Sensei Seagal

>>33665900
>doesn't support gun rights.
fify
>fat as fuck
it's a wash, desu.

>>33665952
>fat as fuck
>Implying most of /k/ isn't fat underage manlets

>>33665952
>doesn't support gun rights
You better have a goddamn citation for that.

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>>33665952
Seagal supports 2nd amendment and he is also a spoke person for a Russian arms manufacturer ORSIS.

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>>33665900
Chris Pratt, Keanu Reeves, and Alton Brown are infinitely more based.

>>33665900
>worked for CIA
no

>>33666179
Yes he did

http://articles.latimes.com/1988-02-14/entertainment/ca-42829_1_steven-seagal/3

>>33666207
Are you being willfully retarded?

>>33665900
>Fat as fuck
>Trained in fake bullshit marshal art
>Told a stuntman he couldn't be choked out, tried to prove it, ended up shitting himself
The list goes on. He's useless.

>Weeaboo sword autist
>Slavaboo
>Overweight
>Mumbles indecipherable when speaking
>Mallninja Larper (the whole basis for sniper specops)
>Actual autist (any interview from the last decade, but also that time he started dancing in public)
Yeah, Id be inclined to agree

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He is a meme literally.

>>33665900
no i hate him he stole my motherfucker birthday

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>>33665900
Charlton Heston is the best /k/ celebrity.

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>>33666299
>>Told a stuntman he couldn't be choked out, tried to prove it, ended up shitting himself

I will need a video of that.

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>>33665900
>Brutaly overweight
>Martial autist
>Known best for bollywood-style fight scenes
>Slav wannabe
>1911 collection
>Katana collection
>Was the first one to buy gold plated Galaxy S7 back cover with imprinted Putin's face

OP never implied Seagal was awsum. He only implied Seagal is /k/ approved. Which he is.

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Seagal would fuck your shit up

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqA3UoMH4yY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gn4d-UqPVN4

>>33665900
Vince Vaughn and Kurt Russell are our guys.

>>33666626
Kurt is, but not Vince. Eww.

https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/4i0jso/i_am_actor_steven_seagal_live_from_thailand_ama/

>>33666585
You ain't seen nothing yet. Get a load of this shit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnw08iNb51U

>>33665900
If steven segal was in any way /k guy I would not be on /k

He is a fat, stupid larping pile of cunt.

>>33666532
Here is Joe Rogan talking about it: https://youtu.be/LuqpR7BK3M0

To cap it off the person that did it was motherfucking Gene Lebell. One of the greatest American grapplers ever.

>>33666661
Cunt.

>>33666661
"almost 15 rounds". What do you mean "almost" Steven???

>>33666661
He talks the same way as Trump. Amazing.

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>>33666585

Only if someone rolled him downhill at me. A slight jog would kill the fat larping butterball

>>33666735
What else do they have in common?

>fat
>self-aggrandizing lies
>spousal abuse

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>>33666545
>He only implied Seagal is /k/ approved. Which he is.

Certainly not

>>33666585
jesus that trigger finger

>>33666755
>What else do they have in common?>fat>self-aggrandizing lies>spousal abuse

I like trump. Seagal is and always has been an utter spastic fake Hollywood turd and no he is all that but a national traitor and obese.

>>33666585
>Seagal would fuck your shit up

He probably wood. I leave a vast manly log in the toilet and he rushes in pants down and tries to fuck it. That is exactly what he is a shit fucker. A fat shit fucker.

>>33666585
Me? Yeah, no shit, all he has to do is fall on me and I'm done. I can't bench 300+ lbs.

>>33666661
wow

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>>33666661
i am greatly impressed by his collection of birthday snatchers

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>Deputy Sheriff
>Longslide custom 1911
>Camo AR-15
>Multicam

definitely based

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_dnw7uz6rY

>>33666881
>134 KB JPG>Deputy Sheriff>Longslide custom 1911>Camo AR-15>Multicamdefinitely based

Where his food trolley/

Whoever is shilling this cunt fuck off

A cunt is a cunt is a cunt

>>33666756

“You could say that I became an advisor to several CIA agents in the field and through my friends in the CIA, met many powerful people and did special works and special favors.”

In actuality, as you’d expect, that’s a steaming pile of horse shit. Seagal never worked covertly for the CIA or anyone else, and Gary Goldman, an ex-mercenary (for real) and former business partner of the fatman revealed a hilarious story:


In an interview with Spy, Goldman says he had long known that Seagal tends to tell grandiose tales about himself. Late in 1988, a former soldier of fortune and treasure hunter named Randy Widner invited Seagal, Goldman and another man to hunt for treasure off the coast of Barbados. At that time, Seagal had been telling Goldman that he’d been a U.S. Navy SEAL. Evidently this was one frogman who did not take well to water. As Goldman recalls, “Randy was driving [a Zodiac raft] in circles while Steven and I carried the gear out to him. The surf was unbelievable, really tough… He started screaming and panicking and was sure he was going to die and all that crap.” Goldman says Seagal had to be helped onto the vessel. “Wildner had to pull Seagal by his hair; I pushed his ass onto the boat with my shoulder.” Later that evening, Goldman says, he realized that Seagal could not read a compass or a map. (Seagal describes himself as “autistic with numbers.”) With that, Goldman says, he totally dismissed the notion that Seagal had ever been involved in any covert operations. In his letter to the Times reporter, Goldman wrote that Seagal “would surely die of starvation if he was given a compass and a map that led to a restaurant five miles away.”

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>>33666661
>zzzthis is that 50 I was tellin you abou... flat fast gnome-inal pentrazun great distance gr... ta...

What a fucking clown. He sounds like Elvis eating peanut butter and talking about his Cadillacs.

>>33666836
As well as claiming he learnt blues from the masters despite only being 5, Seagal also claimed he spent much of his youth in Brooklyn (probably to augment his then Italian persona), despite probably never once going there when he was young. Then there was Seagal’s claims about daringly battling the Yakuza (the Japanese mafia) when he was in Japan, and claimed to Movieline “I jumped right in their faces. I was a tenacious motherfucker, man, and I was fearless.” His first wife, Fujitani, cleared up this nonsense however:


“It is a lie. He once chased a few drunks away from the dojo but never was involved with Yakuza.” Fujitani also delivered some insight into the mysterious attainment of Seagal’s Aikido black belt. “The only reason Steven was awarded the black belt was because the judge, who was famous for his laziness, fell asleep during Steven’s presentation. The judge just gave him the black belt.”

>>33667000
Seagal has told more tall tales than Walt Disney but the side-splitting truth is that when the fatman has been in a position to substantiate some of his physical claims he’s usually he’s been made to look a fool. There isn’t a more amusing Seagal tale than the time he was choked out by Judo champion and stunt coordinator Gene Lebell. Seagal, who has a history of abusing stuntmen on the sets of his films, often by kicking them in the nuts when they don’t expect it, finally got a taste of his own medicine when he arrogantly declared he could never be choked out by anyone, and lo and behold, was taken down by Lebell. The reason this story is so funny is because not only did Seagal pass out, but he proceeded to urinate and defecate all over himself in the process

BUT HE PROCEEDED TO URINATE AND DEFECATE ALL OVER HIMSELF IN THE PROCESS

BUT HE PROCEEDED TO URINATE AND DEFECATE ALL OVER HIMSELF IN THE PROCESS

>>33665900
bait thread
seagal is a big fat faggot liar weaboo

>>33666661
How about the time Seagal ran away from his eternal rival Jean Claude Van Damme at a party at Stallone’s house? Sly remembers it:


“But I remember once, at my home in Miami, I believe it was in 96 or 97, Van Damme was there with Seagal, Willis, Schwarzenegger, Shaquille O Neal, Don Johnson and Madonna, it was a heck of a party. Van Damme was tired of Seagal saying he could kick his ass and went right up to him and offered him the chance to step outside so he could wipe the floor with him, or should I say wipe the backyard with him. Seagal made some excuse and left. His destination was some Ocean Drive nightclub in Miami. Van Damme, who was completely berserk, tracked him down and again offered him a fight, and again Seagal pulled a Houdini. Who would win? I have to say I believe Van Damme was just too strong and Seagal wanted no part of it. That’s just my opinion.”

He has a pretty horrible reputation in the industry, as one of the bitchiest primadonna pussies you'll ever run into.

Somebody I know was on a movie where they had to suspend filming for several days because Segal couldn't stand the smell of fresh paint from the next soundstage over.

>>33667067
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=5&v=OLQHJ54ZE5o

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>>33667068
Based Van Damme

>>33667067
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3dgJ6ihR6E

>>33666999
>Seagal “would surely die of starvation if he was given a compass and a map that led to a restaurant five miles away.”


keking hard

>>33667068
>Van Damme, who was completely berserk, tracked him down and again offered him a fight,
Knowing Van Damme, he was probably jacked after snorting cocaine like crazy.

>>33667040
yeah, that was all here >>33666711

>>33665900
>Is Steven Seagal the most /k/ approved celebrity?

He's a lying sack of kike shit.

>>33667111
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1QHE7Lp6tw

>>33667160
>
BUT HE PROCEEDED TO URINATE AND DEFECATE ALL OVER HIMSELF IN THE PROCESS

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I'm thinking about becoming a member of Seagal's armed vigilante posse.

I was wondering if this a good loadout? (pic related: its me)

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>>33667306
>I train with my 1911 every day, this superior weapon can shoot helicopter down because it is folded over a thousand times, and is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth.

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>>33665900
If you're looking for an older celeb with a love for 1911s and who isn't a total asshole I'd rather go with Tom Selleck.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtkgoGY4Cm4

>>33667294
>I'm thinking about becoming a member of Seagal's armed vigilante posse.
For what purpose?

>>33667371
He want to be the cook.

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>>33667371
>>33667446
i want to be total badass like Seagal and serve my country and protect our freedoms and stuff

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>>33667097

>>33667483
I can fully understand that. I am waiting for Keanu Reeves to start a group like that.

Now the difficulty is will it be a John Wick style, Matrix style or Bill and Ted's style.

*Note reCaptcha called a pot a wok. These people cant cook.

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Montly reminder that Seagal is autistic and copies everything from video games and Larry Vickers youtube channel

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2b5bG8Rcpxo

>>33666920
Shilling implies payment anon.
Replying to any posts will bump the thread.
If you don't like the thread ignore it and move on.

Also, Under Seige and Marked For Death are awesome.

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>>33668143

>>33667294
>Larping as a fat autist.
That rear trigger saiga stock is aids.

>>33667068
Just the idea of them all casually hanging out is wild

>>33667366
he's on the board of directors for the nra too

>>33668222
Holy fuck. My friends dad always claimed he was Para rescue in the air force. Always told dumb outrageous stories ripped from movies. Now I know where he got the "bullets filled with mercury" story.

>>33667227
I HAVE PROCEEDED TO URINATE AND DEFECATE ALL OVER MYSELF IN THE PROCESS OF RESPONDING

>>33666532
Gene Lebell is not "a stuntman".
That's like calling Bad Rutten "a bouncer"

>>33668397
>I HAVE PROCEEDED TO URINATE AND DEFECATE ALL OVER MYSELF IN THE PROCESS OF RESPONDING

THATS SEAGALS BUDDHIST MIND POWERS HE CAN PROJECT RUNNY SHIT QUITE A DISTANCE BY THE POWER OF HIS MANWHALEZEN

>>33668517
ok judo guru

>>33666004
>fat underage manlets
NOW YOU TAKE THAT BACK

>>33668352
>Holy fuck. My friends dad always claimed he was Para rescue in the air force. Always told dumb outrageous stories ripped from movies. Now I know where he got the "bullets filled with mercury" story.

The original was a finish assassination of a Russian governor called Eugen Schauman with a .32 ACP HP that contained a mercury that dental amalgam. Do not put mercury in a bullet. Do not. It will become very brittle as the mercury reacts with lead forming a solid

the most famous scene/book with mercury bullets is day of the jackal.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enBM3SQwryE

>>33665900
dudes fuckin 70 years old
he's a b-movie 'has-been'
fuck this shit

>>33668800
>dudes fuckin 70 years old

65, and fibbs like a spergy kid that learned everything he knows from video games.... May he IS the most /k/ celebrity....

>>33669029
>/k/ celebrit

k may be fuckwitted but not seagal sub-basement level fucktarded

>>33669063
You're right. At least Seagal actually owns guns.

Isn't he also some sort of officially approved buddhist god reincarnation?

>>33667366
what movie is that from?

>>33666413
what about Clint?

Someone post the gif of this fat fuck "operating" in one of his recent Delta Force / SEAL Team 6 / Green Beret wannabe C-movies.

Clearing a building with his protective paunch, his rifle's buttstock is always at least 6" away from his shoulder IIRC.

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>>33669238

I think it was this one. Just look at this cover. It's like he won the Make-A-Wish for overweight dads who wish they were operators.

>>33666999
"autistic with numbers"

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>What is this cheek weld you speak of

>>33667817
>Bill and Ted style...

Niggah, you just made my day. Thanks Dude.

>>33669288
The fuck???

A how can you get up in the morning, knowing that you're crafting such utter vomit?

Co-star with Van Damme? Wtf?

Explain this faggotry!!!

>>33665900
>>worked for CIA
Complete bullshit. He also told people he was really a SEAL.

>>Reserve Deputy Chief Sheriff
>>20 year LEO veteran

You do realize that the department he was with made that position up as a joke right? There's no such thing as a "Reserve Deputy Chief Sheriff".

>>33666207
>http://articles.latimes.com/1988-02-14/entertainment/ca-42829_1_steven-seagal/3

>"You can say that I lived in Asia for a long time and in Japan I became close to several CIA agents,"

An actual CIA employee would never, ever, ever ever ever call a CIA operations officer or analyst a "CIA Agent".

Because an Agent is a source that is being worked, not the officer working the source.

>>33670005
>You do realize that the department he was with made that position up as a joke right? There's no such thing as a "Reserve Deputy Chief Sheriff".

<sniff> I wasted my life following that dream!

>>33670005
Is that position like an honorary doctorate for mearly being popular (once upon a time)?

Who would want him as a local cop? According to this thread, ho seems to mix up reality and fantasy on the regular. That, coupled with the fact that most of the bad guys end up with broken arms or a knife through their skull in his movies... fuck having such a clown given a badge.

>>33667294
how many Snickers do you have in those mag pouches?

>>33670080
>Who would want him as a local cop?

A department wanting a good public image and that Discovery Channel money.

And then Segal fucking rammed through the wrong house and killed someone's dog.

>>33667366
>practice
based.

>>33667350
Thanks Ken.

>>33667483
give that man cialis, he can't keep his left hand up.

>>33670179
>give that man cialis, he can't keep his left hand up.

Based on the stories that have been coming out about his recent direct to video stuff it's very likely he's leaning against the wall to make it up the stairs.

A lot of his most recent stuff does a lot of filming with him sitting down because he can barely stay on his feet longer than 5 minutes.

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>Daily reminder that this is what Steven "Deadly" Seagal do in Russia..

>>33670241

Lol he's doing the Russian version of the "Dad Dance".

>>33670241
if that fat autist was mocking my culture like that, I'd slip some polonium into his green tea.

>>33670144
>And then Segal fucking rammed through the wrong house and killed someone's dog.

Local LE didn't hold his interest, so he joined the ATF?

>>33669936
No, Van Dam

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>>33666062
>Chris Pratt, Keanu Reeves, and Alton Brown are infinitely more based.
Fuck yes and they also have the advantage of not being a walking meme.

Seagal is a fucking joke but that's the point of this thread I guess.

The three are cool guys, we forgive Keanu for his wooden acting because he seems to have (mostly) good taste in roles and is a legit bro by all IRL accounts and Chris Pratt seems generally cool and we know Alton Browne is cool irl as well as having a great show.

Seagal just makes wish-fulfilment movies where he's always the cool guy and everyone is super impressed by how cool and tough he is. Not to mention all that 'I was CIA operator' bullshit that he goes on about. Not even mentioning the weeaboo shit.

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>>33666545
>Martial autist

>>33670839
>wish-fulfilment movies

This. Sad, but true. He would have been remembered semi fondly (or gracefully forgotten), if he had tapped out 25 years ago. I doubt anyone would feel poorly of him, and he'd have a truckload of money to retire on. Win/win for him and the innocent public.

But no, we had to suffer this :>>33669288

>>33666585
Is he shooting the target from like 5ft away?

>>33665952
my apologies, /k/. I confused Seagal with Stallone.

Seagal is pro funs. mea culpa.

>>33667294
>I'm thinking about becoming a member of Seagal's armed vigilante posse.
>I was wondering if this a good loadout? (pic related: its me)
You'll fit in just fine.


>>33667735
>>33667350

How does he have more hair at 65 than 36? It's a mystery.
Maybe he ages backwards like Merlin.

>Nicknames
> The Great One
> Lord Steven
> The Master of Aikido

>Steven Seagal is a striking and somewhat boyishly handsome (often with ponytail) action star

>Seagal's fighting style was rather different from that of other on-screen martial arts dynamos such as Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme, who were predominantly fighters from striking arts background such as karate or tang soo do. However, aikido is built around using an opponent's inertia and body weight to employ various locks, chokes and holds that incapacitate him. Seagal carries himself differently, too, and often appears wearing Italian designer clothes and usually favors an all-black outfit, generally with a three-quarter-length coat with an elaborate trim. Additionally, Seagal's on-screen characters were often seemingly benign or timid individuals; however, when the going gets rough they reveal themselves to be deadly ex-CIA operatives, or retired Special Forces soldiers capable of enormous destruction!

Holy shit! The imdo pro subscription really gets you value for money!

>>33668280
>Just the idea of them all casually hanging out is wild
You know that some drunken party like that is where The Expendables came from. They were sitting around talking about how the cool kids like Clooney and Pitt ripped off original Brat Pack with Ocean's Eleven and were like: "We could do that but with guns"


>>33668397
I PROCEEDED TO URINATE AND DEFECATE ALL OVER MYSELF IN THE PROCESS OF READING

>>33668775
>the most famous scene/book with mercury bullets is day of the jackal
That's probably where the idea came from.

I'm pretty sure that >>33668222 is CPU paste though.

>>33669288
>he's watching my six pack of nuggets
:_:

I guess Van Damme fell on hard times. Money is money.

>>33670080
>That, coupled with the fact that most of the bad guys end up with broken arms or a knife through their skull in his movies... fuck having such a clown given a badge
Doesn't make him that different from most deputies.

He probably donated to the sheriff's election campaign and got a deputy badge as thanks. I'm sure it's volunteer and the sheriff buddies up to him for the campaign donations and lets him volunteer with the group when they're doing some exciting raid that isn't too dangerous but also not too boring.

>>33666881

>Law enforcement LARPers

This will hopefully be dead and gone by the time congress inevitably forces the armed services to adopt a standardized uniform. There's nothing cringier than watching people in civil protection run around pretending they're some kind of delta ranger operator.

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>>33669188
It's one of the Jesse Stone movies, can't remember which one.

They're slow-paced made for tv detective stories, not really 'gun movies'. Most of them have a scene at the police range and an officer-involved shooting.
My favorite is when he enters a room, gets shot by a panicking lady dual-wielding .22 revolvers, stumbles for a bit and then double taps her in the chest.

>>33671393
>uniform
LEO larping as soldiers isn't going anywhere.

They might not end up using the same camo but there's no way that US police forces are going to pull back on their tacticool gear or their militarisation. What about the last ten years or even just six months makes you think that either the US government or society in general is becoming more peaceful or tolerant?

Civil unrest is only going to grow and police will become more militant in response (or anticipation).

If anything, their larping is going to become reality.

>>33666836
pretty aesthetic

>>33668775
>day of the jackal
That movie is amazing.

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>>33673235
what's with that wonky CG, they would've been better off with old school practical effect edited over

>>33673235
RIP qt3.1416

>>33671321
>Doesn't make him that different from most deputies.

Got me there.

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Reminder that Seagal is the one who invented the hand switch technique

Guys like Larry Vickers just copy Seagal and try to act like they came up with it by themselves.

>>33669936

Rob Van Dam

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0885942/?ref_=tt_ov_st_sm

>>33670839

That's the clip I was looking for, thanks!

>that filename

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>>33669288

>>33673728
>shooting at the ground
>carrying any bladed weapon in your back

He's an expert alright.

>>33666756
Eating a carrot doesn't make you /k/ disprooved.
Steven is just more famous version of this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYWGF8Hrkg8

>>33673743
That's a shoop to make it more cringy.

>>33673830
>more cringy
Desired effect was achieved. 8/10. I'd give it a 10/10 if he somehow shoehorned the word "aesthetic" in there somehow.

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>>33673830
>>33673848

>>33666004
I MAY BE FAT
BUT I AINT NO MANLET YOU HEAR

>>33665900
Dangit Caseless.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Chff-QCudw8

>>33673786
>>BUT HE PROCEEDED TO URINATE AND DEFECATE ALL OVER HIMSELF IN THE PROCESS

>>33673499
>Got me there.
I wish we were wrong anon. I really do. There's been quite enough threads on /k/ about the quality of deputy sheriffs in podunk little towns where they're totally unaccountable.

>>33673593
>That's the clip I was looking for, thanks!
>>that filename
You're welcome.

I got that clip and that filename from two separate posts in yet another of these exact threads. All I did was join the concepts, I can't claim credit for them.

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>>33674436
>I wish we were wrong anon.
No worries Dude. I'm an Ausfag btw, and whilst cops are far less trigger happy here, they're just as big cockmonglers as anywhere else.

>>33666711
Why are they allowed to swear on the radio in america?

>>33665900
He certainly isn't bad but as others have said he should have tapped out years ago.

>>33671172
>How does he have more hair at 65 than 36? It's a mystery.

He stopped masturbating

>>33674445
>I'm an Ausfag btw, and whilst cops are far less trigger happy here, they're just as big cockmonglers as anywhere else.
Auscops can be cockmonglers but rural deputies in the US are a whole different thing. The degree of power they wield in their little communities is bizarre and it's not replicated elsewhere.

>>33666004
I'm not fat but I am a manlet.

>>33666004
>6 foot
>120 pounds
>constantly mistaken for a girl
My dreams of being clint eastwood tier were dashed by shitty genetics

Talked to him on the phone once, seemed nice

>>33674539
>>How does he have more hair at 65 than 36? It's a mystery.He stopped masturbating

he can't fins his dick anymore

It's somewhere under the rolls of fat

>>33674707
>Talked to him on the phone once, seemed nice

BUT HE PROCEEDED TO URINATE AND DEFECATE ALL OVER HIMSELF IN THE PROCESS

>>33670865
What the fuck is that thing on the right

>>33673922
>tfw you will never own a Colt 1911 in .38 special
Mixed feelings here honestly.

>>33674445
>cops in australia
>cockmonglers
Are you being a cunt to them? Because every single cop I've ever met or had to talk to has been extremely personable. Whats the bet you're the kind of fuckwad who goes 40 over the speed limit and then accuses them of revenue raising?

>>33673363
Why do they need machinist scriber for?
Set up the height and scale object?

>>33666004
I'm 6'1" and 170 lbs, but I only have a 91/30.

>>33674936
It's called a woman.
Maybe you'll meet one one day if you're lucky.

>and she's unlucky

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>>33666004
>Implying most of /k/ isn't fat underage manlets
not fat, but I am king of Manlets

>>33675144
>tfw 5'11" skellington

>>33666299
Sounds a lot like something you might see at one of the /k/ meetups, desu

>>33674695
sup baby u want sum fuk

>>33675152
>5'11 is manlet
pls my guy, i'm barely 6'0. you're making me worried.

>>33666004
>19
>5' 8"
>130lbs
Meh, 1/3. I don't really mind being a manlet that much, it's worth it just for the looks I get when people realize the skinny manlet is the one who brought the loudest gun on the range. Even with double earpro the tinnitus is real, hot loaded PPU 8mm Mauser out of a 23" barrel is no fucking joke.

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If Seagal isnt a badass and real deal then why would a macho man like Putin hang out with him?

>>33675527
You actually like people to think you're "compensating" for your height? You are a bigger man than I. Mentally I mean, not physically.

>>33667294

LOL, you look like the guy who is just kitted out in all that gear so the real operators don't have to carry it. And when you inevitably die like the untrained burden you are, they can just loot gear as needed.

>>33673563
Wheres the on where he's basically hoverboarding across the set?

>>33675005

They used it as a position marker so they could more smoothly animate the AT-AT models.

>>33675744

Putin is a manlet faggot.

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>>33665900
His movies aren't bad, but if he had kept something in common between them like a James Bond type series they would be waaaay better.

He could have incorporated similar faces like Q and spy tools.

His collection of one-offs could be better by that simple modification imo.

>>33666585
thjat looks dangerous, I don't think his movie prop experience is going to translate well to real guns.

>finger on trigger

>>33666881
>SBR AR

opinion has just lowered

>>33674695
then cut your fucking hair you dingo

>>33667350
I do like that he does brass checks the old school way, but he tries way too hard to be "operator" like.

>>33667111
Why are these guys running right up to him with their guns

>>33675932
Seagal has been a shooter for at least as long as he's been an actor. Back in the day he blew almost as much money on piles of custom 1911's as he did on ammo to shoot through them.

It's part of the real tragedy of Seagal. He could be a good, cool action star. But he's too far up his own ass and drunk on his own kool aid to recognize the things he has to fix about himself or even to just stop phoning things in constantly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnw08iNb51U

>>33665900
He also taught the Taliban how to do Hapkido, so that makes him a pretty big faggot.

>>33666666

>>33666881
Pretty much confirmed the stereotypical nature of yo typical deputy sheriff; fat mallninja delta-wannabee faggot

>>33677338
>He also taught the Taliban how to do Hapkido
>Hapkido
So he correctly foresaw that they would become our enemies and altered their combat training to their detriment?

Seagal 1, Stallone 0

>>33675919
That wouldn't work, he keeps changing ethnicity. He used to be super Italian, then he went all Native American, then Chinese, then Black, then Slavic

>>33667294
get fitter first.

>>33666755
hillary lost, go home

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>>33677544
like Deputy Chief Seagal?

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Seagal gives Aikido training to Serbian police special forces. Thats pretty badass.

They even gave Seagal a Serbian citizenship as a gift

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>>33677719

>>33677222
In that clip, he sounds like a guitar collector I know. He had a lot of very nice guitars, a lot of anniversary models, special editions, artist signature models. Very expensive, probably $10,000-$20,000 worth of guitars. I saw a guitar he was trading in. 50th anniversary Fender Strat. He had owned it for 10 years. Never played it once. The tag was still on it. I heard him play. He was alright. Nothing special.

All these master build hand engraved 1911's are nice, but if you can't shoot them properly, why bother. I am positive if you gave Seagal his muti thousand 1911 and the average infantry solider a hi point, the hi point would win out. the skill is in the hands of the individual.

>>33677518
oh boy, i totally forgot about that ... hillarious

>>33677518
That's because he's ultimately /are lad/ and is intensely neurotic about what he actually is: a Jew.

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>>33677895
Ain't Judiasm inherited from the mother's side? And his Dad's the Jew, right?

>oh wait, he can't even get that right. Sorry lads, nothing to see here.

>>33674976
Um, no. Try again faggot.

>>33678010
He's Jewish enough for Howard Stern to always pronounce his name in the Jewiest way possible to, in theory, piss him off. That's enough

>>33674769
OH SHIT DON'T START THAT AGAIN, AAARRGGHH FUGG [WHIZZZ] [BLARRRG]

>That shit's contagious, thanks arsehole.

>>33678026
Nice, the more you know, eh?

>>33674495
its a podcast famalam

>>33674495
Why aren't they allowed to in your country?

>>33666711
That story is bullshit (LeBell is a notorious liar) and Rogan is a poser faggot.

>>33667366
>fucking airsoft mags

>>33666642
Vince Vaughan on the 2A: "I support people having a gun in public full stop[sic], not just in your home. We don’t have the right to bear arms because of burglars; we have the right to bear arms to resist the supreme power of a corrupt and abusive government. It’s not about duck hunting; it’s about the ability of the individual. It’s the same reason we have freedom of speech. It’s well known that the greatest defence against an intruder is the sound of a gun hammer being pulled back..."

>>33678411
Doesn't look like it imo, it looks like he's actually firing blanks and just about every quality 1911 magazine manufacturer makes stainless mags. Maybe you have better eyesight than I do but they look like Wilsons or Cobras or whatever.

>>33675744
>If Seagal isnt a badass and real deal then why would a macho man like Putin hang out with him?
I'm sure that Putin thinks he's a fucking joke like everyone else but Putin's core demographic are stupid, drunk Russian nationalists who love Seagal's movies, even the shit ones.

They're the MAGA crowd of Russia, not the sharpest knives in the draw and they're the reason Putin does shit like pose bare-chested on horseback and go hunting and shit (the hunting is purely for them I think, isn't Putin actually an animal lover irl?).

Those guys eat up the photo ops that he does and Putin keeps them close and loyal by feeding their love of manly things

>>33665900
poor troll

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>>33665900

>Is Steven Seagal the most /k/ approved celebrity?

Over Charlton. "You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold dead hands" Heston?

No, I don't think so.

>>33676212
>Why are these guys running right up to him with their guns
Well he's not going to look very cool if they shoot him from the other side of the room.

>>33678784
>sharpest knives in the draw
>drawer
Oops

>>33678796
>poor troll
202 posts and counting, OP seemed to do ok.

It's really a thinly disguised Seagal mockery thread anyway.

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*teleports behind illegal*

>>33678026
>He's Jewish enough for..

Apparently he's Mongolian now too.

>>33678784
>the hunting is purely for them I think, isn't Putin actually an animal lover irl?
The two aren't mutually exclusive.

>>33670241
>>33671172

seriously, how much plastic surgery has this guy had? His face barely moves under that glued on goatee.

>>33674445
>cops are far less trigger happy in Aust-
https://youtu.be/nUKc1GEeCqU

>>33673541
>>33673550
>>33673563

I can't tell if this is a great idea, or stupid.

>>33678344
Steven please you are not fooling anybody

don't you have some kids to go play pretend with right now

>>33679397
I guess it's fine if you're ambidextrous, don't have a dominant eye, and find yourself constantly sneaking around homes without checking any corners.

>>33666062
>Alton brown
Every time I see the gun pics he's posted I remember why I wanted to grow up to be him.

Impeccable taste personified.

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>>33665900
>mfw my mom unironically is a huge fan of his films and see him as how /k/ sees Hickok45

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>>33679575
>sneaking around homes without checking any corners
Always check the corners kid

>>33673550
Gee Steve, your mom lets you have TWO watches?

>>33678344
>That story is bullshit (LeBell is a notorious liar) and Rogan is a poser faggot.

Hey Steven! Can I get an autograph!?

>fat
No shit he's an old man.
>Autistic
This is 4chan so I'd say his approval should be a no brainier.

>>33679085
Citation please.
This thread is fun. Make it even better.

>>33679620
Fucking miller, he was the best part of that show.

>>33679575

I'm gonna defend this tactic.

You can hug the corner better, and you don't need to lean out as much. It's not really about accuracy in this case; it's cqb, more "point and shoot" quicker, with less exposure at close range.

I could be wrong though.

>>33680090
Maybe he's tracking another time zone where it's gmt+X:30? Only reasonable explanation I can think of.

>>33680090
>>33680444

Seagal is a Buddhist, right?

Nepal is gmt+5:45, I'll bet you that's it

>>33673541
>>33673550
>>33673563
is seagal ambidextrous or cross dominant or just fucking retarded. Like, I see what he's doing, but it doesn't seem to make a lot of difference in the grand scheme of things

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>>33666413

>>33678571
it was going great until that last bit

>>33665900
wouldn't Keanu be our guy after the John Wick stuff?

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>>33678832
He was truly on another level.

>>33679397
Switching hands seems fine to me. Seagal uses weaver-ish stance and onehanded sometimes so his pistol is a little to one side. Modern practice is isosceles so the gun is dead center and there's no advantage to switching. What Seagal IS doing wrong is
a) not checking corners, he just kinda slides around them with his gun poking out
b) switching hands mid-movement, he may expose himself to an enemy when he's not ready to fire. (Same goes for any other administrative action, don't clear when your weapon isn't ready, stop and do your shit then continue clearing)

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>>33669409
Wow. That's just plain not giving a fuck.

>>33680898
It would break my heart if wouldn't be able to shoot all my guns regularly and I'm getting to that point...

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>>33680090
Fuck, I never saw that until you pointed it out.

>>33680196
>Citation please.
>This thread is fun. Make it even better.
Your wish is my command sempai, this thread can only get better.

>"I have never seen such temples like this in my life," Segal confessed at a meeting with the Buddhists of Kalmykia, which took place in the conference hall of the Golden Cloister. By the end of the meeting it turned out that the Kalmyks were connected not only with a common religion, but also with ancestry - his grandfather belonged to one of the Mongolian tribes. However, the choice in favor of Buddhism, Steven Seagal did not at all for this reason.

Via Wikipedia footnote 18 and Google translate
http://savetibet.ru/2007/12/17/steven_seagal.html

>>33680207
>was the best part of that show
>was
Anon, have a little faith. I was quoting from the books and not from the first one.

>>33680540
>Like, I see what he's doing, but it doesn't seem to make a lot of difference in the grand scheme of things
I think it's a reasonable thing but the actual point is to look cool. These films are his mid-life crisis, that he's been having for over 20 years now but still.

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>>33680090
Laughed harder than I should have

>>33681021
Is it possible that the right hand one is actually a compass or something tacticool?

The only devices I can think of are an altimeter that skydivers wear there and a depth gauge/diving computer that divers wear. I don't think he's being a SEAL in whatever POS direct-to-DVD trash that's from, so I have no idea what it could be.

>>33681415
I went over all three of the clips, they both look like actual watches, the hands are just visible.

>>33666999
sure as hell with that GET, that you are just as autistic with numbers

>>33666585
Wtf kind of grip is that?

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>>33681444
I'm samefagging a bit here but whatever.

There are shitloads of pics of him wearing two watches irl, so it's his personal affectation that he wrote into the script or whatever, same as the hand-switching I guess.

This one has him wearing a tacticool watch with flashlight in it, lots of other pics are just regular watches.

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>>33671172
>How does he have more hair at 65 than 36? It's a mystery.

As usual, the internet has done the research.

>>33667073
That's autism

>>33667111
Nothing personell kid

>>33680516
>Seagal is a Buddhist, right?
Nigga, Seagal is a tulku. I'm not even kidding.

In a fringe benefit this actually makes some sense out of his expansive and ever-morphing backstory.

>>33680660
Counterpoint: Vaughn prefers double actions.

Did OP expect such a quality thread, jam packed with opinion, humour, reflection and psuedo doxxing?

I still wanna know if Keanu Reeves will start a vigilante posse, who are exponents of "Bill & Ted" style weapons and tactics.

Pertinent issues.

>>33677222
aLMOST NO DIALOGUE IN THAT CORRESPONDS CORRECTLY TO GUNS, IT'S LIKE THE ULTIMATE "i MAKE SHIT UP" GUN SPEECH.

>>33665900
It's just a shame his movies are pretty shit. Especially recently, they just keep getting shittier and shittier. Like his American Sniper ripoff.

>>33681665
>Counterpoint: Vaughn prefers double actions.
Most action stars probably do because for years they've been starring in films where they're constantly pulling back hammers with loud CHK CHK sounds.

Seagal movies make me think of bald, beer gut English football hooligans that get really pissed at the pub, get a curry on their way home, call the owner a Paki and then crash on the sofa in yellowing Y fronts and a curry stained shirt.

Not sure why. These movies just make me think that, AND YOU CAN TAKE THAT TO THE BANK!

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>>33667294
You should wear this.
Perfect fit

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>>33681021
>his grandfather belonged to one of the Mongolian tribes.

Thankyou >>33679085 You did make the thread better.

>>33665900
>"Supports gun rights"
>Statist
>Statist
>Statist
>Has a large 1911 collection
>Has a large katana collection
>Communist Statist
>Hangs out with neckbeards in Arizona
>More communist statist shit
>Even more communist statist shit

No

>>33681578
You know, I wouldn't be surprised at all to find out that Seagal was legitimately autistic.

>>33666756
> Eyyyyyy, what's up doc?

>>33666701
You've seen the photos from the meetups, right? He'd fit right in.

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Steven Seagall is the last of the 20th century adventure men. he's traveled all over hte world, kicked the asses of bad guys, got the girl and saves the natives, and make it home just in time to play some sweet sweet blues.

>>33684272
>I wouldn't be surprised at all to find out that Seagal was legitimately autistic
I would be a little surprised if he wasn't say, 'on the spectrum' but he's not actually autistic. Just fucking weird and with a serious lack of self-awareness. Which is funny in an aikido-ka but I guess they have to have them too.

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Seagal would be the perfect choice to portrait Simo Hayha

>>33684210

It's like he watched Dynamic Pie Concept's "tactical blind fire" and took it seriously.

>>33676212
every kung fu + gun movie ever. Even MGS does this.

>>33683490
You miss my point, anon, should have gone with DAO. I mean that if an intruder hears the hammer of a double-action being pulled back, it's because someone is pulling the trigger.

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>>33677719
Looks more like cobra to me desu

>>33665952
Why is being heavy considered such a bad thing?
There are usually a lot more advantages to being heavy than thin.

>>33668280
>wild
Stop worshipping other human beings, you mental case.

>>33687811
Classic fatty-fatty-two-by-four response. Being overweight by any measure is worse for your health than smoking. It's easy to lose weight if you're willing to suffer and it'll make every conceivable aspect of your life better. If you really don't think you can handle the discomfort of not shoving your face with food, operate at a 5% deficit indefinitely and you'll still lose weight slowly but without having it on your mind.

>>33669184
>Isn't he also some sort of officially approved buddhist god reincarnation?

BUT HE PROCEEDED TO URINATE AND DEFECATE ALL OVER HIMSELF IN THE PROCESS

>>33684268
>Putin
>Comunist

>>33673541
>>33673541
>Reminder that Seagal is the one who invented the hand switch technique


BUT HE PROCEEDED TO URINATE AND DEFECATE ALL OVER HIMSELF IN THE PROCESS

>>33674539
>He stopped masturbating

BUT HE PROCEEDED TO URINATE AND DEFECATE ALL OVER HIMSELF IN THE PROCESS

>>33677719
>They even gave Seagal a Serbian citizenship as a gift

BUT HE PROCEEDED TO URINATE AND DEFECATE ALL OVER HIMSELF IN THE PROCESS

>>33678832
>>>33665900 (OP)>Is Steven Seagal the most /k/ approved celebrity?Over Charlton. "You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold dead hands" Heston?No, I don't think so.


Heston is king for eternity

And his movies are fucking all time classics unlike seagulls b move splegs

>>33684343
>Steven Seagall is the last of the 20th century adventure men. he's traveled all over hte world, kicked the asses of bad guys, got the girl and saves the natives, and make it home just in time to play some sweet sweet blues.

BUT HE PROCEEDED TO URINATE AND DEFECATE ALL OVER HIMSELF IN THE PROCESS

>>33684499
>Seagal would be the perfect choice to portrait Simo Hayha

No. Leave now and never come back. Never

>>33666756
What the hell is wrong with carrots? I'll fight you bitch.

>>33684499
Yeah. If you are russian and have any interest in making the finns disgust their own national symbols.

>>33674695
Eat like a man and lift some goddamn weights. It really is that simple. It will take you years to achieve or months to quit and stay a girl, choice is yours fag.

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>>33679590
Alton "nigger grave digger" Brown
Whichever anon posted that gem back in the day thank you

>>33675152
Lanklet uprising when?

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>>33679604
Really?
Under Siege can be a little fun; honestly what triggers me most about it is the "nuclear" submarine that is clearly a tiny ass diesel electric

>>33685199
>You miss my point, anon, should have gone with DAO. I mean that if an intruder hears the hammer of a double-action being pulled back, it's because someone is pulling the trigger.

You're right, I did. I also got double and single the wrong way around.

My point was that action films are full of cocking sounds anyway, so I could see how an action star might think of the sound as the deterrent.

Imagine an actual hollywood film that is going to show how some homeowner is a secret badass who later needs to go save the president or something.

>it starts with some punks pulling up outside the house
>house is tasteful but minimalist, looks like it was self-built by a competent manly man
>talking about how he's got a nice car and a hot wife
>they sneak up to the door and pry it open with a crowbar
>they high-five and enter the unlit interior
>as they're about to fan out in the antechamber (scratch that, this house has an entrance-way, not an antechamber) they hear a sound
>HAMMER AUDIBLY COCKS
>camera zooms in on an corner, showing a hand holding a huge revolver
>they drop their tools and weapons in a panic
>run out the front door and sprint for the car
>it peels away in a cloud of smoke leaving rubber on the road
>camera pans back to house and moves into doorway
>our star is standing confidently among the discarded weapons and tools chuckling, holding a huge revolver

I think that's the kind of thing he was probably talking about. I get that you're talking about how he secretly meant that he'd just shoot them.

>>33688116
>What the hell is wrong with carrots? I'll fight you bitch.
There's literally nothing wrong with carrots but he looks ridiculous eating it.

>>33687853
I'm not fat I just get picked up and body slammed in fights all the damn time. If I were fat it probably wouldn't happen all that often anymore.

>>33690344
This is why action films that aren't assassin related (John Wick, Collateral) or the punisher are shit.

>>33690344
Now I just want to see a movie where a grumpy old man needs to be a bad enough dude to save the President while complaining about electronics and shooting bad guys with a SAA.

>>33691491
>This is why action films that aren't...
Like all the ones posted in this thread?
We're on the same page there anon.

>>33691761
>Escape from Gran Tarino
I'd watch it.

>>33668775
Does anybody actually practice the whole "stabilize the rifle with a rope" thing? I've seen that in Saviour as well, didn't know if it had any real world basis.

>>33692095
I mean, it's sound, but you could just lean against the tree like a normal human being.

>>33691491
>forgetting Assassinkino like Ghost Dog or Le Samourai

>>33687811
Because it's unhealthy and generally keeps you from performing just about anything as well as you could if you were fit.
I hope you're just trolling

>>33691344
Stop being a weak manlet or stop getting in fights

>>33693892
I'm pretty sure he's talking about MMA.

Nobody gets body-slammed on a regular basis because they go to the wrong club. They'd go to a different club if that was the case.

>>33674695
>muh genetics

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>>33677222
>we are short on material
>just shoot another scene with steven showing you guys his guns
>should we write a script?
>no just let him waffle on and look impressed as if you had never seen a 1911 before
>ok ill get the soundguy
>no fuck that shit nobody wants to edit that