Failed LEO polygraph

>>33599900
All this combined, no and yes

Yesnomaybeidontknowcouldyourepeatthequestion

>>33599926
I even sold my favorite strip joint to get fucked at. I can never go back now. SMDH

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>>33599900
Kek should've lied. I'm in the process now with a big ass city department and have no intention of snitching on myself. I have never got in trouble on paper so I think I'll skip the part where I spill my guts. DESU I feel like they get you to use the poly to admit shit you otherwise wouldn't have. Just make sure your pre question answers match ur poly answers. Good luck, anon, I heard failed polys follow you around.

>>33599900
>Was it because I admitted to fucking prostitutes in past year?
Yes
>Or was it because I admitted to fucking a 15 y/o when I was 18?
Yes
>or was it because I said I masturbated at work but didn't put that down on my pre exam paperwork?
-Why the fuck would you do this
-Probably

For a good liar, you sure are dumb.

>>33599900
>do a bunch of stupid, illegal, and creepy shit
>surprised when law enforcement doesn't want you

A polygrAph works by fear. It's so inaccurate that they literally can't even use it in court.
It's more about what it did to you, weaseling out things that you otherwise wouldn't have said
In other words, you got baited OP. But it's probably fine
Probably.

>>33599955
I work at a place with a lot of fine ass chicks man. You'd jack off if you worked there too

>>33599976
The question is can i redeem myself at another department?

>>33599997
Yeah I'm willing to bet you can
Jerking off at work? They'll laugh at you.
But it's not child porn. So in relevance it's not really a big deal

>>33599997
Not that anon but the next dept will ask where else you applied. More than likely they will compare notes and not pass you either. Might be some backwoods dept and not give a shit.

>>33599997
So many people fail because of fear, even when they're entirely honest.
I've heard of a DA saying more on the poly than she wrote as well, and she's fine. So you're probably play.
Fucking a minor? Honestly we all know that minor gave Consent.
It's not "legal"
But it's not rape, you didn't harm anyone. That's probably fine as well
Don't get cocky though thinking that you can say whatever the Hell you want, they can read your tone

>>33600030
The fact that it was just a pre-exam might lighten his burden a bit, but Idk anything about that part

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>>33599900

Polygraph tests honestly scare the shit out of me.

What blows me away is that I have an aunt that works for the FBI and i have no idea how she got in, whereas my 33 year old cousin who is a fucking boy scout failed his 2nd interview. They both have a degree in accounting

Are you supposed to deny everything? I know its more of a getting under your skin type deal, and they want to see how you react and if you crack.

My honest to God reaction is to laugh things off and to be sarcastic as fuck when people try to get at me

>>33600055
The pre exam is just to see if things match with the poly. The fact they DQ'd him isn't going to help him at the next place he applies. He's going to have to explain the DQ.

>>33599900
Yeah, you really don't need to be a cop.

>>33600170
Why mother fucka?

>>33600179
You have shit impulse control.

>too dumb to lie for a polygraph
I'm surprised they didn't hire you. You're the perfect candidate for the police force.

>>33600204
How could you have determined that through the few sentences I have written on this thread?

On the contrary, every move I make is quite calculated. I'm the least impulsive person I know. However, sometimes my calculations are off, like telling the truth on a poly.

>>33599900

It'll probably stayed recorded at whatever department you applied to but it won't be shared to other unless you basically said you did a felony crime. Then you're really retarded on top of being a dumbass.

>>33600224
>Pays for sex
>Fucked a 15 year old
>Masturbates while at work
You're right, I wonder how your BG investigator/poly operator came to the conclusion you're lacking in the decision making and self control departments.

>On the contrary, every move I make is quite calculated.
I suppose you actually believe this.

>>33600224
Then you either delusional or a sociopath. Either fucking way, law enforcement is the worst possible career for you, especially if you casual commit crimes and think nothing of it.

>>33600243
Local agencies share lists of no-go candidates. Depending on the state you're in, poly results are also filed with the state's Training and Standards Commission.

>>33599946
Newfag to strip clubs here (only been twice), how do you get sex at a strip club?

>>33600271
This. For once the BG dolt did their job.

>>33600274
>casually commit crimes
>law enforcement

There seems to be a perfect match here

Does anyone here have any experience with Voice Stress Analysis? A few of the agencies I'm looking at use that instead of the polygraph.

>>33600292
pay for multiple lap dances in exchange for no limits

LE agencies actually do this? That's a little creepy, seems like none of their business

>>33600314
Im Op btw

>>33600327
What i said based anon, what i said

>>33600314
>>33600329
And once again, nobody is surprised.

>>33599900
>admitted to dicking a minor
How did that even fucking pop up? Was one of the questions "Yeah, did you ever commit statutory rape?"

>>33600366
>>33600366
Happans a lot with LEO's

I know guys I fucked up bad. But I'll get it next time. So expect a complete sociopath to be pulling you over in a town near you.

>>33600314
>lap dance costs $25 where I go
>have to pay like $50-$100+ to get fucked
I'll just keep giving them a single or two for rubbing their tits on my face in that case.

>>33600327
>Giving someone the authority to take away a private citizen's freedom/life.
>Entrusting someone with expensive and/or dangerous equipment that has the potential for abuse or harm.
>Providing someone with databases that show all of a citizen's governmental records, to include SSN, addresses, jobs, etc.
>Placing someone in a job where the potential for misconduct always exists; constitutional violations, bribery - monetary or sexual, harassment/stalking, etc
Yeah, definitely wouldn't want to weed out any people with glaring liabilities.

As a cop, yes, certain aspects of my private life are my employers business because it directly correlates to my job. OP doesn't need to be a LEO, and the BG investigator did his job in removing him from the candidacy pool.

>>33600314
>>33600314
What do you mean? You just keep getting lapdances or do you have to say something specific?

I'm decent looking

>>33600396
>I'll get it next time
You just got blacklisted, there isn't a next time.

>>33600423
Fuck you Mr. Holier than everyone else. We all know you lied in your exam too.

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>>33599900
that's odd, you sound like a perfect LEO candidate

now please go kill yourself

>>33600429
Just tell her you'll give her 100 bucks for a lap dance with no touching limits and give her a wink and she'll know what's up. She's a hoe after all and doesn't give a flying fuck

>>33600429
Unless you're going to a dump full of coke and heroin addicted strippers you're probably going to have to wait for them to proposition you or at least have the decorum to ask what they're doing after their shift is over.

>>33600423
>on 4chan
>i'm such a perfect person

Enjoying your loli?

>>33600443
Say whatever you want to make yourself feel better, you're till never going to be a cop, and with good reason.

>>33600366
In the departments I'm applying to anyways, you submit a 60-page booklet asking questions about virtually every crime imaginable, with like 20 pages of just sex crimes

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>>33600512
Unless there was some kind of record or case against you already, why in the fuck would you put yes on it?

>>33600460
Hmm good idea

>>33600461
>dump full of coke and heroin addicted strippers

That's where I went, I've only been there twice though when I was like 18

>>33599900
Departments in an area generally speak to each other anon
>Hey has this guy applied to your department?
>Yeah he failed the poly because he fucked a minor and a bunch of hookers
>Okay thanks
Instant disqualification from that department too

>>33600521
It's what they polygraph you on. You hand it in with your application, and then when you get to the polygraph stage they test you on your previous answers

>>33599900
You dumb motherfucker, we told you to lie!

>>33600546
>he didn't use the butthole trick to fool the polygraph

There's a reason those pieces of shit aren't admissible in court.

>>33600563
I don't worry about fooling it, I'm not a fuckup like OP so I don't have anything to worry about

>>33600521
>Just tell the truth about policies that are zero-tolerance and you'll be fine!
Because OP is almost as dumb as one of my coworkers who got failed for admitting to regularly smoking pot on his application to be a pilot.

>>33600423
Fuck you shill. You probably lied to get in too. I got denied under less severe circumstances than OP did ("hurt durr, anon attended gatherings where people were smoking 420lmao, he isn't fit to be an LEO!!"). Yet I see other fuckbois in my prehiring program get passed right along simply because "he or she has a kid (kek, you mean a niglet accident), they must be responsible." The whole process to become an LEO is complete bullshit, you either have an 'in' or lie your ass off.

My advice OP, reapply until they make you either stop or hire you. Ultimately it's their resources wasted, not yours

With OP is truly a sociopath who sees no issue with breaking the law at a whim or he is a genius troll.

>>33600549
I know anon, but for once, 4chan wasn't fucking around

>>33599937
YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME NOW
YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME NOW
YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME NOW AND YOU'RE NOT SO BIG

>>33600577
>Implying it will make any difference to them
You're probably deferred for life, every time you submit an application they'll dutifully put it straight in the shredder. Not like you're inconveniencing then beyond making them get out of their chair for 15 seconds.

>>33600572
Just the stress of being polygraphed can cause you to fail it. It's such a retarded, unscientific thing to use.

Feel free to ask me anything PD related.

>>33599900
>Was it because I admitted to fucking prostitutes in past year?
Yes
>was it because I admitted to fucking a 15 y/o when I was 18?
Depends on your state law
>was it because I said I masturbated at work
Yes
>will this go on my record?
Yes, the Department will maintain a record of you.
>Can I apply to another department and act like it never happened?
No, Departments share applicant information freely between each other.

>>33599900
You should have said to catch criminal you have to think like one!!!

>>33600577
Oh look, another madfag who failed. Should have made better life choices bro.

>>33600308

I did it, they made me repeat myself a bunch but ultimately I got through it. I know others who didn't but I've no idea where they got hung up.

I should add that I had nothing to hide from the Tester.

>>33599900
the truth does set you free, so long as you aren't a sex crazed pedophile

>>33600577
thats not true at all.

im 25, a veteran, and have committed no crimes other than small traffic violations like speeding. and i got one speeding ticket in my entire life, 3 years ago.


if i wanted to be a cop the hardest part would be just studying all that shit.


"oh hey guys i want to be a cop"
>try not breaking the fucking law then

>>33599900
its probably for the best they dont give crazy pedos, who have a problem, a job as a cop.

giving you a badge, a gun, and authority is probably just going to be a liability and someone is going to get raped.

you need help, not a badge.

>>33599900
If you admitted to any of that you're dumb as fuck.

>>33600680
>try not breaking the fucking law then
Implying I broke the law by being in the vicinity of individuals committing crimes. I live in commiefornia anyway, the shit is legal here now and literally everywhere. I honestly think they just didn't want me because I'm white and don't speak a lick of Spanish

>>33600753
>Implying I broke the law by being in the vicinity of individuals committing crimes
You associated with people committing criminal acts. You aren't entitled to the job.

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>>33599900
Remember, it's not a lie if _you_ believe it.

>>33600753
Unless Cali decided to suddenly make prostitution legal, the only state the has legalized prostitution is Nevada and then in only a select few towns.

Dude, you admitted to soliciting prostitutes. Don't be surprised if you end up fucking arrested.

>>33600820
>prostitution
I'm 420lmao failfag, weed became legal here after the 2016 meme election

>>33600846
Oh. In that case, blaze on.

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>>33600854

>>33600782
Ha, I go shooting innawoods with buddies of mine who are cops, they drink on the drive up and sip beer with me the entire time we shoot. Legality doesn't mean shit.

>>33600600
life is unfair...

>>33600907

What are their names and what departments do they work for?

>>33601119
asking for a friend btw

>you do drugs?
Nope
>you drink?
no
>you browse an anonymous image board while posting sad frog memes?
n-n-NO

pass or fail cop anons?

>>33600753
"oh officer i didnt break the law, i just hang out with people who are breaking the law"

youre a special boy aint ya?

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>>33599900

>fucked prostitutes outside of the us where it was legal
>did some drugs in college. Mostly just weed. Graduated 4 years ago
>got fired from part time job back in 2013 for "stealing" was using letting some customers use my rewards card to buy shit and used the points myself to buy stuff
>jerk off to mainly milf porn.
>pirate movies, and music occasionally

How fucked am I?

Should I be honest about the milf porn?

>>33599976
You don't even need a polygraph to sense your own fear. If you practice, you can hide it.

im surprised people still believe the polygraph is real. and more surprised that you haven't realized nearly everyone who has gone out side and lived in the world has done some stupid shit. I guess I shouldn't be shocked that you haven't figured out that fucks up in life happen, and that how we deal with those fuck up is more important than the fuck ups we make.

so I guess its good that you fucked up your pre exam. maybe go work as a mall cop until you stop being a narcissistic little shit and posses the necessary humility to be Peace Officer.

Polygraph? You mean MMPI?

>>33601531
fuck you and your humility.

>>33600623
>>Can I apply to another department and act like it never happened?
>No, Departments share applicant information freely between each other.
no they dont. OP just apply to a different city or state

>>33601490
doing other drugs besides weed disqualifies you for at least 10 years in most departments as far as ive seen

>>33600224
>On the contrary, every move I make is quite calculated.
Do getting caught was part of your plan?

>>33601607
Whether formal, or informal, yes they do.

Aside from that, all that information is filed with whatever state agency holds jurisdiction over POST.

>>33601546
MMPI or whatever other psych inventory you do comes before CVSA/poly

>>33601490
>jerk off to mainly milf porn.
shit tier taste is an instant disqualifier anon.
if you're going to be an agent of the state you have to be into cuckolding

>>33601710
Can confirm. I'm the LEO from earlier in this thread and I can confirm BBC's cuck my 10/10 wife every night. I don't even fuck her anymore, I just jack off to nigggers fucking her

>>33601636

Which departments have you seen?

Last i checked. Doing drugs in the past 5-7 years disqualifies you

>>33600131
Your aunt got the job because she has a vag. Friend's brother got a job with the FBI despite admit ING to being a pot head all through high school. Why? Because he's Chinese.

>>33601935
I wish our society would get some sense and do something to redirect women back into their proper role as livestock.
Tax incentives, CIA subversions, whatever.
A woman's primary value is her ability to produce and raise children for her husband.
What must be wrong with a woman to lead her so far astray that she ends up in the FBI?

>>33600784
that's how I got through
"Have you ever used marijuana?"
>inner monologue
>Have I ever smoked pot?
>No I have not smoked a ceramic pot.

"No, I have never used marijuana"

>>33601490
>milf porn

They might be intimidated by patrician tastes. If you tell them and they still don't want you, it's a not a department you want to be working for anyway.

>>33601911
im talking about harder drugs than marijuana, most are fine with marijuana as long as it has been 5 years

Do they ask about racism?

well your first problem is that you committed fucking statutory rape. that probably had a large impact.

and if you fail your pre-exam BG or even more so lie during it, you're blacklisted from LE. you didn't lie as far as I know, but with that record you should consider a different career.

>>33600659
but what if you are???

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>>33602422
>im talking about harder drugs than marijuana, most are fine with marijuana as long as it has been 5 years

This varies a lot. Most departments are far less strict on cannabis and sometimes a lot more strict on hard drugs.

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>>33599900
>or was it because I said I masturbated at work

I am 100% positive you were failed right there.

>>33599900
>BTW: You guys where right. I should have lied my ass off. I'm actually a very good liar and would have done well. They say the truth will set you free. Fuck that!

Well I'm glad you learned a valuable lesson at least.

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>>33599900
lol go apply at a different PD then, right OP?

maybe once you get the interview down for PD work you can apply to CIA/FBI/NSA

>>33600131
They look for differences in your responses. However, if you respond the same way to everything, you will seem to be telling the truth. Just lie about literally everything so they can't tell the difference.

>What is your name?
>Pepe Wojak.

>Have you ever killed anybody before?
>Mistakes have been made

>Have you ever watched pornographic videos of chicks with dicks?
>No

D-do they really ask if you masturbate at work?

Guise?

>>33606713

Yes and it is disqualifying.

Believe it or not but PDs don't want to hire some dip who is going to rub one out between calls for service.

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>>33599900
>polygraph exam

>>33599900
Not being such a piece of shit that you have to lie is a good start

>no drugs of any kind
>very little alcohol consumption
>no arrests ever
>no tickets
>no fucking underage kids

And then you don't have to lie and you get accepted.

>>33599900
>They say the truth will set you free
It does in the steps leading up to the Polygraph, not the Polygraph itself.

>>33606796
Why? If you're in a restroom stall it's the same as going #1 or a #2. I call it going #3.

>>33607054
Not only is it a sign of horrible character, unless on your break it's certainly time theft.

OP I remember you from your posts in the last thread and I am so fucking smug right now. You are not police officer material.

>>33600030
just dont tell them where you applied, they have no way of knowing where you previously applied unless you tell them

>>33600423
I cant think of any state databases that LEOs have that can access SSN. Its all Name, Address, DoB, DLN, physica description, crim/driving record

>>33599955
>Doesn't occasionally jerk it in the washroom

>>33599952
>I heard failed polys follow you around.
Polygraph is bs and they'll use it to shut you down if they're lookin for a reason

>>33607114
>You are not police officer material.
Yeah, cops aren't just regular fuckups, they're the fuckups that can you can trust not to have a 'crisis of conscience' when the lead hits the African.

I hate American cops. Fucking loathe. If police where I lived were as bad as cops in the US I'd be sending Bourque fan mail.

>>33607887
100% sure that if you would work as atop on the states you'd have no issue beating red guards either anon.

>>33608201
yeah, and that's why i should never be a police officer
I dont give a fuck about blacks
I care about society
and blacks happen to be part of it

>>33599900
You can actually dupe a polygraph if you're chill enough.

>>33599900
>admit to breaking the law
>hurr y i fail
idiot

>>33608216
>and blacks happen to be part of it
[citation needed]

>>33607227

MVD in my state has your SSN when they pull your name up and the PD always asks for SSN from whoever they contact so it's in Dept records too.

>>33599900
You know polygraphs don't really work right?

They are more or less just there to make idiots admit to stuff.

>>33607887
you are an idiot for basing your opinions on media (propaganda) when you've already admitted you have no idea what you are actually talking about (because you don't live here)