fifteen female ninjas are coming to kill you in five hours. what do?

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>>34146482
Kill them first

I've got a pretty big cock so maybe one of them will be into it and I can buy myself some time.

>>34146482
Whats the cans situation? Apples? Oranges? Cantaloupes?

>>34146482
Take a nap. Rest my pimp hand.

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start posting with a tripcode

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>>34146482
>Oh boy, my women studies degree is going to pay off.
O'l bait and switch method. Huehuehue

>>34146482
Welcome sweet death

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>>34146482
Cut them down with my years of training in Gun Kata

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>>34146482
Release the ants.

>>34146482
>five hours

go somewhere else, tell the police, let them deal with it

>>34146482
Shoot them.

>>34146482
Ask them where they want to eat

>>34146482
On a large tree, I put a cleverly disguised dummy with a shirt that has cumstains, dragon dildoes, and buckets of cosmoline to bait their tracking scenes

They will climb up there and realize that I gave them the old Chechnia Dakimura trick I activate the explosives in the dummy, collapsing the tower in the process.

>>34146680
you decide

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>>34146705
Applebee's it is.

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>>34146482
>fifteen female ninjas are coming to kill you in five hours. what do?

There are no female ninjas so no one is coming. Females could also be of the same profession, but that would be called entirely differently.

So I sit behind my computer and watch more anime laughing at idiots who are too dumb to spend a minute with a dictionary.

>>34146521
Same here and I have had good success distracting women with it on various occasions, so that'd be the way I'd go. Pretend I was just getting out of the shower or something.

>>34146698
You dumbass, you trap and rape them and sire superior breed. Leave mommies well taken care of in the basement for pleasure when the urge to seed calls.

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>>34146482
i only have 2 condoms and 5 bullets so i suppose i'd have to knock the other ones up so they spare me

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>>34146785

>>34146482
Buy condoms and a speedo, marry the one that squirts. Become a mormon and marry all the ones that squirt if necessary. Then have all of them camwhore in shifts to support the household.

>>34146482
edge for 4 hours 59 minutes and 55 seconds

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>>34146482
*Blocks your path*

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Home Alone 6: The Quickening

>>34146757
Nah, I don't want Applebees.

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With cosmoline instead of lard.
Keep lard to lubricate

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>>34146862
*counter blocks your path*

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My body is ready

>>34146482
Break into the ambulance station, steal narcan and fentanyl.

Don my gas mask and rubberized body condom, gas the ninjettes with fentanyl, strip, restrain, and cavity search them, administer narcan, use low protein/amino acid deficient diet, addiction, sleep deprivation, isolation, cold, and physical discomfort to break them utterly.

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Kill the first 14 in honorable combat. Law of conservation of Ninjutsu is in effect so it should be rather easy. Defeat the final one after an extended duel, spare her life, let her follow me around demanding rematches, eventually seduce her.

>>34146492

To the tune of synthwave, fuck yeah.

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>>34147008
>reality versus a movie

But anyway

*walks though your path*

>>34146482
strip naked and down a whole bottle of viagra

>>34146482
Whip out the dick...

>>34147163
Why though?
Can't a good ninja just tactically insert right onto your zipped dick?

Traditional Ninja weapons? Get my shield and spear, stand in my hallway, have my gf shoot them with my crossbow while I sing Gregorian chants

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>>34147147
Reality is a movie. Didn't you know anon.

>Let's you continue walking through said path.

>>34146505
one of the coolest issues

girls hate each other, so in the intervening hours they'll start fighting about something petty and forget about me

Masturbate a few times before they get here so that I don't prematurely ejaculate when the first one pops out her titty.

>>34146482
Huff some drugs, doesn't matter what kind and fuck them all to death.

To
Death

>>34146892
Fine, how about Outback?

>>34148768
I'm with this guy

>>34146482
Hop up onto my bathroom sink and Jack off to my own butt in the mirror

>>34149061
i have a feeling thats somthing you do anyway anon

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>>34146482
>spend 30-50 minutes double checking the Anti ABC explosives I've installed in my house
>add a couple more because funsies
>adjust dead man switch to go off if heart rate drops below erection sustaining levels
>t-minus one minute
>lie naked and splayed across the bed
>sign on door "You go up if it goes down."
>mfw the door opens

>>34146482
Women are hilariously bad at most things so I'm not worried

>>34148778
I'm feeling like Pizza instead. But no olives, Anon. They're icky.

>>34147051
Never heard the amino acid protein thing. Lowers resistance to the other tortures?

It reads like you've considered this.

>>34147147
Jesus, Assad and the bald guy are effay as fuck.

Glue the toilet seat up

>>34146482
>>34146600
My boy.

>>34146482
Shower, shave shaft,
Double dose of Viagra

>>34146482
pop a bottle of viagra and wait at attention.

>>34149392
Low protein diets and diets that don't have complete amino-acid profiles reduce brain function, reduce physical recovery ability, increase the amount of sleep needed to feel rested, and reduce resistance to cold and the like.

It hurts your ability to stay focused, to resist mentally or physically, it hurts your ability to reason, it makes you feel pain or discomfort stronger and longer, it keeps you tired, and it makes you suggestible.

Once someone is broken (which can take under a week), the weakened mental state caused by the diet will also increase the vulnerability to the good feelings that the subject will feel for their captor as privileges such as "clothes", "flat surfaces large enough to lay on", "warmth", "hygiene", "sufficient food to feel full", "being allowed to sleep until rested", and "human contact" are slowly returned. Then, once their fuzzy little minds have accepted you as a benefactor figure, who they feel dependent on and grateful to, you can slowly wean them off of the drugs and improve their diet, and they should still stay devoted to you, even with the return of their faculties. They will view their previous loyalty as a mistake and largely avoid thinking about what lead to the episode of their mistreatment. Spies broken by the soviets often couldn't even recall being captured.

Needless to say, this is all greatly enhanced if you can avoid letting them see your face or hear your unaltered voice while you are in the "abuse stage".

While sex has been used in this sort of torture effectively, if your goal is a slave waifu, I'd avoid violent rape, and not go any further than snuggling to provide human closeness in the rebuilding stage. Sex during the torture stage can create a situation where sex is viewed as a punishment, and during the rebuilding stage can create a dependency on doing it the same way every time and at regular interval. If you wait until they are "back to normal" and exploit their devotion to you...
Cont

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>>34146482
Oh I know precisely what I'm gonna do

I would go to fedex and print out a "SAFE SPACE no violence or micro aggressions" sign. swing by Starbucks and go to the local feminist meeting. Head home post sign outside and go to watch msnbc and cry myself to sleep. They will see the sign and turn away.

lie naked with dick out.

>>34150161
then you should be able to create a relationship that's more or less normal, if perhaps unusual in it's devotion.

The mind diminishing effects of this diet are why all but the most diligent vegans seem so off, it's very hard to keep the brain at it's peak without eating meat or fish.

As for the 15 ninjas:

The ones that break first are worthless, they're getting disposed of via pig or perhaps left in an alley, dressed like a hooker, and strung out on smack. Same for the ugliest two of the last 5 to break. The best girl 3 will be totally domesticated, broken down until they experience almost total ego death, and rebuilt, body, mind, and soul, into sisterwife bodyguards. Keep pregnancies 48 months apart, staggered so there's only ever one pregnant or recovering at a time

>>34146482
>female

probably just take a 15 hour nap

>>34150161
>>34150328
do you have a single fact to back this up

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I live in Nevada. Take 'bout four mags and the AR, head to one of the Dry lake beds (the one with extra weird shit on it), and let the Slench take care of them.

>>34150378
Nothing that isn't behind a paywall. Most of the research on this was done by the soviets, you should look for papers written or translated in the mid 90s (when things started to come unglued during the Yeltsin era, that's when people would come to the consulate with a ream of Secret files and apply for a US visa).

Otherwise here's a couple abstracts on related topics (few people will do real research on breaking people, so the best research is going to be on what you can do to make people more resilient, just do the opposite).
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/3819875
http://advances.nutrition.org/content/3/3/322.full
https://draxe.com/protein-deficiency/

>>34150378
>>34150607
Aside from the abstracts listed above, it's also a pretty common way of creating servile populations in cults.

https://books.google.com/books?id=q6zqCQAAQBAJ&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_ge_summary_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=false

Page 157:
>.. The author, Richard Stellway, repeated a list of brainwashing techniques that included sleep deprivation, low-protein diets, and familial isolation..

>>34146785
>Hear me now, I summon thee: autists, weeaboos, and fedora tippers. Come defend your honor.

" Little bit of historical fact :


A female ninja is not automatically called a kunoichi.

A kunoichi, in actual definition, is anyone - male or female- who uses sex as their tool or cover for their assignment.

Often times, this meant a female to a male.. However, it could also mean a male to a male or a female to a female.

True, the term kunochi is a play on the strokes used to write the kanji for "woman"..but this refers not to the actual gender of the ninja, but to the "sexually submissive role"... which, as we know, is the "woman of the relationship" in a male dominated society.

So.. rather than thinking kunoichi means "a female ninja"... think that it means "the woman in the relationship".

Kunoichi is a jutsu, not a title..

kunoichi-no-jutsu is the actual term.

This is completely documented in the Bansenshukai, which is beyond contestation as a source of ninutsu knowledge... so I feel no impulse to defend this statement. I don't care what you read online or what your sensei says.. this definition comes DIRECTLY from the most comprehensive ninjutsu densho in existance... period."

Source: a gamefaqs board

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>>34150607
how...how do you know all this?

>>34146600
>Not combining Gunkata and CAR

>>34151023
Seconding this. That brainwashing thing sounds like something the old Insex crew would have wanted to try.

>>34151023
Research and fighting cults. You have to know the principles of bad brain washing to try and un-do it (because you aren't undoing anything, you're overwriting what was done).

I try not to play with brains any longer, because the temptation to sculpt a person to who I want instead of a close facsimile of who they were is very strong.

I identified with that dude who ambushed those teens in Minnesota, at least until the whole story came out (drugs for sex, etc), because I could see myself locking captured intruders in my basement and remaking them, if they fit the right profile.

10 Cloverfield Lane was an intensely frustrating movie for me.

>>34151231
lmoa

>>34146482
Lure them in and cast Explosion

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>>34150753
>a gamefaqs board

Oh, right. A board full of 12 year old weebs fresh off Naruto really know a lot about these things. Next you're going to tell me they pulled out their sacred honorable 'jisho' on 'reshiki' of Japan and found out that geisha means "A woman who is down to fuck fat horny teenagers," and since their word is the law, it is my duty as a human being to bring them to Japan and find them one of their own.

>>34146705
TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELL!

>>34152339
Hello Dexter

15 female ninjas. I would go to the beach and make a fireplace,make coffee on the fire and wait. When the women arrived I would stand up an bow, tell them that it is a honor to be wanted dead so badly that they'd be willing to pay more than the total sum value of of my worldly belongings to make it happen, then go down on my knee and offer them a clean hack at my neck while requesting that my body be lowered into the sea. I'd be grateful for an ending this honorable.

Assuming they would not use arson, hide in my bathtub with my mosin and ar -15 pointed at the door. Bet id get a good 7 or 8 of em before they tear the door down well enough to get any ninja tech in that could kill me.

>>34146482
nothing i don't believe in in ninjas and smurfs and crap like that.

>>34155329

I am curious. Why not believe in ninjas? Assassins and assassinations are integral to the entirety of human history. While the concept of sending out guys with swords is dated, the killing for power and money is eternal. Does it matter if they are trained under a different school and name today?

>>34155329
>I don't believe in historically documented people
It must be fun living in your fantasy land

>>34155396
ninjas are about as historically documented as witches angels and demons. we have extensive literature of these too even back to 15th century people wrote about them in a factual manner.

i'm not saying people can't dress in black pajamas and swing around short swords. i'm just saying it would not be more effective than a couple of blacks with baseball bats not one bit.

>>34155510
>ninjas are about as historically documented as witches angels and demons
You need to brush up on your history, anon.

>>34149147
thats like, really hot. where do i sign up?

>>34155542
well if you read some from actual military historians you will realize that "ninjas" largely thought as fiction because of the lack of documentation of their existence and also because their supposed model of operation was so alien to the times in japan they were supposed to be operated in that nobody would have used their "services" anyhow. basically claiming they existed is kinda like claiming aliens walked among us in the olden days. may or may not have actually happened but you can't handle it like facts like a retard.

also even the people that still want to believe in the existence of ninja organization will admit they would have operated more like any secret service which means the members tried to blend the fuck in dressing like peasants or merchants or even traveling entertainers. last thing they would have wanted to do is developing any unique techniques or appearance. there were spies and spooks in medieval japan and there were assassinations also (most of which is clearly not the work of any "ninjas").

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nothing, because they're wearing explosives

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>>34146492
>>34147142

[muffled carpenter brut playing in the distance]

>>34155589

What do you mean, alien mode of operation. The dojos were part of the temples where the monks studied and lived. Teaching discipline and skills. At some temples, the high priests found it useful to rent out some of their best and brightest on various missions for the benefit, in power or money or both, for the temple and for the priest and for the war lords and power factions they hailed to. You need not look further than modern religious factions and priests to see that the pattern of power grabbing continues, by what means are available. Just like the altar boy grabbing and the discrete accounting.

If they're smart, they're probably not going to even attack in five hours. They'll just keep waiting, and waiting, and waiting, until I stop thinking whatever tipped me off was a legitimate threat, and I have to go to work or get food or whatever, hiding out wherever they can until I'm the only person around and they've got a clear shot at me. Then one shoots me in the head with a suppressed pistol from inside the drop ceiling while all my co-workers are at lunch.

So the REAL solution is to find their base of operations and bomb it from 10000 feet overhead, and find whoever ordered the hit and make sure they die.

>>34150753
so, you're saying kunoichis could be traps?

>>34155707
>What do you mean, alien mode of operation.
mercenaries nobody used them in japan even ronins occasionally employed were either killed or integrated in a daimjos army. this killers/fighters for hire thing did not actually existed there.
>The dojos were part of the temples where the monks studied and lived.
you are confusing some serious shit there buddy.

>>34155968
he is saying that "ninjas" that took a dick in their ass or mouth were the "kunoichis".

>>34146680
kek

>>34146680
I don't care, anywhere really. I'm starving.

>>34156831

My brain hurts. Why are you comparing ninjas to mercenaries? They were owned, not employed, and did not get to pick their targets any more than a CIA or FSB employee get choices. You live in a modern world where radical imams get their special flunkies to do terror. Why is this unthinkable in old Japan?

>>34146482

Ask them where they want to eat , while they decide where they want to eat lay out a box of chocolates and ask them about there day. When I gain their trust I will use them against my enemy saying they cheated on the group with another group of female ninjas and they will kill them all with my help and I will make them into my harem wives.

>>34150701
HOL' UP, HOL' UP, SO YOU BE SAYIN'...
If we take down KFC and banisch poultry, crime in Chicago will go down because people will start listening to policemen?

>>34146482
await them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXPqlV-G3QU

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>>34155396
Kiss my ass, you short blue fuck, you're not a people.

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>>34146482
T-things and stuff... you know.

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>>34157983
>wearing any clothing except for a gasmask

>>34158078
>what are shoes

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>>34146482
Whip my dick out

>>34146649
This
Best post


Go watch Wonder Woman while the PD deals with it.

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>>34146482
Head to my local hardware store and rent a tentacle monster..

>>34146862
the expression of that one on the right

Viagra

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>>34146482
>fifteen female ninjas
Lock myself in my bastion and have the only key inside a tightly-closed jar of pickles.

I surf the internet for months living off my stockpiled food.

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>>34146482
>ninjas
>Some 'mediterranean' girl with track clothes.