Hold me /k/

just become a male nurse

>>33908060
What country\army?

>not lying your ass off on application
I think you deserve this

Heard back last week that I'm going to make it into the September intake. Suck it fag!

>>33908111
Can't really lie about eczema when they're looking right at it.

>>33908070
no

>>33908095
British army.

>>33908111
They check your medical background from your general practitioner.

>>33908123
No, my eczema is barely visible and I have not had an issue with it for years.

>>33908123
If it's not been on your medical record for the past couple of years then just lie.

>>33908131
We wouldn't deny your application if you have hay fever. My lance jack becomes a snivelling, red mess due to his hay fever. And eczema isn't a big problem.

You're either not telling us the actual truth, or someone who does the medical checkups cocked up.

The Legion awaits you lad

>>33908060
Go to College, it's for the better.

>>33908060
socialized medicine wins again. no worries m8, it'll happen.

>>33908163
Not after the recent election results. Maybe if Le Penn wins next term.

>>33908152
Alright, it says I had a diagnosis of depression in 2013 and 2014, a diagnosis of eczema with treatment until 2014 and tremor, rhino sinusitis (sinus thing), hyperhidrosis (sweaty palms). Literally all of the above listed are meme worthy and does not affect me at all for years.

>>33908170
I am in college but I want to apply for UOTC/ROTC or reserves then join the regulars when I graduate.

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>>33908222
>Alright, it says I had a diagnosis of depression in 2013 and 2014

Yeah, that's definitely the background we want for someone we're about to send into PTSD country. What could possibly go wrong?

>>33908222
Depression is big one, mate. Army won't touch anyone with a 12 foot pole who's thought about killing themselves.

If I remember right, you have to be clear of depression for 4 years. So you've got yourself a year of training to join the regiment\corps you want.

I'm not sure about Sinusitis, haven't really encountered any problem with it. I don't believe it would be an issue, as long as it doesn't hinder your breathing.

You're not in a rush to join, and the army will always be waiting there. We won't be going to war anytime soon, and depending on your role choice, you won't be doing fuck all for a while.

>>33908259
Yeah fair enough. I guess I can stick with endurance training and apply when I graduate.

Really annoying as I went up to Glencorse at the beginning of the year and everything was fine, even after the medical checkup.

Why don't you try to join the S.A.S and try not to die in the process?

>>33908345
Kiwi here who tried and failed for nzsas, DONT FUCKING DO IT!!!!

>>33908222

>Depression

Why didn't you just say that from the start, you nonce?

>>33908370
>can't even pass SAS selection
get a load of this girl

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>>33908222
>Alright, it says I had a diagnosis of depression in 2013 and 2014
Well lookie lookie what do we have here.
Fucking idiot.
Clinical diagnosis is straight up nut case,if you are not smart enough to hide it,or never get it in the first place you are one simple guy.
They did well.

>>33908370
What broke you anon?

>>33908060
At least it's not a PDQ, faggot. The military was my dream that I never got to accomplish

>>33908473
Crying after 2 hours in a stress position.

>>33908529
Damn anon,2 hours from the start of selection?

>>33908131
>eczema is barely visible

now when you are all comfy

get stressed out no sleep no food no showers and surprise your eczema will get much worse

>>33908615
Nope after 4 months of hell. Haven't been offered a place in selection since, what a waste of human I am.

>>33908677
How did you fail after making it so far?

How does the US army feel about being allergic to bees?

>>33908060

>wanting to join the military

This is a bad decision and you would have regretted it. You should use the next five years of your life doing something productive, like getting a college degree, not driving trucks and waiting for your ID to be checked. If you still want to join the military at that point you can be an officer and take a not shit job anyway.

Or you could just go back to the recruiter and offer to fill whatever quota he needs filled, in which case he will do whatever magic necessary to get you in but you'll be digging latrines and pumping sewage for the next eight years of your life.

>>33908131

>British army.

jej ignore everything I said, their standards are too high. If you REALLY want to clean toilet you can just fly to America and apply into our army though

>>33908060

Though about joining the RAF regiment? It's better than being a pedophile.

>>33908060
How bad is your eczema? I get some pretty light rashes depending on the weather and it's mostly my fault for scratching. Yours must be pretty bad for it to be a problem? Are all severities of eczema a condition for rejection? Luckily I can resist the itch.

>>33908690

They don't care, especially if you forget to write it onto your application. Only need to survive basic training then everyone is locked into your contract. The only thing the US military is anal retentive about is diabetes, because they don't like having to supply insulin to soldiers.

>>33908677
You're still a million times tougher then me anon,good job for surviving 4 months

>>33908686
I'm fit, but I can't stand pain, and trip over my words a lot. Long story short I didn't know what I was getting into.

>>33908529
That's nothing. Spend a week with my mother in law...

>>33908770
How much is psychological and how much is physical during selection? I heard a lot of dealbreakers are because they can't handle it mentally.

>>33908709
My six years of service bought me 15 acres and a cabin, A part of my soul died but that would have happened anyway if I had spent those years as a dairy farmer or logger.

>>33908784
It's really fucking physically demanding during the first 3 months, that alone drives you mental, plus all the non stop shouting and spontaneous exercises. But what really fucked with me was during the last month when they started cutting our sleep and throwing m80s outside our barracks. At one stage I had gone 4 days with out sleep. The interrogations really fucked me up as well, we had this one twitchy guy as our interrogator who would give you stuff and then fucking explode when we accepted it. But the absolute worst possible thing about selection was the stress positions and the white noise. Not even going to describe that shit.

>>33908867
That sounds like fun,what were the interrogations like also what kind of physical training were you guys forced to do?

>>33908060
Congrats, you just dodged getting shot in some desert shithole for no reason like an idiot

>>33908867
White noise helps me fall asleep.
Sounds comfy.

>>33908987
Not that kind of white noise, I never asked what everyone else got but I had a track of a drill cutting into metal followed by a baby screaming, and it was cranked up to shouting volume.

>>33908971
The interrogations are pretty hard to describe, he had a way of making you feel nervous and uncomfortable, and he would on occasion spaz out and start hitting the wall with a chair. For fitness is was a little bit of everything, mostly running and ruck marches. The worst (for me at least) was the swimming and having to hold a rock in front of your for half an hour.

>>33908222
>Not after the recent election results. Maybe if Le Penn wins next term

Why does that matter? I'm assuming you aren't planning on settling in France after anyway. Plus you're a lot more likely to get a real 'military' experience in the FFL than in any commonwealth never-deploy force.

>>33908978
>implying there's a reason to do anything

Yeah, top stuff mate

>>33909190
Not comfy at all

>>33908222
I don't want you bunking near me ever. Neither does the army.

>>33909244
So that's why you'd voluntarily cuck yourself?

>>33908222
Holy fuck, you're Darwins nightmare

Keep off the army, your lifestyle is pretty shit also. They won't accept you, and your life will be miserable

>>33909224
UK has had more people deployed in the past decade than France has.

>>33909262
Good point. Plus his skin flakes might give away Intel.

Goddamnit op. Just admit it. YOU WERE NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

>>33908257
>>33908426
>>33908469
Honestly I don't like to bring it up but I was pretty much forced to speak to a shrink after close mate of mine an heroed and got caught drinking alone

>>33908727
>>33908652
>>33909312
The eczema really isn't as bad as you'd imagine. i used to have a lot on my armpits as a kid. I do cardio and callisthenics training outdoors during the week and try going hiking/camping/climbing when I can in the weekends, going on long periods without washing more than my face in the morning without so much a rash.

>>33908709
Yeah it was totally a bad decision to do 4 years, then go to college for 4 years for free while getting $1700 a month. College is way better when you're a bit older. The majority of 18 year olds I had to put up with in class had literally no clue what they wanted to do with their lives, but went to college anyway taking classes they had no interest in.

>>33908152
but why would someone lie on the internet

>>33909483
>got caught drinking alone
I drink alone so are most of the people here all the time.
You need to change environments.

>>33908060
Join the RAF anon
>Treated much better during training
>You can join a defence regiment and get to shoot guns all the same
>much less PT MUCH
>unlike the Army the RAF is actually looking to take more people on rather than replace them with reservists.
and the only tradeoff is that you become a full blown homosexual, not a bad deal if you ask me.

>>33908060
Why do you want to join in the first place? If it's just an interest in weapons and operating you could try join a police ARV unit (swat essentially) they literally can't deny you based on your medical history per the 2004 disability act.

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>>33910244
>>You can join a defence regiment and get to shoot guns all the same
>>much less PT MUCH
So less PT is a good thing in a combat role?

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just gonna post this>>33910244

>>33910309
I'm exaggerating, RAF defence regiments have a good level of PT it's just slightly less than the regulars/reservists.

>>33910309
They dont really go on land now do they.
Only time when they do use the land is when they fuck each other in the ass.

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>>33910244
and this

>>33908222
Shieeet. I had a diagnosis of depression in 2011 and still managed to enlist in 2012. When they asked me about it, I just said that "depression" was overstating it, and I meant I was a little sad.

>>33910244
Can someone please explain why raf is gay?
I'm a newfag who's been lurking for about a year but i still don't understand this.

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>>33908060
>>33908123
>>33908652
>>33909483
What is real eczema?

The Army rejects you for having it because apparently getting the smallpox vaccine while having eczema could kill you.

Every person I've ever met that said "oh yeah I have eczema", and it's been a lot, has just had rough skin on the back of their arms.
Not discolored, gross, or even visible, just kinda rough patches of skin.

Is this a case of people not knowing what real eczema is and misdiagnosing themselves or would a guy with a small bit of rough skin on the back of his arm really die from a smallpox vaccine?

>>33911338
The RAF itself is fine but the RAF Regiment is a joke, they think they are on par with the Paras and Royal Marines despite being less able than any Army infantry battalion.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nO9CbsiWqzQ

>>33908060
why not join the navy ?

hayfeaver and exzema also can't you get natural amunity that shit of get rid of it over time???

>>33910327
ok i feel stupid i have to ask but is this real?

>>33912970
Im sure if he wanted to be in a small overcrowded space with semen everywhere he'd just go down the local Spearmint Rhino

>>33913067
Nah, they only do biscuits and tea for elevenses.

>>33908060
>telling the military about medical history and being honest

you brought this on yourself. should have said you didn't have either of those things.

>>33913067
Yes, it was supposedly on a bustop board in Watford, North of London.

Allegedly, don't take my word for it.

>Tfw lied about doing drugs
>Tfw commissioned now, too late to admit to it, even though I never would
>Tfw always worry that I'll need to take a lie detector test at some point

Do pilots ever take lie detector tests? I smoked pot a few times during the summer in college, DXM, and tried NBOMe once. Haven't done it in years, but I think I'll always be slightly worried.

>>33908095
>Wants to joins the british army
Its like you want to be decapitated by a sandnigger, or you are one?

>>33908060
You do realise you can appeal a medical defferal within 180 days? Just say you ticked a box wrong, that online questionnaire is the biggest heap of bollocks. For example by ticking the Eyes box for short sight youre ticking the same box as being blind, colourblind, wall-eyed and having glaucoma.

go to school and work hard to make something of yourself.

>>33913151
More yankee doodles have been mutilated than brits m8. Reminds me of a certain blackwater team on a certain bridge outside fallujah

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>can't get into Navy due to crohns despite being physically fit otherwise
>can't even get into RNR(I admittedly I haven't ACTUALLY tried to join either because they would just reject me instantly)
>no waivers because this isn't surge era Clapistan

hold me lads

>>33908060

i have generalized eczema, its all over my body.

i was in the middle of applying for US army/Marines when i realized this would not end well, even if i miraculously got an exemption.

the dream is over, i'll just set up some larp airsoft range.

>>33914129
Congratulations on your 9 tours, 37 medals, being headhunted by the CIA and also being the infamous second man on the balcony

>>33914203

nigga what

i just want play airsoft in a town of jumpy castles

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>>33913151
>Its like you want to be decapitated by a sandnigger

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>be in high school
>sign up at recruiter to go be a muhreen because I was an impressionable 18 year old
>put through PT after school with the recruitment center
>get injured during wrestling practice
>they tell me "sorry lol"
>feel like I'll never fulfill my desire for adventure/shooting at sandniggers

I went to college, started trying harder and got into med school. Going to try to apply to the Navy's scholarship program to become a military physician I guess.