How to survive on a cruise ship

>>33840368
Bump

>>33840368
Make noise.

>>33840597
What he said.
Cruise ships tend to be pretty crowded.
Best option is to keep to yourself and not stand out from the crowd

>>33840368
ALASKA
L
A
S
K
A

>>33840368
don't fall off the ship
there are no psychopaths on cruises, only fat people and alcoholics

>>33840770
This.
OP your much more likely to be killed by shitting your entire lower intestine out from some bad cruise food and defective water purifier than to be killed by the imposters.

It's supposed to be a vacation. If you won't relax, don't waste your time or money.

>>33840368
Become the psychopath.

>>33840932
This, You cant get pushed off the boat and killed if you push them off first.

>>33840763
Please don't come here. Tourism season has started and I can't tell the difference between flight seeing helicopters and Norko Mi-24 Hind

>>33840989
>not taking potshots at both
Also Norks don't have enough fuel to heat their homes, much less a helicopter carrier

>>33840368
They are very rigorous about rooting out alcohol but other then that there us pretty lax security when boarding. Break down your pistol to as small as you can make it and hide it within other items.

>slide goes pocket of jeans you've affixed with an ass ton of chains
>grip and trigger assembly in a religious item, urns make the best containers

The best you can do is a bladeless multitool.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxMZ9HC2dog

>>33840368
HAhahahah fuck thats funny, because i just booked a cruse for this summer knowing you are from /k/ should be easy to spot considering you made this thread i already have a picture of how you might look in my mind

im going to remember this thread when i am on the cruse and look for someone who is showing signs of this fear you have..

and im not even fucking kidding about the above either.
If i see you, i AM going to fuck with you.

do you get frisked when boarding? what is the likelihood of being able to bring in a small gun?

>>33841901
>do you get frisked when boarding? what is the likelihood of being able to bring in a small gun?
0%

Seriously, just don't.

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>>33840850
> Not bringing your own infowars water filter

>>33841932
assuming you're cruise personnel, tell me horror stories, anon
it seems like the navy but much worse all the time

>>33841901
You go through TSA and customs. Just as if you were going through an airport. It's a bad idea all around.

>>33840368
The ship is nothing to really worry about other than drunk fucks and nigs afraid of water. When you make port in another country, that's a whole different ball game. Stick to the tourist areas. Don't try and explore the outskirts of a port town in a third world country. Don't go looking for drugs or asking about the cartel. You will get mugged, or stabbed, or wake up with no kidneys, or pull a hat trick and get all three.

Also, stick to bottled beverages.

>>33842084
>You go through TSA
So you're saying the chance is high?

>>33842084
isn't the crew generally shanghai'd shitskins who want less to do with you than you do with them, and should generally have contact limited to the minimum?
because thats what I've heard for most all big cruise ships that go innaocean, especially around the caribbean

>>33842095
>So you're saying the chance is high?
Only if you think 100% counts as "high".

>>33841932
>>33842084
thx I had no idea that standards are like boardign a plane, makes absolute sense of course. I wonder if there are armed sec guards on b oard, logic dictates that there are

>>33842110
The only ones who speak English are in service positions, I think this is by design. Plus most of the crew work really shit shifts so you're unlikely to even see them when they're not working.

>>33842175
>5k people
>floating city
>more or less alone for at least a week
fuck yeah there's armed security somewhere. wonder if boat marshals are a thing.

>>33842175
>I wonder if there are armed sec guards on board, logic dictates that there are
Probably not armed with guns. Armed security gets really convoluted when you're in another country's territorial waters or ports. You can bet they're some scary motherfuckers though.

>>33842203
>water bouncers
fucking lol
so you seem to know quite a bit about being onnaship, and you're presumably not a shitskin, so; ship bartender?

wear a life vest and CC an orion flare gun

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>>33840368
Go camping instead.

>>33842223
No, I've been on more than a few cruises (overrated imo, they were freebies), and I live in a port city in the US so my friends have worked for cruise lines and shipping companies.

>>33842190
Never understood cruises. At best it's like a floating Hotel but more likely it's a Motel that costs as much as a hotel in whatever shithole country you want to visit.

>>33842254
is it the fact that there's a fuckload of other people that makes it shit, or is it just holiday inn quality?

>>33842274
Both, really. Some trips are better than others.

The cabins aren't exactly luxury accommodations in general, but if you're spending time there other than sleeping you're either sick, getting lucky, or need to quit being an autistic shut-in and go on deck. Alcohol will help with any of these situations.

Food is usually pretty good, but don't go expecting a 24-hour crab leg buffet or anything, no matter what they promise you.

On the ship, everything is fucking crowded all the time. When you get off at a port, there are some pretty cool things you can do depending on where you go. I'd stay away from the inclusive day resort lay-on-a-beach-and-get-hammered shit. Find a historical tour or go snorkeling (or diving, if you're certified). But mostly, it just gets boring and feels fake, like most touristy things in life.

>>33840368
Make 'em walk the plank

Cruise was awesome... Get drunk and easy way too much.... Worry more about the ports of call... Don't spend extra for the fancy room.

Unless your cruising off the cost of best Korea or in the Med you should be fine.

That was the only thing I worried about on my Italian cruise was terrorists. That and Italian captains.

Your best bet would be to barricade your room door and get low.

Other than that, I would highly recommend learning to swim.

>>33840989
Jesus fucking christ you delusional fuck. You're more likely to get a flyby from fucking Kiowas than anything north korean or chinese

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>>33840368
Pic related.

>>33840368
That's not something to worry about.

Worry about the ship losing power and you getting stuck for a week in a floating hotel with no fresh water, safe food, and a failing sewage system.

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be a shitty cook.

>>33841981
>Overspending on Alex Jone's trash when you can just go to REI.

>>33840368
You know they do metal detectors going onto a cruise ship right?

So it's like prison except they're not controlling all the things you can turn into a weapon.

So sharpen up your prison shank crafting abilities and hold your sphincter tight and enjoy the all you can eat breakfast bar bacon nigga.

Also I've been on 5 cruises and never had any problem.

Some undercover LEO in one of the Caribbean islands tried to get me to buy weed, a QT girl in Cozumel grabbed my hand and tried putting a hand made bracelet on me but I lost my nerve, spilt spaghetti, said 'het' and walked away.
In Puerto Rico I met a somewhat inebriated islander that was talking about all the cruise ships coming and going and about how someone was going to get hurt.
I just stood there and nodded as I sipped the 7up that was made from partially desalinated water as he drank from his brown paper wrapped bottle.

>>33842184
The crews are very overworked. The cute girl bringing you food has no free time to flirt with your ass. Unless she is running sports or games, and even then she has somewhere to be right afterward.
There's a reason they are all 3rd/ former 2nd worlders.

>>33841901
Just stick the gun in your underpants. Nobody wants to find out if that budge in your pants is because you're excited to see them.

>>33844706
I had this QT Ukrainian lady as our waitress at the seated dinners, but I was too awkward to try anything and ended up figuring she had a boyfriend at home.

>>33842239
>Go to the natural home of serial killers instead

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>>33844592
be the best cook.

>>33840368
Just take a file and a bar of metal, sharpen it into a shiv and stay in your cabin for the duration of it. Should be relatively safe.

>>33844706
The cute waitress might not have time for you. But I'll bet she couldn't resist my ass. I'd have her coming to my room on her down time in no time.

How long does it take to hone your body into a weapon from scratch? I've relied on my gun for too long. I need to be prepared to go without it.

>>33844775
Just get an online diploma

>>33844843
I tried already, but wasn't able to pass the final exam. I lack focus.

But that failing of mine is besides the point. I don't need a sharp mind, but a strong body and a set of reflexes that will make me a weapon.

Credit card knife

>>33844875

I've gotcha buddy.

All you have to do is take it in the ass and get the AID's.

Boom and your a chemical weapon. How cool is that eh? eh?

>>33840989
get good skrub

>>33844598
>implying REI isn't overpriced

>>33844898
My mom actually died from AIDS. It's a miracle I never caught it in the womb.

>>33844901
>Compared to Psycho Jones' snake oil
It works, at least.

>>33844901
Their store brands are properly priced for their quality and are generally rebrands of name-brand stuff.

Otherwise go to the store to try on or fingerfuck stuff then buy it on amazon.

Most cruise ships I've been to have had high walls so you can't even fall off

>>33840368
Sailor here, the best thing to do is not go over the fucking side.

Only retards can't figure out how railings work

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>>33840850

root around closets until you find a claymore and a tommy gun, then bait your assailant into the bathroom and fuck his day up.

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Leave two-liters to me

>>33846344
Shit, wrong thread. Ignore this.

>>33846344
Keep the hood safe H

>>33845090
It probably doesn't actually filter fluoride but it's an overpriced ceramic filter, they work fine.

>>33840770

My brother is a legit psychopath, he goes on cruises with us at least twice a yr, just so we can keep an eye on him. So please, don't act like people with mental disorders don't go on that shit.

Why would you even go on a cruise at all if you're worried about that lol. Good.luck concealed carrying though, that'd be the mistake of your life.