Polygraph

>>34216421
>I failed the US Secret Service polygraph
How?

>>34216421
supposedly they don't share that information with other agencies.

over 60% of border patrol applicants fail the polygraph. even after spending hours confessing to anything and everything. to try and clear themselves to the examiner. so they can get the job.

I don't think the polygraphs are being done straigtforward. I think it is a test on how you perform to being questioned and the testimony you give.

i failed FBI poly and almost immediately got a job with a federal OIG

they couldn't believe that I'd never, ever smoked pot. I honestly hadn't, because I always knew I eventually wanted a job with a clearance

>the IG job wound up being _way_ the fuck better. i made an absolute pile of money in iraq and retired young

As far as LEOs go, if you fail the polygraph, they can't not hire you just because of that. Polygraphs aren't even accurate tests

>>34216437
oh uh, and post retirement became a SERIOUS, big time stoner

1) my best friend in high school majored in biochem to learn how to grow the best hydroponically
2) two of my neighbors are massive dealers
3) a friend in my favorite city for day trips has a farm but doesn't deal, honest to god medical issues

>>34216441
yeah but it's more economic than going door to door interviewing. therefore, they use it as a method to preclude continuing the BI

oddly enough, (stoner bro here), a *cough* state department *cough* friend still uses me, but my friend in the unit decided it unwise once i became a total scum bag post retirement

>>34216421
>Does this also mean that I'll never be hired by an Federal LE agency?
most any agency will throw out the question "Have you ever been turned down/ denied employment with another LE agency? if yes, why?" also, was it the classic machine or the voice stress? just curious.

>>34216479
It was the classic, I suppose. Cords around torso, fingers hooked up, blood pressure cuff.
I know why I failed and I've promised myself it won't happen again.

>>34216421
Was it a full lifestyle?
I had to take one when I was attached to a certain three letter agency, and I'm sure I just barely passed. I lost my shit and started laughing uncomfortably when the proctor asked me if I ever thought about having sex with an animal

>>34216637
>I know why I failed
Out with it.

>>34216637
next time you go to take a poly, put some talc on your hands and fingers, I don't mean cake it on, just enough to coat them, it will absorb moisture and reduce the conductivity of the sensors on your fingers. that or you can go get one of those anti sweat treatments where they put your hands in a bath of conductive saline and zap your hands to shut the sweat glands down for a few weeks/months. that and pop a valium or something before hand, it will keep your breathing and heart rate level.
or you can contact the FSB, they used to teach people to beat a lie detector test in an hour. That's how they got spies hired into the CIA and other .gov agencies.

>>34216735
>on 4chan
>I know why I failed
yea, we all know why you failed, your pee pee betrayed you.

>>34216740
put a thumbtack in your shoe, and whenever you answer a question, put some pressure down onto it and the pain will send a reading to the machine.
The trick is that if you do this with every question, there won't be any irregularities for them to tell that you're lying

>>34216740
>or you can contact the FSB

Yeah dude, just give em a ring

>>34216421
Polygraphs don't detect lies or perform any useful function beyond intimidating and distracting people. It's a prop for interviewing. You failed an interview.

>>34216771
>i saw that episode of the commish too

>>34216437
This is interesting.
Never been interested in LE, but always knew I wanted to get into politics.
So I imagine I'd look fairly odd on a polygraph test, having never taken any recreational drugs before, and having kept an obsessively clean record my entire life. Active politically and running for local office in the next couple years.
In actual fact the worst dirt anyone could possibly dig on me is that I browse this tainted website. Nobody can know of my secret shame!

>>34216828

This. It is impossible to detect lies. The polygraph claims to detect stress, but why would a good liar feel stress? You have to know you're lying and be afraid you'll be caught (including by the polygraph) and have that fear manifest in one of the physical parameters the polygraph is measuring to get caught.

That said, I'm a pretty nervous person, so even knowing all that shit, I'd probably fail a polygraph (and be a bad cop).

If someone is relatively clean - no drugs, little to no alcohol, no criminal record of any kind, etc. - how do you fail the polygraph?

>>34216727
Interesting... anyone else been asked weird questions like this during a polygraph??

>>34216421
That's what you get for downloading CP from /b/ you jackass.

>>34216755
if they had a visual question where they asked if you liked to fap to traps i'd fail immediately

>>34216771
Most times they have you take your shoes off

>>34218737
the polygraph is not so much about what you have or haven't done in your life but how you react to things. it's a bullshit test and they know it but they'll use it as a way to try to get you to tell them things. never volunteer information that cannot be corroborated.

>>34218797

So if you're getting increasingly nervous or agitated because the proctor says you're lying even though you reply in the negative (and you really are truthful) you still fail the test right?

>>34218822
pretty much. you can be completely in the clear and know you've done no wrong but if they THINK you've done some shit that's all it takes.

>>34218822
Yes, that's usually why they keep them short, like 90 minutes. It's part of the reason so many people fail the Border Patrol polygraph, cause theirs goes for like 8 goddamn hours.

>>34216828
>>34218797
+1 to this and it not being legit.
They badger you all they want but the test is gonna be inconclusive. I feel like mostly they want to see if youre gonna crumble on the witness stand or not, or if you can keep a story straight.

>>34216421
Polygraph tests are pseudoscience. They probably just used it as an excuse not to hire you.

>>34218957
basically they think you're hiding something and instead of risk that they just go hire another warm body

>>34218795
lolno

>>34218778
That's because you're a proud gay man.

Since this is a clearance thread I guess. On the SF86, question 27.3, should I mention all the anime I torrent?

>>34220211
Yeah. You should also talk to them about your favorite anime. I talked about fate/kaleid but the guy failed me for some reason

>>34220211
Only hentai. Be clear, but general. They don't need title names, just general themes. IE: space, tentacles, schoolgirl, etc.

>>34220367
would i have to explain tsundere or would they know what it is?

>>34220283
i bet he's a fate/go secondary and disdains everything not original to go including the fate vn
he can eat a dick

>>34220946
explain it so they don't confuse it with yan
yan is only a positive if you're applying as a sniper

>>34216430
He didnt study