Times you had to use a wepon

>>34139257
racist xenophobe, this why they commit crimes

>>34139257
I threw a rock at a classmate once, does that count?

>>34139257
Almost did once. Had a machete to this persons throat.

>>34139257
>upstanding AA gentleman inquires if your meth bite riddled "girlfriend" is available.
>call him a nigger
>gets jumped

wow wo weewaw, what a surprise

>>34139257
I should report you to the internet police for hate crime

>>34139257
wtf is that pic

>>34140040
OP and his "girlfriend"

>>34139257
>Whats that Vulcan child doing?

>saw a black guy
>shot him

>>34140090
God's work anon.

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>>34139257
You had one chance to make america great again but you fuck up with you pussy foot training.

Oh eric and kyle you dumb fucking dweebs... wrong school... Wrong fucking school!

>>34139438
You're next.

Never had to use a concealed weapon. Drew down on some iraqs though. That was... uneventful if I'm being honest.

>in afghanistan
>muslims take popshots
>got that thermal imaging
>dispatch said muslims
>repeat every day or so for months

>>34139257
does it have to be people im defending against?
I posted this on /out/ in a bear defense thread and all it is, is one faggot shilling hard for bear spray.

>Be me
>British Columbia
>Town way out in the boonies
>Circa 1991
>Black bear has been rooting around in garbage, scrapping claws on trees in yards, even killed someones dog
>generally being a fucking menace but mostly libs and hippies so noone has done anything about it yet.
>One road in and out of town
>one night some hippy bitch sees said bear on side of the road at dusk, stops in her '85 corolla to look at bear to take pics with disposable camera cause '91
>flash agitates bear, bear tries to flip car, pushes it into ditch and tries to tear a door off
>once car finds traction hippy bitch gets it in her head maybe bears are dangerous
>speeds off
>word spreads in town bear almost killed someone
>more pet deaths
>gets reported, mounties do fucking nothing.
>me and buddy go out to find bear and put it down.
>me with 870 loaded with 3in slugs, buddy with kalashnikov.
>took the stopper out of the tube for 2 more slugs, also illegal, but fuck it, bear.
>spend 2 days looking for the fucking thing
>split up to look better
>bad idea
>I end up finding bear, ~80 meters away
>bear stands starts snorting at me
>full adult, a full foot or more taller than I am
>fuck me
>Inforadozeninforapound.jpg
>chamber round and top off gun
>right as I line up a shot at heart the bear drop and charges
>miss
>Try to line up shots at collar bone as it charges, maybe get a heart shot
>bear stops literally 10ft away after dumping all my ammo
>pissed myself
>buddy runs out of the bushes
>bear is still wheezing, sans lower jaw
>finishes off bear.
>leave bear, we are both hippies as well and dont eat meat or like fur.

The shitty thing is we couldn't even tell anyone what we did because the cops would've fucked me for taking the tube out.

>>34140196
>in Iraq
>muslims guard the border
>sit back in vehicles overwatching border and Iraqi border patrol
>got them thermals
>IBP two man team in fighting postitions
>late at night
>two heat signatures become one
>repeat every day or so for months

>>34140196
Bless your soul

I almost had to chase a thieving hobo out of a store once with a bat.

>>34140256
>kalashnikov
>British Columbia

Pick one.

>>34140196
>>34140263
>Be holy jihadi
>Realize my brothers are getting picked off easy during the night.
>Setup snipers during day while American convoy comes through mountains.
>Take easy pot shots at all mounted gunners and dissapear for the rest of the day probably weeks.
>Hope you learn and never comeback.
>Still alive. Never found. While your fake CIA ISIS takes the credit.

>>34140256
>took the stopper out of the tube for 2 more slugs, also illegal
it's a bear not a bird

>>34140321
It was '91 man, kalashnikovs only got banned in '85 man, get you shit together, it was probably grandfathered in. He had a 30 rd mag with it too, and I always though that was the coolest.

>>34140376
>3in slugs

>>34140263
>two heat signatures become one

My sides

>>34140383
okidokie old man.

>>34140256
>male black bear
>menacing/charging for no reason
You would be lying on the internet would you anon?

>>34140451
Bears are like people, most are pussies but every now and again you get assholes that need to be dealt with. Why would I lie about this? Have you ever been around bears in the north?
>>34140416
still better than being shilled at about how I shouldve used bear spray and relocated the bear and not killed it.

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>be me, 9 yr old at the time
>want to watch tv, but can't watch what I want
>be older bro, been watching tv since the AM, hogging that shit
>say I want to watch something else
>bro says no
>get up and change channel anyways
>feel something solid hit me square in the side
>wince a little and look down
>it's a Play Skool Knight toy
>wtf
>get hit again and again, plastic knights hitting me all over
>retreat to other side of room
>arm myself with ninja turtles and Legos
>take careful aim with my heroic turtles and land a few shots
>whipping handfuls of legos in nice tight groupings keeping him suppressed
>he get's mad and busts out the big guns
>eyes off the battlefield as I search for bigger weapons after depleting my turtle reserves
>BOOM
>the Play Skool Knight's Castle crashes into the wall behind me
>look up just in time to see him readying an all metal Tonka Dump Truck
>Oh Fugg, he's gone nuclear
>take cover as this metal monstrosity is sent flying
>Mom get's home just in time to hear the Tonka Toughness crash into the walls
>Older bro get's grounded for hogging the tv and starting a toy war over it
>Get to watch whatever I want until supper time
>Turn up volume so big bro can hear from his bedroom, rubbing my victory in his face

>In BikeRaQ
>take several tires to the nuts
>pull my pumpaction
>pump up those tires

>>34140451
Not him and not that I believe him but TBQH I've heard a few times that while the overwhelming majority of black bears are pussies that one percent is actually more likely to kill/eat/predate humans than the brown bears who attack people. They can be surprisingly mean critters once they figure out just how edible humans are.

>>34139768
some kid threw a rock at my head in middle school once

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>>34140846
I laughed/10

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>>34139257
>Be central Wisconsin new years eve 2013
>with best friend who also rents the upper half of my duplex
>her "ex comes over but she wants none to do with him, doors locked tries to let himself in
>i step out on back balcony and ask him to leave
>physically and verbally threatens me with all 6'5" 300lbs of himself
>i draw my .380 and ask him to fuck off
>20 minutes later swat shows up with a phone call from police chief saying he wants to talk.
>15 guns pointed at me as i come out the front door. walk backwards hands on head in a hoodie and flipflops half a block down the street.
>nuts frozen
>they laugh at my story
>get charged with "disorderly conduct with a motor vehicle"
>mfw he called the cops on me for drawing a firearm in self defense on my own property.
>be 2AM after all is settled. Bang renter because "anon thats the manliest shit ive ever seen"
i should have just shot him. Swat was nice though and lit me a smoke while i was cuffed for "detainment" so i puffed and froze while i gave half a statement and a couple laughs before going into a cozy cruiser for the next couple hours.

>>34140846
top kek i miss my bro. i should spend more time with him.

>be at anti-Trump rally
>marching peacefully with my fellow patriots
>oh look here they are
>the group of a bunch of autistic trump supporters wearing pepe shirts and MAGA hats
>calling us communists, and waving signs with literal cartoon memes on them around
>they look like literal children
>anyway, they start screaming shit and throwing stuff
>all of a sudden the police come and break it up, and tell everyone to disperse
>decide to just go home since the autists decided to not let people exercise free speech today
>as I'm walking back to my prius, 3 or 4 guys wearing masks and trump hats come up to me and start asking all kinds of questions and calling me a cuck
>I tell them to fuck off, but being socially inept manchildren, they have no idea how to behave in public
>they keep following me and keep trying to block my path
>we end up in a little shouting match, then they start pushing me
>I decide enough is enough and pull my ccw and aim it at the tallest guy, center mass
>their eyes bug out of their greasy faces and they take off running back to the main group the opposite direction
>as I get to my car, a cruiser pulls up and a cop asks me what happened
>I just tell him they were harassing me and not letting me get to my car, he just seems annoyed, probably because he has to babysit these basement dwellers all day

>>34142959
I'll take things that never happened for 200, Alex.

>sage

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>>34142959

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>>34142959
>my prius
>block my path
okay just stop

>>34140952
some faggot human threw me at some queer's head once.

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>>34139257
Not really a weapons story but more of a martial arts story

>be me, about 11
>have a real shit of a little brother, always hitting me and shit when no one was looking

this story isn't about that though

this is a story of the one time I had the cockrocks to be the bully myself for once

>he was playing n64
>I wanted to play but it wasn't my turn yet
>after some back and forth i begin to grapple with him for control of the controller
>eventually gain the upper hand and pin him
>grab his face in both hands
>sit on his face
>wiggle a bit to seat his nose better in my buttcrack
>release a mediocre-class fart directly into his nostrils
>he cries
>I got a spanking and did not get to play n64
>still totally worth it

I guess it wasn't a martial arts story so much as a martial farts story

>>34143010
no shit it's a joke post you goon

>>34139257
>working ca
>at the risk of being too specific let's just call it public utilities work
>most of the crew is not from cuckifornia, the only calicucks working with us are the ones the local unions managed to bully into our ranks
>actual diversity in the crew, not a skittles grab bag of skin colors but from all across the country and all different backgrounds
>working in a real "diverse" neighborhood
>local wildlife is pissed off because we are disrupting their cash flow
>easy enough for some vice cop or whatever to show up in jeans and vis and hold a shovel i guess
>have an actual cop assigned full time to our crew 9-5 because this hood is just that bad we hear
>we're working 10s minimum so that faggot isn't even there half the time were working
>shit getting stolen every night despite a fenced off yard a block away with rotating security
>catching shit eye all day as untermensch commune with the local filth
>we know what's going on, we don't really care, we get paid well enough to do our job and do it fast
>one day, a few saunter out of each house on the row
>almost synchronized like they can tell time
>they stare at the job site as the cop leaves
>he sees, doesn't care, he doesn't even get paid as much as we do
>things get quiet like a wild west show down
>were the only ones on our side of the street
>they're the only ones on their side of the street
>most of the crew casually wander back toward their vehicles
>nearly every truck has a handgun and a machete in it
>anyone who drives their own vehicle is standing within arms reach of a handgun or holding it at this point
>the laborers are quietly pulling machetes out of the trucks they are working off or lowering themselves with the nearest handy implement in the nearest trench or hole
>the flaggers are the only ones still in position and they are visibly shitting bricks
>finally a diplomat or leader steps into the street and waits
>the foreman walks out and speaks with him for a few minutes

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>>34143917

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>>34143010
>taking that story seriously

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>>34144338
>eerie and tense minutes later he returns, then turns to face the man in the middle of the street
>simultaneously all the nogs casually retreat to their warrens while holding their pants up
>a weary sigh of relief all around and arms audibly being holstered all around
>day called short and everyone is invited to the bar near where most of the crew is staying
>nothing is stolen for the rest of the job except the shit we steal from ourselves
>foreman promised not to interfere with their business, had no interesting in doing so, and explained that the sooner we were out of there the sooner our cop buddy was
>funny enough a couple weeks later their leader fellow came out and warned us a feud was on
>and that we maybe shouldn't be there for a day or so
>foreman called the job onto standby a couple days due to high temperature
>everything is quiet, respectful and good until the very end of the job

>when a couple mongol cunts decided to crash our bar
>probably figuring they could pick on a few easy drunk tourists
>but got their asses gang beaten by damn near the entire bar and swore they'd come back to murder us with machine guns
>job was over before next weekend and all but the bravest had planned to split town anyway during the week
fuck california and the ivory towers you permit your rulers to live in

closest i've ever come to using a gun. beyond that, on a couple rare occasions i have fanned or drawn at late night to encourage shit fucks who didn't respond to verbal queries to quit following me to my vehicle and take the long way.