Story time

>wife notices tv is on
>you haven't paid your tv license
>she calls police
>police ask if she asked the man of the house if she could use the telephone, as per sharia requires
>they come and publicly stone her to death in my lawn
>open up nerf gun
>ounce of weed taped to the receiver

>police look at each other for a moment
>"we'll let you off this time, but next time you better have meth"
>phew.jpg
>cops leave with gun and weed
>feelsbadman.jpg

>as they turn away, they notice my pocket knife protruding from my pocket
>Oi, bin that knife m8
>lie to them and tell them that this is all that I could afford for a beheading knife
>"oh, sorry sir"
>go back inside and call the internet people to unlock interracial cuck porn on my computer for 30 minutes as I am stressed out

Quality shitposten

>jerking it when I hear a loud crash
>someone broke into my living room through a window with my gender-neutral lawn gnome
>he has a knife, a big rusty one that wasn't affected by #binthatknife
>whatafuckingday.jpg
>shout "OI YOU WANNA BE LIKE THAT YOU WANKER!?"
>reach for knife, but it isn't there
>fuck, I left it next to my Quran
>instead, reach into my pocket and pull out my 4-foot government issued dragon dildo

>>33784438
>€1,000
>>33784438
>Britbong

Since when was britbongistan in the euro?

top tier shitposting

File: 6WoA5zm.jpg (1MB, 2048x1972px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 2048x1972px

>>33784438
Quality

File: 1478548585349.jpg (323KB, 688x900px) Image search: [Google]

323KB, 688x900px

This thread is making me nostalgic for the UK