot.

>>34607620
It was so good it reset the entire world.
I still have PTSD from the Finno-Korean Hyperwar.

>>34607620
One tribe of monkeys beating the shit out of other monkeys.

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>>34607620
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wstIBq2H0z8

>>34612335
>Finno-Korean Hyperwar.

That crap is the most un-funny shit ever.

>>34612929
I bet you're popular at parties

>>34607630
>Boring
Are you fucking kidding me? Ancient and medieval combat is more interesting than modern combat

>>34607893
>Very low intensity
Yes because beating someone's head in with a rock and stabbing people with spears, staring into their eyes is just such low-stress compared to squeezing a trigger a few hundred meters away and just calling in airstrikes.

>>34610360
Marius created the legionaire not the "soldier".

>>34613167
Was meant for>>34610345

>>34607620

Interesting question. The first wars we have some shitty sources about are of course from Mesopotamia, about 6000-5700 years ago. Maybe we can consider them proper "wars" as they were fought by organized kingdoms.

Archeology helps us with previous warfare: most data we have is again from Mesopotamia or from the Near East, and the oldest crap we've found are sling bullets. I don't remember the place, but we did find insane amounts of sling bullets in some sites about 7000 years old, and the first cities already had 9000 years ago extensive fortifications. The most memeworthy site is however Site 117, in Sudan, where we got the burial of around 60 people, half killed by spears and arrows. 14k to 16k years ago.

We've been doing this shit for a loong time.

>>34607641
This. Humanity didn't know what war was before the "gods" had a squabble. If you ever read the Vedas and Summerian scripts, war was basically primitive infantry fighting enemy infantry while they dogfight UFOs and nuke cities

>>34607620
small.