/k/ humor greentext thread harvest as many keks as possible

Sometimes I wish /k/ wasn't full of longwinded story tellers.

>>34553803
requesting the man who became the armadillo he killed.

>>34554048
Are you sure you don't mean "Got leprosy from eating uncooked armadillo x years prior"?

File: Tom the Warlord.jpg (657KB, 1446x1437px) Image search: [Google]

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>>34554167

>>34553915

How have I never read this? This is fucking golden

>>34554197
I wish i knew more of the context around this

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>be 15 yo me
>Walking on the beach with my mom and dad
>Notice a rotting mass on the sand
>It's the back half of a whale
>Head-spinning foul stench
>Dad: ''looks like there is still a vertebra in there, it would be nice if we could retrieve it
>Ohshit.jpg
>Still had ptsd from the pilot whale vertebra he retrieved a few year back and boiled in the cooker
>Yo may not have any idea what a whaler boat smelled like, but believe me I do
>"S-s-sure dad"
>Go back with a plastic bag, a kitchen knife, and my brother's ka-bar
>Dad is a doctor, he knows his way around fleshy stuff,takes me through what we are actually cutting
>Dear lord the smell
One hour after, the vertebra is free
>Turned out it was way heavier than anticipated, the plastic bag won't do
> Nvm, my new-ish coat will do the job perfectly
>The smell in the car was unbearable
>Way too big for the cooker, we decide to put the whole thing on top of an anthill in the hope that ants will eat thr intervertebral disks away
>The anthill was near where my mother hanged the clothes to dry
>We kind of forget it for several years, and Everytime we came taking the clothes away, we were welcomed by a foul stench I'll never forget
>A few years later, my dad and I are in paris visiting the museum d'histoire naturelle
>We enter a Big room, beneath the full skeleton of a blue whale
>Notice a familiar smell
>My father notices it too
>Our faces when

>>34555980
That's a wonderful story, anon.
It isn't /k/-related, though.

>>34555719
Its from a government wargame from what I gather. Helps different members of government/military prepare for a potential crisis scenario.

I participated in a much less complex one for a class.

>>34556222
>>34554197
Something like the Circle Trigonists/Aggressors?
http://www.alternatewars.com/WW3/Trigons/Trigons.htm

>>34556222
sounds like it is preparing our officers to "quell" any "warlords" that would threaten our glorious federal government.