What is /k/'s experience with PTSD?

>>33559931
Is his mag fucking unloaded

>>33559931
It's a bitch and a half. Can't sleep well. Constantly stressed. Emotionally numb. Didn't get mine the cool way though.

>>33559931
I have PTSD but I wasn't in the military.
I went to the Monarch Theatre with my parents and afterwards we walked through this alley where we were held up at gunpoint and the gunman asked my mom for her pearl necklace. My dad refused and the gunman shot them both leaving me the sole heir of his company and his billions of dollars.

>>33559931
None
Because I am not a weak faggot

>>33563091
What is Bruce Wayne doing on /k/? Bruce Wayne hates guns.

>>33563133
>Batman is the guy bitching about "muh honor" and not needing guns in self-defense threads

It makes sense

i mean... i got PTSD from an asshole abusive mom.
can't sleep, break down at a moment's notice, keep looking around to see if she's behind me

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>>33559931

Constantly sweeping the road for IEDs, always thinking I'm going to hear about TIC over my radio, sweating when I hear loud bangs / booms, finger twitches, constant threat assessment...

When shit keeps trying to blow you up, you end up like me.

Living alone in a small apartment.

I've always got a pile of munchies, pot and alcohol. It's not a bad life, I mean, I can relax but I still get some bitchin' nightmares.

But nightmares ain't shit, right.

Sleep paralysis is what's bad. Your awake but you can't move and weird, dark shit starts to happen.

But every time I visit my mother, I instantly snap into *I'm fine, it's okay, I love you, etc*

I adapted to my PTSD, I didn't let it own me.

I found constant activity helped. Working out, gaming, browsing the net, jogging, anything like that.

Been working on an album as of late, it's like a mix of Johnny Cash and Western-ish influences.

TL;DR Yeah, lots of stuff.

Ausfag former Leo here. It can happen to anyone in services, with triggers you wouldn't expect. I beat someone in a non-compliant arrest with a baton (totally ineffective) - partner was hospitalised and got 5 external and 3 internal stitches; following that my body burned energy like no tomorrow - a constant state of arousal (inb4 sexual), diagnosed as 'hypervigilance'. Couldn't go out in public (city centre) without my back t a wall, watching everyone's hands like a paranoid. Was dating a girl and it coincided with some annual leave, so basically slept, went to a PT to try and smash my way through it with exhausting workouts, went to police shrink, napped, and banged this girl. Most of the time I was totally exhausted. It was a difficult but not entirely unenjoyable period of my life.

Got through it in a month or so. Changed services (now FD), but always aware of it and manage myself accordingly. Awareness of self is key.

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>>33563133
>>33563144

>>33563174
You're doing the right things anon with the running and workouts - weed and alcohol not so much, but you're an adult so choose your own path. Have you seen a psych? Even if you think the treatments are bullshit (I did), it helps just to tell the story to someone - unload the burden. Also small apartment dweller here, sounds like you're not letting it define you, but I can be milked for inspiration e.G. your music.

God speed anon.

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>>33563192

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>>33563196

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>>33563201

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>>33563207

I end up lying to my friends and family about whats actually going on inside my head most of the time. I'm pretty sure they're not buying it, the fake smiles.

Whenever they ask about it, I purchase them stuff so they take their mind off of it. Probably going to kill myself in a years time, not because I'm some edge lord.

I just miss all my friends that have.

>>33563093
TIL that having issues from being raped as a child makes me weak.

>>33559931
This guy is going to star in the next modern shooter and he won't even get paid royalties for his likeness

>>33563209
>POKITAPOKITAPOKITAPOKITA

>>33560428

Nah, the mag glass is a lil cloudy, if you zoom in you can see he got a full mag.

>>33563209
Not my gun, not a gun,
>The Gun

>>33563133

No, the old Batman loves guns, has no problems eith killing ppl when needed. Than every one had to be a faggot lol bitch, complain about all the violence. Also look at earlier comics of TMNT. Those turtles had no problem with throwing you off a building, or hitting you with their turtle truck.

>>33563716
Old Batman died with the end of WWII.

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>>33559931

>that pic

b b but noguns r r right?

>>33563030
Please explain anon

>>33563174
I guess you've walked the line.

>>33565277
>>33563030
I'm interested as well.

>>33563030
That sounds like your average manager working for the government.

Do not work for the government. It's not that it's inherently evil or anything, but... fuck, the employees there can be cancer.

>>33565293
what you're doing, stop that

>>33563675
...no, you can literally see the magazine spring inside all the way up.

>>33565195
>Colt Canada L119A2
>H&K M320
>Glock
>obviously in the military (Royal Marines? Who else uses Colt Canada C8s and L119s?)
>"b b but noguns r r right?"
kys

>>33563093
You wanna fight about it then?

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>>33559931
It's very real and it fucks you up hard. You feel like you are a failure and too weak every time it hits you, and it kinda ends up sending you into a worse downward spiral, seeing other people come back just fine while you're waking up in night sweats.

I continue buying guns because I love them, but I can't bring myself to shoot them, the loud bangs give me panic attacks I guess. Really any loud bang does it.

I've actually joined an ARMA 3 group and have been trying to do some op's with them. I guess it kinda makes me face stuff and I think it might be helping a bit. I just hope I can get over my loud noise fear because I really want to shoot the ruger vaquero I bought last year.

>>33559931
My ex is diagnosed with PTSD after a LSD trip.

Is that what you are talking about?

Sometimes I wake up in a literal puddle of sweat in the middle of the night and can't find my kevlar, and I also don't really like crowded places to the point where sometimes I get really bad anxiety from it.

Other than that I'm pretty much ok, just don't start firing off guns next to me at random intervals

It's weird cause I miss Afghanistan a lot sometimes even though it's the source of all my mental issues

Don't know if I'd necessarily call it ptsd but my issue come from ems. Too many car wrecks with people I went to school with, whenever I'm on the road and I see people driving like idiots it immediately reminds me of those calls

>>33563628
Its not rape if you liked it tho senpai

>>33563154
>keep looking around to see if she's behind me
>asshole abusive mom
I guess you meant that literally, kek

>>33563174
let me hear that music, anon

>>33559931
Dad was 'nam vet who had PTSD. He was 17 when he joined the army, was infantry. A big difference with them an the ww2 generation was they couldn't find a way to justify the people they killed or friends they lost. I mean imagine finding out that all your friends died for a war based on lies. That and it was a lot different than wars now, things are a lot more regulated, more rules. Back in Vietnam people just killed and raped an will. And for people like my dad who disagreed with it, they were just told that's the reality of war. And it left them totally disillusioned when they got home. Society's totally fake once you see what people would do to each other if they weren't held back by laws and all. That and a big part was for my dad atleast the military suited him, he couldn't just go back to boring mundane regular life. I mean you'll never experience anything nearly as powerful as war, so of course you'll aways think back to it. It'll aways been the peak of your existence, and the rest of you life will aways seem meaningless in comparison.

>>33566828
Jesus Must have been a really bad trip

>>33566388

Wanna play Arma 3 sometime? Or any other game?

>>33568644
Thanks for sharing. That was compelling reading.

>>33567470
This is my fear. Work EMS in a fairly small community. Most people from the same age group know each other. I've been lucky to not get a TC or OD with anyone i know so far.

>>33568492
2edgy4me

>>33559931
That's not a grenade launcher is it? Wouldn't that be poor choice in a heavily populated area?

>>33572821

might have tear gas in it

>>33559931


You get out, you think you love life. Then you realize the greatest tragedy of all is that even though the military was the worst fucking thing ever, whether your friends died, or you got hurt real bad, or a combination of both.

It kept you so busy you didn't even realize how fucked you were.

So I got out, thought it was so epic, then some refugees moved in next door, and I started to realize that sleeping is really hard when you can hear that derka derka language. Anything that reminds me of my prior life combined with any significant levels of stress puts me into a mind numbing frenzy of panic, and activity to get away or rectify the situation, even if it's a flare gun going off at your kids track meet, and you were pretty engrossed in some mortgage paperwork.

It sucks.

Every time a college kid says they have it, I literally want to teleport directly to them and pull their eyelids off.

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>>33572745
You will if you keep working. It happens. When it does, picrelated is your friend.

>>33572904
Indeed. Two years and I've been put behind a desk once because they thought I would blow my brains out. Some days are better than others though now that I'm on meds

>>33565352
>>33565277

Was a non-catholic kebab looking kid at a Catholic school circa 2004-2005. You can guess what happened. Also had a deranged abusive mother that at one point smashed in the door to my room and said she was going to take my tokarev and shoot herself to show me how bad guns really are (I kept it at a friend's house for a reason). I have severe trust issues, am almost constantly on edge, and I had to be absolutely hammered like the first 15+ times I had sex. I'm getting better, but it's a slow process. Can't wait for weed to become not illegal, because in the past it helped. Quit awhile ago because I wanted to get into guns.

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>>33565373
>Tfw going into IT and considering trying for a cushy government job

>>33568492
I was ten. It was so traumatic that I completely repressed it and only found out after I started dissociating so badly that a neurologist initially thought I was having absence seizures.

>>33572876
>Every time a college kid says they have it, I literally want to teleport directly to them and pull their eyelids off.
Yeah, who the fuck do child abuse victims and other people who aren't you think they are?

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>PTSD
Experience is the same as everyone else's. Its fictional.

>>33573964
>said she was going to take my tokarev and shoot herself to show me how bad guns really are
Average Liberal thinking.

>>33563277
You should REALLY see someone that you can tell the whole truth to. They don't have to be a professional or anything (though seeing a psychologist is a very smart move), just talk to a friend or find someone who has been through the same things. Let out what really happened and you will have someone that can help you because they will know the truth. You will never get help if you don't say what the problem is.

Nightmares, hand shakes, start scanning in crowed areas and get panic. Can't drink anymore or I go nuts. Friends can't hack it, edgy and scared I will go full psycho.

Live on my own. Only contact is functional convos for job. Wake up screaming. Don't give a fuck about people anymore. Don't want to listen to them or care about them. Find women annoying and just use them for sex. Get real bad rage.

Love my dog.

He has bad dreams to. He's understands.

>>33575781
>>PTSDExperience is the same as everyone else's. Its fictional.

Nah.

Hand tremors are a bitch. Just putting hit coffee down is a fucking stress test. No wish to dox myself but I got shelled by 155s for a couple of months.

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>>33563174
>Constantly sweeping the road for IEDs
>constant threat assessment...

I do that anyway. Isn't that just standard practice for anyone who doesn't want to get stabbed to death by a pack of urban youths?

The rest of it though I can't say I've any experience of, luckily. Hope you make it through alright.

>>33577107
>Isn't that just standard practice for anyone who doesn't want to get stabbed to death by a pack of urban youths?
Stop living in shitholes

>>33559931
Sometimes I will get really drunk at the bar and pretend I just got back from a combat zone and have severe PTSD, I'll keep telling more and more lies until someone calls me out on my bullshit.

I had one guy convinced that I was working with Mossad in a death squad executing civilians in muslim countries.

>>33575887
>>33575833
Man it's such a fucking relief to know I'm not the only one with hand tremors. It's so demoralizing to not be able to draw a straight line or hold a cup without spilling it or some shit.

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>>33577136
True friendo. True.

>>33565810
Reverse image search took me to some photographer's Flickr claiming he's Royal Military Police if I remember right

>>33577107
>I'm in the ghetto, I better be sweeping the road for IEDs that Jamal and Tyrone laid down on MLK blvd

nigga..

>>33577238
Being on constant alert for IED's is a good thing. Never know what the muzzies are going to do next.

>>33563174
music anon?
i'm into unsigned country artists!!

>>33560428
>>33565771

Why would he need a loaded mag when he's just taking part in the Lord Mayor's Parade?

>>33575752
>some sjw claims to have gotten ptsd from a Internet comment is the same as having fought in a war

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I developed it after I was nearly beaten to death when I was 16. I have a hard time trusting people, and I'm always on edge when around groups of unfamiliar people. Aside from that I don't have to many issues and turned out mostly average.

>>33559931
Got stabbed in the back with a knife doing security work. Everytime I think about it my back hurts and I can feel the knife inside me, distubs me a little to be in that area of the building with jamals around, just happened last month so hopefully it gets better.

OP here.

This was my first time making a thread on /k/ and I plan on enlisting in a few months.

I just wanted to say thank you for the input, I really appreciate it.

>>33563209
If I recall, that gun just shoots a tightrope.

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>>33559931
sometimes I sleep outside on my porch balcony because my apartment is too quite and it makes me anxious

the sound of cars, people and the city gives me some peace of mind. My neighbors are starting to ask questions

>>33566388
Get some msa sordins and or peltors, hell even the Bose CVC headsets are good. Wear ear plugs underneath, and buy the best suppressor for your gun available with the highest DB reduction. Problem solved, sorta.

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>Molested by babysitter between ages 8-9
>Mother tries commiting suicide twice
>Drunk guy goes bananas and tries to kill everyone in my apt. at age 22
>>He dead though


>26 and leading multiple ministries, one being Reformers Unaminious
>>We even have PTSD tracts

Scoff at it all you want, but Jesus Christ definitely made something out of nothing.

>>33579574
>every college kid that says they have ptsd is an sjw with a completely problem free life
Huh.

Late father had dementia. We thought and until he died it was treated more as Parkinsons but it was more so Lewy Body dementia.

Wouldn't count it as PTSD military grade but it was a traumatic case of 15-22 or so. "Insanity is doing the same thing but expecting different results" isn't really the entire story of madness. More so it creates an alternate reality and drags people around you warp-like into your abyss. Worst that I remember was waking up to mom screaming for me and a loud bang as he walked into her bedroom and threw her off the bed thinking she was one of the orderlies at the hospital. Sometimes comical, like screaming to me the dog ran out and got hit by a car when the dog was literally wagging its tail next to him. More often just despair and depressing. Don't want to have people over because he'd walk around naked upstairs, can't go anywhere far because he might burn down the house, lock my door because he might confuse it for the bathroom. I missed the real belligerence in the last year before we had to put him in a nursing home, so mine was more trying to live and care for a mad-man and making me neurotic.

For anyone that does end up with a dementia relative one advice is to not confront their insanity. It is far better to, within reason, play the part for both you and them. So for instance my mom's father (88ish before he passed) had dementia the last year or two as well. And one story she had was visiting him and he kept trying to get up and leave. "I have to make the train, I can't miss the train". So she'd bullshit a lie that "Relax dad the train was delayed there's a big snowstorm" (It's like June). He went "I'll catch another train or a plane" and so she bullshit that there was a hurricane coming up from the south that was grounding all the planes too, the safest spot was right where he was.

>>33582604

If you just confront them with their insanity? Well, how do you feel if people look at you funny, act awkward and anxious and try to adamantly convince you otherwise on some obvious fact of nature like "the sky is blue" or "I am male" or "the 2nd amendment protects the rights of all citizens to bear arms".

But yeah wouldn't feel comfy calling it PTSD just because that has the connotations of violent or military or crime/assault experience. More just anxieties.

>>33577238

I'm surprised we don't see more IEDs considering that 69-70s days of rage leftist paramilitarism. Guess I should be glad progressives are afraid of bombs now.

My life wasn't great before but I think about dying a lot now.

>>33563133
his body is the weapon

>>33566828
I had a really terrible trip on mushrooms when I was 17, pretty much had convinced myself that I had died and was already in hell, it's hard to put into words how fucked up that was. The two other friends that were with me were in various states of decomposition whenever I looked at them, everything else was a completely distorted kaleidoscope and not in a good way. It was traumatizing as fuck and took me years to get past the lingering anxiety of that experience, some of that probably meets the definition of PTSD, although I'd never claim that. That being said, I've also had some really fantastic experiences with psychedelics. The mushroom experience was probably the most terrifying experience of my life, but I also learned a hell of a lot about myself.

If I hear the eeeeeeEEEEEEEEeeeeee of a rocket attack siren, my heart rate goes up quite a bit.

I wasn't in the army, but the therapist I've been seeing tells me that's my big problem. I had an abusive boyfriend, mostly physically. It reached a boiling point one day, and he gave me a beating bad enough to land me in the hospital, and tried to strangle me. So I shot him. Most of my issus are when people start raising their voices or moving their arms near me at all. It's really bad if they try to touch me. Most nights I just lay awake in bed and kind of wish I'd just died. Got the gun back after the investigation was sorted out and it's just been in my closet ever since. I can't even bring myself to look at it. But I still like /k/.

>>33559931
why the fuck do I see these guys wearing a drop-leg rig with no/light armor

>>33584722
Did you kill him at least?

>>33582429
I went the opposite way. I was all aboard the Jesus train until things got really shitty and religion was doing nothing for me. I tried getting into Buddhism a few years back, but I rapidly realized that I am too shitty of a person for that.

>>33575797
Kinda but not really. She is legitimately insane. I sold it at her insistance (it was that or get kicked out, and she kicked me out anyway so the joke is on me I guess), and the next time she lost her shit she told me to go shoot her. When I reminded her that I sold my gun she told me to go get another one. There is a reason we don't speak much anymore.

>>33580397
Silence!!!

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>>33559931
I know it's nowhere in the same league as real PTSD, but DayZ mod used to give me some serious stress and anxiety.

My friends and I often used to play it for 4-8 hours straight, and even though we had plenty of fun, being on high alert for that much time, watching out for other players who were more than happy to put a bullet through your skull, that was incredibly nerve-wracking.

ARMA does a pretty good job of simulating gun sounds, so the snap-whiz of bullets zipping by or the loud bang of a DMR shooting at you was good enough to feel real. I've played plenty of FPSes before, but pretty much any combat action in DayZ would leave my heart pounding and hands shaking for half an hour after it was over. It probably doesn't help that both my mother and sister have anxiety and depression disorders, though.


I can't imagine having to deal with those kind of anxiety attacks being set off in real life by random occurrences, and I'm quite thankful that the one event in my life that could've given me actual PTSD didn't.

>pic related, cars are not made for barrel rolls

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>>33577166
>tfw smoking, a deadly and unhygienic addiction is the only thing that calms my right hand down now

Th-thanks

>>33568644
very well written anon