[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | Free Show | Home]

>you are with your girlfriend at the bar when suddenly this

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 57
Thread images: 15

>you are with your girlfriend at the bar when suddenly this seven foot tall muscled motherfucker comes in, makes way with his poleaxe, walks up to you and grabs your girlfriend and pushes her off the chair, grabs you by the arm and drags your ass out of the bar and into a nearby church, pushes you down onto the bench, slams a bible in your hands and demands you to pray to god to forgive your sins and to accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior.

What would /k/ do?
>>
>>34016432
hey as long as I aint gotta be a jew
>>
>>34016432
I explain that I already did, and then proceed to go on a crusade with him.
>>
>>34016432
Try to do as he demands snd afterwards just let him give my girlfriend the law because I'm now his little Jehovah's witnesses bitch now.
>>
>>34016432
Ask him why he's making me go to church on a saturday. Also this >>34016459
>>
Sage his his ass and tell him to take that shit too /qst/
>>
>>34016484
GOOD CHRISTIANS ALWAYS GO TO CHURCH REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
Open up with a massive spiked caligae kick to his chest, followed up by a sucker punch.

Repeat?
>>
>>34016493
>talking shit about a lawbringer
>>
>>34016499
That face looks like he seen some shit in his life.
>>
>>34016484
>doesn't enjoy church
Even a hardline atheist would enjoy church if he found the right one.

From a historical perspective, if you cross reference the Bible (see what I did there?) with secular/Jewish historians, you find that a lot of uncanny crap just lines up and there are interesting historical accounts of campaigns that don't really have good records outside of the Bible.
>>
>>34016505
Lawbringer confirmed for darth vader of the knights
>>
File: alex-de-andreis-cavalier-in-red.jpg (33KB, 308x380px) Image search: [Google]
alex-de-andreis-cavalier-in-red.jpg
33KB, 308x380px
>>34016432

The founding fathers gave us the the privilege of using muskets in the bill of privileges just for this scenario.
>>
>>34016432
This may sound stupid but what if the lawbringer was German?

What would happen?
>>
File: Varg church.jpg (33KB, 480x480px) Image search: [Google]
Varg church.jpg
33KB, 480x480px
Shoot him, loot his polearm, burn the church, eat a baby, plow my girlfriend, hail gods of war.
>>
>>34016702
When the 14th post is the best post.
>>
>>34016515
I've had fun in church and I'm a atheist, I just don't believe it. I've had fun popping peyote while hanging out with Navajo.
>>
>>34016702
>>34016714
>replying to yourself because no one wants to acknowledge your 13 year old tier edgy post
>>
>>34016702
Go full Ragnar on their asses.
>>
>>34016432

Tell him I've got issues man and have trouble moderating spending time to the big G.
>>
>>34016432

Go engage full Peacekeeper revenge zone attack spam mode
>>
File: IMG_5751.jpg (58KB, 400x283px) Image search: [Google]
IMG_5751.jpg
58KB, 400x283px
>>34016432
Shoot him with a handy wall compound bow and while he is trying to pull the arrow out of his lower femur I will put 15 rounds of 10mm in his visor. At this point I would pull out my backup and throw a jar of piss at him. If he is still alive I would stab him with a medium sized knife and steal his hat.
>>
File: Apollyion12.jpg (608KB, 1184x1600px) Image search: [Google]
Apollyion12.jpg
608KB, 1184x1600px
>>34016810
Ya good luck when apollyon shows up
>>
File: IMG_5752.jpg (81KB, 500x375px) Image search: [Google]
IMG_5752.jpg
81KB, 500x375px
>>34016835
Are you implying that any medeval armor can stand up to both10mm auto and mason jars filled with kangaroo piss?
>>
>>34016835
Apollyon confirmed for lawbringer's waifu
>>
File: LongassDagger.jpg (48KB, 1835x888px) Image search: [Google]
LongassDagger.jpg
48KB, 1835x888px
>>34016865
She doesn't even care about beeing stabbed with a dagger I doubt she will care about yo "medium sized knife" she's a fokin beast
>>
>>34016868
What would their baby look like?
>>
>>34016450
This
>>
>>34016432
Cast magic missile at his face.
>>
>>34017079
An even more badass lawbringer that has the brutality and warmind of apollyon and the strength and power of the lawbringer
>>
>>34017207
Or the manchild conqueror that has autism
>>
>>34016450
fpbp
>>
>>34016499
Rip stamina
>>
>DEUS VULT
>>
File: IMG_3249.jpg (63KB, 800x554px) Image search: [Google]
IMG_3249.jpg
63KB, 800x554px
>>34016952
Good job ignoring my last post entirely. You must be a /v/atnik. Does this bitch have some sort of super power that makes 10mm auto to the head feel like raindrops? Is she a chaos pretty marine in disguise? An actual motherfucking demon? Not to mention that unless her armor is watertight she will be soaked in roo piss as she dies.
>>
>>34016515
I didn't say I didn't enjoy it. I said I'd ask why I'm going on a Saturday when the modern tradition is Sunday attendance.
>>
File: DeusVultIntensifies.jpg (27KB, 326x326px) Image search: [Google]
DeusVultIntensifies.jpg
27KB, 326x326px
>>34017868
>>
>>34018089
>Dramas over joke
>calls them /v/atnik
>wants to be taken seriously

well played
>>
>>34016432
i applaud his efforts but i am already Christian, thus making his efforts all for naught
>>
>>34016432
pray to god to forgive my sins and to accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior.
>>
So realisticly speaking how heavy would all that armor and such be exactly?

And how much muscles would you need to be able to hold all of that up?
>>
>>34018944
hardly guessing and based on other armors i'd say somewhere between 50-75Kg
>>
File: tmp_29939-WNH3aYd_d391839782.jpg (87KB, 640x1040px) Image search: [Google]
tmp_29939-WNH3aYd_d391839782.jpg
87KB, 640x1040px
>>34018944
This is what the ingame model looks like
>>
>>34016432
Ask if they can go on a crusade after this.
>>
Draw a pocket derringer and fire one 22lr into his helmet. The ensuing ricochets will scramble his brains. Then steal his stuff and vendor it for 5 gold doubloons.
>>
>>34018856
Time to go on a glorious crusade to rid the holy land of saracens
>>
File: teuton.jpg (152KB, 520x800px) Image search: [Google]
teuton.jpg
152KB, 520x800px
>>34016432
>you are praying to your sun god when this guy walks up and slaps the pagan idol right out of your hand and makes your village convert to christianity
what do you do
>>
>>34018944
for a 7ft tall guy, maybe in the ballpark of ~80lbs but probably less. your average kit would be around 45-60.
>>34018974
>hurr 165lbs of armor
go be retarded somewhere else
>>
>>34019282
No
>>
>>34016432
the bartender is armed to protect his business, so that asshole has seven bullets in his chest by the time he gets to the bar.
>>
>>34016515
I am a hardline atheist. But I'm also a card carrying art historian and i fucking LOVE Catholic churches. Protestant churches suck though. Hagia Sophia, St Peter's Basillica. Even mosques and hindu temples are rad as fuck. Understanding liturgical processes and their spacial relationships with the architecture is fucking rad. Seeing a true Gregorian chant in latin basked in lux nova is the tits. Protestant mega churches are stupid as fuck though, just angry white dudes throwing people on the ground.
>>
>>34016865
''That helmet will make a nice bowl,for yer brains!''
>>
File: artie-pete-n-pete.gif (293KB, 500x375px) Image search: [Google]
artie-pete-n-pete.gif
293KB, 500x375px
>>34019264
>make his chest cavity grossly incandescent
>electrocute entire village with pagan wrath
>>
>>34016865
what are the applications of kangaroo piss? certainly there must be a good reason to store it in jars like that.
>>
>>34019410
seducing female kangaroos.
>>
>>34016432
Obviously I shoot him. :^)
>>
God is dead
Thread posts: 57
Thread images: 15


[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]

I'm aware that Imgur.com will stop allowing adult images since 15th of May. I'm taking actions to backup as much data as possible.
Read more on this topic here - https://archived.moe/talk/thread/1694/


If you need a post removed click on it's [Report] button and follow the instruction.
DMCA Content Takedown via dmca.com
All images are hosted on imgur.com.
If you like this website please support us by donating with Bitcoins at 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties.
Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site.
This means that RandomArchive shows their content, archived.
If you need information for a Poster - contact them.