Oh shit nigger, you're getting raided by the SAS for whatever

>>34008535
Trip the 600 lbs of C4 under my house

Lay face down on the floor and cover my ears and wait for the impending flashbang coming through my window. Think about how much I've enjoyed my life without living with EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>Throw m80s at them and tell them to do 800 pushups.
>Enjoy as they all start gurgling on your dick saying "yes staff!"

>>34008535
Start eating everything I can that has Alcohol Sugar in it.

>>34008535
Get my bathroom rug and pray toward Mecca so the SAS would be legally obliged under British law to apologize and leave after offering me their wives to quell the sexual emergency that their oppression has spurred..

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>>34008535
erase my internet history,get naked, Rub grease all over my body, kill myself in the middle of a room filled with Home Alone Style booby traps, come identify the body now faggots.

Cover everything in Vaseline
Everything

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>>34008535
>dress exactly like SAS
>let them raid the house
>work way into their group without them noticing
>I am SAS now

>>34008623
Ultimate greyman.

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>>34008535
>tea table in garden
>sleeping pills in the tea

Obviously I'd be killed even if I booby trapped everything and created whatever ambush I thought of.

Probably as soon as a booby trap went off they'd frag every room in the house as they went through.

I can't match their level of violence so I'd challenge them to a match of wits studying my book of riddles.

>>34008535
Britbong so
Maybe do some home alone shit
Or just off myself because I won't win

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>>34008642
>make a somewhat effective explosive boobytrap
>it explodes
>it wounds at least 2 of them, and overall most entry teams are like 4 or 5 members
>as soon as it explodes you pop out of a door and mag dump the hallway's general direction
>you kill another one or two
>the rest are forced to retreat or die
deadSAS.png

>>34008620
Including my stores of Potassium Chlorate under the house?

>>34008680
>Make bigger explosive
>Entire entry team is killed or wounded
>If my house isn't surrounded I steal a car and cross the border to Mexico
>Get killed by untrained mugger

>>34008535
>you have 60 minutes to prepare but you can't leave the house
Call up every local call girl and order a half dozen kegs and few dozen pizzas. Bribe SAS with hookers and beer.

>>34008535
> all is quiet, then suddenly
> BOOM
> 'BREACHING BREACHING'
> 'CLEAR LEFT'
> 'CONTACT RI- wait, Steve?'
> 'Alright Terry'
> 'The fuck are you doing here mate?'
> 'Its my fuckin house lad...speaking of, you owe me a new door'
> 'Shit, sorry about that Steve...the ball and chain not in?'
> 'Nah, shes visiting the in-laws'
> 'Fair dos...well, sorry about that mate'
> 'Dont sweat it chum. Pub tuesday?'
> 'Sounds good, see you there pal'

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>>34008535
sas pls go this is murican properties

no i will not pay taxes for yur shit country

>>34008540
FPBP

>>34008569
Well someone failed selection..

>>34008753

kek

>>34008540
stay safe anon, ATF is on its way

>>34008535
>comply
>get arrested
>get released after they realise i haven't done anything wrong
That was easy.

>>34008741
>tfw the entrance is blocked by 400 pizzas and several confused party goers and pizza people.
>armed entry team shows up
>mass panic occurs
>pizza everywhere
>escape out the window during the clusterfuck
>spend the rest of your days in a trailer in Mexico

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>>34008760

merika stahp pls give me delcious hamburgers

>>34008772
Are you a selection dropout also? I didn't even make it to interrogation.

Get some food and hide in the dresser with my phone.

>>34008810
Did you drop out in hills or jungle phase?
Aiming for SFC

>>34008535
>Pour gallons of lube on my hardwood floors
>Replace all lamps and decorations with massive dildos
>Glue porn mag pages on my walls
>Strip down and oil myself up
>Put on a Donald Trump mask
>Swallow a bottle of cyanide pills

>>34008833
NzSAS, so the terrain is pretty much a combination of both. Also practice not sleeping.

>>34008880
> a bottle of cyanide pills

Nigga, how would you even...
> goes into pharmacy
> 'Hello there'
> 'Hi, one bottle of cyanide pills please'
> 'Of course, the 200mg or 500mg?'
> '500mg please'
> 'Sure, got a big weekend planned?'
> 'Uh...something like that..'

Sounds feasible

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>>34008792
Och ye proddie bastards I'll show ye who's the boss! OOH! AH! UP THE RA!

>>34008916
Fair play mate, good on you for giving it a crack

>>34008937
> *bombs civvies*

>>34008937
>*becomes drug dealing criminal organisation*

>>34008760
>>34008760
what happened here?

>>34008937
> *sucks Al Qaeda cock for weapons*

>>34008535

>Ballistic helmet
>Gas mask
>Electronic ear pro
>All mags for 5.56 and .308 loaded.
>.300WM ready
>Motor oil all over tile floors
>Every window spraypainted over
>Cloth sheets loosely stapled over every window to make tossing things in annoying as fuck.
>All the black powder, flammable liquids, and volatiles I have in a pile in the main room
>Motorcycle parked on neighboring street behind house
>Not much else to do now

>As soon as team stacks up, punch 1-2 .300WM rounds through the wall / door.
>Wait for breach.
>When door kicks in, flare gun into the pile of flammables.
>Magdump through bedroom wall at front door.
>As soon as any survivors take time to regroup, egress to motorcycle.
>Flee to canal system and fuck off out of the country permanently.

>team retreats
>waits for you to burn to death or come outside

>>34009027
>breaching the front door
>SAS

>>34009027
> implying they wouldnt be breaching through multiple avenues of approach and dont have guys covering escape routes

>>34008792
hahaha all those firearms are deactivated. even if the slr is activated itll only be a straight pull.

>>34009044

Wherever they decide to breach. There are 3 possible points of entry to my house. If they send multiple teams in from multiple entries I don't have enough shit to set up traps so I'm fucked anyway.

I guess I could just park my truck in the garage pre-raid, magdump through the walls near all entry point, light the whole place on fire, then just drive right the fuck through my chintzy garage door immediately. If I could break line of sight and switch to my motorcycle before they caught up with the clusterfuck I might escape.

>>34009027
The SAS will come through the wall or roof, perhaps the floor if you have a basement.

>>34009054
You realize that's a photo of a terrorist organization right?
Are you retarded?

>>34009027
Solid

>>34009074
If they were they'd be using more modern weapons. Everything from that table is pre 1960. I can almost guarantee they are for show.

>>34009064
>Road tacks on driveway
>Street blocked off
Just get arrested man.

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>Buy literally as many smoke grenades, bombs, and chemical weapons I can either with my money or on existing credit
>Buy gasmask, cameras, guns, and anything that will help me in this scenario
>Keep throwing gas grenades until I have no more or die
>Make them waste an entire day or 2 outside my house trying to get in safely
>Get on live television
>Become infamous terrorist
>just like my animes.jpg

>>34008535
But I'm at work

>>34009027
>>34009044
>>34009052
>>34009064
>>34009068
>>34009104
You know all of this bullshit could've been avoided if you had a tunnel, right?

Just boobytrap the house then get in the tunnel as soon as they breach, after the boob explodes on them it'll take them a minute or two to get their shit together, but by that time you've already left the block.

>>34009074
>IRA
>Terrorist Organisation
You focking wot mate? Oil flocking cap ye!!

>>34009102
Shockingly enough, a terrorist organization in a country where its difficult to get arms often uses very old equipment

>>34009052
>>34009068

All the more important then to cause as much damage and chaos as quickly as possible to create enough confusion to escape from the premises.

Once I'm out of the house and break line of sight it becomes manhunt territory, and I live in an absurd urban area heavily populated by Mexicans who won't / cant cooperate with authorities.

If I play it smart, traverse through yards, houses, and rainwater runoff canals I can become grey-man by stripping off my outer layers and casually inserting myself into a grocery or hide in some minority heavy apartment complex until I'm able to egress more fully.

>>34009125

Yeah, but I don't have a tunnel and I can't dig one in 60 minutes.

Trying to stick within the actual confines of the OP here, meaning only stuff I actually have at home and work that could be done in that time frame.

If this happens there's an 80% or so I would guess chance that I get killed.

>>34009128
>that
>IRA
I want yanks to leave.

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>>34008535
>SAS arrives at my California State office
>front desk asks for employee ID
>CHP escorts them out

Based CHiPs

fill my house from floor to ceiling with water. bet they didn't bring scuba gear.

>>34009238
You don't live at the station.

They are performing a borderline illegal hit mission like how the US did for Pakistan when they assassinated OBL.

Even if you did, the SAS, dude. They'd replicate that police statioj part of Terminator with zero fucks.

>>34009154
>Yeah, but I don't have a tunnel
then WHAT THE FUCK are you doing on /k/ now?

go dig one. now.

Why would you stay in the house? Spend that 60 minutes getting as close to the Mexican border as possible.

>>34009293

I'm pretty hesitant to start digging a tunnel in a rental. House might also be on a tensioned slab, which doesn't respond well to being dug through.

When I buy a house that I plan on living in for more than 2-3 years I'll get right on that.

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>Give the family a heads up
>Literally every person is my house is armed
>let based neighbors know what's coming
>Strategically position remote activated fog machines and strobe lights in my garage
>Bring out my concert-level audio systems and position them facing the street and approach
>Take up strategic positions around the house
>SAS rolls up
>As they are getting out I nearly blow my speakers by playing IRA music/Skrillex/Death metal
>FUCK THE BRITISH ARMY!
>Strobe and various lighting is blinding them
>They can't hear shit over the WUBWUB
>Coordinated fire from 6 different houses
>Britcucks retreat under fire

I think I got this covered

>>34009125
SAS would either blind-fire into the tunnel, tje ricochets bouncing into your flabby pale body, or they'd drop frags, smoke or something or they'd collapse the tunnel with heavier explosives. Or send dogs down to chew your balls off in the darkness.

SAS, man. There is almost no way to win.

>>34009321
Yeah, they also plan meticulously about how they will enter the building and etc.

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>>34008640

I'd leave the front door open, or meet them on the lawn. That way, my widow would have a undamaged house to sell or whatever.

If a hit team more competent that mall security guys want to kill you, it really doesn't matter too much.

>>34009315
They all wear 1,300 usd state of the aet noise cancelling eargear.

They use the noise as cover as they violently burst through the wall with a stolen truck and find and garrot you with a cablesaw. You can't hear them over the noise and because you have earplugs in. Nobody hears your gurgling struggle and wild gunfire because the bass is thumping so loud and gangster af and totally baller. They sneak out and take both of your ears.

>>34009321
nigger as soon as your booby trap goes boom you should already be in that tunnel, like, run nigger you have legs, needless to talk about the time it takes them to get their shit together after the explosion and the clear the house itself

by the time they find the tunnel's entrance you should already be gone.

>>34008535
damn, I walk with a limp rn fucking pulled muscle or pinched nerve or something

>>34008563
In addition, open your mouth. It will lessen the chance of your ear drums rupturing. Learned it from a coworker who knows people in prison, but I checked around and it seems legitimate.

>>34009315
> set up OPs all around and observe
> wait for weeks for you and your buddies to eventually get bored and become complacent
> wait until the dead of night
> take out all your sentries using your own sound as cover
> sneak into your room and fuck your shit right up
> in the morning all there are is bodies
> you wake up dead

These blokes literally did 'training' missions in the South American jungles against heavily armed narco traffickers. You think they cant take out a dozen civvies with a sound system and a few rifles?

>>34009410
Pressure differentials or some shit I think

>>>34009284
>implying I don't spend more time in the office than in my own home
They are stationed the floor right below me my dude.

And note: the SAS are tough, but British.
When asked politely to leave they will stutter and slink off, like they have done in all their colonies for the past 50 years.

Open the doors, stick the light on, put the kettle on.

"cup of tea, lads?"

>>34008535

Leave the house. Pick them off one by one from 500 m away.

>>34008937
>*pretends they're still relevant*

>>34009480
> tough, but British

Thats like saying the Navy SEALs are tough, but American and therefore massively obese, loud and constantly unaware of how badly theyve shat themseves in Walmart

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>>34008535
>implying I haven't already prepared for this
I'm gonna go ahead and pour some lube in the ballpit (that has nails at the bottom), make some coffee, grab a seat, kick back, and wait for the screams of frustration.

>>34008535
I'd ask why I have sixty minutes as I only live twenty minutes from Hereford; probably destroy and burn all paper records and electronic stuff in my possession.

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Pic related.

>>34008535
I watch the last half hour of Home Alone, then use the next half hour copying his defense methods.

Order pizza, thermite harddrives, get drunk, eat a slice or two and shoot myself as the bongs roll up.

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>Quickly grab all my knifes
>Get a life
>Bin all of them
>Now they have no reason to come after me anymore

>>34008535
Drink all the alcohol I have in the house and see if there's anything on my bucket list I can do inside of 60 minutes

50/50 chance I'm jacking off to shit on /d/, so in scenario 1, I'd just continue jacking off to /d/ as they bust my door down. Stare them in the eyes as I finish, calmly save and close all the futa hentai. blow own brains out with 9mm hanging above my monitor.

Scenario 2 - I'm only browsing /d/, not actively jacking it, so mix all of my binary explosives, hold a position in bathroom with view to my door. as soon as they bust in, hit binaries with my AR and rush them butt naked, covered in butter. good luck catching me then.

>>34009850
>the only entrance to a room is through a water slide
I genuinely want to know how an entry team would handle this.
Would they try to rappel down?

>>34008535
>call the feds and tell them that a foreign military force is about to assault a US citizen
>since I somehow know they're coming, provide the feds with proof >wait while the state department reams the bongs a new one
>get drunk and watch The Patriot

>>34008535

>dish soap and water all over tile floors
>benny hill music on repeat on surround sound system
>dildos strategically placed to slip and fall into

Your move britbongs

>>34009908
>Bin you're collection of hundreds of knives
>Get hundreds of lives, get shot by SAS
>Use my other lives to whore it up in Thailand for the next millennium,

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>>34009949
this fucking got me

>>34009932
By throwing a grenade down the slide.

>>34008753
I wonder if anyone on /k/ is in the SAS (or any other tier 1 SOF)

>>34009850
What IS the proper procedure for clearing ball pits?

>>34008535
convert to islam

>>34009294
>Spend that 60 minutes getting as close to the Mexican border as possible.
>Tfw live in twin cities Minnesota
>Wouldn't even get close to Iowa

Shiiiiiieeet

>>34008535

100 lbs flour
75 Gal Gasoline
100 Gal Diesel
12bagsx50lbs Nitrate fertilizer


Well, lemme see, I toss the flour on a tarp under a few dozen buckets of gas.
I dump ALL the nitrates into a stainless washbasin and then drench them with diesel via the wash nozzles.

I either use my jihad pi timer or a zippo to let it go kablooey,

I'm on a pair of ATV, my 2 kids in the back spraying 556, my wife on my back exercising the AR10.

Hit point golf within 30 minutes, ditch the ATVs and get on the highways in a lightly armored conversion van.

Hope to god the distraction kablooey was enough to get to golf. We arrive at hotel, a farm community with a couple BnB and a pig farm next door.

Eat well and get the fuck out of the country by charter jet straight to southern Mexico.

Touch down in (citattion needed) and enjoy an aqua fresca before getting on a bus to chile, where I have a couple of low powered rifles, and a dozen friendly neighbors.


If its total surprise attack, I lay down and take it.... death is become ME

>>34009943
>>34009966
>>34009932
Send in the dogs.

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>>34008535
Remove floors
Barricade windows
Place bathtub in center of building
Cut firing holes in tub, flip it over and lie under it
Wait for death

>>34009961
Do you really think that person would tell you if they were? If they did post, its probably because of the deniability of who would believe an SAS guy is shitposting on a mongolian paper folding forum?

>>34009960
How are they going to check if I'm dead, though?
Ideally there's be a small swimming pool at the bottom, so that should act as a grenade sump anyhow.

>>34009369
>If a hit team more competent that mall security guys want to kill you, it really doesn't matter too much

Which begs a new, also fun, question: all you anons, how many mall cops do you think it'd take to effectively attack your home and subdue you?

>>34010001
Depends, how much do they care about taking casualties?

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>>34009989
>tfw Imagining a German Shepard falling for slapstick home alone booby traps while a net upstairs is laughing and eating tendies.

>>34010001
There's a steep 500-something step stairway up the hill to my house.
I should be fine, they'll all pass out from exhaustion.

>>34009961
Do selection dropouts who aren't even in the forces anymore count?

>>34009989
>implying I didn't coat the floor in pepper just in case

>>34010026
>SAS
>Exhaustion
People that make it past selection don't feel pain, they are robots specialised in stair climbing.

>>34010017
Let's assume they keep coming until they've gotten you. In this scenario, you don't get away, because it's about how many would it take before they kill or arrest you.

>>34010047
This side question was about how many mall cops would it take to subdue you.

>>34008535
>you have 60 minutes


dumb as fuck, You either have 20 days or 20 hours or 20 minutes or 20 seconds.

fucking hour is not a useful scenario for ANY battle.

20 days, be gone
20 hours, booby trap and be gone
20 minutes, valhalla awaits
20 seconds, most likely... detonate all the ANFO and spray 7.62 until the virgins appear

>>34010032
Please dont say RAF Regiment (aka the laughing stock of SFSG)

>>34008535

I'd use tons of little screw-hooks, fishing line and fish-hooks to make my house really, really annoying to clear, then I suppose I'd light some fires and shoot at them before they kill me.

>>34010047
I'm referring to the mall cops, silly.
Segways don't handle stairs well so they'd have to go on foot.

>>34010056
If its just mall cops with no support probably a couple dozen to 50 at most
My house is pretty defensible but eventually they're going to figure out that there's dead ground behind the oil tank they can use to mass for a mall cop charge

>>34010056
You could have 2 of them in the same room as me and I'd still die from the room heating up to 90 degrees centigrade and being filled with monoxides.

>>34008535
Make my house a church for religious immunity.

>>34010001
22. The last 2 would catch me off guard. I might high jack one of their Segways and Paul Blart the fuck out.

>>34010070
Could you set up enough fish line and hooks in just one hour?

>>34010067
An hour is enough time to deploy a few traps and set up minor fortifications (tipping tables over, boarding doors shut, putting out a bit of razor wire)

>entrance is covered in vaseline
>every doorway has a tripwire
>broken floorboards hide punji pits
>when they eventually get into the main room surrender and comply
>but have a pipe bomb up the asshole
YOUR MOVE, MR. LAWMAN

>>34009996
> small pool acting as a grenade catcher

Uhm, anon, if youre in the pool and the grenade is in the pool, youre fucked.
The only thing worse than being in a room with a grenade is being in water with a grenade. Water doesnt compress, hence all the force from the explosion goes straight into you and fucks your shit right up

>>34010085
An hour is enough to ditch the wife in kids near the Mexican border and continue on by foot.

>>34010081

In an hour? Sure man. I could fuck my place up in an hour.

Put a big sign in my window that says "The bloke next door is in the IRA" and hope I can get sneak out the backdoor while they're busy filling him in

>>34010066
>This side question was about how many mall cops would it take to subdue you.

50-80 in two waves with armor, flashbangs, rockets and air support.

I could take 12 seals with 20 hours warning, but I'd be ded in the end.

I could take 2 seals with 20 minutes warning.

I could take a carbine up my ass with 20 seconds...

>>34010111
Depends on whether you do separate graves or one big pit

>>34010129
Just for curiosity (I didn't nothin Mr law man) would it be worth it to drag your wife and kids over the wall just to bury them in Mexico where nobody will care?

>>34010108
No, no. I'd be outside of the pool, maybe in another room adjacent to the exit, maybe just chilling in a lawn chair reading a book.

>>34010148
If you bothered to drag them over the border, no point burying them, just say the cartels did it.

>>34010153
> lawn chair

Someone clearly hasnt seen their new White Suburban Neighbourhood Summer Camouflage catalogue...they wanted you to sit on the 'lawn chair'

>>34009883
How'd this work out for him

>>34010221
Flamethrowered.

>>34010221
I think Frank ended up hanging him.
Shoulda had a baby on the back of his neck.

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>>34008535
Drink for an hour and hope they shoot to kill

>>34010230
His only weakness

>>34010245
>that face

Being in the Wehrmacht post 43 must've been a hell of a drug

Throw away all my contraband, start brewing tea and leave tge door opened.

>>34008623
kek

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They now have to assault the bun/k/er. How does this change things?

>>34008535
I say fuck you im an american and then nothing happens cause the SAS arent a thing in my country.

>>34010783
Probably the only thing that could make an SF guy commit suicide is witnessing the utter depravity of the bun/k/er...its like Event Horizon crossed with Mad Max, except with a lot more lube and dragon dildos

>>34010955
> he doesnt know the Green Berets are a direct copy of the SAS

>>34010127
>I could take 12 seals with 20 hours warning, but I'd be ded in the end.

Not a single (you) ?

This was a decent enough quality bait to get at least a Nothin personel.

You fuckers KNOW I couldnt take even 6 operators with 20 hours, because those fuckers had like several weeks intel.

Does my bait smell so rotten? really?

>>34011070
You need to sweeten the bait just enough to make it believable that someone deluded could say it, but not sour it such that it appears too farcical.

>>34008535
Hide inside mattress

>>34011044
No, they were descedents of the ww2 brit commandos hence the green berets, and so were the SAS.

>>34008535
claymores everywhere.

>>34014935
No, the SAS were formed DURING ww2 by David Sterling and originated as L Troop, D Squadron; the royal marine commandos and the paras were also formed in ww2.

The officer in charge of forming SFOD-D went directly to the SAS and copied many of their methods, techniques and training methods to create the Deltas.

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>>34014935
If you dont know what youre talking about, better to say nothing than spout bollocks.

>>34009995
There is that Shadowspear forum full of operator guys. They have to submit proof like a sanitized ERB and DODID to become a full member.

>>34008582
What meme is this

>>34015291
Thats mainly US though (correct me if im wrong), over here theres a lot more precedence on persec because there is an abundance of ex-IRA nutters and angry muslims who would love to get their hands on squaddies, let alone a UKSF bloke. If youre being safe you dont even wear your uniform out and about, generally these nutters go for the easiest identifiable target, not a specific target, therefore its better to not draw attention to yourself.

>>34015305
Alcohol sugars have a laxative property.

Puncture a natural gas line, wait by one of the doors with a lighter and cable. As soon as I hear an entry, run out the backdoor and toss the lighter (trigger held down by cable) into the house and get the hell out of dodge.

>niggas gonna boom

>what do?

>open the front door and front gate,
>turn all the lights on,
>undress to nothing but my underwear,
>put my hands together behind my back, palms facing outwards

Hey I have an hour, right? Couldn't I just call the cops and threaten them with some invented story about hostages as to have the SWAT team and dozens of police surrounding my house?

Than I'd nooby trap, hole up in a closet with my favorite nugget, delay the SWAT as long as possible when the SAS get there...

>>34008535

Only one entrance, so I guess I make my final stand right here. My gun safe is stocked, and I have all my gear ready.

Knowing how the SAS operate I'd probably be dead in seconds anyway, but at least I get to die on my own terms.

>>34015310
Yeah that sounds fair. When I'm in Europe I conceal my military affiliation as much as possible.

I kinda do in the US when possible but there are far fewer violent people targeting soldiers like in Europe. We have no domestic blood feuds with disgruntled Irishmen either.

>>34015358
Ive heard from lads who've gone on Ex in the US that if you walk into a bar in your uniform that you wont pay for a drink all night...I could go for some of that tbqh

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>>34015338
>Knowing how the SAS operate
From where do you know? COD?
Cut the crap, SAS just like any other SOF unit bleed and die, they're also humans who have lives
they're not some kind of spartan program super soldiers

and i'd even argue that there's no difference between them, Delta, seals, JTF2 or even any other SOF unit around the world

>>34015384
> SAS == Delta
> SBS == SEALs
> JTF2 =/= SAS
> JTF2 == RAF regiment (aka the Kiddiefiddlers)

>>34015384
All I know is second hand stories and what I've read from books, so clearly a lot of it is exaggerated.

That being said, a team of SAS would easily take out one armed individual such as myself. Best I can hope for is a quick death or surrendering.

Even if we assume that I get off the first shots, they eventually win, even if the price is high.

>>34015397
i'm talking in terms of gunfighting,field skills and v&ing people, i don't think we'd see any significant difference between the ones i listed

>>34015376
I'm Army and yeah you'll get positive attention like that but it's unprofessional imo and nobody will blink an eye at you if its a military town like Colorado Springs. Also its against regs unless its in your dress uniform. I did this exactly once.

The Airforce is infamous for drinking in duty uniform though.

Shit I bet a UK soldier in uniform would probably get the same treatment and probably women sniffing your neck too.

>>34015406
SAS has several squadrons, each squadron has a Boat, Mountain, Air and Mobility Troop, each specialising in different aspects of warfare. They also have a dedicated CounterTerrorism unit and Counter-Revolutionary War unit. In terms of pew pew im sure theyre all the same, but I dont know enough about the regimental makeup of the other SF units to comment as to whether they have the same operational capabilities.

>>34015416
Fair play mate, would love to go on Ex in the States, you lads have all the good toys.

>>34015418
>Counter-Revolutionary War unit
Kinda unfair that these types of guys exist.

How am I ever going to be able to start an insurrection and retake muh rights when they'll just get sent in to do their spooky psyops shit on me?! ;_;

>>34015431
Look up Task Force 40, basically an Intelligence unit in Northern Ireland using SAS blokes in civvies to do recce and hit targets. 90's operator aesthetic with MP5Ks and Sigs under their jackets.

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>>34015449
I think I saw some interviews with some of those guys in a documentary on NI war crimes. They used to work with the Constabulary and recruit off of the loyalist militias, even supplied them with some guns or something.

It seemed to have messed with their heads pretty badly a few decades on.

But I do like the idea of doing drive-bys with submachine guns in Datsun 120Ys.

>>34008535
>what do?
Even though I have a massive pile of guns/ammo... I'm putting up the white flag.
I don't want to die.

>can't leave the house
Try and fucking stop me pussy. I'm being raided by SAS on US soil; obviously I'm not very concerned with following rules. Anyway Id blend in with the homeless population while concealing a full size 9mm pistol with a handful of 32 round mags. I know the downtown area well and it would be easier to avoid being cornered if I become compromised.

>>34015499
>I'm being raided by SAS on US soil
How do you know you haven't been sedated, extraordinarily renditioned, then placed into an exact replica of your house built in a CIA complex in Yemen?

Have you left your house today? How would you even know?

>>34014935
the barret 50 cal was made 4 the Grern berets

>>34015518
nervous laughter

>>34008535
1. browse 4chan for 54 minutes
2. take off all my clothes and lie on the porch until they get here
3. ask if i can touch their guns

>>34008535
>grab shovel
>start digging to china
>???
>profit

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>>34015518

Holy shit, Anon, I have only had one cup of coffee today.. My mind isn't ready for that kind of fuckery right now!

>>34008640
looks very pleasant, top waifu

>>34009989
>call the ATF and tell them that there's a bunch of fellers outside with automatic weapons

>>34009883
This wouldnt stop you getting shot by an assasination team who dont care about berkley and mark's baby, or consuela's

>>34009908
>anon
>getting a life
top kek

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>>34008992
>>34008760
>leave all stove gas flowing
>wait 59 minutes
>hide in bathroom/basement
>wait for SAS to throw flashband
>prey you arent toasted and they are

Captain Herbert Richard Westmacott, MC (11 January 1952 – 2 May 1980) was a British Army officer who became the first person to be awarded a posthumous Military Cross. As an officer of the Grenadier Guards (2nd Battalion)[1] on Extra Regimental Employment to the Special Air Service (SAS), he died in an encounter with the Provisional Irish Republican Army (IRA). He was the highest-ranking SAS officer to be killed in Northern Ireland during Operation Banner.

He was in command of an eight-man plainclothes SAS patrol that had been alerted by the Royal Ulster Constabulary that an IRA gun team had taken over a house on Antrim Road, Belfast.[2] A car carrying three SAS men went to the rear of the house, and another car carrying five SAS men went to the front of the house.[3] As the SAS arrived at the front of the house the IRA unit, nicknamed the "M60 gang", opened fire from a window with an M60 machine gun, hitting Westmacott in the head and shoulder and killing him instantly.[3] The remaining SAS men at the front returned fire but were forced to withdraw.[2][3] One member of the IRA team was apprehended by the SAS at the rear of the house while preparing the unit's escape in a transit van. The other three IRA members remained inside the house.[4] More members of the security forces were deployed to the scene, and after a brief siege the remaining members of the IRA unit surrendered

>>34015755
So the correct answer is an M60

>>34008535
> Order pizza

>>34015985
>pizza, singular
>for an entire team of SAS
Some host you are!

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>>34008623
Yes

>>34015329
They'll probably blow a hole in your wall anyways.

>put astroglide all over the hardwood/tile flooring
>they breach
>kill me
>I win

:^)

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Use some tricks from my new book

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>>34008535
>Not living in a bunker

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>>34008535


Get out the battle flag of the French and call a lawyer. Fuck fighting that.

Sit on my porch and offer them a cold one.

>>34008535
Hang up one lantern in a church tower.
Inform the US military since the British are coming

>>34009107
sauce on that pic?

>>34008535
Grab my thong and coat myself in olive oil. Then wait for the big strong men to come crashing through my walls to ravish me

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>>34018454
Sabagebu!

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>grab all guns and ammo
>go to basement of house
>go into boiler room
>concrete walls
>double up on the earpro so the impending flashbang doesnt fuck me too bad
>put on pic related
>put on respirator
>hole up and wait
>as soon as the flashbang goes off flip the visor up
>rock and roll with the lightning link
>die shortly