How do I prep without looking paranoid?

>>34199740
Stop being fucking autistic, buy what you need, and be honest when (if) people even give a shit to ask to ask. That's what I do and nobody has ever given me a hard time over it. Not that I'd even give a shart if they did.

>>34199740
>worrying about how other people will feel about you for three minute before worrying about starving for weeks
Don't be an idiot.

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>>34199740
Have you ever consider just not fucking caring what some person you've never met in your life and will never meet ever again thinks about your large amounts of food?

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>>34199740

I have a hunch you are mentally badly unstable and you are going to shoot yourself before any SHTF situation acually has the chance to pop up ...

>>34199740
Its way easier and less sketchy to do small amounts over time desu. Every time you buy something like rice, buy an extra bag or too. its also such little money that you wont notice the cost.

This is not real, right?

>>34199740
>I now have about 89kg of flour in my house
You started out with two 50kg bags - so you baked an eleven kilogram loaf? Wow. I am impress.

>>34199740

I use to be pro prepping but then I thought to my self why prep to prolong my suffering. Now I just want to be the first to die.

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>>34199740
Hate it when that happens

>>34199740
You do realize you can't eat raw flour and you need degradable food stuff to turn it into anything edible, right?

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>>34199740

Entertaining post, my friend.

On the bright side, if this were real and you could fuel it, in SHTF after society starts to rebuild you could become quite a successful baker.

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>>34199740

>>34199880
>water and yeast
>rare

If you're that worried, go to a store you don't visit often and pay with cash.

Buy what you want. Just remember their face. If you see them after SHTF they're after your food and should get a bullet. AS a matter of fact, get what you need in as few orders as possible. More deliveries means more people who may remember you've got a stockpile.

Is this new copy-pasta?

>>34199865
>Now I just want to be the first to die.

Why? People have survived with far less.

What are you expecting?

This is from someone, who for a time, lived in their car, then in a hangar.

Unless you're expecting a world ending event, "humanity" will carry on as usual.

>>34199912
Salt helps too.

>>34199880

Why you can't eat raw flour? What about raw rice?

>>34199740
idk if this post is fake or not, this is one of the most hilarious things I have ever seen on this site

how about you order it from some company that dose not ENTER your fucking house op maybe that would have been the smart move.

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>>34199740
is this real? This is a whole new level of autism

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>>34199740
How have you made it this far in life?

>>34199933
Raw flour potentially has a dangerous strain of E. coli, it's just not very safe. On top of that it just doesn't have a whole lot of neutritional value on its own.

>>34199880
hurrdurr what is flatbread
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_cnGT0T7uU

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>>34199740
include me in the screencap

>>34199740
Like all the other anons said why the fuck do you care about what person X will think about you stocking up?

I bet the delivery douche didn't even ask why you needed all the flour you just blurted it out like autistic faggot. So you what you want to be prepared? Even if someone thinks your a nut buying an ass ton of prep meals you will be an alive nut should you ever need it.

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>>34199740
>next few weeks feel super fucking nervous and anxious about this interaction
>decide to purcahse a bunch of baking equipment
>order more flour from the same store
>bake a loaf of bread for when the delivery person comes
>make sure they come and see me with a fresh loaf of bread, and lots of baking equipment

>delivery guy knows what's in the box
Unless it's clearly printed on the side or he works for the flour company, I call bullshit

tell them you reenact civil war battles and act as the cook so you have to bake hundreds of people. if they ask where all your shit is, tell them its in storage. learn a little snippet history about civil war baking incase they act intrigued (theyre not).

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>>34199740
>>realise I only have a small oven, no baking equipment
>>he asks how I can be running a bakery
>>get nervous and ask him to leave

Why are you worried about looking like a "prepper"?

I mean, I'm mormon and my church leadership activity encourages all mormons to save a year supply of food for their entire family. Just because you have a food supply does not mean your some crazy earl wannabe living in the woods banging farm animals and talking about the evil government.

It's 2017, people are allowed to mutilate their penises, bolt on some breasts and call themselves women and this is "socially acceptable" but you're worried about being labeled as a prepper?

>>34199740
Just tell them you like buying in bulk. How hard is that?

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>>34199740
Such gullible retards on /k/

Post timestamp of baking equipment and 89k of flour or get your thread saged u little bitch

>>34199740
Just tell them you have a fatshit hamplanet girlfriend.

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>>34199740
>he asks how I can be running a bakery
>get nervous and ask him to leave
>next few weeks feel super fucking nervous and anxious about this interaction

>>34199740

holy fuck why can't you just sit up at night and toss and turn with those terrible thoughts on your mind like the rest of us

>>34200120
+1 sir.

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>>34200140

>>34199923
I dont think delivery people keep track of who orders large amounts of food so they can raid their house when SHTF

>>34199740

go to Costco or Sam's Club and buy large quantities of non-perishable food like a regular fucking person you fucking crazy paranoid lunatic.

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>>34199740
Haven't had this good of a laugh in long time. Thanks you beautiful retard.

>>34199861
Probably spilled a couple kilos

>>34200161
not everything needs proofs man. Doesn't have to be real to show how autistic op is

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>>34199740
Buddy I deliver packages for UPS on the weekends, nobody really cares what you order, the only thing that might draw attention/annoyance is if you have a number of heavy large packages and you have a long driveway and that's only because it's a pain to deliver, other than that and the occasional obvious dildo we don't really put much thought into what's inside.

>>34199740
Dude I don't give a fuck what people think. I don't broadcast shit but what I buy at H-E-B isn't a big fucking deal. So what if I get dinosaur tendies, Lucky Charms, about 10 cans of beans, 5 pounds of brown rice, a ton of the HEB brand soups (Sirloin Burger with veggies and siracha is the shit.), and other shit?

Are you a bitch? Do you care what some UPS, brown shorts wearing faggot, thinks?

>>34199927
>world ending event

yeah that's what I was thinking. something along the lines of the planet stopping its rotation or the sun burning out maybe even a virus that spreads and gives everyone super ebola.

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>>34199861
Here's an artist rendition of what OP did to those 11 kilos. His mother is depicted on the right.

You're fucking autistic my dude.

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I have to admit, I get nervous knowing FedEx has delivered at 10k rounds of ammo to my doorstep

>>34199740
Relax, idiot. Just buy what you want. What do you care what people think? Fuck.

>>34200503

So is hill country fair the same as the heb brand?

>>34201394
Yeah, I actually prefer their chunky soup to Campbell's.

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HOW2PREP SMARTLY AND NON RETARDEDLY:

>2 weeks of food and water and gas
>gas powered portable generator and extension cables
>some thick comfy wool blankets
>a decent First aid kit
>a bright flashlight and extra bats of various sizes
>a gun and some ammo
>gas camping stove

Boom, you now have the basics to survive 99% of disasters and emergencys you will encounter living in NA or EU.

There may be some niche additions you may want to add depending on what (such as a chainsaw if your house/road is surrounded by trees which get hit by lighting, woodchopping axe/saw for a fireplace, etc) but the above list will make you properly prepared for everything while not looking like a paranoid nut.

don't say you are prepping for Alex Jones tier stuff.

say you are prepping for fire, earthquake, flood, hurricane, tornado, etc.

>>34200120
I can understand OP now, the only thing worse than having people think you're crazy is having people think you're Mormon.

>>34200995
It's better than going to a gun shop and doing it. Unfortunately as a Califag, I'm not going to have that luxury in 2018. I still have walmart-- Actually I have to buy a license, get a background check, and pay a fee for each purchase (fee only) LOL fuck.

A funny thing about Omar Mateen, was him going to a gun shop and having the people who worked there getting suspicious, because he tried to buy a shitton of ammo and body armor, after speaking to someone on the phone in Arabic (in a gun shop, really sandnigga?).

But yeah, the funny part. No it wasn't the Orlando Shooting. He could have bought both of those things online with no problem, but he decided to look as shifty as possible, and ended up getting the gun shop owners to alert the FBI right after he left. Too bad they didn't perform their CT magic like they did before, in time.

>>34199927
Story?

>>34199958
I hate the way that guy talks

>>34202052
Why not just move out of cuckifornia

>>34201952
that won't quite see you through a global pandemic

>>34200236
Costco tracks your purchases, senpai

>>34200575
or the sun falling out of orbit and hitting the earth

>>34199880
Have you ever heard of sourdough? Yeast is all around us.

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>>34199740
Great Odin's raven you have made me laugh so hard I farted loudly and woke up my dog.

Pic related, you made the fucking top of the list.

>>34199740
i kek'd thanks OP. why cant you just buy the shit in person? why do you need to have it delivered


have you ever heard of costco or sam club? you can buy shit in bulk there, 50 pound sacks of sugar and flour, everything

>>34199740
Protip: dog kibble can make good SHTF food. Its cheap, available, has lots of nutrients, and can actually be quite tasty, expecially when you're hungry. I've been using dog kibble as a survival food on hikes, and camping trips for years, and it really keeps you going.

Sort of reminds me of this old saying: If you want to be the top dog, you've got to eat like a dog

>>34199740

lol, you're comic relief anon. I like you.

>>34200120
fyi we can also bolt on penises and mutilate breasts now

>>34203550
You're going to get Crohn's Disease from all the bonemeal in that shit dude.

>>34199740
Just tell people you're preparing for a camping trip and that's why you have a bunch of freeze dried foods. If you're using the baking excuse, just say you are just getting equipment and shit ready and haven't officially started. Of course, you could just not give a fuck.

>>34203550

dogs also eat thier own shit.

>>34203603
It's fine, sometimes I switch it out with at food/wet food

>>34203603
i think by law dog food has to be safe for human consumption, even though its not recommended

but yeah, i dont understand why you would do that when you can buy real food for cheaper

>>34203641
Can't you just eat regular food? Even if you're top dog you're still just a dog which is just an inbred wolf which still isn't particularly impressive. I ate dog food as a kid all the time, it sucked ass and most of the nutrition was artificially enriched in a form not readily usable by humans.

>>34203603
>>34203632
>>34203679
I don't want to hound all of you about this, but dog kibble has some of the best calorie to weight ratios out there. Although I have noticed that since I started I grow way more hair on my ears, and both of my balls hang significantly lower than before.

>>34199740
OP you already are paranoid and most likely crazy. Just accept it and be happy while you are crazy.

Fuck what others think, you could just as easily say nothing at all, sign the paperwork, grunt and go back inside.

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>>34199740
Impressive

>prepping
>in the trump era
Oy vey, goy, why do you have to worry about prepping? The republicans in power, they won't take your guns! The happening has been averted, stop prepping and trust your government, goy!

I know this story is probably fake but I know there's someone out there autistic enough to have done this exact thing at least once.

>>34199740
Just tell everyone its more of a hobby than anything else. Tell everyone that you don't really believe SWHTF anytime soon but you'd rather be prepared than sorry for that minuscule offchange. Tell them that you know theres no change at all of zombie apocalypse but planning and prepping for one anyway is fun.

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>>34199740

Autism aside, I'll bite.

Don't buy tons and tons of food all at once. Decide to buy a couple extra cans/bags/boxes of the foods you want to store every week. It will help both your wallet and your obviously fragile psyche.

It will also help you to rotate your stock so older preps get eaten first and newer goes to the back of the shelf.

Store somewhat long lasting foods that you will actually eat, not 100lbs of flour and rice, which may go rancid or get eaten by weevils before you ever get a chance to use it.

If you do want to store wheat, get a decent mill and buy wheat berries. They'll last much longer.

Prepping doesn't have to be a crazy person pursuit if you're smart about it. Acting like a sperg will only make you seem more suspicious.

>>34199740
you could have said you were planning on donating it somewhere, or the usual 'why the fuck not'
god damn even I know that and I'm a massive sperg

>>34199818
Pretty much this. I went through a rather paranoid/socially anxious stage like OP is referencing. But I ended up growing out of it.

>>34199740
jesus, I honestly dnt know if this is bait, or just high powered autism

who gives a fuck about buying in bulk. hippies and jews do it all the time, Its an easy way to save money. take off your camo hat, and put on your yarmulke hiram.

>>34199861
he used the flour to make spaghetti to boil out of his pockets.

>>34200222
delivery driver here, yes we do.

>>34203662
no its not. most of the stuff in dog food is spoiled or expired human grade ingredients. read on AKC forums about the contaminants in the dog food, mold, fungus, bacteria and all kinds of other shit.

They probably wouldn't think much about it, let alone think you are crazy.

Unless you god a Gadsden flag outside your house, then people think your one of those obnoxious in-your-face opinionated people that's probably a least a little unhinged if not full-fledged militia member, weirdo survivalist, or conspiracy theorist.

>>34205308
No. The FDA discovered during depressions animal food sales increase. The only logical conclusion is people were reduced to consuming pet food. So they mandated animal food to be safe for people.

>>34205319
theres a dog food plant out by me, and the people who work there laugh about grinding rats up into the food. its not much different from the campbells soup place in maxton, its fucking gross in that place.

>>34199740
Quit being a fucking autist and just order the shit you want you tard.

>>34205326
That may be true. But then the cans are heat treated, or cook/prepared in a way to kill germs and bacteria.

So while you may be eating ground up rat, it was sanitized. It's nasty as fuck, but legally it's supposed to go through a process making it fit for human consumption.

>>34205342
this is the dried fopod place, the wet plant in sc i have no idea about. they grind all the shit up, mix it, run it through a shaper, then bake it, but the gribbly bits, shit, fur and bones are still in it.

>>34203561
t, James Yeager

>>34205367
Buck Yeager doesn't have a dick though, that's her whole thing

>>34199740
Bottom line: from your post, you in fact ARE a "fucking crazy paranoid lunatic." Ironically, it has nothing whatsoever to do with you ordering large amounts of food, it has to do with your weird reactions and worries about it.
It's a good thing you will probably never have need of a condom, because I can just imagine you trying to buy a pack and going full doofus about it.

>>34199849
It isn't "sketchy" to buy a lot of food. No one cares. Really.

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>>34200222
>>34205298
Another delivery driver here, you're goddamn right we do. Shit, if I've delivered to a house before, I can pretty much guess what they've ordered before I even look at the slip. It's not difficult to remember that the weird single guy on Mulberry keeps ordering "unmarked boxes" every month. It is a bit worrying though.

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>>34199740
>worried you'll look paranoid and crazy
>online shopping

>>34202705
Prepping doesn't save you in a global pandemic, only skills helps you if the world burns.
Skills being:
>obtaining food
>obtaining water
>not getting robbed
>basic medical
If global pandemic happens 5 years of grain wont do shit.

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>>34199740
Sometimes shitposting goes too far

Having a large storage of food is useful as an insurance in case of future poverty. Same as gardening.

You might have a serious illness in your household and unable to work, but bills would still exist.

No you won't look crazy. Use this whole mixup to your advantage and start learning to bake different things. Use it as a catapult to learn a new skill and a stepping stone to pull you out of your anxiety.

>>34200120
It's funny how when I was a kid mormans were the weird but nice folk (who had zero qualms about ending an intruders existence in a break in) and now they are my most normal neighbors who I can in any way relate to.

>>34199740
Why would you get spaghetti in bags? It will just break. You're getting jipped, OP

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>>34200161
>Post timestamp of baking equipment and 89k of flour

you must do it OP, include me in screencap

>>34205488
the situation you're describing would be better helped by a savings account.

>>34200433
>tfw had over 100lbs of ammo delivered yesterday

S-sorry UPS.

You're not paranoid, OP. On the other hand, you have a severe case of social phobia.

>>34202052
Didn't he only buy like 500 rounds of .223?

I don't think I've ever bought less than that at one time, buying it a box at a time is stupid and a waste of money.

>>34205892
Yeah but a bunch of worthless ones and zeroes representing worthless paper won't help you if society collapses. Two birds with one stone and all that.

>>34199740

You are the kind of mentally defective wretch that should probably worry about a lot of other shit before your food storages.

>>34202889
So does every major credit card. Most of the data is to figure out demand and what supply to keep available. Can it be used to single out hoarders in shtf sure but is it worth the time of someone to go down the list and raid house after house? Use a PO box if you worry about that for all store memberships and credit cards. NSA will still know but if you are on their radar you have other problems. If super paranoid pay cash for everything everywhere and never go through a toll booth

>>34205892
And both is better than either on Its own especially in hurricane zones

>>34206046
I didn't say anything about collapse, I said that "future poverty" or "bills still exist" is better helped by an account with interest rather than a store of food you have to replace every 5 years.
>>34206133
Totally agree, I was just shitting on the idea of hording food as a financial safety net.

Prepping is clearly not for you. Maybe open that bakery.

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>>34199740
You are one special type of retarded.

>>34199740
First off, you don't tell anyone about it. Autistic people refer to this is being a "grayman" which is a term for not pretending to be a tacticool operator cosplayer in public. Should anyone find out just say you have it in case of a natural disaster.

Now go buy a fuck ton of salt and dried beans, now you can have flatbread and beans for the next half a year.

Canned goods and ammo, my friend. That's future currency.

>>34206194
Fair enough I just run into a lot of the money only prep types in NY and in an area that in 30 years had 2 blizzards that took down power for a month or more

>>34202705
>>34205453
It could if everyone is dying of superebolaids he could stay inside and eat without risking going outside and catching it from some nigger.

>>34205408
What happens on Mulberry Street stays on Mulberry. I'm watching you right back delivery man...

>>34199740

>>How do I paranoid without looking paranoid.

Why does everyone in the states think you need a gun in case of natural disaster?

Wouldn't you stay home and drink cocoa in case of some kind of flood or storm or whatever, assuming your house isn't blown down due to shitty american engineering?

When the ice storm hit when I was a kid, there was no shooting I heard of, but everyone was scrambling to assemble shit like dry cereal and tea lights. And there was a flood here recently, I didn't hear of any violence going on but it probably would have been nice for people to have pumps or properly sealed basements and a pantry full of nonperishables

>>34199740
"This is just for if a really bad storm/earth quake/tornado happens..."
There you go. Get out of jail free card.

>>34206557
Black people with knives taking any chance they can to loot and rape are roughly 10% of the American population.

>>34206557
The US is much more spread out than most European countries, and the ratio of first responders to individuals is much lower so people feel the need to be able to subsist on their own for a reasonable period of time as it may be awhile before aid gets to them, plus in the states guns are easy enough to get that there's really no reason not to.

When you combine that with tales of events like Hurricane Katrina where gangs of looters cropped up it makes not having a gun seem like a stupid option, I'd rather have one and not need it than need it and not have it.

>>34206593
theres tons of black people where i live and that didnt happen during the various storms and floods over the years

>>34206619
>events like Hurricane Katrina where gangs of looters cropped up
but those stories were myths and debunked

how do you loot when all the lootables are underwater?

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>>34206634
>debunked
when there's video evidence...

>>34206634
>myths and debunked
Just like the Holocaust, right?
And you loot places that didn't flood entirely while emergency services are busy. Are you seriously dumber than a nigger?

>>34206662
>And you loot places that didn't flood entirely while emergency services are busy.
How do you get there? Your car is underwater, and you can't swim there, because you are black.

>>34206026
>he doesn't buy various loads to test their performance

stick to the surplus stuff, my dude.

>>34206874
You walk?

Is this seriously beyond your comprehension?

>>34199740
why do you care what other adults think of you lolololol

>>34206910
>walking underwater
Okay you can just fuck off now.

>>34206969
Just tell me how deep do you THINK floods get because I have a feeling you don't know how deep they really do get.

Buy stuff and send it to a friends house (assuming you have any)

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>>34199740
Wear blackface and buy generic foods at the grocery store at the 1st of every month. Nobody will suspect a thing.

>>34206891
Just to make you mad I'll let you know 95% of what I shoot is Tula and Wolf steelcase.

>>34206988
Ignore the troll. And if it is a legit euro they will learn soon enough

>>34206988
There was that one that engulfed the world once. That was fun.

>>34199740
I'm a cashier (I'm 18, don't h8) and we don't care. Really. The shit you buy doesn't really stand out to us. Only thing I can remember standing out to me was some dude with a crazy hipster beard buying a bluetooth casset player. No-one cares what you do with your money. You could also buy bulk non-perishables online if you're that worried. Just do you, and stop giving a fuck.

>>34199740
Seriously? You're the guy? My brother lives like 2 states away from me, but he does deliveries and told me about "the guy hoarding flour and claiming to run a bakery who got all nervous about it." We all had a good laugh.

Once we got talking though, we did realize that flour can be explosive if it's really dry, so we reported it to the FBI. They said they will send out a guy to watch your house. They did send a female agent for the next delivery, she got a little more intel on your living conditions for the file, so I'm sure you're the same guy.

Good luck! I'm sure you've got nothing to worry about because you have nothing to hide. A few people looking in on you isn't really a bad thing, after all.

>>34199740
Jesus Christ and the Immortal Bug, this is some next-level autism.

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Reminds me of this

>>34203510
[autism intensities]

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>>34207407
THAT was what you summoned me for?

It's a fucking to-do list, I'm busy and I have shit to do you little mongoloid. I'm not a sunny little sponge of information, the alcohol and LSD has dried out my brain a little bit and now I'm forgetful.

Go bake a monstrous 24lb loaf of bread and scream at the delivery men who witness it.

>>34207257
At least you are working at 18. I can't tell you how many applications I throw out where the work experience started near the end of college and involved making coffee or sandwiches. And you are right about zero fucks being given by a cashier unless the customer was funny, attractive, grotesque, or an asshole I never noticed or remembered. Now the advertisers and marketers have a better database than the NSA as it is their money to see how we spend our money and as private industry they give even fewer fucks about privacy or constitutional rights

>>34199740
>While I move these for you, if you don't mind me asking, what are you gonna use all this flower for?
>u-uh, ya. I was thinking... I've really always wanted to try baking. You know, l-like being a baker and stuff.
>Well being a baker would need a bakery and looks like your kitchen has a ways to go. Hahaha, am I right or am I right?
>uhhh...
>Did you forget to order the bakery before the flower man? Hahaha.
>...
>So, uh, good luck man. Just need you to sign here.
>...
>Hey, you're acting kind of strange man. You feeling alright?
>... Please leave

>>34207139
> That was fun
Utnapishtim please go.

>>34202901
http://discovermagazine.com/2000/oct/featworld
the world could end in ways we couldn't even conceive of

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>>34207139
Dry land is not a myth!