/k/, let's intercept a Tu-95!

>>34095167
How would you know where to intercept the tu-95 in the first place? Sounds like fun otherwise.

so we need
>uber richfag with a leerjet
>someone who can speak russian AND english
>a bunch of big guys

>>34095223
Need an inside man at an ATC in Alaska

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Don't forget that the Tu-95 has a tail gun.
The bear has claws so messing with it may not be the best idea.

>>34095354
That's why he said don't approach from the rear

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>>34095354
>Intercept TU-95 in Learjet
>Russians shoot down Learjet (They expect one of us in the wreckage, brother)
>US Fighter Pilots blow up TU-95 in Retaliation
>World War III Begins
FUND IT

>>34095167

>and pressed hams out the window.

This is /k/. We'd be pressing pickle for Putin. Ya know, squashing sausage.

Then again, someone from /pol/ would come along and we'd have "Hitler did nothing wrong" spray painted across the fuselage.

>>34095167
Global Rule #2: You will immediately cease and not continue to access the site if you are under the age of 18.

>>34095401
I think the crews carry cameras to film any occurrences. There's some videos from their perspective during flights. They would be able to show someone harassing them and NORAD would be seeing it on radar.
Plus I don't see how you can approach from anywhere but the rear, going head on you're looking at a near 1,000mph convergence speed and you'd still end up in their rear gun arc after you flew by.

>>34095491
You stay above them, higher operational altitude. Decrease speed until they're close then descend.

>>34095401
The Soviets shot down an entire airliner full of people and got off with nothing more than international condemnation and finger wagging. Shooting down a Learjet full of retards chasing a military aircraft would easily be celebrated as the Russians preventing another 9/11 or Pentagon attack, not cause for military aggression, and certainly not escalation towards WWIII in any significant manner.

>>34095727
007 was a farce and everyone knew it

truly the definition of a soviet victory

>>34095167
One person joins on the Bear from the beam, the other person is behind the Bear with AIM-120 locked in case he decides to be a dildozer.

Intercept. Escort.

>>34095167
It would be very hard because TU95 can fire it's missiles from Russia's airspace and still hit smth in America.

>>34095239

All pilots have to know English.

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>>34095167
>Bunch of /k/ommando on civilian plane close in to Tu-95
> - Ivan, are we in danger?
> - No, Sergei, just watch
> civilian plane is closing
> /k/ommandos inside get a permanent hearing damage
> Ivan and Sergei are looking on how panicked retards are losing control and crush

>>34095167
>Freaking propellers
Jet engines actually, turboprops arent sorcery.

Isn't it a cruise missile carrier?

>>34095167
>Don't approach from the rear (guns)
All they have to do is turn away from you and you're as good as dead. Remember, this isn't 1944 - these guns are radar-controlled and will fuck you up from a mile or two away, easy.

>>34095354
>implying that other numerous bombers with tail gun didn't get their ass shot down from behind.

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>>34096720
23mm. We would not have a good time.

>>34095223
Need 2 ears and clear sky, can be heard from 200 miles away.

>>34095354
I thought the tail gun was mostly used for firing countermeasures?

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>/k/ autists intercept the bear
>troll them a bit while flying next to them
>suddenly 2 SU27 show up next to us forcing us to follow them
>they guide us into russian airspace
>land and all get arrested for various things we had no idea about
>get all sentenced to 40 years in the Black Dolphin

>>34098114
I bet the borscht is good

>autismos harass russians
>get bored after an hour and go home
>men in black suits waiting at the airport
>/k/ommandos get subjected to hours of close questioning
>charged with felony
>lose all gun rights
>doesn't matter since none of them owned guns anyway

>>34095167
You can easily modify a Cessna Citation to fire 2-4 AIM9P5's.

Dont pussyfoot around, shoot the mother fucker down.

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>>34098146
the soup is stored and made in the same container that is used to mop the floor.

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>>34098206
>starting a war because you felt like it

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>>34096720
This is exactly what I was thinking.
What is stopping them from just turning their guns at you when you approach?
Even if you have a jet that is 200 mph faster than it (I can't find anything that would cost less than tens of millions), and the tail gun could only could shoot 1 mile, you would have probably about 15 to 30 seconds to get to it.
That sounds like a long ass time to hope this thing doesn't turn.

You could probably fuck with them just at the edge of gun range, but its a risk trying to get closer.

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>>34095474
>>34096426
>>34098114
>anyone wanting to give Russians a hard time is either an 8th grader or a retard or a retarded 8th grader

What's it like getting up in the morning and being a shill for Russia?

>>34098183
So what would they charge us with?

>>34098114
>Su 27k has air 2 air refueling capability
>5-4-17 intercept had escorts

There's the escort. AK is in range without refueling, CA isn't. That might be a problem. Note i am going to ignore requests to follow them. Bring along a Spanish speaking /k/ommando to answer the radio and play dumb. "No hablo ruso!" "Quit laughing, ese, he's going to hear you!" Also LOL at coal burning aircraft carrier.

>>34098206
Intriguing, if true. Source?
>>34095223
Mount one of these at Point Hope, AK, until we can beg/borrow/steal some radar

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>>34098641
>What's it like getting up in the morning and being a shill for Russia?
How am I a shill?
just saying we got no chance against the russians in a shitty modified civilian aircraft.

and should they catch us prison is what most likely awaits all of us after this international "incident".

they also got cameras on board and will instantly videotape you if you should try something funny, then release the tape and wash their hands in innocence while your skeleton rotts in prison or under the sea.

What would win?
>1 TU-95
>10 million mosquitos

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>>34098718
TU95 with Tsar bomba

>>34098718

LOL, no.

>Be Bear crewman
>flying in the stratosphere
>searching the skies for F-15s, catch a black cloud in the distance
>By Lenin's goatee, what is that??
>cloud gets closer, it's not a gas or vapor
>oh shit, it's bugs! millions of em!
>Bear flys through at 450 knots
>millions of mosquitos smash against the cockpit
>windows now covered in black paste
>luckily, pilots instrument trained
>unluckily, ancient TU-95 is full of gaps, thousands of mosquitos get in
>mosquitos smell flesh and fear, they attack relentlessly until they find skin, and bite
>you now have miliaria
>after landing, briefed by squadron commander as to why you failed to repel boarders
>sent to syberia to live out your remaining frozen, miliaria-fill days

Bear wins indeed.

>>34095167
>>34098641
youre a fucking dweeb

>>34095403
Why not Steamed Hams?

>>34098702
>How am I a shill?
>just saying we got no chance against the russians in a shitty modified civilian aircraft.

This is turning into /pol/ but if an American civilian can buy a plane and equipment that can allow them to intercept (not shoot down, mind) Russia's primary intercontinental bomber, that indicates a deficiency on Russia's part. What if it was the other way around, a Russian decides he's going to meet a B-52 and it's escorts, or a USAF/USN electronic surveillance plane? That may not be possible. Tech? Money? He's going to get tossed in Black Dolphin? I'd salute Ivan for trying, but stick him the finger if it turns out he bribed military people to loan him aircraft/crew/equipment or was playing the "Ukrainian Separatists" game.

>But muh Tu-160!
They only have 16, and i am waiting for one to fly apart in the sky.

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>>34099056
>but if an American civilian can buy a plane and equipment that can allow them to intercept (not shoot down, mind)
then whats the fucking point?
also how would you even locate it?

>"we jus get an insider at NORAD hurr durr"
dumbest fucking shit I read this month

>Russia's primary intercontinental bomber
its mostly used for Cruise Missiles nowadays and you can bet your ass they will shit them all out long before your interceptors are anywhere close to it.

>What if it was the other way around, a Russian decides he's going to meet a B-52 and it's escorts, or a USAF/USN electronic surveillance plane?
pretty sure that doing dangerous maneuvers (doesn't matter if to east or west), leaving your flight path going against ATC and bringing military operations into danger will result in loss of license and possible prison time

>but stick him the finger if it turns out he bribed military people to loan him aircraft/crew/equipment or was playing the "Ukrainian Separatists" game.
the fuck are you even trying to say? you got a stroke while typing or what?

>They only have 16
which is still around 192 nuclear cruise missiles that are low flying and hard to intercept

>>34095167
you realize that this is the reason these kinds of airplanes have fighter escorts, right?

>>34098295
Dude just surpass them flying above and then descend to their level.

>>34098828
>have miliaria
oh i think we al have militaria

>>34096726
Not by fucking Learjets they didn't.

>>34095167
Wake separation requirements behind a Tu-95 at take off and landing at 6 nautical miles for a Learjet 70. I know wake is less of a problem in flight, any pilots know how close behind you could fly to this thing around 35,000 ft?

>>34098114
Getting intercepted in international airspace has no legal bearing, you could just not fly to Russia and there's nothing anybody could legally do about it. You can't get "forced" to follow them if you're not in their airspace. If they decide to shoot you down they'd have to prove that you were in their airspace and rejecting their interception, else the international community would waggle their finger at those silly Russians again.

On the other hand, if the flight plan you filed with the agency just lists a departure you could theoretically have a hard time getting back in to the United States.

>>34099479
not all the way to US airspace