Bedtime story

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>>34383451

I got one, no brrrt but a little destruction:

>be 21 working innagunshop
>middle of summer doldrums, two customers and both are regulars just out to BS cause nothing better for a crusty old retired military guy to be doing on a Wednesday afternoon
>all busy work is done, were literally just sitting around staring at each other listenting to the regulars same old war stories we've heard a thousand times.
>decide to go out to range and do some shooting since there's nothing else to do.
>fuck it lets set up some tannerite
>double fuck it lets make a propane cylinder fly
>set up target at the 100 yard burm
>shoot it, tannerite explodes, but propane cylinder just flops over
>jokingly bitch out the guy that set the target up
>he gets perturbed
>has us shake up two lbs
>has me to get a shovel and help him
>as were walking to the target he's mumbling to himself: "they wanna see it fly, ill make it fly"
>digs a v into the berm and puts the tannerite in it then sets the cylinder on top
>exposes just enough of the tannerite for us to shoot
>the fucking guy made a goddamn shaped charge
>go back and see other customers have shown up, got a decent audience now
>start shooting, racing with co worker to see who hits it first
>I make the lucky shot, dust fills my optic, propane cylinder rockets into the sky
>up up and away
>fuckers just a speck before we notice the wind happens to be blowing towards us
>cylinder reaches its apex then starts falling back to earth
>and towards the shop
>I start screaming at the customers to get under the stone balcony of the house the shop is connected to
>hear a horrible crash
>it hit the roof
>there were people inside
>me on the right
>afraid to look, i might have just killed someone
>fuck it gotta face that shit

Cont...

>>34383773
PLEASE!!!!!!!

>>34383773
>turn to see the propane cylinder sticking out of the roof it hit a support beam and didn't go through
>did knock a light over and freak out a conspiracy theorist regular
>said regular, who also happens to weigh 450lbs, was convinced the black helicopters were coming for him and attempted to dive over the counter
>he winds up getting stuck on the counter on his gut like a fucking turtle. Flailing his arms and legs and screaming for the owner to save him.
>owner dgaf and is marching out the door, looking for blood.
>comes storming out screaming like a maniac, eyes bugged out, veins popping the whole bit.
>rants and raves for a good 20 minutes before putting us all to work sorting through the milsurp we were gonna make his kids do
>a week of nothing but knee pads, elbow pads and helmet padding
>worth it

That's my story. I'm not the best storyteller but I hope it cheered you up a little bit /k/omrade.

>>34383451
>wanton destruction
Okay.
Once I destroyed fifty pounds of brass out of spite.

I got a gud one for you OP

>be me
>little shit of 13
>love guns and can be kind of a faggot about them
>I want a gun more than anything but obviously can't buy them yet
>learn about zip guns
>never even occurred to me that building a gun is possible
>team up with neighbor friend the same age, well call him Q
>Q and I steel a box of 12 gauge slugs from my dad who was hasgunz
>cut into them and collet the powder
>we nigger rig what was basically a small canon out of copper pipe, duct tape, and wood
>fail consistently to build a functioning gun
>most just fizzle and do nothing, which was probably a good thing because what we made was one bore obstruction away from being a pipe bomb
>one day Q and I are shooting pellet guns and lighting up our "muzzle loader"
>I get the genius idea of hammering the primers on the empty hulls we had collected
>place the shell in a pipe mounted in a vice
>the first smack with a hammer and nail and there's a loud pop
>a bit too loud
>after the EEEEEEEEEEE we realize that we had only taken the slug out of that one
>pipe is fucking hamburger meat
>my hands are covered in powder burns
>about 2 minutes after I did this I notice my leg feels hot
>look down and see there's a hole in my pants
>A piece of the pipe launched into my left leg and didn't even notice it
>have this fugly scar ever since

>>34383999
Damn I got trips.
I have more idiotic stories of my home gunsmithing if you're willing to hear me. But if there's no interest I don't want to dedicate the time to typing them

>>34383999
Lets hear em

>>34384033
Please do

>>34384072
Gotcha
>>34384111
Man trips means I'm obligated

Okay fellas I'll get to it

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>>34383451
I can post this.

>>34384117

>be me
>I've progressed beyond my copper pipe escapades
>a couple years older too, less of a faggot but still no guns
>learn the difference between black powder and smokeless, super thankful I didn't blow my hand off
>"Heyyy wait a minute, black powder is only 3 ingredients"
>finna make that muzzleloader now
>buy a piece of steel pipe
>tap threads into the pipe and screw a large bolt into it
>shit I think I did it
>drill a small touch hole into the base and load up a few grains of my homemade powder
>here it goes
>nothing
>apparently my powder was shit
>re try it
>the pipe goes off with a loud but successful bang
>"I FUCKING DID IT"
>load up BBs now I have a mini shotgun
>I shoot stuff with it all day it's great
>one day I decide to try rapid reloads
>fire it off
>begin loading I start by pouring the powder
>FWOOOOSH
>AHHHHHHHHHHH
>there was a spark or ember hiding out somewhere and I had a few grains of BP flare up on my thumb
>fucking finger is pitch black and fucked up for weeks
>I was so scared the burns were 3rd degree but my thumb skin just came off in a husk like some fucked up crust

>>34383451
Sure, i'll you about my day:
Found out my mother has terminal cancer and is expected to die in 2-3 months.
Dog was diagnosed with a form of cancer last week and hes also probably going to be put down as soon as he shows signs of it(expected in 2 or 3 weeks)
My birthday is in 3 weeks, btw, so i'll probably be spending it nursing my dog on his deathbed, and arranging to have my mother put in palliative care.

This probably isnt as entertaining as the other peoples posts, but hey, atleast you know your day could have been worse!

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That's that. hope it cheered you a bit.

Does anyone have the greentext about the crow that became paste?

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>>34384251
a crow that became paste?

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>>34384251
I do have a flock of geese becoming paste tho
(and by the file name, yes i was a part of the thread where this image came from, i think it was a hunting story thread, something like that)

>>34384260
Some anon made a potato gun and used it to fire a slug made of gravel at a crow that had been harassing him. It... Was more lethal than intended.

>>34384287
>poaching with an IED
Innumerable layers of kek.

>>34383773
>>34383910
>cool story, bro