Youre inna woods and your knife breaks. What do?

>>34376048
This idiot is married.
There is somewhere a woman who married him and calls him hun.
Wtf

I know people break knives all the time by trying to split wood with them but why would you use a knife when you're beating on it with A FUCKING HATCHET

>>34376048
>has axe
>tries to baton using metal on metal
Not his proudest moment I guess

>>34376058
>But Mom!
Which is only slightly worse.

Pretty sure this is parody anyway.

>>34376071
Oh god, it cant be parody. It is not even funny.

>>34376048
>using knife to split wood
>while having an axe

>>34376082
The subtitles are a joke, the video isn't, lemme see if I can find the OG

>>34376084
le torture test meme. They're all the rage on youtube.

>>34376048
>have axe
>use knife to split wood

hue

>>34376048
First would use the axe in my hand to split wood
Second would pull out knife #2

>>34376048
Unsheathe second knife.

>>34376048
>batoning with metal on metal
>batoning with such a small knife
>batoning with a partially serrated knife (lol what is a stress concentration?? durr hurr)
>batoning with a Gerber Bear Grylls knife (muh name recognition)
So much wrong with this. I agree with other anons, if it broke, I'd just use the fucking hatchet.

>>34376048
He's using that Gerber bear grills shit. This shit isn't even good.

>>34376048
Figure out what reality construct I'm in because I'm using a shitty walmart Bear Grylls knife

>>34376808
>Made in Pakistan

Kek

>>34376048
call the manufacturer and send it back

>>34376048
>Knife break
>Now two knife
I win Everytime m80

>>34376048

If I'm that guy, then I'm fine. I still have a hatchet. And according to the book Hatchet, I'd survive just fine.

stab myself with the broken end because I'm a fucking retard

shoot it with your gun so the metal hears up and you can weld it back together

>>34377485
Do you recommend hatchet?

>>34376048
>Hmmm, lets see, I have this tool specifically designed to split wood and this knife that is meant for more delicate work like skinning game, which should I use to chop this wood?
>Of course, the knife, it's so obvious!

>>34378213
different guy, it's a decent book, kinda like jason's gold.

>>34376048
Batoning is stupid and this is why.

>>34377485
>I'd survive just fine.
Aside from getting tornadoed. Or Porcupined.

>>34378213
It's a good story.

>>34376048
>Batoning wood
>While I have a hatchet at hand
Probably attempt to start a fire by pissing on the wood, because apparently I'm an idiot.

>>34378213

It's pretty good. Remember the target audience is young adults, but I read it several times when I was younger and it's always kinda stuck with me. Every now and then I'll think of some situation that reminds me of the book.

File: fart attack.gif (938KB, 500x228px) Image search: [Google]

938KB, 500x228px

>>34378213

File: 1498568172569.gif (133KB, 437x441px) Image search: [Google]

133KB, 437x441px

>>34376341

>>34376068
No, he uses the wood part

File: Ksnbnik.jpg (98KB, 958x1061px) Image search: [Google]

98KB, 958x1061px

>>34379146
>Implying he's not using the back of the head
>Implying there's even any wood on that tool

>>34376048
Celebrate for I now have 2 knife

who has the webm of the woman slicing her hand trying to split wood

>>34376048
>buying Bear gryls meme trash
>batonning anything
>shilling for donations
fuck this idiot

Should have used superior Cold Steel.

>>34376048
Make a new knife by ripping my arm off and sharpening the bone.

>>34376048
>"I'll buy you a new one, hon"

I am dying

This might be a question for /out/, but:

I get there's ultralighters out there that want to get buy outdoors with the absolute bare minimum. For them, batoning makes sense. However, for most people who camp are hiking less than 10 miles to their campsite, if that. Is it really *that* hard to just bring a hatchet? Why is batoning so fucking prolific these days?

File: 1498085472311.jpg (140KB, 319x480px) Image search: [Google]

140KB, 319x480px

>>34376048
>baton with metal on metal
>"huguguuu it dusnt werk"

>>34379623
because a quality knife should be able to baton infinitely, as long as you're not felling trees and doing metal on metal like this retard

>>34376048
..Grab the spare knife?

Knives seem like one of those things where you always bring two.

>>34379623
I have a Mora bushcraft HD, Its got a 3/4 tang and is 1/8 inch thick, It is much easier to split wood with batoning than trying to line up a hatchet. Rule of thumb when batonning is to always leave about 1 -1.5 inch of blade on the otherside of the wood you want to split,

Knife + Saw is superior to hatchet for camping

>>34378213
It's a kids' book aimed at kids around 5th or 6th grade, but it's a good read. When I was a kid, it inspired me to get out of my suburban house and go for walks in the country right outside town messing around with a pocket knife and slingshot I had to hide from my super liberal bubble-wrap-all-the-sharp-corners parents.

Read instructions in knife handle.
Drink my own piss.

File: Carlos.jpg (6KB, 225x225px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 225x225px

>>34379834
Now that's what I call old gold.

>>34376058
Who is it?

>>34377061
>they ask what you were doing when the knife broke
>you say batoning wood
>the owner of the company gets on the phone and calls you a faggot and says you can shove what's left of the knife up your retarded ass
>customer service agent can't stop laughing
>hang up and cry, mummy makes you some tendies so you feel better

>>34376048

pull out my other knife

>you do bring more than one knife while innawoods don't you anon?