$1 knife torture test

>>34459892

throw it in a bucket of salt water

stab yourself in the hand then see how long it takes to rust

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Try splitting a log with it.

>>34459892
>Carve a try Stick
>Stab an old tire a few times
>Baton through a 1.5" stick
In that order

Throw it in mud and see if it still shoots.

>>34459892
OP, seriously, this is what you need to do to actually evaluate the knife. >>34459910

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OP here,

I'll take 5(ish) random suggestions, and do them in order of intensity.

Will post pics.

I know that I have baby hands.

>>34459947
Carve.
A.
Mother.
Fucking.
Try.
Stick.

>>34459947
Are you underaged, a trap, a wombat, or do you just shave your fingers?

Good idea for a thread.

Slice a tuna.

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Torture test for knives are retarded. What is the most stress a knife will endure during normal use ? They are not axes.

What is worth testing are temper and edge retention.

>>34459992
See >>34459910
That's all the torture a new pocket knife needs for testing.

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>>34459900
>>34459910
>>34459931
>>34459959
Batoning and the try stick have made the list. I haven't attempted one since the Boy Scouts, so it's gonna be shit. I'll take suggestions until about 6pm U.S. Mountain Time tomorrow. Pic unrelated, it's a road near my town.

>>34459967
I've played bass and gone /out/ for years, and never got any calluses or anything. They just won't get tough.

>>34459967
Other people shave their fingers? I thought it was just me.

>>34460060
I wash my hands with Nair

>>34459892
Are you telling me that knife comes in a bubble/card wrap? That packaging must be .30 cents

>>34459892
>Harbor Freight bullshit

Just try to use it for an actual job, should break almost immediately.

>>34460640
I think that's the dollar tree brand of knife.
I have a few of those as cheap throwaway knives. They can keep an ok edge but the blade is too thin and break easily

>>34459892
Insert into anus, post results

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>tl;dr how do I be wasteful faggot
Just don't buy one in the 1st place, you wasteful faggot!

>>34459947
cut a tomato
cut a piece of paper
swing cut a piece of rope
if you really want to torture it use it as a screwdriver then try to pry something with it.

>>34462442
i use these for that, haven't had to throw any away yet.
https://www.walmart.com/ip/Ozark-Trail-Flip-Opening-Knife-Tan/46543619

>>34459900
My $300 custom folding knife cant even split a log without breaking what makes you think some pos dollar store knife can?

>>34459892
>run it through the dishwasher
>blend it
>use it to hammer nails into a piece of wood
>throw it at a wall
>insert into your pooper
>drop it from a helicopter
>dig a hole with it
>pee pee on it and see how long it takes for damage to incur

>>34459892
Remember safety shit, googles and gloves so the damn thing doesn't shatter and you get a piece pf metal lodged in you eye or cut off your thumb.

Cut some simple shit first
>paper
>vegetables
>carve up a stick
>cardboard

Then do some heavy shit
>splitting wood(small pieces)
>carve some notches in a some sturdy shit like a solid piece of wood
>stab and cut some folded cardboard(3-4 layers)
>the plastic shit it came in

More simple shit, compare it to the earlier shit and see how much of a difference there is.

Assuming it hasn't fallen apart yet.

>>34459892
>closest thing I can have to a weapon on me or in my apartment
Dont be a nigger, get a Shillelagh.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shillelagh_(club)
Anybody gives you shit, say you leg got fucked up a few years ago and every now and then you have a bad day.
>Shillelaghs may be hollowed at the heavy "hitting" end and filled with molten lead to increase the weight beyond the typical two pounds; this sort of shillelagh is known as a 'loaded stick'.

>>34462612
> $300 knife not being able to do what a $19 kbar can.
How does it feel to be stupid with money? Does it feel gay?

Stab something hard like a wood block and twist/tilt the knife to see if the tip breaks or deforms or the knife has a catastrophic failure within 10 good hard stabs.

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>>34459914

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Not OP, but a guy who likes to post on knife threads.

Anyhow the knife needs to be sharpened once opened. It does have some play but cuts well once sharp. The handle is indeed plastic, twisting/tilt would not be suggested in hard wood. I may try splitting some wood myself with mine, but I wouldnt without safety glasses.

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Alright boys, I'm off work and ready to break shit. I've decided that it would be appropriate to buy all the stuff I'm cutting at the dollar store. I'll take pics in a few. I'll buy a fresh knife, since I've been using this one for a few days now. End test will probably me shooting it with birdshot. Let's roll.

>>34464328
try not to stab yourself.

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>>34464481
Duly noted.

I'll be back in a few

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In addition to mutilating the contents of this basket (except for my Mtn. Dew and snickers) I will carve with the knife, baton with the knife, run over the knife, and shoot at the knife.

Please, discuss.

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>>34464909
$1 ribeye steak

>>34464909
Thick plastic cup/plate
Metal pie plates

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Yours truly

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And my lovely ass. manager. We shall now get started.

I have the same knife nigga, that shit ain't gonna last 2 minutes

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>>34459892
I've got one of those knives too, I doubt it'll last through half of your tests. The first time I tried to use mine it cut through half a frozen sausage and broke in half.

>>34459892
Cum test

Like a mud test, but dip it in cum, leave it in the cum over night, and see if it cuts anything with dry cum on it.

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The tests are done. I will post results. Here's the coke glass. We expected it to break easily.

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Here's the rockstar. We also soaked the blade in it once we cut it open.

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The knives condition post-energy drink.

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It had no objections.

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The event you've all been waiting for.

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>>34464570
>>34459892
This is now a dollar tree operator thread, what is the most operator thing you can make with shit from dollar tree?

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Boom jams. It can baton wood.

>>34466144
Are you gonna see how easily it'll skin the cat after all the abuse?

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Napoleon Dynamite anyone?

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>>34466165
No.

Here's the knife (it survived the atv trip alright) from... about 25 yards? You can take a guess. It's in that blue thing in the back.

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Here it is after 12ga. general purpose birdshot. The mechanism popped back into place. This pos is based and immortal.

>>34464570
There's one of these stores about 15 miles from my Upstate property. Also, a "Dollar General" and a "Family Dollar." I have never been in ay of them. I usually go to the Hannaford for grocery shopping but if I plane to get more I will go to a Walmart to do all the shopping. If there's a Walmart, why the fuck would anyone got to these little stores?

>>34466233
Great, but can it survive the cum test?

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After the third shot, and a 22lr. shell. Goodnight sweet prince.

>>34466233
Did you try the prison "keister" test?

>No redhot knife test
OP you even fucking trying?

>>34466237
Wal-Mart has a much worse grocery selection than Hannaford, anon. Especially when it comes to meats. Wal-Mart does not have my breakfast sausage

t. fellow upstate anon

>>34466146
>biggest kitchen knife in the dollar tree
>longest broom or mop in the dollar tree
>Shitty tiny roll of duct tape
>Shitty spear for $3. Make extras as it will break immediately upon impact

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>>34462850
>spends $100,000 on a brand new TEM
>wow your TEM cant do what a $19 kbar can r u gey?

>>34466381
This. I buy everything at Walmart anyway cause I'm a poorfag, but Hannaford has better meat and produce. Basically, if it's fresh get it at Hannaford, otherwise Walmart.

Shaw's a shit.

>>34466237
They sell a lot of silly things. A lot of surprisingly useful things like the knife in the thread. It's actually a pretty fun stop.

>>34466237
go to fucking real deals if you live upstate, hands down best dollar store.

>>34460064
i Naired my ballsack before

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Alright nigs I think I'll edc the dollar store knife. I was really fucking impressed that it survived batoning, and then survived getting shot at (at least the first time).

Goodnight bois.

Pic related is where I derived my tripfag name.

>>34466146
They sell household chemicals right? I'm sure you can concoct some interesting things with that.

>>34468345
nobody is poorfag enough to need to EDC that piece of shit OP

Buy a ka bar dozier for like 10 bucks.

>>34466511
>broom
>Knoife
>Make pointy stick
A third cheaper for the same effect