Funny weapon stories

I'll start:
So I was doing some cleaning on my grandpa's old rifle and I walk up stairs with an empty clip in my hand and my mom sees it and screams "GUN!" And proceeds to hyperventilate and pass out. She was alright, but I actually couldn't stop myself from cracking up even when she was screaming.

Am I a terrible human /k/?

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>>34388098

>>34388098
Sounds like your mom and grandpa should've had abortions.
>It is never too late

>>34388098
Your mother should have swallowed.

>>34388098
I really can't tell if this is satire or not

One time when I was hunting in Texas I accidentally shot Harry Whittington in the face.

>>34388033
let me get them typed up

>>34390529
You too!? One time I was in a theatre and I accidentally Lincoln.

Am I a terrible human guys?

Lmao

But not satire, that's my story is troo

Lmao

But its not satire, my mom is fucking crazy, she also has some kinda of mental disorder called far left liberalism.

>>34391227
>>34391253
Sooo, you are drunk and still need an abortion?

Exteremely

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>>34388033
Might not be funny to you fellas, but it still is to me

>has sks sitting in closet for 4 years
>decide to shoot it
>watch youtube videos so I don't look like a total green horn
>learn that I need to clean it
>Start to take apart the gas tube
>Didn't remember that the spring is under pressure
>the piston smacks me right in the head and leaves a red indent like a Indian with that red dot??
inb4: shit green text was shit

>>34393284
>Might not be funny to you fellas
No, that is pretty funny.

>>34388098
>empty clip
If your mom just screams at the sight of a strip of metal then you should probably get her some help.

>>34393284
so what did you do whit your shitskin cosplay ?

>>34393284
Pretty sure everone with an sks has done that or something like that at least once.

Anyway mine.

>be 2012
>putting together babby's first ar
>don't have all the tools necessary, in retrospect I was like a monkey trying to fuck a coconut.
>putting in the fire select detent, or maybe it was the bolt catch.. It's been a while, but i TV was one of the tiny ones with a small as fuck detent pin.
>lose direct pressure on it as I try to slip a piece on
>spring and detent fly past my face
> hear a tiny 'ping' behind me as the detent richochettes off into the wall and behind a 500 pound entertainment system (tv+overbuilt oak paneling and built in stereo).
>fuck, it's lost forever, check anway and the spting/detent are nowhere to bee seen/easily accessible.
>have to buy a new spring+detent
>day after I oder them, find the spring and detent sitting on my work table next to my lower taped down with scotch tape.

Honestly not sure what happend there. Place wasn't haunted as far as I know.

>>34395877
Fuck those detents though for real.

I guess I have one, told it here before but it's been a while.

>School of Infantry, ITB 2008
>Come back from the field
>Everyone clean your weapons
>Sitting on my pack, start to clean weapon
>Guy sitting right next to me has m249 SAW
>His m249 is empty, but he has the bolt racked back
>He removes the buttstock and the tension releases
>Bolt flies into his face busting a tooth and causing him to bleed everywhere like he got kicked by a mule

So he got a nice visit to medical and think he got dropped to a different training company. That's why you don't disassemble open bolt weapons when they're cocked and ready to rock.

>>34388098
no just a /k/ommando

>>34388033

I was shooting a friend's ar and they handed me this crappy, polymer mag that wouldn't seat in the gun properly but seemed like it did. Made me look like an idiot

Heres a good one
>finished cleaning my late gramps sears&roebuck.co bolt action shotgun
>take it and a 22 to the range for a day with a few other has funs friends
>the range has a slugs only rule
>At the time i only had 10 waxer slugs ,also gramps
>I take the first shot
>BUURM, CLANG,pling===wut
I put the gun down and searched for what happened ,the magazine had fallen out of the well the follower had popped out the shells and one shell had landed in the cuff of my pants leg while the other bounced off the wall and landed nose first on the nose of another waxer slug on the shooting table.

>be 13
>shooting handguns at a farm
>dump a mag into a wooden target with a usp
>hit 100% of my shots
>get really excited and turn around real quick with the gun in my hand and accidentally aim it at my dad
>get called retarded cause no trigger discipline
>that's when I learned to keep my booger hook of the bang switch until I was ready to bring the hate.

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>>34396375
>at the range
>sighting in my levergat from a rest
>last shot
>open it, the casing flies up in an arc and lands as seen in pic related