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Police Cats

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Thread replies: 320
Thread images: 85

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The police use dogs at weapons but why not cats like Panthers?

I think I just innovated the field of policing

>Suspect wont comply
>Open back of the truck
>Fucking Panther comes out

think of the uses /k/
>>
>>34199401
Difficult/impossible to train well enough
>>
>>34199401
>Panther

You mean Puma.
>>
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>>34199401
>Suspect wont comply
>Open back of the truck
>Fucking Panther comes out
>Get mauled by savage untrained able beast
>Tyrone laughs and walks away.
>>
>>34199401
You can't train cats as well as dogs. Simple reason is dogs are stupid and need guidance. That's why they have rank within their groups. Cats are solitary animals for the most part. They are hunting you and you don't even know it.
>>
>>34199401
Police dogs are meant to incapacitate and immobilize a suspect. A big cat like a leopard would simply maul them to death, or at the very least cause serious life threatening injuries. Big cats have a much stronger bite force than dogs.
>>
>>34199451
that's clearly a cougar.
>>
>>34199495
No thats a bobcat
>>
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>>34199463

Why don't we train police bees instead?

>Suspect won't comply.
>Open the back of truck.
>FUCKING BEES EVERYWHERE
>Tryone flips the fuck out
>Either lays down and gives up
>or freaks the fuck out and gets shot

win win desu
>>
>>34199437
This. Cats only think for themselves, they can't really be trained, all it takes is one instance of them deciding they would rather eat you than perform their task

However, if it were possible, this would be absolutely terrifying

>>34199495
No you idiot, it's a mountain lion
>>
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>>34199484
that's the point

>negro wont comply
>gets ripped in half
>mfw
>>
This is a panther, OP. They would just kill people.
>>
>>34199519
Meow
>>
>>34199532
>BREAKING: Police set vicious black panthers on members of the Black Panthers
>>
>>34199508
>mountain lion

You mean a catamount?
>>
>>34199478
you can't train wolves either and they are smarter than dogs. basically dogs are stuck at an infantile level in their mental development compared to wolves and the other great difference is they actually care about humans.
>>
why don't you post a pic of your cat-back deadlift instead you fat curly haired fuck
>>
>>34199542
Sounds like another action packed episode of the RUNNING MAN.
>>
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Police Cheetah
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>>34199559
how about my 185kg squat
>>
>>34199556
It's almost like, humans bred them that way?
>>
>>34199568
yeah sue i was just arguing it's not about the solitary vs group/pack animal thing. the real difference is that dogs are bred stupid and infantile.
>>
>>34199550
Somebody mention Catamites?
>>
>>34199573
Alot of animals are, even kitties. But naturally, cats have always been more intelligent and cleaner than dogs.
>>
>>34199556
Also, wolves, real wolves, are huge, and fucking terrifying. Even the "tame" ones
>>
>>34199584
1 Puma
2 Cougar
3 Couguar
4 Panther
5 Panthere
6 Painter
7 Catamount
8 WIld Cat
9 American Lion
10 California Lion
11 Silver Lion
12 Mountain Devil
13 Mountain Lion
14 Mountain Demon
15 Mountain Tiger
16 Mountain Cat
17 Purple Panther
18 Tiger
19 Tyger
20 Lion
21 Lyon
22 Deer Tiger
23 Deer-killer
24 Pampas-cat
25 Mexican Lion
26 Indian Devil
27 Red Tiger
28 Brazilian Cat
29 Bender
30 Brown Tiger
31 Poltroon Tiger
32 Sneak-cat
33 Tyger of America
34 Mountain Screamer
35 Rocky Mountain Lion
36 Black Puma
37 King-cat
38 Varmint
39 American Panther
40 Great Panther
Catamountain
Cat-o-mountain
>>
>>34199598
actually from my observation female cats are smart, but the tomcats are dumb shits usually.
>>
>>34199598
I used to live out in a rural area and would let my dog and cat roam around the property during the day, but when they decided to come back inside, the cat would simply jump up and pull down on the latch to open the front door as she had seen me do on countless occasions. The dog would just bark and scratch the paint.
>>
>>34199542
>when the genetic memories kick in
>>
Tactical lynxes are the future
>>
Border security water patrol Crocodiles
>>
>>34199631
Females are usually a little more intelligent, when we are talking about cats. With most types of animals, females are good guardians.
>>
>>34199451
Quit making up mythical creatures!
>>
>>34199649
Hip hop anonymous
>>
Giant boars.
>>
>>34199401
I'd say they should use hyenas. Scary as fuck, excellent sense of smell, massively powerful bite.
>>
>>34199698
DAMN YOU, YOU GIVE HIM ALL THE EASY ONES
>>
>>34199401
Why not just a herd of raccoons, with the way this thread is going
>>
>>34199745
We want to detain criminals, not eat their trash.
>>
>>34199720
Have fun riding with a couple hyenas in a police cruiser for a couple of hours.
>>
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>>34199401
What about tactical Wolverines?
>>
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>>34199504
>police bees
someone explain to me why this isn't genius
>>
>>34199779
Viscous
>>
>>34199451

It's a warhog you stupid fucking red
>>
>>34199781
That could be an advantage for the criminals.


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mUR14_ry1Zo
>>
>>34199779
>prisoner is not complying in his cell
>kick the side of a wolverine cage a couple of times
>toss angry skunk bear in cell
>missing hand and nose later
>prisoner now feels like complying

I can see how a couple of those things could come in handy during a prison riot.
>>
>>34199781
Because of colony collapse disorder. Fucking bees would be getting Varroa mites all over the interior of your patrol car.
>>
>>34199624
What about a bear cat, seriously what is that, it was the mascot of one of my highschools rivals I'm assuming it's made up?
>>
>>34199825

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Binturong
>>
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>>34199745
The domestication of cats has never been explored. These feral beasts can be tamed while retaining their killer instincts. Raccoons offer few advantages over the K9, while cats offer the strategic advantage of greater speed, greater agility, and tactical concealed claws. Cats also have a longer lifespan, require less room for housing, and are self cleaning. This means greater savings for the state. Beginning anew with the domestication of cats allows for us to learn from past mistakes (the poor breeding of German Shepherds that has led to their declining quality of health).
>>
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>>34199825
>>
>>34199842
>bearcat
>not related to bears or cats

People give some Animals some fucking stupid names
>>
"Do you know why I pulled you over sir?"
>>
>>34199891
Because you don't have opposable thumbs and want cat food?
>>
>>34199847
my cat was domesticated as fuck. I could pick him up bring him over to my bed cuddle he didint care than I would take a bath bring him with me cuddle a bit wash him he could open doors and shit I miss him :(
>>
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Officer kot reporting for duty
>>
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>>34199917
I know that feel
>>
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>>34199504
Holy shit I'm dying
>>
>>34199911
My bowl is only half full of food. Step out of the car, sir
>>
>>34199847
>poor breeding of German Shepherds
I feel really bad about this. You can have what are basically purebred dogs, but the AKC fucked it up major by setting retarded standards.

The German Shepherd was never meant to be like it is now. I had one growing up that was more like how the creator of the breed envisioned, my dog had a straight back and was salt and pepper colored, and she was pretty healthy until she died at almost 13 years old after living outside her entire life.
>>
>>34199941
he was best kitty he would follow me around everywhere I once went for a 200km hike and he followed me the entire time and brought mice and stuff was a great pillow but we would usally switch roles and he would end up sleeping on my chest and face suffocating me. NEVER EVER once bit or scratched me.
>>
>>34199401
I laughed.
Chances are the cat would lick it's balls then begin chasing the lasers of the SWAT team's MP5's.
>>
>>34199966
>point laser at subject's crotch
>death from blood loss

>no ammo used
>>
>>34199504
>Tryone starts slapping at the bees
>47 counts of assaulting a police animal
>>
>>34199504
>SWAT team comes in full beekeeper suits, no body armor, no weapons
>Carry beehives out of SWAT van
>>
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Why not train the terror of the shitposters?
>>
What wis dis?

>>34200000
>>
>>34199401
>>34199561
>Cheetah

Could work:
>ughal rulers trained cheetahs as well as caracals in a similar way as the West Asians, and used them to hunt game – especially blackbuck. The rampant hunting severely affected the populations of wild animals.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheetah#Interaction_with_human_beings
>>
>>34199451
Stop advertising for brands on /k/!
>>
>>34199504
why not a police kangaroo?

>can actually crush skulls with front paws
>a swift kick with the legs will cause instant rupture of whatever organ it hits, followed by broken bones, potentially severed arteries, and that's before you get into the puncturing effect of the claws
>looks fuckin maaaad cunt
>can wear normal police uniforms and potentially normal police holsters
>skull is strong enough to take .22lr, enough to fend off the average tyrone
>a baseball bat won't stop this cunt
>has tactical baby roo holding pouch, also capable of tactically holding actual children, invaluable in any emergency situation
>has an IQ high enough to follow basic commands, provided you're not a cunt
>capable of being better actors than half of hollywood https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3HkUKoGoc4
>SKIPPY SKIPPY THE BUSH KANGAROO
>good diplomatic animal
>no tarrifs will apply on importation thanks to free trade agreements, vastly cheaper than importing russian bears
>>
>>34200085
>Go on a trip to Australia with parents and sister when 10 yo
>Go to wildlife refuge thing to go feed and pet kangaroos and shit
>Also some emus walking about the large field/pasture thing
>One emu with only one eye would would stab it's beak into your hand to grab some food

it hurt, also kowalas when not in a tree and crawling around on the ground is some freaky shit, they're heavy little bastards too, I held one for a picture and 10 yo me almost dropped it
>>
>>34199891
Alright meow, hand over you license and registration
>>
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>>34199504
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6i31NswVrQ
>this hasn't been posted
>>
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>>34200085

>>34200085
emus are also a good option, but i'd personally recommend cassowaries

>claws are so sharp that a firm swipe will disembowel people
>legs are strong enough to bowl over grown men
>looks pretty, will go well with any female cops, invaluable if you appreciate diversity
>has basically giant balls hanging off neck
>has given basically every zookeeper in the country PTSD
>is very violent, will go well with SWAT
>is just generally a good animal
>will defend 7 km^2 of territory, enough for any police station
>will live for 50 years
>females are up to 2 meters tall (6'6) and weigh 60 kg
>tactical eggs
>The one documented human death was caused by a cassowary on 6 April 1926. 16-year-old Phillip McClean and his brother, aged 13, came across a cassowary on their property and decided to try to kill it by striking it with clubs. The bird kicked the younger boy, who fell and ran away as his older brother struck the bird. The older McClean then tripped and fell to the ground. While he was on the ground the cassowary kicked him in the neck, opening a 1.25 cm (0.49 in) wound which may have severed his jugular vein. The boy died of his injuries shortly afterwards

$1,000 and some navy seals to protect us while we hand it over and it's all yours
>>
>>34199964
>tfw you described my cat except the 200 km hike
>>
>>34199676
Could work honestly. Crocs are fuckin clever girls.
>>
>>34200196
He was a good kitty.
>>
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>>34199401
>>
>>34199977

Oh fuck. GOOD point.
>>
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>>34200205
Wouldn't work anon, we'd need to resurrect Steve Irwin
>>
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>>34200257
>not wanting tactical biological stealth submarines
how will ivan even compete?
>>
>>34200275
she be ded?
>>
>>34199649
dude id run like fucking hell from a hippo too those things will wreak your shit
>>
>>34200394
>not CC'ing a 500 magnum
you even trying?
>>
>>34200394
Hippos kill more people in Africa than crocodiles.
>>
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>>34199953
Why don't you open the door and make me? :^)
>>
>>34200394
implying you can run from a hippo
>>
>>34199401
Thats like asking why War elephants never caught on.

Large cats simply don't meet up with the 6 requirements for a domesticated animal.


>Can't be a picky eater
>Must reach maturity quickly
>Willing to breed in captivity
>Docile by Nature
>Cannot have a strong tendency to flee or panic
>Must conform to a social hierarchy.

Number 3 on that list removes any large breed cats since they have extremely elaborate courtship rituals.

You could tame large cats but lol if they get shot you'd be out all that training for an animal that could also turn on you at any time just as easily as a perp.
>>
>>34199961

Reasons like that are why I don't understand people who spend up to thousands on AKC paperwork purebreds likely to have health issues

Mutts from the pound/shelter or wherever are more likely to be healthy, depending on history loyal due to whatever level of dog appreciation they feel towards you taking them in, and also if looks are a factor mystery mutts can result in some pretty cool looking dogs.
>>
>>34200444
Tacticul hippo unit.
>>
>>34200519
tfw all six could apply to some (admittedly stupid) humans

I sorta want domesticated human slave now
>>
>>34200621
>not having a house nigger.

What are you some sort of foreigner?
>>
>>34199401
Cheetahs are domesticable, sempai. The only problem is that their bones are made of glass.
>>
>>34200646
niggers aren't human
>>
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>>34199779
MI represent
>>
>>34199770
They prefer to be called rookies.
>>
>>34200330
The spine of the stingray is the fork near the tip of the tail. Its still in, and that ray is very calm.
>>
>>34200761
Aren't those extinct here?
>>
>>34200436
>get charged by hippo
>whip out trusty 500 magnum
>cylinder(?) dump into its open jaws
>All the bullets are deflected by impossibly thick and dense skull, causing non-lethal hits
>Get legs ripped off and tossed around like lawn darts by the deadliest creature in Africa
>>
>>34199401
The Romans had cats with nine tails to punish people and had some imported pussies from Egyptia but I think those were just for eating slaves.

That is clearly a Lynx btw.
>>
*Blocks your path*

"Honk?"
>>
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>>34200860
I think some /k/ommandos were breeding a dragon variant.
>>
>>34200538
I don't like mutts though, I just don't like dogs that are pure bred to the point where they're fucking retarded and have hip dysplasia
>>
>>34200860
>>34200761
Oh are you talking about wolverines? Kek.

They are more heavily concentrated in the Upper Penn. and Canada, but There still a decent amount in the northern Lower Penn.
>>
cats are too stupid to properly train
>>
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>>34200139
That kangaroo is swole
>>
>>34199504
>>34199781
>>34200022
>Bees sting him
>47 counts of murder of a police officer
>>
>>34200185
They are pretty big, making it easier for tyrone to shoot.
If it was an unarmed criminal we were talking about, there wouldn't be any more unarmed criminals. These land birds are fucking scary.
>>
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>>34200887
Do you mean a Cat-o-nine tails anon? Because it's not literally desu. Kinda like pic related, but imagine 9
>>
>>34199504
Beekeeper here, you actually could weaponize bees.

Bees leave a tracer pheromone on you when they sting, alerting other bees that the sting site is a threat and should be stung more. The tracer is made of several chemicals; banana oils contain one or two of them, and beekeepers who just ate a banana may find their hive a bit feistier than usual. In theory, if you isolated all the chemicals you could store and dispense it as needed.

I want to have a monolithic dome surrounded by beehives. As a defense system, have a row of sprayers near the hives facing outwards, or near the windows; alternatively, you could load paintballs with alarm pheromone and have automatic sentry turrets like those YouTube guys have built. Then just put drummers on the hives.

>house being attacked
>sprayers or paintballs light up threat
>drummers start knocking all hives so bees swarm out to investigate
>bees swarm and destroy threat.


Some bees are more prone to this, such as africanized honeybees. SWAT just needs paintball markers of alarm pheromone and small boxes of Africanized bees that break on impact. Ball up a bunch of bees into some kind of grenade that disperses alarm pheromone and now we're cooking with gas.
>>
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>>34199649
>>34200394
>>34200444
>>34200862

Some of you probably know, but hippos are most closely related to whales, it's fucking weird
>>
>>34200912
REMOVE HONK
>>
>>34201274
>>
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>>34201274

I fucking dare you, buddy.
>>
>>34201068
You can't put a bee on trial
>>
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>>34201338
You were obviously waiting for this reply
>>
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>>34199401
Can't train cats to do anything except fucking dumb cat stuff.

Hyena- you can actually domesticate, plus they can bite off limbs, run for days and give anything short of a male lion a run for its money in a fight.
People need to remember Siberia basically didn't get settled and it delayed the crossing to Alaska until cave hyenas where extinct... because they ATE all the humans!
>>
>>34201270
Dinosaurs are no joke if you're a slow poke.
>>
>>34201319
what kind of turbocuck workplace would take shit from a bird long enough to need to put up a sign rather than throttle the fucken thing
>>
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>>34199504
>>
>>34201414
The feline species is too rebellious and instinctual to be trained properly. They will remember when you were mean to them and get even one day.
FTFY
>>
>>34199504
Police bees would be easier than cats.

>Police spray selves with some pheromone

>shoot runaway with a paintball type weapon with bee-enraging hormone

>release bees, who track pheromone with suicidal zeal
>>
>>34199624

From all of those kitties you are wrong, its an ocelot.
>>
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>>34201270
Yeah, they are a unique example of a organism evolving from water (fish) to land (tetrapod) to water (whale) then back to land (hippo).
>>
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It is only a matter of time before that robotic hound from Fahrenheit 451 is real. Those boston dynamic machines are a first step, then we need a power supply. Soon, wrong doers will be, in extreme cases, taken in by robots.

It'll be great
>>
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>>34201274
I have removed at least 50 HONKS or as I like to call them Sky Donkeys. Just imagine you're in the yard, enjoying a sunny day when suddenly two dozen fucking Satan spawned sky donkeys fly overhead emiiting 120 dB squawks for two full minutes.
This happens for months, those sirens just flying overhead blaring away. One day however, they went too far, when I got back home, there they were, all over the deck. Shitting, shitting for hours, everywhere. One hissed at me and beat its wings.
I went inside, careful not to spook the cursed beasts. I grabbed my shotgun, krept out a side door, low crawled around the corner, and took one of the oblivious bastards full in the side of its smug fucking face as it turned to look at me.
I outright killed two more before gaggle escaped, but I think I wounded a few more as well. My bloodlust only being fueled by these few kills. I began to wait for them fly over head before killing a few. They began to avoid my house, so I started keeping my gun and some shells in the trunk, so I can kill geese wherever they may darken the skies.
They also taste like shit, I burned the carcasses.
>>
>>34200538
>reasons
they want a business, not a dog. Once their dogo is able to reproduce they can make a deal out of it.

I mean, have you seen pugs or those other retarded faced tiny dogs? they have difficulty breathing for christs sake, cant even run properly, if you setted them loose in the wild they wouldnt fucking survive, not for lack of preparation but because their genes where artificially selected to be cutesy and shit... and those are the most expensive dogs.
>>
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Fpbp.

Notice that dogs, horses, cows, almost all working animals are bred from pack or herd animals.

>>34199451
>Panther
>Puma
The better question is which is better on a shirt?
>>
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>>34199504
>Get swarm of police bees sicked on you
>instinctively start to swat and crush them
>get 37 counts of Murder of a Peace Officer
>>
>>34201917
>>34199437
Damn it. Obviously I meant to reply to the fp.,
>>
>>34201108
>I wanna know what sarcasm is
>I want you to show me

Definitely the most autistic board next to mlp. Desu.
>>
>>34200134
We just have to make it so that they don't have such a strong instinct to chase after anything that's their ideal pray size.

>be 5
>be at the National Zoo
>can barely see over the wall into the cheetah enclosure
>am in a tour with my famalam
>tour guide asks me to run along the wall
>as soon as I start running, all of the cheetahs are right beside me, across the wall
>only then did I realize how important it was that the enclosure was sloped so heavily and below foot level at the wall
>>
>>34199779

Who wins in a fight between a wolverine and a honey badger?
>>
>>34199550
You mean a deer tiger?
>>
>>34202021
Was ay local zoo. Two black female panthers spending their days, lazily lounging beneath their makeshift plywood cat houses. Couple comes up with small child, they look, as soon as child turned to face parents, back to the cats, they were on her like files on shit. Cats attack you om behind with the element of surprise.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eNQazP-wdj4
>>
>>34200240
>smarter than dogs
>better noses than dogs
>muslims hate them more than dogs
Perfect.
>>
>>34202067
Girl wasn't attacked, sorry, I mean they were at the fence right behind her, ready to attack.
>>
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>>34202030

(I have no idea, but Wolverines are cooler)
>>
>>34199401
Because dogs have been bred for centuries to be the way they are. Nobody bothered with jungle cats because they were fuckall mean.

Some people do train tigers and such for show but they still treat them like wild animals.
>>
>>34200912
Nothing like a militarized waterfoul to crackdown on that rampant J-Walking.
>>
>>34200621
>Must reach maturity quickly
Nope, even the dumbest human still fails that.
>>
>>34202135
Wrong, retard. They co-evolved for millennia. We threw scraps to the friendly ones, and they would bark or go after anything that would have caught a primitive human unawares. This went on for millennia. Then some humans settled down and started farming, and those scraps included grains more and more. Therefore, the dogs that stuck around those groups of people evolved to have more copies of the gene that code for amylase, so they can digest starch and get more out of the grain scraps.
>>
>>34201925
You know how they say guns are designed to fail in the safest way possible?
>>
With genetic engineering in the pipeline, which do you want to have as your talking battle buddy with torso mounted laser gun in the future: cat or dog?
>>
>>34202281
Literally no one has ever said that.
>>
>>34202206
Eh, relatively it's pretty slow, yes, but I can wait

>pic completely unrelated, I just felt like posting an image because fuck you
>>
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>>34202303
>>34200621
>>
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>>34201664
>you will die before you get an AI doggo
i would have named him Tachikoma
>>
>>34202370
>The fact that it can do such demanding tasks as drive up hills, go on the highway, and potentially overtake another car are relevant enough that they are mentioned in the ad

This in 75 too, holy fuck. It's not like nobody knew how to make cars then, the GT500 came out almost a decade prior.

Although there are plenty of sports cars in the 90s that were making 130ish to the wheels so I guess it isn't that bad.
>>
>>34202446
>not Hachikoma
Missed opportunity really.
>>
>>34199451

adidas is better faggot
>>
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>>34202281
the AK in the pic exploded because of salted ammo that was meant for terrorists to use and not from the gun itself fucking up
>>
>>34202500
Thank you. The black smoke gave it away.
>>
>>34201262

>Beekeeper here
this is not a very common profession at fucking all and yet whenever bees come up there's a goddamn beekeeper on 4chan.

What the fuck draws you here. WHAT ARE YOU HIDING.
>>
>>34202529
The secret to pollination.
>>
>>34202529
I actually keep bees too.

Who the fuck knows really, I would guess neither is the cause, and both are just symptoms of something else. Whatever causes people to go on 4chan also coincides with the desire to keep bees.
>>
>>34202529
I think most beekeepers are hobbyists, not professionals. There are probably more beekeepers than you think.
>>
>>34199779
>Wolverines!
>>
>>34202529
My dad's a farmer and he keeps bees as a hobby. I don't think there are many professional beekeepers but a lot of people just have some.
>>
>>34202447
despite being pretty much the definition of a shitbox, I like the atheistics of the Pinto. My dad had a red one with a hole in the floor in front of the passenger seat he covered with a piece of plywood when he was a teenager.
>>
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>>34201262

>Am curious
>Begin reading about biological warfare to determine legality of weaponized bees
>learn that the Biological and Toxic Weapons Convention of 1972 only prohibits use of insects as a vector for a pathogen
>tfw is legal to weaponize africanized bees utilizing pheromones as a marker
>>
>>34202570
>>34202089
Beat you to it anon

if you didn't happen to see my post before you posted, it's pretty funny we had the same idea, probably just because Red Dawn is pretty much /k/-The Movie
>>
>>34202624
Yeah I didn't see yours before. I agree, it is pretty funny.
>>
>>34199565
LIGHTWEIGHT BABY
>>
Why aren't we genetically engineering police Aliens? Pretty sure they could kick the shit out of your cats and probably most criminals.
>>
>>34202674
I'd fuck a xenomorph

It's sad Giger is dead, what an amazing man
>>
>>34202694
>I'd fuck a xenomorph
Wasn't that the point? Didn't Giger say he wanted them to be erotic in an interview or something?
>>
>>34202512
That was actually a RAS-47.
>>
>>34199624
God damnit, Grif, what did I tell you about making up animals?!
>>
>>34202742
pretty sure, I remember some quote where Giger said when he was a kid/teen, he would jack off to watching pistons in his garage or something
>>
>>34199825
The Monroe High School Bear Cats?
If this is the school it was named after a local bear knuckle boxer who punched a dude so hard his eyeball fell out.
>>
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>>34201262
>africanized honeybees

KEEP

YOUR

NIGGER

BEES

AWAY

FROM

MINE
>>
>>34202821
Nope, the rival school was the Bonita Bear Cats
>>
>>34199676
Crocs are land, alligators are water

But yeah
#BuildAMoat
>>
>>34202820
>>
I find it interesting how many people in this thread seem to think the ability to learn and recognize behavioural cues in dogs is a sign of stupidity when it's actually the opposite. "Smart" animals are able to be trained to perform complex tasks, "dumb" animals do not recognize the links between action and reward.

This not to say cats cannot be trained and are "stupid" but they don't have the "intelligence" and social skills that dogs have had bred into them for thousands of years.
>>
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>>34202820
His art is pretty sexy.
>>
>>34201925
I didn't know glock made rifles now.
>>
>>34200240
>>34202086
ITT we discuss the development of police hogs.

Important traits to breed for:
>temperament
Docile, but not cowardly. Obedient.
>intelligence
The higher the better.
>snout
Breed for sniffing drugs, explosives, bodies, and missing people. Dunno if snout length has to do with anything.
>size
Definitely no bigger than 200lbs. Probably better to keep them at 150lbs tops, so it's not too hard to pay for their feed and for practicality.
>leanness
Lard is excess baggage for a police pig.
>feed efficiency
Keep it high for lower costs.
>coat
Relatively thick and dark to protect it from injury and sunburn. Shedding for the hotter seasons is an optimal trait.
>hardiness
Always good to keep vet costs down.
>motherliness
Good maternal instincts are always a plus.
>litter size
Keep toward the middle, but I think that this is often determined by size. I don't know.
>maturity
Actually better if they mature slowly. Immature animals learn better.
>longevity
Obviously, the longer that they can serve, the better.
>>
>>34202820
All I could find was this, which is hilariously bad. https://psmag.com/social-justice/horrible-philosophy-behind-star-alien-h-r-gigers-xenomorph-81641

Some excerpts.

>Giger's message was very clear: That thing between your legs is also an instrument of evil.
>To Giger, sex and birth could be pain and even kill.
Really, what the fuck is that sentence.
>It turned our own weapon against us, so to speak, and showed us the terror of what we do to each other and the creatures we torture and exploit every day as a matter of simple survival. It was a penis come to life, running amok in a ship full of dark corners.
>>
>>34202892
There's a Cracked article about Aliens that breaks down everything. It's all about rape. All of it.
>>
>>34202833
Does Bonita have sweet bear knuckle boxing and cranial fractures?
>>
>>34202861
This is totally true.
You have to remember though that catfags think that cats are perfect.
Muhhhh cat is duh best and toxoplasmosis isn't a thing. Duuuurrrrrr
>>
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>>34202892
>a penis come to life
>>
>>34202973
no, just a lot of mexican kids, which is every school here because
>California
>>
>>34203003
I'm not trying to shit on cats. I own both cats and dogs and love them both. It's just that trying to project human qualities onto animals is a pretty tenuous thing to do.
>>
>>34202886
Fat can be useful padding for vital organs and feed efficiency isn't really important, especially when you are breeding for smarts and making them smaller than the average hog. Feed costs are a fraction of what it actually costs to have police animals, training and pedigree is the biggest factor.
>>
>>34200912
Good thing I inherited a 10 gauge anti-honk from grandpa!
>>
Daily reminder that cats are leftist pets while dogs are rightist pets.

Daily reminder that cats will never win against dogs.
>>
>>34203179
I'd more put them on sides of good vs evil
dogs being good and cats being evil
>>
>>34203212
that said I love cats, but I mean, I'm also a sadist
>>
>>34203212
Really? That's a bit too far fetch even for me.
>>
>>34199463
>Tyrone laughs and walks away.
Until he gets pounced on and has the back of his neck torn open. Turning your back on a large predator is just asking to get fucked up. But yeah this plan is really fucking retarded. If for some reason we HAD to switch from police dogs to a wild alternative then we'd be better off with police hyenas and African painted dogs.
>>
>>34203383
What's wrong with police dogs again?

I hope you realize dogs are docile because the police don't want them to kill criminals.
>>
>>34203229
partly because the whole movie villain stroking his cat thing, but also because they'll scratch and bite you for pretty much no reason, while dogs are generally nice unless you scare them or piss them off
>>
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SWAT could employ Moose as Battering rams.

Cops could use Moose as car stoppers.

Mooseback Police force
>>
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DEPLOY THE ATTACK BEARS
>>
>>34199401
Dogs are specifically bred to be obedient and learn to do complex tasks, we domesticated them. Cats domesticated themselves, with the main benefit of doing so being that human settlement tends to draw rodents. Cats have not been evolved for obedience or specific tasks, they're only good for stalking and killing things.
>>
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>>34201831
"A magical place"
>>
>>34200162
Great movie
>>
Most felines in general are somewhat dumb. They mostly never evolved to work with other animals and hence lack the ability to interpret actions made by other animals. They're like sharks, just kill and eat. Social animals have more complex brains that in turn grant higher problem solving skills. Lions (which live in prides together) blow panthers, pumas, tigers and leopards out of the fucking water when it comes to puzzle solving, for instance. And Hyenas beat all of the above.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/earth/wildlife/9530134/Hyenas-are-as-bright-as-primates-research-shows.html

http://www.sciencemag.org/news/2016/04/good-social-skills-make-animals-smarter

The ability to understand what another animal wants you to do is essential when it comes to whether a creature can be trained or not. Panthers just don't have that ability.
>>
>>34203179
>cats are leftist pets
>rugged individual, survivors, kills shit for fun

>dogs are rightists pets
>cucked into obedience
>get scared by a swan
>so beta they attack in packs like niggs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfybKYTv8w0

lmao. rightists apparently BTFO
>>
>>34200444
Silly anon, Africans are not people.
>>
>>34203907
If I wasn't so sure niggers would abuse them becasue 'muh africa' domesticated hyenas would be pretty great.
>>
>>34200519
But anon, war elephants did catch on for a long time.
>>
>>34202886
Honestly your average feral hog already has most of those traits, except for temperament.
>>
>>34202865

these are the erotic fantasies of a techpriest

not gonna lie I got chubby
>>
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No, this is Patrick!
>>
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>>34202529
>>34202553
>>34202555
>>34202584
>>
>>34199556

And here comes the WIDF.

Wolves are dumb as fuck compared to dogs.
>>
>>34204000
I assume you know anon, but not all of Giger's art is all techy

And mods this is a piece of art, if you b& me for this I swear...
>>
>>34204332
Yeah, I mean, that's definitely not porn. Porn implies you can be aroused by it, and if you can be aroused by a bunch of muddy cocks being thrust into horse vaginas,(Seriously, that's some nasty puss) you need to seek some professional help. Also stay the fuck away from my children.
>>
>>34204348
Statistically somebody is
>>
>>34199735
THIS IS BULLSHIT
>>
>>34203934
A pack of dogs and wolves will kill any pack of felines.
>>
>>34199495
Some may prefer the term milf
>>
>>34204459
It depends on the size of each pack. Hyenas are so smart, they can count the number of distinct roars another pack makes and will only attack them if they determine that pack to have less members than its own.
>>
>>34204538
Milf means Mother I'd Like to Fuck. Cougars are older ladies that seek younger men.
>>
>>34204584
That's hyenas though, wolves are much more aggressive.
>>
>>34204586
They can overlap though, and often do
>>
>>34204587
That's probably because they've never had to deal with lions.
>>
>>34204599
Giggity.
>>
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someone call for police cat
>>
"Do not speak to me or my wife's cubs."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HB9RXjXoI7c
>>
>>34204671
That is absolutely disgusting. Good job.
>>
>>34204671
>>34204687
Kill yourself.
>>
>>34200085
Might as well use fucking velociraptors.
>>
>>34199463
more like

>open door
>cougar lays there, looks at you, then proceeds to lick itself

you'd have make sure all police sidearms have lasers to point at the suspect to ensure a takedown
>>
>>34199964
sounds like the best companion mate, be glad you shared your life with it.
>>
>>34199463
>>34204911

>Officer sprays Tyrone with concentrate Panther female sex
>Tyrone: Shieeet yo peppa spray is wack
>Unleash the Panther.
>>
>>34200185
True

us Aussies are taught of these cunts danger from a young age.

pro tip, never cross a nest of these fuckers
>>
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>>34199401
>Police Cats
>>
>>34199811
>hostage situations
>no-knock raids
Let the wolverines sort them out
>>
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Officer bunny
>>
>>34202500
>salted ammo
so it was an assalt weapon?
>>
>>34204459
Doubtful. Sending a pack of canines after a pride of lions is asking for the death of those dogs and wolves, especially is more than one male sits at the head of the pride. Just about every instance of hunting canines being sent after a lion has been when said lion was alone.
>>34204584
Hyenas are not canines, they have their own group.
>>34204587
That's because they don't live in nature's thunderdome, nor do they have the same level of intelligence as a hyena. It's easy to be aggressive when you only have to contend with two nonhuman predators and a handful of dangerous prey as an adult, it's a different story entirely when just about anything you piss off can and will put you in the dirt if you slip up.
>>
>>34199935
kek
>>
>>34199935
>turning bureks into blinnis
>>
>>34200139
That's it, I'll start my own private kangoroo security force
>>
>>34199495
You daft cunt, its a FAMAS
>>
>>34199401
You leave steve French out of this
>>
Can't train wild animals as well as domesticated ones that have been deliberately bred to be cooperative with humans. It would be way more expensive to keep and breed big cats, they're mostly solitary, and they simply don't have the stamina of dogs for tracking and pursuit. Also, with such a large and powerful animal it's very likely that they would kill the people they are supposed to incapacitate simply by mistake.
>>
>>34199671

I want to work my fingers into those cheek ruffs, give her scritchies, and tell her she's a good girl for mauling that dindu so it'll never walk again.
>>
>>34205257
Frig off, Bubbles.
>>
>>34205043

>sprayed with concentrated panther sex pheromones before the animal is released upon you

I have no idea how this is supposed to deter crime. Sounds like a good time to me!
>>
>>34199504
>hurl mason jars full of bees into a riot

Would the jar breaking kill the bees or enrage them? Jar is maybe half full if they settled
>>
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>>34205249
>>
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>>34199504

10/10
>>
>>34200621
Two centuries too late, anon.
>>
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>>34205309
I assume they would use the same sex pheromones as the gender of the panther and would thus drive it to attack the person who smelled like a competing mate. Otherwise this would happen.
>>
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>>34199561
But it wouldn't be fair to use a Cheetah!
>>
>>34205428
deer piss
>>
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>>34199624
>cat-o-mountain
>google'd
pic related
>>
>>34205338
Change bees to wasps and you've got yourself a perfect weapon.
>>
>>34205446
Carlooos!!
>>
>>34201647
That pic needs the panicked screeching changing to autistic screeching
>>
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>>34199779
Underrated filename
>>
>>34199478
actually, dogs are estimated to have higher intellectual capacity than cats. Being solitary and uncaring about others does not equal intelligence, contrary to what neocons and the alt-right would have you believe.
>>
>>34204671
More. For reasons.
>>
>>34205738
But the right-wingers love dogs.

They also love their family.
>>
>>34204655
>>34205206
Wolves deal with mountain lions and even bear though.

They play divide and conquer, their team spirit is much stronger than the felines.

A pack of feline is usually one male with a bunch of females, a pack of wolves include alpha wolf, beta wolf, they would outnumber and outsmart the felines.
>>
>>34206245
True, they've made the stick figure family decal industry a force to be reckoned with.
>>
>>34206294
Huh?
>>
>>34206265
>Wolves deal with mountain lions and even bear though.
Which are not pack animals.
>They play divide and conquer, their team spirit is much stronger than the felines.
Pulling things out of your ass is not a sound argument.
>A pack of feline is usually one male with a bunch of females, a pack of wolves include alpha wolf, beta wolf, they would outnumber and outsmart the felines.

>>Although extremely large prides, consisting of up over 30 individuals, have been observed, the average pride may consist of around fifteen lions; consisting of several adult females, up to four males (known as a coalition if more than one) and their cubs of both sexes

>>The gray wolf is a social animal, whose basic social unit consists of a mated pair, accompanied by the pair's adult offspring.[c] The average pack consists of a family of 5–11 animals (1–2 adults, 3–6 juveniles and 1–3 yearlings),[9] or sometimes two or three such families,[3] with exceptionally large packs consisting of 42 wolves being known.

If you're pitting up the average of 20 or so wolves against 15 lions, my money's on the lions.
>>
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>>34199401
In stralia they can use police kangaroos and they can box with the suspects. Apparently a kick to the chest from one will kill you.
>>
>>34203431
Hot many meese would it have taken to take out the kill dozer?
>>
>>34206265
yeah well a pack of wolves would never in a thousand years go after a pride of lions.
>>
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>>34200538
Mutts are the best dog
>>
>>34206306
>>34206390
If wolves can't do it, the bears will.
>>
>>34206317
>meese

Anon. Obviously the plural is "moosi" (pronounced moose-eye).
>>
>>34206614
There are documented cases of lion prides taking down elephants. What the hell do you think a single bear can do?
>>
>>34206631
Goddamn, are the lion really the best predators?
>>
>>34200456

that pupper is A E S T H E T I C
>>
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Fun fact: Puma/Cougar kill by gripping the neck with their jaw then using the paw to turn the head and snap the neck, causing paralysis first.
>>
>>34206315
there's some jewtubes vidya where a guy punches out a kanga for fuckin with his mutt
>>
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Shaved Bear for terror.
>>
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>>
>>34206723
Good kitty
>>
>>34199401
>I have a horrible and juvenile idea, why don't we do it?

It's a horrible and juvenile idea.
>>
>>34199401
i think they'd be put to better use for interrogation
>>
>>34199401
>untrainable lazy fat cowardly cunt beast
>wont even leave the police car
>>
>>34206636
All cats are amazing predators, from big to small. Of all of them, lions are likely the most lethal, but then again, they're pack hunters. Leopards do some pretty impressive shit, and they do it alone.

But what really is comparatively the most lethal killing machine is probably the stoat.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNbqvqf3-14
>>
>>34206636
they are probably the most fearsome in a way. big cats working together to hunt you that's a fucking nightmare. they are not very endurant tho. wolves can run anything to the ground. only humans are better in endurance hunting than wolves. it depends on the climate which species wins tho. if it's hot humans are the absolute best.
>>
If anyone has the time. This is based on a true story. About lions killing railroad workers.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=U8WL4TMq0fs
>>
>>34199508

>We spend thousands of years selectively breeding dogs
"Dogs can be trained!"
>Don't spend thousands of years on cats
"IMPOSSIBLE!"

A retard is you. Also I look forward to cybernetic uplifting of animals.
>>
>>34201548

So don't be mean to kitter, retard.
>>
>>34207779
I'm not mean to my kitters. I treat him better than i would treat you. Faggot.
>>
http://kxan.com/2017/06/09/declawed-cat-stops-attempted-burglar/
>>
>>34207225
Mustelids make terrible pets, though.
>>
>>34207575
It's based on a book, actually:

THE MAN-EATERS OF TSAVO
And Other East African Adventures
BY Lieut.-Col. J. H. Patterson, D.S.O.

It can be downloaded for free in various formats on gutenberg.org, for instance.
>>
>>34208334
I thought something similar actually happened though.
>>
>>34208354
Dude ... the book I referenced in my post is the true story you mentioned in your post - the one the movie with Val Kilmer is based on. Kilmer played Patterson in the movie.

The two lions (stuffed, of course) are still on display today, in some museum.
>>
>>34208392
Dude... You could just said the movie is based on a book, that is based on a true story. Dude.

Anyways, good story.
>>
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Tasmanian Devils are the way to go. Terrifying scream to demoralize criminals and you aren't going anywhere with one of these fuzzy little fuckers clamped on their ankle.
>>
>>34199401
I miss my cat.

But cats don't really take well to training. They are much more independent creatures. While mine would follow me around like a puppy, but the only trick he would do is beg. Either for food or petting.

Cats also like to sleep a lot. The most likely outcome of opening the back of that van is going to be a cat laying there asleep. Maybe cleaning itself, but probably sleeping.

Wasn't there a cartoon about this in the early 90s? SWATCats or something?
>>
>>34207752
Both species were around humans for a comparable about of time though. Doesn't the fact that our ancestors saw fit to domesticate dogs for work but not cats kind of stand for itself? Not to say cats aren't useful, but being superficially similar to dogs doesn't mean they'd make better work animals than something clearly not appropriate - no one would seriously suggest a police gazelle, for example.
>>
>>34205428
>straddling
...lewd.
>>
>>34208871
humans domesticated dogs cats domesticated humans and used humans to spread all over the world and prey upon 200000 species with our help and protection worldwide. i think we will even drag their furry ass to other planets to conquer and they don't even have to lift a claw to conquer the galaxy.
>>
>>34208680
>swat cats
Come to think of it, I remember hokes about milk, but none about sleeping. Did they use that gag? It does seem appropriate.
>>
>>34208915
Jokes, I mean.
>>
>>34208871

>police gazelle

That would be amazing if they could be trained. High speed foot pursuit ending in a headbutt. Police gazelle keeps the suspect down with more head butts until backup catches up. Gets rewarded with apples or something.
>>
>>34199847
Google what a "purebreed" dog is.
Modern dogs are all genetic, inbred freaks and as time goes on any "purebreed" anything will cease to exist because of a lack of genetic diversity.

And modern house cats' DNA hasn't changed in 50,000 years, the same time homosapiens started to exist. Coincidence? I think not.

The cat has domesticated the human.
>>
>>34199917
He was actually mindcontrolling you the entire time to be his manslave. But damn they're cute.
>>
>>34200456
>those tiny shoes
>he goes to chase someone down but walks all funny like every doggo with shoes on
>>
>>34200986
So any of them?
>>
File: Purge the Interloper.jpg (262KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]
Purge the Interloper.jpg
262KB, 640x480px
>>34208871
>>34208964
>playing Rimworld
>hunter is in a mobile suit and has an improved skeletal system and bionic legs
>insane reaction times and zips around so fast it's game breaking
>hoses gazelle herd down with minigun
>GAZELLE RAGE
>get sloppy and decide to take another shot
>cyborg gets mauled to death by the hordes
>>
File: Hardness 100%.png (44KB, 324x361px) Image search: [Google]
Hardness 100%.png
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>>34204671
>>
>>34199401
because they're not domesticated you FUCKING RETARD
>>
>>34199649
did the negroid died?
>>
>>34200184
I made it 39 seconds.
>>
>>34204332
that's disgusting.
>>
>>34207225
endurance predators are best predators.
>>
>>34201917
oooooh I get it

.... So we should train lions?
>>
Domesticate attack porcupines WHEN?
>>
>>34203907

>post Lions, a social animal
>"cats are less smart than social animals"

where do people like you fucking come from
>>
>>34206265
>Wolves deal with mountain lions and even bear though.

By ganging up like niggers.

Wolves don't dare fight Cougars unless they have at least 6-to-1 numbers because Cougars are fucking dangerous.

They routinely fight for territory, and while wolves need a whole pack to lock down a patch of land, Cougars usually have whole ranges to themselves.
>>
>>34208915
>>34208923

the major's assistant sleeps all saturday, that's all
>>
>>34199401
Cats won't listen to commands. Not because they don't understand them but because they don't care.
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