how do you keep yourself entertained while on watch?

look at nudes saved on my cell and Jack it.

>>33585535
good idea!

>>33585533
The most useful thing that I learned in the military, as part of watch duties, is to sleep standing.

>>33585533

I fill a condom up with latex safe lube and wear it the whole time. I might jizz 5-6 times in it by the time I'm off duty without anyone realizing.

I play this game with myself where I gauge how much time has passed without looking at my clock or watch or phone.

you get your rodger out and give it a good polish

try not to make him spurt his gooey explosion! the staff Sargent might be rather displeased

OhHOOO I loved my staff Sargent me, oh yes

>>33585932
I thought I was the only one who did this.

Wood carving.

>>33585953
Nice, and you have your knife at hand. Any pics of the result?
>>33585932
Sounds like a useful skill, kinda meta of you think about it
>>33585874
You fucking lazy disgrace of a slob, when on watch, watch.
>>33585893
dafuq i just red

Grizzly Wintergreen and Marlboros.

I throw random things over the side of the ship, cups, plates, flashlights... I threw a flashlight in the dark while it was on. could see if twirling round and round all the way down. Threw an huge office chair once. that was a good laugh.

>>33586038
There's some logistics officer on a ship somewhere right now trying to figure out why they need to keep ordering flashlights and office chairs.

I sharpen my buddies knives or tell stories.

Bэвэхa CКФO?
He cпи, caлaбoн.

>>33586064
Can you gt us a short story anon? Preferably without dinosaurs

>>33586061
More on tossing shit in the water. on this particularly long time in the box myself and some buds threw a desk with drawers and half a dozen cardboard cases of individual cans of sardines over the side and none of it sank. We kept passing this mess every time we came back around through that spot. The boxes of sardines soaked apart and came open. So individual cans of sardines FLOATING. Was good times

>>33585533
Kegels to get my cumshot game to porn star levels

>>33585533
Sharing stories that border the bullshit, bizarre, and relatable, while ultimately being none of those things.

>>33585533
I play the alphabet game.

I pick a category of things; say Rock Songs, then try to think of one song for every letter of the alphabet in order. X is always a problem, but you can give yourself freebies if you like.

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my favorites are the ones in the evenings, no one's there to fuck with you or bother you with dumb phone calls.

taking long walks whilst making rounds and talking to myself. just getting into that meditative zone with myself is really relaxing to me.

or another form of meditating
>go for rounds
>usually it's me sitting behind the desk wring entries
>tell rover im gonna rove or else im gonna pass out from sitting in that damn chair
>listen to some tunes on my ipod while walking around
>walk far enough and enter some head nearby
>do some talking into the mirror, things like that
>normally i just do this at the head nearest to our quarterdeck
>punch the damn walls if i had a shitty week or simply for the fact that this enlistment was nothing but pure aggravation
>more punching because my dumbass self fell for the recruiter's deceiving bullshit
>more punching because fuck this fucking rate
>more punching simply because i'm surrounded by dickheads
>more hits again simply because i'm a pissed off cunt
>come back to quarterdeck to continue action-packed watchstanding with rover
>hey anon did you hear something banging
>what? nah man, no that was probably nothing y'know.
>shit scared the hell out of me, it was pretty loud man
>yeah it was probably nothing man
>rover forgets about it goes back to watching his show on his tablet
>continue watchstanding until it's over

>>33586220
i'm gonna try this

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>>33586234
hohohohohohohohoho
jesus that's depressing

>>33585535
fpbp

Though I don't usually jack it I just play around with my cock. Pretend it is an SS soldier (helmets very similar) and is on various missions.

Once I pretended he was chasing jews in Austria during winter, skiing around finding them, and accidentally jacked but that was just the one time. Total surprise too I thought I was kinda close so slowed down and the feeling went away. But then I saw a jew and had to put it in high gear and boom went the dynamite.

>>33585533
Does everyone have to do watch?

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>>33585533
I was always good at and enjoyed daydreaming. The army made it possible for me to hone my skills to absolute perfection throughout my time in.
I could get lost in thought for hours without falling asleep just imagining how my life could look like if I chose a different route than the .mil, how my life will look like years after I get out or what would I do if I was born in a different place at a different time.
It's top tier autismo but I do it to this day.
>>33586194
>on this particularly long time in the box myself and some buds threw a desk with drawers over the side
>mfw
And they say that we're thr weirdest fucks in the infantry.
Fucking navy.

Acquire rank patches from milsurp stores/websites
Acquire double-sided tape from admin pukes
Give rank to any wildlife you encounter on your rounds
Points are awarded based on the animal's skittishness and the seniority of the rank you stuck on it

>>33586234
Yeah, I have found talking to myself to be useful. Once had a conversation with myself that somehow looped around to elephant thongs. Shit was weird and was certainly worth a hearty laugh.

>>33586273
My highest score was getting a Command Sergeant Major patch onto a starling.

>>33586273
Actually made me chuckle out loud. Story?

>>33586287
Not much story to tell. The key is to just stand still long enough for the wildlife to approach you.
Birds are worth the most, squirrels next, trash raccoons and turtles are worth the least.

Though I have always had this humorous image of some poor bastard goofing off on watch and looking up to see a robin with sergeant stripes eyeballing him through the window.

>>33586257
yeah, you're not wrong but it's never always like that.
I go into the lounge and watch whatever's on TV, i was watching The Shanghai GP, Formula 1 shit. the other night and shit was pretty exciting.
i've gotten into motorcycles heavily recently and i was hoping to catch some motogp. i just really like how they lean so damn low into the turns. but the F1 was on so what the hell. motosport is really fucking cool.

sometimes i go into the offices, the one's that aren't locked at least and draw dicks onto all of the whiteboards. then i lock those offices once i'm done roaming in there.

we're not all the same, you might have your own ways to keep entertained.
we all make our own ways to have some fun

>>33586319
> YOU BETTER SALUTE THAT ROBBIN, PRIVATE!

>>33586336
I like to draw dicks in peoples hats that are left unattended.

>>33586451
great idea, im gonna do this

>>33586468
sharpie markers are best. I always carry one.

When in port you can fuck with the other ships brow staff. If you know who any of them are, whisper their name randomly in the walky talky. so they are trying to figure out who is doing it the whole watch.

Anyone ever do a long brow watch alone and mid way through you have to shit? But you cant leave... I have, Was in the winter. sometime between 0130 and 0330. I brought the ice melt salt bucket into the quartermaster shack and shit in that. Wiped my ass with paper towel, tossed the paper towel over the side and scooped my shit out of the salt bucket like a cat litter box and flipped that overboard.

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>>33586261
This is like that one anon on /v/ who got caught pretending his penis was Darth Vader and his mom thought he was jacking it.

>>33585986
> when on watch, watch
I didn't sign up for this shit. I get barely payed to enforce passive counter intelligence, not to freeze off my balls on a barely standing tower.

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>>33586261

>>33586319
Are you a fucking princess?

a fuckload of anime.

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>>33585533
I think about the past and all the good moments of my life.

I used to draw imaginative battle scenes from WWII whilst sitting in the cubicle at my mortgage telemarketer job.

Bust out a pen and paper and design your dream home.

I think about all the times I fucked up in life.

It also works good at keeping me awake and psychologically unstable.