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/k/ Humour thread!

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 239
Thread images: 148

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Lighten up,make your fellow /k/ommandos laugh.
Share stories,green texts and anything /k/ related thats funny.

Laughter is the best medicine,so contribute what you have and have a good distraction from life for a little bit.
Ill start.
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>>34159342
it would be fucking terrifying if Miculek was your adversary.
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>>34159328
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>>34159328
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nothing can top hummel
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>>34159372
holy shit, my "cant fight from a sleeping bag" made it
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>>34159328
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>>34160423
Holy shit that's fake.
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>>34164488
>anon shows up literally the second the tab was getting closed
Checked, but I just saved it because it was posted in a thread long ago and it made me laugh.
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>>34162875
I want that musket.
>>
>>34164488
As one who lives in NY we get those types from NYC, Putnam, parts of Albany and Schenectady, and from Newark and Boston for the visitors. The story may not be exactly true but dumb shit like that is common with that shallow edge of the gene pool
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https://youtu.be/PYfUvW_3C3U
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>>34159328
Contributin'
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A classic.
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>>34165809
>Schenectady

Really? I live in Schenectady and I've run into very few people who exhibit these behaviors but I suppose it would probably be more prevalent in Albany of all places
>>
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>>34165948
Around the nicer suburbs where you get the medical and tech workers that can afford those wild property taxes. Albany is far worse for prevalence but your zone has its hotspots and unlike Albany the city council does listen to some constituents outside of NYC...... that their politics are similar sucks
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>>34159328
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>>34159355
Bitch could you at least close the ad and scroll up to get rid of the chrome bar
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>>34166325
It's a phone plebian, what do you expect?
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>>34166345
Muffled fuckoff we're full screeching in the distance
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>>34163955
newfag here, what kind of gun is that?
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>>34164099
I feel your happiness dubsbro, my Cheeki Breeki picture analysis made it
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>>34165938

>"Let's remind them of what they've forgotten."

my fucking sides
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>>34166424
some sort of ww1 anti-tank mostrosity, I would assume
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>>34159328
>mfw anon had second strike capabilities at age 9
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>>34166485
Isn't she a reporter or something?
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>>34166336
Cropping?
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>>34166424
Lokoks like a PTRD-41.

Russian anti-tank rifle designed in 1914, fired a 14.5×114mm round.

It was a pretty shit rifle desu. It was a single shot, massive rifle with poor penetration abilites. It looks cool though so there's that
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Story from probably one of the best /k/ meets I've ever been too.
>Be me
>Loose bet with friend he wouldn't get a lol decal on his car
>If he wins I have to wear maid cosplay to range and at meet
>He wins
>I wear pic related
>At the meet house
>Airbnb next door
>People there known to steal shit from our hosts cabin
>Long into first night there
>Slightly shitfaced
>Fuckit putting on maid cosplay
>Put it over top my track suit
>Put on balaclava and cute wig
>Step outside beer in one hand
>Standing under porch light with combat boots ready to go stand outside by fire
>Look up at Airbnb
>8/10 milf staring out window at me
>Make direct eye contact
>She slams blinds shut
>I nearly fall over laughing
>Contemplated the rest of the evening to go ask for sugar in best anime female voice

I love /k/ meets.
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>>34166684
But if you shot it at a soft target it was so powerful that even if you missed. The power of the bullet going by would blow it up .
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>>34166706
Yes, but it couldn't handle the job it was designed to do and it would be ineffecient to use it as an antipersonell weapon.

In the case referenced by the original screencap, on the other hand...
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I have a shitty computer so the dump will take awhile, but dumping
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>>34166763
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>>34166772
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>>34166783
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>>34166796
short dump, I gotta read and rename my greentexts so I don't repost or post something shitty and off topic, will be back
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oldie but goodie
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>>34166424
It's a FAMAS.
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>>34166485
>mawp intensifies
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not sure if this is pasta or not butt fuck it
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>>34165938
I can dream. I can hope.
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>>34159328
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dumping
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>>34164088
>I WILL DESTROY THE UNITED STATES
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>>34166485
what the fuck is going on here?
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>>34166705
Youre cute
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Dumping muh shit. In the mean time does anyone have the DOOP Marine greentext?
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>>34170948
fuck forgot to dump muh shit
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>>34170960
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>>34170977
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>>34170985
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>>34171007
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>>34167267
10/10
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>>34171028
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>>34171037
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>>34171053
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>>34171069
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>>34171079
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>>34171093
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>>34171113
damn, off by 2
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>>34171129
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>>34170960
Whatever happened to this artist?
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>>34171142
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>>34171145
No idea, he was /k/'s best drawfag though.
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>>34171183
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>>34171193
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>>34171204
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>>34171221
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>>34171231
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>>34171245
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>>34171255
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>>34171183
Yes, he was.
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>>34171264
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random one from my folder
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>>34159328
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>>34171273
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>>34171295
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>>34166706
>so powerful that even if you missed the power of the bullet going by would blow it up
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>>34171309
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>>34171318
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>>34171330
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>>34171340
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>>34171349
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>>34171364
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>>34166485
why bother with a helmet if thats your attempt at wearing it
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>>34171380
And I'm spent. Did we do good comrades?
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>>34171395
Saw some stuff I hadn't seen before and got more than a few chuckles. Well done
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>>34159328
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>>34159328

adding more
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>>34159328
>be me, 14 at time.
>camping at lake with scout troop
>"Hey, before lights out, lets go to the lake and check things out"
>Our entire patrol goes out to the lake, so about 6 kids at the time.
>stealth bomber patrol, cool B2 patch.
>"Hey check out these geese."
>Geese start honking, its pretty loud and we kinda weren't supposed to go away from camp.
>"Hey Anon, why the fuck are you carrying a taser?"
>Friendo runs up to lead goose, grabs it by neck and holds it up, its honking mad.
>That fucker zapped the goose with a fucking taser
>few more muffled honks, goose probably died.
>Threw it limp into the reeds.
>"Whoa guys, theirs a toad here."
>Had to convince friend not to zap the toad.
>Kept toad though, put it in his pocket and named it Skeeter.
>All of a sudden throws Skeeter back to the lake.
>Skeeter comes back. Literally hops back to Anon with said taser.
>"I didn't say you could come back, Skeeter."
>Throws the poor thing literally like 30 feet. Geese in area.
>Sees Goose run over to landing site and gobble something up.
>RIP Skeeter.
Part 1
>>
>>34159328
Part 2
>"K lets go back to camp, lets come back before breakfast though"
>Come morning time.
>"Hey guys check out this rat I found."
>This time its the rat patrol. The QM for the Rat patrol found a big ass fucking rat hiding in our cook ware boxes.
>"Hey, let me see that rat real quick."
>Pulls at taser, zaps the rat. Instantly dead.
>Fuck, what do we do? The rat dindu nuffin
>Anon 2 in b2 patrol. "I have an idea."
>Pulls out empty Snapple bottle he was carrying around for some god forsaken reason.
>Pulls out Glow stick.
>"Lets have a proper funeral tonight at the lake.
>Friend keeps rat in pocket until night when we go to lake, tard 2 hold onto "funeral materials"
>We all watched a rat in a bottle float of into the distance with a pink glowstick illuminating it. About 11 kids total watched this between the B2 and rat patrol. Rat Patrol QM literally getting emotional.
>A lot happened during that camp out. Not a lot made sense to me.
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>>34159328
>>
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>>34159328

That time Korea brought the bantz
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>>34171794
>>"I didn't say you could come back, Skeeter."
>>
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>>34171851

Oops, that's not on /k/. It was in my /k/ folder, nevermind. NEXT.
>>
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>>34159328
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>>34159328

that time /k/ ruined easter
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>>34159328

/k/ summons the ATF
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>>34171950
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>>34166796
>>
>>34171882
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>>
>>34172353
>Normie reaction to home invasion:
OH GOD SOMEBODY! PLEASE! HELP! I DON'T WANT ANY TROUBLE! JUST CALL THE POLICE!
>/k/ reaction to home invasion:
OH GOD SOMEBODY! PLEASE! HELP! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO KILL HIM WITH!
>>
>>34168507
This is amazing
I really need this to be a thing.
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>>34159328
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>>34159328

that time k went full baprap
>>
>>34164487
how is this /k/ related
go back to >>>/pol/ you faggot
>>
>>34166485
this was a reporter
>>
>>34166531
Yes, reporter.
>>
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Am I a memer now?
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>>34172822

LOL

Of course /k/ has already done it. Remember the guy who got a shotgun barrel stuck up his asshole? Pic related :D
>>
>>34171145
some fuckfaces here figured out his real identity and that spooked him away
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>>
>>34171093
I saw the thumbnail and though this was in Mars.
>>
>>34171278
post more from said folder, that's the highest quality pasta ive seen in a while
>>
File: KrissVector.png (335KB, 1128x1080px) Image search: [Google]
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huGO3aWPQls

RIP you crazy bastard you will be missed.
>>
>>34173321
Did he died
>>
>>34172587
i clicked the wrong file fuck
>>
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>>34173164
>>
>>34171183
Agreed
>>
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>>34159328
>>
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>>
>>
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>>
>>34166705
Haaaaay qt

You should have been inside on the couch with the rest of us ;)
>>
>>34159372
I was in that bread, im a millionaire now
>>
>>34166324
Oh hey, I wrote this a while back. Didn't think anybody was still posting the cap.
>>
>>34172947
>Gee thanks, fuckfaces
That's a shame. He truly was our best, I love those pics.
>>
File: images (1).jpg (12KB, 256x197px) Image search: [Google]
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>>34172460
>Be 12:35ish at night.
>Dindu nuffins heard hoopin and hollerin as they try to shimmy the door open.
>Your attack parrot sqawks loudly at You.
>ANON NIGGERS HAVE BREACHED THE PERIMETER!
>You launch out of bed and grab your trench coat that you bought off of the Matrix fansight.
>You run down the stairs to find the melanin enriched folk fumbling around your living room.
>They look up and see a 275lb man that's 5'7" wearing nothing but a trench coat and german m42 helmet.
>They gasp in awwww as you whip out your totally badass obrez pistols out of your trench coat.
>They also see your throbbing erection.
>You shoot and kill the two of the ooga boogas.
>They also light on fire from the glorious nugget fire ball of truth and honor.
>Third is left not only deaf, but also blinded.
>You majestically leap and open your trench coat like an eagle of freedom.
>Land chode first on last home invade and then ejaculate harder than you ever have before.
>You then tell /k/ your tale of badassery and is instantly called a faggot.
>Nobody on here will never understand how awesome it is do dragon fuck a home invade
>mfw this happens.
>>
File: Screenshot_2016-07-11-19-24-26.png (1MB, 1080x1920px) Image search: [Google]
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>>
>>34159372
Gonna need some more jpg. compression on that pic skipper
>>
>>34172353
>slightly stolen air jordans
Subtle kek
>>
>>34172822
witnessed this tred. it was fucked, i kekd.
>>
https://youtu.be/TS5AIVz0BLA

Dealing with Clowns 1966 vs 2016

Short and Sweet
>>
>>34171278
the fuck kinda drill sergeants have pistols?
>>
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>>
>>34165846
This made me giggle like bitches I work with
>>
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>>
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>>34171794
>>34171805
>>
>>34174267
That's because this is supposed to be a no fat zone, anon.
>>
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>>34171950
>ATF kicks down a tree
>>
File: design_a_house.jpg (2MB, 3762x3323px) Image search: [Google]
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>>
>>34169716
Honestly my favourite scene in the entire movie
>>
>>34171950
This made me laugh for the first time in weeks. Never change /k/.
>>
Anybody got the thread about the op's old army buddy and his trading for foreign milsurp?
>>
File: 20170606_184012.jpg (930KB, 1080x3207px) Image search: [Google]
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>>
>>34175023
you know.
the fake ones.
from the fake story.
that's totally real.
>>
>>
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>>34181284
>>
File: Wonder-Woman-Tank-Poster.jpg (206KB, 800x1186px) Image search: [Google]
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>>
>>34159372
Sides left orbit
>>
>>34185371
>WWI film
>T-28 In service: 1933–45
>>
File: makeHICKOKgreatagain.jpg (51KB, 453x171px) Image search: [Google]
makeHICKOKgreatagain.jpg
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>>34159328
>>
>>34164088
Oh god I need more I'm dying
>>
File: 20mmSuppressor.jpg~original.jpg (52KB, 1024x382px) Image search: [Google]
20mmSuppressor.jpg~original.jpg
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>>
>>34166485
>This makes the dick hard.
>>
>>34159328
Funny indeed,I dint even had toys growing up so made due with sticks and occasional small ball.
>>
>>34177263
>the black one that can't even get on the treadmill without help.
How do these people live?
>>
>>34177263
That webm became significantly worse when I learned its actually part of some fat fetishism porn.
>>
File: 1427198636421.jpg (26KB, 600x450px) Image search: [Google]
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>>34166772
>fucking larry
>>
>>34168507
>German agent only speaks German
>bus riders don't realize it because they just read the subtitles
>>
>>34168451
Holy shit I was capped. Does that mean I win at life?
>>
>>34159328
Those things are fucking deadly.

Had to learn how to patch wall after we put one through the drywall
>>
A fascist neo-Nazi Black Rifle owning NRA instructor was teaching a tactical course on the importance of shooting women and children.

“Before the course begins, you must get on your knees and worship Eugene Stoner and accept that he is the greatest weapons developer of all time, even greater than John M. Browning!”

At this moment, a brave, lever-gun wielding, hunter’s rights activist who had been on 1500 durr hunts in the Ozarks and understood the unchallenged superiority of the .30-30 Winchester cartridge stood up and held a Glock magazine.

“How many rounds does this hold?”

The fascist instructor smirked quite like James Eagan Holmes and smugly replied “17, you stupid Fudd!”

“But if most gun fights, as you say, follow the rule of threes… then isn’t a magazine of that capacity only good for the mass murder of the innocent?”
>>
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>>
>>34187095
The instructor was visibly shaken, and dropped his The Nutnfancy Project owl stickers. He stormed off the range crying those sham NRA tears. The same tears AR owning maniacs cry for the “law abiding gun owners” (who today exploit gun laws so loose that most can own bullet buttons) when they viciously try to shoot minorities and gays under the guise of self-defense. There is no doubt that our instructor wished he had supported reasonable gun restrictions instead of becoming a brainwashed NRA shill. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he had forsaken the stopping power of the .45 for the weak, unreliable 9mm that can’t even kill him!

The students applauded and all subscribed to Guns & Ammo that day and accepted JMB as the greatest arms designer that ever lived. An Eagle named “lever action” flew onto the range and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear onto a CA legal 10 round magazine. The Brady Bill was read several times, and William B. Ruger, Sr. himself showed up and enacted an assault weapons ban across the country.

The instructor lost his certification and was fired the next day. He died from shooting himself in the foot with a Glock Forty and was tossed into the smelter with his evil black assault weapons.
>>
>>34187134
So I read this and thought it wasn't funny because it's not but I also considered "hey maybe I'm just not in the right mindset. Let's see what my libshit college student sister thinks of it"

I sent it to her and she messaged me back asking it it was supposed to be funny.

You couldn't even make your target audience laugh.
>>
File: SUfx6[1].png (97KB, 1151x416px) Image search: [Google]
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>>34187316
Honestly, I thought as I posted "I wonder if enough people even remember the source pasta to find this funny?"
>>
>>34159372
That moment when 2 of your posts are on the screencap (Including a sleeping bag erected operator)
>>
>>34187123
All I can think of is F for Family
>>
File: 24352766.jpg (4MB, 9592x6632px) Image search: [Google]
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I wonder who owns it now
>>
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>>34185665
Czeched, but no idea. No fucking idea. I went full spaghetti when I got knocked off my snowmobile and felt some skin on my tit jiggle from the impact, I drove right back home and worked out ASAP.

>>34185680
Pic related is my face.
>>
>>34187394
Holy fuck, is that the original version of that pasta? It's been such a long time I can't even tell.
>>
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>>34171794
>>34171805
>>
>>34166772
>vin unleaded
>>
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>>34171950
>>
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r2LvqjP.png
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>>
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>>
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>wake up
>go to work
>wagecuck
>finish work
>come home
>look at guns
>masturbate
>cry
>go to sleep
>>
>>34174289

i dont know why this gets me
>>
>>34185506

too bad google doesent bring up much on the robbery itself
>>
File: Skinwalker1.png (4MB, 1000x4748px) Image search: [Google]
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>>34173164
Not same anon, but can dump spoopy texts ifn yall want
>>
Anyone have the pic that has a bunch of different guns and their meme names?
>>
>>34187905
Holy fuck, I was with that guy when he ran into the sergeant while wearing cosplay. That was absolutely hilarious.
>>
>>34193771
what?
>>
>>34193880
Bottom right of the screencap.
>>
File: IMG_0394.jpg (115KB, 684x625px) Image search: [Google]
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I have some mre related funnies.
>>
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>>
>>34175045
I was once doing a lecture on biotech but kept sperging out and kept referring to Okozaki as Shinozaki fragments
>>
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>>34172947
>>34174090
they also tried to say he died in a car accident and he came back to say that was bs
>>
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>>34171950
>>
>>34194476
Jesus christ this man is a poet. I cannot contain this retarded grin on my face.
>>
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>>34191085
>>
>>34191003
>They were fairly warned. They deserved everything that happened to them.
>>
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>>34194476
>>
>>34195994
Absolutely disgusting, frankly haram.

I laughed at the second and first panel though.
>>
File: 1468815254508.gif (3MB, 452x254px) Image search: [Google]
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>>
>>34198294
Welcome to the world of southpaws. Do you want to hear about the time I fired a friend's bullpup SKS without thinking?
>>
>>34198353
Only if you have pictures.
>>
>>34198353
How big was the dental bill?
>>
File: lasttea.jpg (90KB, 1024x419px) Image search: [Google]
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>>
>>34198373
Nope, not here. I don't even know where they went to be honest with you, I also had a copy of the x-ray too.

>>34198377
$4600 and some change.
>>
>>34166371
>straya day
>>
>>34171313
kek
>>
>>34187134
You're a child, its a play on a pasta, and it was fucking funny
>>
>>34166485
I know it's a reporter, but why is she crying? Did the noise upset her? The jacket looks thick enough to absorb the recoil. What is problem?
>>
>>34198738
She's virtue signaling that guns are scary and that only scary monsters would want one
>>
>>34187561
1, 2, 3, baby, 1, 2, 3.... baby
Thread posts: 239
Thread images: 148


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