>Be 17
>No clue what to do
>Decide to join Navy (Uncle gave me talk at his party for making e-6)
>Get revved up for a few months about it
>Meet girl expecting to break upon serving
>Latent depression comes out in relationship
>Shrug it off, be in Dep for a year after rate was delayed
>Leave
>Minute into bootcamp it all comes crashing down
>Meet awesome people who try to motivate me and graduate
>Convince myself I want to leave out of wanting college and freedom and shit
>Sepped after thinking for about it for 3 weeks
>Re-3E, moderate to severe depression
>Become positive after feeling like it was an experience about growth and expectations
>Come home
>Fucking hate life again
I thought I could do it, turns out I couldn't. I psyched myself out. The worst part about it in retrospect was making the decision the day before we would recieve phonecalls. I said that I didn't want to get swayed and be more miserable, but it is the same and probably even worse since I've been back for two months. No jobs want me, not in school, just stay at gf house and waste.
Miss shipmates. Miss facsimile of comaraderie. Have only 2 friends, gf included and one is going to Canada. Have no male friends.
Been regretting choosing Navy. Want Army combat engineer. Since I was told re3 could reenlist tried going to recruiters for some assistance. Find that mental health issues are non waiverable. Want to keep trying but hit with constant existential crisis. Fucking hate life.
Anyone else?
>>33946040
not weapons related. fuck off.
>>33946040
>Find that mental health issues are non waiverable
get diagnosed by a psychiatrist
get & stay on your meds
live a mostly normal life
otherwise forget it pal, depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain, all the positive attitude b.s. on planet earth will not fix it - the meds will
>>33946040
lucky you, i got the boot for having lungs that only work at 70% capacity at best
>>33946043
It's military related fuck off cunt
>>33946091
Been going to therapy but that's about it. Have no insurance and live at home. Parents don't get depression and so I am not allowed to take meds, as beta as that sounds.
>>33946101
How'd you make it past Meps?
>>33946040
It seems to me the Navy would have only distracted you from some far larger issues that you need to crack down on.
Get a hold on your shit and you might just find more meaningful work, you could be a firefighter or a cop or some shit but you can't really serve others until you can serve yourself.
You're not confined to being the same person for the rest of your life, people change with pain and time we become better versions of ourselves. Every 30 year old knows that their 24 year old self was a retard, let alone 17 that's a fucking child.
>>33946040
>want to join army
>can do literally zero push ups
(this is entirely my fault, I'm fat and retarded)
>score 93rd percentile on ASVAB
>recruiter lies on my 1-1-1, go to benning
>shoot expert
>have great time in general
>run 13:30 2 mile, do 72 sit ups
>pulled from training because I can't do 42 push ups
>given plenty of chances, max at 41
>sent home
I don't even know if a recruiter will talk to me now, I really want to go back.
>>33946320
What they didn't send you to the fatboy platoon?
>>33946349
The worst part is that they did, that's how I got to 41.
>>33946279
You are a good guy Anon. Still, it feels hard to see the vision and outcome of all of this stuff.
Thank you.
>>33946320
Somewhat same here. Score 93 asvab. Land a Corpsman rating. Do no mental or physical training. Fuck up immensely the minute i got there.
>>33946353
Sucks, miss one and you're just separated like that? Fucking hell you'd be knocking out pushups by the end of the first year at your duty station like your life depended on it.
>>33946040
Nice blog post you faggot failure. Hopefully you get so depressed and Kill your self
>>33946251
you're b.s.
depr meds cost 1.5 cents a pill
>>33946091
Meds don't always fix it, but they're worth trying to see if they help
My gf has clinical depression, and for her, the meds actually fuck her up even more
But don't shy away from them just for that reason, they're worth trying IF you get diagnosed
>>33946040
for whats its worth op, i made it and wish i never enlisted. want to kill myself everday. my advice is to not stay on the past, try to find something to work to and live for.