Police academy stuff

*weed
*department

Oh and does pretty much everyone do the polygraph during the hiring process? I live in bumfuck no where and all the towns id apply at consist of 500-1500 people tops, should they be more relaxed?

>>34568940
might as well ask again, where does a guy get his guard card? theres lots of places online and i have to idea which are legit, im in cali and it seems like there's multiple companies hiring thanks.

>>34568940
>if i turn it in being completely honest am i fucked when i apply at a deptartment
Depends on the department, some require no weed use within the last year, some can go back as far as 5.
>But ive recently sold some....it was zanax, and it was recent like last month
Honestly, that will almost certainly fuck you. You could try to lie but almost every department does some kind of polygraph or CVSA screening during the hiring process.

>>34569257
So do i be completely honest and just keep trying to get hired somewhere? Or do i lie and only apply places that wont poly? It was a dumb mistake and im dun fucked up but i really want this job, i cant see myself anywhere else. I really rather not lie but if its gonna be impossible otherwise why even to go academy.

>>34569339
Maybe i should just join the military, after a few tears of keeping clean would they be more likely to over look my degeneracy? Or am i just finished at this point?

>>34569357
>after a few tears of keeping clean would they be more likely to over look my degeneracy

That's how it works you mong. The fact that you sold benzos last month will kill your chances right now. Keep your nose clean and make sure your degeneracy is at least four years behind you.

>>34569339

you dumb fuck, answer no on everything.

Its highly unlikely they will fail you on the poly if you get that far. They hype that shit up and its pure pyschological bs.

say your a golden boy on app, say your golden boy on poly.

You will fail part of poly, they will try to get you to give in. "anon just tell us this isnt a big deal and the nwe can go on to the next stage' "anon if you tell me I can help you just tell me"

never tell them, keep denying

eventually they will bully you

"fuck u anon u wasted our time etc etc"

a few weeks later you will get an acceptance letter.

never ever let them catch you lying. deny deny deny

>>34569419
I thought the whole point was to be honest? If i fail part of my application why would they hire me?

>>34569481
*polygraph not app

>>34569418
Thats probably the route ill have to go

If i fail a poly somewhere and they dont hire me, will they forward that info to any dept. I apply at?

>>34569481
Anon just do what I'm doing. Join the army and be 31b and blue Falcon it up with me.

>>34569496
Lol polygraph aren't real. Honestly you seem to naive and dumb to make a good cop. Don't admit to shit. Flex your butthole on the poly. Shit most departments don't even use them anymore, what department are you applying to?

>>34568940
be honest on the PHS and on the poly. lying during any stage will get you DQd.

>>34569357
>Or am i just finished at this point?
For a good many departments, yes. Up to you if you want to lie and try to power through the polygraph but you better hope it doesn't pop up during your background.

>>34569531
you're retarded.

>>34569531
>most deptartments dont even use them anymore

False

Op is fucked

>>34569481
being honest is for suckers
they know you've done some shit (everyone does) but only the idiots actually say they have

if no one can corroborate it then it didn't happen

>>34569594
Lol uh huh. Polygraph are 100% real you are right. That's exactly why they are inadmissible in court and why the fbi stopped using them in favor of voice stress analysis. I totally don't know what I am talking about.

>>34569584
I really dont want to lie, i wish it were just an honesty test in which case ill would happily tell them everything, but i dun fucked up big time and now its either army or lie. Or tell the truth and hope for the best...lieing is the easiest and shittiest, the truth will fuck me, and with the army...well would i have to go to academy again after i get out? How long am i certified after acad?

>>34569625
>flex your butt
you really do not know what you're talking about

>>34569634
>i wish it were just an honesty test in which case ill would happily tell them everything
thats literally what the personal history packet is.

>>34569636
Yep. Totally never taken a polygraph in my life. Never ever

>>34569634
Don't know about Texas but in [spoiler]CA[/spoiler] a POST certification lasts about 3 years before you have to attend academy again. So if you do decide to go Army then you might as well not bother with academy. Again, it's going to vary by department but for most of them selling drugs (Xanax might be a 'lesser' drug but it's still a schedule IV controlled substance) is an automatic DQ regardless of how long it's been. Might as well call and ask though.

>>34569686
>call and ask
Oh god

>Tfw powerlifted for over a decade, can control my adrenal glands and blood pressure
>Figure if I release some adrenaline on the control questions it would set my vitals high to even it out for the ones I lied on
>First round of questions, everything goes good, I stay very relaxed and only release on control questions
>By the 5th round of questions I'm getting antsy
>Releasing way too much adrenaline and my blood pressure is so high my veins are popping
>The guy asks me what my name is, what city were in, etc and I'd answer then my vitals would shoot way the fuck up
>He's just sitting there looking at the screen with his mouth open, then looking back at me like wtf
>Finish 10 rounds of questions
>"Ok... we're done. You'll get the results in the mail... In the meantime, you should get your blood pressure checked out"
>Tell him I was just nervous
>Know for a fact the test was either a fail or inconclusive
>Tfw hired anyway
>Tfw my city was so desperate for cops they used a loophole in the POST certification process
>It says you have to TAKE a polygraph, not PASS one
>Tfw they'll never know about all those kids I raped and murdered

>>34569481
Anon, if you come up for buying/selling drugs just admit to buying some Advil. Act like a nice, upstanding, and mildly clueless sort of person just trying to do the right thing.

You would not believe the shit I got through customs in JFK just by declaring food and explaining that I'd picked up chocolate bars for my family as souvenirs. Granted, I had the benefit of being on the same plane as Flava Flav, but still.

>>34570000
They dont hook you up to a lie detector when you go through customs

>>34569634
Appear nervous and good-natured, if it can't be corroborated it didn't happen. Be too honest about everything except what will fuck you. Clean up anything on social media the less to investigate the better. Get your references sorted out or find people who will be a reference. DO NOT coach them but give them a heads up teachers work well for this.

The ideal statement should be something along the lines of "he was a good kid he got okay grades but I don't remember about him he never caused trouble."

Don't be friends with the degenerates it's not hard I'll leave that to your discretion how you choose to fulfill that.

>>34571871
Polygraphs are not lie-detectors they're a glorified vitals monitor.

>>34571871
No, they skip straight to searching your bags if they think they have a reason. Believe it or not, that's a slightly more difficult hurdle than a polygraph.

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>>34568940
hey anons Im clean dont smoke, dont drink no criminal but Im colorblind af. I got in the military but i guess le is harder on the eyes. how fucked am i.