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*BOOM BOOM CRASH* A burglar just kicked down your front door.

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Thread replies: 214
Thread images: 63

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*BOOM BOOM CRASH*

A burglar just kicked down your front door. You have 15 seconds to get a weapon. What do you do?
>>
Taze him, tie him up, then jizz in his hair.
>>
>>33480076
> if close to any weapon grab it
> if not go full feral and bite his jugular
>>
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>>33480076
I keep my warhammer by my bedside.
>>
>>33480076
Square up with him because I am a man and also a life is not worth protecting material objects
>>
>>33480189
It's not about the objects
It's an accuse to beat some up
>>
>>33480076
Pick one of the many guns (probably the old Remington 12 gauge) sitting near me to beat him to death with because all the ammo is in another room.
>>
>>33480076
I laying down with my dog and there's a handgun in my bed stand.
>>
>bedroom is on the second floor right above the front entrance
>sensei trained me for this exact moment
>hear crash
>grab AR
>kick out window
>rappels behind you
>heh nothin personal, burglar
>bang bang
>>
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>>33480189
What a heteronormative and patriarchal statement to make! It's my right to defy gender norms by ventilating this home invader, you bigot.
>>
>>33480189
Most people who don't give a damn to let you know that they're breaking into your house probably have a weapon and ain't fucked up with shooting/cutting you up
>>
>>33480116
This. People always fuck around and want to have a 'fair' fight or worrie about muh honor, people forget we have nails and teeth. Gouge eyes, bite, go for the throat, rip off ears, you name it, it's all fair when your life is on the line. Become an animal and leave the human shit behind
>>
>>33480189
>spotted the eurofag or ausfag
Why do you sheltered nannystate faggots always assume the criminal just wants your stuff? Sometimes they want to rape you/your wife/your daughter too, or fuck you up so they don't have a witness

Better yet, why are you so okay with some one just waltzing out with your hard earned shit? When some one decides to steal from me or hurt me, they are no longer a person, they are your enemy and should be dealt with accordingly. I'm not going to count on some one who willfully committed multiple felonies breaking in to my house showing me some semblance of mercy when confronted
>>
I'd pull out my cc, and then mag dump.
>>
beat him to death with rock hard shit I just gave birth to
>>
>>33480076
Scream and throw my horse plushes at him.
>>
Lock my door and do nothing. I live with my parents who are anti-gun and don't know I have a literal armory in my closet.

I would hope they steal everything and I wouldn't call the cops. When my mom or dad gets home and sees the place ripped to shit I'll just cry and tell them I was too scared to do anything but hide. Maybe the robbers will stick around and take one or both of my parents hostage, I don't care.
>>
>>33480076
shoot with g19 right next to me
>>
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Plenty of time to grab the Argentine lady.
>>
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>>33480076
Don't know what the fuck this is but it packs a punch.
>>
>>33480076
Grab '74. Family rushes past me into back bedroom. "Anon! Get in here!" Ignore. Round corner. Engage target. Center mass. Two shots. Guns is loud inside. I am now deaf. Target falls. Check his hands for weapon. Check for movement. Double tap if target moves. I am now significantly more deaf. Check his wallet. Take cash from his wallet. Replace wallet. Call 911 to remove corpse. Talking on the phone while deaf is confusing. Mop floor. Drink whiskey while being yelled at for putting myself in danger. Can't hear it cuz I'm now deaf.
>>
>>33480578

Looks like a handle for a floor jack.
>>
>>33480163
FOR THE EMPEROR!
>>
>>33480076
Let them come.

Eventually.
>>
>>33480076
Unload all 9 slugs from my 590 into him, just for shits and giggles.
>>
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>>33480076
>teleports behind you
>unsheathes katana
>nothin' personnel, kid
>>
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>DU MA MAY MY DEN CONG SAN
>>
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AFFIX

BAYONETS
A
Y
O
N
E
T
S
>>
>>33480076
How badly would it hurt to get hit with 10 CCI MiniMags at point blank range from a rifle?
>>
>>33481230
He'd probably be feelin' it, Mr. Krabbs.
>>
>>33481244
I may only have my 10/22 right now, but I do my best to make it a viable HD weapon.
>>
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>>33481108
my gf tells me bayonet size doesn't matter, it's how you use it. Is she right guys?
>>
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>>33480076
>>
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>>33480076
pick up the gun on my nightstand and tell him to get on his fucking knees
>>
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>*BOOM*

>*BOOM*

>*CRASH*

That's all it take for Freddy Mercury to break into your house with the intent to rock you. Why don't you own a gun?
>>
>>33480076

>drop shorts
>quickly jerk to full erection
>grab beside CZ P-07 with RMR and XC-1
>charge after bad guy, cock first
>>
either a boot knife, a kershaw, or a SOG Fixation bowie. I can only hope that he is slow or armed with something other then a firearm or a bladed weapon.
>>
>>33480076

I'm less than 21 feet from my door, and keep a maglite tucked into the arm of my chair. I beat him to death while screaming racist epithets and masturbating furiously with my other hand.
>>
>>33480076

charge firing with AK in one hand, grosse messer in the other.
>>
>>33480076
ive got a Yugo Mauser with 1 SP and 4 FMJ rounds

what do you goys think an 8mm Mauser soft point would do to a person within a 20 foot distance?
>>
>>33481230
depends where you hit him. if all 10 rounds hit him in the upper chest, and with a .22 rifle that is an easy thing to do within a mater of seconds, dat niqqa dead
>>
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>>33481483
The results would be... grievous.
>>
Tiny-ass apartment. Probably on the couch next to the door watching Netflix. Remove the Glock 19 from my rectum and proceed to defend my castlette.
>>
>>33481518
>Mah baybeh boi got keyelld bah sum rayycist boi wit dem tynee-azz boolits
>>
>>33481540
I prefer "hill-fort". But that might just be the Norman blood.
>>
>>33480076

I use the first 2.6 seconds to grab and load my AR, and the next week hearing EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
>door gets kicked in
>oh_fuck_m8.jpg
>grab a moist nugget
>bring into garage
>make into Obrez
>intruder is raping girlfriend
>shoot near them
>fireball burns them both like jews
>girlfriend is dead
>is okay she wouldn't give me head last week
>>
>>33480076
Continue masturbating, grab the gun by my desk and waddle out with a python in each hand and blast the burglar with .38 wadcutters and jizz.
>>
>>33481529
i just dont want to accidentally kill my neighbors with a fmj
>>
>>33480510

What a pathetic fucking sack of shit you are. You have this one chance, this one opportunity, to be a man and prove them wrong, and instead you'd rather be a spiteful little bitch.
>>
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>Affix bayonet to AK-47
>Charge down stairs
>"THAT'S MY PURSE! I DON'T KNOW YOU!"
>>
Use my wife and children as meat sheilds while i take an extra 30 seconds to unlock my federally madated gunsafe and trigger locks and open my madatory seperate ammunition storage container, to get my 12 guage so i can lock myself in the bathroom and only use my gun if my life is in immediate mortal danger.... then i spend 20 years in jail for brandishing a firearm in a residential shower.
>>
Grab my CCW that is always within a arms reach. I know my house blind folded, he doesn't.
Make sure he gets off carpet and onto hardwood floor. Put JHP's into his ass and disarm him. Kill all outside lighting.and grap ar-10 with night vision. Verify wife has her CCW in hand. Head out side and clear my yard, hopefully engage in unfair fire fight. Call LEO's when I feel it is safe for them and my family.
>>
>>33480076
>A burglar just kicked down your front door.

He'd be injected with somewhere between 2 and 10 230 grain wads of copper jacketed lead within a couple seconds. Then, I'd go looking for the getaway driver.
>>
>>33481618
>i have a duty to defend those who put zero value on their own lives, possessions, or property

lol
>>
>>33481659
Fellow Canuckistani here. Same, but with SKS.
>tfw 10 extra years because it had a bayonet and this was obviously premeditated self-defense with a weapon of war
>>
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>>33480076
>grab sp101 .357 on night stand
>quietly make way to mossyman 500 in corner
>if sounds like intruder is already making way to bedroom, and no time for shotgun, take aim from bed
>start street sweepin', turkey
Sp101 is loaded with 158grn speer gold dots, 500 is loaded with 3" 000 magnum buckshot on top of a couple slugs

>a challenger appears
Wife opens up with her p238 if I go down or need to reload, meme-alo bore 100grn hardcasts

I have other rifles/handguns, but my sp101 is what I carry and practice the most with, so in a panic I feel like muscle memory/training will take over and help
>>
>>33481843
>Premeditated self defense
Wew fucking lad

Dude, i'm so sorry. Come home to America, we take all kinds of immigrants, why not our northern neighbor's?
>>
>>33480076
>tfw accidentally locked the keys to my mosin's crate I made inside said crate

At least I have my Shield 9
>>
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unleash 40 rounds of 5.56 freedom, and hope I don't hit any livestock

>muricafuckyeah.png
>>
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>>33481314
She's wrong.
>>
>>33481904
>oh George, not the livestock
>>
My AR is a chair-roll away from my desk. Mag in the receiver. Drop the bolt and fire away.
>>
>>33481943

at least I have a couple of large chest freezers if I do, I guess

>inb4 for the body or the livestock
>>
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>>33481652
>Mini 30 with strobe tac-light
>"I KILLED FIDDY MEN."
>>
>>33482117
Screaming "That's for the Colonel, REEEEE!!"
>>
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I keep my mossberg 590 next to my bed loaded with that buck/slug mix (old pic i since changed the stock and added a pumkin smasher door breacher)
>>
>>33481843
> owning a semi auto
It's like you want to be charged with terrorism.
>>
>>33480076
the loaded sks in my lap currently
>>
>>33480076
>current year
>not owning a metal door
>>
I grab the bokkun and break it over their head. Then I throw shoes at them.
>>
>>33480076

Bro I have security doors. He'd have an easier time going through the wall.

I guess he's coming through the laundry room window, or maybe the dining room. gonna knock over my shelf clock that Motherfucker!

*puts down SR9c, stomping off toward the safe*

I swear to god, I'll make this fucker pay, that was an heirloom REEEEEEEEE!!!!!
>>
>>33482018

hope you don't kill any beef cows, those are like $1500 for one.
>>
>>33480489
Thanks /mlp/ knew there was a reason we kept you around.
>>
>>33481350
kek
>>
>Open closet
>Grab meme ar
>insert it ain't me mag in
>rack
>safety off
>shoot the fuck for disturbing my sleep
>>
Vp9 in nightstand if already inside the apartment. If heard still trying to get in, AR15 from closet.

Either way he's having a bad night.
>>
>>33480076
Shoot his ass.
>>
Shoot the 15+1 shots of Critical Defense I have.

Pistol whips, anyone?
>>
Right the second? grab my CCW of the day that I put on the computer desk next to me when I got home (today CZ-70) and shoot them. If in bed grab G17 off nightstand, and same general plan.
>>
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>grab bed standing next to my night stand
>smile wide
>proceed to walk downstairs and greet the intruder
>unleash and introduce a hail of 7.62×51mm rounds to my intruder's body and potentially my neighbour and/or their dog
>proceed to scream about the blacks and jews
>smile wide when the TV crew arrives
>"i gots this one right here while he was tryin to repossess my TV"
>"thankfully i saw him clear as day when my muzzleflash illuminated half the neighbourhood"
>proceed to get laid with the news reporter after

i got it all planned out
>>
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>>33480076
I show that rapscallion, the way of the blade...
>>
>>33483555
FAL* Not bed
>>
>>33480076
I am taking a shit right now. So
>boom crash
>dynamically pinch a loaf
>good thing my bathroom gun is within arms reach
>bathroom gun is just for fighting my way to kitchen gun
>15 seconds in I have 2 handguns
>go full duke nukem in boom crashers
>reserve enough ammo to make it my my rifle and ammo hoard
>welfare enthusiasts now pouring in as I mow through them in waves with a seemingly unending stream of fresh mags from my gunfag horde
>I bet my girlfriend won't complain about the ammo wall anymore
>you are now noticing i never pulled my pants up when this all started
>sell the brass littering my house to range vultures
>Make enough to buy a yacht
>become the president
>>
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>>33481019
>>33483559
*it was just a hologram*
>>
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>>33481350
BUDDY YOU'RE A DEAD MAN RED MAN
LOOTIN' IN THE STREET GONNA GET OFF PAROLE SOMEDAY!
YOU GOT SHOT IN YOUR FACE
YOU BIG DISGRACE
SPLATTERED YOUR NOGGIN ALL OVER THE PLACE
SINGIN' WE WILL WE WILL GLOCK YOU
>>
>>33482698
>having heirlooms in sight of windows
>>
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>>33480076
Say a silent thank you to Jesus for this bounty I am about to receive.
>>
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>>33480076
I hold a gun to his head and violate his ass like he violated the NAP
>>
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>>33482235
Put that poor thing out of it's misery and start over. You fucked it up.
>>
>>33480076
Fill them with 124x19 grains of fuck off.
>>
>>33480510

ALMOST CUT MYSELF ON ALL THAT /////EDGE//////
>>
>>33483658
Kek
>>
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>>33481792

Yes. They're your fucking parents, and you live under their roof. Those guns you have aren't a political statement, they're power in its rawest form, the capacity for violence. With power comes responsibility, and that responsibility includes defending your family. The truth is, by resolving the situation, you could show them the error of their ways and prove you're a decent human being...but instead you'll just fake cry. Guns are wasted on someone like you. Your own fucking parents, Anon. Disgraceful.
>>
>>33480553
Piece of shit is still

>a piece of shit.
>>
>>33482235
I h8 u m8.
>>
>>33484164
they'll probably get mad as fuck even if he does save them with the guns
>>
>>33480076

tyrone & jamal did this recently near me

definitely too many of them up here in pacific northwest, i wonder when all the gdamn libbies will wake up and realize that surprise, blacks really are more violent and criminal than whites

sadly by then it will be too late

http://komonews.com/news/local/thieves-rush-homeowner-in-violent-everett-break-in
>>
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I start reaping. Those souls ain't going to reap themselves.
>>
Id honestly grab my m1a scout with 20rds in the magazine. If i let that thing off inside id probably be deaf for the rest of my life.
>>
>>33480076
Act all nonchalant so he lowers his guard for a second then throw my hot tea in his face
>>
>>33483689

>alien fleshlight

Mah nigga
>>
>>33480076
grab bolt action .410 loaded with slugs.
>>
>>33484253

And they'll be alive with their property defended. Even though they're angry, they'll know Anon can keep them safe, because he is a proper man. Angry or not, it's better to have a child capable of action than one who hides in a closet and sobs.
>>
>>33480076
In 15 seconds I could easily get my Beretta 92 from the living room and be in position to blast him from cover. From any room in the house I'm always within 10-12 seconds of a gun. Generally a lot faster.

In living room maybe 3 seconds. In bedroom like 2.
>>
>>33480342
And then fuck the bullet holes
>>
>>33481350
Y tho
>>
>>33480076
>Looks left
Oh, oh nigger you fucked up...
>>
>>33482964
You know you would laugh your ass off at the headline of some horsefucker beating a home invader.
>>
>>33483216
>not knocking the mag on your helmet a few times before insertion
>>
>>33481350
>*BOOM*
>*BOOM*
>*RING*
>>
>>33481341

Dear lord...
>>
I used to be nogunz, so I would get rekt in these threads.

No more.

I grab my 20" AR lying next to me and shoot him.
>>
>>33480595
It is the handle to a floor jack.
>>
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>>33481019
>Infiltrates behind u
>"Ppsh, is nothing personal, tovarisch."
>>
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>>33481392
>>
>>33481392
>trip
>fall flat on your dick
>snap it it half
>>
>>33481540
ah the reliable ol' anus carry
>>
>>33481618
>to be a man
>2 b eh man!!1
Pathetic
>>
>>33480076
pic up my walter ppk and shoot the fucker in the head.
>>
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One shot, one EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
>>33480076

3 1/2 1 1/2 ounce BB max dram 12 gauge shell to the chest and out the other side
>>
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>>33486666

Full choke ofc
>>
>Door kicked in
>NAP is being violated
>Grab my Samsungâ„¢ phone, free from government interference
>put some change into the back and call the Toyotaâ„¢ Introduces Private Security
>Inform them of my situation and grant them temporary access to my heroin farm
>intruder is downstairs
>Strap my FIM-92 to my back, grab my M240B and arm the recreational nuclear self destruct device in case this intruder gets my private property
>rent out my other fully automatic weapons to my 12 year old workers/wives
>malnourished african is going through my fridge
>let rip with M240B but he makes a break into the poppy fields
>suddenly i hear a helicopter overhead
>"Subwayâ„¢ Eat Freshâ„¢ and Freeze! We have you surrounded and are being paid a fair market rate to do so!"
>african hasnt got any bitcoins to pay the security firm so they launch a hellfire missile at him
>piece of shrapnel scratches the paint on my M1 abrahms so i shoot down the helicopter with my stinger missile for violating my NAP
>go back to bed with my 8 wives, shitpost on 4chan about roadfags
>>
>>33480076
I am the weapon.
>>
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>>33486696
thank you for this
>>
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Grab this nasty tool
>>
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>>33486997
>Fairbairn-stykes
m'nigga
>>
>>33480076
I guess I obliterate him with 762x39 and possibly kill my neighbor because my AK is the only thing loaded right now.
>>
>>33487120
>SS dagger
My nigga
>>
>>33480076
>his door can be simply kicked down
wew
>>
>>33481341
War crime.
>>
>>33480076
5 seconds to get my gun
10 seconds to put on my active earpro to avoid the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
Grab my AR-15 and go for the high score
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2017/03/31/oklahoma-home-invasion-shooting-3-victims-broke-into-property-earlier-that-day.html
>>
>>33480076
>>Run to Yugo SKS in the next room
>> SKS is already loaded, DEPLOY BAYONET
>> advance on the intruder while screaming incoherently

Ventilate intruder
Make impromptu home invader kebab
????
profit
EMBRACE ETERNAL EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE because my hearing pro is kept in a clam shell and is not easily grabbed.
>>
>>33480581
Accurate
>>
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Fucking faggot can't even kick down my doors, because it's steel reinforced all the way around with door armour. Literally laughing at the loser that won't give up.
>>
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>>33480076
I'm at work, don't know why they'd have to kick in my door since it's unlocked.
Pic related is right next to me either way.
>>
>>33487545
fucking cable management man
>>
>>33487545
Do you work at Apple?
>>
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Reach through the puppers door and shoot him in the dick with .22 ratshot
>>
>>33480581
You forgot to add the women shrieking the entire time, because that really helps.

got in minor car accident involving ice, and gf was shrieking during the entire fucking thing as i tried to unsuccessfully dodge a sideways sliding car.
>>
>>33480189
>life is defined by class and material goods
>material goods aren't worth life

Altruist dissonance felt
>>
>>33487606
>>33487618
I work at my own computer shop. No cable management because I'm always hooking stuff up etc etc, and have cables I actually use sticking out the side from the MB, and I just can't be arsed to waste time doing it anyway.
>>
>>33480189
Do you have telepathy to divine his intentions?
Do you have x-ray vision to make sure he has no weapons?
>I took the bait
>>
>>33485208
They'll be ungrateful cunts and make him get rid of them, they can go fuck themselves and you can too
>>
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>>33480076
Tell him to let me know if he finds something of value and go back to sleep
>>
>>33482290
>being alive in any version of Cuckistan

It's like you want to be charged with terrorism.

>being dead in any version of Cuckistan

It's like you want to be charged with BIO terrorism.
>>
>>33480076

Open the inter-phone and tell him that there are two more doors,but that one he just kicked down was a trap,fire door slams behind him,space vacuum pumps out the air,I watch him die and then I call the cops
>>
>>33485524
>Home Invader Thwarted by Man Wielding Cartoon Horse Toy and Sexual Device.
>>
>>33486382

This never fails to make me laugh
>>
>>33480209
>Pshh, nothing personnel, burglar
Ftfy
>>
>>33480076
spend 10 seconds choosing between the rifle and pistol under the covers with me
>>
>>33480076
A N.o 8 Opinel, sing and rush the perpetrator, I'll do the jazz hands too for flourish.
>>
>>33481341
I callesd the UN I hope you like sanctions your criminal
>>
>>33487120
Oh lol
"Meime Ehre"?????
Are you fucking dumb??
Thats "Meine Ehre" you burger!
Learn fucking German you little piece of shit!
>>
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>>33489180
That obviously is an n
>>
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>>33480076
>implying my recreational nuke doesn't detonate the moment someone kicks in my front door.

I'd grab whatever gun was next to me at the time.
>>
>>33487655
It's instinct, a very basic cry for help. Anybody who hears it knows a woman is in trouble

At least that's what i figure
>>
>>33480318
There's no way you actually read that post and actually thought he was serious.
>>
>>33480076
Turn around and cum in his face
>>
>>33481341
Everyday we stray further frome God
>>
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>>33486666
Nice quads
>>
>>33487629
Top kek
>>
>>33480076
>*BOOM BOOM
..... BOOM BOOM BOOM ........
..BOOM.......
...............BOOM.......... boom?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ET9SNXpeORY
>>
>>33480076
grab the loaded mini 14 i keep next to my bed and go shoot a nigger
>>
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>>33480076
Fuck up his day/night with an MP34. When his legs are full of lead and then sodomise his pathetic theiving rear with the bayonet. While playing Mein Teil by Rammstein as he screams in pain like the faggot he is.
>>
Closest within 15 seconds is probably a 50 cal ammo can for m855
>>
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>>33481341
Diabolical
>>
>>33481341
You fucking monster
>>
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>>33482799

well, it was going into the freezer eventually, so

also, checked
>>
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I just realized the closest firearm to me at this moment is a Martini Henry and I'm wearing a red coat. I wish for a pith helmet as I chamber a round, fix bayonets, grab the ammo pouch and prepare to defend Rourke's Drift.
>>
>>33480076
9mm right behind me on night stand. further away is a sword on a wall. On the bed is a cat with claws. In the corner is a spear.

Might use to the spear so they dont take the gun in the investigation. The cat is my range weapon.
>>
>>33480076
>What do you do?
Crowbar.
>>
>>33492207
>3am
>hell yeah, gon bus inna dis hous n steel his fiddy inch TV
>bus dat winda an creep in
>finna grab dat screen when I hea sumin
>naked mofucka onna stairs witta spear in one han an a cat in da utha
>dafuc.melanin
>mfucka whip dis cat at me
>aw shit nigga is clawn muhfuggin face awf
>this cracka ass goin full zulu, runnin at me wit a spear an a hardon yellin like a fuckin tweaker
>run my ass tf to da windo, toss that fuckin cat off my face
>Craka Zulu fuckin spears my black ass to da wall
>sheeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiit
>>
>>33480076
makarov 2" from hand
>>
grab my closest m&p shie...oh wait I live in Maryland
>>
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>>33483658
>>
I grab a mace made of a section of 3/4" steel pipe and a pipe union, and my phoenix arms HP22, and assume battle formation.

Hopefully the noise of the HP22 distracts the burglar long enough for me to whack them with the mace.
>>
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>>33493023
>>
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7 rounds of 50ae 8 rounds of 44mag or 5 rounds of .500. Let him pick his poison. I personally would like to see the body ballistics of the .500.
>>
>>33488097
We payday nao
>>
good thing i don't unholster while i'm home!
>>
>unlock phone to see picture of waifu (and perhaps call the cops)
>reee with the force of a throsand suns
>proceed to grab swiss army knife and wood 2x4 i have in the closet
if there is time use my phone to play this on the background https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G02wKufX3nw
>>
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>>33493023
>>
>>33493423
those are big guns
>>
>>33480098
apart from
>taze him
the only true /k/ response
>>
>>33494040
How is he supposed to be disgusted by the neckbeard jizz if he's dead?
>>
>>33481341
fuck off satan
>>
>>33480076
WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU
BOOM BOOM CRASH
WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU
BOOM BOOM CRASH
>>
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>>33480076
>grab my AK
>Yell "Fuck Icecube!" when Barry Burglar enters my line of sight.
>Rat-a-tat-tat
>Today was a good day.
>>
>>33480076
In 15 seconds, I could pick up my revolver from my desk, get up, pick up my PCC mag from the desk, load the PCC leaning against the wall beside me, wake up my wife and hand her one of the weapons, then go ventilate the guy together
>>
>>33480510
You'd make more progress towards converting them if you let the robbery progress a little until you were good and scared, then came out with a firearm (nothing scarey, a simple handgun or fudd gun) and stopped it. Behave calmly, call police, be a good model home defending gun owner
>>
>>33480209

>be slav
>be on second floor above entrance
>hear crash
>grab sickle of glorious Soviet Russia
>window is already kicked out
>land in perfect slav squat behind you
>PPSh, nothingk personnell, komrad
>brrrrrrrrt
>>
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The Lord will protect me
>>
>>33486672
is he ok?
>>
>>33480076
Throw him in a headlock while my guard pig eats his balls.
>>
>>33480076
Shoot em then throw boiling water on the fuck if he's alive
>>
>>33494029
For you
>>
>>33493423
I like the way you think anon.
>>
>>33481341
>>
>>33480076
>BOOM BOOM CRASH
Did Queen break into my house?
>>
>>33480510

This is correct though.
Seriously if my parents were anti gun liberal cucks I'd probably let the place get ransacked then explain to them how easily and practically I could have stopped it afterwards.
>>
Die of shock.
>>
>>33481314
LITTLE
>>
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This. Except with a bayonet in hand too
>>
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>>33480076
>guns are all unloaded in a closet because paranoid parents and retard siblings
>80lb crossbow pistol is only thing available that would take less than 15 seconds to grab and load
At least I can get my renfair costume on before the police arrive.
>>
>>33481652
>Charge down stairs
...and die.
don't do this. let them come to you.
>>
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>BOOM BOOM CRASH
>Criminal scum steps over threshold of door
>covered in gunge from tank
>unsure how to process this
>hears a load of people laughing
>lights turn on to reveal a TV studio
>sodomised to death by a large pink monster


Pic related, the last thing he'll see
>>
Grab my 45mm glock and wesson and shoot him through the wall
>>
>>33500037
God praise Colt Koch!
>>
>>33500037
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C55Zfeod8PI
>>
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>>33492199
>Tfw I own a Martini Henry
Fight back to back?
>>
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>>33493023
Thread posts: 214
Thread images: 63


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