An elf thread here in /k/

>>33661672
Respect nature and its gifts, and don't take them for granted, and you'll already be doing better than most quicks.

Don't make comments like, "The gun weights almost ten pounds, it might take getting used to from a bow" or some shit. Elven warbows are 80lbs draw minimum, and we train to use them equally well with either hand. We're lean, not weak. Not a biggie, just gets irritating after repetition five million. We've heard all the ear jokes, and no, they're not a particularly erogenous zone as a rule, so stop that.

The noise fucking bothers us. Like, a lot. We're fucked if we don't have good earpro.

Pack some digestive aids. Our food doesn't have any chemical bullshit you quicks dump into everything, and a lot of you end up suffering for hours on end as your guts adjust to actual food.

>>33661709
Can we hit on elf girls? You're not gonna kill us for trying, right?

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>>33661672
>Fighting for the fucking hippies
>Not based dark elves
Outlanders go home, pale skins we war you

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>>33661709
Well, ya zog, ya do haf sum gud pointz, but it'z groxkrap wiw da draw weight. Yah, drawin' a bow is fukken hard, we knowz dat. Da bow doesn't weight 80 poundz tho'. It weighs more like 1 pound, 2 max. Gunz are heavy, and iz a botha fer yer non-green gitz ta lug it 'round. Shootin' it iz eazy tho'. Da bow is light ta lug 'round but a fukken nuisance to draw. But ya can dakka even if yer purdy little armies are fragg'd.

Moot point 'bout da digestive crap. I'z seen 'oomiez dat eat breddy much anyfing like us or da gruntaz and dey'z fine.

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>>33661743
I don't see why not since elven males are equally attracted (and horny) towards human women too.

>>33661753
Yeah and you Dark Elves worship an overglorified dumbass spider; including her male scorpion counterpart. And you all act so edgy it hurts.

>>33662134
>overglorified dumbass spider
DELETE THIS FILTHY OUTLANDER

>>33661672
Wow you guys are fags.
Cut this shit out.
This is weapons, Not RPgen

>>33662145
Take a look at >>33619923

Besides 40K threads pop up in here too, and clearly 40K's a /tg/ thing, yet its also here in /k/.

Also /k/-related vidya too.

you are worst elf. you are the elf idiot you are the elf smell. return to sarenbel. to our sarenbel cousins you may come our contry. you may live in the zoo….ahahahaha ,hgih elf we will never forgeve you. hippy rascal FUck but fuck asshole elf stink hgihgardan sqhipere shqipare..peac signing worst day of my life. take a bath of dead eld..ahahahahahHGIH ELF WE WILL GET YOU!! do not forget war of elvin aggreeson .wood elv we kill the king , wood elf return to your precious groves….hahahahaha idiot High and wood elf smell so bad..wow i can smell it. REMOVE KEEBLER FROM THE PREMISES. you will get caught. human+drawf+orc=kill elf…you will ww3/ trump alive for humans, trump making album of humans . fast rap trump usa. we are rich and have gold now hahahaha ha because of trump… you are ppoor stink elf… you live in the forest hahahaha, you live in a tree
trimp alive numbr one #1 in usa ….fuck the sarenbel ,..FUCKk ashol elves no good i shit on the root of ur tree and peepol. troomp aliv and real strong wizard kill all the elf farm aminal with meme magic now we the human rule .dark god of lies hIllery clintone fukc the great satan and lay egg this egg hatch and elves wa;s born. stupid baby form the eggn give bak our clay we will crush u lik a skull of pig. human greattst speecees

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>>33661709
Oh you an elf bro, anon? Tell me elf, what guns do your kind like or prefer to use? My gut thinks and says high elves prefer using PDWs, pistols and SMGs. Mostly to wield in one hand, and their other hand is their magical offensive or defensive spell.

Wood elves be using rifles, snipers or to have a challenge, shotguns.

But either way, what guns do you elves like using or prefer to use?

>>33661672
elfs are self righteous hipster hippies
enjoy your stay at arrogant woods
also they only drink soft drinks, wine and that expensive Kayne/elf water, so you better have your own beers

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Hey, anyone got any info on those tunnel fighting weapons Dorfs are coming up with? I've heard stuff about drum & belt-fed shotguns to remove goblin&drow.

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>>33661672
Might interest you OP.

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>>33661672
You're OP pic's somewhat funny OP.

That pic was used as a cover for a fictional story that was based on an actual account of two or four soldiers who're assigned in excorting two elven nobels.

Which is pic related.

>>33662246
Dwarves using guns???

I thought those hairy little drunken midgets only use their precious axes while drinking crap tons of nothing else but alcohol.

SOAKING

WET

ELFPUSSY

ON

MY

MASCULINE

HUMAN

DICK

>>33661672
>What advice and tips can you give a little ol' corporal about elven culture and whatnot so I don't make myself a complete fool to our elf bros.

Well obviously don't put too much trust into them, I will tell you this. They're sneaky little faggots, so put a good eye on them and if they are even a little suspicious than stalk them. A red flag is if they say shit like " we don't want you here ".

> I'm gonna be shipped out and stationed in the elven nation/country of Sarenbel.

I also got shipped in an LAV-25 as a gunner, it's pretty uneasy down here. Especially when any elf could be an enemy.

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>>33661753
>Hey Dark-Skins, tell me this. Do you have guns, tanks and attack aircraft in your arsenal or available for access? No? Yeah, thought so. So shut the fuck up.

>>33662315
Of course, the guns are sturdy enough to accept axe bayonets. You know the hairy stocky fucks.

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>>33661672
This is artillery officer Jenkins of the U.S Army. Requesting enemy coordinates.

>>33662277
That was entertaining but holy shit, did a high schooler write it?

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>>33661672
>Only a few months ago just barely survive the battle of Moonlight Bog, lose all hair on body to fireballs and practically melt the barrel of my M16
>Now have to pull fucking escort missions for keeblers, not even allowed to call them keeblers to their face
How the fuck did we lose The War of Elven Aggression bros? Fucking knife ears still used bows and arrows for fucks sake.

>>33662556
>lose all hair on body to fireballs
That was white phosphorus you dingus.
You obviously walked into some friendly artillery fire without knowing it or called it in wrong.

The knife ears don't use that sorta shit; too bad for nature or something.
And we won moonlight big. I had a guy just transfer in who was there and he keeps telling stories and showing pics of stacking the elf corpses after they ran out of body bags.
They were at least six deep.
And I still call 'em Keeblers and knife ears to their face. I guess it just depends on your FOB.

>>33662246
The longmaw.
It is belted, but it's not a shotgun, it's a fucking belt fed .22 magnum with 700 round belts.
The idea was that they could simply depress the trigger and send one dwarf in, simply hosing everything with a bunch of bullets, and when he ran out, the next dwarf would move to the front of the line.

They're fun, and they can carry a metric fuckload of ammo for them.
It's a shame that the second the goblins figure it how to strap a bit of pot metal to themselves the entire R&D process and manufacturing BS wil have been wasted.
Thankfully the dwarves always carry extra shit.

It's happened at least once though.
I know a dwarf who has, ahem, "acquired" and M240 after a situation roughly like I described happened.
He's nearly deaf at this point, but I'll be damned if watching a pile of 7.62 RFN belts waddle around on stubby legs with an M240 isn't just the most hilarious shit you're ever seen.

>>33662781
>The knife ears don't use that sorta shit
The grey skins do, fuckers don't give a shit, they'll burn down the whole fucking forest if they see something moving in it.
If elves are subhuman, I don't even know what you would classify darkies as.

>>33662862
HAH! Silly fuckers. Beltfed .22mag sounds like something I'd fucking want to try. I figured they'd like some big-bore shotguns too, for when you need to clear that side tunnel off intruders in one thundering burst bouncing plated 0000 buckshot from the cave walls in event that you missed. Kinda like a thing to a shotgun what general purpose machinegun is to a rifle. Foehewer, or however they call it. When they dig their heels in in their pretty armour, they don't give a fuck about recoil with their low centre of gravity.

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>>33662556
>On patrol with squad in thick ass forest near Moonlight Bog, we're farther from base than we should be
>Start taking marksman fire, probably with a captured rifle, SL orders us to spread out and find concealment
>Step on a spike trap and it spears me through my leg
>Crawl into a bush and nurse myself back to help, gunfire died down in the meantime
>Trying to find my squad without alerting anything else, instead come across knifears looting their bodies
>Part of me wanted to crawl back to base, another wanted revenge for my brothers
>Stalk them all the way back to their camp and make note of where it is then return back to base
>Tell base commander what happened and where the camp is
>He orders a napalm strike on it and gives me a pat on the back
>Later step on a knigger-rigged land-mine and lose my leg
>I come home to gigantic protests against the war and our treatment of knifears
>Someone throws a brick at me

>>33662925
Darkies got fucked hard by the forest fuckers, and are some hard bitches. I'll take on a thousand tree niggers before the blackies.

They are smart too, and resourceful. Why we don't ally with them is beyond me. Ironic too, the darkies are the ones who got kicked out by the hippies. Totally different for humans.

>>33662232
Elves never use guns in my experience, however I've only been in the fight for about a week so that's all circumstantial.

From the ones we've interrogated, they're just loud and hard to use. That's why flashbangs are so effective at disorienting them.

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Why ain't I surprised humans signed a fucking peace agreement with the knife ears? Always were a bunch of pussies during the war.
>Be me
>Ma Deuce gunner for squad
>Join squad, human government wanted some of their guys to team up with us, our government was drunk enough to agree
>We get tip off that some local village near the forest is harbouring knife ears
>An elf sympathizer may as well be an elf
>Whole squad fixes axe bayonets to their standard issue M60's and roll out
>Except the humans, who are wield some tiny toy guns and don't even put their knifes on them
>We get to the village
>We all start interrogating the human villagers
>Fuckers are being quiet
>Figure fuck this, shoot down a door with my M2
>Humans in squad stare absolutely dumbfounded, start mumbling something about "ROE"
>Fucking humans and their weird language
>Me and two other dwarfs start sweeping the area
>Lo and behold there's a fucking elf holding her faggoty little son close to her and spitting something in fucking elf tongue
>Get the fuck out of there, gather squad, and run out
>Get to the radio and relay the coordinates to the 700 grand
>Human squady confused until he sees the entire village suddenly sink into the ground
>"Holy fuck! It's a sinkhole"
>"Nay laddie! It's the muzzle of a 700,000mm gun!"
>Gun fires
>Everything left of the village atomizes
>Every human in the camp is on the ground screaming, blood pouring out of their ears
>One even screaming some unitellegable babble about a "war crime, killing civilians"
Humans laddie, can't even handle a wee boom

>>33663413
Hur hur hur! Dat'z dem 'oomies for ye. Dey kan't even handle yer good ol' PKM firing from da shoulda, much less a zoggen Kord or a shoulda-mounted autokannon. An' don't get me startid on dem zoggen knife-ear panzies. Dey'z alwayz sneakin' aboot and steppin' on me frog 'n' toad, makin' me get mah city-slickas. Faggoty elves.

Gotta hand it to 'em tho', dey got sum purdy (and purdy fierce) gurls, hur hur. Gotta loot 'em.

>>33661672
daily reminder that elven wombs belong to human men

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>>33663530
>implying us humans need natural strength when we have powered exoskeletons that put us way above any ork or dwarf could ever be physically

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>tfw government forced to set my elf slave free after the war
Come back Ranis, I miss you

>>33663413
>dwarf
>machine gunner

Nice Beard McBeardson, everyone knows you stunties aren't tall enough to use the sights on any crew served weapon that we design. Go back to your cave and drink your shitty mushroom brews, you midgets trying to pretend you're a separate race. At least elves know how to make some decent liquor, more than can be said for you fuckers. Inb4 he starts bragging about how "hot" dwarven women are. If I wanted to date bearded women, I'd date an italian, greek, or persian. You bring nothing to the table.

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>>33664658
>Human can't handle Dwarf alcohol, thinks elf piss is good

>>33664702
>can't handle

If by that you mean can't force myself to drink shit brewed with the mold you scrape off a cave wall because there are literally hundreds of human and elf breweries that do it the right way, then yes, I suppose I can't "handle" dwarven shit brews. What really gets me, is that they have the audacity to call what they make beer when it is not by definition beer because they use fucking lichens and mold instead of hops and barley. Beardnik please, at least elves looked up beer in a dictionary before trying to brew their own to make sure they were doing it right.

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>>33664756
Damn shame they didn't look up "how not to die" during the war, yet somehow you humans still managed to lose

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>>33664702
Zoggen 'oomies, roight? I dunno why ya beardiez hang out wiw dose weaklin' gitz and not wiw us moar. We've got so much in common! Fer example, big dakka, choppin' people wiw large blunt or choppy implementz, loud muzik an' booze.

>>33664787
Wait, they didn't look up how not to die, which made us lose? Beardnik, go see a doctor, I think your shitty cave brews have caused a fungal infection in your brain which is impairing your cognitive faculties.

>>33661753
Still butthurt about all those scale skins teaing your shit up knife ears? Hope they sack your cities a few dozen more times

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>>33661672
Hah, lookit those fags unfortunate enough to be stationed with elf.
Orcs are clearly the bestest bros out there and qt orcfus are superior to skinny elf bitches.
>strong and proud martial tradition
>strong and sturdy enough to shoulder fire a Kord or M2 Browning
>can alone carry more than three elfs put together
>don't cry their eyes out if you deploy defoilage agents, clear your field of fire from vegetation or happen to kill a durr
>orcfus got hips and ass to die for
>orcfus love human males due to the higher average CHA
>orcfus also think your average human male looks like an elf that is also willing to fuck them
>orc males got 12" dongs and think your average human male looks feminine, morale among marines improves 1200% when deployed with orcs

Clearly the superior race.

>>33664874
Thats an Oni m8

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Hello, thread OP here. I should thank the following for some useful insight.
>>33662120
>>33662237
>>33662342

Especially for a friendly elf ally >>33661709

And to any and all fellow infantry/marines stationed there in the elven lands of Sarenbel. I also just wana make sure I got my understanding of the history of we we the people of Ulgaria and the elves of Sarenbel are now friends and in an alliance:

>An 'evil' faction that is the "Dark Heart Pact", who're essentially Saturday-morning-cartoon villains and are composed of Orcs, Goblins, assorted evil mages, Dark/Drow Elves and even orgres decide to invade and take over Sarenbel.
>Coincidentally, the Dark Heart Pact heard of us; the land of Ulgaria, and decided to invade us too. But we prevented them from setting foot further into mainland Ulgaria because we have guns, tanks, aircraft, battleships and missiles.
>One of the numerous Dark Heart Pact guys who we imprisoned tell us of their invasion of Sarenbel and where its geographical location.
>Ulgarian Military Forces arrive at Sarenbel, make contact with the good elves and both learn and realize we have a common enemy.
>Ulgarian leaders and the elven council of Sarenbel decide to team up to kick the asses of le eveel dark forces with a combination of firepower and magic-whoop-ass.
>Both we the people of Ulgaria and elves of Sarenbel become good friends and decide to make our alliance long term.
>Now Ulgaria helps Sarenbel with certain technological advancements and scientific knowledge, we share some of our firepower with 'em and the Sarenbelians elighten us a thing or two about magic.
>We continue them evil forces out of Sarenbelian lands till they're out.
>And now both Ulgarain and Sarenbelian High Command are planning and or deciding a decisive move against the Dark Heart Pact.

So did I get my little history lesson correct?

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>>33664900
...Also I understand there are gonna be trolls and shitposter spouting anti-elven rhetoric. But to any openly staunch anti-elf people out there, quit that attituded.

The human-elven allaince so far has been growing strong for the past five years and both races have made helpful contributions to helping each other. Not to mention you have family members and friends who are close with elves, so show some respect and or friendliness to our lovely pointy-eared allies.

>>33664874
>liking orcs

Oh sure "Orcs are strong," "Orcs are sturdy and fun hardy people to be with 'cause they have funny southeren accents and make big clunky weapons."

Imean Really know? But the question is, are Orcs civilized enough people to hang around with long enough to the point they won't quarrel with you for petty masculine-related reasons? In which they may or may not be intoxicated as a dwarf?

I don't think so, so quit saying those green savages are "fun."

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>>33664900
Fuck off with that peace smoking "elves are our friends" bullshit, I lost too many friends to those fucking keeblers during the war of elven aggression to stand here and listen to you tell me everything is hunky dory now, can't believe we actually have to play ball with them now.

At least the race mixin' faggots who kept elf slaves got BTFO.

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>>33665013
>, so quit saying those green savages are "fun."
oh yes they are

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>>33664874
Damn roight, green is da best! WAAAGH!!! Also, when ya loik sumfin moar tender, ork lolis are kute.

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>>33662335
Implying human women don't thirst for handsome or even cute elven men.

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>>33661672
>>33664900
>>33664974
OP, you sure? Really sure you want to be "good friends" with these bastards?

>>33661672
Go back to Tumblr and erp there you queer

>>33665064
>human women
>twink elfmen
never getting together lul

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>>33661672

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>>33665115

>>33665114
Clearly you do not know what alot of human women are unsurprisingly in to.

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>>33665013
>civilized enough people to hang around with long enough to the point they won't quarrel with you for petty masculine-related reasons? In which they may or may not be intoxicated as a dwarf?
Those are marines you're thinking of.
Orcs are fine.

>>33665032
>>33665041
>Sticking your pecker into an Ork
You horny bastards are going to get some kind of fungal dick rot.

>>33665133
Evidently not according to dubs
What do human women see in elf men then? I can see why elf women want a stronk test-filled human man to dominate them, but what the hell do the women see in low-test knife ears?

>>33665169
>he dont wanna get snu-snu'd by an orc maiden
fucking plebeian

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>>33661709
Do elf girls like human men? I'm not one of those guys that wants to fuck an elf becasue he has fetish for them i want a real love and family with 2+ kids, i've heard stories about elven women becoming amazing moms and wives once they got married and preggo.

Try being stationed out here on the Q'ilinka Plain, at FOB Badwater.
Imagine a place so flat, it looks like Satan took an iron to a pool table. Then heat it up to about 130 fahrenheit in the shade.The only "people" here are some desert cat tribes that love to raid the caravans we're supposed to protect. Once a week a C130 drops off the mail, and gives those Chair Force clowns something to do for 5 minutes. Once a month a supply convoy shows up with "fresh" food, and fuel.

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At least dwarfs and orcs can shoulder fire a PTRS-41, only a few humans can do that effectively. I haven't seen a single knife-ear hold one nearly steady, let alone fire one.

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>>33665169
This anon is clearly affraid of fungus. I shit you not, it is a real phobia, and it is hilarious IRL.

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>>33665300
Dorfz, orkz and crazy slavs unite! We've got so much in common!

>>33665115
>>33665123
Purdy. Girls 'n' gats is a nice combo even in elves. But really, or/k/z when?

>>33665181
Go right ahead and get orc herpes, orc gonorrhea, Or whatever those nasty bitches carry. Just don't go running to the medic when your junk starts looking like a rotten eggplant.

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The best mix of martial prowess, strenght, hips and moral boosting is clearly 7 foot tall amazons.

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You faggot excuses of humans over glorify these weeb knife ears. dwarves and orcs carry superior weaponry and tech.

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>>33665335
i think you might be gay, or a knife ear, or a gay knife ear

I want to die

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>>33665357
>mace ftw

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They are racist as fuck

I got landed with a Scoia'tael division to help against the Russian backed Radian empire. It took 3 months to get them to use "filthy dh'oine technology". I don't know how but they would break their polymer guns with their swords to prove how week they are. fucking assholes.

they also won't shut the fuck up about their linage. yes, you're apart of the elder blood, no i don't care about how the humans took your land that you took from the Dwarves and Gnomes.

>>33665395
SNU SNU
N
U

S
N
U

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>I'm gonna be shipped out and stationed in the elven nation/country of Sarenbel.

It's called the north pole you fuck

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>tfw no quarter elf gf

feels bad man

>>33665457
>quarter elf
>not pure elf
c'mon bud

>>33665465
>wanting a gf who will outlive you and cuck your ghost with some BIG DWARF COCK

>>33665457
>implying those pointy ear faggots don't have magic and other bullshit medicine to extend your life spam but they just keep it to themselvs cause they're faggots
Make an elf woman fall in love with you and she'll pull some strings to expand your life lenght.

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>>33664874

>Be me, a simple grunt with the 432nd infantry
>Sent to the east end of the blade edge mountains
>Fucking cold, fucking rocky, fucking windy. Landslides happen on an almost hourly basis
>Razor drakes around here have been known to dive bomb in and take a man's head off in one maneuver
>Had to set up steel nets over base camp just to keep the fucking things away. Even those don't work all of the time.
>Sent in to help set up an eastern defense line in case of Drow attacks
>The Orcs around here hate the Drow too and we are here to help train them and set up proper political ties with the nomadic clans
>Have to spend a lot of time just training the Orcs. Most of them have never operated a firearm before and the ones who have have only used the odd boomstick scavenged from old battlefields
>These guys have spirit, but they are barely in to the iron age technologically. Still using axes and polearms
>Still a 9 foot tall Orc with an axe longer than he is tall with a head heavier than a cast iron stove is not something you want to mess with
>Lucky me, I got assigned to train the female division. All members of an Orc clan take up arms when it is time for war. Men, women, children, elderly, invalids. All of them.
>The thought is that if the men go out and fight and lose then the rest of the clan is bound to die anyways. Might as well throw everything you've got in one explosive punch
>Well the 'girls' in my group have taken it upon themselves to see just who among them has the beauty and charm of winning my heart
>Not sure if they mean heart literally or what. Found out that Orcs don't actually have a word for love.
>Not even sure what they see in a guy like me, none of the other instructors are having this problem
>Hell, some of the Orc pre-teens are taller than me and I ain't exactly a short guy. But to an Orc lady I'm straight up manlet tier.

>>33665515
>ake an elf woman fall in love with you and she'll pull some strings to expand your life lenght.

I'd prefer if she just pulled my string

>>33665527

cont

>It might be cute if these women weren't 8 feet tall and over twice my weight in pure muscle
>I ain't a picky guy but I like my ladies soft and... without tusks. Don't mind the green skin too much though.
>Still I got a job to do and damn if I'm not gonna do it
>Would be easier though if I could get them to knock off the 'flirting'
> "Private Anon, please help me, my massive fingers are too large to operate the trigger on this full sized machine gun"
> "Private Anon, I can't seem to get the top buttons of my uniform to stay put. Will you help?"
> "Private Anon, I broke my industrial grade mythrilluminum sleeping cot with my incredibly thick ass and thighs, can I use yours tonight?"
That last one, believe it or not was 100% verbatim
>Yesterday I found a fresh sheep's skull underneath my cot. It had a knife through the left eye
>Took it to the brass thinking it was some kind of death threat. Figured maybe some Orc guy didn't like how friendly I was being with his tribe's women
>The commander laughed when I showed him
> "That ain't a death threat private. That is a marriage proposal" he said, trying to choke back his laughter
>Brass says I can turn it down... but if I do it will be a grave insult. They won't say it to my face but they are hoping I accept. A few marriages will really help solidify political ties in the area.
> If I don't want to marry her (still don't know which one gave me the skull btw) I'll have to fight her using the knife planted in the skull... maybe to the death.

Man I sure do miss Elf lands. Back there I just fucked 200 year old Elf sluts that looked 19 and got drunk on Feyberry wine every night. My brother got stationed in the middle of Halfling lands. He's probably getting fat on delicious Halfling food and fucking 3' tall bar wenches while I... while I figure out how I'm gonna tell mom and dad about their future daughter in law. Fuck it, at least my sons will be tall.

>>33662145
FUCK off, this is fun and we need fun.

>>33665555
Quads of tall half-orc prodigy! You go at her, man!
Use the tusks as handles when you fuck her boobs. She'll love it.

>>33665555
Those quads show you got some mad orc pussy

inb4 was she hot?

>>33665555
d o i t
strong half-orc sons will be the best oper8rs known throughout the lands

>>33665555
Digits don't lie
Good luck surviving the wedding ceremony, party, honeymoon, pregnancy, and if you've never seen an orc circumcision ceremony.....Well....

>>33665555
have cute half-orc babies
be careful not to get your pelvis crushed though

>>33665669
Orcs aren't jewish, no circumcisions

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>>33665250
As somebody who married his qt elf he met on his 1st deployment i can give you some advice.
First of all elf women are very distant and cold to foreigners due to fact that it's usually about rape or caputring them as sex slaves. Don't be too pushy, start as a friendly guy that talks to them everytime you meet them if you do patrols, nothing serious like if you have boyfriend or anything just typical shit like "oh what's that in your basket" or "i've heard that [insert name of elf food recipie] is quite good, is that true?". Something that will get conversation going for a few minutes then say goodbye and go do your shit. Whole point of it is for her to know that you do not want to rape her or kidnap her and sell her as a sex slave as apparently this often happens. After that you're golden, good elf girls usually have one partner in their lives so if you'll find one that isn't dumpster fire you've got high chance of her being virgin saving herself for her future husband (you).
After some time if she's comfortable being around you it's your sign to ask her out, she'll blush and will hesitate for a second but she won't say no if she's not afraid of you.
From there is just like with human woman, dates, getting to know eachothers and then relationship, tough i warn you. Good elf women do not lust after your dick even if they really like you, it took mine 1,5 years of dating filled with typical lovey dovey shit before we had our 1st time. But it's worth the wait.
Like i said earlier, good girls usually have one partner per life so if she'll let you taste her snatch this means she wants you to put ring on her finger, and i STRONGLY advise do it. It's been 3 years and she never failed me, always supports me and nags me about her desire to have 4th kid.
Also like >>33665515 said, she'll use some magic to make sure you both grow old together.

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>going after green pussy

human amazons too much for you? sad

>>33665678
>half-orc babies
gross. species mixers will be the first into the dragon powered ovens

>>33665691
>no circumcisions
You were warned.

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>>33665032
>>33665149
No other girl like orc girls

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>>33665678
What about Orc-Elf hybrids?

KILL ALL THE FILTHY KNIFE EARED SWINE

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>>33665767
This


FUCK ALL FAIRY ELF SHITS

>>33665766
Nice dubs, but I don't think those exist, they're polar opposites

>opposites attract stupid

Orcs and Elves don't apply to a Man's metaphor of love and magnets

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>>33665742
>implying you have any dragons
That's orcish article, y'know?
We might lend some of our dragons to fire dorfen forges and in return get them to teach us runic forging. And other trading technology. Just imagine. Bloodsteel barrels with runic axe bayonets? And that sexellent NIJ lvl IV++ dorfen plates?

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>>33665555
Don't be a faggot, create a good and lasting alliance with the orcs by siring as many orc-human children as possible. They will help pave the way to the future, and likely literally as well.

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>>33665789
I've heard stories, but it just may be fetish material

>>33665812
Now, the real question is what do you get when you mix ork and a dorf?
A slav?

>>33661672
good thread

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BREAKING NEWS

We now have confirmation that some humans have betrayed their own kind, taking up arms with dark elfs, and sabotaging our weaponry and plans. This video shows a man doing just that.

>>33665864
That's clearly a halfling you retard.

>>33665875
You will not question Fox News, we'd love to report your mysterious death.

>>33665889
how about you report o some female orc x human lewds and where to find them

>>33665706
Still torn about whether or not I want a wood elf wife. Maybe I'll see what's available next time my squaddies and I are out on contract.

Also, I've been hearing rumors from some ex-integrated infantry dwarves in the taverns that there's some new demon shit or whatever on the far edges of their borders, do we got a new war on our hands? By the way they were talking it was some new shit, like 3-4 weeks recent.

I know I got my money and shit from the war of elven aggression, but hell, I might re-enlist in the regfor if there's going to be some nutty fights going down.

what the fuck is this thread

>>33665998
I dunno. Haven't seen this in /tg/ for so long that the cancer is becoming fun.

>>33665917
Man, you don't want to be fighting demons. Some of the fuckers can take bucketloads of .50" Beowulf. Curiously though, good ol' buckshot does wonders on them. Them dwarven hairballs might stand a good chance with their tunnel weaponry.

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>be me, assigned to teach the dwarves how to use heavy machine guns around asa bay
>get to reloading
>"do this, do that"
>apparently takes to long
"Drudkh! radio the-" couldn't really hear over their constant, extremely loud finntroll, which is on 24/7
>loud boom, maybe 4-5 miles away
>feels like the whole sky comes down
>the target, maybe 400 yards away erupts in a massive explosion
>too close
>Humvee's windows shatter
>arm gets cleanly ripped off
>deaf in one ear, nearly in the other

On the bright side, they replaced the arm with a cool dwarven prosthetic arm.

Racial breakdown.
Ever since the Convergence. (CERN made a wormhole.) We've encountered many different humanoids.
Alarmingly ALL share 99.9% of human DNA, asking members of said races all end up of stories of "Creators" (Elf) "Architects" (Dwarfs) "Great Spirits" (Orks). And the presence of other sentient species. Demihumans. (Animal human hybrids also share 99.9% of human DNA.) Until further notice, ALL contact with exohuman population is to be halted due to potential for contagion.
United Nation Security Council.

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>>33666054
Hah! Dorfs are sumteimz as impatient as us orkz are. How zoggen drunk waz yer bosses to tell YA to teach DORFS how ta use MG's? That'z like showing 'em which way 'round ya hold a hammer.

>>33666136
>United Nation Security Council.
Even it members don't care about what it says

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New, orcish tech

>>33665555
>Tall sons
>Strong daughters
>Land-dwelling, vertebrate wife

As far as forced marriages go, you got pretty lucky. On my end, I ended up with a an Octopoid because the higher ups wanted their ports to defend against pirate raids.

>Literally boneless so the bedroom has to be flooded for her comfort
>Suction cups are a bitch and a half to detach from every surface
>Tentacled in my sleep because my body heat makes her comfortable
>Occasionally spooked when she oozes out of places she was napping in

I mean I got used to it but the first few months were pretty weird. Wouldn't trade it for the world though since she's pretty smart and sweet, obviously a bit clingy, and we're expecting our second quad of kids. The job market around here though is a bit slim, divers aren't exactly in demand when everybody can breathe underwater, but thankfully saturation diving is still a thing because the deep living ones aren't into working for "shallowboys". The food is a pretty great bonus though, all the fresh fruit and seafood you can stomach.

I am thinking of gifting a fancy compound hunting bow for this cute elf slave I bought, loved, and recently freed. What are the elves's usual opinion on our compound bows?

>>33666583
I've seen elves use crossbows, chances are they wouldn't mind a compound bow since it's relatively similar to what they would be using otherwise.

>>33666436
Is she at least humanoid with a pretty face?

>>33666136
Elf.
>These Exohuman's are nearly identical to baseline humans, being indistinguishable from normal humans from a distance. Their defining characteristic is their tapered ears, and lean bodies. Elves, like humans have multiple different racial subgroups. They are as following.
>"High" Elves.
These elves are the most advanced, in both technology and governance. Their appearance is of cream colored skin, blonde hair, and blue/green eyes. Most elves never reach 6ft/1.9M and the average height is 5'4 to 5'6. 1.5 to 1.6M.
>"Wood" Elves.
Arranged in tribal societies, Wood Elves differ from "High" Elves in skin color, eye color, and physical stature. They are very xenophobic, though this justified by being preyed on by High Elves, "Dark" Elves (more later) for slave labor, Dwarves, (cutting down their forests) Orcs, (Slaves, and food supply.) Due to this Wood Elves are very quick to violence, and must be approached with caution.

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Guys help
>patrol during night in some elf village that's located on the border with orc lands
>just empty streets and my partner just fucked off to elf brothel
>boring shit untill i hear scream
>i run to see what's it about and find out it's a bunch of orcs trying to rape and kidnapp some young elf woman
>do mozambique drill all 3 of them living the girl intact
>come to a girl trying to ask in my broken elvish if she's okay, only notice know that she has 10/10 pair of tits, dem elf genetics
>she starts crying and throws herself at me
>radio to base saying i dropped some orc niggers
>they tell me they'll be there in 10 and meanwhile i'm supposed to escort any civis to safety
>try to ask girl where she lives
>my elvish is shit since their stupid language is so fucking complicated
>she says something, can't understand much but i decoded that she lives nearby
>offer to walk her home
>she smiles, grabs me by my arm and starts tugging me towrads her home i guess
>at her place her family starts thanking me, her dad and mom can't stop hugging me and giving me pats on the back, all while sayng something in their language
>like i said, can't understand much so i'm assuming they're saying thank you
>i just nod my head and say "yes, no problem" in elvish repeatedly
>just waiting for a right moment to fuck off
>her dad leads me to some room and sits me next to her
>grabs my and her hand and start saying some prayer or some other shit
>i notice that the girl blushes furiously
>suddenly behind my back her mom fucking pierces my ear and puts some weird ass looking earring in it
>girl gets the same looking one
>her dad finnishes and suddenly all of her family starts clapping while qt jumps on me and kisses me
Can somebody tell me what the fuck happend? I slept through elf customs lecture. What did her dad do? Am i like family friend? is that ring some sort of payment? But if yes then why did the qt got one too? And also her dad told me i can sleep in her room from now on, weird.

>>33666605
Not quite, like imagine a pretty girl's torso on the underside of a regular octopus. Link related:

https://exhentai.org/s/7c988e187c/383893-17

>>33666601
I was wondering if elves have spiritual hippie magic soul shit regarding their bows. I am afraid she might not like a carbon fiber compound bow because it's "soulless and unnatural"

>>33666680
Take her hunting with one as a cutesy thing. Ask her if she liked it at the end, and choose that way. Good bonding experience.
>>33666675
You got married fuccboi, have fun living in an elvish town for a long ass time until you can convince them you want to move out.

>>33666675
nice digits
My guess is marriage, what happened next?

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>>33661672
FUCKING GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING KNIFE EARS FUCKING SISSY-ASS OANSY FAGGOTS GODDAMN SHIT-ASS BREAD-EATING FUCKING FUCKERS

I AM ANGRY. ANGRY ABOUT ELVES.

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>>33666678
>sad panda

I don't want to clear my cache and cookies, don't want to lose my save in a porny flash game.

Something like pic related?

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>>33665998
Looks like /tg/ came to visit. Still more pleasant than when /pol/ and r/fullcommunism stop by.

>All these people
>Mingling with elves
I can't believe I live on the same planet as you people.

>>33666734
This link should work better, and nah:

https://e-hentai.org/s/9401816aa8/383893-7

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>>33665347
>be fighter pilot, flying recon over the inphor jungles
>deployed with the 45th air tigers, supporting the Amazon tribes in the war of elven agression
>suddenly, loud thumps in the engine, compressor stalls
>fucking knife ears has sent a suicide bird into your engine
>engine goes dead
>glide plane towards friendly territory and punch out
>make it to the ground without a scratch despite the heavy foilage
>activate emergency beacon and head for friendly lines
>after two hours you pause by a small stream to drink
>while kneeling by the stream you feel like someone is watching you
>look behind your back, see pic related
>Amazon ranger, out to rescue you
>she has a small radio, radios back to base to report she found you
>that's what you thought at least
>"Amazon patrol 781-5, no sign the pilot, continues search" she reports while giving you a wicked grin
>cold shiver down your spine, slowly try to back away
>amazon places one hand on your shoulder, holding you in an iron like grip
>her other hand is busy untying her side tie panties under her ahort loincloth
>close your eyes and accept your fate, struggling at this point won't affect the outcome, only the ammount of bruises and how tired you will be at the end
>six hours later Amazon reports you found with possible hip injury and exhausted from exposure
>she princess carries your battered body back to the outpost
>she gets a citation and a picture of her carrying you through front gates ends up in several newspapers
>fucking amazons

Amazons, not even once.

>>33666760
kek

What's it like fucking her? I heard rumors they can voluntary control all their pussy muscles in all directions, hnngggg.

>>33666746
Bunch of fucking normies up in this thread anon. Should never trust a fucking knife-ear, that's just basic fucking logic right there.

>>33666746
Look man, they're already here and doing COIN with these fuckers would be a nightmare, and many of them are DTF. So shut up, whip it out, and do your part to add more human DNA to their genepool.

>>33666804
Those aren't rumors, they're facts, and the best part is how she can make different sections ripple, twist, and vibrate independently.

>>33662145
>no fun allowed

Neck yourself, faggot

>>33666851
Fucking hell, how do you even last long enough inside to satisfy her?

>>33666895
You just gotta remember, she's doing all that with her own pussy so she feels it and wears out at around the same time as I do, after the first round I have to take over since she's basically knocked out.

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>dating knife ears and amazons

you all are like babies. real men date Titans. found one into fire arms too. she has sweet break action 406mm pistol. shes always really thankful, if you know what i mean, when i help her clean it after a shoot.

and what i mean is a game of cave explorer

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Is it true Elvish snipers use .50 cal over any other caliber exclusively? It's almost the .45 cal meme and Orcs with pistols

>>33666776
I heard most Amazonians have sensitive shallow tight vaginas, so you can bottom out and make her scream with only a 6 inch penis.

Must be weird, fucking one and she's spasming like a petite catholic highschooler in her first time; but at the same time, she's breaking your hips and spine with her luscious strong thighs..

>>33666965
>Elves
>Able to ruck a .50 plus ammo
Trust me that would where them down faster than drawing a bow however many times. Not mention it's heavy enough they can't do that fucking weeb run thing they love.

>>33666932
Ever did prostate stimulation with those tentacles?
Or it's considered gay, and would reflect badly on the human race. Unless she can keep a secret..

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>>33666712
Fug, that'd explain why i'm allowed to sleep in qt's room even though they have guest bedroom but i don't think elves allow interacial relationships, i think they're just nice casue i saved their daughter
>>33666713
>After that qt dragged me to her bedroom
>thought she wanted to thank me or something >but instead she closed the door and started underssing
>i told her i need to report to my sergeant
>i wished her good night and told her to sleep tonight off and she just giggled and told me she won't be getting any sleep with me around
>i apologized and left
>she was probably intimidated, having stranger in her house
>after that i returned to the place where i killed orc niggers
>recovery team with sergeant already there
>when i show up they look at me and start to laughing
>sergeant chuckels and asks me from where i got this ring
>i told him that some elf woman gave it to me as thanks for saving her life
>he laughs and says to just get my ass into humvee and that i need to write report once we get to our base
>next morning i'm told i have visitor
>it's qt
>she's all flustered basically shouting at me asking me why i didn't return home and that she was worried about me
>i tell her base is temporary home untill my deployment ends
>she just grabs my hand and storms off with me
>on our way out i meet sergant and he just starts laughing and says my things will be delivered to me today
>i don't understand, am i being reloacted?
>i try to ask qt why am i still needed
>she just says to be quiet and that she'll have a talk with me once we'll come home
I guess i've been relocated to qt's house as temporary guard to make her and her family feel safe, today she asked me what i wanted for dinner i said anything she'll prepare for me is fine and i am grateful for her and her family having me. She just squeezed my hand and blushed and didn't look at me untill we got back to her place.

>>33666746
>tfw will never get to turn the natives into soylent blue

>>33667047
That's a hazard yes, the problem is her tentacles literally have minds of their own and will go for any warm crevice when she's asleep or distracted. Dealt with it by tying them to the headboard at first, then lots of training to keep them out.

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>>33667005
why do Amazons have shallow vaginas while short stacks, gobs and dwarfs, have cunts deeper than the Marianas Trench?

>>33667058
You're married you dense faggot, now collect those mad married guy bennies from S1 before they lose your paperwork.

>>33667058
Apologize, give her the dicking. Make some bullshit up about the military and then do the dirty, make sure to keep going even if you're tired to make it up to her.

>>33667132
Not many male species have dongs long enough, so their vagos adapated.

>>33667132
The amazons with deep vaginas couldn't get satisfaction except with various livestock animals, where do you think the beastmen come from?

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>>33667145
>>33667150
Thanks for advice i'll do that. Never thought i'd get gf or wife. Idea of living in that town is also growing on me. What happens when she'll get pregnant? Do i have to resign? I don't want to drag her around me depending where i'll get deployed + She's been saying for the past few days that we can wait few years but she wants cluster of kids once we'll get our own place. I don't want drag my possible family from place to place. Can i like sing some papers that i want to be permanently stationed in some base or i have to resign and find some job in town?

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>tfw everyone else in the thread got assigned somewhere cool and you get stuck in a fucking Dwarf city
>tfw everyone around you is always drunk and smells like absolute ass
>tfw everyone around you insults you for not being drunk and smelling like absolute ass
>tfw have to permanently wear enchanted earpro because dwarves think firing the 700,000mm at 3am in the morning is fun
>tfw anytime you get leave there's nothing to do because dwarf beer taste like boiled mold
>tfw for the first few weeks you thought there were no women
>tfw you realized there are dwarf women, but they look exactly like the men, beards and all
>tfw they also are always drunk and smell like absolute ass
>tfw entire dwarf city is about 50 millions stairs and about 40 feet of normal straight ground combine
>tfw command wanted the dwarves to respect you, so they made you lug around an M60 with a fucking axe bayonet all day and a stupidly oversize war hammer on your back
Fuck my life

>>33667274
See if you can become a liaison with the local government. Once your contract is up, join local gendarmerie. Have lotsa pointy eared kids, and live the life. There's nothing left on this side of the rift, you're better off there.

>>33667335
Christ that's rough buddy. Look at it this way though, if you make it through without arthritis and hearing loss you'll. Actually you know what nevermind. There is no silver lining. Good luck.

>>33667274
You might be able to get stationed in the town with the right amount of sweet-talk to your CO, and considering the relations right now they likely wouldn't mind having some of their guys in local towns.
Depends on how long you're company would be deployed for, you might need to resign at the end, but you never know. With enough resources being found there's a ton a opportunities to stay enlisted and deployed, or make a decent living as a civvie. Hell, I'm just going back and forth trading stuff and protecting caravans these days, on contract, but I make enough.

>>33667335
>not being an independent oper8r
first mistake laddy

>>33666776

I remember my tour.
>I laughed when the tops decided to put strap-ons in our kits. "Why the fuck would I need a strap on?" I thought
>Thought I had won the perfect deployment. I was naive.
>Fighting manlet wood elves who still use sticks as weapons, Giant bitches hungry for dick 24/7
>Should have been great
>It wasn't until I met the outgoing guys that I felt a little nervous
>Out of a hundred or so men about a good twenty had broken hips, some rather severe.
>Not one man had been injured in combat
>One guy laughed, then cried when he spied the pink strap-on sticking out of my pack
>"You lucky fuck" he said, tears in his eyes. "They didn't even give us lube!.".
>I learned that very first night how lucky I was
>Amazons don't waste time on pleasantries... or words
>The first girl just walked in to the barracks. She just pointed at me before sitting right on on my lap. Didn't even care about the other guys in the barracks.
>They'd warned us about this in orientation. Told us to expect some very forward advances
>I'd be a liar if I said that that first round wasn't fun, two hours of the roughest, sweatiest, loudest sex I ever had.
>By the end I was a sore but satisfied lump
>Then came the second girl. She didn't care when I said I needed a minute
>I'm a soldier, I powered through... but then came the third girl... and then the fourth
>It was already past lights out but she didn't care
>I broke out that pink strap-on without a thought, wasn't even the first guy to do it
>Big bitch didn't even notice that she wasn't bouncing on a real dick
>The notches on that strap-on are beyond count now
>Always keep one in my pack now just in case

Worst part about getting deployed with Amazons is that you never get to sleep. Those women are relentless.
I never even saw combat. Pretty sure we weren't sent to fight. We were sent to fuck. Our dicks were payment for the Amazons to fight on behalf of the brass. Always wondered why they didn't send us with more ammo.

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>>33667158
i guess that explains their taste for beast meat

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>>33667369
>join local gendarmerie
Sounds nice, i'll probably do that. qt also said that she'd like to stay in town close to her parents so i guess that's the best option
>Have lotsa pointy eared kids, and live the life.
I've heard stories about elven women from my buddies, i wonder if qt is also a freak, she told me she's a virgin so i wonder if being wild in bed is in their genetics.

GUYS WE NEED TO GET THE FUCK BACK TO EARTH FAST.
>Be exploring canyon.
>Wood Elf guide getting nervous.
>Keeps talking about "Envoy's of the Creators."
>Lt. tells him to stay behind.
>We find these weird statues.
>Com's start acting weird.
>Lt. Tries to contact the FOB.
>The statues MOVE.
>THEY'RE NOT STATUES.
>Rock falls off, their made of some silver metal.
>They have gold glowing eyes, armored bodies and are 8-9ft talk.
>we withdraw, and the metal figures peruse.
>We take our first KIA.
>Cpl Massey gets hit by a gold beam, it cuts through him leaving a fist sized hole.
>We return fire, but these things keep coming.
>We take more casualties.
>We focus fire on them, one at a time.
>We put them down, one by one.
>We do BDA.
>Out of my squad only me and the Lt are alive, we call for evac.
>All of a sudden, the machines VANISH.
Dude we fucked up, we need to leave NOW.

>>33667480
This is why you don't force your high elf to stay behind and clean the fucking toilets. You need to lay down suppressing fire for a moment while he readies a ritual and let him banish it.

>>33667335
Keep on truckin'
>Work for an oil company.
>My boss is a dick
>Assigns me to the northern most region of a Hobbit nation.
>All the locals are passive aggressive, cliquish, clannish, and self-righteous.
>Can't even smoke, in the middle of FUCKING NOWHERE.
>Deal with inane bureaucracy every fucking day.
>None of the locals are fuckable. Their version of the pint is a 300ml.
But in the end, got my revenge.
>OH SHIT, regime change.
>Boss gets thrown to the bears by his superiors.
>I flee by hiding in a suitcase and bribe the airport staff to fly me to a neighboring country.
>Basically storm the company headquarters and hand my resignation.
>MFW "You're the only competent asset we had in the region. We'll raise your pay."
>Get assigned to different continent.
>Bro tier lizardmen
>Good liquor
>Agreeable weather
>End up getting involved in grey market mineral mining. Vice president flies out and tells me that I'm doing a good job and should keep on trucking.

Don't worry anon, it get's better.

>>33667335
Even orcs are better than eternal manlets.

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>>33667480
>machines

You just said the magic word, soldier. Airpower inbound, ETA 10 minutes, hold position and mark targets.

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>>33667005
Natural selection, son!
Amazons usually live in the jungle preying on the jungle tribes whose men rarely push beyond 165cm.
Those amazons who can't make more with less don't reproduce as often as those who do.
Therefore amazons who get their hands on non manlets tend to reach climaxes so violent that you risk leg lock induced spinal injuries and breast smother related asphyxiation if she hugs you too tight.

>>33667536
>>33667464
>>33667158
>>33667132
>>33667005
>>33666776

>tfw turned into walking dildo for an amazon chief
Bitch is crazy, and apparently she wants kids, i hear stories about amazons that got preggo, they're willing to kill their own friends if they'll get close to their man. I have a feeling she'll throw me into some pit so other women in tribe won't be able to get their hands on me untill our kids are born

>>33667335
I will trade places with you any time. FOB Badwater is an armpit. 8 hours a day all I do is sit in an open guard tower watching for sand spiders.

>>33667335
>>33667523
Yeah really, the orcs can make a decent drink. It's still not as good as that brandy I got from the lizardmen but at least I can get it down without throwing up

>>33667409
What's Amazonian puss like? Good thing they seem easier to satisfy than a normal female. But according to a friend, they last damn long, not feeling tired after 20+ orgasms.

Also, is that rumor that most of them sensitive, shallow and tight vaginas true?

>>33661709
"What is the elf opinion on us chem boys running on stims and shit. I mean i pretty sure i can keep my rig up and running on some compounds extracted from plants... "
From
cyberpunk solo

>>33667467
>>33667274
Be careful with how many kids you have or you'll end up with a small batalion of pointy eard kids calling you dad. Elven women are never satisfied with the amount of kids they have, they will constantly nag you about "it's just one more, what difference does it make?", if she's not satisfied she'll poke holes in condoms, forgets protection spells or will balantly leg lock you and and lie about her being on a safe day.

>>33667610
>is that rumor that most of them sensitive, shallow and tight vaginas true?
They're certainly sensitive, why do you think they last through 20+ orgasms? The one I fucked practically came just from insertion

I like this kind of threads, we should have a general for those. /tg/k/.

>>33667643
Don't tell me they pass out after cumming just once like most of us men do.

>>33667649
/wfg/ Kinda does it. Kinda. And usually with less creepy perverted stuff. Actually I take that back.

Now that I think about it, anyone know what the going exchange rate is for the silver shekels so common among the elves? I have a solid bag plus some of these things that I got as tips or whatever from locals and clients, don't know if I can use these very well without getting jewed by another species.

I don't directly buy from the elves often enough to make use of these and having scrip back at some of the FOBs or settlements near the rift might be enough to get me some new cool shit like a new BDU, get a plate carrier, all that stuff.

If I get a qt elf gf then maybe these would be of more use, should I keep them? I don't want to be attracting gold diggers, but I know how to keep money on the down low.

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>get assigned security duty at a mages guild
>nervous going in, don't really have any experience with magic but it turns out to be pretty comfy
>guild head is a darkie, pretty nice as far as darkies though
>All the students are either polite or just ignore you completely
>shelves lined with books and alchemist ingredients
>place always lite by this pale green magic at night instead of fluorescent lights
>honestly considering try to get in after service
>chat it up with the guild head all the time, she's a total bro
>make a joke about her "enchanting my gun" one day
>Instead of laughing or even smiling she suddenly goes really quite while holding her chin, staring off into nothing
>figure it's nothing, she gets like that a lot
>sleeping that night
>did I mention the guild master gave us rooms in the guild? God that woman is a saint
>Start hearing this bizarre noise, really no way to describe it but it's shaking the whole house
>barely half away, scramble for my rifle
>it's not fucking there
>start to panic until I become a bit more conscious, realize that sound is normal magic sound, only really loud
>go back to sleep, don't even think about the rifle
>when I wake up in the morning I'm absolutely freaking out, commands gonna rip my head off
>searching high and low for my rifle
>trying to ask students but not making it sound like I lost it
>just when all hope seems lost I hear the guild master call my name
>turn around and see her holding my fucking rifle
>the barrel and bolt are glowing blue and have a little bit of blue mist coming off them
>she hands it to me and says "now, I'm honestly not quite sure what this will do, I've never worked with guns before. Be a dear and tell me about all your findings when you get around to shooting it!"
>Stand there without saying a word as she heads off
>too scared to fire the rifle, too scared to give it to the armourer
Fuckin' magic man, still though, I should ask the guild head if she's dating anyone

>>33667467
Even if she's not a freak, you'll have to expect 3-4 kids minimum. Apparently they don't have a concept of kids costing a lot, so go for it. However, if you join their gendarmerie be prepared to learn a lot of their (foul) language

>>33667610

Small vaginas? I mean yeah, proportionally. Big woman, maybe 9 feet tall sometimes taller. Puss was perhaps just a scoche tighter than a human girl and maybe a tad more shallow.

And I think the orgasm thing is a little off. I mean we are talking about a different species here, just one that is really similar to humans. (and don't give me that subspecies crap. I've seen the DNA differences, not to mention the fact that no matter what race they breed with they will only ever produce another full blooded Amazon.) They cum a lot and I mean a lot. I'm talking an orgasm every two minutes when things get going. But their orgasms son't seem to be as... drawn out I guess? as a human's. Like little, intense bursts. Real sensitive, lots of tiny but explosive orgasms. Real fun... for the first hour or so. Then you just want things to end but you get the feeling that the giant woman riding you could literally snap your spine with her thighs so you just grin and bear it.

>>33667523
>>33667587
Don't get me wrong, Dwarves are top-tier bro's when there's just one of them, fought with one in Arendel Swamp.
But I swear they have some kind of reverse hivemind, the more you get together in a single place the shittier they get, a whole city is basically a complete fucking disaster

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>>33667565
if you think thats bad, get with a drider. they hate kids and act aloof until you knock 'em up. then enjoy being bound in silk and hearing what the spiderlings names are going to be till the pregancy happens. made me miss a deployment once, it did

>>33667716
Got me into thinking, should I go full Goldsteinberg and set up a bank? They deposit their currency of gold and silver, in my heavily guarded cave of a vault, in exchange for bank notes. The paper currency will be stable and inflation-proof, as it is gold and silver-backed, and they can redeem their bank notes if they wanted their gold back.

And their day-to-day transactions will be easier due to them no longer needing to lug heavy bags of easily stolen coins around, relying instead on paper money bank notes. I can give out loans at reasonable interest rates. Plus it's going to improve their local economy significantly due to the decreased hassle.

Good idea or no?

>>33667789
You mean they are like russians. One russian can build you a tank out of spair sheet metal and a lawn mower engine.. 10 slavs can build you a jet that does mach 2 out of steel and dreams.

1000 slavs and you have a broken down town.

>>33667845
>Elves
>Paper money
So long as you can keep them from finding out what paper is made out of, sure. Remember these fuckers started a god damn war because we threw a few coke cans into some bushes.

You fucks have it easy
>Oh no I have to wear magic earpro because the dwarf guns are loud
>How do I get a cute elf gf?

Fuck you guys, I got the real shit end of the stick
>Get deployed in a village
>It seems kind of normal at first, a little rainy but not that bad
>Only time I have to shoot something is when a local werejackal pack gets a little greedy but those things would die to my grandpa's .22
>Start to notice something with the people here
>A lot of them are missing an ear
>Ask about it, they just say it's their god's demand
>Can't shake the feeling that something is watching me this entire time
>One day some kids just disappear
>Get sent out to go looking for them because nothing else is happening
>Enter a swamp, the feeling gets even more intense, animals and bugs get louder and louder as we walk through
>Weird bloated humanoids emerge from the swamp and attack us, but they die to 5.56 like anyone else
>Eventually stumble across a group of 3 buildings, and the swamp suddenly goes completely silent
>There's the kids here, and an old woman watching them
>She says they can't leave, we decide fuck that and try to drag them out because kids can't live in a swamp infested with monsters
>As Cpl Pierre picks up a kid, his rifle - which was slung over his back - fires into his fucking legs and now he can't walk
>He drops the kid
>Swamp gets louder than it ever has and at least 30 of those bloated humanoids start shambling into view
>We all turn to kill them, turn back and the kids and lady are gone
>Lt says we're getting out, to pick up Pierre and get ready to leave
>More of the things appear, and we fucking run
>As we leave the swamp all we see in the mist is this weird 10+ foot tall "human" staring at us
>It's wasn't human though
>it had no face, it's entire body looked like a small tree, it had a deer skull on top of it's head and it almost looked like it was commanding wildlife

Now the people in the town won't even talk to us, saying we got "him" mad

>>33667878
What is the elf opinion on MOAB and FOAB our unit has some thermobarics we are going to use in their territory at 0500 to clear out some fucking goblins once and fucking for all.. God damn fucks keep hiding in the tunnels lets see what happens when we suck the air out.

>>33667763
I've been fantasizing of restraining an Amazonian, and slowly teasing her pussy for a couple of hours, making her beg me to let her cum. That should give her a rare explosive mind-breaking orgasm.

>>33667868
Kinda, only there's millions all crammed into a glorified cave so poorly ventilated that you can smell the odor of when Borin Ginbeards great great grandfather drank forty shots of whiskey out of his girlfriends hairy bellybutton and threw up three times.

>>33667845
>>33667878
Modern-day bank notes are made out of cloth, paper and are woven with fancy fibers and complex ink and shit.

I guess it will be a good idea, as long as the printing press is kept secure. And I can make money from loaning out money.

Who wants to be my security guards once your contracts are over?

>>33667901
Tunnels? That's easy just make sure your gas masks are working properly

Take some of that three-leaved ivy (make sure you have no exposed skin) and fill some large bags with it, throw them into the tunnel and be ready to block them off. Goblins usually set up two exits, make sure you find them both. After throwing the bags, toss a flare on the bag and seal it all up again, the smoke is extremely poisonous and within an hour the entire tunnel system will be full of dead or dying goblins. Sure command may not like it but it's not like they need to know, and I'm sure the elves prefer it to bombing runs

>>33667900
That swamp needs a dose of fire, and lots of it.

>>33667900
That's why you go independent bro. Not be a shitty scrip wagecuck and get sent to do legit dangerous shit. It's like before the rift when black water used to operate in that one desert, they only had to occasionally do dangerous shit, otherwise they did pretty well.
It's not insane pay like some of the white collars back on the other side of the rift but it sure as hell is more fun and rewarding in other ways.
>>33667845
>>33667952
I'll start a security company and we can get this shit rolling. Take some loans, get some enlisted kiddies to be guards, we all make money. I'm McLovin it.

>>33667878
>money
>made of paper

stop being American

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>>33667900
Did you just get us into a war with a fucking demon god?

>>33667959
Nah last time we just used hydrogen cyanide. One of the benefits of being with the metal heads and borgs is we got a metric fuck ton of chems laying around... Elves really don't seem too happy even when we don't do shit.. They seem to not like the mechanical implants..
Is there any way i can convince the elves our Robotic pack mule isnt bad i mean the damn thing runs on a hydrogen fuel cell and we use a fission reactor on base... what did we do wrong.

>>33667727
Just clamp it down onto table, tie a long string to the trigger, set up video cameras, and hide behind something.

Report results back to us once you're done. Also, is her ass thick?

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>tfw no elf eared GF to drink tea with

>>33667969
>>33667979
Do you think we can make deals with the all the local political leaders so we can make full use of the currency? I wonder how would they receive this, since we found a way to make worthless paper worth as much as gold.

Also, where are we going to get a bank note printing press to make counterfeit-proof bank notes?

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>>33668057
Can you help me with elves, I tried chating one up while i was leading patrol. I mean she was pretty cute, and all but you know hearts and minds.. Issue was she seemed really scared of us..
We were wearing image attached. Do elves dislike exosuits?

>>33668001
>Darkie being thicc

The entirety of the race is hella thin as a defining trait, brohiem, I'm pretty sure she'd be thin as a rail.

>>33668095
A slim girl can have a round butt too Anon.

>>33667900
Just call a witcher, those freaks love doing jobs like these, pitch in with the guys for a decent pay and one should come.

>>33668093
She was just afraid you'll rape her. Be friendly >>33665706

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>>33667983
Hell if I know, I'm not great with a pencil but this is close to it. Only it had claws longer than an M60 barrel

I haven't gone near the swamp ever since, I occasionally hear the stomping of something massive off in the distance but I didn't see anything while I was there. I've got a friend back in an Elven town pulling some strings to get me over here

>>33668121
>A witcher
Oh yeah I'll be sure to keep a look out for them, I'm sure I'll find one considering there's like 4 of them left on the planet. Besides even if there was one here, do you think we could afford to pay him? The townspeople certainly didn't like us getting him mad and I doubt the scrap of money they could put together would meet their pay.

>>33668135
Okay i didn't know they had it so bad we were sent here to protect their village from intrusion by any corporate entites as well as general peace keeping. We want to help them with regards to infrastructure but they seem resistant I told command to put a hold on building anything more then a VTOL pad for us.

How do i win over teh elfs were a bit tech heavy is that a no no.

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>>33668001
Just got back from the range, holy fuck guys, I don't know what the fuck she did but its some terrifying shit
>Get to the range we set up a bit outside of the town
>Nothing fancy, just a few steel targets in front of a hill
>Aim down sights
>A little hard to see target past the bluish mist but I'm only a hundred yards away
>Hesitating hard
>Eventually man up and pull the trigger
>Shit seem super anti-climatic, a kind of clone of blue smoke rushes forward about ten meters
>Doesn't even seem like a bullet was fired
>At least, for the first few seconds
>Suddenly the gun kicks like a fucking .50 as something erupts from the smoke and rushes towards the target
>it looks like fucking reforming and unforming body parts
>A mass of arms into a massive lower jaw into feet and etc., just a fucking tidal wave of half melted parts, inhuman screaming coming from the mass
>Splashes against targets, collapses into itself and disappears
>There's a 40 foot crater where the targets once were, not an explosion crater either, it just looks like the land disappeared
>Take rifle back to guild head and tell her what happened
>She mumbles something about reading the wrong book and tells me I should probably leave the rifle with her for the night
>Next morning she brings me a back of sand, says it's the rifle and she needed to make sure it could be used again
Fuck man, the armoured is gonna kick my ass so hard it's gonna end up in whatever eldritch dimension that fucking thing came from.

[spoiler]Can't tell honestly, her robe basically hide any curves she may have. When the wind makes it cling to her though I don't see much,
she is a dark elf after all.[/spoiler]

>>33668086
Hell if I know how you would get that kind of printing press. Why not just use the blockchain :^)
Might take some time to convince the leaders, but it's probably do-able. Just try to avoid being really Jew-y and they shouldn't mind. As for the average elf, it might be an interesting experiment, but chances are they will adapt to it eventually.
>>33668093
I've never seen those.
Keep your mask off and chat, be friendly. Low-key stuff, like >>33665706 was saying. It takes time for them to warm up, especially considering the circumstances our species' were embroiled in a short time ago.

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You fucks thought you had it hard during the Counterattack in 53'? You southerners don't know shit about what happened to us Leafs in the Aggression.
You said you drew the short end of the stick? We drew the short end of the fucking tree!
>Be me
>1st Horse Cav. 8th Reg.
You like to talk about how the 16a7's kicked ass during the count? Try fighting through fucking Derbien Range with Revolvers and Sabres!
>Stationed at Poutine CFB (Separtine'ai) for you keebler shits in this thread
>Trudeau III cuts all support to us during the fall
>cuts all radio transmissions in December
>Barely any usable land
>Tons of MRE's but no damn fresh food
>3,000 rounds for
125 Horsemen
25 North Nova Marksmen
10 Highlanders
1 Humvee with a broken engine
>No M2's or 14mm Auto's
>No air support
>No arty or fire support
>WW2 era fortifications displaced in "The Upheaval" (Fucking shitty name, "Cape Breton getting literally removed from the earth by Dorfs" is a bit too long)
>I'm on "Small unit recon" with my fireteam.
>Command's got their head up their ass
>Accidentally bump into an entire army of Knifears in the forest
>Radio in that there's 2,000 Elves in the forest waiting to kill us
>Command tells us to circle around to the back of the pack near the Psychic Lancers
>Watch as the army slowly descends over Mount Angel
>Radio in and tell command there's an entire army closing in on the Barrachois Corridor
>Command does not respond
>Watch as the army breaches the first wire
>Realization creeps in on me
>The entire base got evacuated in those hours
>Command forgot about us
>The North Nova's got left behind too
>They're being overwhelmed
>I decide I can't watch them get fucked by knifears
>Tell L.C Stellarton to fire the fucking Carl Gustav into the back of the army while we make as much noise as possible and try and make them think there's an army behind them
Continued. Fucking word cap.

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>>33668205
>Riding around on fucking Lusitano's shooting and whooping as three men make a fucking calvary charge into the back of a 2,000 some strong army of fuckys
>Plan works out pretty damn good until lancers take out the other two men
>I'm trampling over dead bodies and shooting like i'm in an old spaghetti western
Then there's that one fucking photograph that old irish bastard took of Welton's horse stopping right before that elf lancer stabs it. That is my fireteam, That is Private Andy Welton from Canso riding on that horse.
>Run out of cartridges and take out my sabre, Suddenly i'm stabbed in the ribs by a Takoe blade.
>I'm only half conscious as my horse get's shot as the Highlanders come around on the one humvee and they slaughter the entire left rank
>Get picked up and drive off with the bastards
>The army occupies Poutine
>It promptly get's firebombed
And the fucking Kebblers have the fucking guts to call that a war crime?
They lost 2,000 elves to 15 damn men on horses with cap and ball revolvers
Canada, Fuck yeah.

>>33668190
What race do you think will be best to run the branches and work as bank tellers?

>>33668093
Lose the mask and keep on being nice, ask questions about her, they like to talk about themselves. If she starts asking you questions then that's usually a green light to ask them out

>>33666657
>"Dark" Elves. (Drow.)
This racial subgroup of elves are both hated and feared in equal measure. Mostly dwelling underground, almost all of our information comes from "The Exiled" a group of Drow who have fled mainstream Drow society. Their accounts, if proven TRUE paint a grim picture of Drow culture. The Drow apparently have a Matriarchial culture, with female Drow controlling most aspects of society. Male Drow are seen as expendable, being used in dangerous labor, sacrifices, and making the bulk of the combat soldiers. The one area where male Drow can exceed Drowess in is magical use. As Lolth (The main goddess of Drow worship.) views female Drow who use magic as competition, so most magic use is done by makes. Drow are constantly raising the surface for slave labor, and are at war with the Dwarves over resources. Meaning Drow are probably the most martial of the elves.

>>33668293
Yeah the whole rig was part of some one at darpas dream armor . Was a derivative of the warrior web program along with TALOS. Damn thing is great as long as you have fuel cells then again the things last for a whole week and we can charge em on site.. That cringy mother fucker with the call of duty style mask is our point man Austin ... I ll take that into account and remove the face mask they probably thought we were some sort of strange golems .

>>33668285
I'd say employ the native species so there's that trust going on, but maybe employ dark elves (especially good looking ones) for loan applications so that applicants will be susceptible to higher interest rates due to increased attraction

>>33668093
Elves don't have the same love of "cool shit" we humans do, they like leaves and nature and shit.

Try wearing a flower pot on your head

>>33668360
>try wearing a flower pot on your head.
Apparently some one at another unit got issued a summons for doing that for inciting inter species hatred. Command is really strict about that type of shit now. We are professionals first, although possibly growing a garden around the barracks might help... Many the specialist are going to want to crucify me for this.

>>33668353
It's always a dude named Austin that fucks about innit? But yeah, keep on it, elves like consistency

>>33665767
>>33665778
samefag

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>>33668429
Yeah Austins right... Anyways we have also taken to covering our fire support bot with a ghillie suit to make him less threatening to the locals.. We also bagged out first kill was a huge Wyvren thing was 40 feet long, had to hit it with 30 of our 40mm Pike missiles .. They couldn't pen the skin but when that fucker opened its mouth it got deep throat ed. You should be pretty familiar with our bot he is a boston dynamics model thats been militarized..

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>>33661672
The fuck is this nonsense?

>>33668057
get an orc gf, much btter

>>33668529
Has anyone tried putting an elf inside an exosuit just for shits and giggles? If so what was his opinion on it?

>>33668172
Sooo, how's your visit to the armourer? I hope he he believed your story and was understanding.

Also how's your progress on the qt Drowess?

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>>33661672
>>33665417
>>33665457

>mfw all you want to mix along these evil and vile magic-users

You all clearly need a better leader

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>>33661672
Well since I've seen some stories relating to OP's topic being posted in here, I might aswell post some too.

>>33662277
>>33662297

Pic/story related.

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>>33661672
so guys i have a problem
i was sent to the border to repel an ork advance and we were lodged in an elf village because of the temporary alliance
now all the soldiers from the other kingdoms are getting cute wives but the emperor said the inquisition should behead every cross breeder
I'm getting really close to this maiden at the local tavern and i don'T know what to do
on one hand i love the god-emperor and don't want to be a heretic but on the other she's perfect
please help

Lmao you guys are great.
Keep us posted with info from the other side

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>>33670756

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>>33670767

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>>33670783

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>>33670798

>>33670725
Just "disappear" during a panicked moment and wait it out

>>33662925
>the dark elves
My friend, the dark elves are, depending on the clan, some of our best friends.
the only people I've known to hate elves more than us are the dark elves.
And you know what?
I'll take a few in my squad over some of those stupid fucking college grads they seem to be dumping on me now.
>>33662963
Yup.
Gotta love dwarves.
They have some batshit insane tactics and weaponry, and I love the motherfuckers for it.

I once saw them strap four M2HBs and an RPG 7 to the wings of an old crop duster in response I people giving them shit for not having an air force.
After the elves started lighting fires to suck the oxygen out of their mines because they deemed them a threat to the environment they really never stopped executing the fuckers.

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>>33670725
Tell the emperor to fuck off
The land in the rift is not for him and his buttbuddies
I keep telling enlisted blokes to go independent, then they can avoid shit like this. But no-one listens...

Either dip on your job and you get to stick with your gf or don't smash and keep your head. No other option pal.

>tfw all these enlisted plebs are finding elf gfs left and right and I'm sitting here doing contract work trying to find one

>>33671249
>>33671287
But how do i keep the witch hunters off my track? these guys are savage

>>33661753
I'd like to know if your matron up to making human farmboyXDark Elven Matron shotacon maledom/bukkake/gaping/cervix punching/MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMF porn?

just asking.....for a friend...

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>maybe if i RP enough on an anonymous anime image board my elf waifu will become real and cure my depression

>>33671360
When I say dip, I mean you fucking DIP
Now, then again, I don't know if you come from earth, and by the sounds of it you don't. I've never experienced a pursuit by witch hunters, so I couldn't tell you what to expect.

Find a human squad or corporation in need of connections in the area and make yourself useful, and you might be able to get under the wings of some decent guys who won't sell you out immediately.

>>33664900
>good friends with elves
The ONLY elves that had EVER done right by us in ANY way have been some northern drow tribes.
They have not shied away from firearms or technology.
They have not bombed us, executed civilians, or in general done their absolute best to wreck our lives.
They have gone out of their way to help us.

But you say that the forest elves, the suicide bombing, rape bringing, politician assassinating, firearm hating logic disregarding chocolate disliking motherfuckers are our friends?
Wrong.
The northern drow and our squat bearded comrades will always be our friends.
You have your peace treaty and small coalition to fend off the black hearts for now. But just watch as "friendly fire" decimates our troops.
And always remember; just because we're on a Foreign planet does NOT mean we're not still an American protectorate.
Ulgaria is just a fucking word for a small piece of land in the middle of butt fuck nowhere near the polar ice cap far from home for anyone over he age of twenty nine.

>>33671455
>he doesn't know of Karl Franz's witch hunters
i'm not of but senpai
I wouldn't want to fuck with them

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average elf girl in heat

>>33664874
>>orc males got 12" dongs and think your average human male looks feminine, morale among marines improves 1200% when deployed with orcs
WOT

TH

ZOG

>>33665555
>marrying an orc.
Soooo...what're the kids gonna look like?
Will they be tan and green camo?
Lighter green?
Imagine the possibilities.
Operator as FUCK.

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>>33664874
BURN XENO LOVING SCUM

>>33671518
Never met the dude. Never heard of them, chances are I operate far from where they do. Then again, most of my time on this side of the rift has been interacting with elves and dwarves, still have yet to meet an ork or a lot of the human empires in fact. I'm surprised too, I expected the rift to be more of a trade hub than it is.

>>33665555
NIGGA LIVING MY DREAM

>>33670640
"Oh can you fuck off already! I did a lot of magical hijinks just to use a spell to travel dimensions and settle here in Earth. I don't need you to hop into this world just to have my eyes poked out just because some magical Gopnista killed your daddy.

Also I came to settle in this world called Earth so that I don't have to deal with them Nilfgaardians. Besides, no Nilfgaard or similar empire here in Earth."

>-Mage who now decided to move into earth

>>33671454
pretty much yeah

>>33665064
I assume that pic is supposed to be captain Maria Fontaine and her new elf hubby eh?

Heard she's now permanenetly living in Sarenbel to live with her elf husbando and has three cutie half elf kiddies.

Anyone know what shipping times through the rift typically run at?
I'm considering ordering a new AR-15 from either Daniel Defense or Noveske and I want to see if they'll have it before the busy season kicks up again. Anything is better than these shitty surplus M4s sold around the settlements.

By the sounds of it the local wildlife is getting uppity, so there may be hunting contracts available, or at least more caravans to protect.

What are you oper(9-1)rs using as your main armament?

>>33672084
Fucking.
Shit.
The internet is hard enough and they have a permanent line through for that.
Actual shipping that isn't specifically 5.56 NATO ammunition, fuel, or actual crates of ARs have a hell of a time getting through.

I once had a package from my family back home take a year and a half to arrive.
A YEAR AND A HALF.
Fuck that shit man. And guns are even harder to get through because any delivery agencies that are .gov approved or, heaven forbid, approved by the conglomerates that sent us even with their BS about having a ludicrous monopoly on things here has literal fuckloads of paperwork to sign when it DOES get here.

You would probably do better with tracking down one of the local blacksmith-machinists that have started popping up and asking them to replicate some of the high speed low drag shit you want to put on an old surplus M16A4.

As for what I have, I originally came here as a security officer for the convoys running between settlements (hundocorp for those who give a shit) and decided to join up after the war of eleven aggression really got heated.

No family, no relationships.
Just me and my old service rifle (I payed for the fucking thing anyways; it was BYOG)
I managed to snag one of the early shipments of FALs that got dragged out of South Africa to send through the rift. Those arms dealers made an absolute killing off of us, BUT, considering I've only ever had to fire three shots into a target to kill shit dead, I think I lucked out.
I will say I'm in the market for a pistol though. I never had one when I was working the convoys (never made enough money) and my M4A1 was all I got to fuck about with from my military days. Never made it past "here is a gun, here are knife ears; shoot knife ears, don't shoot humans" in terms of rank so I never got issued one.

Recommendations? I haven't been to a shop in a while so I've got no idea what's common nowadays.

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it seems nobody likes guns and elf
is it because it's not FAL?

>>33672292
Where the hell did you find an elf that likes guns?

All the ones I've encountered scoff at them even after I SHOW them how I can hit things way out of their bow's ranges with my rifle

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>>33671765
>Decide to live on Earth because no Nilfgaard Empire
>Our Earth
>No Nilfgaard Empire

You thought wrong mage. Pic related, for that is OUR version of a Nilfgaard Empire, but not potentially led by a white-hair waifu.

>>33672313

Elves are fucking autistic and don't give a shit about guns until you start shooting up their precious trees. Well joke's on them, that's what the napalm is for.

>>33672246
Damn. Maybe it is going to be better if I get an elf wife instead of going through all the shit to go back with my stuff.
I've never had to actually go anywhere close to the rift or get anything through it in a long, long time, so this is all news to me. Absolutely insane. Why can't they just let this side of the rift be the closest to a free market that we can get? Governments get out reeeeeeeeeee

Might get a pistol and get one of the machinist you mentioned to amp up an old gun at the same time. I wonder if he can just use my M4 but replace most of the moving parts and forge some cool shit too.
Come to think of it, a sig p320 might be a nice choice. I dunno if they get that shit through though.

You know what? I think it'll be better on this side of the rift.
>tfw still no qt elf gf

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>>33670699
Here are some more from me too.

The following are more of worldbuilding related.

>First: >https://1d4chan.org/images/4/4e/Lessons.png
>Pic related is continuation

>>33672405
At this rate we have some nice 21st century tech.

It's been a bit, and though it's the 2100's, everybody's chucking their old service weaponry through the rift for shits and giggles (it's not like they don't have railguns and shit on their side in case we get antsy)

As for a P320, you could probably get Ann old army contract M17.
I hear they're quite nice but the triggers are shit from the heavy use.
Heaven knows the mags are almost cheaper than food these days.

The beauty of it is the plastic frame means custom 3D printed anything you wants can be made quite cheaply for it.

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>>33661672
Got nothing to really contribute, but have this cutesy pic of a cadet/recruit boy befriending/fraternizing with a human-elf couple's half-elf child.

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Writefag here, let's say I were to do a story in this general idea. What would you want it to be about ?

>>33672614
The 7.62 RFN belt pile on legs.
(>>33662862)

>>33672614
Personally I think it's more fun role playing the many faces of fantasy /k/ but I guess it would be whatever you want it to be otherwise.

Hell, I've been waiting for some writefag inspiration and I might do some fan fictions based on this concept alone. Never done it before but this has given me ideas.

>>33672630
Oh, and please, start just belting out shit that sound like the old history channel documentaries on the conflicts in the rift/new planet.

I'd love some of that shit.

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>>33672614
Something that's basically like OP's schtick:

>>33661672
>>33664900

>humanity and elves team against a common enemy
>human and elf alliance beat their common enemy but they decide to make their allaince a long term thing
>humans are the industrious and military part of the allaince and the elves; mostly high elves and wood elves, are the powerfully magical parts of the alliance
>mention how half elves can now have a sense of united belonging and national pride

ONE OF THESE NIGGERS STOLE MY SVD WHERE THE FUCK IS IT!?

>>33672768
You just misplaced it you fucking retard. Elves don't like big guns.

>>33672958
I DON'T KNOW
I LEFT IT ON MY BAG WHICH I WAS USING AS A PILLOW AND WHEN I WOKE UP IT WAS GONE
SOMEBODY STOLE IT BUT I DON'T KNOW WHO

>>33673002
Probably a dwarf squaddie or one of your buds are fucking with you.

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>>33662120
Why is that hitting on and flirting with cute peasant girls/bar maids/milk maids one of the few legit joys to do as a soldier/foregin soldier in medeival times?

Seriously? Be a some soldier or knight, hit on some bar maid/milk maid/pretty peasant girl, bed with 'em and may or may not cum in them.

Why is it such a feel good feel for a guy?

>>33673027
MAYBE
wait dwarfs can snipe?

>>33673051
It's one of the small things in life to enjoy Anon. Finding someone to smile with, enjoying each other's company, and briefly forget about the harsh cruel world.

Fuck, I miss this feel, it's been a year.

>>33673064
As long as the rifle is a full-sized or anti-materiel caliber, yeah, they'd enjoy sniping.

>>33673064
Shitty eyesight means they need to "snipe" with LMGs or they need damn good optics to compensate (all kinds of special shit for brightness and shortsightedness 'n stuff)
That said, they tend to love "marksmanship competitions"

So they fucking love birdshot.
Have we officially established dwarves love shotguns?
Belt fed shotguns semi auto shotguns full auto shotguns tube fed shotguns mag fed shotguns toggle locked roller delayed FUCK IT, you name them they love them.

Has anyone here ever shot one of those dwarven belt fed shotguns? are they any good?

I was considering getting one solely because having a full auto 12 gauge sounds incredibly fun but that's a fair amount of money that could go towards finally replacing my shitty ass surplus m16a4

>>33673120
They had several prototypes in 12 gauge but settled on 20 for the production model, because even dwarves experience recoil problems with 12 gauge being fired at 2500 RPM, not to mention simply the space to carry the belts became hard to find when you're only 4'6" at best and usually shorter.

I've shot one.
They're fun as hell. A pain in the ass to actually aim though.

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Don't trust nigger elves.
>Be me
>Me driver for Humvee patrolling in a village in Sarenbel with a humvee convoy.
>Humvee that was leading suddenly stop, they report a female elf is in front.
>She suddenly screams " WUK WAK WUK WAKAKA " and suddenly blows up the leading humvee and herself in a suicide bombing
>WTF! Suddenly dark elves pop out behind the houses with Ak-47s and M4A1s. My passenger 's head splatters inside the Humvee as he's shot.
>WTF I back out so fucking fast while underfire and spin it, getting the fuck out of there with one dead passenger.
Can anyone explain to me HTF they got ak47s and M4A1s?

>>33672533
Hold on a minute, ain't that a warhammer pic? Specifically love can bloom? I know that's supposed to be the half breed daughter who's name I forgot.

>>33672703
Translation please?

>seeing some of this anti elf rhetoric

Guys, look I get it. The wood elves/forest elves can be stuck up and uppity about nature and look down on us on how our mechanized and industrial lifestyle is problematic to nature.

But don't forget that we are primarily allied with the high elves, who are masters of magic and arcane arts. We have the wood/forest elves tag with us since the wood-forest elves and the high elves have always been partners. So we partner with them along with he high elves.

But not all wood or forest elves are stuck up haught jerks who're uppity about nature and can tolerate our modern industrial way of life, so long we respect nature too in return.

Plus the wood/forest elves have also helped us in terms of environmental and natural preservations.

>>33673339
>uppity
So far their kill count IS.
>four hundred and fifty tanks
>seventy five armored vehicles including trucks, construction vehicles, and general military Related transports
>thirty thousand men, active service personnel only
>one hundred and thirteen thousand men women and children of you count the soldiers and civilians together
>59% of these were in attacks on infrastructure and towns/cities, not just regular battles
>seven assassination attempts, three of which succeeded
>ransacking of factories, bridges, railroads, regular roads, airports, and much more
>burning of farms and murder of farmers on a massive scale

We now have a famine, electrical problems, infrastructure problems, AND I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO GET RUNNING FUCKING WATER FOR THE PAST THREE WEEKS.

No. The elves are NOT. YOUR FUCKING. FRIENDS.
The local dwarves have let me stay with some human refugees in their village.
The dwarves are our friends.
The northern drows have been taking in refugees.
The orcs have been happy to assist.
The high elves?
The forest elves?
They're our enemy.

Now go munch on some damn cauliflower you Keebler sympathizing dick eating assface.

>>33673364
The high elves are like militant luddites crossed with those fuckers from the Middle East all those years ago.