Anyone know what this is /k/? Found it in cleaning out my great

>>34515700
Ah, I haven't seen one of those in a long time!

It's an old, 1950s vintage onahole! Wow, I bet your grandpa had tons of "fun" with that!

Basically, Remington decided to try and create products to fill a man's time during the slow parts of hunting. Basically, when you're doing nothing and sitting around for a deer or whatever to show up. So, they partnered with DOW chemical to create a very soft, pliable polymer and stuffed it into a hard plastic shell and sold it to hunters as a "male relaxation device". It's disguised in a cool gunmetal grey case so the wife wouldn't know what it was, and hunters of all ages can "got to town" while in their tree stand or after a long day hiking. The best part is the wide variety of lubricants you can use. Besides spit and water, you can also use the urine you brought to lure your prey with. In modern onaholes, this degrades the soft silicone, but this is a special model which is very resistant to other chemicals. Just tie it to a branch and soak it in a pond or stream and it's all clean! You can even use the leftover "male essence" to attract fish for dinner (this was a popular selling point to the product).

What a piece of history you've found man! Take it for a spin, just like your dad and his dad and maybe even his dad did on those long, lonely nights and days out innawoods!

>>34515767
That's a lot of effort for a shitpost

>>34515782
this
also bumping for interest

>>34515782

I'm actually impressed

might be an arrow puller if it splits open

>>34515767
k seriously makes me cringe more than anything else on the internet, god damn man

>>34515767
>trying this fucking hard
wouldn't surprise me if op wrote it to reply to himself

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>>34515767
Wow. Well done.

>>34515767
Make "got to town" a /k/ meme

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I believe that's an electric razor for shaving your face with. Either the old Remington has been making shaving products or there's another company named Remington that makes shaving products. I've seen those Remington-brand electric razors on the clearance aisle in Walmart.

Pic slightly related, but OP's pic looks like one of those all-in-one kits.

>>34515767
/thread

>>34515700
>>34515767
>doesn't know a Remington finger box when he sees one

>>34515700
I think is scope

Try to twist/pull/gnaw the endcaps off

>>34515700
I don't know what that is, but I have an old Remington brand Typewriter that I got from my Great-Grandma's house after she passed. It's pretty cool

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>>34516060
Pic

>>34515700

Pretty sure it's a monocular. An older one.

Either that or a giant hair roller.

>>34515767

okay is this guy joking or not

like seriously

>>34515968
wrong board

>>34516274
>Pretty sure it's a monocular.

For a one-eyed snake, right?

>>34515767
Im giving you a 10/10. You are probably within my narrow age band and appreciate a well written, somewhat rambling and insane shitpost.
CO-Co-co-COMBOOOOBREAKER

>>34516667
fuck. my sides. the shit post endures.

>>34515700
It's a plastic mace

>>34516060
Remington rand isn't Remington. Remington rand made 1911's during ww2 that are pretty rare and value nowadays, just like singer made ones