Anyone have any actual alphabet horror stories?

>>33744513
>Anyone have any actual alphabet horror stories?
I was slow in school and I really couldn't recite my ABCs until the 2nd grade

File: mb.jpg (21KB, 367x332px) Image search: [Google]

21KB, 367x332px

>>33744513
Yes, if you google my name, some old guy who paints buffalo comes up. Every single job interview I have ever had involves them asking if I paint anything but buffalo.

I'm like that Michael Bolton character in Office Space, only somehow even more lame.

>>33744691
>Why should I have to change my name? He's the one who sucks

When I was working in a my college library a decade ago, an FBI lady came in to ask for check out records of a student.

Only time I've ever met alphabet in person.

>>33744569
In college a friend of mine got pulled over after leaving a party and was asked to recite part of the alphabet for the field sobriety test.

He failed miserably and tried to get out of it by saying "I don't know my ABCs that well, officer."

He got arrested for DWI.

One of our friends was buddies with a lot of cops and knew how to do evidence/public records requests, so he got the dash cam footage and we played it at parties. Shit was hilarious.

File: zardoz.jpg (234KB, 1200x918px) Image search: [Google]

234KB, 1200x918px

>win decently sized lottery
>determine how much should go to fun, savings, bills, investing
>buy wheelbarrow load of pieces on gun broker over the following weeks
>BATFE agent shows up a month later and asks what's up with all the purchases
>explain the situation
>asks to come inside
>politely decline
>end
>had to put down dog due to illness
fucking atf


>friend goes to buy gun at fun store the local law trains at
>stops giving his social on 4473s over theft concerns
>gets call and comes back in to pick up handgun after waiting period
>place is packed with .mil and leo looking types, not unusual
>gets to counter, gives his name and gets tackled by a half dozen cops
>spends rest of evening verifying his identity at police station
>friend somehow has same name as escaped violent felon who is wanted for well over a decade
>apparently authorities decided that after background check came back requiring scrutiny by virtue of the name, the fact that the physical descriptions were close outweighed the different place of birth and date because a felon would totally give a correct name and description but lie about the rest or something
>detective drives him to ER afterwards to get his shoulder looked at, says state will foot the bill
>no injury
>gun store refuses to do business with him and bans him when he gets upset
>he gives his social now
>gets the ER bill in the mail a month later


>>33744750
Do you have some obligation to participate in field sobriety tests in your state? He doesn't sound too bright so it probably wouldn't have changed anything.

>>33745060
does your area require the lotto ticket winner to be not anonymous? I hear they try to force you to have your picture and shit on camera.

One guy came in a sasquatch suit and one asshole camera man tried to yank off his mask so Sasquatch went to hammering on that asshole.

>>33745060
>Do you have some obligation to participate in field sobriety tests in your state? He doesn't sound too bright so it probably wouldn't have changed anything.

Sort of, in Texas. You can refuse but we have implied consent, meaning if you're driving it is implied that you consent to a sobriety test if asked.

If you refuse, your license gets automatically administratively revoked for 90-180 days, even if you aren't found guilty of any crime. It is different from a criminal suspension in that your license is automatically reinstated after the term once you pay a reinstatement fee of $125. It falls under civil law, is not considered a criminal suspension for background checks/commercial license applications, can be appealed, and is completely independent of the criminal court system where your DUI/DWI case may be.

But no he wasn't too bright, he also said his allergies were really bad when the officer mentioned that his eyes looked glassy. It was January.

Your friend sounds like he needs to talk to the biggest nosed lawyer he can find. For the ER bill that is. Not much he can do about the gun store.

>>33744513
Used to work inna gun shop.

Got annual audit by dog killers..

Everything went smooth.

>>33745242
you give em drinks and let them use the bathroom or was it curt and awkward?
Would you share food on taco thursday audit?

>>33744513
Better question: When does the last time the BATFE actually dealt with anything involving alcohoo or tobacco, but not firearms or explosives?

>>33745264
im sure the eastcoast does a lot of out of state cigarette no nos for nanny states that love cig tax.

>>33745264
When Discovery Channel was still airing that moonshining show, they followed an ATF agent around for some of it.

File: IMG_3979.jpg (68KB, 300x300px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 300x300px

>>33744513
>be bloodtype AB
>be blind
>I can't c

>>33744513
no but I just found an ATF honeypot when dicking around on youtube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0JwIUeBXig

The ATF visited my father once looking for his wife, who had recently left him. Apparently a couple guns in her name were found in a drug bust on the other end of the state or something.

File: 102qyqp.gif (852KB, 640x360px) Image search: [Google]

852KB, 640x360px

>>33745201
I want to know more about this because it sounds like bullshit.

>>33745201
If it was Powerball/Megamillions they are required under Federal law to demand photo ID to pay out over $499.99 in winnings. I believe there is some bullshit disclaimer somewhere in the rules that states over a certain amount or any jackpot winnings you automatically agree to have your name and likeness used for promotional materials with no compensation.

State-level shit like scratch-offs vary but most places you have to prove your identity to cash anything over $500, and you can only do so at [wherever your state's lottery treasury is], can't do it at the gas station, and you have a set amount of time (usually 180 days) from either some arbitrary date printed on each lottery ticket, or from when you purchased it (GL proving that) to do so.

>>33745307

I feel ashamed for laughing at something so lazy

>>33745314

>those comments

What kind of youtube commenter comment like that?

NSA hosted a pizza party/career info session at my college

theyre all skinny nerds
lol

>>33744513
>bought gun from LGS
>store was raided a few months later because of various illegal business practices
>get a knock on the door from some suits
>checking serial numbers because apparently the LGS was forging certain numbers on certain things
Everything checked out, so they left shortly thereafter.

File: are you fucking joking.jpg (173KB, 584x305px) Image search: [Google]

173KB, 584x305px

>>33745314
Shit. Fuck. Fuck you.

Now I have to go into thought about this. This would be good to take isolated full auto sound effects on; that's set up impeccably. However, I don't want to favorite it or add it to a Youtube playlist if it'll get me on a list, least of all just bookmarking it.

THANKS ANON

>>33745439
copy/paste the URL to notepad.

Back in the day, a buddy of mine's brother, and a shady friend of his got nailed by the ATF for buying a fuckton of Marlboros from Albania or some other old com-bloc country to avoid taxes.

Long, boring story short, They ended up paying the taxes, a large fine, and the cigs were confiscated.

Biggest asshole in the world asks to buy antitank rockets from me because a friend of mine once knew someone who had snaked some in 'Nam. Now, this asshole is my worst enemy, and I don't have any damn antitank rockets. So, i'm working on recording this guy (felon, currently in prison for burglary, kidnapping, and attempted murder) giving me a hard offer of money for product. Ass Wheeze also sends a picture of his dumb ass with a fucking Thompson SMG while on probation. I report that shit to ATF. Normally, I'd be happy if someone was hiding a Thompson... But not this fuckstick.
Turns out the fellow he was riding around with was an ATF informant and he was trying to get me busted over antitank rockets I never had. Yeah, my ass is going to be living in a goddamn singlewide trailer of I am dealing heavy weapons. So, ATF was trying to bust me busting him. Big mess.
Oh well, the path to the antitank rockets leads right to my buddy's spook ex-wife... She outrank s the ATF. Fun was had by all.

>>33745264
Surprisingly enough they do actually mess around with that. When I used to work at a really shitty gas station in highschool we had two guys from the ATF come to talk to my manager about the owner. Don't know what they talked about, I'm assuming it was tobacco related, but it pissed my manager off that he yelled at them to leave. Not sure what became of that situation, but they never came back on one of my shifts.

>>33745314
Jesus christ.
That is a sting if i have ever seen a sting before in my life.
Like holy fuck.

>>33745314
How many people do they actually catch with this obvious honeypots? I'm assuming a lot.

File: 1487922985007.jpg (22KB, 317x267px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 317x267px

>>33746121
>ass wheeze

>>33746349
you are probably right considering that people are dumb enough to fall for the scams where you have to pay an obscure fine with a 500$ itunes gift card the masterfully crafted youtube video and totally legit comments with the description saying that they are not ATF or FBI would fool a surprising number of people, the other more frightening possibility is that this is not a sting or honeypot and that someone actually is doing this and people are buying pre made letters of constructive intent for 50$ and having them delivered to their door.

>>33746680
>literally saying "not BATF or FBI" in the description
>anyone falling for it

>>33745314
So how shot is my dog just for having watched that?

>>33745314
It's just a lightening link you autistic fucks

>>33744569

I couldn't tie my shoes until 3rd year. My mum kept trying to show me the more complicated "loop and swoop" method. Then one day my dad showed me the bunny ears method and I could do it easily.

>>33744719
>an FBI lady

Was she hot?

>>33744750
>party
Degenerate.

>>33746693
Think about the average person then remember that statistically about half of all people are dumber then they are.
>>33746719
It is just a lightning link but it is more so the fact that someone is selling mail order kits on how to make them that include blanks for the actual bottle openers.

>>33746753
>bunny ears
hahahahahahahhahah
loop and swoop was always easier for me, idk wtf

>>33746775
there are dumb people, there are really dumb people who will reply to honeypots, and there are extremely dumb people who will reply to honeypots that even go to the effort of referring to the ATF as it's full acronym, the BATF.

someone saying "i'm not with the BATF" is like saying "i'm not with NSA" instead of "i'm not with the NSA".

>>33745284
There was a Virginia to Delaware to NYC and Albany cigarette smuggling ring that was funding some durka group in the last 5 years that got busted. The Albany cell leader had rpg's and was looking for bigger

File: 1443765371179.jpg (73KB, 710x781px) Image search: [Google]

73KB, 710x781px

>>33746121
>Ass Wheeze
I'm gonna steal this

>>33746753
Holy shit man, me too!
Only it wasn't tabun you ears but realizing that it was a slightly modified box knot.

And my dad taught me fuck all.

>>33745264
They come to the bar i work at to try to trap bartenders into serving minors

>>33745314

Fucking lol, this is terrible.

My friend was was getting his background checked for TS clearance and a government type came to my house to interview me for it. I made him stand outside while it was raining

>>33744513
Work at a gun store and had regular ATF compliance work and audits.
For the most part they were nice enough and one guy was just as pro gun/anti gov regs as any of us. He wanted to change it from inside.

File: IMG_0059.jpg (44KB, 480x490px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 480x490px

>>33744513
I had an FBI special agent come to my work and give a presentation on how you will be caught if you're corrupt.

>>33744513
Got a TS clearance in the Navy (they actually give them out like candy; not a big deal). Came home on leave, neighbors wanted to know why the FBI came to talk to them about me and nuclear things.

you think the ATF is bad to gun owners, stores, ranges, and manufacturers. go talk to someone that is trying to setup a nano/micro brewery.

friend from my army days tried to set up a small brewing setup in a pizza place he bought. fucking ATF, FDA, etcetc were a pain in his ass every day for a year.

>>33744691
>>33744703
>No-talent Ass Clown

>>33746768
You seem fun.

File: IMG_1838.jpg (53KB, 800x522px) Image search: [Google]

53KB, 800x522px

>>33744569
Same here. I repeated the first grade

>>33752886
I was curious on what it takes to set up a small brewery and yeah I decided it would not be worth the effort after about 10 mins of google searching. Wouldn't want to do it anyhow the last thing the pacific northwest needs is another microbrewery.

I wasnt present but at a high powered rocketry club I'm with, apparently a fed showed up and was checking people for ematches. They are technically illegal, he basically said they know why we are using them and to keep them out of sight. Overall bretty good experience I guess.

>>33744513
Not a horror story, more of a whore story.

>be in the army, in trailer park barracks
>same slut every week claims rape on somebody
>see CID every weekend, think army NCIS
>same chick always came to door, pretty hot in civies
>asks if we know about the rapes
>start throwing bantz until she leaves
>always had a habit of showing up at peak hangover

Well that was a pretty useless story, but got a bit of nostalgia.

>>33752853
buddy at work told the story of when he got his TS clearance, feds interviewed 3 of his ex gfs, he was an army brat anyways so they had to interview neighbors across like 5-6 states

uncle sam literally has nothing better to do

>>33746754
7/10 Asian lady

>>33745314
The comments are a gold mine, either other cops or idiots. Also anytime I see a federal agent named Bill I want to banepost them.

>>33746753
>bunny ears
heathen

>>33753416
We had NCIS show up in our COP in Afghanistan. They approached a buddy who was running the gambling there (poker, roulette and Monopoly) asking about the poker games. Buddy just about shit himself but it turns out NCIS just wanted in on the games so it was all cool. He was really just investigating some old lady that got shot in a fire fight.

>>33751983
>currently engineering student
>thinking about doing this
>go to work in firearms technical branch
>this is a brace not a stock
>i don't know what you're talking about this gun isn't full auto
>etc

>>33746753
I'm in the same boat.
Everyone that tried to show me how always did it at the same speed they tie their own shoes, then someone showed me the bunny ears.

I eventually figured out loop and swoop in highschool.

>>33755430
>i don't know what you're talking about this gun isn't full auto
What's this one, bumpfire stocks?

>>33745264
They sell untaxed cigarettes to pay for NASCAR luxury booths and to donate money to private schools we can't afford.

>>33755444
I couldn't tie my own shoes until I was 13. Every time my dad tried to teach me he would do the same thing (doing it at the speed he did it normally), and then he would scream at me and hit me once I got it wrong.

I ended up learning how to tie my shoes thanks to some guy from the IRS. They were investigating my Aunt and one of them noticed I couldn't tie my shoes. Nice guy, I'd have a beer with him.

>>33744513
>Teacher, Teacher! I hafta go potty!
> Now Anon, you're supposed to to raise your hand and ask to go to the bathroom
Two minutes elapse with my arm trembling in the air
>Yes Anon?
>Can I please go use the potty?
>Anon, it's "May I go to the restroom?".
> Teacher, may I go to the restroom?
> Since you had so much trouble asking correctly and properly, recite your ABCs and you may go to the restroom.
>Um A, B, C um D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, um Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z
>Anon, what happened to the P?

> It's running down my leg.

>>33746768
Social

>>33755281
> gambling
> monopoly
Don't emotions run high in that game without money involved?

File: 1492397795104m.jpg (108KB, 748x1024px) Image search: [Google]

108KB, 748x1024px

>>33754916
>No qt asian federal agent GF

File: 1325397627584.jpg (33KB, 400x299px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 400x299px

>>33746784
>>33748826
>>33755276
>>33755444
>mfw mid twenties and still only know bunny ears for tying shoes

>>33744513
No, but I have a number horror story

7 8 9

>>33744513
I had the FBI visit me once, they were nice and all of my experiences with the ATF have been nice.

File: 1393124615505.gif (426KB, 363x339px) Image search: [Google]

426KB, 363x339px

I used to work in the alcohol industry and later the firearms industry. It was usually the smaller things like inventory discrepancies that could get you into serious trouble, even if you had no ill intentions.
Alcohol:
>ATF checked all paperwork concerning production quantities versus quantities loaded onto trucks and shipped minus lost/ruined quantities
>any unplanned or one-off (experimental) batches that could be for sale would have to be accounted for and any extra had to be dumped out in front of an agent
>agents would literally tell us to open small batch tanks in front of them to verify they were empty and clean
>any shifting of stock from one department to another to cover demand meant moving product from a taxed (onsite sales) jurisdiction to an differently (offsite sales) jurisdiction, meaning it was technically tax avoidance every time it happened
>alcohol content had to be accurate to two decimal places during ATF testing, even though the legal requirement is 1 decimal place and anyone in the industry would tell you determining accuracy beyond that is optimistic
>Treasury Department (through TTB) has jurisdiction over alcoholic beverages in addition to ATF, and they usually don't place nice with each other plus they each have vague and conflicting rules and regulations they enforce at random
>multiple sting attempts from state police on bartenders, they tried to get me on two occasions and I was fine but one girl got BTFO (fired immediately, $10,000 court fees for her, can never serve alcohol again, company was fined $250,000 for first offense)
Firearms:
>make fun tubes that make guns go pew-pew instead of bang-bang
>every employee is on an ATF list due to occupation (seriously)
>serial numbers printed on outer tube and the internal parts like baffles are not counted as the suppressor, so only the tube is the legal suppressor
>sometimes screwed up tubes are miscounted and we have an inventory discrepancy for items that net years of jail time each
>mfw

>>33755693
this. dont get me started on changing the pieces too.

Fuck it I call the battleship.

>>33756382
>years of jail time each.

damn pols and gangsters from the 30s did this!

>Be me, 17 years old
>Be in trade school for regional high schools
>Weld shop is best shop
>Someone brings in an airport pistol, CO2 style
>Within 2 weeks, 12 airlift guns in weld shop
>Teacher doesn't care as long as we aren't actively getting maimed
>Teacher hates faculty and loves when we cause problems
>End up with tons of empty CO2 canisters
>One guy brings in waterproof cannon fuse and smokeless powder
>OH SHIT NIGGA YES
>Someone brings in bottle rockets
>We make some grenades and a few canisters get fins welded to them to become RPGs
>Fast forward, go out to inna mountain town to hang out with weld shop buddies.
>Buddy's grandfather needs some forest beaten back
>We got this
>Drink moonshine and use a bunch of explosives to clear land
>Mop up brush with bobcat anyways
>Still have a couple grenades
>"Who wants to go fishing?"
>Fuck yeah fresh fish for dinner
>Get busted fishing with explosives
>Ranger lets us go after taking,our names down
>Three weeks pass and two FBI agents show up with four sheriff's deputies
>We are actively playing baseball with the biggest dildo I have ever seen
>Playing in the shop, as a class, like regards
>Individual interviews, I assume that the FBI agents kept their heads in their hands the entire time
>They sure as hell did for my interview
>Pretty sure we were the reason for those agents to drink that night
>Nothing comes of it
>Get asked about it four years later when a completely unrelated friend goes for his top secret clearance

All I got, met them once, pretty sure my classmates and I raised their blood pressure by 20% that day.

>Be me
>Be working for company that does records storage/destruction for multiple alphabet soup agencies
>Be working for a division in the Baltimore/Washington DC Metro
>Lots of ABC agency contracts
>Be driving through DC from one job to another
>DC traffic + Construction = Lost driver
>Driver takes truck down near White House
>A wild group of Secret Service cars appear
>Pull over thinking there's a motorcade passing through. It's DC. It happens.
>Nothing comes. Continue on.
>Immediate WOOP WOOP
>Pull over again
>Repeat 2x more.
>Finally tell driver I'm going to figure out what's going on
>Go to jump out of truck.
>Feet hit the ground and there's guys out of Secret Service cars with hands on hip
>Instant Hands on head.
>"Come here."
>Approach. Suddenly surrounded by about 7 Secret Service guys.
>Explain situation. They know the company but are still suspicious.
>Driver starts walking up
>Hands in pockets
>"Get your hands out of your pockets!"
>"Hands out of your pockets!!"
>Secret Service guys start reaching for weapons and moving into a shooting position.
>Hands back on my head now
>"GET YOUR HANDS OUT!"
>Driver manages to find cigs and lighter.
>Approaches very unhappy Secret Service guys.
>Explains.
>Story matches.
>Cursory glance over truck
>They're satisfied.
>We leave with a warning not to drive in that area again.

Same company but from another driver.

>Guy drives up to a facility.
>Gate guys ask for ID.
>Comes up with pocket lint
>Fuck
>"I left my ID at home."
>Suddenly is laying facedown on concrete with about 4 M-16's pressed against his head.
>His father is an employee at the facility
>Starts yelling to get his Dad.
>Gate guy calls it in. Dad comes out
>Dad verifies identity.
>They let driver go and deny company entry for the day.
>Drivers dad calls that night and tells him that if he ever does it again he's going to let the guys at the gate blow his brains across the pavement.

One more if interested.

>>33756642
Go on

>>33756642
In interested, your stories are way better than mine was

>>33756481
Fort Covington, NY?

>>33756728
Western Washington, not gonna go into any more details than that

Last ones for tonight

>Be at range with K98, Enfield, other WWII toys.
>Guy comes up
>Says his son has been playing a game with those guns in it but is shy.
>CoD 2 had just come out
>Tell his son to come over.
>Set him up with about 15-20 rounds on each
>Start talking to his Dad.
>Guy is one of the main contractors who rebuilt the Pentagon after 9/11
>Swap info
>Get a special daylong guided tour of Pentagon from him.

After getting to know this guy a bit more...

>Buddy of mine works at local college in MD.
>Claims he's got a permit to carry in MD and anywhere else he wants because his father works for an ABC agency.
>Call BS. MD is anti-gun. Besides, he's not his father.
>Relate story to Pentagon-bro
>Pentagon-bro offers to look him up in system he uses for potential employees.
>Has good access since they still do contract work at Pentagon after making repairs.
>Don't tell college buddy.
>Get a call a week or so later from Pentagon-bro.
>File is above his level.
>Says that hasn't ever happened.
>Says he got a call later telling him to look for a different candidate.
>Couple of days later college buddy busts in.
>"WHO THE FUCK DID YOU TALK TO!?"
>Wut.jpg
>Explains that some suits came by and had a very strict conversation about security with him
>Dad = Son_I_am_Disappoint.jpg

Same college buddy. This just solidified things.

>Trash Pandas had been stealing dog food
>Trap Trash Panda
>His mom wants it taken and released
>Trash Panda is not happy and is trying to attack him through cage
>Buddy says "Fuck this"
>Shoots Trash Panda in cage
>Bullet travels through animal, through deck
>Hits secondary AC unit
>Says his father is pissed.
>Ask why he's got two for the size of house
>OhFuck.jpg = His face
>Don't ask any further.

Living in the Baltimore/DC area (Intersection of 295 [Baltimore Washington Parkway] and MD 32 if you want specifics) led to some interesting times.

>>33746121
>Oh well, the path to the antitank rockets leads right to my buddy's spook ex-wife... She outranks the ATF

What in the fuck.

>>33756382
Why the fuck are the ATF so fucking stringent on shit like that with alcohol production, are these assholes still under the assumption that prohibition is in effect?

Not alphabet.

>A friend of mine was an ffl
>Had huge gun collection
>Safes and cabinets
>Got divorced
>Was depressed, called sister to vent
>Mentioned no life without wife
>Sister called cops
>The police showed up and confiscated everything not in a safe.

He eventually got it all back but that was some messed up shit.

>>33756785
any idea what agency your friends dad worked for? Theres some spooky stuff out there man, my dad used to do something with military intelligence and was allowed to carry on airplanes and shit. Hes still pretty hushhush about it, doubt it was secret squirrel shit though

>>33757072
closet thing i got is a school friend had a dad who was pretty senior in teh US marshals so he had some cool mp5s back in the heyday of mp5s.

>>33755281
>buddy who was running the gambling there (poker, roulette and Monopoly)
>betting money on Monopoly
So how many of the players ended up fragged by the end of your tour?

>>33745264
One of my old college friends sold alcohol to an undercover ATF agent and got fired from Chipotle.
There was a dad in my old Scout troop that was ATF and used to hire some of the scouts to try to by cigs while underage.

File: 1416654957149.gif (492KB, 236x177px) Image search: [Google]

492KB, 236x177px

>>33744513
Someone told someone me and my bro were making fullretard saltguns they told the atf and an atf guy showed up...even called 1st like a week before and asked politely went the extra step of telling us we could get a lawyer if we wanted to before he came in the house.
He was super super polite didnt even murder any of our dogs.
I think i was making a face like this the whole time....didnt know what the fuck to do thought shit was about to hit the fan.
He said everything looked legal.
He gave me an atf seal sticker when he was leaving like i was a retarded or a kid.

File: tumblr_inline_o4tsj0RKKN1r0rsp2_400.jpg (61KB, 398x582px) Image search: [Google]

61KB, 398x582px

>>33757590
>He gave me an atf seal sticker when he was leaving like i was a retarded or a kid.

>>33757590
>Delores Del Ruby
>saw the name
>thought it was a reference to ruby ridge because atf thread
>is actually just some character from a thing i've never heard of but that's pretty cool
turned out better than expected tbqhbijgetfwtlaidrkiyttiarabittaw

>>33757590
>He gave me an atf seal sticker when he was leaving like i was a retarded or a kid.
I hope you stuck it on the fullretard saltgun or whatever it was you were making. That would be worth a giggle at the range.

Sometime in the future, ATF looks at your stash.
>What's this sticker for?
>The last one of you guys that did this gave it to me to save time next time.

>>33756938
>Why the fuck are the ATF so fucking stringent on shit like that with alcohol production, are these assholes still under the assumption that prohibition is in effect?
This applies to tobacco too.
90% of the answer to that is taxes.
The other 10% is that amateur-hour alcohol kills people dead, if it doesn't just blind them. Happens in 2nd/3rd world countries all the time.

>>33756876
If CIA needs some anti-tank rockets to fall off the back of a truck and end up in the hands of insurgents fighting a proxy war against the USSR...ATF ain't gotta say in it.

>>33753416
lol, sounds like one of my ex soldiers from when I was stationed at Leavenworth. Every unit that has females has that one female though.

>>33756785
So what could that secondary unit be for?

>>33748519
source, want to read more

>>33757072
Oh yea. Almost everyone in that area works for the NSA which is attached to Ft. Meade.

Aberdeen Proving Ground isn't far. Ft Detrick (Bio-Weapons) was nearby, the Naval Surface Weapons Testing Facility was in Indian Head, MD. Annapolis Naval Academy is only about 30 minutes out from where we were. Lots of smaller, unlabeled buildings with heavy security here and there. Andrews AFB (Presidential aircraft) is also about 30 minutes away. Patuxent Naval Air Station handles lots of aerial research stuff.

The point is that regardless of where he worked, there's tons of stuff in the MD/VA corridor so I got to meet plenty of interesting folks.

>>33746775
>Think about the average person then remember that statistically about half of all people are dumber then they are.
Think about the average person then remember that statistically about half of all people are dumber than they are.
ftfy

>>33745376
Real ATF shills? Like real. You can see same sort of comments in the dozens of net scams.

>>33746702
kek

>>33755642
fuck you

>>33744513
Leaf here. Naturalized US citizen.

I was filling out paperwork for a security clearance to be sent off to the FBI. Name, address, birthplace, etc. A few months later, I have to go in and sign a few things to complete the process. "Here anon. Check this application for errors and sign." I had dutifully filled out Birthplace: Montreal, Quebec, Canada. Their form had Montgomery, Alabama. Fucking auto-complete on M O N T and an idiot clerk somewhere. They had to take it back, since the Canada entry should have triggered additional research on my naturalization status.

Years later, they conduct background interviews with friends and neighbors. They always say, "Please don't discuss this." But they talked to the neighborhood drunk down the street. He didn't get the story right and keep his mouth shut. The rumors now are everything from I am an FBI agent to I am a criminal wanted by the gov't.

>>33759647
Nobody cares about spelling errors on this site, pal

File: 65465.png (375KB, 572x464px) Image search: [Google]

375KB, 572x464px

>>33745314
>To all you nay sayers---POOH ON YOU!!
Im still laughing

File: 1435153019190.jpg (3MB, 1800x1440px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 1800x1440px

>>33757527
Benefits for living in Easter Europe.
I can send my underage brother right now to by a pack of smokes.
I can send a 8yo playing soccer under my window to get me a pack of smokes and beer.
My father who is a doctor makes moonshine like my grandfather did in his spare time and sells 99% of it.
He still has a garage full of moonshine that needs to be sold.

>>33744719
Did you ask for a warrant or written permission from the owners of the library?

>>33758136
>amateur-hour alcohol kills people dead, if it doesn't just blind them.
Knowing the difference between Methanol and Ethanol is the difference between life and death.

>>33753335
>Emaches are illegal.
Is this a new development? I remember buying them at Michaels when I was a lod

>>33745970

>the cigs were confiscated

F

>>33760234
When you go back for a visit you should make two different characters and use diffent ones for different people, then just sit back and enjoy.

>>33758304
Bunker/safe room probably.

File: image.jpg (33KB, 320x240px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 320x240px

>>33755562
My father was a monster too.

Holy fuck yes. I'm a state LEO who works on a fed task force, hence have tons of stories of alphabet agencies.

I'll stick to my best ATF ones.
>Working a case for the Fugitive Task Force, one of our dudes is also wanted by ATF
>Couple ATF guys join us for knock and talk
>Show up head to toe in 5.11 stuff, kinda arrogant, whatever
>In briefing it's made clear this is the guy's girlfriends house, we aren't sure he's there, no warrant, just a nice knock and talk
>Come up on house, set up descret perimeter
>Contact woman at door, like 50 years old.
>She's talking, suddenly gets wide eyed and asks us to leave
>Look over my shoulder, ATF agent has handgun out at barely low ready, basically pointed at woman
>Wtf
>Hear shouting from rest of house
>Run around, find ATF agent drawn down on elderly dude
>Wants to put the old dude in cuffs to "secure residence"
>The fuck
>Turns out fugitive and GF broke up a month ago, dude hadn't been there in ages

>>33758304
For the meat locker his dad stores corpses in.

>>33748519
I know both a guy who was involved with that investigation, and a dude who was on the other end. Was linked to Yemen i believe.

>>33745307
Top kek

>>33756642
>Drivers dad calls that night and tells him that if he ever does it again he's going to let the guys at the gate blow his brains across the pavement.

this is why I'd gladly shoot feds and private security guards who get uppity

>>33756282
kek'd

>>33761782
Wow what a bunch of motards

>>33758304
Cooling things

>>33744691
>he doesn't paint buffalo

Everyone check this nerd out

>>33761782
Part 2, ATF smashes in wrong house

>ATF serving warrant for some gun runners, our guy is affiliated with gang so we tag along
>On the way to house I'm reading over packet again
>1221 Elm or some such
>Turn on street
>We stop a few houses down to approach on foot
>ATF rigs keep going, ok they're going to stop on the other side so we bracket the house
>Keep going
>Wut
>Start to radio ATF guys to see whats up
>One ATF gets on radio and shouts MOVE MOVE
>Stop in front of house, bail out and go right in the house after busting in front door with a ram
>ohshit
>Start driving up to them while guys who look very gangbanger like start spilling out of 1221
>Turns out ATF hit the wrong house

Uncle lives in a small town, makes unnecessarily large binary explosives on his farm outside city limits. Some alphabet agency was in town for a bomb threat that turned out to be nothing. Local sheriff sent them over to his place, and they basically told him to knock that shit off and won't be as nice if they have to make a second visit.

Apparently, they actually do park 2 black SUVs in front of your front door when they show up.

As close as I've ever come

>>33761782
Part 3, the one that makes me see red and flat out refuse to work with the ATF ever, happened a couple years back
>Buddy is attached to their team, texting me about how retarded they are
>Hitting an apartment complex without any prior recon, really bad idea
>ATF team breeches apartment, no one home
>Buddy working perimeter with another couple ATF agents
>Agent waves car through, buddy thinking the fuck did this guy just let a civilian in a secured scene
>Car stops, dude gets out with a 9mm
>Buddy takes two rounds, one to the vest and one to the right leg, draws his weapon as he goes down and fires
>Agent fires (with my buddy behind the suspect, he doesn't know whether the round that whipped over his head was from suspect or ATF)
>Suspect survives despite being shot like 12 times cause lol9mm
>During debrief turns out ATF agent waved him through because he didn't bother to even look at the picture of the wanted individual
>ATF SAC basically shrugs it off saying "well no one was killed"
>Buddy medically retired cause permanent limp

ATF is a fucking joke, probably because they don't actually go after that many criminals and instead spend 95% of their time harassing and auditing gun stores and airshit importers who bring in those gas blow back rifles.

File: Ti57C1G.jpg (598KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

598KB, 1920x1080px

>>33756642
>Driver takes truck down near White House
>A wild group of Secret Service cars appear

Somehow I find this one hard to believe.
After purchasing an M923A2, my friend's GPS managed to take us past the White House and no one ever stopped me. I didn't even have plates on the thing.
Apparently a camo military truck rolling past the WH is status-quo.

>>33756995

>My brother is depressed and I'm worried he might kill himself
>Better have the cops raid his home and take everything not bolted down

>>33744750
i have a fear of being made to recite the abc backwards and arrested. not only english is not my first language, i can't even do that in my mother's tongue.

>>33764168
That's why women shouldn't be allowed to vote. They actually think the government is daddy.

>>33764180
There's an old joke about this.

>gee, sir, I couldn't recite the alphabet backwards even if I was sober
>neither can I, officer

>>33758304
>So what could that secondary unit be for?
Could be a same room but could equally be a server room.

>>33761519
>the owners of the library
Wouldn't that be the federal or state government?

>>33755562
>Nice guy, I'd have a beer with him.
he is nice so he can get closer to people.

>>33764135
You'd be surprised what's common near government bldgs

>>33753247
>>33755649
Birthday parties are decent, but if you go to parties and get drunk, then you are a vile degenerate.

>>33764430
> but if you go to parties and get drunk, then you are a vile degenerate.

Shut the fuck up nerd

>>33761556
>Knowing the difference between Methanol and Ethanol is the difference between life and death.
For sure but it's not just that, you can end up accidentally making methanol in the fermentation process if you don't know what you're doing.

Most of the below incidents are from substitutions by people who didn't know or care what they were doing but methanol can be produced by bacterial processes which means that it's a possibility in poorly sterlised fermentation. Of course, methanol is way cheaper than ethanol due to a lack of taxes, so trying to get ethanol out of it and put it back into your product is a way to save lots of money, even if the only reason for the savings is the alcohol taxes on ethanol in the first place.

Given the consequences though, it's pretty reasonable to have a government body oversee alcohol production. Just a shame that the tax incentive makes them into complete nazis about it when it should really be a health function.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_methanol_poisoning_incidents

>>33764135
>Apparently a camo military truck rolling past the WH is status-quo
That makes pretty good sense. Military looking vehicle without plates, they probably thought it was supposed to be there.

>>33764256
>Could be a same room
*safe room

>>33751216
That was an OPM agent, and they were just doing their job. You're a dick.

>>33744513
Some guy who tried to set off a bomb in Denver years back dropped a cell phone in the parking lot of the gas station I worked at. We found it and stuck it in lost and found not thinking anything about it. A couple days later the ATF called while I was at work and said they wanted it. And ATF agent and a CFBI agent came in a took it. The creepy part was the phone call. They didn't ask if we had it, they said: "This is agent whatever with the ATF. You have a flip open cell phone in your lost and found, we want to come get it." They knew we had it, no question at all. Still not sure how though. Obviously I gave it to them, found out a few days later what it was about. Not really a horror story, but it was pretty weird. Also, the ATF has really nice business cards, gold embossed and everything.

>>33745235
Most places you can request a breath test instead, this is wise if you are sober. I've failed road sides while stone cold sober (so the cop said) and refuse to ever take them anymore. They are designed to catch you out, the breath test is much more in your favor. Again, obviously only if you really haven't been drinking.

>>33764555
>Also, the ATF has really nice business cards, gold embossed and everything.
Eggshell and shit?

File: balewit.gif (498KB, 500x211px) Image search: [Google]

498KB, 500x211px

>>33764555
>>33764586
it even had a watermark.

>>33764327

There's such a thing as good people

t. an honest mechanic at a dealership owned by the greediest corporation in the history of dealerships

>>33764532
>Special Laminate Holo-ID
>Agent #_____
Niggers don't even have their names on their issued agency cards.

>>33764555
>Still not sure how though.
Phone batteries don't "die" when the phone powers down.

>>33764584
You always revoke. Even Listerine can cause a false positive. Field tests like touch your nose, walk a straight line, etc are not required (at least in FL) and are only used against you - you can decline them with no penalty. If you refuse a breathblow, they suspend your license for a year for refusal, as it says when you get your DL. HOWEVER, they cannot force you to breath/blood/urine unless someone is gravely injured (as in sent to the ICU in critical condition, not just an ambulance ride for a sprained neck) or has died. DUI conviction = 1 year suspension and your insurance rates go skyhigh for pretty much the rest of your life. Use your head, and don't drink&drive. DUI checkpoints are a very big gray-area with trick questions and are basically setups for entrapment.

>>33764598
surprised it didn't have a heat-mark (touch and hold, if color doesn't change, its fake)

oh shit, i can stop lurking for a minute! i was a civ contractor for the navy working on f-18s. somebody pissed in the camel back of (iirc) of that little self important bitch who worked in the tool room. bitch had a mustache. and she drank pee once. ncis showed up, and i heard the kid who supplied the sample ended doing time for it.

>>33764711
>you can always revoke
Entirely dependent on state. Some it's simply an administrative license suspension. Others they will get EMT's to draw blood after arresting you on suspicion. At least 1 state it's a separate crime to do so, albeit a lesser one than DUI.

In my state you have the option to request a blood test instead of a breathalyzer, which has several benefits
>no false positives due to diabeetus/mouthwash/etc
>takes long enough that many people who were over the legal limit when pulled over will have metabolized enough to be under it by the time it's drawn
>unless you're OBVIOUSLY intoxicated, most police won't bother and just let you go because it's entirely too much of a hassle
>even if you're dumb enough to STILL be over the legal limit when blood is drawn, a large percentage of samples are inadmissible in court due to rather tight time windows between draw and test
>they're only allowed to stick you once, so if they miss/otherwise fuck up you're off scot free

File: fate high impact sexual violence reaction.png (282KB, 578x572px) Image search: [Google]

282KB, 578x572px

>>33745264
>When does the last time the BATFE actually dealt with anything involving alcohoo or tobacco
You kidding, nigga? ATF agents bought a tobacco co-op and used it to launder money by fraudulently selling tax-free cigarettes to themselves.

When the co-op's accountant discovered the "bookkeeping irregularities," they took everything they had and reported it to the feds, but the DoJ declined to prosecute. The Treasury Department, however, decided to sue the co-op for taxes owed on all the cigarettes the ATF agents sold to themselves.

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/22/us/alcohol-tobacco-firearms-cigarettes-millions-secret-bank-account.html

>>33764135
Non-descript box trucks driving through there not long after 9/11 draws some attention in that part of the world.

>>33745314
might as well be a cop in full uniform wearing a badge that says "not a cop"

>>33746702
none shot, unless you were stupid enough to mail him your gun

Not really a horror story, but around '98 I had an FBI agent and some folks from the state department show up at my door. I had scrapped an old Cray Y-MP EL super computer that someone donated to the science center I was working at. I shipped some of the parts to some folks in Canada. Apparently it tripped some generic ITAR/'anything that says super computer' watch list with customs. They interviewed me and took copies of all the paperwork I had from it, said they'd be in touch if they needed anything else. Never heard about it from the feds again, but the folks I shipped it to got in touch with me later. Apparently customs smashed it up before clearing it. Literally took a sledge hammer to all of the boards.

>>33756785
>CoD 2 had just come out
>Guy is one of the main contractors who rebuilt the Pentagon after 9/11

CoD2 came out in 2005.

>>33767690
Yeah and 9/11 happened in 2001, I don't see what the issue with his story is.

>>33767690
>knowing when call of duty (x) came out
>not knowing when 9/11 happened
You must be 18 or older to post on 4chan

>>33767690
J-J-J-J-J-J-J-JUMPED THE GUN!

>>33764711
>Phone batteries don't "die" when the phone powers down.
Doesn't explain how they knew it was in the lost and found and not say, under a shelf or tossed in a bin.

They could have taken an educated guess and bluffed but it still sounds like they actually knew it was there. They can know where it is by tower communications and stuff but maybe someone came past and checked what phones were in lost&found first before asking questions to the guy they had in custody.

>>33768024
If someone had came beforehand why wouldn't he had grabbed the phone then

File: 20170426_075200.jpg (4MB, 2280x2076px) Image search: [Google]

4MB, 2280x2076px

Not quite alphabet soup related, but this happened last night.

>Be working innadesert
>Having a long day, trailer tires blown out
>Be about three hours from nearest city
>Only have a couple more locations to visit before we're finished with the weeks-long project
>Fuck it, we're finishing this shit tonight
>Drive about 45 miles of washed out, fucked up trail (pulling the trailer with only 2/4 tires remaining)
>Driving S L O W
>Been seeing wierd lights in the night sky, those aren't airplanes
>Start telling spooky stories, we all felt like we were being watched

At about ten pm, we created a hill and suddenly get lit up by some blind-you-forever bright fucking lights.
They drove full speed directly at me, and stopped a feet feet of collision. Guns drawn, they rushed to approach my truck. They turned out to be pretty cool once they saw that we were white and just out there working. The coolest part though -

>Dude's in full kit on ATVs followed us in the dark with NVGs for at least 20mi

I think those wierd lights we saw were just border patrol drones.

Also, pic related.

>>33746753
I tie my shoes really weird because my parents didn't teach me how so I had to figure it out myself

>>33769046
REEEEE AM I BEING DETAINED

Three agencies developed an interest in a pretty out there English guy who ran his own business in the NW in the 1990s. He kept himself to himself and wouldn't take their bait. Big collector and land owner. They tried every trick in the book but he wouldn't bite. Eventually they got a warrant on the testimony of a local addict they picked up and raided his lock up.

They opened it up and it was full of boxes and crates marked "Austria and "Switzerland". Long boxes, hard card and wood with no dealer stamps. Big smiles all round.

Until they opened the boxes, found out it was full of Rossignol and Volkl skis and got sued for damages. He ran a mountaineering and alpine shop.

>>33768078
>If someone had came beforehand why wouldn't he had grabbed the phone then
Didn't know which one it was?
I have no idea really, just guessing ways they might have known what was in lost property.

Alternatively, maybe surveillance saw the phone dropped and kept an eye on anon until they decided that it wasn't a dead drop and was actually just a random schmo finding a dumped phone.

File: download (8).jpg (4KB, 252x161px) Image search: [Google]

4KB, 252x161px

>>33745314
>Bill Hickok
Don't slander papa Hickok ATF

Was a super at an apartment complex
Some arab over dosed on heroin on super bowl Sunday
apparently they were running an operation through a security job that the whole family was apart of.

They were making this shit above a retired police officer who didnt suspect a thing.

Fbi staked out my neighborhood for 3 weeks
caught the brothers coming at night to clean out apartment and destroy evidence..

As soon as the two fbi goons approved me it was abundantly clear they were fbi agents

>>33764436

t. reddit

>>33764214
fucking this.

>>33769046
>get ambushed by BP

im actually glad my tax dollars payed for this lmfao

>>33764430
This guy gets it. Partying and getting blackout drunk is for immature teenagers.

>>33758136

>The other 10% is that amateur-hour alcohol kills people dead, if it doesn't just blind them

Bull-fucking-shit.

The amount of Methanol generated from the fermentation of mash for making alcohol is less than the amount need to actually cause damage beyond a terrible hangover the next day; if it wasn't, then the beer would make you go blind, since the mash is literally just crappy beer. To actually get to the levels required to blind or kill you either have to:

a) Purposefully concentrate the methanol
b) Purposefully introduce methanol into the mash or into ethanol
c) Purposefully use the shittiest fucking mash possible that wouldn't even produce that much actual ethanol and even then it would be minuscule

Option B is the only reason you actually see methanol poisonings, because methanol is cheap as fuck in bulk compared to ethanol and once people start dying from your shit you just relocate your operation to another village in [insert corrupt third world] and start it all over again.

>>33764430
>I hate fun: The Post

>>33756382
hey, you should cut a /k/omrade like me a good deal on a suppressor.

plz

>>33761466
>Moonshine

if it's made legally, its really just boring ol' schnapps.

So what happens if you can say the abc but not abc in reversed?

>>33761782
>>33764031
>>33764080

post moar

>>33772454
Don't work there anymore, sorry /k/omrade. We didn't even get discounts on products as employees

File: IMG_6928.jpg (37KB, 640x427px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 640x427px

>>33745314
The honey pot is so obvious it hurts

>>33756382
>two decimal places
doesn't that much evaporate in a matter minutes?

>>33772305
Hey dumbass, it has nothing to do with the chemistry of fermentation. It's because sometimes dumbass hillbillies will use an old car radiator (lead) as a condenser in a moonshine setup.

>>33745970
Kek
That's some War Dogs level stuff

>>33744569
>calling the alphabet 'the ABCs'

Sure, you're not still in the second grade?

>>33773548
> It's because sometimes dumbass hillbillies will use an old car radiator (lead) as a condenser

That isn't methanol poisoning... thats heavy metal poisoning. Completely different.

Today, old radiators and other car parts aren't used that much in still manufacture anyway. Its all copper/stainless/alumuium today, thanks to internet plans.

>>33744513
Living on the wrong side of the river in the St. Louis area, Illinois, I've had a few dealings with the rootytootypoochieshooties.
From what I've heard a big thing for them here is they like to try to get you to do a private purchase in the city without doing an ffl transfer back to Illinois.
More than a couple times an Armslist deal vanished into thin air after shooting down the multiple offerson the phone to, " Just come pick it up bro." The last time I recognized the voice from one other time and had the same speech too. I just hung up.
I'm assuming it's mostly to scoop up the East St. Louis and surrounding dumbshits.

>>33764711
>Phone batteries don't "die" when the phone powers down.
Yes they do but it takes a long fucking time. I had my tablet (which I use as an e-book reader) powered down for like 1.5 months and it only lost about 40% of its charge.

>>33768024
Unless the phone wasn't actually powered down. It is technically possible to program a malware that would hijack the function of the power-button, displaying a false "shutdown/reset" menu in order to goad the user into thinking the phone was shut down, when in fact it's still active and transmitting data to cellphone towers. I wouldn't be surprised if NSA already developed something like that.

>>33775313
That's definitely a possibility, but most phones and other electrical devices draw power when "off" to maintain their internal clock and calender.

>>33751216
Sorta a dick move, few background check interviews I've done I just met them at a coffee shop or a park. Keeps them out of my private domicile while also not making them stand at my door.

>>33758304
Two ACs isn't that odd for a larger horse. My parent's have one for basement+first floor and a second unit for 2nd floor. It's can be slightly more energy efficient since you can opt to only cool the floors people are on.

>>33764135
Driving a camo truck while wearing camo is the military equivalent of wearing an orange vest and carrying a clip board. It really shouldn't get you places but some guards are dumb asses.

>>33772305
>The amount of Methanol generated from the fermentation of mash for making alcohol is less than the amount need to actually cause damage
If you do it right, sure.
protip: People do lots of shit wrong when they're not held to account because they either don't know or care about doing it the fancy gubbmint way

Methanol can also be produced by bacteria. If the fermentation equipment isn't properly sterilised then this bacteria can build up and produce methanol beyond what is normally present. Hill-billies mostly know that they need to clean shit but it still happens sometimes.

>>33775313
>Unless the phone wasn't actually powered down
There's different levels of off, some of them still permit the phone to be tracked, either by pinging towers or by more active means.

>>33775882
even with a typo your post still makes sense

>>33772305
>>33773548
First off, mash isn't fermented directly to make beer. It's strained thoroughly to make wort, which is then fermented. Second, even very small doses of methanol, like the amounts created naturally during most beer production, are enough to cause optic nerve damage and potentially blindness. Larger doses, like the amounts created during liquor/spirit production, are very likely to cause blindness, seizures, induce comas, and kill people.
Ethyl alcohol is the desired type for alcoholic beverages, but fusel alcohols are also a common byproduct. In large quantities (like a batch of mash or wort), grains used to make alcoholic drinks contain a significant amount of pectin, which through the fermentation process results in methanol, a fusel alcohol. Corn is notorious for producing too many fusel alcohols relative to ethyl alcohols and beers that use corn as a mash grain can cause headaches while drinking, plus a serious hangover the next day.
Both ethanol and methanol are neurotoxins; in small quantities ethanol doesn't have harmful long term effects and methanol, while more dangerous, is actually produced naturally by the human body in very small amounts. Methanol doesn't have the same inebriating effect as ethanol yet is more toxic, so adding it in bulk to save money doesn't make sense in the long term if you're running a bootlegging operation. That's why government agents would spike relatively safe, properly distilled ethyl alcohol with lethal doses of wood alcohol during prohibition; people blamed deaths on poorly made liquor instead of purposeful poisoning.

>>33775313
Bro the whole "not completely off" thing has been around for a long time. Alphabet soup agencies can "ping" your phone, even when off to get location. This is how they """tracked""" one of OBLs couriers to him. Pro-tip; if you're trying to avoid being tracked, remove the battery (doesn't work on all devices) when you turn your phone off.

>>33745314
No, i just recieved my manuel and Bill is a stand up guy, he can be trusted. This is no scam, super informative too! Not a ripoff. Best system ive ever seen, give it a try!

>>33745314
I've never saved an entire webpage before but now's the time. This is gold, you could write a book on everything here.

>>33777913
Especially when the majority of American home stilled liqour is some kind of of Bourbon or other corn-derived whiskey

>>33744513
>be me, experienced welder/machinist/metal fabricator
>work in family owned machine shop for 10+ years, starting when I was 17
>do minor gun smithing and assemble/build rifles for people (nothing that would require an ffl though)
>owner/manager of the shop is total pro-guns guy, known fact he has an AR in his office
>cool with us using company equipment after hours as long as he's there and it's after hours for gun related things
>i have a few NFA items, no MGs, just a few sbr/sbs and two cans
>date this chick for a while, has beta orbiter numale co-worker who is obsessed with her
>be at holiday party, he tries talking down to like just cause he's white collar and i'm blue collar he makes more money
>lol no
>decide to make trigger him and talk about conservative things, show him pictures of my guns (not any nfa stuff)
>YOU DONT NEED THAT, THATS A MACHINE GUN, IM GONNA CALL yadayadayada...
>walk away laughing
>fast forward one week, pressed two AK barrels in, and some welding/misc for an HK clone build after work
>get home, eating dinner on the couch with gf
>hear glass sliding door shatter in kitchen
>initially think the neighborhood kids hit a foul ball into until
>BANG from kitchen and BOOM BOOM on front door
>immediately fling gf and myself onto floor
>ATF ATF LEMME SEE SOME FUKKIN HANDS
>comply, gf stays calm doesn't get hysterical, I don't say anything other than to call my lawyer
>he shows up, and despite having proper ATF forms, they take all my guns for "inspection" as part of an "investigation
>get a call at about 11pm from the owner/manager saying the ATF stopped by for a "friendly conversation" and he called his lawyer and didn't say shit

1/2

>>33779827
Cont.

My criminal case was dropped about 3 weeks after I was raided and my civil case just wrapped up, I'll be getting my first check on the 5th of next month. Didn't get a huge settlement, but it's always nice knowing I'll be buying gun related things with ATF/GOV money. As you can guess my gfs (now fiancée) betacuck coworker called the ATF. They survailed me for a week, saw me go into and out of work with firearms, and got a warrant based on I was "illegally manufacturing" firearms. One highlight of all this was that while they were collecting evidence (taking muh guns for "inspection") one of the agents inadvertently switched his AR and my SBRd one. They didn't realize this until my lawyer realized the SN for the gun they had in evidence didn't match that on my form 4. Idiots also left behind a nice maglite and surefire light as well. I've contacted a few media outlets about all this and they seem pretty interested in the story, so the ATF will be in the limelight, again, for the wrong reason, again hopefully.

>>33779827
>>33779924
wow dude, that beta endangered you and your GF's life.

I'd molotov his house. Or something. Please tell me you have some sort of plan.

>>33779924
>didn't shoot your dog and stomp your cat

You almost had me believing this story was legit. Almost

>>33745314
Let's nuke the comments with ATF GET OUT

>>33772305
The lower density of methanol makes it evaporate and distill faster than ethanol, so unless you toss out the first products of a large volume of moonshine you're going to get all of the methanol concentrated in the first couple of jars. It's that quirk of the chemistry leading to concentration differences that kills people, and it can happen in even the most well made batch if you forget it.

Source: My first fucking semester of orgo chem, and my ex's cousin who made the stuff as a hobby. Learn to chemistry.

>>33764430
You know Anon if you wanted to come you could just ask.

>>33780018
There's also a distinct possibility that he didn't have a dog or cat on premises to shoot. There was no mention of a kid, or it would have died with the flashbang.

>>33769140
hahaha

>>33746775
> what is a median

>>33779950
Yeah, like, don't say anything for obvious reasons, but please tell me your fiancee at least told that guy to go fuck himself with a spike or something after that shit.

>>33758136
>90% of the answer to that is taxes

Damn straight. Before BATFE was a thing, IRS agents were the ones busting moonshiners (ie. untaxed liquor producers)

>>33779506
Fugg off, shill

>>33779950
He was terminated over this. He had already been given verbal and written warnings to leave her alone. The day after my criminal case was dropped she went to management letting them know what happened and they fired his ass two hours later. Last I heard his house was foreclosed on and car repossessed cause he couldn't find work and probably won't be able to within in his field because how he was terminated. We considered suing him, but it wasn't worth it.

I was waiting outside the office when he got fired, which was hilarious. I was just leaned up against my car 100 feet from the entrance/exit and because he was escorted out by security they wouldn't let him remain in the building, they more or less physically pushed him out of the office. I guess he asked one of them "what if he attacks me" and they kinda laughed and said they'd call the cops. He had to walk passed me like 5 feet away and I did that "jump" thing you do to friends when you act like you're going to punch them, he ran the rest of the way to his car.

From what I heard though, I guess he got all sorts of menacing calls and his house was constantly flaming dump sacked, I don't know who did it but I'd like to buy them a beer...
>>33780018
They knocked out my goldfish tank when they fastroped down from the heli and smashed through my second story window...

I lied when I said I didn't say anything to them besides to call my lawyer. They asked if "they're were any animals in the house... or other people". I said "so the rumors about you guys being pet killers is true". I'm not kidding you about the order of things he asked about and there was a good two second pause before he said or people.

I had to put my Rottweiler "Hyme" down about 2 months before this incident, which no matter how sad I am about it, I'm happy he went that way instead of being another notch in one of their stocks.

File: 1492385880035.jpg (31KB, 640x287px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 640x287px

>>33779827
Post some pics of your raifus anon.

File: 1493254941842.jpg (30KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 600x600px

>>33780674
>I don't know who did it but I'd like to buy them a beer...

>>33780674
Yeah calling bullshit on this story

>>33780736
S-sure thing... lemme go get my lawyer, I'll be sure to be waiting facedown hands spread.

I don't have pictures of any of my NFA items, save for in my safe deposit box. Nothing real exciting ; AR, 86' Tula Krink, CZ scorpion, a Saiga, and 9mm and 5.56 silencerco suppresors.
>>33781176
So it was you? Or are you saying it was that smug ass fuck Pepe?

>>33781202
What part of my story is bullshit? If you think I was serious about the goldfish, don't have a 'tism induced aneurysm, it was a joke.

>>33781202
Yeah I wanted to believe it too until he went full Rainbow Six
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact

File: average day for batfe.jpg (152KB, 800x562px) Image search: [Google]

152KB, 800x562px

>>33745314

>>33755980
there are two ways...

>>33781513
>So it was you? Or are you saying it was that smug ass fuck Pepe?
dont lie anon we all know its you doing it

>>33745970
Cigarette tax is such bullshit...

If I knew how to make Marlboros I'd just make my own goddamn cigarettes.

>>33756777
>issaquah

>>33764430
itt butthurt nerds who never partied

>>33782706
Grow tobacco in rectangular plastic flowerpots
Dry tobacco
Chop tobacco
Mix different types of tobacco if desired
Buy filters and reloading apparatus ($5 shipped from Ali)
???
Enjoy cigarettes with no additives

>>33783017
>Enjoy cigarettes with no additives
The man wants Marlboros, not your organic hippie shit.

>>33785094
Marlboros ain't Marlboros if they don't got the cancer

I had the bomb squad called on me.
My homemade rockets had a few issues with nozzle pressure and went kaboom.
Dude was just kinda annoyed as he expected some crazy skinhead.

>>33786262
As in went kaboom a mile up for the entire county to see?

File: sting.png (13KB, 678x99px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 678x99px

>>33746311
>>33745314
lol

>Work for local county gov
>A "white worker's party" is planning a protest or some shit in the city I work in soon
>Counter-protest groups including a splinter of ANTIFA are already popping up and planning to "disrupt" the event
>Live in an open carry state with stand-your-ground laws, both sides are encouraging their members to show up armed
>Whatever, think nothing of it, I'm just glad I'm not scheduled to work that weekend, because the protest is literally going to be right outside my office (y tho?)
>The other day at work I answer the phone as usual, it's some lady calling from fucking Dept of Homeland Security, says she has a few questions about the event, protest permits, etc
>We talk for a few minutes, she basically asks me to verbally describe the layout of the downtown section
>I couldn't help her with the rest of the info, give her the number to another office
>She was very polite and sounded kinda cute over the phone
>????
>Everything went better than expected

File: 1484075649037.jpg (60KB, 548x480px) Image search: [Google]

60KB, 548x480px

>>33744513
>work as a deputy on the west coast
>one day on the highway we find a headless jane doe
>detectives try to work it as best they can, but we all know the odds of solving a case like that
>two months go by, nothing. We dont even have a name or anything besides it being a white female aged 25-35
>one night im at the station, three guys in suits show up asking to speak to our supervisor
>one pulls a badge saying he;s FBI, the other two dont say much to anything
>they ask to speak to the sheriff, the detectives and the deputies that found that body
>spend about and hour in the sherrifs office asking questions and taking notes
>seen anything suspicious, any other bodies, any leads, anything else weird going on ?
>tell them what we can, only the first guy gives us his card and they leave
>to this day were not sure what was going on, the working theories are they were feds hunting a serial killer or spooks looking into cartel activity that might have spilled over the border
>sheriff tells us to drop it, but to be on high alert

kind of lame but its all I got. the first guy seemed well rounded enough, the other two barely spoke and just austically checked the place out and jotted notes down. Id wager they were ex military by how they carried themselves. Probably some sicario shit

>>33752853
>neighbors wanted to know why the FBI came to talk to them about me and nuclear things.

This is weird. Maybe its the Navy, but the FBI isn't usually cleared to know exactly what your clearance is for.

Cant say that I've had the pleasure of meeting the hard working men and women of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, but maybe, just maybe, if I buy a illegal weapon I can finally meet them! Hey would any of you image broad guys know where I could obtain a fully automatic rifle?

>>33745383
>NSA hosted a pizza party/career info session at my college

CIA hosted events on the regular on my campus.

> Be Michigan
> Arabs, Arabs everywhere
> Lebanese American Student Society cookout, sponsored by CIA

MFW honest to god spooks on campus

>>33787151
Bill Hickock

>>33787431
thank you citizen

File: 10048795-Charro-mariachi-man-portrait-shouting-isolated-on-white-Stock-Photo[1].jpg (97KB, 1300x882px) Image search: [Google]

97KB, 1300x882px

>>33787911
>citizen
>mfw

File: 9873cPi.jpg (35KB, 374x503px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 374x503px

I was born on April 19th, in Waco, Texas.

Yes. THAT DAY.

Every time I fill out a form for the ATF I worry they're going to either throw it in the trash or try to come after me on the assumption I'm trying to make some sort of political statement and not putting down my real info.

Got to the 3rd round of interviews for a CIA internship and the gov't paid for me to fly to DC

>>33787255
>> Lebanese American Student Society cookout, sponsored by CIA

I wonder if this was an attempt to curry favor with the Lebanese Americans so that some of them might be recruited as agents. There's apparently a shortage of middle eastern people with the intelligence and patriotism required to do that kind of work, but Lebanese-Americans, especially the Christian ones, are known to be pretty reliable.

I know an FBI agent through a mutual friend. I've been to the range with him, he was bretty good with his problem solver.
I also met some ATF guys on a Navy base, my friend worked in the armory and they were there to make sure these foreign SF guys that had just flown in, I think they were Dutch, got their M4s checked in properly. Not really a horror story, but that's all I have.

>>33788005
So what happened?

File: nice like.jpg (9KB, 284x177px) Image search: [Google]

9KB, 284x177px

>>33787942
>citizen
oh I think a friend of mine might want to meet you.

>>33788145
Did not get the internship sadly

I applied on a whim and then randomly got a call on my cell one morning from a restricted number. I picked up thinking it was family but instead I got a gruff voice asking if I was in the US and my name.

All correspondence happened through either phone or mail with like hand written envelopes and stuff, pretty intense

2nd round of interviews happened in a hotel under a fake company name. Met other applicants when I flew to DC and we were told not to say each others' name so we only called each other by the state we were from.

Wish I got the job sadly but alas

>>33744691
I get a bunch of pictures of a former highschool wrestler who looks a lot like me. I don't even have a common name.

File: 1493342653824.gif (348KB, 278x200px) Image search: [Google]

348KB, 278x200px

>>33779506

hahahaha

i kek'd pretty hard

>>33755562
>Do it at the same speed he normally did
Are most people this incompetent at teaching? I never thought myself to be a good teacher but my experience with my parents teaching me to tie my shoes, a kid in school showing me how to use a dial combo lock, and on-site job training makes me feel like a fucking college professor. Why can't they wrap their head around GO SLOW AND STEP BY STEP, AND SPEAK CLEARLY?

>>33764436
>>33782777
You hafta b 18 2 poast heer

>>33756642
Why would anyone work such a shit job, even Subway sounds better

>>33769046
>you will never get paid to go full kit with NVGs on an ATV at night to chase some yokels

>>33788415
Cool, thanks for sharing anon. I came really close to applying for a technician job that the CIA had an opening for. This was about 8 years ago, and at the time I really didn't want to move to D.C.

File: 0d99062cfd81c58b9e36bc06ae10d1d9.jpg (40KB, 382x597px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 382x597px

Oh, you want an alphabet horror story? i'll give you one alright.

It all started with this motherfucking jew named Terry Kinnison who tried to bullshit me into giving him 3k dollars for some bullshit land deal, He lost in court and was obliged to pay me 2k in damages (Serves him right, dirty kike)

But it doesn't end here, what does the kike do? messages the FBI and the fucking secret service that i was planning to assassinate the pope, the president and the goddamn governor of Idaho, He also accused me of having a pile of guns and and that i was a white supremacist who followed some bullshit group named the aryan nations or something, But of course all those allegations turned out to be bullshit

But unfortunately the aryan nations accusation got stuck since i had this friend named Frank Kumnick who may or not be associated with them
Now, this cunty friend of mine Frank Kumnick, actually turns out to be a member of the aryan nations and he tried to have me attend one of their bullshit meetings, i had to oblige since he was a friend of mine

Now, for some bullshit reason i got charged by the ATF because i sold a couple of shitty 12 gauge guns to some dude at the aryan nations, and the ATF like the bullshitters they are, claimed that i robbed a bank, filthy liars

So several days pass by i was chilling with my friend Kevin Harris at my house, and the next thing i see was my wife Vicky getting shot out of fucking nowhere, then whoever was shooting proceed to cap my dog and my fucking son, my whole fucking family got shot.

So me and Kevin ended up fortifying ourselves inside the house, later one of those fuckers tried to get in, but i shot him and he ended up dying (score one for the good guys) but turns this guy was a US marshall and that i was in deeper shit than i expected

later, i had to surrender

>TL;DR Fuck the ATF

>>33744513
When the ATeaF first went to paper print outs, they audited my dad. Their printout showed he owned an M60 with serial number XXXX38 and one with XXXX83.

He only had #38, there was no #83 because it didn't exist. Took about six months and probably sixty letter for my dad to get his point across to the regional director. Agent that came out to inspect got promoted to somewhere else.

ATeaF still never admitted they were wrong.

>>33788459
>I get a bunch of pictures of a former highschool wrestler who looks a lot like me. I don't even have a common name.
My name used to be globally unique. Now a kid half my age is popping up, he seems like a cool dude so it's not a problem but I wonder if he wonders who I am.

>>33790824
Sounds like you should track him down and meet up
>There can be only one

File: amer.jpg (41KB, 396x306px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 396x306px

>>33790752
t. Randy

>>33754390
>interviewing ex gfs
I wonder if they take everything they say at face value. I get that significant others would know more about the person getting the clearance than most people, but it seems like any ex would have the power to really fuck someone over out of spite if they wanted to

>>33791526
I wouldn't.

File: 2ec.png (208KB, 327x316px) Image search: [Google]

208KB, 327x316px

>>33745264

I'm a Britfag and I deal with underage alcohol sales and counterfeit tobacco and it is full of fun times.

Raided a store after purchasing counterfeit cigarettes just like Homer bought illegal fireworks on the Simpsons episode. Guy disappears out back and returns with the stuff.

So we're raiding in this store, do some rooting around, find a electromagnetically sealed compartment behind a washroom mirror FULL of counterfeit rolling tobacco. Guy SWEARS he has no idea how it got there and he is not involved.

Our faces when an accomplice pulls up in his car and promptly walks in shouting "ey Hakim where do you want this baccy, the usual place!?" Car absolutely full of the stuff too. It was a good day

File: 1493393354361[1].jpg (79KB, 716x768px) Image search: [Google]

79KB, 716x768px

>>33788005
>>33788145

>>33788145
He didn't fly so good

I spoke with a fire marshal at the gas station I work at, that was the closest I've been to an alphabet agency.

>abandoned school burns down
>they think it's arson
>fire marshal comes in, asks about diesel or kerosene sales, mainly people who put it in cans
>tell him I don't know because I don't really pay attention, I approve the pump then go back to whatever I was doing
>he asks for some records then leaves
>ask one of the local fire fighters about it a while later
>"oh I don't know anything" kind of answer
>don't know of anyone getting arrested
>still think there's some kind of wild conspiracy going on

>>33790774
This means you have ATF approval to put one together and give it s/n XXXX83

>>33744513
Wrong board

>>33791568
>counterfeit tobacco
So was it just tree leaves, or does counterfeit mean something different in UK?

>>33793731

Well it is still tobacco, but not the quality of legitimate brands. So shitty tobacco is mixed with all kinds of other shite such as heavy metals and that.

Also they avoid tax and HMRC are not keen on that either.

>>33793731
>>33794204
counterfeit in the US would mean cheaply made shit sold as a name brand
so not just like home-made cigs

>get call from restricted number
>goes to voicemail
>"hi this is so and so from the (((NATIONAL SECURITY AGENCY))) blah blah"
>holy fuck
>they were calling to set up a phone interview
>forgot I applied for an internship there, was studying electrical engineering
>got phone interview
>bombed it

I'm better off I think.

File: 1488484669263.gif (3MB, 406x300px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 406x300px

>>33756481
>airport pistol
>airlift guns

But seriously
>playing baseball with a dildo in class

>>33744513
>Be me.
>Work in the back of a department store unloading freight.
>We see the classic pink slip next to the load map when we open the door.
>Gentlemen, we have a gun to locate.
>Hand slip over to guy at the desk and we set to work, supposed to only be three pallets in so no biggie.
>We strip down four pallets and sort of look at one another.
>Fifth, nothing.
>By the seventh we are tactically shitting ourselves, yell at boss at desk.
>He comes to help sort everything.
>Three hours later the container is picked clean and no gun.
>Boss is pale, says he has to go make a call.
>My crew and I are given one of the most horrifying interviews of our lives by a very calm agent.
>They really made it sound like we had the gun up our ass and it was going to be removed.
>They later found out a dock worker who loaded the container stole the gun.

>>33797113
Canada or Chicago?

>Be female 15T
>Have been cited as a witness/victim in three false sexual assault claims by the barracks princesses
>Two of those morons went on to accuse me of getting knocked up after I told CID they were full of shit
>mfw had my tubes tied almost a year before I joined the Army

Seriously though, to hell with those sluts. I keep my liasons off-duty, off-post, and off the unit personnel roster.

>>33797472
Alaska.
Shipped from Seattle.
Apparently the dock boss tossed the faggot off the dock before the federal ass reaming could happen.

>>33756642
Damn, now driving in DC freaks me out even more.

File: magsincrate.jpg (51KB, 418x443px) Image search: [Google]

51KB, 418x443px

>Import waffle mags illegally and sell them for as low as $5 each circa early 2000's

>start importing kits

>shipment seized by customs

>raided by ATF

>sentenced to 15 years for illegal importation.


R.I.P Chief thunder.

>>33797634
>Thank you for your cervix
But really, thanks for being a decent person and not letting retards get away with ruining lives

>>33797634
These "barracks princesses" sound like they've made more than one false accusation each. Are they given special treatment for make an accusation at all? Something that counts as incentive in their warped minds?

I can't see any benefit to it, because if proven false, they would likely be shunned or lose any career options, right?

>>33758015
Favorite book ever.
Go read now.
Just dont watch the movie its shitty shit shit shit

>>33797883
I'd imagine they do it for attention, to screw others over or to shift blame away from them from being a slut.

>>33798000
Trips of fucking truth

>>33744513
>Be sandnigger
>Dad sends money abroad to his sisters in Iran to help them pay for medical expenses
>Few days later be downstairs chilling downstairs when suits walk inside with a warrant
>Counterterrorism Finance Unit
>Apparently went through our taxes and shit.
>Everything checked out so they were on their way

Another time
>Doing bio project on the local flora and fauna (high school freshman)
>Castor bean is studied
>Includes information about ricin
>Accessed this on high school library
>Sherrif and feds pull me out of class to speak with me, found informational material about ricin in a trash can in the library + search results to pin it on me
>Wanted me to confess to manufacturing toxins? Searched my backpack and went through all my classwork.
>Spoke with my sperg friend, went through his notes and questioned him about tank and plane drawings
>Searched my room and found a papercraft AR15, which they apparently confiscated.

>>33798090
Thank God they took away your ghost gun.

File: 16585721_987282131405719_47133924589043712_n.jpg (274KB, 1200x800px) Image search: [Google]

274KB, 1200x800px

>>33798114
Kek

I've moved up.

>>33746753
I use Velcro because it's tactical

>>33797883
15T here. Yeah, most do it for attention or attempting not to be labeled a slut, but there's more than a few who actually convince themselves they've been raped. One of the three I dealt with was a girl from my hometown who did that.

She came up in an ultra-religious and conservative household. Parents never let her attend sex education, premarital sex is a sin, lust is a sin, masturbation is a sin, etc etc etc.

So now she's nineteen years old, away from her parents for the first time, and surrounded by young men. Hormones are going absolutely bughouse nuts and Mom and Dad aren't there to smack her upside the head with the Good Book every time she looks at a man. Of course, it's pretty much a matter of time before it gets the best of her.

Now she's lying in bed with some sexy 11B and has the world's worst case of cognitive dissonance. Sex is a sin, lust is a sin, but she's not a sinner. Can't be! So how'd she end up here? Obviously, rape. She's a good Christian girl, she'd never do that willingly!

Annnd that's how it happens.

>>33745314
>literally just an auto sear
the insulting thing is that they are trying to charge fudds and retards money for a hardcopy version of what you could get by typing "AR15 auto sear" into google.

needs the right bolt carrier group though... which could get your doggo expired if you order it's repro from an actual honey pot let alone an auto sear kit from the same source.

>>33798266
>typing "AR15 auto sear" into google.
Nice try law man. Not today.

>>33798265
Congrats dumbass. You've been promoted 3x invol lateral 73b. Enjoy your comfy chair asshat.

>>33794779
That's what I meant

>>33792475
wrong website

>>33798131
>dikmod
I'd rather have the ghost gun.

>>33745314

AFAIK just having some metal and information about how to machine a RDIAS is not illegal. Its not a machine gun unless it is more than 80% machined. Constrictive intent does non apply to things that are not firearms, otherwise you 80% lowers might be machine guns because you could drill an extra hole if you chose to.

t. someone who bought 80% Glock auto sears years ago.

>>33744719
I hope you said no. The FBI has no right to that information and they know it.

>>33755281
>Monopoly

Shit, son, that's the devil's game right there. Closest I ever came to shooting a family member was over Monopoly.

>>33745342
It's so they can't claim they're handing money out to their friends and relatives.

I believe if you have a lottery club, you can use the name of your group instead.

>>33788563
>Are most people this incompetent at teaching?
Literally yes.

Most people have an amazing lack of skills when it comes to self-reflection and empathy.

Most people also don't understand that the phrase 'common sense' refers to the inherent, reflexive sense a certain group of people get from common experience, misinterpreting the 'common' aspect of the phrase as a synonym for 'general' or 'widespread' when it's only widespread within a particular cohort of people.

>>33756382
>anyone in the industry would tell you determining accuracy beyond that is optimistic

I'm gonna have to take issue with that sunshine. I managed a laboratory in an alcoholic drinks factory and our standard method was repeatability of ABV measurement to 2SF. If we got two results, 5.53 and 5.54, we would repeat the test two more times. We used fractional steam distillation, and if we couldn't get a repeatable result then we had a gas chromatograph which we could fire up.

Your lab A SHIT SON

File: DHS.jpg (1MB, 2471x2475px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 2471x2475px

Not a horror story, but definitely a legit interaction.
>Be me
>Patrolling as a rentacop
>Find a tag marked "Department of Homeland security property if found call *phone number*
>Tag is no longer attached to anything
>Me and co-workers all think it's fake as fuck
>Call the number as a joke
>Barely rings
>Pre recorded message just says "this call is being recorded"
>Lady picks up
>TSOC why are you calling?
>Explain that I found a tag with this number
>Get asked lots of questions about where I found it and if it was attached to anything
>Have to go way into detail about where I work location-wise (is a major local landmark)
>Eventually lady explains "sir, you have to understand I'm in Washington DC"
>Mfw I am on the west coast
>Mfw it was 2am
>Apparently some guys in suits came and picked up the tag like a month later

Pic related is the actual tag.

>>33799919
What was the tag for though?

File: E7E3FE74-0E19-4820-9FC0-F9B952AD0177-21462-000013A3F08EDB81.jpg (7KB, 300x161px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 300x161px

>>33780674
> "they're were any animals in the house... or other people". I said "so the rumors about you guys being pet killers is true". I'm not kidding you about the order of things

Fucking keked

>>33800039
No idea. I found it like that (minus the sticky obviously). Probably something somewhat important. I would be unsurprised if someone at some local office of some agency ended up getting a major ass chewing for mishandling something. Or it was just attached to the keychain of a DHS car that an agent decided to use for personal business. We never got an explanation.

>Be me, age thirteen
>Opening day of deer season fell on my birthday that year, Dad got me out of school for the day and everything for it
>Super excited
>It's like 4AM as we step out of the garage with our deer rifles over our shoulders
>I'm halfway to our truck when suddenly I'm eating pavement
>People are screaming, I can see my dad get coldcocked by some asshole in a balaclava and tac vest
>my jaw broke when they shoved me into the pavement
>I'm scared and crying, dad is demanding to know what's going on, keeps getting told to shut the fuck up
>they won't let EMS treat me until the area is "safe"
>this took four hours
>spent the next month undergoing dental surgeries to fix my fucked up teeth and jaw

What happened?
Neighbor across the street was growing pot in his basement. DEA tac team was gearing up to raid his house when across the street, a 49 year old and a 13 year old male in realtree clothing and carrying bolt action rifles stepped out of a garage. The DEA tac team decided that the most reasonable course of action was to chokeslam a 13 year old kid and punch the old guy just in case.

>>33744750
>One of our friends was buddies with a lot of cops and knew how to do evidence/public records requests, so he got the dash cam footage and we played it at parties. Shit was hilarious.

wow he can fill out a form? Where can I learn such skills

>>33800296
Fucking hell, should have sued the fuck out of them (or you dad should have).

>>33790752
It's always the fucking jews

>>33786717
Fuckin saved

>>33748519
Horseshit. RE the "terror cell" aspect.
There were a couple muzzies involved but that was mostly because they owned corner shops/cigar shops/bodegas etc and were in the business. It was not an organized scheme to fund terrists

>>33746753
>>33744569
I slept in my parents' room until I was 10.

>>33745314
I've been getting suggestions for videos like this in my youtube recommended videos section lately. I'm not retarded enough to click on them, but still.

>>33746349
I'd bet a large percentage of the people that watch this are <15 year old COD kiddies that have zero understanding of the laws.

>>33800944
It never is.
Just fits nicely and justifies excessive force and armament for what is illegal cigarette selling and not paying tax.

>>33780674
Wow, you're like edgy and stuff.
Fuck off with your horseshit.