How easy is it to hide on a USN cruiser for a week?

>>34265984
This why you don't eat a whole bag of mushrooms on duty. I know they can't test for it but for Christ sake wait til you have 2 weeks leave. 1/8 is plenty while you are on duty

>engine technician
>he found a decent hiding spot in the engineering department and was able to sneak food and water in a ship with more than 400 sailors

This shouldn't really be surprising.

Why is the Navy the worst branch?

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>>34265984
Pretty easy. We had a navy stories thread a while back where a guy discussed how a couple of guys smuggled a Thai hooker on board and hid her behind a panel. Nobody would have noticed, except they neglected to police her shit bucket.

Think it was from the same thread as pic.

>>34265984
We had a case on the destroyer I was on, where a supply guy unlocked the CO's At-Sea Cabin to let people fuck in there. The CO never stayed in there and preferred the larger CO State Room.

There's all kind of spaces on ships where people hardly go for whatever reason.

>>34265984
fags was hiding on them for years under dont ask dont tell

>>34266167
>that pic

Never have I been more glad that I'm a deckie

>>34267155
It's okay for you to say fag, like how niggers are okay being called nigger by other blacks.

>>34265984
To be absolutely honest, I thought this was another Cowpens adventure.

>>34266167
>blood mushrooms

now that's some grimdark bullshit right there.

If you work in something like engineering and gain the trust of the others, you could hide in there til port. No idea how you'd get off the boat without being seen tho

>>34266167
Similar story on a submarine told to me by an anon.

Some sailor smuggled a monkey onboard. Monkey escaped and was spotted by the crew.

Ship is well underway so the Captain ordered that the monkey be found. Once the monkey was found he ordered it to be shot out of the torpedo tube.

Story ends here.

>>34270590
>Once the monkey was found he ordered it to be shot out of the torpedo tube.
bet he and the other officers had a laugh about that

>>34266112
You literally sit on a boat for months on end. Only the mentally ill would sign up for that.

My favorite part was when they interviewed his ex-wife, because of course this retarded 23 year old has an ex-wife.

>>34266167
We left Thailand with a fucking chicken in our berthing that lived for us for some days before it finally disappeared. I can't guarantee where it went, but I suspect the all-Filipino mess division.

>>34270590
Heard that one but it was a sloth and the guy who found it forced his subordinates to toss it overboard and not say anything about it or they would all be fucked.

>>34266112
Being a Navy veteran, I've always suspected it's a combination of the relative isolationism, having to adjust to both military life and life at sea, and the fact that a lot of junior sailors (especially in engineering and deck departments) have jobs so bad that other departments will PUNISH their guys by making them work in engineering. I can't imagine how soul-crushing it must be to get to your ship and realize the job you volunteered to do is considered a punishment detail by people in other areas.

>>34266112
Stuck on a ship for months at a time. Only real distraction is playing butt darts. Finally pull into port, but you can't cut loose like the old days. Find out your wife/ girlfriend has been pumped more times than the Teapot Dome while you were gone.

I was on a Diesel boat in the us navy. When we went out to sea, you work all the time. Probably 12 maybe 14 hours but it goes by fast. I was never bored. It was not bad. It's not rigid that I recall. Bot camp tested you for how you handle mental stress was no big deal.

>just got to A school
>some of the guys I talk to at the smoke deck knew this guy
>everyone's in a really bad mood while I'm trying to learn and get my quals done
>currently 00:38 and I have to be up at 0500 because no one wants to let me shadow

Fuck you, dude.

Also whomst has been to Northshore Sports Club? I wanna go shooting and actually have fun.

ship crews are majority non-white
like 2/3rds non-white

Way too much time deployed at sea too

>>34265984

>Hide and Seek Champion: June 2017

Oh the navy. I thought all the retards joined the air force enlisted

>>34270590
> Once the monkey was found he ordered it to be shot out of the torpedo tube.
what a piece of shit that guy is.

>>34270617
Isn't that better than going on 20 mile foot patrols everyday, in 130°F heat with 80lbs of kit?

>>34265984
court martial?
jail time?
dishonorable discharge?

>>34271235
considering he's a non-white, I'd expect that he'll get an honorable discharge

>>34271258
Niggers and spics never get properly punished

>>34271301
>>34271258
RIP America.

>>34270969
>last USN SSK decommissioned in 1990

Dude, get off your grand kids computer

>>34271235
nah, now he has to close his eyes and count while the others hide

>>34271201
your other 2 options are to pull into port leaving the fleet defenseless, or to broach the surface which is something you never do, especially if its a boomer.

>>34271971
or just have an awesome monkey

>>34265984
>We are thankful to have found our missing shipmate and appreciate all the hard work of our Sailors and Japanese partners in searching for him,” Rear Adm. Charles Williams said. “I am relieved that this Sailor’s family will not be joining the ranks of Gold Star Families that have sacrificed so much for our country.

What a charitable way of saying that he's gonna be fucking reamed

>>34266167
>''got ourselves a bloodcork!'' He exclaims with a lack of emotion I hope I'll never know
reading this makes me sick, everytime

>>34265984
Is it possible he could have just gotten lost inside the ship?

>>34272483
which you have to feed with crew rations

>>34271206
The human psyche is far better equipped for hard exertions in the great outdoors than being wedged into a sardine can for six months at a go.

Storytime
>Be on watch on oiler
>doing UNREP with a destroyer
>We pull alongside, match speed, etc
>The guy with the line gun steps up to the railing, slips, fires line into the water between the ships
>Guy is in the process of getting smoked as they start reeling the line back in
>Suddenly there's yelling
>I look down from where I'm posted
>There's a big fucking shark on the deck now, with the line trailing from its mouth.
>the chief who was smoking the line gunner takes matters into his own hands, grabs the M14 and starts beating the shark to death with it
>Shark's jaw was later hung up on the wall of the mess

>>34265984
As a retired shitbag who spent most my very short enlistment napping in a closet I have to say I'm impressed.

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>>34272650
>beating a shark to death with a M14
Metal as fuck

>>34270954
They don't get carte blanche anymore ?
Is it, get hoem at 9 and get up at 8 type of shit with museum tours or something when in foreign ports ?
>>34271125
This is just the USA in general mate. 52% including hispanic (((whites))).

>>34272650
>Dude beats a shark to death with an M14
That's one hell of a story.

>>34272686
>52% including hispanic (((whites))).
what a poor meme

>>34272507
>We are thankful to have found our missing shipmate and appreciate all the hard work of our Sailors and Japanese partners in searching for him,” Rear Adm. Charles Williams said while finishing off the last bottle in his drink cabinet.
>After a solid minute and a half of staring into empty space and mouthing profanity he continued,
>“I am relieved that this Sailor’s family will not be joining the ranks of Gold Star Families that have sacrificed so much for our country."
>His statement concluded he slumped back in his chair before slowly opening his desk drawer to reveal a bound copy of the UCMJ.
>He put it in his lap and sat there for hours stroking it and whispering "Soon. Soon, my precious."

>>34271201
>animal of unknown health on board a tight small crampt sealed vessel

Tbh if it had a disease and bit someone, it would have been bad

>>34271182
what

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>>34266167
>blood mushrooms

>>34272725
>[UCMJ INTENSIFIES]

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>>34270590

>Once the monkey was found he ordered it to be shot out of the torpedo tube.

>>34272650
>grabs the M14 and starts beating the shark to death with it
Was this chief black and smoking a cigar?

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>>34271950
I didn't laugh, but I feel like I should have. You deserve a (you) at least

>>34270954
>Teapot Dome
holy underr8d reference

>>34272650
Holy shit I cannot imagine anything more fucking metal than this. I could only imagine what the chief who decided to beat a fucking shark to death with an M14 looked like

>>34272522
Its a ship, not the uncharted remains of Atlantis

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>>34270590
>shot out of the torpedo tube

>>34272531
Not that I believe the story but it's not like there's a shortage of food on US navy ships.

>>34265984
I imagine drugs and/or mental health issues were involved

>>34267155
Now that they can come out, it should make it easier to toss them overboard...

>>34272531
i feel like the problem is more that itd shit everywhere and break stuff because it is a monkey

>>34272541

Nah....humans are very adaptable. Being aboard a ship isn't much different than working some of the old school factory and manufacturing jobs. It really depends on the individual.

>>34267446
so then you is a nigger? is that what your saying
>>34275841
dang right

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>>34272650
>grabs the M14 and starts beating the shark to death with it