Chimps trained with machetes

>Makes a joke about Zulus as Chimps with spears.

All jokes aside, they'd be pretty bad if you armed chimps with ARs as they don't have the cognitive ability to maintain their weapons and probably won't do well in operation other than "Shoot". Plus if dropped in enemy territory, they probably would just shoot anyone and anything, including civies and cause a colossal goat fuck before they expend their ammunition.

Chimps with spears on the other hand, they could be more brutal if trained to guard your encampment or an area, but you run into the problem of training them not to attack your troops, ect.

Better off getting attack doggos.

>>33732784
>Plus if dropped in enemy territory, they probably would just shoot anyone and anything, including civies and cause a colossal goat fuck before they expend their ammunition.


Awesome.
Not a war crime either.
Death by suicide mission chimp inserted by drone. I wonder if you could train them to C4 bridges

>>33732732
>20th Century Fox has decided to spam a Mongolian yert building forum known primarily as a stomping ground for the alt-right to start their viral marketing campaign for a movie about violent apes that overthrow Western society.
You have no idea what you've brought on yourself, do you?

>>33735895

CHIMPPPP-OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

File: 1-finehandsfis.jpg (1MB, 3200x2771px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 3200x2771px

>>33732732
>Could chimps be trained to use ARs and dripped into enemy territory?
chimps have must longer, less dexterous fingers. They could probably use guns that were tweaked to accommodate their hand size.

>>33732732

This is great. Finally humanity isn't the only race that's /k/! Imagine a bunch of chimps passing down their machetes from generation to generation. Hell, this puts them ahead of that one stone-age tribe back in India.

>>33732732
I forget which country it was now, but they trained chimps to get rid of land mines... By jumping on them.
Obviously the country who did it got a severe telling off by everyone else who hadn't thought of it, and had to stop.
The chimps thought that by jumping on the mine, they would get treats.

Another country wanted to buy up all the cattle effected by foot and mouth disease in the uk as well, so they could release them in old mine fields. They were told no.

>>33737010
Both ideas are rather stupid. Training a new ape for every mine you have discovered and need to blow up would take insanely long and it would be incredibly expensive. It might work with rats, but they are much too light. Plus, if you have already discovered the mine you can just blow it up yourself. The ape won't discover it for you, he basically can't see or smell anything you don't. And the idea with the cattle won't work either - no matter how long you let them graze in one mined area, you you will never be sure if you have caught them ALL. A minefield must be swept METHODICALLY, square foot by square foot.

>>33737223
Releasing the cows on the field would lessen your workload though.

>>33732732
Neat, I knew Idi Amin was crazy, but not that crazy... also, he might have been crazy like a fox. Since using animals as executioners, as a way of showing off your power, has been something rulers were doing for a very, very long time...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Execution_by_elephant
(It's actually a pretty interesting article, and a good read. I ended up reading all the ancient methods of execution one day, after I saw "death by scaphism" come up for the 100th time while playing Crusader Kings 2 and curiosity got the better of me.)

>tl;dr
>Ancient rulers across the world, from Rome to China, liked using elephants as a method of execution because showing the peasants they could control such a mighty animal made them look extra impressive by demonstrating that their power extended over nature itself
>Also, because elephants are damn smart, they can be trained to fuck up the condemned with calm brutality, and draw out the execution in ways that you'd never get from a predatory mammal like a lion or bear

>>33737562
>Releasing the cows on the field would lessen your workload though.
Nah, you'd just have to clean up the rotting cow instead, that pretty much evens things out.

>>33737223
I just thought it was funny, Chimp runs into area, digs up mine then jumps on the fucker, expecting to get a few bananas.

they've been doing this in detroit for years though

>>33736738
>This is great. Finally humanity isn't the only race that's /k/! Imagine a bunch of chimps passing down their machetes from generation to generation. Hell, this puts them ahead of that one stone-age tribe back in India.


This was your fathers machete. Use it well son.

Chimp out.

>>33740050
Well he figured it out pretty quickly and applied it correctly.

Based chimp.