>I'm coming over to your house in a zombie apocalypse XD

>>33608168
I welcome any person that does so. Free gear and food when I kill them and cut them up.

>>33608175
I remember being an angsty teenager.

>>33608181
>being a cannibal makes you a teenager
Wow what an adolescent thing to say.

>>33608189
Being a cannibal doesn't make you a teenager.

Being an unnecessary tripfag though, that does.

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>>33608175

>>33608168
I always say
>You can come to my house but you're not coming in my house

Or

>Better bring food, booze, bullets or boobs otherwise don't bother

>>33608175
That is edgy.

>>33608168
Forming a group is advisable as long as you don't have anyone in it prone to not follow instructions.

>>33608168
If anyone says this to you, then you have already failed, KYS

>>33608794
Forming a good group of trusted individuals who you believe have their own inherit value is a good thing, having a bunch of dependent faggots immediately come running to you to save them is just gonna cuck you out of your own food.

>>33608175
what if I brink pork

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>>33608168
you should be focused on offensive actions against a tyrannical invading force, goy

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>>33608168
good, I need raider bait

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>>33608168
>you have an ak47? I thought automatic guns were illegal.

>>33608168
Fuck off Yankee Marshall, it's past your bedtime

>>33608175
>>33608189

Look guys, a literal subhuman that fucks children and goats.

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>>33608175

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>>33608175
>>33608189
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNve4kuaGqI
>0:30

>>33613810
He fucks kids.

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>>33608175
How's my least favorite tripfag doing today?

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>>33608168
>yfw zombies move to areas based on living time habits
>yfw they come over after they've turned

>>33608168
That's cool? I'll probably have already left with all my shit. Make yourself at home.

>>33608168
Bacteria and insects will render zombie bodies incapable of movement inside of a month.

>using guns on zombies only to attract hordes within a 2 mile radius
>not using spears, bats, clubs, axes, and maces in zombies while conserving ammunition for hostile humans

>>33615275
exactly what i say, when told this

>>33615830
That and even though to a degree they're alive aren't they still somewhat decomposing technically? So basically just hide out innawoods or some shit don't be autistic and you could possibly survive the ZA.

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>>33608175
No, you dirty cuck.

>>33616152
>getting within spitting distance of a walking biohazard
>exhausting yourself against an inexhaustible foe

What you need to be doing is shooting .22 through a can and putting neat little holes in the skull of every walker in your way.

>>33608881
You are the pork...long pork.

>>33608168
>zombie apocalypse
Is this a codeword for race war?

>not wanting your friends with you when shtf
That sucks but it's understandable. Just tell them you don't think they have what it takes to kill a man. Make sure you look them directly in the eye with a deadpan look on your face even if they smile. Then when they stop smiling laugh and give them a friendly dick punch.

>>33616274
That still doesn't solve the ammunition problem though and spears are not very difficult to use. Even with minimal effort, a spear could theoretically easily penetrate a zombie skull and hit the brain while keeping yourself at a safe-ish distance in close quarters.

>>33616305
Blades get stuck in bone. This isn't that TV show where everyone turns to Jello.

>>33616305
Well, 22 isn't heavy.

This being said, the idea of zombies is that there's enough of them that they will simply exhaust a human adversary. Guns will run out of ammunition, spearmen will be too exhausted to continue to fight, and fortresses will eventually starve out.

This raises the obvious question of how zombies became widespread if it takes dozens of hundreds of them to defeat a single well prepared human.

"Because fuck you" - Max Brooks

I was also thinking you could destroy a substantial number of them by camping on a roof and pegging them in the head with a rock with a rope tied around it. You use the rope to pull the rock back up, and repeat indefinitely until you starve to death or there's none left.

>>33616305
a spear seems much less practical than even a woefully underpowered gun

>>33608175
>>33608189

filtered

>>33616304
>Is this a codeword for race war?
I fucking wish.

>>33616361

Tired of this zombie bullshit.

>90% of humans die and turn to Zombies.

>If every remaining human just killed ten Zombies the problem would be solved.

In the unlikely event of a zombie Apocalypse it's the prerogative of every man woman and child to kill every Zed they safely can. There isn't an infinite amount of them and it's a solveable problem.

Ammo should be conserved for life and death situations. Otherwise a simple long stick with a 4-6" sharpened nail in the bottom will suffice for removing Zombie in safe, controllable circumstances. Especially when there's a chain link fence between you and them.

>>33616561
George A Romero did this shit right.

In Night of the Living Dead, everyone who dies under any circumstances reanimates as zeds, and the government still manages to win the war literally overnight.

In Dawn of the Dead, it was airborne or something and basically everyone without a genetic immunity and the luck to not get eaten by people without genetic immunity got killed almost immediately.

The Zombie Survival Guide also had a smart take, in that Zombie infestation was a fairly rare, obscure disease, it was always eventually put down, and the idea of a zombie apocalypse was just a theoretical future outcome.

And then a bunch of worthless hipsters hopped on the bandwagon and sucked all the fun out of the concept.

>>33616152
>Not just finding an extra large meat grinder and playing Careless Whisper on full blast to attract every zombie in the city to it
>Not just hooking up several hundred zombies to fitness machines to power your house indefinetely
>Not getting a bunch of qt zombie girls, placing them in formaldehyde, and using them as your new undead harem
You people have no imagination.

>>33616653
It just occurred to me that you could use zombies to rape conservation of energy.

>in the Brooksverse, zombies in preservatives don't decay
>in the Brooksverse, zombies don't require food or other external sources of energy

You just need to dunk them in a tank of formaldehyde, put them in front of a picture of a human, and then connect the legs to a generator.

I mean, procuring zombies for this purpose would be a political nightmare, but there'd probably be a lot left over from the initial outbreak, and third world countries wouldn't give a shit about zombifying people to keep the lights on.,

>>33616304
I thought this was a codeword for leftist hostile takeover
>Unintelligent mob that moves only by instinct
>Constantly trying to convert you into one of them despite your protests
>Filthy and haven't washed in months
>All black actors in a zombie movie inevitably end up becoming zombies in the end, just as black people in the real world become leftists in the end.

>>33616742
Apparently left wing individuals are more afraid of zombies and right wing individuals are more afraid of vampires.

>left wing individuals tend to see their political opponents as mindless in comparison to themselves
>lefties know that if they can't use their words to get their way, they're pretty much fucked
>lefties tend to fear trends and forces type shit that the government doesn't react to quickly enough

>right wing individuals are all about that degeneracy
>right wing individuals don't trust elites or European style aristocracy

>>33616305
>safe-ish

Here's your problem

>>33616778
What fictional-fantasy monster would Centrists/Libertarians see their political opponents as, anon?

>>33614125
zozzle

>>33608881
>brink pork
You've taken pork right to the limit.

Madman.

>>33616811
>a ghost
>it will never leave you alone
>no one will believe you when you try to talk to them about it

>>33615090
>everyone's
ftfy

>>33616905
FUCKING SPOOKS

>>33608168

>tfw I live in the hood and you'd get robbed+carjacked before reaching my house
>even without the apocalypse happening

>>33608168
Excellent! Bring food, tools, and 3 sets of work clothes! I got more shit that needs doing than I got time to do it.

You can sleep on the mattress in the basement. Got any pics of your wife/gf in a miniskirt and heels? If she's halfway decent, she doesn't have to stay in the basement with you.

Anyhow, it's great that you're taking a proactive approach to your continued survival. Meet me at the range at 6 Saturday morning. We'll start your training then. When's the next time you're out of town? That's when I'll start training your wife.

Wait, you think I'm joking?

>>33617325

You're like a nightmare that turned 21 in 1988, and then just moved home and never left.

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>>33608168
>>began to talk openly about my prepping with gf's friend and her bf over drinks
>>they like to chat about it, imagine what they'd do
>>they start to prep in adorable ways. buying food and water but wont make a plan, get a gun or learn to shoot it. to afraid of guns and to wild to plan.
>>prepping becomes a fun topic that occasionally pops up with drinks.
years go by
>>at their house having a drink
>>prepping comes up and we start to joke again. having a good time again actually
>>they tell me they're just coming to my house if something goes wrong.
>>i joke that they cant do that I'll be gone
>>they say there is no way im going anywhere
fuck they're right
>>put on a firm face to tell a joke that "well, you better be ready to put out if you come over"
>>they start laughing and gf's friend starts touching my arm. her bf smiles and watches his gf touching my arm
fucking cuckholds.

>>33617959
Did he offer his butthole up? I mean he might be a power bottom.

>>33616811
>Centrists

They live style aliens, in an eternal war with reptilians.
Most people are decent but are influenced by a minority of radicals, some of whom are in power and some of whom walk among us. The centrist is the only one that can see that either side's polarizing drivel is destroying the country, and who can pick them out of a crowd for what they are. Everyone else either doesn't care or wants a cause to believe in, so they go with it. They can't tell them from the decent people.

>Libertarians
Probably some kind of infernal power. Can deliver onto you what you ask for - more or less - but you're signing away your soul/control and damning yourself in the process.

>>33618014
no. he just smiled as his girlfriend started touching my forearm and shoulder for the next while.

im thinking i can pull a 3 some out of it if i play my cards just right

>>33618060
enjoy your gonasyphaherpaloids, anon

not that your story ever actually happened, but that's the conclusion of such tales

>>33608168
>okay, but you're going to get REAAAALLL tired of sucking my dick.

>>33618104
hearty lol

>>33608175
>religion of peace
your taquiya is showing shabab

>>33608181
>>33608702
>>33608779
>>33608881
>>33613810
you guys are all being baited. everyone knows muslims are subhuman animals. theres nothing 'bro' about them. his tripfaggotry is an oxymoron designed to illicit reaction, and his every post confirms. just start ignoring him

>>33608175
In no way am I surprised by this coming from you

>>33608175
Fpbp

>>33608168
>revealing your prep level to anyone

Shiggy doggy doo, where are you?


Unless it's a person you actually want to ride out a seriously rough event with, you never tell people that. Just laugh and say "lel Ive got some canned food or something, guess I'll be ok with my baseball bat" or something so they think you're as clueless as they are.

It's never the person that initially hears it that will be the problem. It's when that cunt tells 5 of her friends and then those friends decide to bring their families but those families just can't leave behind grandma in the wheelchair and it just spirals out of control.

>>33618124
>taquiya
can we stop this meme?

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>>33608175
Kys fämalam

>>33614125
RESPAWN

Fuck i wish they brought that back. Used to be my favorite show on youtube

>>33608175
>muslimbro
Fuck I thought this lame cunt was gone

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>>33608168
>Zombie apocalypse actually happens

>>33620461
How /k/ were they?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AP3liX5nZ4

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>>33620520
>the style contest
>sark's mp5 misfires
>mfw

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>>33620663
It couldn't handle the sexiness.

>>33620133
>people don't lie to take advantage of gullible, ignorant, or skeptical people.
>using the muslim word this islamophobic!
>literally scared to offend muslims
Reddit is that way, kid.

>>33616970
not while sakuya still exists

>>33618060
Won't your griifriend feel left out?

>>33617879
Yup. Sure am. You're off by a decade, though.

>>33620133
No, we can not.

>>33616617
don't forget 28 days later where it was basically mutated rabies

>>33608168
>No John, you are the zombies

>>33608181

That's just how Muslims are, anon.

Just picture the average edgy American GenX teenager, but they never grow out of it. They just start doing it for real.

Many, many moons ago (est 10 years) we used to have fun threads about zombies.

They slowly but surely died off as people got tired of them, but I miss them sometimes.

>>33623888
nice trips

>>33608175
have fun with your prion disease

>>33616970
I don't know does the glider fag have a trip?

>>33608168
If you're a guy, you better
>bring ammo in a caliber I use
>bring your own food
>bring your own clothes and supplies

If you're a woman you better
>be a goddamn doctor or lpn

During the zombie apocalypse they'll be plenty of useless holes looking to survive off of others. I'm not entertaining that.

>>33626457
I think when you get down to it in any serious WROL situation, something apocalyptic or crazy like zombies in particular trusting anybody new is almost always too risky to be worth it.

A cute helpless nurse you find on the side of the road is a great asset. Until she kills you in your sleep because she actually

1. roles with raiders lol
2. realizes she can't trust you

or maybe they just disappear when your separated for a short period of time, hooks back up with their real friends and come back to kill you for your beans. Almost anybody you knew before the apocalypse, regardless of their skill set, is going to have a very inflated value when compared to any unknown quantity. After all, the risks are your life, and people are the most dangerous animals of all.

>>33626586
d@ nutnfancy refrence

I can feel the ground shaking already from the impending chimp out

>>33625438
i think you only have to worry about that if you eat brain or spinal tissue.
you can get similar shit eating squirrel brain

>>33616811
>libertarians
The Borg

>>33623888
right around the time hollywood hit the base of the zombie dick?

>>33616561
> 90%

more like 99.99%. I wish more zombie media explained how almost everyone is dead even though zombies are really pretty easy to kill.I think left 4 dead did the best job of this, actually.

I unironically wish zombies existed innawoods so there'd be something dangerous to hunt. Imagine if you could go zombie hunting on weekends with friends, that'd be fun as fuck and let's face it even the fat asses on thus board would probably be okay.

>>33616617
>The Zombie Survival Guide also had a smart take

It thought a garand was god tier and relied on the A1 straw man to justify its authors hateboner for American firearms. It also thought a plague with a 24 hour turn time would spread to more than five people. I understand it's fantasy but at least try to make sense.

>>33628369
try bears

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>>33608175

>You own guns? Promise you'll give me a heads up before you come and shoot the place up, LOL!

>>33608881

It would be haram

>>33608175
made me reply degenerate faggot,your mom should've swallowed you.

>>33608175
Its incredible how I can still recognize horrible mistakes like muslimbro even though I have 4chanx making everyone anonymous

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>>33608168
>"Heh, no wonder anon is so quiet! He has guns and is probably going to shoot up the whole campus!"
If they keep calling me that I might just become one. I just like to keep to myself for Christ's sake, is that hard to figure out?

>op posts meme thread
>/k/ doesn't understand memes
>responds to topic as if it's a discussion thread
never change /k/

>>33608168
>>33631533
>>33608763

Why are you guys so insecure about a little harmless, if overused, ribbing?

>>33631533
ANON NO!

>>33630734
for you

>>33631792
the name of the game is "post dumb things noguns say" sorry it wasn't laid out in the title for you to understand. also, you should really kill yourself.

>>33608175
>a muslim wants to kill and brutalize people
Surprise surprise

>>33608168
I allow them to come and tell them whats up, rules, and how to use a gun quickly f they dont know how to

More people means less problems with looters rioters or rival gangs. And if each person puts in the work we can have a surplus of equipment, specialties, and skills. not to mention muscle.

My home is large and gated enough for atleast me and partner + six other people

>>33631906
kill yourself

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I'm coming over to your house in a zombie apocalypse and I'm bringing my own guns and supplies so we can camp out together. No one can make it alone.