Military Experience Thread

>>33503595
>Told them I didn't even want my 10 days of leave, I couldn't look at my family the same way...
wut

Wait a minute I didn't make this thread.

File: super marine.jpg (81KB, 941x532px) Image search: [Google]

81KB, 941x532px

>>33503595
>Be be, 17
>parents don't wan me to join the military
>go to a recruiter anyway, convince him to let me join without parent signature
>Make it to basic
>Immediately stand out due to my superior physical fitness
>rifle qualifications
>shoot a perfect score
>graduate from basic early because of my extraordinary performance (Only 2 weeks and a day)
>I decline being placed in a unit
>I'm a lone wolf
>I spend a day watching airforce pussies taking off
>decide I've seen enough
>take an F-35 for myself and fly myself to the middle east
>eject while nose diving into an ISIS cave
>land amidst the wreckage, unleashing lead and knives in every direction, clearing out the entire ISIS cell.
>spend the next 5 weeks clearing out cave after cave, city after city
>I've single handedly defeated ISIS
>Make my way back to the US
>President Clinton greets me personally
>She gets on her knees and blows me on the spot
>TFW I just nutted in the presidents mouth
>TFW she gives me the title of "super marine"
>TFW I'm more badass than you could ever dream to be.

Don't believe me? Here's my paperwork.

SAGE goes in both fields folks.

File: Me in service.jpg (4MB, 3072x2304px) Image search: [Google]

4MB, 3072x2304px

>>33503616
>>33503651
>>33503676
Contribute or leave
>>33503712
That is more like it.
I don't want civilian crap in my thread, only authentic military stories \.
Pic related is my spec ops unit

>>33503753
I don't care if you didn't serve like I did
I don't care if you are a pussy that doesn't like the military
I don't care if you don't like guns
This is a serious thread for serious posters.
Respect my rules or get out

>>33503712

Ew dude, her mouth is gross. She does all that pizza gate baby eating stuff. Meaning your penis is also likely a goner

I prefer Callum threads

>>33503755
Replying is contributing doppelganger.

>>33503796
>not a contribution
LEAVE
>>33503801
Don't pretend to be me
And no it isn't
Stories are contributing

>none
>in the military indu$trial complex making fun science experiments on your dime.

>>33503870
not sure what this means

>>33503595
I have an actual story

>Chair Force BTM aka Marching Simulator 2014
>Week 1
>Lined up to take our piss tests
>Barely knew anyone in my flight
>Goofy looking hispanic dude to my left is shaking
>He looks nervous as fuck
>If I recall correctly he barely spoke any english
>There I am making hypothetical judgments about his past life choices
>the nigga starts pissing his pants
>and covering it up badly
>make eye contact
>I just make my way in line pretending not to notice
>somehow I'm the only one who caught it
>medical staff notice a puddle on the floor
>start screaming asking who did it
>"..." said all trainees

Nothing became of it but I'm the one dude who knows Airman [Redacted] pissed himself

>>33503939
Not super cool but thank you for sharing
This thread is all about experiences, cool or not, bad or good
Thank you fellow soldier

Once every couple of months, this pasta is funny. Once a week and it gets fucking annoying.

>>33503975
>lying on the internet
>not contributing
get the fuck out. I have never posted this before and seeing as how it is my actual experience, no one else did either
Take your military bashing, communist crap somewhere else you edgy kid

>>33504000
I fucked Saddam Hussein in the butt so hard the force of my orgasm sent him to the gallows he died on.

>>33504035
>not real
>not a contributon
>not even funny
go to bed junior, night/k/ is clearly not for you

>>33504051
This
Come on guys. I know there are other Spec Ops guys besides me here.

>>33504199
There really aren't

>>33503595
Bump

>>33504634
Cell phone bump

>>33503712
so you were 17 and got orally raped by hillary because you werent old enough to consent to sex, but could consent to military service?